


Wild Strawberries

by sailorloona



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/F, Friends to haters to friends to lovers, Multi, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, a bit of angst, eventual smut :/, lots of fluff, side chuulip, side yveseul, sports AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2020-05-28 06:50:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 250,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19388746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sailorloona/pseuds/sailorloona
Summary: Ha Sooyoung was not a people person, she was quite the opposite, Jung Jinsoul knew this especially since the girl left the bitter taste of wild strawberries in Sooyoung's mouth every time they locked eyes.And she'd always let Jinsoul know her distaste for her presence.





	1. Bully

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, a story where Jinsoul and Yves play beach volleyball and after a broken nose the (re)start of their rocky relationship blossoms!

The world was full of mistakes…and it was Sooyoung’s job to point them out. Or at least that’s what she thought her purpose on this planet was. To belittle every single person that ever graces her presence and tell them why exactly they’re not perfect. Everybody had flaws right Well Sooyoung liked to point them out. It gave her peace of mind. It also distracted her from her own flaws.

Like how she was very bitchy even though she didn’t mean it half the time. Her mouth just didn’t have a filter. It was always thought to voice without a moment of _hmm should I really tell them their teeth look like corn kernel_ s? No, it was quite a continuous loop for Sooyoung. Some poor soul would become smitten with her from afar drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Only to find a painful shock instead of the anticipated warmth. 

She could admit she was attractive like the figurative flame. Very attractive, from the beach bod to the flirtatious smile (that was only sincere 0.01% of the time) to her soothing voice. Her attitude and confidence also brought her this aura that a lot of people couldn’t resist. 

Except when they actually got the guts to talk to her.

The Sooyoung that most people would fall in love with was some charming and seemingly cool playgirl who knew how to make you laugh in seconds. Sooyoung was perfect on the outside, at first glance. But as soon as someone wanted to look a little deeper. They were up for a rude awakening. 

Example one: the boy that has Intro to Film with Sooyoung. Who has been watching her all semester. He thought she was reserved by the way she rarely spoke in the class unless asked. He would feel his heartbeat quicken as she’d shyly stumble out a few thoughts when called on. She was doing the best in the class and he knew because he’d always ask her, she’d just hold up her almost perfect grade and wink.

He was in love with her, or so he thought. She was a perfect girl. Smart, nice, and even funny since some of her analyzations on the various movies they watched were pretty hilarious. Sooyoung was a quick thinker and he couldn’t help but want to hear all her thoughts. 

…

On the other hand, Sooyoung didn’t really like anybody. People annoyed her too much and for some reason, their flaws were always too intolerable to look over. She didn’t mind when they ended up hating her for breaking their hearts or hurting their feelings. They didn’t matter to her. She liked being alone most of the time. Sooyoung was allowed to think more then, and her thoughts were always a mess. 

Like right now, she was thinking about the beach volleyball tournament coming up in the next couple of weeks. It was close to finals and despite having the confidence that she would pass them all with flying colors because she actually studied as she was supposed to. Though her nerves were up to the danger levels, especially about the tournament because what if Jungeun couldn’t –

“Hey, Sooyoung!” Narrowing her eyes she tries to ignore the whiny voice interrupting her thoughts. It persists a little more, repeating her name over and over again. This guy always came up to her after class, and she couldn’t remember his name. It wasn’t like she wanted to anyways. After the fifth call of her name, she forces on a smile and turns to him, “Hey you.”

He blushes and Sooyoung wants to gag, this was getting so old for her. Why couldn’t people just leave her alone? _Oh, right I’m super sexy…_ He scratches at the back of his head as Sooyoung continues to gas herself up in her own head. Even though people were starting to catch on that Sooyoung wasn’t as friendly as she was pretty, she still had lines waiting for her. 

That didn’t matter though because there was no one in that line she wanted.

He rolls his eyes a few times thinking things over. It takes everything in Sooyoung to not burst out in laughter. Sooyoung knew the little dude was about to ask her out, she also knew he was about to get his heart broken too. “Um since finals is soon would like to go out?” 

“No.”

The reply comes out not a second after he finishes. He looks at her with wide eyes and she just smiles in return. Hands folded in her lap and leg bouncing on the floor. She had to keep her cool, her filter needed to work this time. But the boy is way too much, she’s grossed out by the way he’s about to cry. If he didn’t move out the way since he was blocking Sooyoung’s escape route, she would miss lunch. And she really, really didn’t want to miss lunch.

“Can you move out the way?”

He shakes his head, shocked by the rejection, “Why? Sooyoungie I really like you and I want to spend more time with you please go out with me.” 

Sooyoung actually cringes at the nickname. He was in a bow now and the girl could tell how much he was shaking. Rolling her eyes she stands up. It looks like she was going to have to be a little bad today. Oh well, the kid brought it upon himself.

“Please…leave me alone, whenever you stare at me it makes me feel like worms are crawling on me. That’s how creepy you are. I want to forget about you.” The look on his face as she speaks is priceless. The guy had always stared at her in class and it ruined the whole learning experience. So she was a little pissed. Sure she had flirted with him and probably made it worse but she didn’t want to make an enemy, now that the semester was almost over she could care less. 

Standing up straighter she slightly towers over him, smirking when she sees the tears in his eyes. Taking a tissue out of her pocket she places it on her hand and pushes the guy out of the way with the covered hand, she didn’t actually want to touch him. She turns the guy again and hands him the tissue and then mocks his crying.

Hearing the whimpers as she walks out of the class into the empty halls she smiles to herself. Bullying people didn’t really amuse her, she didn’t necessarily like it either even though she found it funny sometimes. It was the only way it got people to steer clear of her though. In high school, she had a different approach when people were interested in being her friend or something more. She was nice, would politely decline and hope they would go the opposite way.

That never worked though, they would continue their efforts. So she started being an ass and her life started turning around after that. People always reacted more strongly to rudeness than an awkward rejection. Sooyoung didn’t want to hang around people that she found annoying, so she’d make them hate her as soon as she could because that’s when people finally left her alone.

With that thought she makes her way into the cafeteria, it was crowded as always making Sooyoung puff up in frustration. Gliding through, dodging people as they scurry to pick up some lunch she goes to the deli line hoping to just grab a peanut butter sandwich. When the whole bar is surrounded by desperate college students Sooyoung has no choice but to what she does best.

Moving behind the guy that was hogging up most of the line she yells loud enough for him to hear since the lunch room was booming with numerous voices, “Yo, fatass!” He slowly turns around and Sooyoung scoffs when she sees at least three sandwiches in his hands. “Can you like fuck off? You’re hogging all the grub.” He shakes a little and Sooyoung can see the glossy eyes as he pushes past her. She wobbles forward and grabs three sandwiches herself.

Scanning the room she looks for a familiar blonde, smiling when she spots her in one of the corners with huge headphones on playing a pink DS with various stickers on it she makes her way over. Plopping her stuff and herself down she flicks the girl on the forehead. Sooyoung laughs when the girl groans and hits her back with a little too much force.

Rubbing her arm that was just assaulted as her friend disregards the oversized headphone she smiles when the girl finally looks at her, “asshole that hurt.” Sooyoung just laughs at the tiny being shaking in rage. Reaching forward she ruffles the blonde locks for a greeting, “there’s my favorite loser!” Her hand is slapped off and Sooyoung feigns hurt but laughs it off while picking up her first sandwich.

Jung Chaewon, Sooyoung’s closest friend for many years, well she was friends with her and all her sisters. Chaewon was a part of the family now…unlike her sister. Sooyoung didn’t dislike everyone. There were some people she genuinely enjoyed, like Chaewon and most of her teammates and of course her sisters.

The blonde was a great match for Sooyoung. Chaewon didn’t mind her bitchiness since the girl always had something sassier to throw back. She knows when Sooyoung needed for things to be quiet and she knew when she needed to be talkative. Also, the girl was weird…like really weird but the kinda weird that was entertaining and Sooyoung was thankful for her friend.

As Sooyoung had her mouth stuffed with food she starts to speak out as Chaewon looks at her with disgust, “soumf I mafed-.” Her sentence is interrupted by a little slap to her throat making her choke out. After numerous pats to the back and a few drinks of milk, she whines out to her friend in protest. “Why did you do that I could have died!” 

Chaewon shrugs and munches on a fry, “you shouldn’t talk when you eat, it’s gross.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and shoves another sandwich half in her mouth. She makes sure to swallow it before speaking again, “Anyways I made someone cry today.” The blonde raises one brow and puts back down the fry that was making its way to her mouth.

“How?”

“I told him, well kinda told him that he gives me the heebie-jeebies.” Chaewon laughs at that, her mouth growing into a little crooked smile, displaying her silver tooth. The high-pitched giggles die out soon and Chaewon tries to become serious. The blonde clears her throat and folds her fists on the table, “and why did you say that to him.” 

Sooyoung shrugs and answers before taking another big bite, “asked me on a date and I was grossed out.” Chaewon shakes her head and wipes a tear from her eye. “Sooyoung what did I say about being mean to people.”

Wiping the crumbs off onto her jeans she smacks on the peanut butter and throws her hands up, “that I should start being nice or it’s all going to come back on me.” Sooyoung didn’t care if people were mean to her, it never hurt her feelings. She’s been called every word in the book and she even has her own bullies. She just was thick-skinned. “Bullying people is fun though.” Chaewon deflates and crosses her arms.

Her friend has never supported her way of…handling people, she’d always make up excuses up. That they wouldn’t leave her alone, Chaewon would always say something back though. _I think there’s something else_. What else could it be? There was no deep meaning to her bullying. She just did it to be doing it. “Of course it’s fun isn’t it.” Her friend’s sarcastic tone makes her frown. 

“Sooyoung…you’re a great person I don’t know why you don’t want people to see that.” Chaewon’s words are confusing to her. Of course, she didn’t want people to see it. Her non-bitchy side was reserved for the people she liked. But even then she’s not that great…

After that it’s silent for a few moments, “you wanna get high this weekend.” Sooyoung perks up at the suggestion. Even though she had finals she thinks that maybe she can unwind or something. “Yes please.” Chaewon nods her head at that, raising her fist for a bump and of course Sooyoung accepts it flipping her wrist so they can do their signature handshake. 

Finishing with spirit fingers Sooyoung goes to pull mp3 player and headphones out. She and Chaewon would usually chill at lunch until their next classes. Sooyoung takes this time to think about her friend's words. _You’re a great person_. It was familiar, although she hasn’t heard a compliment like that in a long time. She’s built a horrible reputation for herself. All due to her smart mouth. 

Chaewon seems to notice something and starts smiling widely. Sooyoung watches the girl raise up in her seat waving excitedly. Following her gaze she rolls over the faces in the cafeteria, the crowd was gone now so it wasn’t hard to find who Chaewon was waving at. Since she was the one that brightened the whole area up despite the sun shining through the windows.

If there was anyone that Sooyoung hated, it had to be Jung Jinsoul.

Most people got on her nerves because they talked too loud or fast. Jinsoul talked slow and quiet and it took a lot of concentration to listen to her. Sooyoung hated stupid laughs, but Jinsoul’s was the worst. It was bright and cheery, sometimes the blonde would even scream for no reason and her manner of speaking would go from _awe she’s shy_ to _damn this bitch is loud_. Fake smiles made her cringe but Jinsoul had the most genuine and prettiest smile she had ever seen. 

Everything Jinsoul did was nice, she was friendly and passionate. The girl was selfless and caring to those around her no matter what. Sooyoung could admit Jung Jinsoul was the first perfect person she had ever met. If they even existed. 

But she was sure they were, because when Jinsoul turned around three times…a whole 360 degrees, the action making Sooyoung scream internally, and found them sitting in the corner of the area all she did was break out into a wide smile that made Sooyoung’s body warm up. No one ever made her feel this way except Jung Jinsoul.

She hated it.

There wasn’t a single annoying thing about Jinsoul, except:

  1. She didn’t like Sooyoung. Actually, she was sure the girl hated her.
  2. Her friends were the worst group of people on this planet. 



So Sooyoung convinced herself to find everything annoying about Jinsoul, from the way she awkwardly stumbles out words and moved about. How she would make cute noises when she was excited. The fact she was a literal genius but still continued to be the biggest dumbass ever. And the misfortune for Sooyoung’s hormones…being incredibly attractive. To the point where Sooyoung would fantasize about certain things, like if they didn’t hate each other. If they felt the opposite for each other.

The Jung sisters were pretty popular. They were drop dead gorgeous, one was hilarious while the other thought she was, one was intelligent while the other acted like she was, and both of them had actual unique personalities. Not the kind of personalities if someone were to ask you to describe yourself in one word you’d reply _I’m indescribable baby_ no their answer was, “ _boong boong drr? Um maybe wah? Oh wait no epic, I’m epic assa._ ” and “ _I think…dumb_.” 

They were similar, oddly similar, but so different at the same time. Being two years apart the sisters shared the fact that they was pretty and weird and having their own set of default noises. Though Jinsoul was popular, she was friends with popular people. Mostly other jocks. People were smitten with her the same they was with Sooyoung. But Jinsoul had the personality that made them fall even harder while Sooyoung left them pissed and heartbroken. Chaewon was not popular and instead of excelling in school and athletics she had mad skills when it came to gaming.

Sooyoung knew that because the girl stayed over at her house often and would have to do homework with the younger girl cussing out her twin sisters when they weren’t pressing a button right. Sooyoung loved Chaewon though, but she hated her sister. It didn’t make much sense right? How could she hate someone resembling her best friend, someone who she could consider perfect? 

Well when Jinsoul locked eyes with her, the bright smile she was displaying for her sister falls. Along with Sooyoung’s stomach when the smile turns into a sad frown. With that it all made sense, the reason she hated Jinsoul. _Is because the girl hated her_. Packing up her things she rushes when Chaewon calls out in that scratchy voice of hers. Sooyoung didn’t want to be within five feet of the other blonde. 

When she stands up Chaewon protests, “hey where are you going?” Sooyoung ignores her slings her bag up on her back. Turning around she gasps when she’s face to face with a literal angel, doe eyes staring straight into hers. Sooyoung curses herself when the blonde makes her blush from the intense gaze. Her heart rate speeding back up and her palms becoming sweaty as she clutches onto the straps of her backpack. 

“Jinsnot…”

“Sooyoung…” 

They stare at each other for a little longer, Jinsoul’s features are completely stone while Sooyoung’s are scrunched up in frustration. Rolling her eyes she shoves past the blonde a little too forcibly and stomps her way out of the cafeteria and into the blistering sun. Her shoulder is still tingling from the way she bumped into Jinsoul, and her tummy is still twisting in knots. She convinces herself that it’s because just looking at Jinsoul pisses her off. And every time they lock eyes there’s a bitter taste of wild strawberries filling her mouth. Not because she wants to lose herself in Jinsoul, not because her heart clenches every time the blonde frowns at her.

Wiping at her face she tries to find a secluded and shaded area to take a quick nap, she would need the energy for tonight. For volleyball practice, where she was in the same area with Jinsoul for over two hours.

Yeah, …she really was gonna need the energy, especially after that little moment in the cafeteria.

…

Sooyoung was sweating a tad bit, well no she was completely drenched. The sun was starting to get hotter and practicing became much more painful. After every evening she would go home sore, exhausted and extremely sticky. At least her tan was coming along nicely. The practice was almost over though and the sun was setting. Now she and her partner were just running drills with each other as a cool down before the last half hour of just scrimmaging with the other players.

Jungeun would set it to her and she would slam down onto the ball for the other girl to receive it, Sooyoung would do the same thing for her. Set it and then receive. It was a pretty basic drill but it helped a lot with control over the ball and build a sense of teamwork. They’ve been going at it for a while now and the ball hasn’t dropped but a few times. The repetition was easy, and Sooyoung knew she and Jungeun were pretty in sync.

Kim Jungeun had been her partner since the start those two years ago, this would be her third season of beach volleyball. This tournament was the start of it, determining the seeding for all the teams participating. Sooyoung hopes their team ranks pretty high. They should because most of them were pretty ruthless players. The volleyball league had three leaders, herself, Jungeun, and some girl named Haseul. They were a small team but with lacking numbers, they were packing skills.

While most of them had played indoor volleyball in high school and only played outdoors in the summers, they all had specific talents. Her sister Hyunjin was unstoppable at the nets. Her hands where large and she could jump so high off the ground that a good bit of hits even the hardest ones wouldn’t break through. Her partner was some girl named Jiwoo who also had talented hands. In…many ways but Sooyoung liked to forget the little fling they had since Jiwoo and Jungeun were a thing now. 

Haseul and Jungeun played at the same high school. While the girl with the bob cut was a setter, who could make the worst passes into a perfect set up for an attack, Jungeun was a defensive specialist, Sooyoung had kept her around because the girl was quick and agile, and it was rare for a ball to drop around her. She and Jungeun were probably the most aggressive players and best at defense. They were the ones always getting band-aids and icepacks since they liked to go hard.

Jung Jinsoul, on the other hand, didn’t go very hard. Sooyoung and Jinsoul were easily the best players on the team, both having perfect forms whenever they spiked and Jinsoul being a great setter while Sooyoung was good with handling attacks from the other team. They were both quick and athletic but their attitudes were night and day.

Sooyoung was aggressive and competitive. She hated losing and often would get on her teammate's nerves with her leadership. The girl just thought she was ambitious, she was passionate about the game after all. Every practice, every game, there was sweat and tears, even sometimes blood. Jinsoul, on the other hand, didn’t take it seriously. If they lost she would shrug and say _at least we're having fun_ and laugh it off. She didn’t work hard enough for Sooyoung. She hated how careless the girl was, how nonchalant she played. How she was graceful while Sooyoung played dirty.

Coach V would beg her to pair up with Jinsoul because the woman would always try and persuade her that they would be a perfect team, a perfect balance. But Sooyoung would refuse, how could she ever work with someone that’s not on the same level as her. Jinsoul didn’t meet her passion, so Sooyoung would always reject her coach, even when she would tell Sooyoung that Jinsoul had agreed. 

Catching the ball instead of hitting it she gestures to her partner that she’s a little thirsty and tosses the ball down. Making her way over to the water coolers she freezes when she notices familiar golden brown hair. It’s pulled back in a loose bun and it’s just a bit darker than her skin. Sooyoung always liked the color of her hair. Like a bronze color, not really brown or blonde. 

Continuing her walk she lets her eyes drift down from the wavy locks to a different kinda curve. Sooyoung often thought about these curves, late at night, in the comfort of her own bed, with the radio on to muffle out the sounds of her heavy breathing and long sighs. The girl has the clench her jaw tightly and blow out of her nose when she catches how Jinsoul’s light blue spandex has ridden up on her ass. Leaving very little to the imagination for Sooyoung. 

_How she would kill to…not right now Sooyoung, please not right now when she’s right in front of her._

Sooyoung didn’t like the fact that her best friend’s sister made her insides turn into goo whenever the blonde would bite her lip in concentration or whenever she arched her back when resting from an unsuccessful dig or how she made receiving a volleyball so seductive. Sooyoung thought she was crazy with how horny she got just by watching Jinsoul play a pretty tame sport.

 _You’re not supposed to be this attracted to a person you hate right?_

But here she was almost drooling at how the sand was sticking to Jinsoul’s sweaty skin. Coming directly behind her where they’re almost touching Sooyoung leans over and grabs the water cup out of Jinsoul’s hands, “thanks pinhead.” Sooyoung’s skin is on fire because when she reached over the girl’s shoulders their bodies slightly grazed upon each other. She can’t stop thinking about how soft Jinsoul’s skin is.

The blonde turns around as Sooyoung starts to gulp down the cool liquid, some of it trailing down her throat from her sloppiness. Jinsoul pouts and forms her eyebrows into an interesting shape. “Who you calling pinhead?”

Sooyoung almost chokes on the water from Jinsoul’s expression that is entirely too cute for her liking. Jinsoul doesn’t only make her want to throw her coochie out the window because of the annoying aching from all the eye candy she receives on the daily but also her heart. Because Sooyoung doesn’t like the way her it melts and how everything is feather light in her chest. She doesn’t like how Jinsoul almost makes her break out into a goofy smile, because the blonde makes her so giddy.

_You’re not supposed to feel this way about someone you hate._

_But you’ve always felt this way, haven’t you Sooyoung?_

Clearing her throat and coughing out all the butterflies that erupted in her tummy she blames it on the fact that Jinsoul is actually giving her some attention. And she’s itching to receive it all. “You have a wedgie by the way probably because of that fat fucking ass.” 

When she thought of Jinsoul’s ass it was more of a dream, a fantasy really, one of her biggest ones was to have both cheeks in her hands while Jinsoul was sitting on her… _yeah_ and maybe having it arch into her as she was… _doing_ something to her from behind, Sooyoung definitely wouldn’t mind having a hand full of it, giving it a little… _okay, stop._ But the tone of her voice made it seem like none of those thoughts were true and that it was a nightmare.

The only nightmare, was how much she objectified Jinsoul’s body, but she wasn’t a good person, to begin with, was she. 

“Maybe you should get one of those caution stickers that say wide load so people will know to get out the way when you’re moving around.” Jinsoul flares her nostrils up at that and opens her mouth up to say something but nothing comes out. She just clamps it back closed with tears filling her eyes. There’s an incredible amount of tension between them and Sooyoung can feel the anger radiate from Jinsoul’s body. There’s something else too, something that’s not so easy to deal with, disappointment. 

Sooyoung feels sick every time she’s mean to Jinsoul, deep down she still doesn’t know why she does it. She has a hunch for the reasoning but she thinks it would be pathetic for it to be actually true. Jinsoul deserves the world and more, but yet here Sooyoung was, giving her hell just to spite her. For unknown reasons to everyone, except for to the both of them. And they’re both too stubborn to face it.

So Sooyoung continues to hate herself for making Jinsoul upset, and Jinsoul continues to not stand up for herself because her guilty conscious holds herself back. 

She laughs at herself when Jinsoul starts to back away, Sooyoung lets her walk off while making beeping noises, mocking the blonde who stomps off. And the lowlife she is, she stills tilts her head to watch Jinsoul’s ass, she swears it jiggles since her steps are aggressive. “You know…she was about to cry, do you really think it’s appropriate to be eye fucking her?” Turning to her teammate she scoffs at Jungeun who is giving her an awful look. 

She and Jungeun weren’t exactly friends despite working very well together. If they had one thing in common it was the love for the game and nothing more. Jungeun was scary and too serious for Sooyoung. The girl was also bat-shit crazy. Sooyoung never dared to say anything to her and often would receive these terrifying looks whenever she made fun of Jiwoo’s bangs. Even though they weren’t close at all they still seemed to understand each other.

“I don’t understand why you give her so much shit when you clearly have a thing for her.” Sooyoung slaps the cup out of Jungeun’s hand that was being filled with water. Sooyoung keeps her eyes on Jungeun’s face while the latter is staring at her cup in the sand with a blank expression, “I don’t have a thing for her.”

“Yeah sure okay and I like putting grape jelly in-between my toes.” 

“What?”

“Oh sorry, I thought we were playing who could say the stupidest shit.”

Sooyoung is bewildered for a moment before Jungeun lays a firm hand on her shoulder. “I have been your teammate for two years now, I know we do not talk often but,” Jungeun takes her other hand to point two fingers between their heads, “we are in sync, we can communicate like that.” Sooyoung is a little scared from how intense Jungeun’s glare is but continues to listen. “Every practice…from day one, you stare at her with this weird softness in your eyes and then you find a reason to talk to her.”

The girl sighs before shaking her head, “then you insult her by either calling her stupid or fat and you end up looking like a kicked puppy when she walks off pissed.”

“If you would compliment her like a NORMAL person with an attraction would then maybe she would actually like you.” Sooyoung furrows her brows, Jungeun thinks that she’s stupid. She doesn’t really know her all that too well after all. No matter what Sooyoung would do Jinsoul still wouldn’t like her. No one seemed to understand that but her.

Jungeun then spits on the ground between them and Sooyoung actually gags at the disgusting action, “why did you do that?” 

“Because where I’m from that means that some real shit was just said.” Sooyoung gives her an even more confused look and the shorter girl just smirks. Something very out of the ordinary from her usually stoic face. Sooyoung receives a punch to the chest that makes her huff out and Jungeun then walks away. She wishes the girl was right though, but she was sure if she was to stop being such an ass nothing would change. She would rather have the nauseous feeling in her stomach rather than the empty one.

Sooyoung fills the cup she stole off Jinsoul back up and drinks it back down again. She wonders if Jinsoul was thirsty and if she was the reason the blonde wasn’t over her drinking right now. Because thinking back she never has seen the girl take a sip. A part of her wants to fill it up and take it to Jinsoul herself. But that would be too awkward and Jinsoul would probably decline it anyway.

“Ha get over here now we’re starting!” With the sound of her name from her coaches, she tosses the cup down and starts to sprint back to the nets. Jungeun was waiting for her already in position with a serious expression on her face. Looking at the other side she frowns when she sees Jinsoul and Haseul standing, with Haseul ready to serve. Sooyoung rolls her eyes and steps into position. She would hopefully be the one to receive the serve so she’d be the one to hit.

Haseul tosses the ball up along with her body for the jump serve and the ball comes hurtling over. Jungeun is the one to receive it so Sooyoung hurries to the net to set it up for the shorter girl and she ends up rolling it over. She stays at the net while Jungeun falls back and they watch as the other two girls do the same as they did, but Sooyoung follows the blonde hair and Jumps a little after she does blocking her spike and sending it back over.

She smiles when she hears a frustrated groan as Jinsoul bumps it back into the air for Haseul to set it. The second time she hits it Sooyoung’s too late and she only tips the ball in the air but Jungeun manages to control it, putting it right where Sooyoung wants it. It was like clockwork now the way she approaches the net and leaps in the air to smack the ball right down in between the offending players. Hopping a bit when she lands she lets herself smirk. 

The defeated looks on the girl’s faces were priceless. Stepping away from the net she bends over and gives Jungeun a signal hidden from the other players. She focuses on one of them, the one in the front and how her eyebrows are knotted in concentration. When Sooyoung spends too long staring she jumps a tad when Jinsoul flicks her eyes towards her. Usually, Jinsoul never looked at her during practice, actively avoiding her. 

Right now Jinsoul was staring a hole through her and Sooyoung couldn’t bring herself to look away. Not with the way her breath was hitching right now. The sound of the ball being slapped breaks their little staring contest and Sooyoung gets ready to block but she’s way too late so she quickly falls back. Jinsoul jumps up and slams down on the ball pile driving it right into Sooyoung’s chest. It flies off somewhere and Sooyoung just winces at the sharp pain.

Standing back up she raises a brow and huffs out, her chest was stinging for the hit and she knows that Jinsoul must have done it on purpose. It proves her right when her gaze gravitates to the girl and she’s met with a smirk and dark eyes. Jinsoul hasn’t smiled at her in a long time and even though this one is probably out of pure anger with a hint of challenge she can’t help but feel the hairs stand up on her neck. Sooyoung smiles back and gets down ready to take whatever Jinsoul gives her.

And boy does she give it to her. This is probably the hardest scrimmage Sooyoung has ever had. She’s never seen Jinsoul go this hard. The girl is aggressive, very aggressive. From how hard she slams onto the ball and the desperation of her digs the other two get their asses handed to them despite being the pairing with the best stats. Jinsoul is trying to prove to everyone that she is the all-star of the team, not Ha Sooyoung. Who was gasping for air since she hasn’t played defense like this in forever.

 _Damn, maybe I shouldn’t smoke weed this weekend_. 

One rally seems to go on forever. Both teams putting everything they got into getting that ball to hit the ground on the opposing side. Sooyoung hears grunts from the blonde when she hits and she’s panting from how much she’s working, usually, she’s quiet when she plays. The weirdest part though is the look she gives Sooyoung after every rally. Something fierce in the way Jinsoul’s nostrils are flared, something passionate about burning behind her eyes.

It scared Sooyoung, seeing a change in Jinsoul’s demeanor. It also gave her adrenaline. She hasn’t had this much fun in a long time. 

Sooyoung is backtracking to get into defense while Jungeun goes up to the net to block. The next thing she knows is that she’s diving towards the ground and she perfectly digs Jinsoul’s attack sending it up to Jungeun. Except for the ball drops and so does Jungeun. Sooyoung doesn’t waste a second sprinting to her teammate when she hears the blood-curdling scream. The girl is face down in the sand holding her knee with one hand while the other pounds down. 

She’s never seen Jungeun show this much emotion. Coach V comes running over with a phone in hand already calling for help. Sooyoung and Jiwoo are the ones to lift Jungeun cringing when she cries out again. The rest of the team follow behind them as they go sit Jungeun in a better area for some medics to arrive. Coach V waves her hand away for them to give the girl some space, they all step back and watch the girl on the bench wailing as their coach talks to her.

Hyunjin comes up to wrap an arm around Sooyoung, they’re all clearly shaken from their teammate’s injury, especially Sooyoung and Jiwoo. Sooyoung was worried, this was only the beginning of the season, what if Jungeun wasn’t going to be okay? As the girl felt the anxiousness settle within her chest she didn’t notice the soft eyes staring at her back. The same ones that were flaming into her own just moments ago. Hyunjin comforts her as she mouths to Jiwoo that’s going to be okay. Soon enough the medics arrive and carry Jungeun off, with Jiwoo following. Sooyoung’s chest is tight and her mind is whirling with bombarding thoughts.

Coach V rakes a hand through her hair in frustration and dismisses them all, except for her and Jinsoul. Sooyoung freezes at her name and her sister gives her a lingering look before patting her on the back to leave. Sooyoung trudges over, letting her feet drag across the sand hoping that with one step she’ll get stuck and she won’t have to go talk to her coach. 

Unfortunately it doesn’t happen and now she’s standing a couple of feet away from Jinsoul and Coach V. The woman scratches at her head before sadly slumping her shoulders, the pressure of being a college athletes coach must be hard but Coach V has always been pretty strong, Sooyoung has never seen her look weaker than in this moment though. She and Jungeun were the starters, they were the ones that played the most games. And by the way Jungeun was acting, that was no minor injury.

“I’m sure that Jungeun won’t be with us for a while.” Sooyoung nods and remembers the girl next to her when she scoots closers. Sooyoung just takes another step sideways. Coach V narrows her eyes at the both of them, hesitant to what she’s about to say. One scenario is for the both of them to be mature, the other being only one of them being mature, and worst case is them both being stubborn babies. “I need you two to be a pair.” Sooyoung doesn’t flinch but Jinsoul does and that’s what makes her decision.

She can feel Jinsoul’s eyes roll over to her. Sooyoung hates how concerned the girl is right now, “O-okay.” Her voice is quiet and shaky. Jinsoul must have been torn up from the injury too. Then they stare at Sooyoung, who had closed her eyes when Jinsoul spoke, “I…can’t.” Coach V groans and Sooyoung feels a fist drop down on her head.

“But you will because I said so!” Sooyoung rubs at the tub of her head while whining at the scolding. She’s a grown ass woman, she can make the call if she wants to play or not and she doesn’t want to, when Jungeun can’t. “If Jungeun can’t play then I don’t want to, imagine how she’ll feel to see me still playing while she’s hurt. It’s not fair.” Coach V’s stare softens at that, Sooyoung hates the way she assumes things. After what Jinsoul’s showed today, the energy she had on the nets today. Sooyoung wouldn’t mind playing with her since they were on the same level.

But she didn’t want to play without Jungeun. She didn’t want to play if she couldn’t.

“Sooyoung don’t be so stubborn.” 

“I’m not I’m trying to be respectful.” 

They both are going head to head, Sooyoung and Coach V always didn’t agree on things and often they argued. Coach V getting pissed when things didn’t go her way and Sooyoung making sure that things _never_ went her way. Sooyoung could admit she was annoying, just like she was right now. But their little spout is interrupted by a softer voice, “why don’t you play for her?” 

Sooyoung turns to the blonde and watches as eyes that were glued to the side of her head jerk down to the sand. She watches as the blonde nervously twists her feet with her hands behind her back, she thinks it might be the cutest thing she’s ever seen. “I don’t know why we’re talking about this while Jungeun is not here.” Jinsoul was right, Jungeun could be one of those people that were like _respect my legacy by playing for me_ or something, and it could embarrass her if Sooyoung were to sit out. As if she was holding the other girl back by getting hurt. 

Coach V nods and puts a hand on the both of them, “If I ask Jungeun what she wants, then you two will do it right?” Sooyoung smiles and Jinsoul only whisper out a yes. As soon as the woman lets go Sooyoung darts off. Jinsoul was going to say something to her by the way her mouth was opening and closing like a fish out of water and Sooyoung wasn’t really in the mood to talk to her.

Grabbing her bag and throwing on a t-shirt she catches up with her sister. Who was waiting for her before they went to the bus stop. Hyunjin is flipping her phone around when she notices Sooyoung and clicks off of it to greet her. “What up Sandy Cheeks?” Sooyoung slaps her head at the name. Her sisters always liked to call her the character do to her teeth and it annoyed her to no end. She regrets the assault because her sister reacts by putting her in a headlock all the way to the bus stop.

Sooyoung sighs in relief when her head is finally free and apologizes to the stronger one. Hyunjin just rolls her eyes and sits on the bench patting it for the older one to sit down. Sooyoung starts to tell her the plan that Coach V had just come up with and her sister tentatively listens. Usually, it was Yerim that she talked about these things with because Hyunjin was too blunt and Hyejoo just straight up zoned her out.

But she needed to let it out right now or she was gonna go crazy, thoughts of Jungeun not being able to play and thoughts of having to play with Jinsoul was making her nerves go haywire. Turning at a pungent smell she gasps when her sister has a whole rotisserie chicken in her lap. She informs Sooyoung that she’s still listening and even offers the chicken to her. Sooyoung accepts and grabs a leg and Hyunjin closes the container. 

Sooyoung devours the leg still talking, “and like I don’t know why she wants me….wow this is _so good_ , I don’t know if Jinsoul and I would be a good pair.”

She goes silent then, she didn’t want to hold Jinsoul back because they couldn’t get along. It was all her fault anyway, why they hated each other. “I think you will be surprised. Jungeun was holding you back you know…she’s not a very good blocker or hitter.” Sooyoung wants to defend her friend but she knows her sister is right. Jungeun did lack in skills that Jinsoul had. The bus soon rolls up and they hop on for the short ride to their home.

Sooyoung wraps her arm around Hyunjin as they walk through the door, meeting warm air and a sweet smell. “We’re home!” Sooyoung hears one welcome back and makes her way to the kitchen while her sister heads upstairs. Throwing her bag down she smiles when she sees her Granma holding her other sister’s hostage at the dining table. “And that’s why I would let Denzel Washington turn me inside out- oh there’s my Soo!” She makes her way across the table receiving a fist bump from Hyejoo a kiss from her Granma and a hug from Yerim.

Her younger sister hugs her a little too long and whispers into her ear, “help us please.” Sooyoung laughs and pushes her off snorting at the fearful expression Yerim is giving her. Turning around she makes her way to the counter where a woman is cutting up some vegetables to stir fry. “Hey, auntie.” Sooyoung receives a smile and a head nudge, “your mom is working late again.” Sooyoung nods her head at the woman’s sad tone and makes her way back to where the stairs were.

Living in a house full of women with only one _working_ shower was a challenge. It was also more of a challenge to feed seven mouths especially when two of them we’re growing girls and two more were athletes. Granma was the oldest, clearly and usually was sat at the kitchen table or recliner talking nonsense. Then her auntie and mom was only a few years apart. Sooyoung was the oldest sibling and then Hyunjin was in the middle preparing to become a college student, while the youngest, the twins were still in High school.

It was a hectic house. But Sooyoung loved every second of it especially when Chaewon would come over and the five of them would pile into the twin's rooms and play games and gossip. Sooyoung liked her home a lot unlike her blonde friend, who always came up with excuses to come over. Closing the door to her and Hyunjin’s room she wipes off the sweat and sand with a towel before throwing herself on the bed.

Looking up at the glow in the dark star stickers on the ceiling that were put up years ago by…someone, she thinks about the day’s events and what comes tomorrow. Sighing out, she first silently hopes that Jungeun is okay, and then she prays she’ll be able to handle Jinsoul at tomorrows practice. She thinks about the tears in the blonde’s eyes earlier today and how nervous she was when standing beside her. Deep down Sooyoung knew they weren’t going to work well together and that thought killed her.

“Goddamn it.” 

Rolling over she shoves her face into a pillow, maybe a quick nap would make her forget about today.

Maybe she would forget about how she’ll always disappoint Jinsoul.

…

Sooyoung was taking her sweet time eating this apple because as soon as she was done with it she had to start practice. Unfortunately, Jungeun had torn her ACL and would be out for the whole season, and she had begged Coach V to pair Jinsoul and Sooyoung up god only knows why. She knew her former partner would throw her under the bus like that and now she was going to have the worst summer of her life. 

Summers were meant to be fun for Sooyoung, from staying up all night with Chae and her sisters. To playing beach volleyball and leading the university’s dance club. But most of all just finally getting some alone time. Sooyoung loved to smoke something and just roam at night or even during the day, anywhere or everywhere. From the isolated beaches to the city park, to those creepy alleyways with graffiti. 

Her summer was soiled though and the culprit was standing right in front of her blocking the sun. Sooyoung was lounging on the sand with one arm propping her up and the other fiddling with the apple in front of her face. Looking up with one eye open she stares at the site of Jinsoul frowning down on her. Despite the scrunched up features and the way she’s hunched over like an overweight man Sooyoung can’t help but compare her to an angel. Or better yet compare angels to her.

Sooyoung huffs and tosses the apple behind her, she’ll pick it up later but right now she wants to look cool in front of Jinsoul. “Is there something you need Humpty dumpty?” Jinsoul furrows her brows up more and holds a hand above them. “Are you ready to practice?” Jinsoul ignores her insult per usual and just gives her an unamused glare. Sooyoung leans back onto both her hands and takes her time checking Jinsoul out.

She notices the girl is wearing larger track shorts today, wedgie-proof. She still has just a bra on though so Sooyoung lets her gaze linger on a slightly tone tummy. The shorts also take away from Jinsoul’s hips, Sooyoung is pretty out of luck today. Sooyoung however, always wore a sports bikini since that’s what their game outfits were anyways so might as well get used to them. After an ample amount of time going googly eyes on Jinsoul, disappointed the girl is not doing the same to her she shakes her head, “not with you.” 

Jinsoul sighs and brings down her hand to look off into the distance, “do you really hate the thought of playing with me that much?” Sooyoung doesn’t say anything, she just continues to watch how the girl’s jaw clenches. Jinsoul always had a nice side profile. Thinking of nothing she stands up to maneuver around the blonde. She was mostly just going solo today until the scrimmage. She couldn’t stand being around her for that long.

The rest of the practice is her doing exercise drills besides volleyball. Core strength and legs, some arms. She was doing practice blocks on the dummy net when the blonde finally comes to speak with her. She had been practicing with Haseul the whole time, “we’re about to scrimmage and Coach V wants us together.” 

“Duh, I know that dipshit.” Jinsoul groans but keeps her mouth shut. Sooyoung wonders how much it would take to break Jinsoul. To finally push her to the point where she couldn’t take it anymore. Catching her breath she walks over to the nets leaving Jinsoul fuming back at the practice ones. Sooyoung waves at her sister and Jiwoo before getting in position. Jinsoul waddles over clearly pissed as she goes to the back to serve.

Sooyoung doesn’t give her a signal for where she should put the ball, she just picks at her nose. The ball goes flying over and Sooyoung gets ready to block. Her sister jumps up in the air to smack down on it and Sooyoung manages to slow it down for Jinsoul to set it up, only for the ball to go right between her hands. It hits her in the face and bounces down onto the ground. The others stifle their laughs because the blonde is embarrassed by the silly mistake but Sooyoung is dying, even hunched over as she makes fun of Jinsoul.

Picking up the ball she throws it to her sister before commenting, “nice set Jinsnot.” She doesn’t even look at Sooyoung only at the ground as her whole face is red and tears are close to pouring out of her eyes. Sooyoung gets ready to receive the serve and gets down in position. It comes flowing over and she calls out to receive it maneuvering her arms in place. It’s about to come down until a body and another set of arms bump into her. The ball goes flying off to the side near Coach V who has her face in her hands.

“S-sorry…” Sooyoung rolls her eyes at the quiet voice and turns to the blonde. “Are you deaf? Or is there too much wax in your ears, moron, I obviously called that.” Jinsoul is crying now, silently there are tears falling down her face and Sooyoung’s never been so annoyed. This was exactly the reason she always refused to pair up with Jinsoul.

Jinsoul waves her hands about in a stupid manner, “I know but-.”

“No buts just stay out of my way.” Sooyoung snaps and gets back into defense ignoring the small sniffles. Jinsoul stays out of her way this time and Sooyoung gives her a decent bump but when Jinsoul goes to set it she accidentally sets it straight up. Sooyoung has to change her course and sprint to the middle but even then she can’t even hit it because Jinsoul is frozen right to the spot. Sooyoung pushes her a little before catching the ball since it was coming right towards the blonde’s head.

This time she doesn’t even say anything and curses when she throws the ball under the net. The next serve Jinsoul receives it and Sooyoung gives her a set to the outside. Everything looks good except for the finish. Since the ball goes into the net. Sooyoung is so frustrated she doesn’t notice how nervous Jinsoul is. The scrimmage continues to be a disaster with every set going opposite directions and attacks going out of bounds and into nets. Sooyoung has almost had enough.

She’s kept her mouth shut from the beginning. But it’s too much when Sooyoung goes up to block when Jinsoul does too. They bump into each other and Sooyoung falls down to the ground. She spots her sister in shock. Jinsoul holds a hand out to her for support but Sooyoung slaps it away and stands up getting right in the girl’s face. She’s _definitely_ had enough at this point.

This isn’t just Sooyoung being mean, this is Sooyoung being actually pissed because how can someone be so, “Stupid! You are so _fucking_ stupid Jinsoul!” This is the first time in years she’s said the girl’s name without some rude play on it. “How can you take the simplest of directions and still fuck up!” Sooyoung is referring to the stay _out my way_ part, since the entire time Jinsoul has blocked her path somehow. 

Everyone is watching as she continues to belittle Jinsoul. Grabbing the ball she puts it right in Jinsoul’s face, “look idiot it’s simple you hit this not me…now is that so hard?” Throwing the ball down she bends down to look into Jinsoul’s eyes which are bloodshot. “Is that so fucking hard Jinsoul?” The blonde keeps her gaze on the ground. “No.”

“Apparently it is! Since you can’t seem to do it! I thought you were good at this game but really you just suck don’t you?” Jinsoul’s face is contorting into anger but Sooyoung doesn’t care because she’s just as angry. She’s angry that Jungeun is hurt and she has no one to play with. She’s angry because Jinsoul is not playing like she did yesterday.

She’s angry because she knows her and Jinsoul will never work out. As a pair, as teammates, as anything.

Not even simply as friends.

“Maybe you just don’t give a shit.” Jinsoul’s eyes finally meet her own and there’s something there that Sooyoung can’t figure out. She knew Jinsoul, she knew what her eyes meant most of the time but right now she’s never seen this. “You don’t give a shit about this team or about Jungeun.” Jinsoul is breathing hard now and Sooyoung stands up to look her straight into her eyes. “I do care Sooyoung.” 

“No you don’t, or you would playing without your head stuck up your ass. Face it Jinsoul, you’re not a team player, you’ve always played for yourself!” Jung Jinsoul never played for the team and today and yesterday proved it. Yesterday she played hard just to get back at Sooyoung, today she was too scared of playing because of Sooyoung. She was only worried about herself. 

The team is watching them in silence and Coach V has her fingers split open to observe the exchange. Sooyoung stares at the now sobbing blonde, she doesn’t feel nauseous this time, she’s completely void of any feeling. What she doesn’t expect is the fist flying towards her face, right into her nose. She falls back onto the sand holding her nose that’s squirting out blood, “you’re the selfish one Sooyoung!”

About to get up and stop Jinsoul the blonde crawls on top of her and starts to pound her fists into Sooyoung’s face. The girl could only defend herself by shielding it with her arms. There’s blood flowing into her mouth and she can’t breathe. The metallic seeping onto her taste buds. Whenever she looked at Jinsoul, the bitter taste of wild strawberries invaded her mouth.

But from now on when she would look at the blonde, all she would be reminded of was today, and how the blood had a stronger taste than the fruit.

Her ears are ringing but she can still hear her teammates yelling, trying to pull the raging girl of off Sooyoung. She doesn’t move though and lets Jinsoul take out her anger on her. Sooyoung knows she’s broken her. The girl finally pushed Jinsoul to her limits. And this was the consequence. A broken nose, a mouth full of blood and a swollen cheek. And all Sooyoung could think of.

Is how she deserved every hit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you have any expectations for this…then don’t 

Jinsoul and Yves are complicated characters and maybe you’ll dislike them, especially Jinsoul after a few chapters. But for now just enjoy this little introduction! Anyways goodbye and hope you enjoy :D XOXO


	2. Let’s work together...or not.

As soon as the fists dropped so did the tears, Sooyoung hears all of the yelling continue and brings her arms down from her face. Jinsoul is sobbing on top of her with shaky fists that were just connecting with her face clenched to her sides. Sooyoung grimaces when Jinsoul’s tears start to drip onto her face, mixing with the blood from her busted nose and cut lip. She says nothing to the girl on top of her, only watching as she mumbles out incoherent sentences.

Coach V is behind her trying to pull her off but every time she touches Jinsoul, the blonde flails her arms. Sooyoung can’t breathe, even though at this moment she doesn’t really want to. Jinsoul wipes at her face smudging her eyeliner all over. There’s even a little snot coming out of her nose where she’s crying so hard _. Childish_. 

But it’s not Jinsoul. 

It’s her.

She was so childish for making someone cry this hard. Like some kid who takes lunch money. “You’re so mean Sooyoung.” The girl feels her heartbreak at the words. But she also feels her blood boil. If Jinsoul only knew how mean she could really be. If she only felt half of what Sooyoung felt… “Why are you so mean?” Sooyoung thinks for a moment. She could say something like _because you are dumb and it is fun_ or she could say _I’m sorry for hurting your feelings_.

Neither. Sooyoung says neither of them and remains quiet. Jinsoul’s crying has stopped and it’s only small whimpers coming from her throat. Once Jinsoul’s vision is clear from all the tears the blonde’s face drops. Sooyoung watches the fear form onto Jinsoul’s features. “Your face. I-I’m.” Sooyoung furrows her brows, Jinsoul was definitely going to start crying again. She was proven right once the tears started falling again onto her face.

Jinsoul starts apologizing to her. _Sorry_ and _forgive me_ is being repeated and Sooyoung thinks it’s a waste of breath. Jinsoul had nothing to be sorry for, she deserved every hit. But why did it make Sooyoung feel so good when she apologized? She couldn’t stand it anymore, all this crying was annoying and she just wanted to go home. Sooyoung hated all this attention Jinsoul was giving to her. She didn’t know what to do with it, she didn’t earn it. 

“Please get her off of me.” Sooyoung keeps her hands to her chest since she didn’t want to touch Jinsoul. Coach V finally pries her off much to the blonde’s protest. Sooyoung wipes at her face and stares at the blood at her hand. The pain was bearable but it still hurt. Probably not as much as Jungeun’s knee and probably not as much as Jinsoul’s feelings.

Standing up she blows some of the blood out of her nose and buries it into the sand. Hyunjin immediately comes over to her and tries to comfort her but Sooyoung wasn’t fazed. It was like she got hit with a ball, not like she just got her ass handed to her by one of the babiest of babies. “I’m fine let’s go home.” Her sister gives her a concerned look and Sooyoung starts to walk off. If there was something that pissed her off to no end it was people feeling sorry for her. 

Everyone was looking at her sadly, Jiwoo, Haseul, even Coach V who never gave sympathy. Scoffing she goes over to her bag ready to pack up until a hand is placed onto her shoulder. Turning around she’s met with Coach V’s stare. Great, she was definitely not going home anytime soon. “My office, come on.” Of course, she had to go to her office. Sooyoung was always in her office for something. Her attitude, if she was having trouble with school, sometimes for volleyball. Coach V had always tried to be some role model for her. But she already had her role model so she didn’t need one. The woman’s advice was too direct, it never made sense to Sooyoung.

Sooyoung throws on a t-shirt and takes a towel out to wipe at her face. She was tired so she just lazily swiped over it. Thankfully her nose was stopped up now, the blood no longer pouring down her lips and chin. Turning around ready to follow Coach V to her office she groans out when she sees the still crying blonde beside her, “not you…I’m tired of her!” 

The crying becomes noisy and her coach gives her an angry look. “My office now!” Sooyoung follows both of them from a couple feet behind. Jinsoul is holding onto Coach V’s hand. It’s cute but shouldn’t Sooyoung be the one crying. Shouldn’t she be the one receiving special treatment? She wants her hand to be held, but not by their coach. 

They reach the office after a bit of a walk. Coach V’s office was just some building on the beach. It was where the official nets were and the games were played here. It was also where the tournament would be played. The woman unlocks the door and ushers them in. It’s cold inside of the building and Sooyoung can’t help but shiver. Throwing down her bag she takes the comfy chair and leans her head back. 

Coughing when blood goes to the back of her throat her coach rushes over to lean her head forward. Sooyoung spits it out into the trashcan that was placed next to her. Coach V shows her some medical supplies and Sooyoung nods keeping still as the woman patches her face up. Jinsoul only stares at her and even though the room is freezing she starts to sweat from the eyes glued to her face. 

Once Coach V is done she goes to lean on her desk looking between the two girls. Jinsoul is only paying attention to Sooyoung and the latter is giving all her attention to a ladybug on the floor. Shaking her head she snaps her fingers for their attention. Sooyoung’s is immediate but it takes Jinsoul longer to pull her eyes from the battered face.

“I don’t know what this personal vendetta you two have against each other but it has to end now.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes while Jinsoul brings her focus back to the girl. “Sooyoung the attitude stops now or I’m cutting you from the team.” Sooyoung was mocking her coach. Now she was standing and screaming while her coach ignored her, talking to Jinsoul instead. Sooyoung shuts her mouth and listens to them. Wondering what could be more important than the threat of her being cut from the team.

She was the star player, how could she just be _cut_ off.

“I told you to ignore her I’m disappointed in you Jinsoul.” Sooyoung can’t believe her ears or eyes as she watches Jinsoul shake her head in shame. Do they talk about her behind her back? Pissed she starts to walk off and out the door until someone pulls her back in. When she sees it’s Jinsoul she shoves the girl off of her. “Fine cut me off the team I don’t want to play no way!” 

Jinsoul reaches out to her again but Sooyoung steps away from her grasp. That’s when the blonde loses her temper for the second time that day, “you’re so irritating!” Jinsoul stomps back to her chair and sits down with a huff. “I am trying to make this work for the team, Jesus can’t we be mature and pretend to not hate each other?” Sooyoung freezes at the door and stares at the blonde’s fists which are shaking again.

“That’s why I try to ignore you because I have to if we’re ever going to win a game together.” Oh, that makes sense because she’s sure if Jinsoul did ever talk back it wouldn’t end well. Like today. Sooyoung got her ass beat because Jinsoul didn’t ignore her. And it was probably easier for Jinsoul to not lose her marbles if she wasn’t such an asshole. 

Sooyoung goes back to sit down, embarrassed by her little temper tantrum. “What do you want?” She’s asking both of them but only their coach answers stepping forward to put a hand on each of their shoulders. “I want you two to become an unstoppable pair and win me some games.” 

“The first step is making up and the second is simply getting along even if you want don’t to.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and turns to Jinsoul who is giving her this cute…puppy dog eyed expression with her lip in a pout. Sooyoung wants to think this is just some mocking and exaggerated expression but it makes her want to gag knowing this is Jinsoul in natural sad mode. “I don’t want to get along with an animal.” 

Coach V squeezes her shoulder making Sooyoung squeal out. “Fine, I’ll shut up!” Sooyoung was not going to be Jinsoul’s friend but she would tolerate her for the team’s sake. For Jungeun who was in the hospital for her sisters who looked up for her and the man she’d always play for. She would play for them and only them. 

‘So that means no more fighting from you two right? I don’t have to worry about putting you two together?” The girls nod their heads and Coach V thanks them and tells them to get out of her office since she was annoyed with them. Sooyoung picks her bag up and makes her way out. Opening the door to the beach she’s met with the warm light from the sunset. Maybe she could chill for just a moment. Enjoy the only peace she’s had today.

Crawling closer to the ocean she sits her bag down and slowly flops herself down onto the sand. Sooyoung always liked the ocean, how it never seemed to stop moving. Once someone told her that the moon had kept the ocean flowing. Her mother was that person’s moon, it was their reason to keep moving until they couldn’t anymore. From that day on Sooyoung had thought of that person as her moon. 

That person taught her how to swim, how to run, all of the motions of life. They were gone before they could teach her how to be kind and thoughtful. Thankfully someone else had come along and taught her that. But that same person had made her bitter and detached. Sooyoung still to this day couldn’t believe a lesson of love could be so harsh. How the same person who taught her what love felt like, was the same one who showed her heartbreak.

That lesson was very apparent today. Since that person was there standing behind her unsure what to say. Because she had nothing to say. She had already told Sooyoung everything through her actions. The same lesson was taught to Sooyoung. How love could be so cruel. How it could hurt more than heal. “What is it Jinsoul?” Her professor was bad, she didn’t teach her all the way to the end. She didn’t teach her how to move on. But how could she move on from something that had never started? 

“I’m sorry Sooyoung.” She knows Jinsoul’s not apologizing for the broken nose or the harsh words, but that’s what it looks like on the outside so they’ll keep it that way. “It’s fine.” Sooyoung continues to look out into the ocean. Turning around she instantly regrets it. Jinsoul looked so beautiful with the sun shining on her. Despite her eyes being puffy and her nose still running, she still was effortlessly gorgeous. Her glow was warmer than the sun.

“Can I give you a ride home? It’s the least I can do to make up it up to you.” Sooyoung shakes her head, “I’d rather not die tonight.” Jinsoul rolls her eyes but smiles. It fills Sooyoung up with a warmth that she can’t describe. This was all weird. This was the most they’ve talked in years and Sooyoung hasn’t felt this light in forever despite having a busted up face. She knew she was weird. None of this was affecting her.

Sooyoung should be angry at Jinsoul. She should hate her even more, but she didn’t. If anything she hated her less because this the most real she’s seen Jinsoul in years. She knows it’s not going to be there tomorrow, this raw emotion. Jinsoul will go back to ignoring her and Sooyoung will continue to be an ass despite her coach telling her otherwise. They would make it work though, they were both too stubborn to fail. So from now on, it was just them tolerating each other.

Jinsoul steps closer feeling awkward from the silence. “Please, it’ll be dark soon.” She wonders if her sister has left already. Digging through her bag she pulls out her phone and reads the texts. Hyunjin didn’t go home but she had gone out with her friend. Leaving Sooyoung alone and without a choice but to either take the bus or ride in Jinsoul’s fancy car. “I’ll take the bus it’s fine.” Sooyoung deep down hopes Jinsoul asks her one more time. Begs her too and maybe then she’ll say yes but the blonde doesn’t. 

With a tired sigh, Sooyoung hears the blonde walk off finally leaving her in peace. Turning around she watches how slumped Jinsoul’s shoulders are and how her duffle bag barely hangs on to her body. Shaking her head she turns to watch the ocean more. Maybe one day she’ll find her next moon to push and pull her. But for now, she was just a still body of water. 

The only motions that she had were from the ripples that were caused by Jinsoul’s tears.

…

When she makes it home after a pretty horrible bus ride, people staring at her, some asking her if she needs to go to the doctor and even one man telling her she’s _hot_ in a _badass_ kinda way, she steps into the door ready to go to bed and forget about today. 

About to go up the stairs and shower there’s a loud noise coming from the living room, “SOOYOUNG!” She could ignore her grandma or she could get the babying she’s wanted all evening. Crawling towards the room she smiles when she spots her Granma watching jeopardy with a notepad in hand, probably keeping up with some figurative score. 

Sooyoung goes to the recliner where her Granma lays and stands in front of her. The woman is about to make her get out of the way until she spots her bruising face. “Jesus Crist Soo did you run into the bus?” Sooyoung shakes her head and squeezes in beside the woman who had scooted over. The recliner was three times the size of the tiny woman so Sooyoung had plenty of room to fit.

Maybe she could fall asleep like this. Her Granma was patting her on the head while nagging at her for being clumsy. The woman really thought she had face planted somewhere. Sooyoung sighs out as she turns to the T.V, “I got in a fight actually.” Her Granma raises up in the seat and gives her a funny look, scanning her face for any lies, “and you let them beat ya ass!” Sooyoung groans and goes to get up from the chair. So much for getting some affection from her loving elder.

She’s pulled back down by her wrist, “I didn’t raise no pussy tell me they look just as bad as you do.” Sooyoung regrets telling the truth now. “I didn’t fight back.”

“YOU WHAT?” Covering her ear with a hand and cringing from the screeching noise she shrugs her shoulder at her Granma. “So you just let this person lay the smack on you without defending yourself.” If there was anyone that could make her feel guilty it was this woman. She was starting to regret everything that she’d done today. Maybe she should have listened to Chae and kept her mouth shut. “I was being a jerk and they just ya know.” 

Her Granma then pushes her out of the chair, making Sooyoung fall over onto the floor. “You’re out here acting like a punk and getting your ass kicked for it.” Sooyoung stands back up and watches her Granma shake her head in disappointment. The woman then points in some obscene direction and she knows that it’s her bedtime. Feeling even worse than before she makes her way up the stairs slowly just wanting for this day to be over.

Opening the door to her room she gives a quick glance to Hyunjin’s side which was surprisingly empty. She must be staying the night at Heejin’s…again. Sooyoung peels her clothes off one by one before grabbing a towel that was lying on the floor. She guesses she could just wash off and start studying maybe then the memory of today would stop playing over and over again.

Sooyoung moves into the bathroom and closes the door behind her resting her head on it. She hears some shuffling so she quickly opens her eyes. Her twin sisters have their dog Haneul dyed purple and there’s hair dye everywhere. Sooyoung is about to kick their asses before the dog starts running around the bathroom leaving purple paw prints all over the tile floor. 

Sooyoung has to jump on top of the toilet to avoid the dog and starts yelling at Hyejoo to pick the damn thing up, “get the fucking dog before it gets purple on me!” Yerim is the one that picks it up and holds it up from her. The small dog wiggles around clearly distressed. “Please get him clean before mom sees him.” Yerim nods at her and sits him in the bath. The girl kneels at the tub and Hyejoo joins her in the effort to scrub Haneul clean.

Sitting down on the toilet seat waiting for the girls to get done. That’s when it all hits her suddenly. The feeling that she should have had earlier when Jinsoul was crying on top of her. When Jinsoul apologized to her. When her nose was pouring out blood and her head was throbbing. The sad smile she gave Sooyoung on the beach. Sooyoung doesn’t even realize she’s crying until her sister’s turn to her. Yerim is the first one to speak out, “it’s not that serious.” 

Sooyoung cries harder and buries her broken face in her hands. It wasn’t that serious but why did it feel like the worst thing in the world. She screamed at Jinsoul. She made her feel like she was nothing when Jinsoul was everything. No wonder the blonde hates her. Her Granma was right she was a punk but how could she turn it around. “God she’s so dramatic…look it’s coming off.” 

It was Hyejoo’s voice this time and that’s when Sooyoung realizes that they’re talking about the dog, not about her broken face. “Aren’t you guys going to ask if I’m okay?” Yerim turns and informs her that Hyunjin had already told them the situation and that she deserved it.

Sooyoung lets her mouth drop as Hyejoo narrows her eyes at her. She couldn’t win, could she? Sniffling her nose she concludes that she’ll just avoid Jinsoul at all costs and that would be the only way she could resist being mean to the girl. At practice she wouldn’t speak a word to the girl, wouldn’t spare her a glance. That should be easy enough right? Laughing at herself it makes her sisters give her a funny look. Like she was someone crazy.

Who was she kidding? Nice or not she’ll never be able to leave Jinsoul alone. Until the girl pushed her away, she got a taste of what that would be like today.

And she hated every second of it.

… 

Walking through the hospital she gets a horrible feeling in her stomach. Bad things happen here…like people and dying and stuff. Sooyoung would rather not be in here. The temperature is too cold and the smell is too clean. There’s a crying family off to the corner and Sooyoung can’t help but want to go and comfort them. Hospitals we’re definitely portals to hell, Sooyoung just has a hunch that they are.

Going up to the front desk she politely asks where Kim Jungeun is. The nurse smiles and checks her desktop. Sooyoung waits patiently whistling into the weird silence. “Ma’am you’re on the wrong floor go down one and go to room two forty-eight and that’s where your friend should be.” Sooyoung thanks her with a smile and starts to walk off and to the stairs.

Just when she was about to get to the door the emergency elevator opens up and there’s a group of doctors with some bloodied up girl on the stretcher. They’re screaming incoherent things to each other. Ah doctor language, she’s sure Jinsoul would understand it. Shaking her head from the image of the injured woman she makes her way down the steps and through the hallways. 

Soon enough she’s in the room where Jungeun is supposed to be in and walks in. The door was shut and she didn’t think anything of it bursting in and walking to the bed. Sooyoung recalls that Jiwoo wasn’t hurt so why was she…oh. Freezing in her tracks she takes in the site of her old fling on top of Jungeun. Making out pretty passionately. Sooyoung covers her mouth to hide the smile and her eyes go wide. 

Figuring that she shouldn’t keep watching when Jungeun grabs the girl’s ass making her moan she steps a little closer. Clearing her throat, Jungeun opens her eyes and pushes Jiwoo away, the girl falls backward and lands on Jungeun legs and the ash-blonde starts to scream out. “Fuck the knee Jiwoo my knee!” Her girlfriend crawls off her and pulls her skirt down quickly from where it was pushed up for Jungeun to have access to the assets.

Jungeun is heavily breathing and the auburn-haired girl is flushed red awkwardly laughing. Sooyoung smiles and pulls up a chair, “did I interrupt something?” Jungeun narrows her eyes and launches forward but Sooyoung only backs away and laughs when her teammate can’t reach her. The ash-blonde stops her assault once she sees the patches and bruises on her face raising a brow. “Man you look like shit, Jinsoul really did beat your ass.” 

Sooyoung groans and throws her head back. Apparently, everyone knew that Jinsoul had a mean right hook. “Sorry, Jiwoo told me.” Sooyoung had forgotten the girl had even existed and gives a short look to the girl. Jiwoo blushes and whispers something to the girl in the bed before scurrying out of the room. They watch her walk off and once the door is closed Sooyoung turns to Jungeun. “You fucking asshole I told you I didn’t want to play with her.”

Jungeun only laughs, Sooyoung has never seen the girl be this loose. She was usually uptight and her face barely moved unless she was pissed. Sooyoung swears she’s seen about fifteen different expressions on her face. “It’s true I begged coach to put you two together.” Sooyoung squirms in her seat at Jungeun’s stare. The girl was weird, she was almost psychic or something. Or maybe she was just observable. “I couldn’t be on the bench bored as fuck, I have to have some entertainment this summer.” Standing up Sooyoung aims for her knee. She’s never heard the girl cry that much. Annoyed with all the whining she sits back down before sighing. “Whatever you betrayed me.” 

Jungeun chuckles and reaches out to her. Sooyoung is skeptical at first at the fist being held out to her but soon smiles to raises her own hand to bump it. Jungeun acts lik3 she did it too hard making Sooyoung smile more. Maybe Jungeun wasn’t so bad after all. Sooyoung could consider her a friend she guesses. They have played together for a couple of years now.

The girl had similar humor to her and didn’t mind mean jokes since she wasn’t sensitive. Smiling she starts to see the girl in a new light, “So Kim, how’s the knee.” The ash-blonde screams out a little, being overdramatic. Scratching her head she answers Sooyoung with a sad tone, “fucking sucks that I can’t play but hey what can I do.” Sooyoung nods giving her a sympathetic smile and an apology.

Jungeun waves her off, “you don’t have to apologize to me, actually I should apologize to you for putting all the pressure on you.” Sooyoung hates how the girl feels bad for leaving her without a partner. It’s not her fault that her knee got twisted and now Sooyoung was stuck with her arch-nemesis/obsession. 

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” Jungeun smiles at her and goes to rub at her head. Sooyoung just pushes her off playfully. This was nice, being friendly wasn’t so bad since she was having a good interaction with Kim Jungeun, a pretty hard nut to crack. “Wow that was a surprisingly nice thing to say coming from you.” 

Sooyoung lifts her arms up in a shrug, “what can I say, I have my moments.” Jungeun rolls her eyes and then the conversation goes stale. The only sound in the room is the iv drip.

She rubs at her face wincing since she forgot how battered it was. “Hey Sooyoung?” Looking up from the super clean floor she stares into Jungeun’s eyes. The girl had a curious glint in them. Sooyoung blows out air forehead to push out the nerves that were forming. Melting in her seat she jerks her head up to let the girl know she’s listening. 

Jungeun crosses her arms, “how come you treat Jinsoul that way?” What a question. Sooyoung closes her eyes. Sooyoung could tell her the truth. But Jungeun would look at Jinsoul differently and she knew the younger girl seen Jinsoul as some role model. She didn’t want Jungeun to dislike Jinsoul. She didn’t want anyone to dislike Jinsoul.

Except for her. She was the only one allowed to hate the girl. That was how she was special to Jinsoul. The blonde would never forget about Sooyoung in that way. She’d always be remembered as the girl had a special relationship with Jinsoul, they hated each other. No one else had that with Jinsoul. So Sooyoung came up with an excuse to tell Jungeun. “She’s perfect”

Blinking her eyes and looking off into the distance she puts a little drama to her words, “And I hate perfection.” Jungeun stares at her with narrowed eyes before bursting out in laughter. Sooyoung joins in on the laughter as well. “God, you’re so edgy oooh.” Jungeun mocks her while Sooyoung gives her the finger. Getting the giggles out she answers Jungeun with something more believable. “I don’t know she gets on my nerves.”

Jungeun makes a funny facial expression scrunching one eye closed as she looks up to the ceiling, “hmm I don’t buy it one bit. I think there’s something more.” Sooyoung was right about Jungeun. She was either psychic or observant. “And what is something more.” Leaning further back into her chair she crosses arms waiting for the Jungeun’s analyzation. 

“I already know you have a thing for her.” 

“Do not.”

“I think that maybe she rejected you once upon a time.” 

Sooyoung heart clenches at the word rejection. Jinsoul didn’t really reject her directly. But still it hit pretty close to home and she only hopes she can hide her sadness from Jungeun’s overly sensitive eyes. “Am I right or wrong?” The girl asks her slowly. No she’s wrong. It goes deeper than that.

“Wrong.” Jungeun pouts and lays back in her bed and it seems like Sooyoung has fooled her for now. “I’m not that petty.” Jungeun nods and agrees. How shitty would Sooyoung look if she treated Jinsoul like this if she only rejected her advances? No they definitely wouldn’t have this much tension between each other. “Well whatever it is you should probably let it go.” 

Yes, let everything go. That wasn’t even the hard part. Sooyoung had gotten so used to shit talking Jinsoul it was a part of her daily life now. How was she just going to start being nice to Jinsoul? She gives Jungeun a lazy thumbs up. Jiwoo comes in with a few butterscotch puddings. The girl hands one to Sooyoung and one to the injured in the bed. If there was anything good about hospital’s it was the butterscotch puddings. 

Sooyoung thinks that she’ll probably strangle the two across from her since the way they eat pudding is disgusting. Jungeun slurps on it while her girlfriend chews on it…who chews on pudding? Thinking of nice things to try and fight the urge of being an ass to the two she’s successful. She thought of Haneul and then her Granma, sometimes Yerim. And surprisingly she thinks of Jinsoul’s smile. The sad one from days ago. 

Jiwoo burps and giggles once she’s done with her pudding. Jungeun gushes at the girl and reaches forward to pinch at her cheek. Sooyoung shudders, they were perfect for each other and it was a little gross. The redhead takes up their finished cups and throws them in the trash before waddling back over. Sooyoung figures she should probably head out to give the two _alone time_ but Jiwoo starts to talk to her, “So I talked to Jinsoul.” 

Sooyoung tilts her head, she wonders just what that had to do with her. “She still feels really bad about your face.” She laughs and waves the girl off. Jinsoul should forget about it. This wasn’t some big deal. Just a little fight between two girls. “No like…really bad yesterday she was panicking out.” Her ears perk up at that so she leans a bit forward to give all her attention to Jiwoo.

Jiwoo swirls her hands around and Sooyoung listens closely for anything important. She mostly rambles on about how Jinsoul was upset and still couldn’t believe she lost her temper like that. Sooyoung nods at every word and Jungeun pays attention to her reaction, Sooyoung doesn’t catch the way her friend's eyes narrow at the small blush that crawls on Sooyoung’s neck when Jiwoo admits that Jinsoul wishes Sooyoung liked her. 

“She said she wants to make it up to you. I don’t know why though personally I think you deserved it.” Sooyoung got a thrill out of Jinsoul worrying about her so much. Maybe she didn’t regret pushing the blonde to her limits. She had her utmost attention now and was loving every second of it. Here she was talking about _her_ to other people. How she wishes she could make it up to her. Sooyoung thinks of many ways Jinsoul could make it up to her. 

Something appropriate like maybe a new watch or just a free lunch. Then maybe Sooyoung could show Jinsoul how nice she could really be. Or they could just cut to the chase and go for round two in Jinsoul’s bedroom with something else getting pounded rather than Sooyoung’s face. Specifically something of Jinsoul’s. Her heart rate starts to pick up just by thinking of the blonde. God she really still has it bad for Jinsoul.

Sooyoung keeps her cool though, “I did deserve it so you can tell her it’s okay she already apologized like too many times.” Jiwoo looks shocked from her mature response and nods her head. “That’s what I said!” Sooyoung only shrugs her shoulders. Jinsoul needed to toughing up. You don’t cry and apologize after you beat someone’s ass you puff your chest up in pride. 

What Jiwoo says next, changes everything, “I think she has a thing for you though that’s why she's so torn up about this.” Sooyoung’s eyes go wide and Jungeun smiles widely looking between the two.

Sooyoung is flushing red and Jiwoo is confused by her girlfriend’s weird reaction. “I mean all she does is talk about you. It would be kinda cute if you weren’t such a bitch.” Jungeun is laughing like a maniac while Sooyoung rethinks her life decisions. Jinsoul having a thing for her? She was sure she never crossed the girl’s mind at all. And she was sure the girl was straight. Like not even a little bit of a curve. Sooyoung shakes her of the wishful thoughts and reminds herself that it’s probably nothing. “No I think you’ve got it wrong Jinsoul doesn’t even like me as a person. She hates me.” Jiwoo gives her a sad look and so does Jungeun…weird.

It’s a common thing, Sooyoung convincing herself that she and Jinsoul would never happen in a million years.

After Jiwoo’s little spout they talk about finals, about their plans for the summer. And well about volleyball. They talked about the competition and the couple gave Sooyoung some helpful criticism. Sooyoung checks her watch and lets her shoulders slump when she sees it’s time to go to her shift at the diner. Standing up she gives Jungeun another fist bump, “you’ll be out soon right?” 

Jungeun nods and tells her she’ll be out in a few days to do her finals and probably start sitting in on the practices. Before Sooyoung walks off the girl calls after her once more, “hey Sooyoung!” She liked away that Jungeun said her name. It reminded her of her sister Yerim. It was noisy, “yeah soot head?”

“Thanks for coming.” Sooyoung grabs the door handle.

“It was really nice of you.”

…

Practice had been canceled for the past few days. Due mostly to the weather since they were bad thunderstorms and some because well the team was still shaken from Sooyoung and Jinsoul’s feud. Finals were here too but Sooyoung had only one left. Calculus was probably the worst thing Sooyoung had ever experienced and even though she had studied every night for multiple hours she still couldn’t get it.

Sooyoung wasn’t _that_ smart but she was a hard worker. Most classes came easy to her. Because after a considerable amount of work and tutoring she’d land an A and a simple understanding to it. Although that didn’t always work. Some classes were way too difficult and not even with all the work and studying Sooyoung found herself failing every exam and the only thing keeping her passing was participation grades. 

Although her grades were beginning to break, her nose was now better and only bruised. It was still pretty sore and the doctor said it was a minor break and could heal on it's on its own. Still she wishes she could have slapped a medical bill in Jinsoul’s face. 

Redoing a problem for the seventh time she groans when she gets the wrong answer. Math just wasn’t her strong suit. If this was a dance final she could rock its shit but unfortunately, the only dancing she was doing was the tango with her calculator. 

The calculator is making beeping noises as she furiously taps into it. Trying to see where she went wrong. She’s so focused on the thing she doesn’t notice the human calculator softly giggling at her frustration. Sooyoung freezes when she hears laughing behind her and jerks around to cuss out the moron who was making fun of her. Her protest dies in her throat when she realizes it’s Jinsoul, smiling at her, and it’s not a sad smile this time.

Sooyoung swallows an extra-large lump in her throat when the girl pushes some of her blonde her behind a cute ear. Jinsoul leans over making her hair fall over her shoulders and points at the chair beside her, “mind if I sit here?” Sooyoung takes about five seconds to come up with a decision. _You hate her remember_? _You said you’d leave her alone right_? “I’d much rather you leave me alone.” Jinsoul’s small smile quickly turns into a frown.

The girl thinks that Jinsoul will huff and walk away. What she always does. Ignoring her and pretending she didn’t exist. But Jinsoul does the opposite, she’s very aware that Sooyoung exists and proves her wrong by groaning and pulling the chair out to sit anyways. “I don’t care I’m sitting here whether you like it or not.” Sooyoung raises a brow and can’t help but smirk at the reaction. Jinsoul’s ears are red and her eyebrows are knit in annoyance. Jinsoul never talked back to her she usually just frowned and stayed silent.

It left her tummy in millions of knots. This was something new for her and it was very similar to feeling she had to whenever she’d spend too long staring at Jinsoul. Sooyoung leans back in her seat and watches the blonde take out her notes and such with a bit of an attitude. The notepad was slammed down and the textbook was flopped out, a pen was clicked at least ten times before Jinsoul sits it down. Sooyoung smiled harder at all the huffs of air coming out the blonde’s mouth.

Jinsoul had light makeup on and some round specs on. Her hair had a small blue clip in it to keep the loose strands in place. Sooyoung was close to spazzing out from how cute she looked. Jinsoul instantly went to work spacing her out, so Sooyoung definitely took the opportunity to gawk. To her brows turned upwards in concentration, the way her long eyelashes fluttered as she scanned the words from the textbook. The glasses sat on her nose and full cheeks and Sooyoung desperately wanted to squish them in her hands. The blonde was nursing her bottom lip in between her teeth, Sooyoung thought how she’d like it between own. Moving down she appreciates the curve of the girl’s jawline and then takes in her outfit. 

Jung Jinsoul was not a fashionista in any sense. Some days she’d come to school in lemon pants and a cartoon shirt. Some days she was wearing a normal outfit. Like shorts and a striped shirt…that was most days and Sooyoung started to wonder how many of those kinds of shirts Jinsoul had. But somedays she would dress pretty professional. Like today, the girl had a lite grey blazer and skirt on but of course she had to throw in a little color by wearing a baby blue button-up with small rubber ducks on it. 

Sooyoung wondered if she got that shirt in the kids section of the store. Suddenly she gets an idea once she spots the small heels, “Oh no Jinsnot you’re going to be late!” She looks at Sooyoung who is gasping at her watch. Jinsoul goes to see what time it is but Sooyoung jerks her wrist away, she stifles a laugh at the blonde’s confused look. “You better head to the station or you’re going to be late for the broadcast!” 

The older of the two thought it was hilarious since Jinsoul did look like the local meteorologist but the blonde wasn’t amused. “Sooyoung that was like an old person joke it wasn’t funny.” The laughing cuts short as Sooyoung feigns offense. Leaning forward she starts to pluck at Jinsoul’s clothes, “come on Diane Sawyer it was a little funny.” Jinsoul slaps her hand off every time she shuffles a piece of the fabric.

Sooyoung hates that her jokes didn’t land so she tries again, “Hmm the ducks kinda gives me more Ms. Frizzle though.” Jinsoul snorts at that one and Sooyoung internally celebrates. Sooyoung must have been leaning in too closely because Jinsoul pushes her away and tries to calm herself down by taking a deep breath before going back to work. Sooyoung watches her scribble down things and slowly starts to get closer again. Jinsoul groans and looks up from the paper and into her eyes. Sooyoung only raises both of her brows pretending she’s clueless of how annoying she’s being. 

“Can you let me study?” Sooyoung shrugs, “I’m not doing anything.” Jinsoul flares her nostrils as Sooyoung leans over further lowering herself so the blonde looks down on her. Sooyoung likes looking at Jinsoul this way. The blonde’s eyes seem to sparkle as they continue to have their little stare down and Sooyoung can’t help but let a small smile grow on her face. Until Jinsoul pushes her face away, inevitably shoving her nose in the process. Sooyoung cradles her face in pain as Jinsoul gasps realizing what she’s done.

Soft hands grab at her own and she pushes them away, pissed at the sudden throbs in her head from her injured nose. “Ow you fucking dickhead that hurt!” Sooyoung glares at Jinsoul who is already teary eyed. Her lip is quivering and her hands are still wavering out into the air, Sooyoung wonders what Jinsoul wants to do so she lets her guard down and Jinsoul instantly reaches for her face. Sooyoung slaps the hands away, “stop touching me weirdo.”

Jinsoul sniffles, Sooyoung can’t believe her eyes as the crybaby starts to shed tears in front of her. Mumbled apologies and choked out wheezes instantly get on her nerves so she guesses she can be nice for once. Grabbing Jinsoul’s hands she places them back on her face where the blonde seemed to want them and Sooyoung blushes as a thumb starts to rub at her cheek. “I’m so sorry…how is it.”

Wincing when Jinsoul pokes at it she throws the hands back off of her. Why did Jinsoul want to hold her face anyways? The blonde seems to be upset at the fact that she’s no longer pressing at Sooyoung’s cheeks and sadly looks to the floor. Sooyoung is confused at the whole exchange and leans back to cross her arms. She wasn’t used to hanging around Jinsoul and she was totally not used to the blonde’s affection. It made her heart race way too quickly.

Shrugging she continues to glare at the blonde for her now throbbing nose. “Besides not being able to breathe and being reminded of how much an animal you are when I look into a mirror it’s fine.” Jinsoul raises her head at that and wipes at her tears. The reason she called Jinsoul ‘ _Jinsnot’_ is because the girl cried too damn much. It seemed to happen more often around Sooyoung. “I’m sorry.”

“God stop apologizing it’s so annoying! I get it you feel terrible for wrecking my sexy face and showing everyone that you’re a feral beast but it’s okay it’s over.” Jinsoul groans and turns around to drop her head on the table. It shakes and Sooyoung jumps at the impact and just stares at the blonde. After a considerable amount of minutes, she goes to nudge at her shoulder only for her hand to get slapped away. Jinsoul suddenly surges up and faces Sooyoung again much angrier with a red spot on her forehead.

Jinsoul starts to poke in her chest spitting out words that make Sooyoung grimace, “I’m glad I broke your nose…but not that bad because your nose is really cute and I would hate if I made it crooked.” Jinsoul blushes and Sooyoung just stares into the walls of books. She…did Jinsoul just say her nose was cute? Really cute? Shaking her head she pretends to not hear that last part, “you’re so moody Jesus.” 

The blonde who was blood red from embarrassment goes back to being angry just like that, “because of you! You’re the one that brings it out because you’re so…” Sooyoung leans forward getting right in Jinsoul’s face. “Because I’m so what Jinsoul?” Sooyoung keeps her eyes on Jinsoul’s and deep down, her desires come out to play when the blonde’s dark eyes travel down her face and onto her lips. Sooyoung makes sure to lick them a little to captivate the blonde a little more. 

Sooyoung hears her swallow and smiles in victory and that seems to stir up Jinsoul even more. Dark eyes meet her own once more but they’re determined this time, “stupid.” Sooyoung bursts out in laughter and has to scoot away from Jinsoul for the clap back. “Wow, Jinsoul you really got me with that one.” She pretends that her heart is broken but really it’s full. The library was starting to get a little hotter from all this arguing they were doing.

She considered it more of play-fighting than anything. It wasn’t really that serious. The only thing that was serious was how turned on Sooyoung wasn’t getting from all this. Jinsoul biting back was bringing her to a whole new level. Squirming in her seat she brings her face back to Jinsoul’s and the blonde doesn’t move a muscle although Sooyoung can see the sweat starting to form on the blonde’s brow. “I’m stupid?” Jinsoul nods and gasps when Sooyoung brings her arms to each side of her.

Jinsoul starts to lean back when Sooyoung places one of her hands on the chair and the other on the back of it. She had trapped Jinsoul and pulled the blonde closer by scooting her chair. “But you just said my nose was cute? Why are you being mean now?” Jinsoul's breathing hitches again and Sooyoung stares into darkening eyes. She guesses she can let her gaze fall down to parted lips that look so appetizing with the tinted ChapStick. Sooyoung wonders if it’s flavored.

When she looks back up, Jinsoul is breathing slightly heavier to where it’s barely noticeable, the blonde scratching at her skirt makes a small noise that fades out into the background. Her charm never seemed to fail with anyone. Even with the people that hate her the most. Sooyoung doesn’t want to ruin her panties since it’s embarrassing how she’s already getting this wet just by staring at Jinsoul’s lips and feeling how hot her breathe is, so she grabs Jinsoul’s note pad and starts to rip through it. Jinsoul takes a second to react and goes to grab the notebook out of Sooyoung’s hand. She just stretches it out of Jinsoul’s reach making the blonde lean over top of her. 

Sooyoung has bite back a groan when Jinsoul comes so close the girl has to prop her knee on Sooyoung’s chair. If Jinsoul were to sit down right now she would be straddling one of her thighs and Sooyoung doesn’t know if she’d be able to handle it. Her body is screaming for her to pull Jinsoul down on top of her so she can see if the girl is getting turned on by this just as much as she was but she knows it’s just a far-fetched fantasy. Jinsoul would never be attracted to her in that way. 

If anything that little moment they had a bit ago probably freaked Jinsoul out. She had to remind herself. They hated each other right? She stares at Jinsoul’s collar bones and at the small necklace dangling from them. There’s a tiny mole right beneath her right one and Sooyoung remembers how she used to rub her thumb across it. Suddenly Jinsoul being this close is too much as the memories start to flood in so Sooyoung has to make a quick escape.

Sooyoung stands up almost knocking Jinsoul down. Sooyoung starts to skip around the table while Jinsoul frantically chases after her. She wonders what could be in this notebook that’s making Jinsoul freak out. Flipping through the pages Jinsoul tries to grab it but Sooyoung keeps a hand out to keep her at bay. Once she finds a page full of hearts she stops, but it’s ripped out of her hands.

Jinsoul goes back to sit in her chair. Sooyoung is faster though and sprints over to pull it out from underneath her. Jinsoul falls to her ass and screams reaching over to grab at Sooyoung’s leg but Sooyoung is quick and scurries back over to her chair. Jinsoul is giving her a death glare as she stands up and that’s when Sooyoung realizes she’s been laughing the whole time. There was something so fun about picking on Jinsoul.

Maybe it was how cute she looked when flustered or maybe how it was hot the way her voice got deeper as she yelled at Sooyoung. Maybe it’s because Sooyoung didn’t hate her as much as she said she did. 

Jinsoul just sits down and slams her notebook on the table. Sooyoung is a little scared from how pissed she looks. It’s just as the bad she got her nose busted. Slowly she makes her way to her own chair and sits down. Sooyoung doesn’t know what to do and just stares at the girl on her side. Suddenly Jinsoul reacts and pushes her over aggressively and Sooyoung flips out of the chair kicking the table in the process. Papers go flying everywhere.

Sooyoung laughs out loud and so does Jinsoul. Sooyoung doesn’t know why she’s laughing so hard but tears come out of her eyes. Looking up at Jinsoul the blonde is covering her mouth trying to hide the fact that she’s laughing. Soon it’s over when the librarian comes over and tries to kick them out. But Jinsoul stands up and apologizes to the woman and bows. The old lady seems convinced and leaves them alone for now. 

Kneeling up Sooyoung starts to collect the papers from the floor and picks up the chair that Jinsoul knocked over. Glancing up she feels every hair on the back of her neck stand up and every nerve tingle. Jinsoul opted out on just bending over to collect her things and Sooyoung was sure she was gonna start drooling if she stared any longer. 

Jinsoul bends over even more making the skirt lift up. Thank god it wasn’t tight or Sooyoung wouldn’t be able to control herself, cutting the study time short to run home and take a cold shower. Continuing to gawk she accidentally groans out, “goddamn that’s…” such a nice skirt Sooyoung thinks. Yes, Sooyoung thinks that Jinsoul has a very nice skirt, and within that skirt, there’s a very nice ass. Jinsoul turns around and Sooyoung jerks her gaze back down to the floor. “What is it?”

Sooyoung nervously laughs and just mumbles out something, “Oh nothing just a paper cut.” 

“Really? Let me see.” Sooyoung panics, what was Jinsoul going to think if she didn’t have a paper cut. Quickly she slices her finger open with a piece of paper and winces. Jinsoul is currently digging through her bag so Sooyoung rounds up the rest of the falling papers and lays them on the desk before sitting down.

Jinsoul sits down and holds up a Scooby Doo band-aid and jerks her head down to get Sooyoung to lift her finger. Sooyoung does and lets Jinsoul patch her up, it’s nice. For Jinsoul to show a small amount of care, “I can’t stand you Sooyoung.” She barely catches it and continues to stare at her now iced out finger. 

_I can’t stand you either Jinsoul._

Sooyoung sighs, “Then you shouldn’t have sat here.” Jinsoul pushes her hand away and looks her in the eyes before going back to her textbooks. 

“I thought you would be mature since I beat your ass but it seems like you’ll never change.” Sooyoung frowns at this remark. It stung. Only a little though. Thinking that maybe she should stop bothering Jinsoul so much she turns to her own work. Seconds of silence turns to minutes and minutes turn to an hour. They’re actually studying this time but Sooyoung can’t stop thinking about Jinsoul’s words. She’d never change? Did Jinsoul want her to change? She had already changed once because of her and now the blonde wants her to do it again. 

Jinsoul seems to notice her frustration but only thinks it’s the math she’s trying to do. The blonde leans over and it snaps Sooyoung out of the tiny war that was going on in her head. “Do you need help?” Sooyoung shrugs and rests her head on her hand before pushing her notes over to Jinsoul. She doesn’t even try to pay attention to the blonde’s words.

She thinks about the last hour or so. How Jinsoul just magically appeared and talked to her. How the girl was playing along with her like they were friends or something. She and Jinsoul would never be friends though, would they? So why was the blonde acting like this around her, when they’ve barely spoken a word to each other in the past several years? Jinsoul didn’t like talking to her she didn’t like being around her so why now?

“Why are being nice to me today?” 

Jinsoul pauses in her explanation. Sooyoung sees the hesitation in her features. And that’s when it all comes crashing. This high feeling that Sooyoung was getting from just being around Jinsoul. Seeing the girl laugh and smile at her. When she decided to be more playful with the blonde than rude. She should have never let Jinsoul sit down. This is what happens when you’re not a dick to people, they take advantage of you. 

“I…because I have to.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes. What kinda explanation was that. “But you don’t have to.” 

“I do.” Sooyoung watches the girl break and so does she. “For our coach and the team.” Right. Jinsoul was only playing into her fantasy of them actually getting along because she _had_ to. Not because she _wanted_ to. It was too weird for them to be hanging out like this. It was out of the norm for both them and while Sooyoung actually enjoyed it, actually wanted this, Jinsoul only did it because she felt like she had to. 

She wanted Jinsoul. She wanted to stop being so mean to her. But how could she when the blonde constantly disappointed her like this. When Jinsoul would never like her no matter what she was like. She would always act this way around her because she _had_ to. The only reason why she was mean to Jinsoul is because it evoked something real out of the girl. But even now that was starting to become blurred. What if she'd never be close to Jinsoul again even as enemies?

Did Jinsoul hate her? Or did she even give a shit about her? Sooyoung didn’t know which was worst.

“So not because you wanted to but because Coach V told you to.” Jinsoul doesn’t answer. Only hanging her head in shame. “From now on leave me alone Jinsoul.” She goes to grab her books from the blonde’s hands but they’re in a tight grip. Sooyoung lets out an exhausted sigh, “it’s okay at least you’re trying, it’s not like I actually deserve your kindness.” 

Her books are hard to jerk out of Jinsoul’s hands but finally, they’re set loose and Sooyoung quickly packs up, “I promise I won’t cause problems anymore. You don’t have to force yourself to be nice to me, I'm not a good person.”

Sooyoung lifts her bag onto her shoulders, “You don’t have to pretend. I know you hate me. But today was nice kinda. It made me think we could actually be friends.” Sooyoung would always be an ass to Jinsoul and Jinsoul would always be a shadow to Sooyoung. She’d never reach the real Jinsoul who was high above in the clouds while she was stuck on earth. 

Walking off she thinks, maybe things won’t ever change. Even though today even though it wasn’t the best, it still allowed Sooyoung to taste how sweet it could really be. The way she feels about Jinsoul will never change. Things would always be this way though. Every step they take forward, they would just end up three steps back. No matter how big of a step forward they take. 

Back in the library, Jinsoul has her fists clenched still. Today _was_ nice. It was so fun being carefree with somebody that she’s missed. Just a small moment of them forgetting that they’re supposed to hate each other, a small moment of forgetting who they were and what had happened in the past. Because Ha Sooyoung wasn’t holding her typical grudge against her in. 

Her insults were playful and meaningless, Jinsoul knew by the small smile on her face. The one she hasn’t seen in years. It’s the one that’s not mocking or full of disappointment. But genuine happiness. It let Jinsoul have her own go. And in the first time in years, she felt good. Sooyoung always made her feel good. 

When she was not pissed at her that is. But Sooyoung was always pissed at her. No matter what. It would never change. Sooyoung would always hate her. 

She thought today could be the change in that. For them to start moving on. That would never happen though would it.

_I can’t stand you Ha Sooyoung._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes I feel like I don’t make sense so I hope this makes sense? Hmm…anyways Jinsoul and Yves definitely have a past obviously. But now to the real plot hehe now that it's started. That’s all goodbye :D XOXO


	3. Why can’t we be friends?

She couldn’t see anything for miles. Sooyoung couldn’t turn around to see what was behind her but in front of her was the biggest body of water on earth and beside her was nothing but a deserted beach. Looking down she watches as the crystal clear water washes up onto her feet. The ocean is usually warm but right now it was ice cold.

Sooyoung couldn’t move, so she stood there and stared at the water. She feels another chill. This time it’s on her neck. Someone was behind her. “I’m not your fantasy.” The voice is recognizable enough. It’s Sooyoung’s favorite voice despite her telling everyone it’s the most annoying one she’s ever heard. “I’ll never be the girl you want me to be.”

Hands slide across her torso and lips glide across her skin. Making the hairs stand on the back of her neck. The chill bumps invading every inch of her skin. “Let’s leave this all behind.” 

Sooyoung isn’t in the sun anymore. She’s deep in the water and she keeps sinking like there was an anchor attached to her ankle. Surprisingly she’s not drowning but it only keeps getting darker as she falls. The darkness was always way scarier. 

_Sooyoung_

Someone screams her name. 

“YO SOOYOUNG!” Jerking up she frantically looks around. Sighing out in relief that she’s just in her room and not at the bottom of the ocean she lays back down. The same voice mumbles out, “Is this bitch for real.” Sooyoung ignores it and snuggles back into her blankets. Hopefully, her recurring nightmare would not return and she could get a nice, long- “I’m giving you five seconds to get up.”

Turning around she opens her eyes. Chaewon is standing over her bed shaking with anger. “What the fuck do you want gremlin.” Holding up her phone the girl shows Sooyoung all the texts she had sent her. Hours ago, Chaewon must have sent her twenty-something of the texts. 

The phone goes back down and Sooyoung smiles. She felt a little guilty but what could she do? She was sleeping she couldn’t help that she hadn’t seen the texts. “We are supposed to smoke? Remember?” Sooyoung lets out a stupid sound in realization. Maybe she had forgotten about the whole plan and now her friend was about to beat her ass. 

“Sorry Chaehuahua I was sleeping.” Sooyoung gives the girl a pout and opens her arms up for a hug. Chaewon only rolls her eyes and grabs onto the hands pulling the still half-asleep athlete up. Sooyoung then notices the other girls in the room. Well her sister and her ‘friend’ Heejin. They were lounging on Hyunjin’s bed with an assortment of snacks laying across it. It was sickening how her sister was being hand fed by the other girl.

Nudging her friend she points at the two, receiving a glare from her sister, “get a load of this.” Heejin blushes and looks away shyly while her sister raises up a little and starts to give Sooyoung that warning stare. The one that says, _shut up or I’ll kill you_. Sooyoung has never been a pussy though so she points at Heejin getting the girl’s attention. 

Sooyoung snorts and throws one arm around Chaewon’s shoulder who is starting to giggle as well. “You know, Heejin, she used to bark at the neighbors, she really thought she was a dog to the point where mom had to sit her down and talk to her.” Hyunjin doesn’t say a word and the girl beside her seems to focus on the wall. The stare is empty and Sooyoung is a bit concerned from the lack of reaction. Her sister finishes a can of soda and inspects it in her hands. Sooyoung is about to run when he sister crushes the aluminum.

Dodging the object that’s thrown at her Chaewon scurries off as Hyunjin goes to tackle Sooyoung. Her sister is swinging like crazy and Sooyoung is afraid for her life when Hyunjin finally grabs a hold of her t-shirt pulling her down to the ground. Sooyoung quickly gets back to her feet and goes for the door where Chaewon is waving but Hyunjin is quick and catches her before she makes it.

Now Sooyoung is pinned to the wall with her own hand slapping herself in the face with the guidance of her sister. “Hey Soo why are you hitting yourself?” Sooyoung grumbles as her own hand continues to make contact with her face. It’s not hard but it’s embarrassing and annoying. Heejin is laughing on the bed clearly forgotten about the little fact that Sooyoung had given her about Hyunjin. 

Chaewon is even laughing at her, making Sooyoung feel betrayed. Finally Sooyoung is released from her torture and she turns to leave with a huff. But not before smacking the shit out of Hyunjin’s arm that would surely leave a mark. Sprinting out the house dragging Chaewon by the hand with her she giggles at the high pitched scream of her name. 

She lets go of her friend's hand and bends over to catch her breath, Chaewon is laughing like a maniac. Sooyoung didn’t know what time it was but all she knew is that it was really hot outside. It must have been in the middle of the day because she was already working up a sweat. After laughing it all out Sooyoung raises up and spots Chaewon’s signature car parked in the driveway.

Sooyoung and Chaewon were very different. From their hobbies and to how they presented themselves. But the thing that set them apart the most was that Sooyoung’s family usually struggled to pay the bills while Chaewon lived in a mansion without any worry in the world. Sooyoung was never jealous though because some of the things Chae would tell her about her family would break her heart. Sooyoung would never trade her family for the lifestyle. It was the best thing about her life, not matter how much they fought they still loved each other. 

But despite Chaewon not having a loving family like her own she still had a pretty sick car. Bubble gum pink Audi convertible. Sooyoung was allowed to drive it often much to her pleasure since Chaewon would always want to play on her DS in the passenger seat. There were many days were Sooyoung would zoom through the city in the car with her best friend by her side yelling whenever she would go too fast.

Sooyoung runs up to the car and pats on it, “God I’ve missed you Kirby.” 

Chaewon rolls her eyes and jumps into the passenger seat. “Sometimes I feel like you love my car than me.”

“What do you mean? Of course, I do.” Chaewon whines as Sooyoung makes her way around the front of the coupe letting her hand slide across the hood. She jumps in as well not even bothering to open the door since the top was down. Chaewon opens the glove department while smacking Sooyoung’s arm who was distracted by the new steering wheel cover. It was eight-bit hearts with little smiley faces. 

Finally looking over she lets her jaw drop at the multiple blunts already rolled up. Chaewon holds one by one up explaining each flavor to Sooyoung. “We got a banana smash, a boozy watermelon and a Maui pineapple.” Sooyoung takes hold of one of the blunts and smells it. Nodding her head she gives it back to Chaewon. Sooyoung knows tonight is going to be fun.

“You mind if we invite someone else?” Chaewon raises one of her brows before putting the blunts back inside the compartment. 

The blonde shrugs and urges Sooyoung to continue, “Kim Jungeun she’s the girl that I was paired with.” Sooyoung wasn’t for sure if Jungeun even smoked but the thought of her sitting in that hospital all by herself bothered Sooyoung. Was she actually trying to be nice? Or was she just feeling sorry for the girl? No, Sooyoung convinced herself that she wanted to hang out with Jungeun. She enjoyed the girl’s company and she didn’t need an explanation for it. 

“Sure! She’s super cute…look at you making friends.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes at her friend and swats at the hand tickling at her ear. “I’m glad you took my advice on being nice to people. Now you don’t seem like such a loser with just one friend.” Slumping in the driver’s seat she lays her head back. Right, she has to be nice. She doesn’t need to toss Chaewon out of her own car right now for calling her a loser. But man the itch to be mean was annoying.

She was trying to change for the better. To actually start being nice and shut her mouth once and for all. For Chaewon, for her Granma and well for, “Can you start being nice to Jindori too? I know you two have um you know, but like would it hurt?” 

Sooyoung turns the car on, “yes it would drain the life out of me why would I be when she broke my nose.” She glances at Chaewon who just looks disappointed. She would like to ask Chaewon why it’s such a big deal. Jinsoul didn’t want anything to do with her so why should she make the effort to be nice to the other blonde. Why should she make any effort at all? 

Now at practice, Sooyoung ignored Jinsoul. And to no one’s surprise, Jinsoul didn’t act any differently. Usually, everyone was annoyed by Sooyoung constantly pestering and insulting the girl but now it was just…awkward. The two didn’t get close, they didn’t say a word to each other and the weirdest part that they never looked at each other unless they had to. Sooyoung was always staring at Jinsoul, but now she acted like Jinsoul didn’t exist. 

She starts to drive off. Sooyoung hates how every time Jinsoul has mentioned all these thoughts bombarded her mind. She thought leaving Jinsoul alone would make her get over her but really this odd attachment she had to the blonde was getting even stronger without the daily attention. Even if it was negative. At least when she was an ass Jinsoul would be mad at her. That was some sort of attention right? 

But now Sooyoung would lay in bed at night and think of a thousand scenarios between her and Jinsoul. Due to recent events, it was getting worse, it hasn’t been this bad since well… and all she thought about was the blonde. She needed to move on. Or she’d end up doing stupid. Like falling in love with her _again_.

Sooyoung was so tired of all this. She hated how Jinsoul had so much control over her without doing anything. It always pissed her off and she always took it out on the people who didn’t deserve it. She was nothing to Jinsoul. But Jinsoul was everything to her and so her curiosity gets the better of her. All the effort of trying to wash Jinsoul out builds straight back up. “Does she ever talk about me?” 

Chaewon who is playing with the wind turns to Sooyoung, “not really, but she always asks about you.” Sooyoung doesn’t dare to look at Chaewon. She doesn’t want to seem interested in that. But it’s all she’s thinking about now as she drives to the hospital. Sooyoung lets the conversation end there.

Sooyoung takes a detour so that they can drive past the boardwalk. If there was anything to distract the thoughts of Jinsoul it was hitting on pretty girls. Slowing the car down to a crawl she scopes every girl out until she finds one with a nice ass, “hey shawty lemme see you!” The girl turns around and Sooyoung can’t help but snort when she sees the girl’s face. “Never mind you ugly!” Sooyoung speeds off after the girl starts yelling.

After bringing the car back down to a crawl again she hangs her arm off on the side and drives with one hand. There are two fine girls walking side by side and Sooyoung calls out to them. Thank god they had a pretty face to match the body. They smile and walk over to the car and Sooyoung stops it. Hopping out with finesse she greets the ladies with a wink.

One of them takes their sunglasses off and Sooyoung physically jumps when she sees the lazy eye. Turning to her friend and completely ignoring the other one she’s grateful to find that the girl is beautiful. But not as beautiful as Jinsoul. “Hey baby what’s your name?” 

The girl blushes and looks at her friend who is staring a hole through Sooyoung. “I’m Yeeun and this is…” Her friend blurts out her own name but Sooyoung doesn’t even bother listening. 

Taking the prettier girl’s hand Sooyoung spins her around and makes sure to make her groan loud enough while checking the girl out. It works and the girl is already blushing like crazy and letting herself move closer to Sooyoung who is now leaning on the car. Chaewon is still playing on her DS numb to Sooyoung’s advances.

“Yeeun we should go swimming tonight.” The girl raises her brows so Sooyoung pulls her against her by the girl’s lower back and whispers against her lips, “I promise I’ll make you twice as wet.” Yeeun giggles and pushes Sooyoung away. She does nothing but smiles at the blonde. 

The girl looks behind her and quirks a brow again, “your little sister won’t mind?” Sooyoung laughs and shakes her head. The girl then smirks and goes to pull a pen out of her bag.

It’s all a game. Sooyoung plans to never speak to this girl again after this little encounter. She only fucked people she trusted. Not random girls on the boardwalk. But she loved to flirt. It was about as fun as bullying people. 

About to seal the deal and boost her ego the number is written on her skin with a pink gel pen is interrupted by a custom honk. Sooyoung jumps two feet in the air and turns to cuss out Chae for making her look like an idiot in front of all the people who were now staring at the car. Dread runs through her veins though when she realizes the girl is in the driver’s seat with a mischievous smirk, “see you later whore!” 

Sooyoung screams as the pink car zooms off. Shaking with anger she blows it out through her nose and counts to ten. Putting back on her charming smile she turns back to the lady and the beast. Only for them to not be there. The smile drops and Sooyoung rolls her eyes. She guesses Chaewon saved her in some way but now she was stuck on the boardwalk. 

She starts to walk the direction to where Kirby went but makes sure to hit on women on the way. Strutting up to a fine lady using one of the sea binoculars she gets on the next one over and pretends she’s using it until she catches the girl’s eye. Once they lock gazes Sooyoung works her magic, “Do you have an inhaler because you have ass ma…” 

It doesn’t land too well because the girl actually gives her an inhaler. Sooyoung stares at it and returns it without saying a word and continues her efforts with every girl remotely attractive. None of them stick well like the first one and Sooyoung is even threatened when she hits on someone’s girlfriend. It doesn’t faze her though she wasn’t actually looking for anything. Just some validation that she was sexy. 

Swinging her arms as she walks she spots something exquisite. Some girl bending over wiping at her surfboard. Sooyoung takes several moments to take the site of such an ass in the tight wet suit and feels herself get a little hot under the sun. Yeah, this was certainly a ten and Sooyoung wonders if she can charm the girl. 

Walking up she has to bite her lip before she says something too vulgar. From the way the fabric was gripping onto flesh she just knows the girl is wearing a thong or maybe nothing and that visionary makes Sooyoung shake. There was something familiar to the mystery girl’s figure though, Sooyoung couldn’t quite put her finger on it. She didn’t think too hard because she was thinking of other ways she could use her fingers on this girl.

Buzzing with new found energy that most people described as _horny_ she clears her throat to make her presence known. “You know if you ever want to practice some more,” the girl freezes her motions of cleaning her board, “I can fill my tub up halfway and you can use me as your surfboard.” The girl starts to stand up and that’s when she notices she’s blonde, “I’d let you ride me all night long.” Sooyoung doesn’t know why she doesn’t shut up but she wishes she did when the girl fully raises up and Sooyoung instantly recognizes the figure. 

Sooyoung can feel her soul ascend. She doesn’t know if it went up or down but all she knows is that she’s slowly dissipating into thin air. Or that’s what she wishes was happening. Jinsoul turns around and stares at her ashamed face with curiosity. “Oh, Hey Sooyoung I thought that was your voice.” Sooyoung doesn’t move. She’s stuck to the ground and she only stares back at Jinsoul. 

The blonde then tilts her head and smiles, “but I’ll have to pass I’m pretty fizzled. Thank you for the offer it was very nice of you!” Sooyoung is thankful that Jinsoul is a dumbass or she would have to come up with an excuse to why she just suggested for blonde to come fuck her in her bathtub. Sooyoung stares at Jinsoul with her fist clenched. The blonde was smiling so sweetly at her and Sooyoung lets her heart run wild at how beautiful Jinsoul truly is.

Bowing she apologizes and starts to walk away. Jinsoul runs after her, “hey wait!” Sooyoung stops in her tracks and turns back around. Jinsoul runs into her and muffles out a noise. “Why are you running off already?” Jinsoul pouts and Sooyoung realizes she’ll never in a million years be able to get over Jung Jinsoul. 

“You was being nice don’t tell me you’ve already changed your mind.” Jinsoul goes to twirl her salt matted hair in her hands. Threading her fingers through to de-tangle the golden brown mess. Sooyoung takes the time to look the blonde up and down. She was getting tanner and her body looked amazing in the wet suit. 

Sooyoung shrugs, keeping her eyes on Jinsoul’s face. The blonde had no makeup on and Sooyoung has never seen skin look that soft. “I’m just walking around…you know...chilling.” 

Jinsoul makes a dorky face and nods her head. It gets awkward then, “far out dude.” Sooyoung raises her brow as Jinsoul’s hand hovers over her shoulder. She gets second-hand embarrassment when Jinsoul goes to bump her shoulder but ends up backing out, bringing her hand to scratch at her head.

“I can grab my board and maybe I can join you?” Jinsoul gives her this smile that seems shy. Sooyoung remembers what she said last time. She was only hanging out with Sooyoung because she _had_ to. Although Sooyoung can admit that this awkward not really friends not really enemies was better than them clawing at each other’s throat.

Sooyoung reminds herself though, bullying is way more fun than flirting. She’d like to have some fun with Jinsoul right now. Her favorite, “um you’re kinda lame no offense.” Jinsoul’s smile drops and for a second the girl is extremely upset. But the sadness quickly turns to anger. 

“God and here I was thinking this was going somewhere.” Jinsoul throws her hands up and the air, close to tears already. 

Watching the blonde talk to herself Sooyoung starts to think that maybe Jinsoul is crazy. “Sorry habit.” Jinsoul then turns to her, Sooyoung notices how bent her eyebrows. 

Jinsoul then crosses her arms and walks closer to her. “Why can’t we hang Sooyoung?” 

Maybe she could do that, “I don’t want to.” 

Jinsoul smiles but it’s not mocking, it’s genuine like it always is, “why? Am I really that lame?”

Sooyoung nods and Jinsoul steps closer. “I don’t want to hang with someone who feels as if they have to like me.” She’s still salty from the library. Jinsoul’s smile falls again. Sooyoung can sense the guilt coming off of the girl. Jinsoul could have regretted her wording but Sooyoung doubts it. 

Jinsoul is about to say something else until a particular honk pulls them apart. Chaewon is staring at them with a wide smile on her face. “Get in losers!” Sooyoung snaps her gaze towards the car and wants to strangle the driver. Both of them start to head for the car, the taller of the two pushes Jinsoul to the side making her stumble receiving a grumble.

Chaewon starts to honk the horn again. Jinsoul forgets her board and turns to go back receive it. Sooyoung sees the opportunity and jumps in the back seat. “DRIVE!” Chaewon doesn’t do anything though. Just continues to bop her head to the music. The blonde turns around and asks her to repeat herself. Rolling her eyes she screams at the girl, “SHUT UP AND DRIVE!” 

Sooyoung only gets a blink in response, “I don’t have Rihanna.” She wants to pull her hair out. Especially when Jinsoul puts her surfboard in the back and kicks with her feet for Sooyoung to scoot over. Sooyoung scoots all the way over. To get as possibly far from Jinsoul as she could. Crossing her arms she watches the streets. 

“Which Sean, Kingston or Paul?” Sooyoung doesn’t pay attention to the sisters. They’re arguing about something and Sooyoung could care less about what. She was stuck with Jinsoul and even though part of her was loving it. She dreaded on how it would end because in the pit of her stomach there was this deep insecurity that she had when it always comes to Jinsoul. Her shoulder is tapped and Sooyoung chooses to ignore it. The tapping becomes more annoying so she finally jerks around to face the blonde. 

Jinsoul jumps from the proximity and backs away a tad bit. Sooyoung answers and turns back around, “Paul duh.” 

The car starts moving again this time the speakers all the way up where it muffles out all the sound around. Sooyoung starts to get more comfortable and leans back into the seat. Draping one arm off the side and the other across the back of the seat. Closing her eyes she relaxes or at least tries to until she hears the chattering of teeth beside her.

Opening one eye she glances over and opens the other when Jinsoul is already looking at her. The blonde is closer than before but currently frozen in the spot. Sooyoung can see her jaw shaking, she doesn’t pay any mind to it though and closes her eyes again.

Something wet comes in contact with her arm making her open her eyes once more and when she sees that Jinsoul is _even_ closer she has to say something, “can you like give me some space?” 

Jinsoul takes it as an invitation weirdly and scoots all the way over and into Sooyoung’s side, “but I’m freezing.” The blonde is pouting and Sooyoung would like to say no but the lump in her throat is preventing her from saying anything. Now Jinsoul is leaning into her, the water from her wetsuit and hair seeping into Sooyoung’s own clothes. Jinsoul doesn’t seem to notice though and continues to sing along to the song on the radio. 

Sooyoung can sense how dangerous this is. How Jinsoul is acting like nothing has happened between them. Like she wasn’t the one that brought them to this standoff relationship in the first place. 

The blonde snuggles into her further and Sooyoung can feel her heartbeat getting heavier. She wants to ignore it but it’s so hard to. The rest of the ride is mostly Jinsoul being cute and Sooyoung trying to remain unfazed. Chaewon talks to them as if they’ve still been best friends all these years and smiles at Sooyoung who hasn’t said one malicious word the whole trip. 

Finally rolling up to the hospital Sooyoung is quick to jump out leaving the other two behind. She was just going to sneak her good friend Jungeun out of the hospital so she could have some fun. Dodging a few patients she slips up the stairs to the second floor. She’s about to open the door to the hallway until a voice behind her almost makes her shit her pants, “hey where are going?” 

Sooyoung almost jumps out of her slides and slowly turns around. Jinsoul is standing behind her with curiosity drawn over her face, “what the fuck are you doing?

Jinsoul shrugs, “I thought we were hanging out?” 

Stomping on the floor Sooyoung runs her hands through her hair, “we’re not-.” She stops mid-sentence when she sees the girl’s sad frown. Sooyoung is completely appalled. She wasn’t used to this Jinsoul again yet. The one she knew all those years ago. The Jinsoul that was her best friend. Sooyoung was used to the Jinsoul who hated her guts. “I…okay fine I’m getting Jungeun out of here.” 

The blonde opens her mouth but then furrows her brows in confusion. Sooyoung wonders what is so hard to understand about that. Rolling her eyes she steps through the door. Jinsoul can just follow her lead she guesses. Slipping through the hallways she comes up to Jungeun’s room and hopes she doesn’t have any visitors and sneaks in the room. Jungeun is laying on the bed flipping through channels on the TV. Sooyoung frowns at the dark circles under her friend’s eyes and how much weight she’s lost, probably from the lack of appetite. 

Though when Jungeun spots the both of them her whole face lights up. Sooyoung smiles and goes to greet her with a fist bump and Jinsoul just stands awkwardly behind the tanner girl. Jungeun narrows her eyes between them and notices how nervous Sooyoung looks and how…comfortable Jinsoul is. The blonde is just casually leaning into Sooyoung as if she didn’t break her nose a couple of weeks ago. 

Jungeun winks at Sooyoung making the older girl become embarrassed, “I didn’t know you two had become friends.”

“We’re not.”

“Yeah!”

Jungeun raises a brow at the both of them. They’re staring at each other because of the mixed reactions. Jinsoul looks sad and Sooyoung just looks...in pain. The older girl rolls her eyes and scans the room when she spots the wheelchair she pushes Jinsoul off of her and goes to receive it. Folding it out she pushes it toward the bed and moves to pick Jungeun up.

“Hey, hey! What are you doing?” Sooyoung ignores the ash-blonde and continues to shift her arms under the body and lifts. Jungeun squeals as she’s lifted and plopped into the wheelchair. “Sooyoung my surgery is in two days!” The girl doesn’t listen and nods to Jinsoul to open the door. The blonde for the first time follows instructions and leads them out. 

Jungeun is complaining the whole time they roll her out. When they reach the elevator Jinsoul stands guard as Sooyoung presses the button over and over again like it will make the machine work faster. It dings and they wait for the door to open and as soon as it does Sooyoung pushes in only to get stuck. Jungeun has her arms out holding herself back from getting in.

Sooyoung tilts the chair threating the girl, “so help me I will dump you out.” Jungeun screams when Sooyoung jerks the chair up making Jungeun let go of the door. The girl is cussing them out punching at Jinsoul’s leg as the elevator descends. The faint music playing about mixing in with the shrill voice that’s calling them a _bunch of dumb bitches_.

Outside Chaewon is waiting on them. Filing her nails in the backseat. Sooyoung rolls up with Jungeun who is very pissed off and throws her in the back with the younger girl. Sooyoung leans over the back to situate Jungeun’s legs over Chaewon’s lap so that the girl is comfortable. Chaewon has no clue what’s going when a braced leg is over top of her own. Looking at her sister for an explanation she lets her mouth drop when she notices Jinsoul’s stare.

Chaewon can’t believe her eyes as her sister shamelessly checks out her best friend. When Jinsoul bites her lip, Chaewon screams, “what the fuck Jinsoul really?” The blonde jumps from the call out and Sooyoung turns around to see what Jinsoul was doing but the blonde was just whistling and looking up at the sky.

Shrugging she fixes Jungeun’s belt and pats on the girl’s head before slipping into the passenger seat. “So I have to drive?” Jinsoul asks and Chaewon and Sooyoung stare at her before nodding. “Why?”

Chaewon is the one to speak up, “because we’re smoking.” Jungeun visibly relaxes at that. Suddenly not mad that she was kidnapped from the hospital. Jinsoul rolls her eyes and mumbles out _of course_ and makes her way to the driver’s seat. 

Before turning the car on she calls out, “seatbelts on!” She hears Chae’s click behind her but Sooyoung doesn’t move a muscle. Jinsoul waves in front of her face but the girl doesn’t even blink, “Sooyoung seatbelt please.”

Jinsoul only receives the finger. Not wanting blood on her hands if they do crash she leans over Sooyoung’s body and grabs the belt herself pulling it over. Jinsoul glances up at her and Sooyoung lets her eyes trail up and down the girl’s face lingering on her lips and smirks when she watches Jinsoul’s throat constrict from swallowing.

Chaewon is watching the interaction in the back with a confused face. She thought they hated each other? So why did it look like they wanted to-

“Fuck! Can we go already I’m burning up back here?” Jinsoul blinks out of the daze. Her mouth had gone dry form the look Sooyoung was giving her and she couldn’t stop staring at plump lips. God what was wrong with her.

Sooyoung goes back to staring out the side. Maybe tonight wouldn’t be as bad as she thought. Especially when she was starting to feel in control again.

…

An hour later behind some palm trees, Jinsoul watches as two of the most important people in her life and a cripple gets high. Sooyoung took the banana smash and almost had it finished since she was a quick smoker. She paid close attention to the blonde sitting on the curb and how she had only stared at her the past twenty minutes. 

The smoke would roll out of her mouth and she would inhale it back in with her nose amazing the two beside her. Chaewon was probably the most tolerant out of three and Jungeun was an amateur only getting halfway through the blunt before becoming so toasted all she could do is stare.

Chaewon urges her to finish the swisher and Jungeun powers through becoming higher and higher by the minute and when she can’t finish it she passes it to Sooyoung and Chae who had finished minutes ago. Jinsoul didn’t like to smoke since she didn’t want to ruin her vocal abilities. She was in the choir and it would be a shame to put her talents to waste. But that didn’t mean she didn’t enjoy an edible every now and then.

Piling back into Kirby Jinsoul makes them all buckle in before asking, “Who’s hungry?” Sooyoung hums out and so do the other two. Sooyoung watches as Jinsoul smiles to herself and starts to pull out. She could probably fall asleep like this. The wind blowing through her hair and now Kingston was playing on the radio. She heard giggling in the back so she turns to see what’s so funny.

Chaewon is grabbing onto Jungeun’s toes making the ash-blonde giggle. “Staap it that tickles.” Chaewon doesn’t listen though somehow in a trance from the tiny nubs. Sooyoung starts to laugh too and neither of them notices her. 

The blonde then looks up and notices Sooyoung staring at the toes as well. She spreads them out just for her, “Soo did you know we have these things?” Sooyoung shakes her head honestly astonished by the fact that toes are real. They continue to watch the girl’s toes Jungeun herself since she was amazed that they were moving on their own. 

Jinsoul is driving close to somewhere that grabs all of Chaewon’s attention. “YOOO pull into da fucking Wendy’s” The driver was already going there and quickly pulls in. 

Chaewon starts vibrating in her seat when Jinsoul takes too long, “go grandma pull the fuck in.” Jinsoul pulls into the drive-through and stops at a box. They wait for someone to answer but it never comes. 

“This an advertisement dumbass the shit down there.” Jinsoul awkwardly laughs and continues to drive up to where Chaewon is pointing at. 

The blonde screams some profanity when they finally make it, “assa bitches.” They all wait for the worker to talk back but they never do so Chaewon starts screaming, “Excuse me WENDY!”

“YOOO WENDY!” 

“Why are you yelling?” Finally, the microphone buzzes through and Chaewon stops for a minute.

Tapping at the box she states, “Because I’m hungry and y’all not answering.” Jinsoul is about to scold her little sister before Sooyoung stops her. Shaking her head. There was never any getting through to Chaewon when she was hungry. 

“I didn’t answer because you were being mad disrespectful.” Chaewon rolls her eyes at the screen and starts to look at the menu. 

“I wasn’t disrespectful you just sensitive.” Sooyoung starts to laugh and so does Jungeun.

The Wendy’s worker replies, “Oh my god I’m about to...”

Chaewon ignores it, “you gonna have to see me so you better have the same attitude.” The worker then shuts up and asks what they would like to eat. Chaewon orders three things of nuggets. Jinsoul turns to Jungeun who is counting on her hands. She patiently waits for the girl to decide and she only holds up three fingers.

“Three what Jungeun?” The girl gestures with her hands and Jinsoul doesn’t understand one bit.

Jungeun then shrugs, “the McChicken’s.” Sooyoung can sense the total confusion on Jinsoul’s face so she leans over the driver and speaks out the rest of the order. 

“I want a triple stack, um five spicy chicken wraps, can you give us just like a bag of fries and do you all have mozzarella sticks.” The worker informs her that they do not have mozzarella sticks, “then fuck you.” 

“That will be 40.47 at the first window.” Jinsoul gets out the cash and drives up. There’s a girl working the cash register that has a red wig on and Chaewon can’t help but open her mouth.

“Yo are you Wendy?” The worker smiles and twiddles with her pigtails, “yes I am.” Chaewon is in awe as they receive the large bag of food. Jinsoul then takes them to the beach that’s part of the park where not a lot of people went. The beach was not as nice and had various rocks and plants around but it was nice for a little picnic. 

While Jungeun is carried by Sooyoung, Jinsoul carries the food and well Chaewon carries herself since she was too delicate to do anything that involved strength. Sitting the crippled on the sand Chaewon joins her and Jinsoul gives them their food. Sooyoung grabs her own burger and the mozzarella sticks that Jinsoul had stopped to get just for her and heads to a rock.

She climbs on top of it with no effort and sits Indian style before digging in. Her eating is interrupted by a whine though. Looking over to the side Jinsoul is standing on the side. Her hair is now dry and it curls in particular spots but for the most part, it’s just a fuzzy mess. Sooyoung watches as the blonde tries to lift herself up onto the rock as well. 

Rolling her eyes she crawls over and hops back down. Without thinking she lifts Jinsoul up and onto the rock sitting her on the edge. Sooyoung made sure to squeeze Jinsoul’s waist as she lifted her just to show that she was safe in her hands. The rock wasn’t even that high so Sooyoung jumps back up and mocks Jinsoul’s inability to climb.

Sooyoung goes back to eating as soon as she could her stomach growling and the fuzziness in her brain telling her that the food is going to be better than sex. Opening up the wrapper she moans at the deliciousness invading all her senses and takes the first bite. Her eyes roll to the back of her head as the taste hits just right. About to just scarf it all down she notices the blonde staring at her, totally forgetting the company.

Jinsoul giggles giving Sooyoung an opened mouth smile, her eyes crinkling as her cheeks puff up. Sooyoung thinks that maybe the site of that was better than the burger. “Don’t mind me it’s just cute with how much you’re enjoying yourself.” Sooyoung blushes and she blames the high, continuing to eat to distract her fluttering heart. 

She glances back over to Jinsoul who was staring out into the ocean and that’s when Sooyoung realizes she didn’t get her anything, “Did you want something to eat?” The blonde hums and turns to face her, hugging her knees to her chest.

The sun was starting to go down and so was Sooyoung’s walls. “No, I didn’t want anything I’m kind of on a diet right now.” Sooyoung stops mid-bite and glares at the blonde who suddenly got shy.

“Why?” Jinsoul shrugs and chips at some of the dirt on the rock. Sooyoung studies her face, for the time being, she almost looked upset at admitting it.

So she starts to ramble off, “I don’t think you need to, you have an amazing body.” Sooyoung would know since she fantasizes about how she would worship it very often. She’d never admit that though. Jinsoul gives her a weird expression like she didn’t believe what just came out of her mouth. “I’m being serious. You’re gorgeous head to toe.” Maybe it was the high giving her this confidence to be honest to Jinsoul. Maybe it was because the blonde was finally listening to her.

Jinsoul smiles she shoves her by the shoulder, “Thanks Sooyoung that was really nice of you to say.” The girl leans back on her hands after that and Sooyoung notices how Jinsoul won’t stop smiling at her. Sooyoung likes the eyes on her but it gets overwhelming after a bit. She’s afraid suddenly Jinsoul won’t be here and it’s just another one of her dreams.

But she is here because Sooyoung feels her warmth. Jinsoul scoots even closer to her, one of the arms coming behind her as Jinsoul leans into her. Sooyoung offers her burger but Jinsoul declines but Sooyoung persists by shoving it in the blonde’s face making it a mess. Sooyoung then laughs as Jinsoul cusses her out. That was something she was used to, not this soft look Jinsoul was giving her. 

Down below in the sand, Chaewon and Jungeun are finishing off the bag of fries. Jungeun is telling the younger girl a vivid story of her first time, “and so I told her I’d be better at eating pussy once I got my braces off but she didn’t believe me. She still thought I was a bottom.” Chaewon nods and listens to Jungeun’s complaining like it was her job and reaches down into the bag to retrieve more fries.

When her hand comes in contact with something…hairy she shudders. Slowly pulling out she starts to scream in terror and so does Jungeun, “IS THAT A FUCKING RAT IN THE FRY BAG?” Chaewon chucks the thing off into the distance and starts to sob uncontrollably while Jungeun throws up onto the sand. The commotion is heard by the two on top of the rock but their so interested in themselves that they choose to ignore it.

Sooyoung is eating the cheese sticks while Jinsoul finishes off Sooyoung’s burger. The tanner girl notices how Jinsoul picks off all the vegetables before chowing down. They stare at each other while they eat, wide smiles on both of their faces. Sooyoung is about to say something to Jinsoul until a whole leg brace hits the back of her head.

Grumbling out in pain she throws it down back to the other girl’s, “what the fuck?” She was just having a moment with Jung Jinsoul what could they possibly want? Sooyoung is about to crawl down and beat the crippled up along with the gremlin but soft hands threading through her hair distract her as Jinsoul massages the pain away.

The high makes the sensation ten times better and all she can think about is how she’d like to touch Jinsoul too but she keeps her hands placed at her thighs. Sooyoung is about to fall asleep, but something else comes flying up. It lands on Jinsoul’s leg and Sooyoung can’t even process it before Jinsoul is on top of her clinging for dear life. “WHY WOULD YOU THROW A RAT UP HERE?” There’s some laughing down below so Sooyoung pushes Jinsoul out of lap even though she’d like to keep her there and jumps down from the rock.

Chaewon’s ass is thrown into the ocean water much to her protest and Sooyoung pours sand down Jungeun’s granny panties. The crippled couldn’t even do anything as she rolled around on the ground trying to get out of Sooyoung’s wrathful grasp. 

After everyone was calmed down and now the high was just a buzzing feeling they were just lounging on the beach. Jungeun was sitting on the wet sand while Chaewon splashed in the water. Jinsoul and Sooyoung were sitting far behind them just watching. They were beside each other but Sooyoung made sure there was a distance between them. 

They haven’t really talked any since the rock. Jinsoul was arguing with herself in her head while Sooyoung had lost the confidence. Jinsoul goes to speak but nothing comes out. The girl has been doing that a lot the past 30 minutes but Sooyoung pays no mind.

The words finally come out though, “Sooyoung can we be friends again?” 

She only hums, “why because we have to be?” 

Jinsoul plays with the sand between her fingers before answering truthfully, “no because I want to. I miss you. I miss us, this is how we used to be why can’t we keep doing this.” 

Sooyoung turns to her and notices how glossy Jinsoul’s eyes are. Was she really telling the truth? “You told me to leave you alone remember?”

The blonde shakes her head and the water in her eyes is starting to collect, they’ll be tears soon enough. “That was in the past. This is now. I didn’t know what I wanted back then.” Sooyoung hums and stares at the sand. 

Taking some of it between her hands she watches it flow back out through her fingers. “And what do you want now.”

Jinsoul sighs, “you.”

Sooyoung stands up quickly and stares down at the girl, “fuck you Jinsoul.” The blonde in the wetsuit doesn’t understand and watches her walk away. It takes about five seconds for the gears to start working in Jinsoul’s hand before she stands up to pull Sooyoung back. The tanner girl just jerks her hand back. “You’re not even going to apologize? You just think at a snap of a finger we can be friends again?”

Jinsoul looks at her expectantly, “oh my god you’re serious.” The blonde just nods her head and steps closer but Sooyoung steps back. “So I should just forget about everything and pretend that you didn’t hurt me?” Jinsoul cringes at this and hangs her head low. Sooyoung nudges on her shoulder she wants her to look her in the eye when she says the next part.

The blonde slowly lifts her head, “I meant nothing to you Jinsoul. That’s what you said right? You didn’t want me around you could care less about me.”

Sooyoung doesn’t know why tears are pouring down her face. The high was making everything puppies and rainbows but now it was just harsh reality, “you wanted me to disappear, that’s why I became your enemy so I could stay close to you.

“It was the only way. Because I wasn’t ready to lose you.” Wiping at her face she sniffs. She didn’t realize she was shaking so hard. All of these emotions being bottled up for years we’re surfacing.

She watches Jinsoul’s face fall. “I don’t know if I could go through that again so just leave me alone and I’ll do the same.” Sooyoung then starts to walk off again and Jinsoul doesn’t stop her. She starts to run once she hits the street. She’d had always been a good runner but this was the first time she had ran from Jinsoul. Usually she was chasing after her.

Chaewon and Jungeun are still at the water and had watched the whole exchange. Jungeun is the first to speak up noticing how Jinsoul’s shoulders are shaking tremendously, “man what are they fighting about now?”

The blonde above her buries her feet in the sand, “they’re always fighting.” Jungeun splashes in the water. She didn’t know why they fought so much. Even though she only had known Sooyoung for a few years the girl was never this angry. Sure she liked to pick at people but nothing like Jinsoul. She was genuinely upset at the girl.

“I thought they had a thing for each other.” Jungeun just speaks her mind. 

What comes out of Chaewon’s mouth shocks Jungeun, “well kinda, they used to be best friends. Like Sooyoung’s family practically raised Jinsoul and me.” The ash-blonde only nods trying to unravel the new information. If they used to best friends then why did they not get along now? 

Jinsoul comes clamping down towards them and clings onto the smaller blonde. They both watch the girl in surfer gear cry her eyes out her mumbling only one thing. 

But it’s too faint for either of them to hear.

...

One day later and only two days before the tournament Sooyoung downs a cup of coffee before continuing the wipe down tables. Working at the Love Shack dinner wasn’t a horrible job but it wasn’t the best one. Sure the place was dead most of the time except a night when a lot of college students and crazies came in. That was usually Sooyoung’s shift though, was the graveyard one. 

The only person here was the owner who was here most of the time. The woman’s name was Hani and she was the pretty fierce cook when not burning down the place. Sooyoung had barely gotten any sleep due to a certain someone. She had cried herself to sleep. Sooyoung had been reminded how warm Jinsoul is but she had to remember how it was ripped from her. 

Hani comes around the corner whistling and pumping her arms to stretch them out. Sooyoung greets her with a smile and the older woman’s whistle dies out as she takes in her appearance. “Damn you look like shit.” Sooyoung snorts and takes the rag she was using to wipe the furniture and throws it over her shoulder. 

The owner then sits her down on a stool and sits down beside her. “What’s wrong baby girl?” Sooyoung raises a brow. Did something seem wrong with her? 

“Um nothing?” Hani hunches over and pops her bubblegum. She always had bubble gum in and would never stop smacking it. Sooyoung had gotten used to it from working for the woman for six years. 

Hani slaps on her knee before trying to convince her, “come on tell me you know you can trust me.” 

Sooyoung sighs and starts to tell the older woman, “you remember Jinsoul?” Hani nods and rests her chin on her hand giving Sooyoung all her attention. “Um so she wants to be friends again.” 

“Wait really?” Hani was the only one that knew the full story. She was close enough to trust but far away enough that Sooyoung didn’t have to worry about Jinsoul finding out that she still talks about her all the time. Sooyoung only fiddles with her fingers and jumps when the bubblegum pops, “hell no what did you say?”

“I practically told her to fuck off.” Hani laughs and raises her hand for a high five but Sooyoung just stares at it. “I kinda regret it.” The hand drops and Sooyoung receives a glare that tells her that she’s not thinking clearly. “I miss her.”

Hani stands up and crosses her arms. “No, she doesn’t get to break your heart, bust your nose and then expect y’all to kiss and make up.” Sooyoung blushes at the kiss part. “You are stronger than that. If she wants to be friends again she has to work hard to get that trust back just like you tried and you didn’t do anything to lose it in the first place.” 

Hani was right she guesses. She did miss Jinsoul an awful lot and she was tired of being mean to Jinsoul. Sooyoung thought Jinsoul wanted nothing to do with her so why did she ask to be friends again? She was so confused from the past few days. None of it made sense. Jinsoul made no sense. She would see how hard Jinsoul would try for her. To see what kinda effort the blonde would put it. Then maybe just maybe she could forgive and forget.

Sooyoung smirks at the thought of Jinsoul chasing after her just like she did. Maybe Jinsoul would bother her just like she would. Oh how the tables could turn for them and finally Jinsoul could have a taste of her own medicine. But really Sooyoung would probably give in after three days because,

“I think I still love her.” 

Hani raises her brow, “I think if she were to ask again I’d say yes.”

“I mean I’m still not over it all. She still hasn’t even apologized. But I don’t think I could let the opportunity go to waste. I mean she was…everything to me.” _I’d like for that to be true again_. Hani only shrugs and goes back to the kitchen not even going to argue with the girl. 

Sooyoung would like to see where this goes. She was tired of being Jinsoul’s enemy.

She wanted Jinsoul to be hers. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OK stick wit me, they become friend’s next chapter. Sorry Yves is hot and cold.


	4. Tournament arc 1/2

First the fan, second the three bottles of water and finally her bed made neatly. Laying on top of the sheets Sooyoung spreads her whole body out sighing at the cool air hitting her body. Tomorrow was the big day for the tournament and her mind was running rampant at the thoughts of everything that could go wrong. Sooyoung didn’t mind losing but she hated it when it was her fault. She could deal with a team having more skills, but if she were to lose because of Jinsoul not pulling her weight or herself by getting distracted by Jinsoul then she’d end up tearing the net down. 

Sooyoung would probably lay in bed for the rest of the day just resting up, she had to also had to build up the motivation to warm up tomorrow at six am in form of a morning jog. Sighing she throws her arm over her eyes to block out the sun coming from the window. Sooyoung hadn’t had a moment of peace for a long time. Since her sisters were out enjoying the sun her aunt and mother were out working, Granma was probably asleep on the recliner taking her daily nap.

It was days like these that Sooyoung loved the most. The house was always a circus and everywhere else Sooyoung seemed to go she would find something annoying. Turning around on her belly she opts out on taking a nap as well. Just when she was about to fall into dreamland she hears the door open. She guesses it’s Hyunjin by the silence since Yerim would have been yelling by now and Hyejoo always knocks because she had functioning brain unlike the other two.

Sooyoung focuses on the steps, hoping her sister forgot something and would leave as soon as she found it. The steps get closer to her bed though and she wonders if it’s her mom instead. Smiling she opens her eyes to greet her favorite person only to be met with soft black eyes that’s definitely not her mom’s. Her first thought is _what the fuck_ and the second is to scream at the intruder. As soon as she starts to squeal Jinsoul lurches forward to cover her mouth.

Freaked out she pushes the girl off and runs for the door but she’s grabbed and pulled back to the bed. Sooyoung jerks around trying to get out of the embrace but Jinsoul has her in a tight grip. Jinsoul then flips her over and back onto her belly, the athlete kicks around and lands one on Jinsoul’s leg but it doesn’t faze the girl. Sooyoung didn’t realize how strong the blonde had become as she’s pinned down on her now not so neatly made bed. 

“Get off me!” Sooyoung is breathing hard into the sheets, confused by the surprise visit and terrified at how aggressive Jinsoul is. Finally the blonde gets up from pressing Sooyoung’s body down, so of course, the older of the two takes the opportunity to escape. Jinsoul doesn’t let Sooyoung go too far though and grabs around her waist. Sooyoung screams and squirms around trying to break free and when Jinsoul lifts her up she kicks in the air. 

Sooyoung cannot think clearly because well Jinsoul is here about to do something to her. Murder, maybe even rob her, probably get back at her for calling her all those nasty things. So she starts to apologize for everything she’s ever done to her, “Jinsoul I am so sorry I called you all those names and that one time when I said you had the brain capacity of a walnut!” The blonde ignores her and throws her to the ground and walks over to shut and lock the door. Sooyoung’s eyes widen at the site and her heart is about to beat out of her chest. “You are so smart and pretty and amazing, I didn’t mean it when I showed you that picture of the koi fish with a pacifier and said it was you…”

Jinsoul stays silent and goes over to the closet, trying to find something. Sooyoung gets on her knees and watches as the blonde scavenges through her stuff. She watches patiently and takes in the blonde’s appearance. Jinsoul’s hair was curled in waves falling all the way down to her lower back. It looked soft to the touch and Sooyoung had wondered why she had dyed it blonde recently. She’d wouldn’t complain though since Jinsoul looked incredibly good blonde…but she wouldn’t deny that she missed the black hair either. Jinsoul was also for some reason was in professional attire. Black slacks and a blue blouse, although the seriousness was ruined by her socks that had a goldfish pattern. 

Sooyoung swallows the lump in her throat. She had no idea why Jinsoul was here and the thought scared her for some reason. The girl wasn’t used to Jinsoul being around, especially not coming on her own. These past few years Sooyoung has had to struggle to get the blonde to stay around her to just pester her but now she was everywhere. She was starting to become a part of her life again without Sooyoung putting in an exhausting effort. 

Jinsoul has always slipped through her fingers. The girl was a master at avoiding people and was even better at ignoring them. Sooyoung would find herself following after the blonde but only a second later she’d disappear. This is what Sooyoung wanted right? For Jinsoul to start paying attention, to start pursuing Sooyoung herself. Without Sooyoung asking, for her to come around because she wanted to. But then why did Sooyoung still feel like something was wrong?

The girl turns around and the objects in her hand make Sooyoung’s eyes widen. It’s her high school graduation cords. Jinsoul starts coming towards her quickly and Sooyoung goes to crawl away. She screams when her ankles are grabbed and she’s drug across the carpet and underneath Jinsoul. Her teammate has a serious look on her face and Sooyoung rolls around trying to avoid whatever Jinsoul has planned for her. 

She’s screaming as Jinsoul hogties her, first her ankles and then her hands behind her back. “Please don’t kill me, I’m begging you…I promise I didn’t mean none of those things.” Sooyoung is on the verge of tears as Jinsoul lifts her up and drags her by underneath her armpits back to the bed and Sooyoung is thrown back onto it.

Sobbing uncontrollably Jinsoul sits her up. Her tears are wiped away by Jinsoul’s hand who still hasn’t said a word the whole time. Sooyoung heaves air in and out of her lungs starting to calm down from how soothing the blonde’s touch is. Jinsoul’s gaze is soft and it makes Sooyoung feel safe like she can trust her even though she just burst into her room and tied her up like an animal. But despite all that, Sooyoung was becoming relaxed the longer Jinsoul stared at her, even leaning into the touch. “I know you didn’t mean any of it Sooyoung.”

Jinsoul smiles and stands up walking over to the door again and opening it. Now that Sooyoung wasn’t ready to piss herself she was curious on why the blonde was here in the first place. Sniffing she grimaces when snot starts to run now. She really hopes it just her imagination because she was already extremely embarrassed about her appearance. 

Sooyoung knew she was an ugly crier and she wasn’t expecting visitors so her attire wasn’t entirely appropriate. Her hair was in a messy bun, she was only in a ripped pair of panties and her the tank top she had on was old and thin…and had taco sauce stains on it. Looking down she whines when she sees how hard her nipples are. Sooyoung curses at the fan that’s directly blowing cool air on her since nipples are too sensitive.

There’s a clanging outside her door and the next thing she sees is Jinsoul packing in a stand and a big poster. Sooyoung notices that the blonde had her specs on so this must be some serious shit. But what did it have to do with her? Sooyoung doesn’t know how to describe the feeling she gets when Jinsoul sets up the stand and flips over the poster. Her insides go mushy, and she feels her whole face flame up. But most of all her heart does a backflip in her chest from joy.

Sooyoung guesses she can call it love. And it’s not the kind of love that hurts or leaves you broken. It’s familiar and safe. It’s what Sooyoung has always felt for Jinsoul. And that’s when she realizes she’ll never be able to hate Jinsoul. 

Jinsoul adjusts her glasses and giggles. Sooyoung can sense how nervous Jinsoul is just by the way she’s shuffling back and forth on her feet. Turning to Sooyoung she clears her throat and reads out the title, “um so this is my apology to Ha Sooyoung and one hundred reasons why we should become friends again.” Sooyoung doesn’t break a smile nor blink, she only watches the blonde closely who is staring at everything in the room but her. 

The poster board is covered in glittery stars and hearts. The title was made with colored foam letters and there was so much wording that Sooyoung couldn’t see it from where she was sitting, it was written too small so all of it could fit. Jinsoul scratches at her head and Sooyoung pays close attention to how her smile goes from a frown as the blonde looks over the poster board. The next thing she does is sighs, “this is so stupid.” 

The posterboard is grabbed and Sooyoung yells out when Jinsoul almost rips it in half, “no wait!” Jinsoul looks at her finally and stops the action. Sooyoung jerks her head for her to put it back up and so she does. Less nervous this time as she stares at the ground rocking on her heels. “Go ahead I’m listening.” The girl raises her head back up and Sooyoung smiles at her. Trying to convince her to continue. Maybe this was what was missing. The apology.

Jinsoul surges forward and drops to her knees. Sooyoung gasps as the blonde bends over with her head to the ground and her arms straight in front of her. She starts talking but the girl held captive can’t hear her, “you don’t have to do all that…just say it to my face.” Jinsoul raises up from her bowing position and sits on her legs. Jinsoul is blushing and scoots closer to her.

Sooyoung hates the puppy dog eyes because they always made her give in within seconds. They haven’t been used on her in a long time though. Jinsoul mumbles something under her breath, “I don’t know where to start. I practiced this all night and now my mind is blank.” 

Taking her foot she taps at the blonde’s legs, “you can start by apologizing.” Sooyoung knows she should be annoyed by the girl’s presence. She should be pissed at the girl she’s made herself hate for years barging in her home uninvited and practically assaulting her. But Sooyoung can’t bring herself to be even remotely mad. Because the girl who is staring at her with eyes that were slightly larger from the prescription frames was _her_ Jinsoul. The one who had engraved her name on Sooyoung’s heart.

“Sooyoung I am so sorry for what I put you through I…I can’t explain why I did it but I hated myself for it. I can’t tell you the number of letters I wrote to you and ended up trashing them because I knew I didn’t deserve your forgiveness.” Jinsoul rubs at her eye, not wanting to start crying when she needed to get this all out before Sooyoung changed her mind. “I hurt you. And I’m so sorry that I did. I am so sorry.” Sooyoung continues to listen to the girl. She knew Jinsoul was being sincere. The girl always cried when she was telling the truth. “I didn’t want to hurt you I promise, but I was selfish.”

“Why now?” She asks, why did it take this long for Jinsoul to apologize. 

The blonde sniffles and looks down into her hands, the teardrops falling onto them. She then giggles, “I’ve been wanting to apologize for years, just haven’t had the guts to. I guess when I went ham on you I felt like it would be as a good time as ever.” Sooyoung nods even though Jinsoul isn’t looking at her. She understands that in a sense. She hasn’t had the guts to be a mature person to Jinsoul for forever. “I felt so distant from you and it hurt a lot. And knowing that it was my fault made it hard to live with myself for a while.” 

Sooyoung then speaks up thinking that maybe she should apologize as well. She created some of that distance herself, “I’m sorry, for everything too. You hated me. I reacted the way I did because I wanted to hate you too.” 

The look that Jinsoul gives her breaks her heart in a different way. “I never took your words to heart because I know it was just you reacting like any person would I deserved every bit of it.” Sooyoung shakes her head. Why did Jinsoul hate herself so much for this? Sooyoung was starting to rethink the past. Seeing if there were any clues. She remembers how cold and empty Jinsoul was then. So different from the one she knew then and the one now.

Jinsoul was bright and caring, she was so warm. Now Jinsoul seemed broken and the light she gave off was weak. Somehow Sooyoung wanted to bring her back. She wanted Jinsoul to be that happy girl she had always known. Without a care in the world, so passionate about the simple things. Jinsoul looked tired now, the cracks in her aura were going to be her downfall if she didn’t mend herself back together. Maybe this was the first step. 

“I regret everything Sooyoung, every day I regret it. If I could go back in the past and change it I would in a heartbeat. I can’t change the past, but I’m willing to give it my all to fix it now.” Jinsoul lays her hands on Sooyoung’s knees and she can feel how sweaty the girl’s palms are. Jinsoul’s even shaking while she holds onto the girl on the bed. Sooyoung knows she’s waiting for an answer, but she’s not for sure if she has one.

Clearing her throat she puts up her guard, “I want to. But how can I trust you, I don’t know how to.” Sooyoung is afraid and so is Jinsoul, she can feel it from how the girl is gripping her legs. She has so many questions but she’s not sure the genius below her could answer them. Jinsoul is vulnerable right now and so Sooyoung doesn’t feel the need to kick her down, even though she had been done that way multiple times. “How can we just go back like none of this ever happened?” 

Jinsoul lets go of her legs and stands up, moving to sit beside Sooyoung on the bed. “I didn’t say it had to be easy.” Sooyoung can feel her shake beside her.

The blonde takes a deep breath and Sooyoung can hear the tension. “I don’t expect you to be my best friend but I’d like to grow back into that. No matter how long it takes I want you to trust me again so please let’s start over. All I can do is promise you I won’t hurt you this time.” Sooyoung cranes her neck to the side. Jinsoul is twiddling her fingers around and around. All she needs is a yes. So Sooyoung gives it to her.

Sighing she bumps the girl’s shoulder with her own, “As long as I can keep annoying you.” Jinsoul quickly jerks her gaze up to Sooyoung who is smiling. Sooyoung was ready to leave all this behind. Maybe this time with Jinsoul would be different. 

Despite her sexual attraction to the girl…because come on, she really missed Jinsoul. As a friend that is. Sooyoung didn’t know if she could handle developing feelings for Jinsoul again because the last time it left her broken and alone. She was confident she’d be able to control her heart this time around.

They had both grown a lot. Sooyoung from her first love and maturity and Jinsoul from her unknown insecurities. Jinsoul was never the one to talk about her issues. This was probably the third time Sooyoung has seen her be this open. She was emotional but it was always on the surface level, no one really knew what was going on in the blonde’s head. It gave Sooyoung all the more reason to become close to her again. She wonders if she could become even closer. 

But Sooyoung was still afraid but she had never been a pussy, if Jinsoul were to hurt her again she’d live. She just wanted to hear the blonde’s side. And now she felt closure to what had happened in the past. It was all underneath them now and they could only go up right? All they had to do now is find their rhythm again, and break boundaries and Sooyoung wasn’t for sure how long it would take. She wouldn’t mind if it took forever as long as Jinsoul was around. 

Jinsoul is now leaning her head on her shoulder. Sooyoung is still hogtied just letting the blonde rest after crying a considerable amount, “thank you Sooyoung.” 

Even though it’s a simple statement of gratitude Sooyoung can sense the words pack a deeper meaning. “You’re welcome, weirdo.” Jinsoul lifts her head up and slaps at her shoulder. Sooyoung can’t do anything but wince, pretending it hurt.

The blonde only giggles and pushes her tank strap back onto her shoulder where it had fallen off. Sooyoung watches as fingertips linger on her skin slowly sliding off when she stares too long. Looking up she pays close attention to how Jinsoul’s focus is fixated on the spot where she was just touching. Sooyoung doesn’t understand the look, she’s never received it until now, “But seriously you couldn’t have been normal about this. Taking me as a hostage? The poster board that was regurgitated by Lisa Frank?”

It takes a second for Jinsoul to tear her gaze off the fabric of her shirt. Sooyoung isn’t expecting eyes darker than black to lock with her own. “When have I ever been normal Sooyoung?” There’s a glint in Jinsoul’s eyes that confuses Sooyoung. The blonde looks away too quickly for Sooyoung to figure it out so she stays quiet as the blonde stands up. She waves her arms around making the button up come out from her pants where it was tucked in.

Jinsoul flips around and chuckles, Sooyoung knows her face is bright red since Jinsoul is finally noticing what she has on. The blonde raises a brow, “are you that excited to be friends again?” Sooyoung glances down and closes her eyes when she sees that her nipples are still…hard and poking through the fabric of the shirt. She couldn’t help that she was cold and sensitive. 

Sooyoung grumbles, “it’s the fan idiot.” Jinsoul only smiles and goes to turn the fan off that was blowing on the girl who was still tied up. Sooyoung gestures to her back for Jinsoul to undo the crazy as knot she had her in. The girl slowly makes her way over to the bed and loosens the knot. Sooyoung jerks her hands apart as soon as she can and rubs at her wrists. Bending over she gets to the rope of her ankles as well standing up once she’s finished.

Jinsoul is carefully watching her for any sudden movement. Sooyoung pretends to read the poster board and as soon as Jinsoul lets her guard down she darts to grab the blonde putting her into a headlock. “Pull that kinda shit again and I’ll ragdoll you.” Jinsoul is screaming but also giggling in the wrestling hold. Sooyoung releases her and pushes her back by the chest. The girl only stumbles a bit, clearly not minding be manhandled. 

Going back to her previous activity she reads the poster. As she rereads the title, Sooyoung rubs at her tits to warm them back up. There were goosebumps all up and down her body. She blames the chill in the room, not the intense stare her hands were receiving. Removing her hands she starts to point at certain parts of the glittery poster.

Reason 17. Our secret handshake no one knows.

Reason 33. The road trips we never got to take that we planned. 

Reason 45. We have so much fun together.

Sooyoung notices when she gets to fifty the reasons start to get more serious and emotional.

Reason 50. I’ve never met someone as sweet and thoughtful as you are.

Reason 69. I feel more at home with you than anywhere else. You’re my safety.

Reason 88. No one understands me like you do.

When she gets to reason one hundred she almost has to quit from the tears forming her eyes. Her heart stops at the moment she reads the words.

Reason 100…

_Wild strawberries._

Suddenly all nostalgia hits Sooyoung and her heart pounds. She really can’t blame the chill for this one. Rubbing at her eye she straightens back up. Sooyoung crosses her arms and scans over the details. Jinsoul is waiting patiently for her to speak up. “Hmm I give it a nine too much green, not enough red.” Sooyoung groans when she’s pushed for her critique. 

They stare at each other after that, although it was mere seconds it feels like an eternity. Jinsoul is the one that breaks it first. Sooyoung didn’t even realize how lost she was becoming in Jinsoul’s gaze. The blonde then smiles sadly and points at the poster board, “guess I should get going, don’t wanna bother you too much.” Jinsoul hesitates for a moment, waiting for Sooyoung to tell her to stay. But it never comes.

Sooyoung steps back as Jinsoul takes the poster and stand down. The blonde turns and bows again, “Thank you again Sooyoung, see you tomorrow.” Sooyoung doesn’t say anything. Rolling her eyes she just points at the door. Jinsoul slumps her shoulders and walks out but not before looking back with a pout. 

“Out Jinsoul.” The blonde pouts even more and shuffles out of the room. Sooyoung waits for a few moments before going to her window to watch Jinsoul leave. To make sure she left. Having the blonde in her room was starting to suffocate her so she was glad the girl left before she became irritated. She watches the vehicle rock and forth, since Jinsoul seemed to be confused about what was drive and reverse before it takes off in the right direction.

Sooyoung lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Sooyoung resumes her afternoon relaxation. She turns the fan back on and lays in the bed face down in the pillow. Except this time she’s burning hot, the fan doing nothing to lower her temperature.

And her mind is filled with thoughts with only one subject. Jung Jinsoul…and how weird she is.

Oh how she wishes her sisters were here now to distract her.

… 

“Ready?” 

“Ready as I’ll ever be BamBam.” Yeojin taps at the microphone. She takes a quick look over the crowd and begins, “Gooooood afternoon ladies and gentleman!” 

BamBam waits until the tiny girl is finished before he says the next line, “today is the first day of the BBW women’s beach volleyball tournament!” Yeojin elbows him in the side and points to the paper. BamBam rubs at his side and glares at the girl before glancing at the words she’s pointing out. He jumps to the microphone again once he reads, “my mistake this is the BBC women’s beach volleyball tournament.” 

Rolling her eyes Yeojin goes back to the script, “That’s right folks! So today’s going to be filled with lots of fun in the sun, fierce competition, and a whooooole lot of ass.” BamBam covers the girl’s mic with his hands and gives her a death glare. The crowd below becomes confused as the static flows through the speakers and the sound falls in and out.

BamBam seethes out, “Are you fucking stupid?” 

Grabbing the microphone out of the boy’s hand, she covers it with her own as she snaps back, “fuck off fairy boy you know half of these people come just for the hotties.” BamBam only rolls his eyes and puts his announcer voice back on.

“Right so Yeojin,” he makes sure to give her a warning look, “tells us about the BBC tournament. What should we expect?” 

Yeojin runs a finger across her throat and silently curses at her co-host. Smiling after flips her off she speaks into the mic. “The BBC tournament is a 3-day event, double elimination so that means the teams can lose once before being knocked off the brackets, but if they lose they will be placed with a higher seed next game.” BamBam makes a sound to seem like he’s interested. But he’d much rather be riding his motorcycle through the city.

Giving the girl a fake smile he asks, “ah I see! So what kind of teams are here today? Who are the picks for this tournament and who should we be watching?” 

“Ah glad you asked that we predict that the winners of the tournament will be last year’s pair. Kim Doyeon and Im Jin-ah.” Yeojin informs with a point of a finger. 

BamBam asks another question, “and they’re a bit notorious for being sisters no?” 

The girl shakes her head, “they’re only half-siblings actually but still, they’re quite unique. The sisters are perfectly synchronized.” 

Sooyoung is down on the sand stretching her limbs. Kim and Im…the names left a sour taste in her mouth. She was sure she’d have to face them some point in the tournament and with Jinsoul as her partner she wasn’t feeling very confident. Sooyoung knows she shouldn’t doubt the girl, but after the way they’ve played together…she wasn’t sure if they really were a good match. 

She really wanted them to be though.

“But the Loona Academy is fierce competition as well all because of their secret weapon, Ha Sooyoung panther of the sand,” Yeojin informs the crowd with a real smile on her face. She’d always been a fan of the athlete because despite her short, tiny stature she always gave the best of the best a run for their money. Ha Sooyoung may not have the skills and physique as top athletes but she makes up for it with her strong will to play hard and her spirit that never seems to give up no matter how bad the game is. 

Yeojin liked to describe her as a firecracker. She was an explosive player and so quick on her feet it was hard to follow her. No one could ruin the girl’s confidence and love for the game. It was amazing sometimes to watch her. How her effort never gave in and how aggressive she could get when playing. Yeojin was excited for today. She was Sooyoung’s biggest fan. 

Sooyoung finishes out stretching standing up to shake out the rest of the tightness in her body. The anticipation was building but so were the nerves. Sooyoung needed to focus, but this was the first time she’s been a little nauseous before a game.

Of course she and Jinsoul were the first to play. It was already hotter than hell out and it was half an hour till the game. Jinsoul was somewhere, probably warming up with Haseul since Sooyoung still refused to despite them ‘ _making up’_ yesterday. Sooyoung was still uncomfortable with the girl, she couldn’t help it. Done with stretching she walks to the bleaches where her own little fan section sat, her sisters, Chaewon and unfortunately Jungeun.

The girl groans when her twin sisters take a hold of her, Yerim squeezing her into a hug from behind while Hyejoo messes up her bun. Sooyoung swats at them both but they only giggle showering their sister in more affection as she gets embarrassed. “Stop Hyejoo that hurts…where’s mom?” Sooyoung turns to the girls and they shrug. Sooyoung couldn’t help but be disappointed as she sits down.

Whenever her mom would come to games it would make her whole day. “She and Auntie are at the concession stand.” All of them turn to the voice. Hyunjin is standing in a large t-shirt handing a Gatorade and water to Sooyoung. Smiling she takes the beverages out of Hyunjin’s hands and thanks her. The girl doesn’t say anything, her face not moving a muscle as she sits practically on top of Sooyoung. 

Sooyoung is groaning about the pain in her legs and pushes her sister off who was ignoring the protests when Chaewon asks, “Hey Soo where’s Jinsoul?” The older girl shrugs, although she was starting to freak out since Jinsoul is nowhere to be found and the game was gonna start soon. She didn’t want to lose her composure though. She was glad everyone was around to distract each other.

But one by one they start to leave. Yerim is the first to hop down, “Hyejoo lets go get some nerd ropes and hit people with them!” The other sixteen-year-old sighs and crawls down as well. Sooyoung watches as they walk off with a lump in her throat. Chaewon mumbles something out and leaves as well. Hyunjin spots her girlfriend and stands up from the sand walking off to the other side of the courts.

Now it was just Sooyoung and Jungeun. The ash-blonde clears her throat, “so are you-.”

“I’m freaking out right now.” Sooyoung is staring at the sand. She can’t believe what just came out of her mouth. Sooyoung was never nervous about a game but why was this so scary? Jungeun lays a hand on her arm and something snaps in Sooyoung. Turning she starts to ramble, Jungeun just stares at her with eyes wide open as the girl goes on and on about what could go wrong.

Sooyoung doesn’t even realize how long she’s been going until Coach V is standing in front of with a menacing glare, “HaSoo it’s time for the coin toss where’s Jung?” Sooyoung feels panic rising in her chest as she whips her head around to where the referee and the opposing team are standing. Bolting up she runs over to the three. She feels like she’s going to throw up. 

The referee raises a brow, “where’s your teammate?” Sooyoung chuckles nervously. Jinsoul was never late. Frantically looking over the area she spots Haseul and raises a finger to the ref to give her a moment. The two girls across from her laugh, mocking her but Sooyoung doesn’t give a shit. The ref calls out to her as she sprints to the girl with the bob.

Haseul is casually sitting beside the rest of the team looking around with a worried expression. When she makes it in front of the girl, Sooyoung stops, “where is Jinsoul?” Haseul reaches out and grabs her arm, probably trying to calm her down since she practically yelled at her.

The girl frowns when Sooyoung pulls her arm away and looks down to the ground, “I could ask the same thing, she disappeared when I went to get a water half an hour ago.” Sooyoung lets out a frustrated groan and thanks the girl anyways and starts to sprint around the place. She goes to the practice nets, parking lot, under the bleachers, around the concession and rest area. Nowhere, Jinsoul was nowhere to be found. 

Her last option is the bathroom and makes her way in. “Jinsoul?” She calls out but there’s no answer. Sooyoung listens closely and her ears pick up on a quiet whimper towards the back. Sooyoung slowly makes her way down to the last stall, the only one occupied. She leans over a tad and looks at the feet. They’re bare and they have a promising accessory. It’s the ankle bracelet that Jinsoul always wears.

Pounding on the door she starts to yell, “Yo Jinsoul what are you doing? Taking a shit? Beating off? Come on let’s go!” Sooyoung listens for a moment but there’s no reply. Getting on her hands and knees she looks under the stall. Jinsoul is sitting there in her swimsuit uniform with her face buried in her hands. Well, she was not shitting, or fucking herself but still being extremely annoying. Sooyoung saw how the girl’s shoulders shook and heard the small whimpers.

She’s starting to wish Jinsoul was shitting. That would have been a better excuse. Grabbing onto the top of the stall door she climbs up and over much to Jinsoul’s surprise. The blonde quickly stands up and Sooyoung grabs her by the throat. In all her years of being pissed at Jinsoul, she thinks this is only the second time it’s been a real frustration. Bloodshot eyes widen and she makes a small choking noise at the grasp. Sooyoung just had a hold of her, she wasn’t squeezing her or anything. She just needed to be taken seriously. Shaky hands grab her wrist as she starts to lowly talk to Jinsoul. Yelling would just make her more upset.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing we have a game to play.” Jinsoul whimpers as Sooyoung shakes her a bit. “Here I am freaking out because I don’t know where my teammate is and to find out she’s in the bathroom crying like a little baby makes me feel like a joke.” The blonde closes her eyes and Sooyoung can feel her swallow against her palm.

Relaxing her grip she moves her hand down to lay it flat against Jinsoul’s chest. Sooyoung sighs at how fast the girl’s heart is beating. It was about to bust against her hand. Sooyoung grabs the back of Jinsoul’s neck and leads her out of the stall and in front of the mirrors. Jinsoul’s hair was a mess, “hair tie?” Jinsoul is too panicked to hear her so Sooyoung takes it off of the girl’s wrist and starts pulling the blond hair into a low bun.

Jinsoul is still shaking like crazy so Sooyoung pulls her hair a bit. She jerks a bit harder when the blonde doesn’t look up and Jinsoul whimpers when Sooyoung tugs too hard forcing their eyes to lock in the mirror. “Get out of your head, you’re thinking too much.” Jinsoul nods slowly and Sooyoung finishes tying the bun. 

Keeping her eyes on Jinsoul she brings her hand up to cover the red-rimmed eyes. Jinsoul shudders at her touch. Sooyoung pulls the trembling body into her own and places her hand back over Jinsoul’s chest. Her goal is to get that heartbeat as steady as possible. She starts to whisper directly into Jinsoul’s ear, “Listen to me it’s okay.” The heartbeat slows down a lot but it’s still going too fast for Sooyoung’s liking.

“I don’t care if we lose this game, but if you go out there and embarrass me or yourself I’ll kill you.” The heart rate spikes up. 

“Just kidding.” It slightly goes back down.

Sooyoung brings the girl a little bit closer to her, “It’s just one game. If you play the hardest you can then everything will be okay. We have all season to work on the things you can’t do with just effort. I promise I’ve got your back, let’s just try to have fun.” With every word spoken the heart rate descends until it’s finally at a safe pace. Jinsoul sighs and leans into her touch. 

Jinsoul had always freaked about things like this and Sooyoung was always there to calm her down. She would always do this for Jinsoul when they were little. Before the science fair in fifth grade, when Jinsoul had her first swimming class and especially when Jinsoul would wreck her bike. She’d cover her eyes since the blonde found comfort in the darkness and she’d place her hand over the pounding chest to show Jinsoul it wouldn’t pop out no matter how fast it beat.

It almost always worked and Sooyoung was thankful because she couldn’t afford her partner having a panic attack today. Once she takes her hands off the blonde quickly turns around. Sooyoung knows they should get going but her feet are planted to the ground entranced by quivering lips, “Sooyoung I-.”

“I’m only telling you this one more time five minutes and then I’m calling the game.” Vivi has never experienced something this ridiculous with her players. Stomping at the ground she demands for more time but the referee only shakes his head. 

Yeojin is starting to get worried too. Jung Jinsoul had no stats whatsoever because she had never played until now. In a game that counted that is. Now she was Ha Sooyoung’s partner? Yeojin hoped the player wasn’t dragged down by this mystery girl but judging by this rough start of the tournament she was praying that Kim Jungeun had a miracle recovery.

Vivi is about to call over her next best bet. Jiwoo and Hyunjin. Just when she was about to change her lineup she hears distant screaming. Vivi rolls her eyes as the pair is running towards her both. They’re both out of breath and a little red-faced from the hot weather. The referee is still pissed as he asks the girls to introduce themselves.

Sooyoung is the first, putting back on her arrogant persona since it always riled up other players and Jinsoul just greets the other team shyly. The two across from them share a look before turning back, they don’t return the handshake so Sooyoung’s and Jinsoul’s hand are outstretched awkwardly. The taller one introduces herself first, “Lee Chaeyoung.” She gives a genuine smile but receives a jab to the ribs by her teammate. 

A smaller girl but still a bit taller than Sooyoung, “Jang Gyuri.” The ref shows them the coin and pulls Sooyoung and Gyuri to the center. They know the drill and Sooyoung calls out head before the other girl can even say anything. The coin lands on tails but the girl seems to be very confident and gives Sooyoung the serve. What a mistake that was.

Sooyoung is heading off with Jinsoul beside her until their coach pulls them back by the elbow and practically spits in their face, “next time you all give me a heart attack like that I’m sitting you two out for a week.” Jinsoul apologizes to the woman, telling her it won’t happen again. The referee gives Sooyoung the game ball before climbing up his podium so he can watch the net.

She only nods at Jinsoul before going to position. Taking a deep breath she says a silent prayer for this game to go remotely well. Standing behind the line she rotates the ball in her hand. Sooyoung looks toward the girl in the front, particularly her ass, waiting for a signal. But it never comes, “come on Jinsoul.” Sooyoung has about five seconds to figure out where to place the ball for the whistle blows.

It's hard to see that far and she only guesses the placement before tossing the ball in the air and chasing after it. The serve is perfect and ends up being an ace. Flying straight over Jang’s head and falling behind her before Lee could get to it. Sooyoung smirks at the other side earning herself a glare from the shorter one. Jinsoul tells her good job but she doesn’t reply, she knows she’s good.

Lining herself back up she notices how Jang has scooted back now and Lee a little to the right. Letting her gaze travel back to Jinsoul she groans when there is still no signal. “The signal…” Sooyoung has to take a different approach since the two could easily receive a serve like the last one. She serves it a little easier this time it barely making it over the net and Lee has to dig to get the ball in the air. 

Sooyoung runs to the front as Jang sets it and stays behind Jinsoul who was against the net ready to block. The ball comes hurling back over when Lee attacks, Jinsoul only getting fingertips on it but Sooyoung was thankfully fast enough to pass it back up. Jinsoul plants her feet on the ground and sets it. Sooyoung doesn’t like it but she’ll have to deal with it and chases after it striking at it as soon as she jumps up. The set was too far out though so Sooyoung ends up hitting it out of bounds. Giving the other team the other point

Most of the game was Sooyoung scoring points by slamming down on the ball and serving. The other team only getting points from the mistakes that Jinsoul makes along with Sooyoung’s effort to fix them. It’s a sloppy game from both teams, the only difference is that both players are giving it there all on the other side. 

Sooyoung, however, is stuck with Jinsoul, who is too afraid to attack the nets. She plays it too safe for someone who makes too many mistakes. Every time she bumps it over Coach V pops a blood vessel by yelling at her. Sooyoung swears the woman is going to have a stroke. The first set goes to Lee and Jang. They had a five-point lead on them. 

Sooyoung is struggling to keep her cool. From the 16 points, they had Sooyoung had scored 15 of them. The only one Jinsoul had scored was from a lucky serve. She was carrying them and Jinsoul was doing nothing but saying sorry over and over again. Sooyoung looks into the crowd and spots her mother. The woman is smiling wildly and holds up her poster with Sooyoung’s name on it. Her frustration disappears and she turns back to the nets.

The next set goes a lot better, well Sooyoung is practically killing the game by herself. The other team struggles to keep up with her and they end up at 19 to 20. Sooyoung is almost dying from exhaustion and Jinsoul looks like she hasn’t broken a sweat. Sooyoung isn’t annoyed with her, but she had plans for the blonde tomorrow. A lot of them. 

Unfortunately, the other team is up by one and Jinsoul is up to serve. Sooyoung gives her a signal but she’s sure the blonde won’t even look. Sooyoung’s theory isn’t proven right or wrong. Since the ball slaps into the net instead of going over it. 

That’s game. 

Sooyoung shakes the player’s hands and hates how they smirk at her. She hates it even more when they don’t even shake Jinsoul’s hand. Grabbing the taller one she stares darkly into her eyes. The girl is petrified and goes to shake Jinsoul’s hand who was on the verge of tears. It was a terrible feeling losing a game, especially when it wasn’t even fun.

About to walk to her family she’s grabbed by a sweaty hand. Turning around she meets Jinsoul’s gaze, the same one from earlier when they were in the bathroom. Sooyoung recalls what the girl said to her.

 _Jinsoul fumbles over her words, “Sooyoung I…I’m sorry I’m always disappointing you.”_

Jinsoul is opening her mouth and Sooyoung knows the girl is just going to apologize for the one-hundredth time. So Sooyoung cuts her off before she can even say anything, “it’s okay Jinsoul. You’ll get better.” The blonde only nods her head before letting Sooyoung go. 

Coach V yells out to them both, “Next game is tomorrow at eleven, be there or I’m sitting you out.” Sooyoung gives her a thumbs up while Jinsoul is pulled in by the woman and dragged off into a direction. She stops for a moment watching them, smiling as Coach V comforts the blonde while pointing towards the courts. 

Sooyoung heads to her family. Her mother already waiting for her with open arms. Sooyoung easily falls into the embrace and the older woman tells her she’d done great despite the outcome. The girl huffs in her mom’s arms as her twin sisters pat her on the back, the other one just giving her a thumbs down with an arm slung over Heejin’s shoulders. Sooyoung flips her off and gets scolded, “Soo don’t be mean to your sister.”

She rolls her eyes and goes to hug her auntie. She was the quietest one out of all of them always. Hyunjin took after her a lot. Sooyoung chats idly among her family, even after losing terribly she was relaxed. As Hyunjin is repeating a story Sooyoung looks across the courts ignoring the current game going on. Jinsoul is sitting alone, watching the rally. Her head bobbles left to right. “You know you can go sit with her, we get to see you all the time.” 

Her mother whispers into her ear, making her flush bright red. Sooyoung has an urge to go and sit with the girl who is now shuffling her feet in the sand but she doesn’t. She can’t make herself, “it’s fine.” Her mom only hums. She didn’t really know that she and Jinsoul weren’t really on good terms now. The woman would ever so often ask why Jinsoul wasn’t around. Or simply telling Sooyoung to invite her over for dinner.

Sooyoung would always come up with an excuse, “you two were inseparable remember? I’m going have to pull out the old home videos.” Groaning she asks her mom to stop. But of the course, the woman keeps blabbering. Sooyoung keeps her eyes on the blonde. She doesn’t have her phone out she isn’t talking to anyone and now she isn’t even watching the game. “She’s gotten so pretty hasn’t she Sooyoung? That’s not the same chubby cheeked Jinsoul I knew.”

Her mother spoke nothing but the truth. She’s starting to get a little restless in her seat and goes to stand up. Turning her mother smiles at her knowing that she’s going over the girl but Sooyoung is distracted by the buzzing in her ball shorts pocket. Flipping the phone over she rolls her eyes at the caller ID. She makes her way down the bleaches as she answers, cringing at the sultry voice when she does, “Hey baby.” 

Sooyoung looks at her family and mouths _work_ to them. Her mother is the only one that nods understandably. “Yeah what’s up Sori?” 

The girl hums over the phone, “nothing I just miss you. Been thinking about you a lot.” Sooyoung can tell where this is going by the deep tone and husk over the line. “You know, late at night.” She says nothing as the girl starts to breathe heavier, “with nothing on.” 

“I get it,” Sooyoung says back and the giggle doesn’t affect her. Looking up she groans when she notices Jinsoul is missing from her spot, all her stuff gone as well. 

Sori takes the groan as a compliment, “hmm does my baby miss me that much too?” Sooyoung wants to tell her no and hang up.

Instead, she comes up with an excuse, “I’m busy.”

The next words that come out of the girl’s mouth change her mind, “I have a blunt rolled.”

“I’ll be there in twenty.” Hanging up she turns back to grab her bag and informs the group that she was called into work. It was an emergency. None of them seem to pay attention and wave her off. Her mother gives her a kiss and a pat on the back before she goes. Sooyoung has no guilt. She’d see her family tonight. The only lingering feeling that she has is the wish that Jinsoul was still sitting in that same spot.

Then she wouldn’t have even bothered with Sori.

… 

#####(rated M stuff)

Sooyoung had finished the blunt a few minutes ago. Staring up above her whole body feels numb and she’s sure that Sori didn’t have swirls on the ceiling. Sooyoung focuses on how it moves, she doesn’t think ceilings can do that. There’s this weird feeling down below like she had forgotten to wipe. Her head is stuck in place so she has to takes her own hands to tilt it back down.

“Woah!” She had completely forgotten about Sori. The girl was giving her head and Sooyoung didn’t even notice because well the girl wasn’t that good at it and the fact that she was zooted to the point of no return. Sooyoung starts to giggle at the girl’s face, she was way too concentrated on her pussy. Sori’s tongue is swirling all over the place but nowhere that feels good. Sori moans while keeping eye contact with her. 

Sooyoung is trying really hard to keep the laugh in but the tongue inside her tickles too much. Sooyoung would like it to end soon so she can actually enjoy this high. “Wow! Oh my god, I’m coming!” She belts out and starts to laugh hard at how ridiculous she sounds. Sori removes her mouth and frowns. Sooyoung usually faked it but now it was comedic at how bad Sori was because the new had worn off. 

Saliva was all over Sori’s face and Sooyoung giggles, “you been to the oyster bar?” Sori rolls her eyes clearly getting fed up with the girl and wipes at her face. The red-head starts to climb on top of her, she only sinks into the mattress. 

The low voice invades her mind, “no you taste better than oysters.”

Sooyoung winks and fights the hands off that tries to take her shirt off, “stop it pervert…then what does it taste like?” 

Sori is kissing on the side of her face now. Wet lips trace the outer shell of her ear, “like the sweetest thing on earth.”

“Oh really? You taste like rib dinner.” The kisses stop and Sori leans up. Sooyoung panics as she sees the fire started behind the girl's eyes so she backtracks, “I mean I love rib dinner it’s great.”

Sooyoung starts to think about how good a rib dinner would be right now. She was starving since she hasn’t eaten that much today. The game had also made her extremely hungry. Sex was the last thing on her mind. 

Sori starts to whine, “Seriously Sooyoung you’re so childish my pussy does not taste like smoked meat. Like, say it taste like strawberries or something.” The girl rolls her eyes at that. But the mention of strawberries takes her mind to a different place. A place much warmer than this. Somewhere she would rather be then some broke bitch’s apartment whose pussy tasted like cookout.

The redhead rolls over and tells Sooyoung she’d like to get fucked now, pointing towards the drawer. Sooyoung sits on the edge of the bed staring at her feet that were in the sand no but an hour ago. She wonders if Jinsoul was still there watching the games. Shaking her head to get rid of the thoughts since if she did it any longer she’d go into a weed comatose. Where you get fixated on _one thing_ and stare at the wall thinking about that _one thing_ until the high went away. Sooyoung did not want Jinsoul to be that _one thing_ while she was sitting right beside someone she was about to fuck. Her shoulder is pushed harshly and Sooyoung frowns. 

Sighing she stands up and wobbles towards the drawer. She giggles when her legs shake a bit. Sooyoung was way too high for this but by the stare, she was receiving she would probably get murdered if she didn’t get this strap on. Opening the drawer she closes it again. Once again the high gets to her as she pulls the drawer open and closed liking the noise it makes. 

“Sooyoung!”

Mumbling under her breath she grabs the pink strap. “Hey Pepto-Bismol.” Giggling she flops the jelly dick around.

“I told you to stop calling it that.” Sooyoung frowns again, she was just trying to have fun but this girl was ruining her high. Lifting it down she tries to put her leg through the loop but fails. When she finally get it through she groans when it’s the wrong way.

After several minutes she finally has it on and turns to the girl who is already on her hands and knees. “Hurry up I need you baby.”

Sooyoung hates the voice. It’s starting to become so annoying. Sori arches her back as Sooyoung climbs onto the bed. Sooyoung would like to just lay here but the dripping mess in front of her is telling her that she has something she needs to do. “You like how wet I am for you?” Sooyoung could care less honestly. At first things like this were exciting but she knew she was hot. Someone rejecting her would turn her on more than someone begging for her.

“Sure it’s cool I guess.”

Lining it up Sori talks again, “fuck me please, I’m all yours baby.” Sooyoung scoffed and rammed in it. The girl below her screams. Sooyoung wants to get this over with so she can go eat something. Sori always liked to go a few rounds though. Staring down at the unraveling body she grimaces. Maybe she should cut Sori off already.

She had more things to worry about now, like volleyball, work, and…Jinsoul. Sooyoung closes her eyes, she did not want to think about Jinsoul right now especially when she was doing the hokey pokey to some girl’s pussy. The worst thing imaginable happens though and Sooyoung starts to have vivid images of her teammate. She blames it on her imagination, the atmosphere, and most of all the high. 

Sooyoung squeezes her eyes tighter. Jinsoul looked too good today and she hadn’t really thought about it until now. Even after she realized that Jinsoul was never going to give her a signal when she served she made sure to stare at the girl’s ass. Her hands roam down the body below her. It was too skinny. It was not as soft as she wanted to be. But with a little bit of creativity, the body becomes a lot fuller. 

Picking up her pace Sori moans, “you’re fucking me so good!” It throws Sooyoung off but after a few minutes, she’s panting, thinking of how nice Jinsoul’s curves were and how her muscles rippled whenever she’d navigate the sand. Sooyoung thought of how wavy hair swayed and pearly whites shined every time she smiled. She thought of how gorgeous Jinsoul is. Sooyoung wanted it to be her moaning her name so bad. But that reality would never happen.

Bending over she plants her face in between _Jinsoul’s_ shoulders. The hair she’s pulling and the ass she’s grabbing is _Jinsoul’s_. Sooyoung swears the smell of coconuts appear and she bites down on the shoulder moaning when the body underneath her shudders. She remembers how Jinsoul touched her when she had come over to apologize. How it was aggressive and then all too soft. Sooyoung remembers how Jinsoul’s eyes lingered on her skin.

All the sudden Sooyoung loves the idea of sex, but when she opens her eyes and expects to see blonde hair threaded in her hand she freezes. Sori chokes out a moan and opens her eyes as well. The red-head lifts herself up, “what did you say?” Sooyoung backs away, the stare is way too intense to be lust driven. This was wrath. 

#####

“Damn Sori?” The red-head is shaking as she pushes Sooyoung off and onto the floor. The athlete giggles and starts to crawl back holding her hands up in defense. Sori is standing above her now with fist clenched. Sooyoung can see how hard her jaw is moving, the girl was grinding her teeth.

She screams when Sori turns and grabs a pair of scissors off her desk and runs toward Sooyoung. Standing she tries to run off but Sori grabs her by the strap and drags her around the room. “WHO THE FUCK IS JINSOUL?” Sooyoung cringes at the shrill voice. 

Sori is pulling her around trying to get her to come back in the middle of the room when the dildo pops from the harness sending the both of them flying. Sooyoung bangs into the desk groaning at the pain in her lower back. Sori falls to the bed with Pepto-Bismol in hand. Sooyoung watches as the girl starts to sob and cut up the toy with the scissors. She frowns as pink chunks fall to the floor. 

“Man I gave you like fifty dollars to buy that thing.” She mumbles and the girl literally growls at her.

Sori throws down the scissors and the base of the dildo, “so? My heart was priceless and you ripped it to shreds.” Sooyoung blinks at the girl on the bed. She honestly didn’t feel bad at all for her. Who she did feel sorry for however was Jinsoul. Sooyoung felt a little sick from thinking of the girl that way. Jinsoul didn’t deserve that, Sooyoung didn’t want to ever fantasize about her like that again. 

“Jung Jinsoul…the astronomy major right? The bitch with the blonde bundles.” Sooyoung’s mouth forms an O. Well Jinsoul’s hair was…real and she was surprised that Sori knew so much about her.

Sori scoffs, “don’t play dumb with me Sooyoung! I have seen you lurking on her Instagram page multiple times when you were laying in the bed with ME!” Covering her mouth she doesn’t know whether to laugh or run away. Was she really that obvious? Again? Did everyone notice her obsession with Jinsoul? 

“So that’s what you like huh? When we’re having sex you’re really thinking of her and that big ol’ juicy fat ass just bouncing and bouncing.” Sooyoung stares at the tiny girl. The red-head was giving her a death glare and stands up and continues to ramble on more crazy shit, “a big juicy ass that I don’t have!” 

Sooyoung backs away as the girl starts to step forward. She really couldn’t take her seriously when she was naked like this, “you know somebody gonna love these itty bitty titties and this deflated pancake soufflé ass.”

Dodging the girl’s groping hands, she listens to the crying as she packs her stuff up, “am I not pretty enough for you? This is the way God made me why don’t you LOVE ME?” 

Throwing her shorts on she heaves her stuff on her back, “because you’re a psycho!” Sooyoung yells back and pushes past the girl and out the door. She hears screaming again and a few rumbles. Probably Sori throwing things. Sooyoung runs down the steps and onto the streets gasping for air. When she’s in the clear she finally starts laughing so hard tears break from her eyes.

Pulling her phone she calls Chaewon. It takes a few rings before the girl answers, “yo come pick me up!”

“No I’m busy!” Sooyoung rolls her eyes at her friend. She was all the way across town and didn’t have her bus card or any change. 

Sooyoung groans into the phone, “please! Come on I don’t got a ride.” 

Chaewon hums over the phone and Sooyoung can hear her talking to someone, “I’ll tell Jinsoul to I’m sending her your location right now.” 

“What? No!” The line goes dead and Sooyoung stares at the screen. She regrets letting Chaewon have her location all the time and vice versa. Looking at her friend’s location she scoffs when she sees she’s at the pawn shop. What on earth was she doing there? Sooyoung goes to sit down on a bench. She really needed to clear her mind before Jinsoul got here. 

She was still slightly worked up from earlier. If she saw the blonde right now she doesn’t know what kind of feeling she would have. All she knew is she didn’t want to be horny when Jinsoul arrived. Sooyoung didn’t want to be that kind of person. Like some jerk who only thought with their meat. Breathing in and out she slowly starts to calm down. She and Jinsoul were just starting to become friendly again. She couldn’t ruin it because she was gay and didn’t know how to act around pretty girls.

Sooner than she expected a blue jeep pulls up. Sooyoung raises her brows as the driver rolls down the window. 

Jinsoul has a blank expression on her face. But Sooyoung feels her insides melt when the expression flips around and now she’s staring a bright smile with chubby cheeks puffed up. Sooyoung clenches at her bag. Maybe getting friendly with Jinsoul was a bad idea. Because after the incident not but twenty moments ago and this hard thumping in her chest she was sure that she didn’t think of Jinsoul as just a friend...

But she would try to get over this. For Jinsoul before it drove them apart. She would do anything to not mess this up again and she was sure thinking about her 24/7 with thoughts of…certain actives were not really the best start. But it was so hard when the blonde smiled at her like that.

She misses when Jinsoul hated her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hmm I cut this off because I got to 10k this is part one to the tournament arc. I quoted Professor Tox in this I think you all should check her out, she is my future wife. Her Instagram is just @professortox

Thank you and enjoy! MUAH XOXO


	5. Tournament arc 2/2

Actually, Sooyoung was glad Jinsoul liked her again…a lot because the girl had taken her to her favorite taco truck after she had picked her up. The car ride was awkward, Jinsoul staying silent and Sooyoung too traumatized by Sori. It didn’t feel weird to her, being with Jinsoul after thinking of her like that. Sooyoung was starting to think she didn’t have any lingering feeling for her just had this annoying attraction. 

The blonde is sitting across from her watching her put away the tacos. She’s already ate six of them, four more on the table. Sooyoung moans stuffing another one in her mouth. Her mouth is full when she speaks, “are you sure you don’t want one?” Jinsoul has a funny expression. Her brows are raised and her mouth in a small smirk as she shakes her head no.

Jinsoul had bought her the food. Now the blonde was just watching her. After finishing it she washes it down with some soda. Beating her chest she burps earning a few stares of disgust from the surrounding people, but Jinsoul just continues to smile at her. 

Wiping her mouth with her hand she apologizes, “sorry…that was gross.” Jinsoul tilts her head and laughs a bit. Sooyoung doesn’t really know what to do now. She wasn’t hungry or horny anymore. Just tired and wanted to go home. But Jinsoul was looking at her like she was expecting something and Sooyoung tries to ignore it.

It’s too hard though and she lets her eyes travel to Jinsoul. It’s not a surprise when she’s met with soft black eyes, “what?”

Jinsoul jumps in her seat, “Nothing I…sorry it’s just weird.” Eyes that were locked with hers fall to the table. 

“What is?” Sooyoung asks.

Jinsoul brings her eyes back to hers Sooyoung can’t describe the look she’s receiving, “us, I wouldn’t think things would ever go back to normal after I messed up so many times.” Sooyoung narrows her eyes at the girl. Jinsoul was being sincere but there was something she was holding back.

Then again she doesn’t want to talk about the past anymore. Jinsoul was different during that weird phase, but this was the same girl she had grown up with. Or almost the same, there was still something different about Jinsoul now. Sooyoung really couldn’t put her finger on it.

“Hmm, we were never that normal Jinsoul. You remember the garden right? I don’t really see us getting that close again.” Sooyoung leans over the table to look at the girl, liking how a blush forms on her cheeks. But it also makes her think. Did she really want to go back to being that close? The last time it completely ruined her. The thoughts of Jinsoul’s garden left an empty feeling in her chest.

Of course, Jinsoul argues, “do you not want to be? That close again I mean I know it might be-.”

“Seriously we’re friends again isn’t that enough? We don’t have to cling to each other.” Sooyoung snaps and regrets it when she watches the small smile turn into a frown. What did Jinsoul want from her? When they were younger it was easier to do stuff like that. Now it would just be awkward. She wasn’t sure she was comfortable with Jinsoul yet.

Jinsoul turns her eyebrows upward and pouts, “but you love when I hug you and…stuff.”

“That was like ten years ago dumbass.” Jinsoul’s pout becomes more effective her cheeks even puffing up. Maybe Sooyoung shouldn’t be so harsh. “You can’t be serious right?” 

Jinsoul nods and brings her fingers to press at her cheeks, “I’ve had a bad day.” Sooyoung would like to tell Jinsoul how bad of a day she’s had but she doesn’t want to invalidate the blonde’s feelings.

“Then what do you want?” Jinsoul smiles when she asks and stands up to skip over to her side of the table. Sooyoung widens her eyes as the blonde squeezes in next to her. Arms wrap around her waist and Jinsoul plops her chin on her shoulder. 

Sooyoung figures out that apparently, affection came easy to Jinsoul after years of tension. She was already comfortable with Sooyoung in a span of a few weeks. She has to remind herself that Jinsoul only apologized yesterday. It was like the girl was waiting on Sooyoung to let her guard down so she can crawl back into her likeness. Jinsoul knew exactly what she wanted while Sooyoung was thrown into confusing feelings.

“Cuddles…we have to make up for all the years when we were fighting.” Sooyoung blinks at the blonde. Although she was having conflicting thoughts about Jinsoul’s intentions she can’t help but like this…a lot. How Jinsoul is wrapped around her, fingers tickling at her full tummy. “Is this too much?” Sooyoung guesses it’s not too bad. Not as bad as she thought. It was nice but it didn’t make her heart race. It just felt safe and familiar.

Sooyoung leans into her and Jinsoul giggles snuggling into her shoulder, “no I guess not.” Jinsoul gives her an opened mouth smile and makes a babyish noise. Sooyoung spaces out as the blonde pretty much makes her body her personal teddy bear.

Jinsoul scoots further into her side, “I missed my Soobunny so much.” She shudders at the pet name and slowly pushes the girl off of her despite the protests. If Jinsoul wanted to be this close again Sooyoung needed to set her boundaries.

Sooyoung holds up one finger, “We’re grownups now you cannot baby me.” Jinsoul gets a little angry and goes to argue but Sooyoung shoves the finger in her face, “you are limited to one display of affection a day.” In the old days, Sooyoung would be suffocated by how much Jinsoul would hug and kiss her. She says the final thing with a wiggle of her finger, “If you annoy me at any time I will murder you.”

The blonde rolls her eyes and grabs one of the forgotten tacos. Sooyoung watches as the girl crams it in. Some of the sauce spilling out of the corner of her lips. She for sure couldn’t handle those lips on her now without doing something stupid.

“I thought it would take you a lot longer to want to be this way again.” She speaks her mind, was Sooyoung the only one having trouble with this? It was like none of that shit really happened or it just didn’t effect Jinsoul.

Jinsoul shrugs, “I love you okay. Sorry, I’m happy that my best friend is back in my life.” The blonde gobbles another taco down. Sooyoung only had one left. Jinsoul’s words made her feel good, really good. Jinsoul loved her? And was happy? Maybe Sooyoung was blowing everything out of proportion. Friendship was supposed to be easy. Jinsoul was making it so easy so why was Sooyoung wasting so much energy on thinking of the consequences and blurred lines. 

_Maybe I should leave it all behind._

Sooyoung shouldn’t be so stubborn should she, “fine two displays of affection a day.” This was natural for them. The past several years have not been normal at all. Sooyoung knew her and Jinsoul fit better than most people. Them making up so quickly just shows. She just hopes it not so quick that wounds don’t heal properly. 

“You know it’s kinda hard to forget how to do something you loved doing something so much,” Jinsoul says before grabbing the last taco and eating it. Sooyoung groans at the girl eating all her food but doesn’t really mind. She was glad to see Jinsoul eating. 

Taking a napkin she wipes the sauce off the blonde’s lips, “and what’s that?” Jinsoul blushes and smiles lowering her head to gaze at her hands. She’s fiddling with her fingers again.

“Loving you.” Sooyoung stares at her side profile. Her brain doesn’t really process it but she takes note on how red Jinsoul’s face gets. Jinsoul loved doing that?

_Then why did you stop when I needed you the most?_

Snorting she teases the blonde, “what? Are you gay or something?” Jinsoul’s eyes widen and she raises up to push Sooyoung. She only laughs at the girl. It was so cheesy but what did she expect from her. 

Jinsoul rolls her eyes and crosses her arms, “I was being serious Sooyoung!”

Getting the rest of her laughs out she eyes the blonde skeptically, “me too!” She receives a glare and another smack. Much harder than the last one and it was sure to leave a mark.

“You’re giving me the opportunity again” Sooyoung scoots closer to Jinsoul who is starting to get upset. Pushing the awkwardness aside she wraps her arm around her. “So just let me do it okay?” Jinsoul asks with wide eyes.

“Okay, god…you don’t have to get so worked up.” She chuckles and shakes the girl under her arm. Jinsoul was always a lovey-dovey kinda person…most of the time. Despite having a cold family she was very affectionate and loved when it was returned. Though Sooyoung was surprised when Jinsoul had admitted that she still loved her. Sooyoung guesses that side of Jinsoul never went away. 

Jinsoul wasn’t like that towards her for years. Those years were the hardest in Sooyoung’s life.

Sooyoung wonders why she was getting so mad at this. “Hey it’s okay we can be best friends again you can love on me as much as you want.” The blonde slowly warms back up again turning to look at Sooyoung. “I’m not into all that gay shit though.” Jinsoul huffs and stands up to walk off. Sooyoung laughs and turns when the girl yelps. Her face turns ghostly white when she sees whose right in front of Jinsoul.

It’s Sori and her makeup is all run down. “Is this your bitch Sooyoung?” Jinsoul makes an exasperated noise as Sooyoung stands up, squeezing between them. “Well tell her I like you.” Sooyoung thinks if she would ever murder someone it would be Sori. The reality though is the red-head would probably murder her first. 

“Okay and?” They both turn to Jinsoul who is staring at Sori. Sooyoung has to catch the fists thrown towards Jinsoul.

Sori starts crying again and pushes her. Sooyoung falls back a bit and Jinsoul catches her while peeking over her shoulder. The girl has never been this embarrassed before. “Seriously after I give you amazing head and let you beat you run straight to her? I thought we had something?” Sori cries out.

“First of all, it was terrible head.” Sori scoffs and her face contorts to anger. “Second, we met only because you were my weed dealer’s girl and I wanted pussy that night.” Sori’s lips quiver and Sooyoung receives a slap to the face. Maybe she deserved it…and the drink thrown in her face.

She and Sori were nothing. Well in her eyes. Sooyoung wipes the fizz on her face. Her dealer had shorted her one gram so she stole his bitch. He didn’t know Sori was fucking her on the side. He also didn’t know that Sori got her free weed. But to Sooyoung’s bad luck Sori fell in love with her and now she was trying to strangle her reestablished best friend. 

After fighting the girl off _again_ , of course, Jinsoul has to open her mouth _again_ , “Um we’re only friends I think you have me confused for someone.” 

Sori screams, “No I know exactly who you are Miss Barbie tingz. You and Sooyoung are besties huh? Then why the fuck did Sooyoung-.” Sooyoung slams a hand over the girl’s mouth and starts to drag her out of the area. When they’ll finally out of everyone eating at Taco Shack’s view she starts to angrily whisper at Sori.

“Listen you fucking bozo the clown ass bitch if you don’t leave me alone I will put a restraining order on you.” Sori swings at her but Sooyoung catches her wrist and pushes her back before walking off.

Sooyoung flips her off when the girl yells at her once again, “wait till Miguel hears about this!” 

Jinsoul is cleaning up the mess that Sori made when she returns. “Unlock your jeep I’m getting my stuff and going home.” Jinsoul furrows her brows at her tone. Jinsoul steps closer to her and Sooyoung notices how she’s eying the slap mark.

“Just wait for me I can drive you home.” The blonde reaches out to her face but she pushes her away. Sooyoung really wasn’t in the mood for this right now.

She was too pissed to even argue, “Forget it meet me at the practice nets at six tomorrow.” Jinsoul calls out to her but Sooyoung ignores her. 

Sooyoung was sick of Sori and the last thing she wanted was Jinsoul having a new reason to hate her. How would the blonde feel if she knew that? It would probably ruin all this progress they’ve made and they’d be back at square one. She doesn’t know if Jinsoul would be so apologetic next time. Sooyoung doesn’t know if the girl would ever talk to her again.

Jinsoul is throwing away all the stuff that was scattered on the table. She wonders who that girl was. Was it Sooyoung’s girlfriend? She was really pretty, and hot. Jinsoul felt intimated by the girl especially with how angry she seemed that she and Sooyoung were hanging out with each other. They were just friends though, there was nothing wrong with hanging out with your friends right? 

_Does she think we’re something more?_

Pausing in her cleanup she stares at the ice littered on the ground. She didn’t even get to clean Sooyoung up. As she’s packing up to leave she feels tapping on her shoulder. Jinsoul turns around and smiles when Sori is standing there menacingly, “so are you fucking Sooyoung?” She gasps at the question. Blushing she tells the girl the truth. She and Sooyoung had never been romantic…

“She was fucking me and moaned your name like two times, explain that big brains.” Jinsoul doesn’t say anything. She just stares at the girl in front of her. The red-head seems to get pissed at her silence and scoffs, “hello? I thought you were smart but I guess you’re a dumb bitch too byeeee.” The girl flips her off and starts to walk away.

Did Jinsoul hear that correctly? Why would Sooyoung be thinking about her during sex unless? Jinsoul sighs and starts to walk towards her jeep. She wishes Sooyoung didn’t storm off. She had left practically everything in her car. Hopping into the driver’s seat she looks at the bag. 

Jinsoul knows she shouldn’t but she starts snooping around it anyways. She finds Sooyoung’s phone and wallet. Half empty bottles. A thing of deodorant and some dirty clothes. 

Taking the t-shirt out she inspects it. Sooyoung was definitely wearing this shirt earlier today when she was warming up. Jinsoul checks around her vehicle and makes sure no one is around before bringing the shirt up to inhale deeply.

After she does she leans her head back and sighs loudly, “wow…”

Jinsoul takes a few more whiffs before sticking it back inside she stares at the shirt before pulling it out to sniff one more time. There was nothing weird about that right? She was just curious about the smell.

Just like the way she was curious about her name rolling of off Sooyoung’s tongue.

But no one needed to know that. 

… 

“Can we please take a break?” Sooyoung crosses her arms at the girl bent over, gasping for air.

Shaking her head she drops her arms, “no breaks.”

Jinsoul groans and stands back up to go to the net. Sooyoung tosses her a ball and then another, and then another. It’s like a rainbow of balls with how fast Jinsoul is setting them and Sooyoung wasn’t going to let her have a break until she liked the sets.

They had been going at it since six and it was a little after eight now, just three hours before their first game. “Okay, now you’re going to set it to me wherever I like.” Jinsoul glares at her before wiping the sweat off her brow. It was a bit of a role reversal today. Jinsoul was the one working hard while Sooyoung had stood back and watched.

Stepping to the middle of the court she calls out, “to the right.” She tosses the ball up and bumps it to the blonde before sprinting to the right corner of the net and Jinsoul sets it almost perfect. Sooyoung gets a bit of adrenaline in her system from how good it felt to hit it. She repeats it but this time she calls out the middle. Probably the hardest place to set and hit. It wasn’t ideal but in some cases it had to be done. 

Sooyoung jumps in the air and hits it. A good enough set but there’s only one problem, Jinsoul is still standing there. So when Sooyoung lands back on her feet she’s practically is on top of Jinsoul. Pushing the girl away with two hands she starts to scold her, “you can’t just stand there and look at the ball dumbass you got to get out of the way and get back on defense.” Jinsoul lowers her head and Sooyoung flicks at it. 

“You got to stop being so sensitive too.” Jinsoul pouts and shrugs her shoulders. 

She only feels a little bad when Jinsoul looks at her with sad eyes, “yeah whatever you don’t have to call me stupid.”

Sooyoung steps forward and places a hand on her shoulder, “you’re not stupid you just do stupid shit that annoys me…better?” Jinsoul rolls her eyes and steps back nodding her head that she’s ready but Sooyoung has another idea.

“Actually let’s practice defense,” Sooyoung explains the drill to Jinsoul and the blonde listens closely. It’s a pretty basic drill. Jinsoul pretends to set and Sooyoung goes to hit while Jinsoul falls back into defense. It’s what they should be doing but with a ball. Sooyoung reminds herself that she has to be patient. Jinsoul takes a little time to learn things despite being a genius. Sooyoung guesses it’s a balance.

They do this drill for minutes and even Sooyoung breaks a sweat. She runs back and starts to leap forward as Jinsoul shuffles a way around her in case her hit was blocked by the other team. After Jinsoul gets the hang of it Sooyoung calls it quits. Breathing hard she looks at the girl silently asking her if she’s comfortable with it now. Jinsoul smiles and gives her a thumbs up.

Sooyoung is thankful and goes to grab a ball. She’s leaning over when the blonde calls out to her, “you know your butt don’t jiggle when you jump.”

Snapping back up she turns to the girl who is awkwardly staring at her, “I mean it does a little…you’re all muscle which there’s nothing AH!” Jinsoul covers her head up in protection as Sooyoung felt the need to put the girl in a headlock and rub her knuckle into her scalp. 

Letting the blonde go she points in her face, “focus.” Jinsoul stares at the finger and Sooyoung prays to whoever is out there when she watches the small smirk on the girl’s face form. Her eyebrows knotting downward in pure mischief. 

The next thing she knows she’s pinned on the ground with her arms crisscrossed behind her lower back. “God it’s so easy to fight you, you’re like a noodle,” Jinsoul teases.

“Shut up!” Sooyoung simply didn’t have the brute strength. Jinsoul, however, was like a Tonka trunk who could take her down in seconds. Sooyoung manages to break free and crawls away quickly. Jinsoul comes after her but she has an idea. Just waiting for the right moment.

The next thing Jinsoul knows is that she’s in a choke hold with Sooyoung behind her. Sooyoung manages to throw her legs around the girl’s waist to and squeezes when Jinsoul reaches behind to pull on her hair hard. “Stop it you fucking brat!” She yells in the blonde’s ear when she tugs too hard.

Jinsoul makes a funny noise and starts tapping on the ground when Sooyoung squeezes on her harder. Letting her go Jinsoul rolls out of the embrace and across the sand with a huff and a puff. They sit there catching their breath for a moment before one of them bursts out in laughter. Sooyoung starts laughing as well because Jinsoul’s is contagious. The blonde is basically screaming on her back, her feet kicking in the air. 

Sooyoung doesn’t think play fighting is that funny but she goes along with it. Jinsoul raises back up and stares at one particular spot. Sooyoung can tell how much the blonde is trying to keep it in. She feels the color drain from her face when the girl points and states something embarrassing, “come on Janet Jackson.”

Looking down she screams and quickly fixes her bikini top. So that was so funny, her nipple being on display. “Seriously Jinsoul? Rude…” The laughing abruptly stops when Sooyoung stands up. Jinsoul just mutters out an apology and stands up as well.

It’s a little awkward then. Sooyoung’s embarrassed and Jinsoul is a little ashamed of her immature behavior. Why did Jinsoul laugh at her nipple that much…was it, “is my nipple ugly?” 

Jinsoul is wiping the sand off her body when she receives the question, “no I mean it’s nice I think.” Jinsoul didn’t really know much about areola aesthetics. “I just thought it was funny how you didn’t notice it was hanging out.” Sooyoung gets relieved at that. She really hopes her nipples were pretty. At least to Jinsoul but that didn’t matter did it? It was a little awkward the conversation.

While Sooyoung is picking the ball up Jinsoul starts to talk, “you remember when Hyunjin used to beat both of our butts?” She smiles, it was a pretty vivid memory. She and Jinsoul would always gang up on the younger girl only to get their asses kicked. Hyunjin was a powerhouse. No one matched her.

“Yeah, she still could.” Turning Sooyoung sees that Jinsoul is already ready for her. Standing at the net. Sooyoung just shakes off the awkwardness and throws the ball up in the air for Jinsoul to set. This time it’s actually perfect. Sooyoung is amazed as she chases after it slamming it down for what definitely could be an ace. 

Dropping back to the ground she nods her head, “nice set.” Jinsoul only smiles.

“I have a good coach.” Sooyoung blushes at the compliment and waves Jinsoul off. 

“Let’s try a back set.” Jinsoul nods and gets ready. The set is even better than the last. It’s quick and right where Sooyoung wants it. Sooyoung can’t really wait to play now. If Jinsoul can give her sets like this they’ll kill the game. 

After another hour of practicing Sooyoung is sure Jinsoul has been hiding her hidden talents because almost every set she’s gotten has been amazing. The girl is becoming quicker too falling behind her every time to play defense. Sooyoung knows Jinsoul was good. They played indoor together in high school. Back then though teamwork didn’t matter as much as it did here.

Sooyoung figures it’s enough. They still had a long time before the game. “Okay, I think we should just rest up now. Tomorrow morning we’ll work on your offense.”

Jinsoul shakes her hands. They stung a little bit from setting so much. “You think we’ll lose today?” Jinsoul mutters as she picks up a water bottle to drink from it.

“We won’t,” Sooyoung mumbles back. Flopping herself on the sand she starts to relax. The muscles in her body were aching and she was pretty tired. The sand is soft and warm. Sooyoung would love to take a nap but she’s afraid she’ll sleep to long and alarms never work for her. Thankfully she has someone to wake her up, Jinsoul plops beside her as well. The blonde sighs as she finishes up the water.

Sooyoung offers hers when Jinsoul pouts at the empty bottle. “It’s fine I can go refill it.” Sooyoung shoves it onto the girl anyways and Jinsoul finally accepts drinking the rest of Sooyoung’s water as well. “You know you should invest in one of these,” Jinsoul taps at her metal bottle, “it’s better than buying a bunch of plastic.”

She stares at her for a few seconds before laying down, Sooyoung takes her bag and uses it as a makeshift pillow, “tell the water people to stop selling it and I’ll stop buying it.” Jinsoul groans and throws her empty bottle back at her. Sooyoung keeps it close to her so she can recycle it later. 

As Sooyoung closes her eyes she feels an object being placed on her stomach. Opening one eye she gasps when she sees a neatly crusted sandwich. Picking it up she crams it in. One of her favorites, peanut butter and banana. Sooyoung takes a peek at Jinsoul, the girl was only eating fruit. “Here eat this or you’ll pass out later.” The sandwich was huge and even though Sooyoung could finish it in three bites she didn’t want Jinsoul starving. 

“It’s fine I swear.”

“Jinsoul I’ll force it in you if you don’t eat this sandwich right now.” The blonde frowns and takes the other half. Sooyoung stuffs the rest of hers in and lays back down. “Wake me up in twenty.” It doesn’t take long for Sooyoung to find sleep.

Jinsoul slowly munches on the sandwich she made this morning. It was actually really good. It took her about four tries this morning to make it perfect. She _wanted_ it to be perfect for Sooyoung. The first time the banana slices were too thick. The second one there was too much peanut butter and the third one she accidentally cut it in half instead of diagonal.

Glancing to her side she smiles at the already sleeping girl. Her mouth was slightly open, small snores escaping it. Jinsoul lays on her side staring at Sooyoung’s side profile. Jinsoul thought the girl looked too cute and she had to fight the urge to reach out and touch her. Closing her eyes she turns on her back, she was tasked with waking Sooyoung up so she should focus on that. Twenty minutes exactly so she starts counting the seconds in her head.

Thoughts of yesterday’s game fill her mind but today she wasn’t feeling that nervous. 

As long as she had Sooyoung by her side…everything would be okay. 

…

Five minutes till the game. The other team had first serve. Sooyoung wasn’t for sure what their names were but they were tall. Very tall at that, “Jinsoul what’s their names?”

“Hmm, Park Subin and Choe Tzuyu.”

Sooyoung knots her brows, “chewy?”

Jinsoul snorts and shakes her head while stretching her arms out, “no silly Tzuyu spelt like t-z-u-y-u so it’s like chu-wee or something.” Sooyoung scrunches her nose up. She had never heard of a name like that. She doesn’t know which one is Chewy. Either the one who doesn’t look like she doesn’t give a fuck lying face down in the sand or the one taking a selfie with a ball in her hand. 

Coach V approaches them out of nowhere and sits down on one knee. There’s a fierce glare in her eye, “don’t fuck it up.” That’s all the red-headed woman says as she stands back up to go to the bench. Where her sister, Jungeun, Jiwoo who was asleep and Haseul were sat. Sooyoung notices how Haseul is staring at her.

It’s irritating how clingy the girl has gotten lately. 

Ignoring her personal problems she pats Jinsoul on the back and stands up moving towards the court. Sooyoung was full of energy. She was glad she took that little nap earlier. On the other side of the court, there’s a girl preparing to serve. Sooyoung can tell she could care less if could go over or not.

Getting down and ready she waits for the whistle.

As soon as it blows the ball goes into the net. Sooyoung blinks and stands up. The ball is slung at her and it’s her serve. These girls looked intimidating at first but she guesses not. Stepping back to the line she lets her eyes fall to one of her favorite things to look at, Jinsoul’s ass. She’s waiting for a signal but she enjoys the view too. Unfortunately, Jinsoul had forgotten already but Sooyoung doesn’t waste the opportunity to appreciate how nice the girl’s wagon was. 

Sori was right on one thing.

Jinsoul had a fat ass.

Sooyoung couldn’t get distracted though so she imagines Sori’s ass and snorts at the thought.

“It seems like Ha is laughing at something.” BamBam states at the microphone.

Yeojin nods, “I agree maybe she is laughing at the fact she is carrying the whole beach volleyball associating on her back.”

BamBam frowns, “I don’t think that’s how it-.”

“Shut up I know what I’m talking about.” The younger girl snaps.

The game continues on. Sooyoung thought she was going to have fun but the other team seemed to not give one shit if they won or not. Most of the points were made by Sooyoung’s serves. The other points were Jinsoul’s serves. Park was worried about looking good for the camera, assumably her boyfriend’s camera. Chewy, however, seemed more interested in…nothing. Their coach was on the verge of crying but he only had one girl left on the bench. 

Only a half an hour later and they’ve won the game. The other team politely congratulates them and walks off. Coach V comes around with a smile on her face, only telling them their next game is in an hour.

Jinsoul scratches at her head, “that seemed too easy.” Sooyoung throws an arm over her shoulder. 

“It’ll only get harder trust me.” Jinsoul leans into her touch humming out in agreement. Sooyoung lets go of Jinsoul and turns around. The site in front of her almost makes her throw up. “Ah if it isn’t Tweedle Dee and tweedle dumbass.” Im Jin-Ah or more commonly known as Nana and Kim Doyeon. Sooyoung gives the girls a fake smile. They only tower over her and glare.

“Good game Soopiggy.” Nana states out before checking out her nails. They were freshly manicured. Doyeon is just giving her this look that screams bitch. Sooyoung has never liked these two. Not for years…

“Oh hey…guys.” Sooyoung closes her eyes at the deep voice. Jinsoul, unfortunately, was friends with them.

They had _all_ played volleyball together in high school but they split to go to different colleges. Sooyoung had come to hate them. She and Jungeun always faced them in the season multiple times since their schools were close. It was a rivalry and an annoying one at that. For multiple reasons.

One Sooyoung has slept with both of them…that caused a lot of issues. Two she told one of them that the other one had better pussy…that caused even more problems. Both were a mistake. Sooyoung usually didn’t think with her head when it came to sex. If someone was willing and she knew that person was trust-worthy then she was down. Except both of them were snakes. She regrets it really. She was in high school and was inexperienced. 

Sooyoung was still stuck on Jinsoul. She was vulnerable then and Doyeon had taken advantage of that. The girl then turned around and told the whole school that Sooyoung had begged for her to take her virginity when it was really the other way around. Sooyoung being the teenager she was slept with Nana and told the whole school that the older one fucked better and didn’t smell like Long John Silver’s.

Sooyoung also remembers how Jinsoul reacted, it wasn’t pleasant. If anything she was disappointed. Sooyoung could tell by the way the girl had stared at her in the hallways. It should have been her. Sooyoung should have told her then. It should have been Jinsoul in her bed that night. Not Kim Doyeon.

As Sooyoung grew older she realized that none of that shit really mattered. But in high school it did. When love seemed real and sex was something that was only shared with somebody you loved. But that was all in the past now and Sooyoung had pleaded to herself that she would never fuck people out of pettiness. She had also pleaded to never have sex with a meaning behind it. Because it never did have a meaning for her except for a quick fix.

Now her quick fix in the past has led her to this. Doyeon and Nana staring her down like some dog. Jinsoul was just smiling behind her. She seemed to have forgotten about the past. Jinsoul had been doing that a lot these past few weeks. Doyeon rolls her eyes, “if you win this next game you face us.” Nana nods her emphasis, “and you know how that’ll end so might as well lose now.”

Sooyoung is about bite back until someone else does for her, “actually we’re not going to lose this game.” Three pairs of eyes are stuck on Jinsoul who looks a bit angry. “So I guess you better start preparing now because we’re not losing the one tomorrow either.” Sooyoung closes a fist to her mouth. She didn’t know Jinsoul played like that. The girls are looking at them with shocked faces when Jinsoul grabs her hand and starts to pull her away.

She just lets herself be dragged off the courts and onto the beach. Even though Sooyoung was hungry she didn’t mind being out her with Jinsoul. Especially with how soft her hand is.

Jinsoul let’s go way too soon though and flops down onto the ground. Sooyoung flops down as well, scooting close to Jinsoul to where they’re shoulder to shoulder. Sooyoung opts out on staying silent, Jinsoul seemed pretty pissed. 

It only takes about five minutes for Jinsoul to start rambling, “I’ve never been able to stand them.”

After watching the waves Sooyoung replies, “oh really? I thought you all were friends.”

Sooyoung notices how much Jinsoul shakes her head, “No we’re only friends because our dads are doctor buddies or whatever.” She can tell how much Jinsoul loves her dad by the eye roll. To Sooyoung’s knowledge, Jinsoul has never been fond of her father. “I hated that they took advantage of you like that.”

“You seemed to be more disappointed in me.” Jinsoul gives her a warning glare.

Shaking her head she digs her heels into the sand, “I was disappointed in you Sooyoung but I didn’t hate you like I hated them. You’re a good person who just fell into their games.” Sooyoung had dealt with this alone she had no friends then. Who she thought was her only friend had proceeded to disown her. The memory was still an open wound but what Jinsoul says pokes the holes for the stitches.

“I paid them to clear the rumors up I couldn’t take it anymore.” Sooyoung lets her gaze linger on the girl’s side profile. 

Now, why would Jinsoul go and do that? “Seeing you hurt like that…I know it seemed like I didn’t care about you back then but I did Sooyoung. I cared so much.” Sooyoung is totally lost at this point. Just what was Jinsoul hiding from her all those years? The truth got more and more confusing every day. 

Sooyoung is about to ask her but the blonde starts to hit her playfully, “but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t pissed at you!” 

Defending herself she scoots away from the hits that had become a bit aggressive but Jinsoul chases after her, “I can’t believe you let yourself be dragged into that stupid drama!” Sooyoung is whining by the time the slaps stop. She still has her guard up but after a minute of no contact, she peeks from behind her arms. Jinsoul is looking out into the ocean with no expression on her face. 

“I don’t know why I did it.” Sooyoung knew exactly why she did it. She just tells Jinsoul that to not give herself away. Because if she told the blonde _I only did it because the girl I loved hated me_ would be too much of a hint.

Standing up Sooyoung pats on top of Jinsoul’s head before heading off. Jinsoul only watches her go away with a smile. It confuses Sooyoung even more. But Sooyoung tells herself it’s not really the time to be confused when she needed to pee this bad. 

Sooyoung puts on her warm-up clothes before greeting her sisters. It looks like it was only them today. Hyejoo is sleeping spread out in the bleaches and Yerim is laid across her. Sooyoung smiles at the site, she had heard them stay up last night playing Mario Kart.

When she steps into the bathroom she freezes at who’s standing in front of the mirror. It's Haseul, the girl is washing her hands and when she notices Sooyoung standing at the doorway she freezes as well. Sooyoung wishes she just ran past her because now the girl was pulling her by the wrist towards the sinks. “You’ve been distant.” She tells Sooyoung.

The younger girl knows better though. They didn’t have anything more than just an agreement. But just like Sori, Haseul had gotten attached. “You mean we haven’t been fucking.” Sooyoung pushes the girl off and smiles. Sooyoung doesn’t want to be annoyed at the girl. Haseul was really nice and she didn’t want to break her heart. But feelings always get in the way of things and since Haseul has been getting a little too close for comfort lately she knows she should probably cut it off.

“I just miss us okay?” Sooyoung quirks an eyebrow. Haseul turns around and stares into the reflection, “can we meet tonight? My boyfriend is out of town.”

Sooyoung shakes her head, “not tonight I’m not feeling it.” 

The girl scoffs, “you’re never feeling it anymore, it’s like you don’t want me.” Sooyoung thinks for a moment. No, she’s gotten pretty bored with the girl. She’s gotten bored with sex in general. Maybe it’s because she’s been fucking too much. Sori was hard to take care of and ever since her Sooyoung’s libido has deflated.

“I’m just tired.” She hums out before leaning onto a sink.

She watches Haseul’s grip tighten, “yeah right. No, you’ve been stuck up Jinsoul’s ass lately.”

“Huh?”

“Jinsoul tells me everything, ever since you two became bff’s again you’ve been ignoring me.” Sooyoung has no idea what Haseul is talking about. Did Jinsoul talk to her about them?

Haseul turns to face her, “I thought you hated her?”

Sooyoung is starting to get a little irritated. Was Haseul jealous of her? Or was she jealous of Jinsoul? Sooyoung knows how close they are of friends. But the way Haseul was looking at her Sooyoung was starting to think Jinsoul was Haseul’s problem, “I thought you weren’t annoying.” Haseul opens her mouth and Sooyoung smirks at how the anger falls over her face.

“Seriously you’re getting jealous over the stupidest shit when we started this with the promise to never get attached.” Sooyoung dumbly mocks the girl who in turns gets more pissed. 

Sooyoung leans over to whisper the last part in Haseul’s ear, “but I guess you can’t keep one can you?” With that Sooyoung thinks that she’ll just go to the men’s bathroom to do her business.

Haseul watches her go out, fist clenched in anger. She jumps out of her skin when she hears a stall door open and closed. Turning around she’s facing someone’s chest. A very nice chest at that. Trailing her eyes up she gasps when she sees how gorgeous the girl is. Way prettier than that stupid asshole she just dealt with. “Sorry I overheard that I thought it would be awkward to just step out.”

Nodding she thanks the girl and turns to leave but her wrist is grabbed. The taller girl tilts her head, “are you okay by the way? She was pretty harsh.” Haseul falls into her gaze. It was so inviting. 

“I don’t know Sooyoung was right we promised to-.” 

“Sooyoung? As in Ha Sooyoung?” Haseul nods. The girl smiles at her then and Haseul thinks that it’s nice.

She doesn’t even notice her hair is tucked behind her ear. Haseul is too focused on the girl’s lips, “it doesn’t feel good, does it? To get your feelings played like that.” Haseul doesn’t know why she’s trusting this girl so much. Maybe it’s the way she’s softly touching her. Maybe it’s her smile. Maybe it’s the familiar glint in her eyes.

“I can be there for you tonight instead of her. I promise not to invalidate your feelings like that.” Haseul furrows her brows. Was this girl offering to replace Sooyoung? Haseul didn’t know what her name was but when the girl leans down she can feel the spark. 

“My name is Doyeon by the way…”

Haseul closes her eyes when the corner of her mouth is kissed. Doyeon leans back up and winks. It sets Haseul’s whole body on fire, “meet me at the pier tonight at nine. My place is not far from there.” Doyeon then steps away to walk out of the bathroom. 

Haseul brings her hand to her lips, they were still tingling. She smiles at the feeling. She’d show Ha Sooyoung that she didn’t need her.

Meanwhile, Sooyoung had totally forgotten about Haseul in the bathroom and was enjoying a foot long hot dog. Hyejoo was also enjoying the hot dog since every time Sooyoung would look away the girl would sneak over and take a bite. Next time she keeps an eye on the girl but Hyejoo doesn’t care and still takes a bite, “mmmm.”

Sooyoung pinches the girl earning a yelp, “was that mmmm?” She laughs at the now pouting baby and hands her the hotdog. Hyejoo was growing fast and she needed all the food she could get. Sooyoung could also always go buy another hotdog. Yerim is laying down below them making sand angels. Turning back to Hyejoo she laughs at how full the girl’s cheeks are. Grabbing them she shakes her head, “you’re like a little baby.” 

Hyejoo is giving her a death glare as she babies her. Yerim raises up from the sand and starts laughing. Her sister is trying to chew up her food but starts laughing as well and the cheeks in her hands start to shake. “Stop laughing you’re going to choke!” Hyejoo listens to her and stands up. Yerim goes to say something but Hyejoo points a finger at her. Sooyoung’s never seen anyone so focused on eating.

When her sister finally finishes the food she attacks her. Sooyoung screams for help but Yerim just watches with a smile on her face. After getting all the giggles out Hyejoo sits back down beside her. Sooyoung is waiting for her to say something since the girl is smiling, “I’m still hungry.” Rolling her eyes she stands up to get her wallet out. 

“I think they’re selling pizzas at the concession go grab your sister.”

Yerim groans, “but she’s your sister too why can’t you go find her.”

“Because I’m older and I said so now go!” Sooyoung mocks the girl while putting a hand on her hip. Yerim groans again and gets up from the sand before dragging Hyejoo along with her. Sooyoung laughs as they start to play fight when they get far enough.

Walking up she greets the cashier and tells her what she wants, “can I get a cheese pizza?-and a cherry Popsicle.” Sooyoung knots her brows and turns to the voice that added their order on without asking. Her blood boils when she sees it’s Doyeon. The girl smirks and grabs the Popsicle being handed to her. Of course, the cashier tells Sooyoung that the pizza will take a minute. 

Doyeon quirks a brow up and opens the packaging to stick it in. Sooyoung knew Doyeon had a big mouth but she didn’t know it was that big. The girl keeps eye contact as she licks and sucks on the red ice. Obviously trying to get a rise out of Sooyoung but she keeps her eyes on the taller girl’s. Doyeon makes a slurping sound as she brings the Popsicle out and licks on her lips. 

Sooyoung blinks when it’s pointed towards her. “You wanna taste…Soobunny?” Scoffing she looks into the stand. She tries to focus on the guy slicing up her pizza until there’s lips pressed against her ear, “we’ve grown past all the drama haven’t we?” Sooyoung shudders when her lobe is nibbled on, “you know they say hate sex is the best kind.”

Shoving the girl off Sooyoung starts to get pissed. “Don’t you ever call me that.” Jinsoul was the only one allowed to. She had come up with it when they were seven. When Sooyoung’s bunny teeth were prominent and Jinsoul thought it was cute.

“Listen here golly green giant. You and I are never going to fuck again because one you smell like greens and two I hate you, consider yourself lucky to have been with me in the first place.” Doyeon’s smirk falls and finally, Sooyoung receives her pizza.

The redhead says one last thing and it gets under her skin. Something that rarely happens, “you are so full of yourself Ha Sooyoung but you’re just a nobody.” 

“I can’t wait until everyone realizes that. Especially Jinsoul.” Sooyoung turns around to face her but Doyeon has already disappeared. Her insecurities almost resurface. _Almost_.

Walking back to her sisters all of that deep sense of dread disappears. How could she be a nobody when she was everything to her sisters? They’re looking at her like she’s the second coming of Christ. Joining them in the sand. Yerim slouches over her and sits on her lap while Hyunjin sits across from her and Hyejoo sits to her side. One of them opens the pizza box and Yerim leans over to get her a slice.

Sooyoung starts to give her sister the stink eye when she touches every slice trying to figure out which one she wants. When her sister turns to her, however, Sooyoung gives her the biggest smile imaginable. Even though the twins usually got on her nerves she wouldn’t trade them for the world. But right now she would trade Yerim for a nickel, “Yerine get off my legs they’re numb.” The girl pouts and rolls off only to slap Sooyoung’s legs.

Watching Yerim chew the food up she can’t help but tease, “aww is it good?” 

Yerim turns to her with a menacing stare. Sooyoung raises her brows and smiles before shaking her head, “are we happy?”

“I’m not a baby anymore Sooyoung.” 

Sooyoung narrows her eyes and is about to protest until another voice speaks up, “of course you are!”

She doesn’t recognize it as any of her sisters and when she looks up she can’t stop the smile that breaks out on her face. Jinsoul is standing above them, a blue popsicle in hand with an equally big smile on her face. “Jindori!” Yerim screams and Sooyoung gets the breath knocked out of her when the girl jumps up to pounce on Jinsoul.

Despite not being friends for years Jinsoul still maintained her relationship with her younger sisters. When Sooyoung would go over to hang out at Chaewon’s place she’d always bring the twins. While Sooyoung never left the couch with Chaewon her sisters would always make a beeline for Jinsoul’s room. The blonde never came out of her room back then. Sooyoung blamed herself for it. 

Sooyoung watches quietly as Jinsoul becomes the next best thing. She needed a pizza to make everyone happy. Jinsoul only needed to smile. The blonde sits next to her while chatting with Yerim and Hyejoo who have their full attention on the older girl. Sooyoung would have never thought things would turn back the way they did. Jinsoul slowly inching her way back into her life. But Sooyoung wasn’t trying to fool anyone, she wouldn’t change the way things were right now for the life of her.

Jinsoul pops open the packet to her snack. With Doyeon it was disgusting to watch with how provocative it was. Jinsoul, however, eats her Popsicle cutely. Slowly nibbling at it bit by bit, although Sooyoung wonders if it’s hurting her teeth. The innocence is ruined though when Jinsoul takes a long lick at it. Sooyoung’s eyes widen at the site especially when she keeps going at it and the melted ice starts to run down her chin. The girl forces herself to look away. She couldn’t handle the image of Jinsoul’s tongue for that long. 

She instead focuses on the game. Sooyoung doesn’t really know who’s playing but they’re both good. She and Jinsoul played next. Probably the winner of this game. Suddenly her hand is covered by another, a much softer one, “you okay?” Sooyoung turns her head to the voice and Jinsoul was looking at her attentively. She smiles at the girl and flips her hand over.

Nodding she smiles wider at Jinsoul’s blush when she squeezes on her hand. The blonde seemed shocked by the display of affection. Jinsoul breaks out into a smile looking at the now intertwined hands. Jinsoul doesn’t say another word to her and goes back to talking to her sisters.

“Where’s Chaewon?” Her sister asks and Sooyoung finally notices that her best friend isn’t here. 

Jinsoul hums, “she’s out with her man.”

Sooyoung jumps into the conversation, “she has a man?”

Everyone is shocked by the news and leans in closely to listen to Jinsoul. Even Hyunjin has crawled into the inner circle to catch the gossip. “Yes, she has actually…three boyfriends.” All of them gasp as Jinsoul nods. It was stated matter of factly. “Now don’t say anything about because she’d kill me if you all knew.” They all pinky swear Jinsoul and ask for more info but the blonde refuses it. 

Yerim asks a question that makes Sooyoung’s heart freeze, “what about you Jindori? You’ve always had cute boyfriends.” Jinsoul frowns for some reason at the question and Sooyoung understands why when Jinsoul tells her younger sister that she’s single. Sooyoung pays close attention to Jinsoul’s features and the way her jaw clenches when Yerim asks next, “are you crushing on anybody right now?” 

Sooyoung’s frozen heart drops when Jinsoul blushes and looks away bashfully. All the girls squeal except her. She doesn’t know why she feels this sick to her stomach. She was over Jinsoul. Sooyoung didn’t have those kinds of feelings for her anymore. Right? “Oh, Jindori tell us what’s he like?” 

The thumb on the back of her hand starts to rub back and forth. Sooyoung blames it on Jinsoul’s nerves, “He can be a bit mean sometimes but I think it’s only a defense mechanism because he’s sensitive. Overall he’s just misunderstood.” The girls nod and Sooyoung scoffs, “really though he’s such a sweetheart. The sweetest person I’ve ever met. So thoughtful and kind.” 

Sooyoung honestly can’t take it anymore. But the grip on her hand keeps her there. “Is he cute?”

Jinsoul nods and glances at her for a split second. Sooyoung would have caught it if she wasn’t staring at their conjoined hands, “the cutest and he’s also sexy with this charming smile.” Sooyoung rips her hand away from Jinsoul’s and stands up abruptly.

They all give her this worried look so she puts on a fake smile, “I’m gonna go…to the bathroom.” Sooyoung darts off without waiting for a reaction.

The attention goes back to Jinsoul who is a little shaken from Sooyoung’s action, “um but he’s got another smile. A real one.” Hyunjin narrows her eyes at the blonde. Jinsoul was still looking in the direction where Sooyoung went.

“It’s usually when he laughs or is really happy. He’ll smile so big his nose and eyes scrunch up and you can see his bunny teeth.” Hyunjin leans back into the sand, okay yeah this was getting a little too suspicious for her. 

Yerim calls out, completely oblivious, “just like Sooyoung’s!”

Jinsoul’s blush gets deeper, “yeah like Sooyoung’s.” 

“So do you think he likes you too?” Yerim asks.

Jinsoul thinks for a moment before answering, “I don’t know. He hated me for a while but things are getting better now.” 

The girl’s squeal except for Hyunjin who is starting to do the math in her head. Jinsoul wasn’t as slick as she thought she was. “He was my first kiss you know…he tasted like wild strawberries.” There’s something up but Hyunjin can’t figure it out.

It then clicks, the apology board from Jinsoul and Hyunjin remembers being confused by the last reason of ‘ _why we should be besties again’_ and the two words at the bottom. “Yo Jinsoul you like girls?” Everyone turns to her with shocked expressions. 

Jinsoul’s blush is much deeper now, “I mean love is love r-right?” 

Hyunjin smirks, “so you saying you could fall in love with a girl?” Yerim narrows her eyes at her and Hyejoo snorts. Clearly, the blonde was a bit distraught.

The blonde starts to ramble, “It’s not about gender it’s about the soul and how that soul connects to-.”

“Boooring do you like pussy or not be honest.” Jinsoul squeezes her eyes shut.

They all wait for her answer, “I think I could like a girl.” Hyunjin smiles as the twins squeal in delight. She was definitely suspicious of the blonde now. Their fun is ruined when Sooyoung returns and beckons Jinsoul to get up completely oblivious to the conversation that just went on. They all stare at her while she lifts Jinsoul up to drag her away. 

“Let’s warm up.” Jinsoul nods as she stumbles across the sand. Sooyoung was pulling her a little too hard. 

After thirty minutes of warming up, they’re now standing in front of the other team. Heo Solji and Park Kyungri. They’re both tall and a lot more serious than the last two. Or that’s what Sooyoung thinks at least until Kyungri steps forward with a seductive smirk on her face. It’s the coin toss and the girl looks down at Sooyoung before purring out, “I would like head.” The ref looks at the girl with confusion.

That was an unusual way to call the toss but he shrugs his shoulders and flips the coin. Sooyoung is almost about to combust with a sly finger ghosting along her tummy. The coin lands on heads and Kyungri smiles and stares into Sooyoung’s eyes and the finger finally pokes at her making her muscles tense, “do you want it?” 

Jinsoul is behind them staring holes through Sooyoung. “The serve I mean?” Kyungri asks Sooyoung just nods. The taller girl has her in a bit of a daze. “Well too bad…you have to earn it.” Sooyoung smiles at the wink thrown at her and watches the sexy lady walk away with an extra sway to her hips. Hearing a scoff behind her she turns around to see that Jinsoul’s glaring at her.

“What?” She asks Jinsoul.

The blonde only shakes her head. She hasn’t seen Jinsoul this pissed since well since she broke her nose. Sooyoung doesn’t get a chance to interrogate the blonde because the game is starting and she needs to focus on that. Whatever it was it would have to wait until after the game. She didn’t want Jinsoul actually pissed at her. What if she started to avoid her again?

Sooyoung’s a bit nervous about this game because the other team is definitely serious. But so is Jinsoul and Sooyoung can tell how tense she is. The whistle blows and Park serves it. Jinsoul is the one to receive it and sets it up. The other team obviously doesn’t think Jinsoul is going to hit it from her previous stats. Jinsoul hasn’t attacked once. But today is different because Jinsoul does hit it. 

And she hits hard. 

So hard it slams right into Park’s face knocking the girl to the ground. Sooyoung is frozen in the crouch position as she watches the girl who was just hitting on her lay on the ground.

“GOT DAM WHAT A HIT!” Yeojin had knocked her chair over she had stood up so fast. Jinsoul had an arm on her. The whole crowd didn’t suspect it and everyone is watching in shock. That by far was the hardest hit in the tournament. For sure surpassing any of Kim Doyeon’s or Ha Sooyoung’s hits. 

BamBam who also stood up shakes his head not minding Yeojin’s swear, “…Word.” 

Sooyoung straightens up and walks next to Jinsoul who is just staring at the recuperating girl on the ground with a blank expression. She would like to say something to the blonde but she’s afraid that she’ll be the next one with a bloody nose. Park finally gets her injury taken care of and is ready to get back to the game.

It’s Jinsoul’s serve and Sooyoung gets ready for defense. Jinsoul serves it and surprisingly it’s an ace. It flies so quickly through the air that neither of the girl’s on the other side had time to react. Jinsoul serves three more times before the team gets a hand on it. Sooyoung goes to block the hit but Jinsoul pushes her out of the way to do it instead. She doesn’t say a word and only falls behind.

Jinsoul gets a hand on it and Sooyoung manages to set it up well enough. Jinsoul, however, is able to knock the air out of the ball again and it bounces off Heo’s fingertips and out of bounds. The crowd goes wild at this hit and everyone is loving Jinsoul’s energy on the court. Sooyoung wonders what lit this fire in Jinsoul’s body. But whatever did she would be sure to be grateful for it. The blonde turns to her and speaks lowly, “stay out of my way.” The rasp in Jinsoul’s voice leaves knots in Sooyoung’s stomach.

Maybe she was the one who started the fire.

The rest of the game goes by quickly because Jinsoul is killing it. On defense and offense. Sooyoung has never seen the girl work this hard and takes note of how hard she’s breathing. Sooyoung hasn’t broken a sweat yet. It was amazing to see Jinsoul play this hard. Sooyoung smiles, she knew the blonde had it in her and the sisters definitely had a lot to prepare for tomorrow. There was only one problem with this aggression.

There was no teamwork. Sooyoung was still pulling her weight but there were still conflicts between them. The other teams scored points from those conflicts. Sooyoung tried to work it out with Jinsoul between sets but Jinsoul ignored her and only listened to Coach V who was feeding into the blonde’s anger. 

“Jung Jinsoul is outplaying her own teammate!” BamBam states out into the mic. Yeojin wants to agree but she was Sooyoung’s biggest fan.

Shaking her finger she informs the boy that Sooyoung has still made a lot of points, “No I think Jung has finally matched Ha’s level.” BamBam actually agrees with her for once. 

Jinsoul pretty much wins the game. It’s almost a blowout. Much like their first game but this time they’re the winners. The handshakes a little awkward. Jinsoul apologizes for Park’s face and Sooyoung only smiles at her. The girl didn’t seem too upset. 

After the game, Sooyoung goes to chase after the blonde but she’s pulled back. When she turns to see she’s not that annoyed to see it’s Kyungri. “Hey, I was thinking we should go out sometime.” Sooyoung debates with herself. Kyungri was very sexy but Sooyoung had promised herself she wouldn’t be getting into these activities for a while. She had other things to worry about. There was also this annoying thought in the back of her mind telling her that Kyungri’s still not Jinsoul.

“I think I have to pass you seem,” Sooyoung looks the girl up and down, “nice but I’ve been busy.” She lies and the girl smiles at her.

“Oh, it’s fine! I just thought we had a little something going on here.” Kyungri gestures between them with her finger and Sooyoung would like to agree. The taller girl leans to the side to look behind her and Sooyoung follows her direction. Jinsoul is staring at them and looks away as soon as she’s caught. “Your teammate seems to not like me.” Sooyoung nods and watches Jinsoul start to pack up. The blonde is throwing her stuff in her bag.

“Bye Sooyoung, find me if you’re ever interested.” Kyungri airily speaks out and Sooyoung doesn’t even react. She’s too focused on Jinsoul. Her feet start to move on her own as she walks up to her teammate who is about to leave with the way her keys are already in hand. 

Standing in front of her Jinsoul slowly looks up, her cold stare still in effect. “Good game Jinsoul you played amazing.” The blonde mutters out a thank you.

Sooyoung sits down beside her and fights back a smile as Jinsoul struggles to zip her bag up. Leaning down she does it for the blonde and receives a blank stare. Sooyoung screams out when Jinsoul hops up to leave, “aha no no no…” Pulling the blonde back down to sit she keeps her hold on her tight to make sure she goes nowhere. “You’re mad at me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. Tell me what I did to upset you.” Jinsoul looks away but Sooyoung pulls her back by the cheek squishing it between her finger and thumb. “I’m listening, I don’t want you to suddenly start avoiding me again.” 

Jinsoul tells her it’s nothing and Sooyoung pretends to be convinced. The smile on the blonde’s face afterward tells her it would be fine. It was probably something insignificant. Sooyoung probably accidentally ignored her or something. Jinsoul then gets up to leave and informs Sooyoung that their game is not until two tomorrow against the sisters.

Jinsoul also informs her that she’d be waiting for at the nets tomorrow morning. 

…

It’s another rough morning for both of them. The heat was getting to Sooyoung while Jinsoul didn’t sleep a wink last night. Sooyoung stumbles to the sand and Jinsoul follows her actions sitting right in front of her. Sooyoung is breathing hard at all the drills they’ve been doing and eagerly accepts the water bottle given to her. 

Chugging the ice cold liquid down she almost chokes when Jinsoul blurts out, “spread your legs.” Bringing the bottle down she looks at Jinsoul with wide eyes and the blonde is only staring at her tummy. Sooyoung does and groans when Jinsoul crawls between them and leans back onto Sooyoung’s front. 

Jinsoul drapes her arms over her legs while laying her head back on Sooyoung’s chest. “Get off of me you’re hot.” The blonde only giggles and lays her legs over the top of Sooyoung’s as well. She guesses Jinsoul can sit there although she doesn’t know why the blonde would want to. Sooyoung was hot and sweaty probably also a little stinky. But here Jinsoul was laying on her with a smile on her face.

“Hold me Soobunny.” Sooyoung cringes at the name but leans up to wrap her arms around the girl’s waist anyway. Jinsoul hums out contently and Sooyoung tries to ignore the sound. They sit there for several minutes just looking out into the water. It feels right. To have Jinsoul in her arms like this. For them to be working so well together. To be getting along like nothing’s happened.

But Sooyoung knows it’s wrong with how right it feels.

Jinsoul scoots up a bit and places her hand over Sooyoung’s which were folded around the middle of her tummy. “Can you do the one thing where you cover my eyes.”

Sooyoung nods and takes one of her hands to cover the blonde’s eyes up before resting her chin on her shoulder. She feels Jinsoul physically relax in her embrace so Sooyoung closes her eyes as well only focusing on the sound of waves and Jinsoul’s soft touch on her arm. “I’m nervous about today Sooyoung.” 

She doesn’t speak for a moment, thinking of the words she could say, “no matter how you play today whether it be like yesterday or that day at practice I won’t be disappointed as long as you have fun okay?” Sooyoung slowly mutters out. Jinsoul starts to drag her nails along Sooyoung’s arm. The girl just recognizes it as a nervous tic of Jinsoul’s. 

“Maybe you should get someone else to play with you.” Pinching at the fat on the girl’s stomach she scolds her. She didn’t want to play with anybody else, she wouldn’t get on that court if-.

“No Jinsoul I’m not playing unless it’s with you.” Sooyoung snaps out. The blonde agrees with her and brings her hand to remove Sooyoung’s from her eyes. The stare Jinsoul is giving her is intense. Just like the one yesterday. This time it’s not filled anger but determination. 

All she needed was for Jinsoul to believe in her. Then Sooyoung wouldn’t be afraid to face anything. 

…Except now 3 hours later standing in front of the two tallest sisters she’s ever seen. They’re giving them the death glare well only Sooyoung’s receiving it. Sooyoung doesn’t show any sort of hesitation though especially when the other two win the coin toss and Sooyoung recalls how terrible it is to handle Nana’s jump serve. 

Jinsoul is shaking beside her so Sooyoung places her hand on the girl’s back to show support. The blonde nods and Sooyoung knows it was meant for even though she was looking at Doyeon. They break and Sooyoung goes to talk to Coach V before it starts. This was the semi-final so after this, they would move on the championship. She only hopes her coach can give her some encouraging words.

The blonde, however, was grabbing a drink from the complimentary cooler when someone strolls up behind her. “Hey, Jinsoul is that for me?” Doyeon grabs the drink out of her hand and smirks as she drinks it right in front of her. Jinsoul only smiles eyeing the girl as much as she could. “Thanks that’s how you should treat your superior.” 

“When have you ever been better than me?” Jinsoul mumbles out. Doyeon was unfazed though. She had always felt like she was better than Jinsoul.

Smiling she drinks the rest of the water, she was glad it was the last one, “when I fucked the girl you were in love with.”

Jinsoul acts like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Stretching her neck out while looking up into the crowd, “yeah well didn’t you become the laughing stock after that?” 

Doyeon laughs, she didn’t care for pettiness, “hmm yeah I guess but I still got inside your head didn’t I?” 

Stepping closer to Jinsoul she makes her voice lower. Almost teasing like and starts to talk down to her, “you should have heard the way she moaned my name Jinsoul. It was so sweet almost as sweet as she tasted.” Doyeon has to bite back her laugh that threatens to spill when she sees how hard Jinsoul’s jaw clenches. Sighing she leans back up, “but you were too busy playing trophy girl with my man.” 

“Ha Sooyoung isn’t just some nobody like you.” Doyeon has always admired how strong Sooyoung was. She didn’t take any shit and she went through everything by herself. Sooyoung was a loner but a fierce one at that. No one felt sorry for her. They felt sorry for the people who had tried to get close to her and were amazed at the people that did. Sooyoung would make something of herself because she had the confidence and will to. She had so much ambition. 

Doyeon plucks at her nails and continues to blabber on nonchalantly like she and Jinsoul were gossiping. “Coach is hoping V fucks this season up. So he can scout Sooyoung to come to ours, he wants her to go pro.” Jinsoul visibly tenses at that. The blonde couldn’t keep watch on her little Soobunny miles away could she? 

“You study the stars right Jinsoul? Would you agree Sooyoung is like a shooting star?” Doyeon starts off and she knows Jinsoul’s listening the blonde just doesn’t dare to look at her. “So bright and beautiful but they don’t last forever.” 

Jinsoul turns to her finally staring her in the eyes. She couldn’t be more delighted, “It’s gonna be so funny the day she falls out of your view and none of those stupid wishes of yours come true.” 

Shaking her head she goes to grab another water for Nana, “because face it Jinsoul you’re only holding her back. You’ve got nothing to give. Your head is stuck clouds while everyone else is down here leaving you behind.” 

She steps closer one last time, “and I can’t wait for the day she realizes that and leaves you behind as well.” Doyeon smiles at the girl.

“Do you think you’re Maya Angelou or something?” Her smile drops as Jinsoul grabs water out of the cooler. For Sooyoung of course. She only drunk out of her metal bottle. Doyeon watches the girl turn around and walk off. She was dumbstruck really. None of the words got to Jinsoul or Sooyoung. Had she lost her touch on pissing people off?

Sooyoung is chatting with Jungeun when Jinsoul storms up to her and shoves her. Jungeun and Sooyoung both give her a shocked look when she practically screams out, “let’s fucking destroy these bitches Sooyoung!” One Jinsoul rarely cursed, two Jinsoul was never this hype. The older girl doesn’t complain though and shoves the blonde back getting the adrenaline pumping through her veins.

Jungeun watches the two idiots push each other back and forth just shouting random things at each other. They were truly just some bros ready to kick some ass. Jungeun couldn’t help but be happy at the site of them working well together. “Sooyoung you remember the handshake?”

“How could I forget?” Jungeun then watches the most complicated handshake known to mankind. Much more complicated than Jiwoo’s order at the local café. It ends with a belly bump and the pair make their way out onto the court. Jungeun doesn’t think she’s ever been this excited for a game.

Sooyoung is so ready for this. She gets down since Nana was serving and she’d had to be quick on her feet. Jungeun was always better at defense but Sooyoung was the stronger one in that department with Jinsoul. Staring at Jinsoul she raises a brow at the hand behind the girl’s ass. The thumb is point towards the left. Was she giving her a set signal? 

The whistle blows and Sooyoung doesn’t have time to think about it. She’ll just go which way Jinsoul’s body is turned. The ball comes flying over quick and Sooyoung has to dive to receive it. It’s a good enough pass and Jinsoul goes to set it, “left!” Sooyoung is confused because the girl’s body is turned right so she fumbles with her direction. 

To her surprise, Jinsoul back sets it perfectly and Doyeon is on the other side of the net while Nana is in defense in the wrong spot. Sooyoung struggles to get to it on time but manages to still get her palm on it. Sending it down the line. The crowd already goes wild and the sisters argue with each other. Jinsoul comes up to her and grabs her by the waist, “I can’t scream it out like that next time you’ll have to pay attention to my signal.”

Nodding at the girl she falls back with the ball in hand. It was her turn to serve. Bending over she eyes Jinsoul’s ass but with an excuse this time. Six, okay she can place it there. To the left again. Fine, Sooyoung thinks this is great progress to their first game. Tossing the ball up she leaps and angles her arm up to get it to the six-block of the court. Basically the back right corner. 

It goes over Doyeon’s head but Nana is there to get it. Sooyoung is the one on defense while Jinsoul is blocking. The girl makes it a little hard for Nana to hit it but she still gets it over. Thankfully Jinsoul didn’t lay a finger on it so Sooyoung bumps it up to receive another beautiful set. The sisters are prepared this time and block Sooyoung’s hit. Jinsoul is behind her though to save it.

Setting it up for the blonde she hopes the same energy is there from yesterday. Sooyoung’s not surprised when Jinsoul kills the ball smacking it right against Doyeon’s chest. The blonde does a little hop when she lands back down and Sooyoung smiles at the little cocky action. 

The game continues to go on like this. It’s back and forth between them. The sisters are a tough match and hard to keep up with but Jinsoul and Sooyoung manage to do it to the crowd's favor. To Sooyoung’s pleasure, they win the first set. It was almost too easy and the pair across the nets are breathing hard with sweat rolling down their bodies. Sooyoung can see the fear in their eyes and she only smiles.

Walking over to the benches Jinsoul closely following behind talking her ear off in a loud voice. She was glad to see the blonde in such high spirits. They were destroying the other team and they still had so much energy left. Jiwoo jumps from the bench and jumps on top of her, Sooyoung squeals when the little red-head smacks her ass hard. 

Sooyoung is watching the girl now grope on Jinsoul primarily her ass as the blonde tries to push her off. Sitting beside Jungeun she tries to catch her breath. “Sorry, she’s a bit touchy.” The ash-blonde states out. Sooyoung laughs and grabs the water that Jinsoul had brought her. Coach V says nothing to them, only to keep it up and not fuck up. It’s short and sweet. Unlike the other coach who’s giving the sister’s hell with how loud he was screaming. 

“Here we go to the second set! I gotta admit I did not expect for this kinda upset today.” BamBam talks loudly into the mic and turns to look at Yeojin. He gasps when he sees that his cohost has vanished. Turning in his chair he checks the whole studio out and nothing. Leaning over the table he scans the courts and curses when he sees Yeojin down below yelling along with the crowd.

Yeojin is hopping along the sand. This game was amazing. Ha Sooyoung was amazing. Every hit and dig made the crowd jump up and cheer. The girl was truly a beast on the sand. Yeojin couldn’t even imagine what it felt like to take one of her aces. Her teammate was just as good. Jung Jinsoul had certainly shocked the crowd with how aggressive of a player she was. “GOOO SOOYOUNG!” She yells at the athlete. When the girl turns around Yeojin actually faints when she throws her a wink.

Sooyoung gasps at the fan who just passed out. She can’t pay any mind to it since she had another set to play. It’s their serve this time so Sooyoung grabs the ball from the ref and moves towards the back unaware of the conversation happening close to the nets. Doyeon is staring Jinsoul down and shit talking her. The ref isn’t paying any mind he was too focused on his milkshake. “I can tell you’re struggling to keep up, stop fucking it up for Sooyoung.” 

“Shut up Doyeon.” Even Nana was starting to get pissed at her sister. She just wanted to play a fair game. Nana could care less about all the petty drama her sister is trying to start. 

Doyeon pouts and mocks the blonde’s words, “what was that? Sorry I can’t understand dumbasses.” Jinsoul clenches her fist and ignores the redhead's words. She was immature and Jinsoul was not. The blonde kept telling herself to be the bigger person. 

The game starts once again but this time it carries on with a lot more struggle. Doyeon and Nana had picked up a second wind of energy and were in the lead. Even with the skills and willpower Sooyoung and Jinsoul were outmatched. They hadn’t practiced long enough together. Jinsoul may have had a great hit but it wasn’t consistent and it cost them a few points. 

Sooyoung wasn’t going to give up though. She had to win this game for everyone who was looking up to her. Scratching at her head she huffs when Jinsoul fails at a dig and is struggling to get up. Quickly running over she notices something wrong with the way Jinsoul’s face is scrunching up. The blonde kneels on the sand and looks at her wrist.

Squatting down she grabs it, “what’s wrong?” Jinsoul shakes her head and stands up. Sooyoung is a bit worried but she brushes it off. Nana was serving and they were only four points from winning, they were leading by two points. Nana’s serve is not as bad as the first set’s because the girl was starting to get tired. Sooyoung easily receives it but when Jinsoul goes to set it up for her she messes it up.

But she doesn’t even try to go fix it because Jinsoul had screamed out in pain. Sooyoung knew that the girl had done something to it. The blonde is clutching it and shaking as Sooyoung walks up to her, “I think it’s sprained.” Sooyoung’s feeling nauseous as she leads Jinsoul over to the bench. The whole crowd is quiet and she peeks over at the other team. Nana looks worried and a bit pissed while Doyeon is smiling and laughing.

Sooyoung wanted to tear it off her face. Coach V starts to wrap it up while talking the girl down. Jinsoul is surprisingly calm despite this being a crucial injury. “Let them win this set okay? Only bump set it and next game give it your all.” They nod at their coach it was a good plan. If they lost this set they would be a tiebreaker set to go to fifteen. It was possible.

Going back out on the court Sooyoung closes her eyes and says a quick prayer to whoever’s out there. They lose the set quickly and Jinsoul is starting to shake from the nerves. Sooyoung wants to call a timeout but Jinsoul shakes her head no. They had to do this now. 

It doesn’t go to plan. Jinsoul’s hurt badly and every time she sets it, they get worse and worse. Her energy falls and Jinsoul becomes a loose end again. Sooyoung can’t keep up with Nana and Doyeon, she needed Jinsoul. But the blonde was hurt and Sooyoung could only do so much. When the sister’s win by five she Sooyoung bends over to catch her breath. It was going so well but with just one mistake it all crumbled. She almost wants to cry, Jinsoul worked so hard and for what? Standing up she puts her bitch face on and goes to shake hands. Nana apologizes and is actually nice to them telling them they’ve really played the hardest they could. 

Doyeon, however, doesn’t shake Sooyoung’s hand and clutches onto Jinsoul’s wrist squeezing it and making the girl squeal out in pain. Sooyoung shoots under the net and pushes Doyeon and the girl laughs as the whistles start to blow and Nana starts to pull her off. Sooyoung was seething with anger, “meet me in the parking lot bitch.” The red-head nods and spits on the sand. 

Jinsoul grabs Sooyoung and starts to drag her off and she shakes the blonde’s grip off her, “I have a fight I gotta go to.” 

Sooyoung is grabbed again when she starts to follow Doyeon, “no Sooyoung it’s time to go home we lost.” Coach V is yelling at her as well. She doesn’t even notice her teammates and sisters watching from afar. She was way too pissed and she just wanted to smack the fuck out of Doyeon’s head. 

Hyejoo turns to Yerim, “it’s about to be a…”

“GIRL FIGHT!” Yerim finishes. 

Doyeon makes it out to the parking lot and waits. It was off official grounds and they wouldn’t get in trouble if they were caught. After her coach dismissed her she came straight out here. She smiles when she sees Sooyoung striding towards the pavement and when they lock eyes chills run down her spine. 

As soon as Sooyoung sees the taller girl there’s a fire lit in her chest and she starts to run. This fight has been boiling for ages but today was the final straw. Doyeon throws the first punch and misses, the fight starts when Sooyoung lands one on Doyeon’s side. Jinsoul can only watch as they pummel each other to death. Nana trying to break them apart. Suddenly there’s another girl that appears, Hyunjin and she clocks Doyeon right in the jaw. 

They tag team Doyeon and Nana finally fights back. It’s an all-out brawl and people are starting to gather. Hyunjin has Nana on the ground while Doyeon and Sooyoung are equally beating the fuck out of each other until the smaller of the two trips. Hyunjin reacts though and lays off Nana to pull the redhead off her sister. She was always the better fighter. 

There’s whistling around so they stop and Doyeon clearly pissed that her pretty face was beaten to a pulp starts to yell out, “fuck you Sooyoung!”

Sooyoung’s whole head is throbbing and she can feel the blood pouring out of her mouth. Jinsoul is holding onto her tightly. Her arm slung over the blonde’s shoulders, her vision is becoming a little blurry. “Awe look at you two…too bad she doesn’t give a fuck about you Sooyoung! Maybe I should tell you the real reason she cut you off!” Sooyoung doesn’t understand, this fight was between them so why was Jinsoul involved. 

Why was Doyeon saying those things? Jinsoul cared about her right? Looking up at the blonde she stumbles a bit, Jinsoul’s jaw is clenched tightly staring ahead. Sooyoung shakes her head. Jinsoul wasn’t like that. Sooyoung doesn’t know why Jinsoul cut her off. Did she need to know? “Should I tell her Jinsoul? Why you hate me now too?” Sooyoung doesn’t get to hear the rest of it because she’s being dragged away. She stares at the ground watching Jinsoul’s footsteps and at the blood dripping down on her shirt. 

“What is she talking about Jinsoul?” She asks almost desperately.

The blonde only shakes her head, “nothing Sooyoung just ignore it.”

Sooyoung’s led to Jinsoul’s jeep and the girl helps her into it. Sooyoung is tired and the pain makes her want to pass out but the light tapping at her cheek keeps her away. “Stay with me I’m gonna clean you up.” Sooyoung nods and lifts her arms as Jinsoul takes her shirt off. Jinsoul then leans up at the front rummaging through something. Sooyoung gets a bit dizzy and falls forward resting her head against Jinsoul’s waist. 

The blonde comes back though and pushes her back up. Sooyoung looks down at the first aid kit and Jinsoul’s manicured nails. They’re pretty she thinks, Jinsoul’s always had pretty hands. She hisses when the alcohol dab makes contact with the cut on her cheek. Jinsoul laughs at her and softly mutters out, “when are you going to realize that fighting is not going to solve anything.”

Sooyoung finds the words familiar. So familiar it’s making her space out, to a dark place. Somewhere she never wanted to go again. The soft hand rubbing on her thigh slowly turns into a blur since her eyes are becoming filled with tears. Fighting never solved anything. Then why was that the only thing she could think to do?

_She’s at the hospital, for fighting again. This time it was a rowdy boy trying to get her number. What she didn’t know is that he didn’t care to hit girls. Sooyoung regrets throwing the punch because now she had a broken rib and a busted cheek. He slapped her down then kicked her. She almost felt pathetic with how weak she was. “Sweetie do you have anyone you can call?” The nurse asks her. Sooyoung just shakes her head no._

_The police tried to get a statement out of her but she couldn’t remember the boy’s face. Her mom was at work her aunt was out of town and her Granma couldn’t function a vehicle. She didn’t have enough to pay for the medical bill. They told her that they could send her family the bill but she refused. Her mother had already struggled so much. So now she sat her with a stitched up face a belly full of pain pills and nowhere to go._

_Her last option was the only other person she had beside her family. But she was so scared because that girl hated her and told her to leave her alone. That she didn’t want anything to do with Sooyoung. “I’d like to make a call.” The nurse nods and brings Sooyoung to the telephone. The fifteen-year-old picked up the phone and dialed the number she knew by heart. Not only two years ago she was calling this number every night just to talk into the morning. But that was only when the girl wasn’t in her bed sleeping soundly next to her._

_Now Sooyoung’s nights were lonely._

_It rings a few times and picks up. It’s Chaewon’s voice, “Hello? Who’s there?” Sooyoung smiles at the babyish tone. The girl was just turning into a teen._

_“Chae it’s me put your sister on the line.” She mumbles out and the younger girl happily obliges like nothing was wrong. The younger girl babbles a moment excited to talk to Sooyoung before yelling for her sister._

_Sooyoung listens closely to their conversation and it hurts. It still hurts. “Jinsoul it’s Soo she wants to talk.”_

_“Tell her I’m busy.”_

_“What? But you’re not just-.”_

_“I don’t want to talk to her okay?”_

_Sooyoung grips the phone tighter and yells into it. Loud enough so that Jinsoul can hear. The line is silent for a few moments until some muffled whispers break out. She can’t help but feel her heart melt at the deep tone of Jinsoul’s voice. The slow mutter of her speech relaxing Sooyoung instantly. It was pathetic, how weak she was for Jinsoul. How much of an effect the girl still had on her._

_“How many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone? I don’t want to talk, I have nothing to say.” Jinsoul angrily spits out. Like she was frustrated with Sooyoung._

_Sighing into the phone she pleads, “I’m at the hospital I have no money to pay for the bill.”_

_She can hear the scoff on the other line, “seriously Sooyoung? What does that have to do with-.”_

_“Please, I have nobody else.” Sooyoung waits patiently and closes her eyes when the line goes static, she slams the phone back down making the nurses jump. They all look at her with a worried expression. What fifteen year old didn’t have anybody? The emergency contact she had down was an individual who was deceased, the girl wouldn’t give out any more information._

_Sooyoung is sitting in the waiting room now just waiting for her mom’s shift to be over. It wouldn’t be until four am…in six hours. Her sisters must be getting worried. Thirty-minutes later she sees a familiar figure wisp down the hallway of the hospital. Sooyoung stands up now better from the pain medicine and slowly makes her way out._

_Stepping out into the hallway her heart picks up the pace tenfold as she watches Jinsoul talk to the nurses pulling out a small black card to presumably pay the medical bill. Sooyoung is thankful because if her Granma found out she was fighting again she would be done for. Jinsoul had on her striped red shirt, the one Sooyoung had got her for her 12 th birthday. It fit her a little tighter now. But it made the girl look even better. _

_It’s pathetic how the smiles breaks out on her face. Maybe Jinsoul did still care about her. Maybe she still loved her. She was here after all. Jinsoul is shaking her head at something when she turns around. Sooyoung doesn’t know what’s darker. Her eyes or her hair. Jinsoul isn’t smiling like she is, a frown is present on her face. The girl seems like she’s in pain, Sooyoung forgets she’s the one supposed to be hurt here._

_Jinsoul starts to walk towards her and passes her up. Sooyoung starts to follow her like a lost puppy, “you came.”_

_“I did now shut up.” She can’t help but giggle at that. Jinsoul was shorter than her, the girl had hit her growth spurt earlier than her younger friend. Maybe Sooyoung was delusional. Thinking that she and Jinsoul were still the same old best friends._

_Jinsoul was driven here in a sharp black car and she opens the door and crawls in. Sooyoung greets the woman who’s driving. It’s not Jinsoul’s mother. It’s her nanny or whatever they called her. Some hired help. The woman had raised Jinsoul and Chaewon. Not their parents, “can you tell dad you didn’t bring me here?” She nods her head and turns to Sooyoung. She just says a quick hello before turning back around to drive. The car ride is silent. But the tension is loud. Sooyoung notices how Jinsoul is bouncing her legs up and down she must be nervous but why?_

_Thirty minutes later, almost midnight now, Sooyoung’s in Jinsoul’s fancy bathroom sitting on the expensive sink counter. It was huge. In the middle was a Jacuzzi and to the side was a nice step in shower. It just screams upper class. Jinsoul’s dad did own three hospitals and her mother was a famous writer. It explains why they were never home._

_Jinsoul stood between her legs re-stitching her cheek cleaning up her face, “they didn’t do this right at all.” Sooyoung closely observes the girl. Jinsoul was still baby faced but her jawline was getting a little sharper along with her lips getting fuller. Her eyes were shaking a little as she carefully did the stitches. “Does it not hurt?” The girl asks and Sooyoung shakes her head. Not when Jinsoul was this close to her. Nothing could hurt her._

_Sooyoung makes the mistake of blurting out her feelings when the girl finishes, “Thank you for tonight, I miss ya you know?” The younger girl drops her head down low. It drops along with Sooyoung’s heart. In a desperate attempt to try to rekindle their friendship to reverse whatever happened to them she clings onto the girl. Still to this day she doesn’t know how it became like this. “I love you so much.”_

_“Stop Sooyoung.” Jinsoul tries to back away but Sooyoung keeps a hold on her._

_Grabbing the girl’s face she makes them lock eyes. She doesn’t know why Jinsoul was on the verge of tears. Did she hate her that much? “Why are you doing this Jinsoul I don’t know what I did wrong?” One day everything was normal and then the next Jinsoul was cold. It was like a light switch._

_Jinsoul pushes off of her and backs away, “This! This is what’s wrong you never listen to me! I’ve asked you to leave me alone over and over again but you keep finding a way to…just stop Sooyoung.” Sooyoung hops off of the sink counter. She doesn’t know which emotion is more powerful. Anger or fear. She feels both for Jinsoul._

_“Because you’re my best friend Jinsoul am I not allowed to have an explanation or at least try and fix this?” She screams at the girl this is the first time they’ve talked this long in a year. Usually, Jinsoul just brushed her off or ignored her._

_Looking into the mirror Jinsoul starts to slowly mumble out and Sooyoung finally listens, “We are not friends anymore, none of this matters Sooyoung it never did.” Sooyoung still doesn’t understand no matter how much she listens. Jinsoul doesn’t make any sense. It just hurts._

_“I was only friends with you because I felt sorry for you.” Sooyoung turns to face the mirror as well. Her cheek is swollen and blue._

_Jinsoul plays her own words back on her and the anger rises, “because you have nobody Sooyoung and I was tired of being that somebody to you.”_

_Facing Jinsoul she pushes the girl. It’s not hard but it’s to release the frustration, “So when you said you’d always be by my side that was a lie?”_

_“Yes.”_

_Sooyoung shakes her head, Jinsoul won’t even look at her, “You didn’t mean it when you told me I was your everything?”_

_“You are nothing to me.”_

_Stepping closer to the girl she feels the tears start to drop down her cheeks, “You don’t love me Jinsoul?_

_Jinsoul goes quiet then. There’s not a reply until there is one. In the form of a head shake and a choked sob. Sooyoung shakes her head along with the girl, “bullshit Jinsoul you’re lying why are you lying?”_

_What she doesn’t expect is when she’s pushed back hard and Jinsoul is breathing heavily as she spits out, “fuck off Sooyoung!” Friends come and go Sooyoung thinks. It’s easy to lose a friend, but Jinsoul was so much more than that. Jinsoul was her first love. They shared everything with each other. Including their hearts. But Jinsoul snatched Sooyoung’s away and took it with her._

_“When are you going to realize that fighting when things don’t go your way is going to fix the problem?” Jinsoul asks her but Sooyoung doesn’t have the answer. “Stop fighting this and me just accept that we are nothing and never will be anything.” It’s the start of something. The start of their true downfall. When Sooyoung realizes that Jinsoul isn’t who she thought she was._

_“I’m not the girl you want me to be I’ll never be that girl, I’m not some fantasy. This is real life and you need to grow up and see that people won’t always be who you want them to be.” Jinsoul is shaking terribly still pushing on Sooyoung’s weak body. The pain killers were wearing off now and Sooyoung’s broken rib was reminding her she shouldn’t be here._

_“I never asked you to be anything Jinsoul.” She quietly mumbles out. Sooyoung wants to go now. She was tired of this. She didn’t want to try for Jinsoul anymore._

_Jinsoul mutters back, “You asked me to be your friend.” Sooyoung is pushed again, “I can’t be your stupid fucking friend anymore.”_

_“So grow up and move on it’s your responsibility to let it go no matter if you want to or not.” Jinsoul’s words are like venom now. It stings every time the girl speaks._

_With one last attempt, she asks, “If you didn’t care why did you help me tonight?”_

_Jinsoul’s response becomes a scar, “I didn’t do this because I care about you, if something ended up happening to you I didn’t want your blood on my hands.”_

She winces at the alcohol seeping into the cut. Sooyoung stares at Jinsoul, the girl is a little panicky and shakes as she cleans her up. Sooyoung wonders who she was in love with all those years ago. Was it the caring and sweet girl smiling at her right now? Or was it the girl from the second coldest night in her life despite it being the summer solstice. 

Jinsoul smiles at her and rubs at her cheek affectionately, “I’m sorry it hurts,” she’s referring to the cut and the alcohol, “I’m only doing it because I care about you.” Her scar on her cheek from years ago was faded. But the scar on her heart wasn’t close to being healed.

“Only because you care about me?” Jinsoul stops dabbing the alcohol on her cheek and gives her a funny look that’s basically making Sooyoung feel stupid. She had thought she had gotten over everything Jinsoul had done to her. Those constant years of mistreatment. Really she had just buried it and Jinsoul’s expression was the right reaction.

Sooyoung was stupid.

Pushing the blonde off she starts to breathe heavily. Who was Jung Jinsoul again? “Bull shit.” Sooyoung had gotten her apology but it wasn’t enough. She needed an explanation. No matter how many times Jinsoul apologized it wouldn’t help her move on from the past. It just left her more confused. Why had Jinsoul done that she doesn’t know. “Bullshit Jinsoul.” But she wasn’t just going to let the blonde back into her life as nothing had happened. It still hurt so much. 

Sooyoung had not realized it until now since it was flashing in her mind. That same feeling she got when Jinsoul had told her she was nothing. Sooyoung had never come face to face with it because she didn’t want to believe it was real. She wishes it was all a nightmare. But no that Jinsoul was real…so real.

“I thought nobody cared about me because of you.” She remembers how hard it was to detach herself from Jinsoul. How much of an effort it was not to think about Jinsoul every hour of every day. Sooyoung was only a kid then when it first started to happen. It was confusing to her. How somebody could love you so much and the next minute hates you. 

Jinsoul knew exactly what she was talking about. It’s something they really didn’t get to talk about. Sooyoung had her tantrum on the beach that one day but she was intoxicated. She couldn’t remember her feelings then but now they were so real. “I forgot that I was somebody to so many people. That so many people cared about me and I disappointed them because I was so strung up on you!” 

Sooyoung pushes the girl again and Jinsoul’s back bumps the car door, “you shouldn’t matter to me because you never gave a shit about me.” Sooyoung is shaking her head. She can’t even look at Jinsoul right now. She doesn’t want to remind herself of that night any more than she has to. Sooyoung didn’t know who to believe. The Jinsoul from just a week ago or the one from those years. It was hard to tell who was telling the truth. Was Sooyoung everything to her? Or was she nothing.

“But you do…you matter so much to and I just forgave you like nothing because I _care_ about you. I was so happy that you wanted to be in my life again I just forgot about all the fucking bullshit you put me through.” Sooyoung laughs. It was so funny when she thinks about it now. “Seriously you thought a cute poster board was going to fix our past and I wanted it to work so badly.” She can’t make herself though. How much would she have to look over just to forgive Jinsoul?

Sooyoung’s getting lighter by the second. She didn’t know she could be so moody but for some reason, the blonde’s words had pulled all that back out. Her feelings she guesses. Now that she was getting it off of her chest it felt a little better but also at the same time her attachment to Jinsoul was weakening. “I tried so hard for you. To give you what you want but this time I don’t think I can.”

“I don’t know who you really are Jinsoul I don’t know how I’m supposed to know. I feel like you’ve never shown me.” Sooyoung cringes at the sob that breaks out into the car. She finally looks up at the girl and of course, her heart breaks at the site. Sooyoung still loved Jinsoul after all, or she loved the girl she wanted Jinsoul to be. 

It’s hard to distinguish what Jinsoul says but Sooyoung listens closely, “I’m trying now Sooyoung…please just let me.”

Wiping the rest of the blood on her face it reminds her of the day Jinsoul broke her nose. For some reason, Sooyoung thought that hurt less than everything else. That time she felt like she deserved it. “How can I trust you?” It’s a simple question but Sooyoung knows the answer is nothing short of complicated. 

“Don’t do this to me.” It sounds genuine but Sooyoung forces herself to not fall into it. She can’t make herself feel sorry for the blonde. Sooyoung can’t fall for her again. 

Grabbing the door handles she looks at Jinsoul one last time, “I asked you to do the same thing remember?”

“I’m sorry I can’t be the girl you want me to be anymore.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Sorry this is so serious and confusing…but um well I have nothing to say hehe. I hope this is still okay!

This chapter was so long but I had to finish out the tournament. It will go back to being under 10k after this. Now they are enemies again but it will be a little more fun this time. No more SERIOUS stuff I promise. But this angst so I had to do it or whatever.

  



	6. Jealousy is a disease

The picture of her and Jinsoul was shaking in her hand. Yesterday she had gone straight home showered, patched her face up or really her mother did and got out the box filled with old pictures and memories. Now she had spent all last night and today looking at them. Like the countless movie and water park tickets. All the little notes Jinsoul would write her and the drawings Sooyoung made of the girl. Her sister is across from her staring. Sooyoung can’t handle it for some reason. She had never cried like this over Jinsoul.

But right now she was wailing like a newborn baby. “Can you like shut up?” Glaring at Hyunjin she throws her pillow at the laughing girl. It was like the stages of a breakup but Sooyoung hadn’t dated Jinsoul…she just had their babies names picked out and the wedding planned. First, it was denial, Sooyoung thought Jinsoul was having a bad day when she told her that she never wanted to talk to her again.

Then that bad day turned into a week and Jinsoul would lock herself in a bathroom stall with how much Sooyoung bothered her. Then a week turned into a month…months turned into a year and years turned into this. Sooyoung once had a tab keeping up with how many times Jinsoul told her to leave her alone but Sooyoung kept coming around. 

Next stage was the pleading. It was mixed in with the denial. Sooyoung asked her every day what she did wrong. What she could do to fix it but she always got the same answer. Nothing…because Jinsoul would ignore her. Sooyoung remembers one day she sat at the library and annoyed Jinsoul for hours. Every ten minutes she would ask why Jinsoul hated her. When the younger girl wouldn’t answer, her dark hair in a low ponytail was pulled by Sooyoung and she would receive a smack to the arm by Jinsoul. 

Then the insults started to happen, Sooyoung would call the girl ugly, fat, stupid, stuck up, bitchy, cold, boring, a prude, everything imaginable. For a year she would always apologize afterward…telling Jinsoul that she didn’t mean it and that she was probably the most perfect human being Sooyoung had ever met. But the girl in specs would just look at her and then go about her business. It was like she was some ghost to Jinsoul. The only time the girl acknowledged her existence is when she was telling her to leave her alone. 

Sooyoung cries a little harder when she remembers how desperate she sounded. “ _Yeah yeah leave you alone you tell me that every time well guess what Jinsnot.”_ The teenager would look at her clearly annoyed. “ _No? I’m not leaving you alone, Why would I do that… anyways will you come over_ _today_?” Jinsoul was pulling her hair out at that point. Sooyoung was persistent because well she was obsessed with Jinsoul. But not anymore. She was over Jinsoul, she wasn’t going to let her have this hold on her anymore. 

There’s a particular picture she pulls out, it’s Jinsoul kissing her on the cheek and a whole new flood of emotions pull over her. Her anger phase has been for the past couple of years. When she started to not apologize for her rudeness when she actually wanted to hurt Jinsoul just like she hurt her. Now this phase was probably the worst. It was the relapse, the one where she just wanted to be held and cry over Jinsoul.

Throwing the picture down she starts to breathe heavily. Who did Jinsoul think she was? Some pussy that just accepts half-assed apologies with no explanations. Sooyoung did do that but now she played the reverse card. How could Jinsoul just fuck around with for years putting her through this wishy-washy ghosting and then just popping back in and smiling begging Sooyoung to be friends again? No Sooyoung was not having it. 

In a way, it was all that Sooyoung has wanted these past few years. Just for one day for Jinsoul to snap out of it and be her best friend again. But now that it happened she understood it wasn’t that easy. Sooyoung still feared that one-day Jinsoul would do it again. She still didn’t know why Jinsoul did it…and when she had solid answers then…then she would consider being Jinsoul’s other half again.

It was only fair, right?

It was all so confusing to her. Almost eight years ago Jinsoul said she was done with her. Only a couple of weeks ago Jinsoul said she wanted to be in her life again. What made Jinsoul change her mind? Did she feel sorry for Sooyoung again? If that was the case she would clock the shit out of Jinsoul. She didn’t need a pity friend. Even if Jinsoul was all she ever wanted. Sooyoung wanted answers, needed them or she was going to go crazy.

She wasn’t the kind of person to play pretend and act all happy with Jinsoul when the girl figuratively ripped her heart out and ate it for breakfast. Jinsoul better have one hell of an explanation or Sooyoung was going to cut her out of her life. Just like she cut Sooyoung out of hers. It would take a lot for Sooyoung to do it because Jinsoul meant so much to her but she would figure it out. Some way or another.

What did Jinsoul truly want from her? 

Hyunjin is sat across from her, just staring, “you okay now?”

“No.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Her sister shrugs and continues to stare. It annoys Sooyoung. Throwing down the pictures she lays on her bed. Her face was sore from Doyeon. The girl even had the audacity to DM her a set of nude pictures on Instagram with the message ‘ _I know I’m not the only one that got horny from that_.’ Sooyoung spent a considerable amount of time looking at them because Doyeon was hot. But she felt nothing at all. Jinsoul was still on her mind and it was hard to even begin to think about anyone else. 

So the pictures of Doyeon’s naked body was deleted and instead she spent the time on Instagram looking at Jinsoul’s feed. Jinsoul was so cute, Sooyoung cried into her pillow after looking at all the pictures. It was a few selfies of course at a weird angle. Videos of Chaewon being annoyed with her. Pictures of Gundam models and plushies. Her attempts at various celebrity impressions that were bad, except the singing ones and a bunch of pictures of the sky. 

All captioned _I love you_. Clear skies, night skies, cloudy or stormy. All captioned the same thing. Sooyoung cried so much last night. Just thinking of how it could really be. She hated this phase. Maybe she should just play pretend.

There’s a knock on the door. Yerim slowly peeks her head in and so does Hyejoo. Sooyoung raises her brow, what did they want? When the door fully opens she doesn’t know whether to be angry or sad. Whatever emotion it is, she wants to start crying again.

Hyunjin runs out of the room as the other three are standing there. Jinsoul is standing behind the twins with puffy eyes, dark circles making the redness in them more prominent. The girl was still in her clothes from yesterday. Sooyoung just tries to find something in her eyes. She sees pain mostly and a bit of sadness. Jinsoul tries to speak out but it becomes a strain of choked out words. The twins go to sit on Hyunjin’s bed and the older girl returns with a bag of popcorn.

It’s a stare down. Jinsoul awkwardly standing while Sooyoung is lying on her bed. The blonde whines a little but sucks it up. Sooyoung could tell she was having a hard time. “I, will you talk to me?” Sooyoung shakes her head no. If she would talk right now she would cry. “Why? Please, Sooyoung you’re not giving me a chance.”

“So? You didn’t give me a chance.” Jinsoul throws her head back and slaps her hands on her thighs out of frustration. 

Jinsoul brings her gaze back to her. “Seriously? We were doing so good.”

“Doesn’t matter if we were doing good, doesn’t change the past and how shitty you were to me.” Sooyoung snaps. They were pretending that Jinsoul didn’t do what she did. Sooyoung was stupid to forget. She was having such a hard time forgiving Jinsoul.

Jinsoul steps forward, “I’m trying to make up for the past Sooyoung, I apologized-.”

Sooyoung stands up making the girl stop midsentence. She strides over to the poster board at the end of her bed and holds it up for Jinsoul, “you mean this half-assed shit?” Jinsoul cries as Sooyoung tears it in half and then into smaller pieces. When she’s finished she tosses the pieces at Jinsoul’s feet.

“Fuck you Jinsoul, I don’t want an apology I want an explanation and then you can apologize all you want.” The blonde shakes her head and squats down to pick up the pieces. Sooyoung glances up at her sisters who are watching the exchange like an entertainment show. 

“I can’t give you one you just have to trust me. I won’t ever hurt you again I promise!” Jinsoul pleads out as she stands back up with her poster in hand. Sooyoung knocks them out of her hands.

Raising her voice she stands her ground, “no Jinsoul I want to know why you hated me so much! Why the fuck would you do that to your best friend!” The blonde looks down at the poster board. All ripped up in pieces crumbled in her hands. 

“I can’t tell you.” She whispers.

“Yes, you can!” Sooyoung yells back.

Jinsoul pushes her, “No I can’t because you’ll hate me!” She screams out and one of the girls' watching gasps. Probably Yerim, Sooyoung shakes her head. 

Another voice speaks up, “well Jindori you’re not in a great position right now either so might as well tell her…what have you got to lose?” Yerim explains and it was true. Sooyoung was not in any way going to forgive Jinsoul until she got full closure and if the girl was never going to give her that they might as well kiss their friendship goodbye because it would never happen. 

Sooyoung stands completely still as Jinsoul stumbles forward grabbing at her tank top. She starts to shake when Jinsoul gives her the puppy dog eyes, “no that’s not working this time!” She shouts and pushes the girl’s hands off of her. Jinsoul stomps on the ground like a kid who got their candy taken away from them.

“Sooyoung stop acting like this we don’t have to fight anymore!” Crossing her arms she shakes her head no. There was no way.

Jinsoul pretty much throws a hissy fit right in front her. She wasn’t getting what she wanted, Sooyoung was not being the girl she wanted her to be. “Fine, then I’ll make you be my friend again.” 

“How so?”

The blonde shrugs and laughs, Sooyoung thinks she’s gone insane, “I don’t know annoy you? Pretty much follow you around? Beg you until you finally give in.” Sooyoung’s inner ego is eating this up. Jinsoul begging for her back then was some fantasy she had conjured up in her mind. Teenage Sooyoung would have probably given in right there but right now she wasn’t having any of it no matter how good it felt.

“You will be my friend again regardless of what you want.” The possessive tone makes her nerves electrified. Jinsoul was giving her this look that screamed danger and for some odd reason, Sooyoung was loving it. God why couldn’t Jinsoul just tell her, why couldn’t they really just work this out.

Sooyoung snorts, “what are you some stalker? I’ll put a restraining order on you.”

Jinsoul rolls her eyes, “Yeah right you probably secretly enjoy this.” Her smile falls and Jinsoul laughs but it’s not a nice one because the girl is drunk off anger. It was just like that one game they played against Kyungri. “Is that what you want Sooyoung? For me to act like you? Well, I am because I’m not giving you up this time.”

Sooyoung has no idea what the girl is talking about. “Give me up?” The blonde shakes her head and turns to leave. Sooyoung doesn’t get an answer, Jinsoul just left. Sooyoung is confused by the temper tantrum and goes to sit back on her bed.

Hyejoo calls out, “what was that all about?” Her sisters knew the basics of why they weren’t friends anymore. Sooyoung had told them last night and all three of them were disappointed in Jinsoul. They had always looked up to her. Hyunjin was the only one that really knew all that went on and she didn’t really like Jinsoul that much in the first place. She hated how loud and emotional the girl was.

Then all the sudden Jinsoul’s back in the room with a bag in hand with a few boxes of pizza. “I’m staying over.” The blonde states matter of factly. Sooyoung gives her the worst look imaginable. Jinsoul sits her overnight bag on the floor and gives the hollering girls the pizza. Sooyoung is already being pushed aside. Her sisters were supposed to be here for her. But they were won over with a greasy pizza. 

Jinsoul turns to her and smiles, “so you wanna cuddle?” Sooyoung cannot believe what came out of Jinsoul’s mouth.

“Fuck no I want you to leave.” Jinsoul’s smile drops along with her arms that were spread out. Sooyoung would like to do that. But she keeps reminding herself she’s mad at Jinsoul and she’s not her plaything. No matter how bad she wanted to be Jinsoul’s girl again. She wasn’t going to be the girl Jinsoul wanted her to be. 

Her sisters notice the tension and the twins hop up grabbing onto the blonde and dragging her off, “come on Jindori let’s go play Mario Kart!” Jinsoul protests but two teens on the side of her are too much to handle and she’s taken out of the room.

Sooyoung sighs out in relief thankful that her sisters did that for her. Hyejoo winked at her before closing the door. Hyunjin is still chowing down on the pizza when she comes over to sit next to her, throwing an arm over her shoulders. Hyunjin never comforted her but when she did Sooyoung would always instantly feel better. “I think you shouldn’t be so hard on her.”

Pushing her sister she whines at her, “seriously you too?”

Hyunjin shrugs, “I mean what if she had a good reason to cut you off? You were ugly. She clearly regrets it, give her time and she’ll tell you.” Sooyoung sniffles. Her sister was stupid and she reminded herself to never tell her secrets to her again.

“You’re supposed to be on my side.” She mutters out.

“I am but she’s hurting too Sooyoung.” Hyunjin knows there’s clearly something up between the two. The poster board. This weird tension between them. The obvious longing for each other. She could tell her sister wanted to give in but her need for an explanation was valid. Jinsoul was also suffering, when Hyunjin was taking out the trash she spotted the blue jeep. That was an hour ago, she was probably building herself up for this.

Sooyoung nods, but she still isn’t going to forgive Jinsoul that easily. She can come around all she likes but Sooyoung isn’t going to give her that satisfaction of being ‘ _friends_ ’ until she had a plausible explanation. Hyunjin pats her on the back before telling her she’s heading over to Heejin’s. Sooyoung smiles and thanks her sister before turning over in her bed, crawling underneath the sheets. 

She starts to cry again. For no reason except remembering the past. Jinsoul’s hurtful words replaying in her mind over again. Sooyoung must have been crying for an hour. Her eyes were swollen and her pillow was a little wet from all the tears. There’s a bunch of tissues littered in the corner too. It was pathetic really. Finally the sleep was coming to her even though it was only around seven. She guesses she could go to sleep and maybe Jinsoul would leave.

Turning on her back she looks at the ceiling before closing her eyes. Not only a few minutes later she feels the bed dip. Forcing her eyes back open she gasps when Jinsoul is hovering over top of her staring at her face. Sooyoung just lets the girl crawl on top of her and Jinsoul straddles her waist and pins her arms to her side so she can’t move. “You were crying?” 

Sooyoung doesn’t say anything as the girl studies her face. Jinsoul’s eyes flicker between her own searching for something. Sooyoung’s heartbeat quickens at the warmth Jinsoul’s giving off. She silently thanks god there’s a blanket between them because she doesn’t think she’d be able to handle Jinsoul’s thighs wrapped around her waist like that. 

It turns out she spoke too soon because Jinsoul’s pulling the cover down and maneuvering herself under before laying on top of her. “No, get off of me you weirdo!” Jinsoul doesn’t listen and pulls the cover back over them. Sooyoung is squirming beneath her slapping her in the shoulder. Once the blonde has them covered back up she tangles her legs with Sooyoung’s and wraps her arms around the girl’s body.

Sooyoung is completely restricted. Her legs have succumbed to Jinsoul’s own, her arms are locked to her side and she can’t move. The blonde sighs as she lays her head on her chest and squeezes her whole body. Sooyoung knows she should probably try to fight the girl off but Jinsoul being wrapped around her like this was making her feel a type of way.

They sit in silence. Sooyoung not really knowing what was going on while Jinsoul was enjoying how sweaty Sooyoung was. Sooyoung peeks down when Jinsoul moves her head to the side and inhales. “Mm you smell good,” Jinsoul mumbles out against her chest. Sooyoung knows she didn’t smell good because she was greasy and forgot to put deodorant on after she showered yesterday.

“You’re so gross get off of me.” Jinsoul chuckles at Sooyoung trying to break loose from her embrace. It wasn’t fair to her. Jinsoul had this effect on her that she couldn’t resist. She was still so attached to her. The blonde just holds her tighter. Jinsoul knew exactly what she was doing. She knew Sooyoung didn’t have the willpower to resist her.

No matter how many times she’d tell herself. She’d always be the girl Jinsoul wants her to be. Because she never changed like Jinsoul did. Sooyoung was still the same Sooyoung and Jinsoul still loved her for who she was, not for the person she wanted Sooyoung to be. Sooyoung however didn’t know who she loved. The girl who she thought Jinsoul was or the real Jinsoul. She didn’t know which was which.

The girl plants a kiss to her chest and it makes Sooyoung freeze. Her lips were so soft. Jinsoul laughs again and lays her head on her chest again, “you know you love me.” Sooyoung scoffs and turns her head to the side and stares at the wall. “Say it Sooyoung, say you love me.” The blonde whispers out like she was almost afraid. 

“I don’t, actually I hate you and I wish you would get off of me.” Jinsoul doesn’t take it to heart because both of them knows the truth. Sooyoung whines when Jinsoul leans up and bites her neck hard. It makes her shiver and feels something down below. Sooyoung scolds herself for being so sensitive. “Don’t do that!”

Jinsoul buries her face in her neck, cool breaths of air are hitting her skin. “You liked it when we were in Mr. Kim’s room.” Sooyoung’s heart stops at the memory. Out of all the times, she’s fucked hot girls she’s never felt on fire like she did on that day. Sooyoung has had some steamy quickies to passionate all-nighters but not once has she felt that way again with another girl. 

“I’m so glad you never actually left me alone because I don’t think I could handle it. You not being around.” Jinsoul tells her. Sooyoung has no idea what went through Jinsoul’s head those years. The blonde was still a mystery to her. But now she was starting to think Jinsoul actually did care about her. Because why would she go through all this trouble just to try and win Sooyoung back. “I kissed you that day because I was starting to lose your attention.” 

Sooyoung recalls the kiss. It was…definitely something. She couldn’t stop thinking about it forever. “And now you’re trying to run away again, don’t tell me I have to kiss you.” Sooyoung groans and shakes her head. She did not want Jinsoul to kiss her because she doesn’t know what kind of feelings that would incite. Also, she knew Jinsoul was only kidding by the way she was laughing.

“Was it out of frustration?” She asks. She really never knew what the kiss meant. But she guesses Jinsoul did it to win her attention back as she said. And she surely did. Sooyoung couldn’t keep her eyes off Jinsoul after that. 

She can feel Jinsoul nod against her, “and desperation.” It’s silent then. They were hormonal teenagers back then. Things that Sooyoung thought had a deeper mean truly didn’t. Jinsoul was just afraid Sooyoung would finally forget about her. In her attempt though she secured the fact that Sooyoung would never forget about her. 

“I thought you didn’t want my attention.” Sooyoung breathes out and Jinsoul says nothing. She just enjoys the blonde’s embrace. It was the same one she’d always do to keep Sooyoung grounded when she was feeling upset.

The blonde starts to mumble out onto her neck, “Every day I wanted to give into you. Sooyoung it was really hard.” Sooyoung blushes when Jinsoul nuzzles her nose into her. “I regret treating you that way so much but I had to pretend to not care about you.” Sooyoung tilts her head down, was Jinsoul going to tell her the truth? Why did she have to pretend? Who was she doing it for? 

“I was so angry and I took it out on you. That night I said all those things to you, I didn’t mean it. I wasn’t myself, I hated the person I had become.” Sooyoung listens carefully to make sure she didn’t miss a thing Jinsoul said. “I didn’t want to cut you off.”

She finally replies, “then why Jinsoul? Why did you do it?” 

“I can’t tell you.” Sooyoung shakes her head and sighs. This was starting to piss her off. Why was Jinsoul keeping it from her? “Just know that I could never hate you and I care about you so much.” 

“You’re so confusing I hate this.” Jinsoul laughs against her neck like it was all just some old story. 

The blonde kisses the skin below her ear and Sooyoung shudders. She hates how easy affection comes to Jinsoul. “I know I’m sorry but please don’t push me away Sooyoung. I’m begging you.” Of course, she feels herself caving in. The feeling she had last night in Jinsoul’s jeep was fading away. Hyunjin was right maybe Jinsoul just needed time.

“I’m sleeping with my Granma.” It’s not a yes or no. Sooyoung just needs time to figure it out. She needed to find this closure with or without Jinsoul.

“Until you tell me why I can’t fully forgive you and be your best friend again Jinsoul I’m sorry.” The blonde nods and tells her she understands. But also warns Sooyoung that she’s not going to give up this easily. Sooyoung raises up as the blonde tells her she’s never leaving her alone again. Sooyoung takes it as a challenge. She wonders if Jinsoul can win her back over without the truth. Or she wonders if she’ll end up actually getting it.

Crawling out of the bed she pushes Jinsoul harshly. Primarily for the attack. The blonde only smiles and lays back down in her bed. Sooyoung guesses she really was staying the night. Stepping downstairs she smiles when she sees her Granma watching TV on the futon and waddles up to it. “Can I sleep with you?” The older woman tears her eyes from the screen.

“Of course baby come on.” Sooyoung lays down next to her Granma but only a few seconds in she’s pushed off the mattress and onto the floor. “Wait a min’ you stank! Go back to your room or take a shower!” Sooyoung pouts and stands up. Her Granma smiles, “love you Soo.” She doesn’t feel like taking a shower so she waddles back up to her room and walks in. Jinsoul is hugging her pillow tightly with her face buried in it.

Narrowing her eyes she questions the blonde, “what the fuck are you doing.” She yelps and throws it back down. Sooyoung is a tad bit weirded out and goes to her sister’s bed. She doubts she’ll be back tonight. 

Sooyoung knows it’s going to be a long night with the way Jinsoul was staring at her. She was going to have to get used to this. 

Ignoring the blonde that is…even if it was the last thing she wanted to do.

…

“Sooyoung come on we’re going shopping.” Chaewon was standing in front of her. Sooyoung was fine sitting here in her bed like she has been for the past week. “It’s your birthday next week and you’re turning twenty-one we gotta get you a cute fit at least!” Sooyoung wouldn’t consider herself depressed but she’s only gotten out of bed for work and practice. She and Jinsoul…were okay at practice but not as good as they were at the games. 

Thank god their first game wasn’t until June. But for the time being Jinsoul had only bothered her by text and phone call. Jinsoul was terrible at texting always sending Sooyoung _U up?_ At three in the morning. Sooyoung would stare at the text and delete it. She wanted to forgive Jinsoul. But who was Jinsoul exactly? She was having a hard time coming in terms that the same Jinsoul that had kissed her boo boo’s away when she was seven was the same one that told her she wouldn’t care if she died. 

Sooyoung only had two questions for the blonde. Why did you do it? Why did you change your mind? Simple right? But it wasn’t so simple and Sooyoung would stay up all night thinking of the reasons why Jinsoul figured she’d just switch it up and turn into Sooyoung’s worst nightmare. Was it because Sooyoung was ugly? Annoying? Gay? When Sooyoung came out to Jinsoul the girl happily congratulated her. What if she didn’t know what it meant at the time and when she learned she was grossed out.

What if Jinsoul knew she was in love with her and freaked out? 

“Helloooo stop being a sad loser and put this on.” Chaewon blurts out and throws out a cute red summer dress with a sun hat. Sooyoung figures she should get out. Stripping in front of her blonde friend the girl squeals out, “Ewww your nipples are so weird!” Sooyoung rolls her eyes. Chaewon has probably seen her naked a hundred times and she had the same reaction every time. Sooyoung had uneven nipples so what? They were still sexy.

Sooyoung doesn’t even bother putting on underwear because she didn’t really care. They would probably just go to a few stores and eat. The dress was long enough to cover everything too. Throwing on the sun hat she twirls around. Chaewon hops up and down cheering her on. The blonde then darts out of her room. Sooyoung adjusts the straps on her shoulder and waves goodbye to her sister who was staring at the ceiling for no reason.

Walking out to the car…or Kirby she sighs at how hot it was. Even in the short sundress, she was going to fry. Sooyoung freezes when she sees who’s waiting in the back it’s Jinsoul is fiddling with her fingers. The girl looked hot since she was wearing all black, even a long sleeve shirt. Suddenly she wasn’t feeling too excited about going shopping. She still gets into the back seat not even noticing the new face in the front. “Sooyoung this is YooA say hi to her please.” The girl turns around and waves at her. Sooyoung raises her brows, this girl was hot. 

Jinsoul is staring holes through her when she reaches for the girl’s hand dangling. Instead of shaking it she brings it up to her lips kissing the skin there gently. “Please, you meet you YooA.” The girl with bangs laughs and both of the blondes beside them groan. Sooyoung doesn’t know why Jinsoul does. 

Chaewon rolls her eyes, “really Sooyoung?” The blonde gives her a look that _says please do not fuck this one_. Because the last time that happened the girl wrote about Sooyoung and the fact that she is a player in magic marker on the side of Kirby. Sooyoung had to wash Kirby for a month. But Chaewon had nothing to worry about because the way Jinsoul scoots all the way over and throws her arm on the seat behind her tells Sooyoung that she and YooA will not be getting to know each other today. 

Taking her sun hat off she starts to feel self-conscious about her appearance. Not because Jinsoul who was looking her up and down. But the hottie in the front not paying attention to her. At least that’s what she tells herself. The blonde leans in close and whispers into her ear, “you look pretty.” Sooyoung blushes and turns away. Jinsoul tries to get close again but Sooyoung pushes her back. 

“Stop!” Jinsoul yells as Sooyoung keeps pushing her around.

Sooyoung laughs when the car starts to zoom off and Jinsoul is thrown to the other side since she didn’t have her seatbelt on. It’s funny seeing the blonde trying to get back up but Chaewon’s driving is way too crazy. Sooyoung is laughing so hard she starts crying as the blonde fumbles side to side and finally up in the air when Chaewon slams on the breaks. “What the fuck are you doing Jinsoul!” The driver yells and they’re stopped in the middle of the road so there are vehicles honking at them.

Jinsoul puffs up and scoots back next to her and puts her seatbelt on. Sooyoung thinks it’s cute with how mad Jinsoul is at her sister. The car zooms off without warning and Sooyoung smiles as Jinsoul slumps over. The blonde turns to her and when she catches her smile she smiles as well. Sooyoung drops hers and turns her head to watch the pedestrians. 

The blonde tries to bother her by poking on her shoulder but Sooyoung ignores it. By the time they get to the first store she’s about to strangle Jinsoul with how much she’s annoyed her on the trip. Quickly she gets out of Kirby and opens the door for YooA. The girl smiles at Sooyoung and thanks her by placing her hand on her arm. She’s about to start walking with her until she’s pulled back by Jinsoul.

Sooyoung flares her nostrils as Jinsoul grabs her face pulling towards her own. “Hmm, your face is healing up nicely.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and pushes the hands off of her and leaves the blonde behind as she catches up to Chaewon and YooA. 

Putting on her player persona she throws an arm around the shorter girl with pigtails, “so YooA I couldn’t help but notice how fine you are.” Chaewon is giving her a death glare as her friend is blushing at the advances. 

The girl places a hand on her tummy and looks up into her eyes, “how’d you get those bruises.” 

Sooyoung rubs her thumb along her bottom lip. Jinsoul always said it made her look cool so she would do it in front of girls. It would always make them pay attention to her lips and Sooyoung knew she had nice ones. Her ego flares up when YooA won’t stop staring at them. “Oh, I was protecting this kid from some punks. It’s hard one against five.”

“Ha don’t let this LOSER tell you wrong. She got her ass kicked because she’s a sore LOSER.” Chaewon yells out and YooA looks away slowly removing herself from Sooyoung. Staring at her blonde friend Sooyoung starts to plot her assassination.

Jinsoul pops up behind them, “actually she was sticking up for me! Sooyoung totally won the fight!” YooA seems impressed and cuddles back into her as they’re walking. It’s ruined by another blonde this time. Sooyoung is shaking as Jinsoul pushes in between them breaking them apart. Jinsoul gives YooA a warning look, “we’re best friends.” Sooyoung glares at the finger gesturing between them and continues to walk on the pavement.

YooA only forces to smile and turns back to Chaewon. “Your sister and her friend are weird.” Chaewon ignores it. Why did she invite them again? They’re only arguing while she and YooA were having a good time. Jinsoul had begged to invite Sooyoung and out of the goodness of her heart she did and now she regrets it. She’s so embarrassed really because the two are in front of them bickering about god who knows what.

Entering into the store Sooyoung mumbles out, “I’m not holding your hand Humpty Dumpty it’s sweaty and we’re adults.” Sooyoung gave her condolences to Jinsoul for all those years. Jinsoul wasn’t half as annoying as she was and Sooyoung was ready to 619 Jinsoul into the glass display. She wonders how Jinsoul was able to handle her. 

The department store owner greets them as they walk in and instantly Sooyoung tries to go off on her own but Jinsoul is hot on her trail. “Stop following me!” Jinsoul doesn’t listen to her. Sooyoung turns around and Jinsoul gasps when they’re face to face. The blonde smiles though and holds something up. It’s cheetah print two piece. “No? That’s ugly.” 

Frowning Jinsoul holds it up to herself, “no it’s for me.” Sooyoung wants to laugh. So she does right in the blonde’s face but stops when she realizes Jinsoul’s serious. They continue shopping, Sooyoung trying to make Jinsoul put down all the hideous items she’s picked up. Sooyoung’s mostly picked up club dresses. They’re in the middle of arguing about yellow zebra pants when Jinsoul gasps and runs over to a manikin. 

Sooyoung actually really likes the outfit. A pink slip on dress, it’s silk with white gloves and go-go boots. Huffing when Jinsoul dumps all her clothes on her she watches as the blonde runs around the area getting the items identical to the manikin’s.

“Let’s go try these on!” Sooyoung rolls her eyes as she follows the blonde. She spots Chaewon and YooA talking to some guy working at the store. The blonde was probably trying to get a discount. Jinsoul grabs all her clothes first and wobbles behind the door. Five seconds later Jinsoul peaks out and gives her a questioning look, “are you coming?” 

Sooyoung blushes. Jinsoul…wanted her to come in the dressing room? She doesn’t really get the option when she’s dragged in and Jinsoul locks the door behind them. Watching the blonde bounce around the area Sooyoung goes to nervously hang her items up. Sooyoung doesn’t know what’s got her more worried. The fact that Jinsoul might change in front of her or the fact that she has no underwear on. Turning around she lets her jaw drop at Jinsoul already pulling her clothes off. 

It's not any different from her bikini she wears playing games but for some reason, Sooyoung starts to sweat. The site of Jinsoul’s ass in cute…Cinco de Mayo panties? Why was Jinsoul wearing those? Snorting she buries the urge to pinch the little bit of cheek hanging out of them. “I like your panties.”

Jinsoul hums and turns around to look at them, “thanks it’s my favorite sauce!” Sooyoung raises her brows in question. “You know spicy mayo?” 

Sooyoung frowns and explains to her.“It’s like a holiday. It means the fifth of May in Spanish.” The blonde stares at her and then opens her mouth in confusion. 

Sooyoung can tell she’s trying to figure it out, “Spanish? What’s that?” When Jinsoul asks that Sooyoung can feel herself losing her own brain cells.

“The language Jinsoul.” 

“Oh, I was just kidding jeez I’m not that dumb!” The blonde snorts and laughs before widening her eyes. The laughter stops and the blonde continues to change. First, it’s a pantsuit. Sooyoung thought it looked too good on Jinsoul. She made up a quick fantasy in her head that Jinsoul was the CEO of some company who was lesbian and killed her husband because she was a lesbian who hated men. She was the personal assistant to said CEO Jung and imagined what it would be like if Jinsoul bent her over a de-

“Can you help me with this?” Sooyoung is shaken from her daze and realizes that Jinsoul was in a completely different outfit. How long had she been spacing out? Standing up she reaches for the zipper of the skirt Jinsoul was trying to put on. It was stuck in the middle not going down or up. As she tries to wiggle it up Jinsoul is moving all over the place. 

Sooyoung lays her hand on the small of Jinsoul’s back and pushes her down. “Suck in.” The blonde does but the zipper still doesn’t budge. Jinsoul is making small little grunts as Sooyoung pulls it up. The blonde props herself on the mirror with both hands bending over a little more to suck in. Sooyoung is starting to get frustrated at the zipper and jerks it making Jinsoul whine when it pinches her back, “fuck I can’t get it to...”

Jinsoul sighs, “it’s so tight.” Sooyoung nods and breaks out into a sweat trying to get the zipper loose. “Do it a little harder.”

Sooyoung shakes her head, “it might hurt!” 

“Um is everything okay in there?” They both freeze at the voice outside. 

“Yeah, just the zipper is stuck!” The worker mumbles out something and Sooyoung watches the feet walk off. Sighing out in relief she turns back to the blonde and scolds her, “if your ass wasn’t so-.”

“Don’t say it.”

“If your ass wasn’t so fat then maybe you could fit in it.” Jinsoul frowns at her and then suddenly the anger appears and Sooyoung is being wacked by a clothes hanger. She’s guarding herself in the corner as Jinsoul goes to town on her. 

“I’ve been on a diet!” Sooyoung snaps out of it and grabs onto the hanger. 

Throwing the hanger down she turns Jinsoul around and points the topic of discussion, “bitches pay for this shit Jinsoul.” The blonde looks at her ass in the tight skirt. “It’s a compliment.” Jinsoul nods shyly and struggles to unzip it so Sooyoung does it for her. Jinsoul didn’t know how good she really looked. Sooyoung would like to show her, but they would be crossing the lines of friendship and Sooyoung reminded herself they weren’t even supposed to be friends right now.

Jinsoul thanks her for the compliment and the help as she starts to put her clothes back on. Sooyoung just watches her with soft eyes. Her resolve was slowly slipping away again around the blonde. “Why don’t you try on the pink dress?” Sooyoung quirks a brow.

“Hmm, I’d rather not.” Jinsoul smiles.

Sooyoung crosses her arms as Jinsoul steps forward and pokes at her tummy, “come on for me?” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and turns Jinsoul around telling her to not look or she’d be murdered. Sooyoung doesn’t pay attention as she slips off the sundress. She notices the yellowish bruise on her stomach where Doyeon hit her and frowns at the memory of that night

“hehe woah…” It's deep. Jinsoul's voice.

Looking up from the floor she feels the blood rushing to her face as Jinsoul is sitting on the small bench on the side openly staring at her body with a smug smile. “Why do you shave it like that?” Jinsoul closes her eyes when she’s smacked on the head. Sooyoung is panting at the girl now covering her face apologizing for peeping. A lot of people had seen her naked before even Jinsoul but that was when they were younger and Sooyoung didn’t have sexual fantasies about her. The fact Jinsoul seemed to be really interested in her landing strip was making her tummy turn to knots.

“Sooyoung?” The girl mumbles out. Sooyoung only hums as she slips on the dress.

The girl giggles before she says it, “you’re really sexy.” Sooyoung pulls the dress all the way up and thanks the girl. It doesn’t click in her mind what was actually said but when she does she almost faints. Did Jinsoul just call her sexy? Sooyoung is really red now and embarrassed at how it made her ego boost ten times and well…how it made her a little you know. “No wonder girls like you so much.”

The compliment is making her hot. Sooyoung just wishes there was this one girl that liked her in that way. “Um…shut up?” 

Jinsoul opens her eyes and squeals at Sooyoung in the dress. The blonde hops up and turns them towards the mirror. “See look how hot you are!” Jinsoul is hugging her from behind with a smile on her face. Sooyoung did look good in the dress but she knew she was starting to lose her grip by the way her heart was beating from Jinsoul’s touch.

“Jinsoul will you please stop?” Sooyoung pushes the girl off of her and turns to face her.

The blonde doesn’t get it. Sooyoung couldn’t stand it. How such a simple compliment was making her feel this way? She was supposed to be mad at Jinsoul. “Why? This is what friends do we hype each other up.” 

Sooyoung tilts her head, “friends?” Jinsoul’s bright smile that was making her eyes crinkle up quickly falls into the saddest frown Sooyoung has ever seen.

Jinsoul throws her head back, “seriously Sooyoung we’re still doing this?” 

“Yes, Jinsoul you hurt me.”

The blonde shakes her head and Sooyoung can see the tears forming. Jinsoul was so quick to cry. “I know I did and I’m trying to make up for it. I want to show you that I’m not that girl.” Sooyoung believes her but she won’t tell Jinsoul that. 

“I’m not that girl who hurt you. Please just let me show you that okay?” Sooyoung watches as her hand is taking hostage of and brought up to Jinsoul’s lips. Her heart races at the site. Jinsoul was trying really hard. It was amazing really how charming the girl was. Way more charming then Sooyoung was. Jinsoul had a way with words. Sooyoung was just thoughtful and listened closely. Jinsoul could easily persuade anyone. 

Sooyoung sighs out at the puppy dog eyes, “then who are you?” 

“The girl that loves you of course.” It’s such a cheesy line but it makes her heart skip nonetheless. 

It makes her break, but only a little bit. “I love you so much Sooyoung.” Shaking her head she retrieves her hand back. Jinsoul knows she still hasn’t won the girl over with the look she receives through the mirror when Sooyoung turns around. Jinsoul sighs as Sooyoung gestures for her to close her eyes. Sooyoung slowly slips the dress back off to put her other one back on. 

Slowly backing up she leans back onto Jinsoul and breathes out. The girl is still turned around but Sooyoung watches her head lift up in the mirror. Smiling she grabs the blonde’s hand in her own.

“I love you too asshole.”

…

Jinsoul had bought her the dress, well the whole outfit really. And a pink cowboy hat to go with it but Jinsoul told her she didn’t have to wear it. Sooyoung wasn’t going to but that didn’t mean Jinsoul wasn’t going to _not_ wear it. So here they were all huddling into a booth at a bbq place. Jinsoul with the pink cowboy hat on sitting next to Chaewon while YooA was sitting next to Sooyoung.

Sooyoung had continued to flirt with the girl and every time she did she didn’t notice the glare she would receive from Jinsoul. At one point when YooA was rubbing on her thigh and whispering in her ear, Jinsoul had squeezed her Styrofoam cup so much it busted. The three of them looked at the seething blonde with worried expressions. They don’t know what had made her so angry. 

If looks could kill YooA would be dead right now. Sooyoung was paying attention to Jinsoul and so was YooA. Chaewon was looking between all three of them while she crunched on a dill pickle. The younger blonde is confused by her sister’s action. After the waiter cleans up Jinsoul’s mess they all stand up to leave. Jinsoul briskly walks ahead as the other three stays behind, YooA and Sooyoung clinging onto each other. 

Sooyoung smirks when she leans in to whisper into the girl’s ear, “I’m not wearing any underwear.” YooA blushes and Sooyoung is met with dark eyes. They’re not as dark as Jinsoul’s though and Sooyoung can’t seem to find herself getting lost in them.

Jinsoul is standing on the outside of the vehicle when they make it. YooA shyly looks up at Sooyoung before asking, “Can I sit in the back with you?” Sooyoung smiles ready to open the door for the girl. Jinsoul is shaking in front of them though fist clenched in anger. Sooyoung thinks the blonde is about to do something to YooA. Before she pulls YooA away there’s a loud scream in the distance. Someone screaming her name. 

Turning around she feels her soul leave her body. It’s Sori and her coke slinging boyfriend. He’s got a gun. A big one…“Get the fuck down!” Sooyoung manages to yell and everyone hits the ground. Bullets fly all over the place. Mostly the car until Miguel runs out of his clip. Crawling to safety she makes sure everyone is behind the car. Jinsoul is on her right and YooA is on her left. 

Bullets start impaling Kirby again and Sooyoung goes to cover Jinsoul’s ears. Completely forgetting about the girl beside her. Sooyoung waits for the shooting to stop again before bringing her hands off Jinsoul’s head. “SOOYOUNG COME OUT YOU LITTLE PARASITE!” She has never been so scared in her life. Was she actually going to die before she got to tell Jinsoul how she truly feels? 

“Jinsoul I want you to know that-.” The bullets start going again and the sharp twangs make her squeal out. 

YooA is having a full blown panic attack and there’s a bunch of honking around. Jinsoul clings onto for life, “Sooyoung I’m so sorry the reason I said those things was because-.” Jinsoul was about to tell Sooyoung the truth but Miguel starts screaming again. 

“YOU THINK YOU CAN TRY AND SEDUCE MY GIRL AND STEAL MY WEED FUCK NO PENDEJO MI NOVIA ES LEAL!” Sooyoung would piss her pants right now in laughter if she wasn’t already pissing them because she was literally about to die. Sooyoung figures she should sacrifice her life to save Jinsoul’s and the hotties life. Oh and Chaewon’s…Sooyoung freezes. Where was Chaewon? 

Sooyoung then notices the trunk was open. “YOU STUPID BITCH SOOYOUNG’S BEEN FUCKING YOUR GIRL AND SHE’S BEEN GIVING HER FREE WEED THIS WHOLE TIME!” Chaewon screams out. Jumping up Sooyoung peaks over Kirby and gasps when the tiny girl is holding an oversized hello kitty machine gun. Was that even legal? Miguel panics and pushes Sori to the ground as Chaewon starts to spray bullets. 

It hits the pavement and stops as the two idiots run away. Chaewon starts to shoot Miguel’s custom El Camino, particularly at the gas tank. Sooyoung jumps in the air when the car explodes making the whole area fifteen times hotter. Sooyoung watches the flames fly up and the pretty glow light up the whole area, “Oh shit…” She smiles and goes to push Chaewon around for saving her ass. “Chaehuahua where the fuck did you get that?” The blonde gives her a serious look before putting it back in the trunk. 

Sooyoung lets her mouth drop at the artillery in the back of Chaewon’s car. Hello kitty, animal crossing and Kirby customized guns. “Why do you think I’m at the pawn shop all the time?” Sooyoung shakes her head and jumps when there’s another explosion behind her. When the sirens start wailing in the distance she quickly hops in the back and so does Jinsoul. 

YooA is standing there shaking, “you bitches are fucking insane…no way I’m getting in that death trap.” 

Chaewon shrugs, “fine, be a loser.” YooA is not giving a second before Chaewon burns rubber, well what’s left of it. They were going to have to get rid of Kirby but it wasn’t like Chaewon could get a new one. Sooyoung lifts hands in the air and screams. That was probably the best fun she’s ever had in her life. Her fun is ruined though when Jinsoul jabs her in the stomach.

Rubbing at the injury she gives the girl who’s holding onto the cowboy hat a questionable look, “what was that for?”

“For not keeping it your pants, Seriously Sooyoung? We were just in a shootout because you like to play!” Shrugging she ignores the blonde. Who was she to care about Sooyoung’s sex life? 

The blonde groans, “you can’t be giving it to people like that your body is a temple. Don’t let some weed groupie ruin it.”

Jinsoul was a bit too worried about Sori and not the fact they were just shot up, “and YooA you don’t even know her and you were all hugged up to her like that!” Yeah, Jinsoul was more worried about Sooyoung’s bitches she sounded-

“You sound so jealous right now!” Sooyoung yells out, the wind is blowing through her hair as she smiles at Jinsoul. She’s said those words to the girl before. She remembers how satisfying the reaction was last time.

_“Seriously Sooyoung?” Jinsoul loved to say that nowadays. It was her favorite thing to say besides please leave me alone. But right now Jinsoul had dragged her into an empty classroom after volleyball practice. Rumor had gotten out. Sooyoung had slept with Kim Doyeon and Im Jin-ah in a span of a week. At first, the rumors were that Sooyoung begged for Doyeon to take her virginity. Now it was that Nana was better in bed._

_Jinsoul is pacing back and forth in the classroom. “Your first time is supposed to be with someone special. It’s supposed to be kept a secret between you and the one you love. You’re just letting these two girl’s get to you.” Sooyoung has been too preoccupied with learning the wonders of sex to realize that Jinsoul has a new lip gloss. Sooyoung recalls this is the first time she’s talked to Jinsoul in three weeks. A new record._

_Sooyoung could care less though. It was just sex and Jinsoul was acting like one of those weirdos that thought your first time was a critical moment in life. Sooyoung expected her to be the last person to care about these things. “I can’t believe you chose her to be your first. Really Kim Doyeon? She’s just some rich snob who doesn’t care about people.” Jinsoul mutters out._

_Sooyoung sighs, “like you?”_

_Jinsoul gives her a look, “you’re rich, definitely a snob and you have not gave a shit about nobody but yourself for the past five years.” She couldn’t believe Jinsoul was coming for her like this. Jinsoul never talked to her anymore. This was the first time Jinsoul’s initiated a conversation in years. But suddenly when Sooyoung starts sleeping with hot girls Jinsoul’s dying to speak with her._

_In a way, Sooyoung was loving it. She loved this attention Jinsoul was giving her. Maybe she would keep fucking girls just so that the blonde would come and tell her it’s wrong. Jinsoul was talking to her then at least. “Are you jealous or something?” It’s a joke because Sooyoung knows in a million years Jinsoul wouldn’t be jealous of someone being with her. “Why do you care Jinsoul?” Why did she care now? Out of all the times Sooyoung’s begged for her attention the one time she doesn’t try Jinsoul is zoned in on her. Sooyoung hasn’t seen Jinsoul this angry since the time after she stitched her up on her fancy sink counter._

_“You sound so jealous right now.” Sooyoung stands up from where she was leaning on a desk but Jinsoul pushes her back down. She looks at the seventeen-year-old with confusion._

_Jinsoul steps closer to her and grabs her by the collar of the shirt. They wore school uniforms then. Jinsoul’s was always messy. The tie would be loosely made and her shirt would be untucked from her skirt. Sooyoung, however, had no wrinkles in her skirt and her shirt was buttoned all the way up. “What if I was?”_

_Sooyoung has never felt something like this before. “What if I was jealous Sooyoung?” The girl shudders at the dark tone. The words were rasped out. Jinsoul was still sweaty from practice. Her black hair up in a high ponytail. Sooyoung stands up again and faces Jinsoul. The girl was almost the same height as her now. Sooyoung only had an inch on her._

_She’s too busy staring at Jinsoul’s lips to notice how dark the girl’s eyes are. Her pupils are blown since she’s doing to the same thing, staring at Sooyoung’s lips. Their breath is mixed. Even when Sooyoung came just a few nights ago under Nana’s touch she’s never felt this on fire just from being this close to Jinsoul. Her tummy was twisting in knots and she had this deep pressure inside._

_Sooyoung knew she was in love with Jinsoul. But this was the first time she’s ever felt…was it desire? She wasn’t for sure what it was. But she was eager to find out. “Then do something about it.” It doesn’t take Jinsoul but five seconds to slam her lips onto her and instantly Jinsoul clings onto her. It’s a kiss full of anger and frustration. Neither allowing the other to take control._

_She slides her lips against Jinsoul’s fluidly and the girl moans against her mouth. Reaching down she sneaks her hand underneath Jinsoul’s skirt and grabs the bare flesh there. Jinsoul breaks the kiss to whine directly onto her lips but Sooyoung pulls her back in by her neck. Jinsoul starts to push her back with her hair tangled through her hair and ends up banging Sooyoung against the glass cabinet._

_The room is silent besides the heavy breathing and clanging of glass behind Sooyoung. Their lips are smacking together and Sooyoung can already feel hers swelling up from the rough treatment. She groans when Jinsoul bites down on her bottom lip and deepens the kiss making it slower than the previous quick and rough ones._

_Now it was almost sensual with the way Jinsoul was licking on her lips asking permission. When their tongues meet they both moan out. Sooyoung can’t help but pull Jinsoul closer by the ass. The girl’s nails were scratching at her scalp. Since they’re inexperienced the kiss is sloppy but neither of them mind. It’s all Sooyoung has ever wanted. Jinsoul’s tongue was so hot in her mouth. The girl was so curious with the way she was exploring it._

_The kiss starts to slow down again and becomes softer. All the anger and frustration is gone. No tongue no sensual lip locking just tiny pecks against her lips. They were sore with how rough Jinsoul was with her. The girl had bit and sucked on them for a while. They must have been kissing for at least fifteen minutes. When Sooyoung opens her eyes and looks at the clock she discovers it’s been seventeen._

_Jinsoul is still kissing her. Her hands were now cupping her face and a thumb was rubbing across her cheek back and forth. Sooyoung whimpers when Jinsoul nibbles on her bottom lip and finally pulls away. They’ve kissed before but not like this. Back then it was for fun, just some child’s game. But this was so real and raw._

_The girl’s pupils are so blown and her lip gloss is smudged. Sooyoung bites her cheek at the blush on Jinsoul’s face. She closes her eyes again when Jinsoul leans in but soft lips don’t meet h_ ers again. _Instead, she deeply moans when Jinsoul starts_ _to suck on her neck. The girl bites down hard to pull another raspy moan from her and pretty hands lift her shirt to scratch at the skin there. Sooyoung is squirming at her touch and all the sudden it stops. Jinsoul pulls away finally realizing what they’re doing. The girl shakes her head and backs away more when Sooyoung tries to reach out to her._

_“That…didn't happen,” Jinsoul tells her. Sooyoung watches the girl run off._

_She has no idea what just happened, but it was the best thing ever. Sooyoung smiles thinking that things might turn around at that. But she was wrong again about Jinsoul._

_She was always wrong when it came to Jinsoul._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Hmm things are unfolding now don’t you think? Yves acted the way she did last chapter because she felt a little stupid for forgiving Jinsoul so easily when she didn’t even get an explanation. She also doesn’t know if Jinsoul is telling the truth or not! But really Jinsoul just be hiding stuff.


	7. Hesitant

Sooyoung was in the back seat while two very loud blonde’s scream out the lyrics to some rap songs. Sooyoung didn’t really listen to stuff like this, she was more of an RnB girl but she couldn’t lie. She felt a little bad riding with the girls. Jinsoul and Chaewon were going in on whatever song it was, someone by the name of Megan thee Italian? Sooyoung didn’t know Italians sounded like that. This girl sounded a bit southern. But she was bumping along with the girls in the front.

Kirby was fixed up pretty quickly and Sooyoung was just riding with them. It was either Jinsoul or Chaewon dragging her out of the house because it was her birthday week. Sooyoung slowly warmed back up to the older blonde but she was still skeptical. Jinsoul was trying hard, really hard. Sooyoung ate well every night this week and she got a personal massage after every practice. Sooyoung closes her eyes and leans back in the seat smiling at the memory.

Jinsoul’s hand were like magic and she had to bite her tongue a number of times to keep herself from making a noise. Sooyoung was going to keep pretending she was mad because she was being treated like a princess. Jinsoul had practically become her servant. Sooyoung didn’t ride the bus, she rode in Jinsoul’s car and got whatever she wanted to eat. Then back at her house, Jinsoul would feed her while she watched T.V. Jinsoul said she would even scrub her back in the shower but Sooyoung thought that was a little too much.

Then when she was finally tired Jinsoul would crawl on top of her and rub her down until she was either snoring or a bit turned on. This has been the past five nights. Jinsoul did it all with no complaint and with a smile on her face even though Sooyoung was still being bitchy to her. She starts to believe Jinsoul because who would do that if they didn’t care about the person? Jinsoul must have really loved her.

One night the girl even cut her toenails…which were gross. Sooyoung was slowly giving in. All those things Jinsoul said were starting to become true. Sooyoung couldn’t have been happier. But she wasn’t going to let anyone know that. Chaewon is muttering something over the radio and pulls into an empty parking lot. Sooyoung narrows her eyes at the familiar truck in the middle.

Chaewon pulls up to the truck and Sooyoung instantly jumps out. “Key!” It’s an old friend of hers and she greats him with a handshake and a fist bump to the back. The blonde’s get out of the car as well and Sooyoung finally realizes that something’s up. There’s a girl that gets out the truck and walks up to them. She’s a bit taller and stacked. 

“Hey, Joy.” Chaewon greets her and the girl just waves lazily. She’s chewing on some bubble gum without a care in the world. Sooyoung watches as the blonde girl goes to her trunk and gets out an array of items. Her gun, a couple of stacks of money and a tripod with a camera and just a normal video recorder. That’s when Sooyoung notices there are two more people get out of the truck. How many could fit in there?

Chaewon hands them the cameras. “Jinsoul, the outfit?” The older blonde gives her a look before stripping from her oversized t-shirt and sweatpants off. Sooyoung lets her jaw drop at the blonde now in a tight tank top and booty shorts. Turning around Joy was also in the same outfit. Key comes up to her where she’s leaning on Kirby. They both watch the group set up. Sooyoung can’t believe Chaewon dragged her out to a music video set.

“Wait Sooyoung can you grab the fan it’s in the passenger seat!” Sooyoung doesn’t move too shocked from what she’s experiencing. Chaewon was different but this was…Jinsoul is the one to receive the fan and both Sooyoung and Key check the girl’s ass out as she’s grabbing it out of the car. Jinsoul runs back up to her sister and sets up the fan in front of them.

Everyone gets ready and suddenly the area is booming with sound and money is flying everywhere. The truck that was customized like a nine billiard ball is shaking while Chaewon raps the lyrics out into the camera. Sooyoung turns to her friend and yells over the sound, “nice subwoofers!” 

“Thanks, they’re Memphis!” Sooyoung shakes her head and goes back to watching the girls. Chaewon is holding up her gun and throwing up bills so they shower in the air. Joy and Jinsoul are dancing beside the girl in a provocative way. Jinsoul seems to be struggling a little and looks uncomfortable. Chaewon stops rapping and tells them to cut off the music.

Turning to her sister she yells, “Jinsoul you’re fucking it up!” The blonde drops her head.

“I’m sorry Chaewon.”

The smaller blonde stomps on the ground. “I told you it was de one and only!” Sooyoung snorts at the rapper name. Feeling sorry for Jinsoul she calls her over.

The blonde slowly walks toward her. “Imma go make sure they don’t fuck my truck up.” Sooyoung nods at her friend and waits for Jinsoul to reach her. Grabbing the girl by the belt loops she drags her to the other side of Kirby so the others couldn’t really see what they were doing.

Sooyoung leans back onto the car, “what’s wrong?” 

Jinsoul shuffles her feet on the pavement, “I’m just a bit weirded out by the guys.” Sooyoung turns and looks at the group. Chaewon was talking to the boys while Joy was holding some white dog beside a car that wasn’t here before. Turning back to Jinsoul she places her hand on the girl’s hip.

“Just pay attention to me I don’t make you uncomfortable do I?” Jinsoul shakes her head no and considers the idea. Sooyoung doesn’t know why Chaewon is even doing all this shit. None of these people clearly didn’t want to be here. They get set back up and this time Jinsoul is staring at her. Sooyoung is now sitting on the hood of Chaewon’s car. Key didn’t come back over, he was too busy talking to Joy’s dog over to the side. 

Sooyoung enjoys the music video a little more this time because she can’t keep her eyes off Jinsoul. The girl was still stiff with her dancing but seemed a lot looser in terms of attitude. “Damn Jinsoul…” Sooyoung blinks as Jinsoul drops it low and picks it back up. She really did look good in those shorts. To distract the thoughts of not so appropriate things she looks at Chaewon and cracks up at the blonde hopping up and down. 

About thirty minutes later Chaewon is satisfied with the results. She thanks the team and they split up. Key gets in his car and drives off with the crew members while Joy hops in the car with the lady with her dog in hand. It even had a little scarf on. Chaewon is putting up the shit in the back of Kirby’s trunk when Jinsoul walks up to her a bit out of breath, “was I good Sooyoung?”

The statement is innocent but the tone isn’t. Sooyoung knows it just because the girl is out of breath. Jinsoul bouncing around was certainly good, a little too good. Sooyoung really just wanted to say fuck it and pay Jinsoul back for all this special treatment and bring her back home. But Sooyoung keeps her thoughts to herself and thinks of a good little tune.

“I like it the way you rock yo hips,” Jinsoul is confused at first as Sooyoung sings out. “Then wave and sip,” Sooyoung repeats the words and grabs onto the girl’s waist and shuffles them side to side. Jinsoul starts to giggle as she continues to dance in front of the girl. “She bend that thing over and pop it hard as she can!” Jinsoul pushes her and Sooyoung finally stops. Sooyoung carefully watches the girl as she blushes and wipes the tear from her eye. She was giggling so much. “Seriously, you was good…so good.” 

Ending the compliment by biting her lip she watches as Jinsoul waves her off. Sooyoung thinks it’s time to go until Jinsoul starts rapping diamond’s verse. The clean version of course because Jinsoul didn’t like to curse. Sooyoung and Chaewon are shocked how good Jinsoul’s flow is as she points at Sooyoung’s face getting way too into it. Sooyoung snorts when the girl pushes at her shoulders with angry eyes. After Jinsoul’s finished she freezes. Like she just tapped into some alter ego.

Embarrassed Jinsoul crawls into the front seat. Sooyoung knots her brows and pretends it didn’t happen even though it’s probably the greatest thing she’s seen in a while. Getting in the back seat she calls out to Chaewon, “Hey Chae don’t you think it’s a bit weird to be acting like this you know...?” 

“No.”

Sooyoung nods, “right.” Maybe she should just keep her mouth shut. Chaewon pretty much was done with them for the day and drives back out to the countryside where Sooyoung lives to drop her off. When Sooyoung’s stepping out, Jinsoul asks her for permission. “Can I stay over?”

Thinking for a moment she answers, “Absolutely…not.” Jinsoul pouts and before she can say anything Chaewon drives off. Sighing she starts to walk inside and takes her cap off. Sooyoung hears the kitchen sink running so she strides through the living room and smiles at the woman washing dishes. “Hey, Mom.” The woman jumps a bit. Turning around Sooyoung’s heart lightens at the smile she receives. 

Her mom gestures for her to sit down and so Sooyoung does and waits for the woman to get done. Her mother comes to sit next to her and pats on her shoulder, “how were the Jung girls?” Sooyoung tells her mother they were fine. Her mom loved Jinsoul and Chaewon, especially Jinsoul.

“Can I ask you for advice?” She asks quietly and her mom nods. “Um, what would you do if a good friend of yours suddenly cut you off with no explanation but then wants to be in your life again?” Her mom reaches out to grab her hand. Sooyoung wonders what her mother will tell her. The woman thinks for a while before answering.

“I would let them back in of course.” Sooyoung frowns.

Looking down she mutters out, “even if they’ve hurt you?”

Her mom jerks on her hand a bit and makes her look back up. “Is this about Jinsoul, Sooyoung?” She lets her eyes widen at the question. She’s never told her mom anything about them but she guesses she’s figured out on her own. “Yerim told me everything.” Or maybe not. The woman clears her throat and rubs her thumb along the back of Sooyoung’s hands. “Listen Sooyoung the people you love the most are going to hurt you. It’s just human nature. But sometimes it’s a mistake.”

“You aunt has hurt me and your father too. But they were mistakes and mistakes can be forgiven.” Sooyoung nods as her mother softly speaks out. “That girl loves you Sooyoung and you know it.” She almost wants to cry because she knows if anyone is telling her the truth then it would be her mom. 

Sooyoung grips the hand holding hers tighter, “whatever reason why she did that to you. I’m sure that she regrets it every day. It was her mistake Sooyoung and she’s trying to fix it.”

She doesn’t mean to start crying but her mother just got to her like this. “She was there for you when your father died remember? She never left your side. She and Chaewon were here for you and your sisters day and night.” Sooyoung ducks her head at the memory. Jinsoul had never let her go then. She can remember the empty feeling inside but Jinsoul had held her so tight it kept her grounded. 

“And if I can recall…” The woman suddenly stands up and goes to one of the drawers and pulls out a stack of postcards. It’s a big stack of them and Sooyoung hadn’t forgotten about them. Only a month ago she got one. Her mom sits them down on the table. “I never knew what these meant but I believe it was a way of Jinsoul saying I love you.” 

Sooyoung always loved receiving the funky cards. They would be from places around the world or just some cartoon show Jinsoul liked to watch. They never said anything. They were just to Sooyoung and had Jinsoul’s pretty signature at the bottom. Jinsoul would always stamp a letter down at the bottom as well. Sooyoung could never figure it but she was sure it was a puzzle. Suddenly she gets an idea. What if this was how Jinsoul told her the truth.

Thanking her mom she grabs the cards and goes running upstairs. The older woman still at the table thinks her job is done and goes back to doing the dishes. Sooyoung remembers her Jinsoul. Someone wouldn’t do the things the girl did for Sooyoung unless they loved them. Jinsoul was always there for her even when she seemed like she wasn’t. Sooyoung remembers getting one of these on her special days or when Sooyoung was having a particularly bad day.

Jinsoul always had her eye on her like some guardian angel. Spreading out the cards her sister mumbles out verbal confusion. Hyunjin was awoken from a cat nap at Sooyoung’s discovery and tries to ask her what she’s doing. Sooyoung it explains it to her that she’s been thinking too negatively the whole time. Hyunjin just says _I told you so_ and rolls back over.

Actions spoke louder than words and although Jinsoul would always spit hate towards her the girl was still cleaning up her wounds when she got in a fight.

Whenever Sooyoung made a bad test score a school tutor would come up to her and tell her Jinsoul had sent them.

Whenever she was hungry and didn’t have anything for lunch Sooyoung would magically have money in her account and when Sooyoung would question it the lunch lady would lazily point towards Jinsoul’s lunch table. The girl would be sitting there quietly reading some comic book or manga, every now and then looking up and laughing loudly. 

Sooyoung would get yelled at by the lunch lady to move along and she would go to her usually empty table. Sometimes Chaewon was there and other times she wasn’t. Sooyoung would spend her lonelier lunches staring at Jinsoul and Sooyoung loved the days they locked eyes. Jinsoul wouldn’t give her the satisfaction though and would quickly look away. 

Looking at the cards they’re too many of them. A genius could only solve this and Sooyoung only knew one and it was her puzzle. Throwing herself back to lay on the floor she smiles. She should have paid attention to Jinsoul’s actions, not words. Jinsoul was still there for her. It may have been small things but Jinsoul had still managed to make herself a part of her teenage years.

Shuffling up all the cards she snorts when she sees a birthday one. Jinsoul always skipped out on them but would send Chaewon with some gift. Jinsoul always got her off the wall things. Something simple from the dollar store. 

Putting them up she reaches for her phone in her shorts pocket and quickly dials the number. It doesn’t take but a second for Jinsoul to pick up. “Hello Sooyoung is something wrong?” This is the first time Sooyoung has talked to her on the phone in forever.

She changes her mind…maybe she wanted that personal message tonight. “Actually I’m kinda hungry and tired…I think I need you to come over.” 

Sooyoung covers her mouth when she hears a gasp on the other line and she hears Jinsoul stomping around. “I’ll be there in a minute.” Sooyoung hangs up quickly and stares at the phone. She can’t believe she just did that. Given in to Jinsoul so easily.

“Do I have to leave? I’m comfortable.” Sooyoung stops in the middle of cleaning the cards up. She wasn’t for sure if she was going to ask Jinsoul if they meant anything. Hyunjin continues, “you were making the face you make when you’re about to go get laid.”

Sooyoung shakes her head, “that was Jinsoul.”

Her sister raises up on her bed. “Okay and?”

She sits the cards down and walks over to her bed before sitting down, “I’m not fucking Jinsoul? Like ever that’s weird.” It’s not necessarily a lie but it’s not the truth. Hyunjin stares at her for a moment before getting up and leaving. 

Did she say something wrong? 

Whatever it was she didn’t think too hard on it because she needed to get comfortable before Jinsoul got here. 

She was excited for her personal massage…

… 

It was 12 am, May 24th and Sooyoung was just waiting for something to happen. Hyunjin wished her a happy birthday three minutes ago and went back to talking to Heejin on the phone. It was way too quiet. Sooyoung waits fifteen more minutes and nothing happens. Disappointed she huffs and gets back underneath the blankets. When the door cracks open she jumps up quickly and whines when it’s only Haneul. 

“Come here boy, you didn’t forget did you.” The fat dog slowly walks over and flops down in front of her. Sooyoung rubs on its belly. Suddenly the door is slammed open and Yerim falls face first and Sooyoung’s birthday cake gets smashed to the floor. Hyejoo is standing behind her and so is Chaewon looking down at the floor at the girl now laying defeated on the floor. 

Jinsoul comes running in with an array of balloons and slips on the cake and also comes hurling forward. Sooyoung watches in horror as Jinsoul’s face smacks into Hyunjin’s dresser and one of the balloons pop. Jinsoul starts crying and Chaewon goes to take care of her while Sooyoung tries to pick up her sister whose crying. Haneul is eating the cake off the floor so Hyejoo screams and picks him up.

The cake has spread so Hyejoo slips and the dog goes flying as she falls back and lands on Sooyoung trying to pick up Yerim. Sooyoung groans as a heavy body lands on top of her and Yerim is screaming at all the weight on top of her. Jungeun who was hopping up the stairs is ready to scold Jinsoul for leaving her behind. Jiwoo was peeing in the downstairs bathroom.

But once she makes it to the room and sees the disaster and a fat dog eating the cake she just got for Sooyoung, she wishes she waited on her girlfriend. Jinsoul is the first to stand up and her head is busted open and Jungeun widens her eyes at the site. Jiwoo starts to run up the stairs as happily as she could a scream once she sees Jinsoul’s face…the girl wakes up the entire house including Sooyoung’s Granma.

An hour later, or really an ass whooping later… because the girl’s Granma all beat their ass except Yerim’s because she was the good one, they’re all sitting on the floor eating a new cake courtesy to Miss Ha. After the woman woke up she gave Sooyoung a happy birthday hug and quickly fixed a cake for them. It didn’t have any icing but it was still delicious. Heejin had come over too and given Sooyoung some aged wine. 

Sooyoung didn’t like to drink but she thought it was a nice gesture. Jungeun’s gift was the cake. Chaewon got her some new sneakers and Jiwoo had gotten her a…cup. Sooyoung thanks everyone and her sisters. They hadn’t gotten her anything. Hyejoo took it so far to say that her presence was Sooyoung’s gift. Now the girl’s had the wine bottle opened passing it around. 

Jungeun and Sooyoung were the only ones that didn’t drink. Sooyoung was starting to laugh at how drunk the twins were getting. Hyejoo had a squeaky laugh and Yerim was talking gibberish, “lichrally so drunk rite noew lads.” Hyejoo slaps the minute and half older girl and Yerim pretends to get mad, “stop et you twat!” Sooyoung figures it’s time to take the bottle away when the baby starts cursing. 

Chaewon takes it instead and starts chugging. Hyunjin and Heejin were already asleep and Jiwoo was trying to make a move on Jungeun. Yerim then stands up quickly and almost falls, “I jus had a realizashun babes.” They all listen to the younger girl and she points at Jiwoo. “If yor drunk luv then hoew ar you gun get her home?” Jiwoo blinks for a moment and stares a Jungeun’s injured leg. Sooyoung had no idea why Yerim was talking like people from the British Isles. “Yov got a bum leg luv you can’t whip a wagon like dat noew cun you?”

“Jinsoul can drive us home.” Sooyoung turns to the sleeping girl and frowns at the band-aid on her forehead. She really didn’t want to disturb her.

Standing up she takes responsibility, “I’ll drive everyone home.” Chaewon informs Sooyoung that she’s staying so really it’s just her taking the love-birds home. Sooyoung helps Jungeun down the stairs since Jiwoo is too drunk and picks Chaewon’s car since it was easier to drive. Sooyoung puts the top on it and gets the crippled in the back along with her girlfriend. 

Sooyoung starts to drive once the girls get comfortable and eavesdrop on their conversation. It’s cute for the most part. Jiwoo is telling Jungeun about the dinosaur stickers she bought today. Jungeun cutely makes noises to show her girlfriend that she’s listening. Sooyoung kinda wanted something like that. She hates how her mind goes to Jinsoul first thing. Sooyoung doesn’t even know what the girl got her for her birthday.

Sooyoung blushes when the pair’s conversation gets a bit frisky in the back. “Let’s ask for a threesome.” 

Jungeun is quick to decline it, “no oh my god that’s embarrassing.” Jiwoo whines and they don’t realize how loud they’re being. 

“It’s her birthday though. I’m getting tired of topping so much we can just let her do all the work.” Jungeun yells and Sooyoung can hear a slapping noise behind her. The couple argues for a few minutes and Sooyoung tries to keep in her laugh. 

It goes quietly all the sudden and Sooyoung pretends she’s not listening, “you know how I feel about the one thing Jiwoo.” 

“What? I’m sure she’ll think it’s hot.” Sooyoung panics, were they actually going to ask her? She knew they had been going strong for about a year now and she guess that’s the time to start experiment with things but shouldn’t they try anal or something first. Sooyoung doesn’t want to know whatever the _one thing_ is and turns the radio on. It’s three am so it’s so obscene talk show with the host whispering in the mic.

It’s an awkward ride then and Sooyoung drives a bit faster to get them home. She sighs out in relief when they get out without asking her for anything. She was surprised when they both give her a longing look. Laying her head on the steering wheel when they shut the door she mumbles to herself that she’ll forget the whole ride happened.

Checking her phone she flips through the texts. There were random numbers telling her happy birthday and what not. She notices Sori had texted her a picture. She didn’t even want to see what it was and then finds Haseul’s very basic text. 

[Jo booty]: Happy Birthday Sooyoung miss you. 

Dialing the number she waits for the answer. It was a little after three now but Sooyoung has called her later than this. After a few rings, the girl answers and Sooyoung makes her voice a few octaves lower. “Hey baby.”

Haseul doesn’t say anything at first but Sooyoung starts to say hello annoyingly until the girl answers, “WHAT? Jesus…”

“It’s my birthday aren’t you going to give me my present?” Sooyoung whines out. She hasn’t had any since the Sori disaster and that was weeks ago and that wasn’t even close to being good. Sooyoung was going to go crazy if she didn’t cum soon. Haseul asks her what she wants in a bored tone and Sooyoung smiles when she answers, “pussy.”

The call goes silent and Sooyoung looks at her phone and the girl had hung up on her. Maybe she should just go home. But there was a blonde in her bed and right now she didn’t want to weird her out with wandering hands. Jinsoul was innocent for the most part. Sooyoung was sure the blonde still had a brain of a five-year-old. Sooyoung knew if she fell asleep she’d probably accidentally grope Jinsoul and that was the last thing she wanted to do. 

Haseul throws the phone down and turns to the redhead. Doyeon has been fucking her all night and was laughing now. She can’t believe she put Sooyoung on speaker for her. Doyeon doesn’t know she texted Sooyoung first and in fact, she really did miss Sooyoung. A lot but Sooyoung was celebrating her birthday with all her friends.

The short-haired girl felt the jealousy in her veins when she saw a particular picture and Jinsoul was sleeping soundly in Sooyoung’s bed. Haseul has been in that bed before, she should be in that bed right now but Sooyoung didn’t see her as anything more than a hookup. Doyeon was her rebound though and the girl was actually a bit better at fucking than Sooyoung but no one could eat pussy like the shorter girl. 

Haseul was feeling a bit jaded. Doyeon had taken care of her all night but Haseul was wanting to kick her out so she can invite Sooyoung over. Haseul watches the red-headed girl make fun of Sooyoung by repeating the phone call conversation in a dumb voice. Doyeon was really sexy but she was annoying. Why were all the girls she messed with sexy and annoying?

Doyeon turns to her side and stares at Haseul, “you should invite her over.” Haseul blinks at the girl. “And totally get some blackmail material.” 

“B-black mail?”

Doyeon nods and reaches around to grab at her ass and Haseul pushes her away. “Yeah like film her or something.” 

Haseul is so confused. Why was Doyeon so worried about Sooyoung? “Why? Are you like into her or something?”

“Hell no.”

“Then why do you want me to film her?” Doyeon just raises up and Haseul watches the toned body crawl over top of hers. The redhead flips out of bed not so gracefully and starts to drag her clothes on.

Doyeon is in the middle of putting her boots on when she groans at the girl, “just do it or I’ll tell your boyfriend about us.” Haseul gasps and raises up pulling the sheet. Not Shownu…she couldn’t let her boyfriend know she was fucking girls behind his back. She loved him she really did but he was away all the time for his bodybuilding events with his friend Wonho. 

She and Sooyoung had been a thing for months now. Doyeon has been fucking her for a few weeks now. “Fine, I’ll do it whatever,” Haseul tells her. “Please don’t tell Shownu about any of this.” Doyeon smiles and stands up to put her shirt on. Haseul’s mouth waters at the girl’s abs and hips. She kinda hated Doyeon for being so hot and a little evil.

The redhead waves goodbye with a cute smile and leaves. Haseul quickly pulls her phone back out and texts Sooyoung. She hopes the girl hasn’t changed her mind. 

[Haseul]: Hey baby sorry Shownu called, you can come over if you want ;) 

[Dominos]: on my way.

Sooyoung was driving back home when she got the text and quickly turned the car around. She bout just beat off in Chaewon’s car but she knew that would be weird. She hasn’t had a release in forever. Not even doing it by herself. 

Haseul’s place isn’t far and Sooyoung makes it there under ten minutes since she was in the city. Locking the car she buzzes the call button, “Haseul it’s me.” The door clicks open and Sooyoung lets herself in and runs up the stairs to Haseul’s apartment. She knocks quickly and the door opens and Sooyoung’s pulled in. 

Sooyoung squeaks at the lips crashing at her own and pushes the girl off as soon possible, “ah Haseul what did I say about kissing?” It was Sooyoung’s only rule. Not kissing on the lips and no feelings. Haseul had broken both rules plenty of times. 

“Sorry I was just excited to see you.” Sooyoung smiles and pulls the smaller girl into her embrace. She really liked Haseul but not in that way. She was probably the nicest fling she’s ever had. Sooyoung just holds her for a moment. She felt bad for the bathroom at the tournament but she was just pissed that day. She’d make it up to Haseul now.

Haseul is enjoying the hug too much when Sooyoung pulls back. The taller girl smiles and Haseul instantly melts. When Doyeon came in it was straight to rough kissing and clothes ripping. Sooyoung was just asking about her day while holding her face. Both of them had a cocky player attitude on the outside. Everyone wanted to get with them. But behind closed doors they were different.

Sooyoung had this cool charm to her. It was dangerous, Sooyoung made it seem like it was real with the way she was so sweet and caring. Doyeon, however, was fiery and fun. Haseul couldn’t deny that she liked the rough treatment Doyeon has put her through the last few weeks, unlike Sooyoung who was only aggressive when she was pissed about something. Haseul didn’t want to admit that sometimes she would do things just to rile the girl up. 

But all in all, Haseul has missed this so much. Sooyoung reminded her of Shownu. They both had this soft side to them, she really wasn’t surprised when she caught feelings for the girl. Sooyoung starts to push her towards the bed and when she spots Doyeon’s forgotten pair of underwear she remembers her mission. Falling on the bed she watches with fear as Sooyoung notices the pair of panties and picks them up.

Sooyoung shoots her that sexy smile and brings them up to her face. “These are cute.” She inhales and Haseul almost cracks up when Sooyoung physically winces at the smell and tries to shake it off by flicking the panties off on the other side of the room. Haseul would want to defend herself by the fact her coochie does not stink but she can’t tell Sooyoung that she was fucking her enemy not but thirty minutes ago either.

######

Haseul crawls up the bed as Sooyoung crawls after her. She squeaks when her calves are grabbed and Sooyoung pulls her down so that the taller girl is hovering over her. Sooyoung smiles and Haseul can’t help but smile too. She was already getting wet with the way Sooyoung was looking at her. She has been waiting for this moment for weeks now. If she had to wait any longer she was going to start begging Sooyoung.

The girl slowly unbuttons the shirt she had thrown on. Haseul gets a little impatient and ends up ripping the buttons of the shirt as she tears it off. Sooyoung widens her eyes at the site and Haseul couldn’t be more pleasant as the taller girl looks her up while biting her lip. “I’m sorry I don’t have any cake for you.” Sooyoung’s staring at her tits when she says it and slowly the dark eyes come to meet her own. Leaning up she goes to bite the girl’s ear. “But I got a cookie that tastes just as sweet.”

Sooyoung groans above her and starts to strip. The girl had pajama’s on but she made them look hot. Haseul helps her take her underwear off leaning forward to bite at the girl’s collar bones. Sooyoung was sensitive to many things but her whole chest area was probably the worse. The taller girl was already a whimpering mess for Haseul. Sooyoung pushes her back down and wiggles her way in between her legs. Haseul moans out when Sooyoung starts to kiss and suck on her neck making her shudder underneath her lips.

The taller girl leans back up and laughs as she moves down Haseul’s body. “God I’m so horny.” Haseul giggles as well. They were meant to be together. Haseul would make sure the girl would fall for her tonight. Grabbing her face she moves it towards her titties and Sooyoung instantly attaches her mouth to the perky nipple. Sooyoung raises up a bit and Haseul winces when the girl still has her nipple in between her teeth. 

Releasing it she stares at her assets, “hello tia…tamera.” Sooyoung was also a dork. That was a huge difference between her and Doyeon as well. Doyeon was suave while Sooyoung was just a goofball in the most serious moments. Haseul claws her nails through girl’s hair as Sooyoung works her magic in sucking on all the flesh on her chest. Plump lips ghost along her stomach kissing along the line of her abs. 

When Sooyoung is finally in front of her pussy she can’t help but hold her breath in anticipation. “Fuck you’re so wet.” Maybe it was because she already came three times tonight but Sooyoung didn’t need to know that. Gripping the pillow she moans out loudly when Sooyoung licks all the way up her slit. The taller girl pulls away and looks deep into her eyes. Haseul’s body in on fire until Sooyoung narrows her eyes and sniffs. “Hmm that’s weird it’s different.” Haseul leans up. Sooyoung was referring to the panties.

Thankfully Sooyoung shrugs and goes back to eating her pussy out. Grabbing onto the girl’s head she pulls her in further, she couldn’t get enough of Sooyoung’s hot mouth on her clit. “You’re so good baby, this pussy is all for you.” Haseul ignores the way Sooyoung pulls back to giggle before continuing to flick her tongue up and down.

She watches closely as Sooyoung gathers up all her cum from the previous orgasms. She really seems to enjoy the taste. When Sooyoung starts to suck and kiss on her that’s when she starts to lose it and also pulls out her phone. Recording the girl she moans at how hot it is watching Sooyoung go to work on her. Digging her heels in the girl’s back she raises off the bed while moaning out. Pulling Sooyoung’s hair she zooms in on the girl’s face and how it was covered in her juices.

“Baby keep doing that I’m gonna cum!” Sooyoung moans into her and goes faster with whatever trick she was doing on her clit. The girl is so horny that she’s grinding her hips into the mattress and Haseul is desperate to help her out. Tugging on the black hair hard she starts to ride the girl’s face to quicken her release. Stopping the video she saves it and throws her phone down. Sooyoung didn’t even notice her filming.

When Sooyoung bites down on her clit she raises up in the bed and screams out. Shuddering the girl keeps licking on her but at a slower pace, helping her ride her orgasm. Haseul still has a death grip on Sooyoung’s hair and pants out when she finally starts to come down from her orgasmic high. Letting go Sooyoung pulls back with a trail of saliva and cum connected to both of their ‘ _lips_ ’.

The taller girl licks her lips and crawls back up the mattress. Haseul eyes slightly fall, she knew they could go all night, “My turn I’m going to make you feel so good baby.” Haseul smiles and grips the girl's waist while pulling her down on top. Kissing on the side of Sooyoung’s face she starts to let her hand travel down to where they both wanted it. Right inside of Sooyoung’s soaking wet…phone? 

Haseul pauses as the ringing goes off. Sooyoung groans and crawls off of her to go cancel it but Haseul watches the girl’s face go pale white. Much different from how it was flushed not but a second ago.

#####

Sooyoung answers the phone and there’s a deep voice yelling on the line. Haseul instantly recognizes it as Jinsoul’s voice. It was deep and melodic not really matching her cute and fluffy look. Jinsoul was a really good friend of hers but lately, she’s been annoyed with the girl. Haseul was confused on her relationship with Sooyoung she thought they hated each other. Jinsoul had this tight leash on Sooyoung despite them not even being friends. 

But that started to change because now Jinsoul was showing up in Sooyoung’s pictures on Instagram and snapchat and Haseul notices how much more Jinsoul talked about Sooyoung. Usually, it was just about how upset she was at the girl but now it was things like _Seul she’s so cute!_ And every detail of what they’ve done together. Haseul was so jealous on the fact that Jinsoul had become that close to Sooyoung in a couple of weeks when she’s been trying for months. 

It was unfair. 

Haseul was witnessing how tight that leash was when Sooyoung was apologizing over the phone, “I was taking Jiwoo and Jungeun home!”

Sooyoung holds the phone out from ear as Jinsoul yells some more. “Why are you so damn nosy?” 

Haseul watches with a heavy heart as Sooyoung starts to pull her clothes back on. She guesses they weren’t going to have an all-nighter by the way Sooyoung was talking softly into the phone. This was proof that Jinsoul was a priority to the taller girl. Not Haseul, not anyone. But Jung Jinsoul. Sooyoung giggles into the phone when she ties the strings to her sweatpants tight.

Sooyoung is smiling when she ends the call and looks at her with a guilty look. “Sorry something came up, I have to go.” It’s a genuine apology Haseul can tell by the way Sooyoung is smiling at her.

With a ragged voice, she asks, “it’s Jinsoul isn’t it?” Pulling up the covers over her body she makes the question sound like she was asking who was on the phone. But deeper than that she was asking if Jinsoul’s was her person. “I could tell by the voice, it’s a bit unique isn’t it?”

She was Shownu’s person.

Sooyoung was her person.

But by the way Sooyoung smiles at the thought of her blonde friend. She knows she’ll never be anything more to Sooyoung than a hookup. A mutual friend with needs. Because Jinsoul was Sooyoung’s person. Anyone could see the blonde owned her heart. Except for the two that needed to know. Haseul felt sorry for Sooyoung because Jinsoul already had her person.

Her secret boyfriend. That she told no one about. Jinsoul had her person in the shadows. Haseul doesn’t know why she hides her from everyone. 

But she figured out when she saw them out together one day.

Haseul hated Jinsoul in a way. How she could have someone as perfect as Sooyoung standing right in front of her but still be with the scum of the earth. She knew the guy from Shownu and Shownu likes everyone. But he didn’t like Jinsoul’s man. 

She wishes she was Sooyoung’s person because she would treat her the way she deserved. But she knows she’ll never have the chance.

Because Sooyoung is already out the door going to where she felt like she belonged. 

To Jinsoul

… 

Sooyoung is walking up to the front porch steps when Jinsoul notices her. The girl looks tired but she had been waiting for Sooyoung outside the whole time with a bug zapper in hand. Sooyoung smiles when the girl stands up clearly upset and holds the bug zapper up in the air like she was going to hit her. “Tell why I shouldn’t beat your ass with this?” 

Laughing she just holds out her arms. Sooyoung was going to try and charm her way out of this one. Because Jinsoul was always weak when it came to affection. Instantly the blonde drops the tool and falls into her embrace and Sooyoung slightly wheezes from how tight Jinsoul is holding her. “It’s four AM what were you doing at Haseul’s?” Sooyoung nervously laughs and tries to distract the blonde by kissing the side of her head and asking her what she’s talking about.

Sooyoung knows she’s not getting out of this one when Jinsoul pulls Chaewon’s phone where Sooyoung’s location was shared. “I was picking up my present.” Jinsoul pulls herself out of her embrace and narrows her eyes. “But I didn’t get it because you called and started freaking out!” Jinsoul seems to believe her and makes Sooyoung hold her again. 

Jinsoul is leaning into her so she just rocks them back and forth. When Jinsoul called her she couldn’t help but answer. What if something was wrong? As soon as she picked the phone and Jinsoul started to cuss her up and down she knew then what was wrong. She wasn’t home. Sooyoung couldn’t help but get a little giddy from how worried Jinsoul was. 

The girl freaking out on her made her feel good in a sense. Because it showed Jinsoul did care. Everything Jinsoul was doing showed that she cared. “I was just scared.” Sooyoung shushes the girl and rubs on her back that was trembling a bit. Jinsoul’s face is stuffed between her neck and shoulder. Sooyoung shudders when the girl’s hot breath hits her neck. Slowly Sooyoung starts to unravel when Jinsoul tugs on her shirt. “I want you here with me...” Sooyoung lets her eyes roll the back of her head. “And your family.” Right, Jinsoul was completely innocent saying that even though the first part had a deep rasp to it. Sooyoung knows how dangerous it is to be around Jinsoul when she’s this turned on. This was probably the worst it’s been in a long time.

Pushing the girl off of her when her legs start to shake she thinks of things that piss her off, Hyejoo using a sharpie to give Yerim tattoos, customers at the dinner, Doyeon’s nose. But all those thoughts are fuzzy because of how dark Jinsoul’s eyes are. Gripping on the blonde’s shoulders she starts to become a ticking time bomb. Maybe she could just take Jinsoul in her Granma’s greenhouse to-

“Fuck!”

Her until daylight. Jinsoul is swatting at the air and backs away from Sooyoung. If or when she meets god she would make sure to bitch slap him or her for making mosquitos. Because her pussy was making her feel so brave that she was about to ask Jinsoul the greatest birthday gift of all. Sex. But the way the blonde was dancing around fighting off the bugs reminded her that this was her friend…her best friend.

And you don’t fuck your best friends. No matter how hot they are and the way their body looks in your clothes. No matter how perfect they are with how loving and affectionate they can be. No matter how good they make you feel like you’re on cloud nine with a single glance.

No matter how deeply you’re in love with them. After trying years to not be.

You don’t fuck your best friend. Fucking is reserved for friends with benefits. 

Because once you put sex and desire with one of the closest people in your life? They just become your soulmate.

Sooyoung was not Jinsoul’s soulmate.

But Jinsoul was hers.

Sooyoung forgets about how horny she is and instead thinks about how fucked she is again. This wasn’t supposed to happen but how could it not when this was the same Jinsoul she fell in love with years ago. Except now she realizes she’s never fell out of love with her, only buried it. Now that Jinsoul was digging those feelings back up she knew it was going to be a problem. But Sooyoung was good at hiding things. So she thinks she’ll be okay.

Hopefully. 

“Let’s go, doofus.” Jinsoul groans at the nickname and follows Sooyoung inside. The older girl moves to the couch where she’s been sleeping every time Jinsoul stays over. She couldn’t handle the blonde that close to her. But Jinsoul follows her to the couch and when Sooyoung sits down so does she.

“Come sleep with me.” Sooyoung drops her head. Tonight would probably be harder to get Jinsoul to go. 

Pushing the blonde she groans, “no go to bed!”

“If you don’t at least let me take the couch it’s your birthday!” They continue to argue for minutes until a lamp turns on beside the recliner. Sooyoung’s Granma is giving them the scariest look imaginable. Grabbing the blonde’s hand she starts to lead them upstairs. When Sooyoung finally makes it to her bed she makes sure to grab the body pillow underneath it.

Jinsoul crawls into bed and opens up her arms but Sooyoung just smacks the pillow in her face. Climbing in as well she puts her back towards Jinsoul. When hands start to snake around her waist she kicks behind her and lands one on Jinsoul’s thigh, “what the heck?”

Snorting she answers the blonde, “I gave you the pillow for a reason.” She knew how much Jinsoul liked to cuddle but Sooyoung wasn’t feeling it tonight.

“But you’re warm and softer.”

“Jinsoul!” She hears the blonde behind her groan and turns as well. Jinsoul still manages to get some contact because she scoots back so they’re touching. 

“Goodnight Sooyoung I love you.” Sooyoung hums and starts to drift to sleep but is jabbed by an elbow. “Say it back!”

Sooyoung throws her arm back to smack Jinsoul but afterwards, she makes sure to say it back. 

Because really…she meant it with all her heart.

…

Waking up was her least favorite thing especially in the middle of the night. Sooyoung mumbles under her breath and looks around the room. Looking down Haneul is licking at her hand hanging off the bed. Groaning she pulls it back up and checks to see if her sister is awake and surprisingly she nor Heejin were in it. They must have been getting a snack downstairs.

It’s darker than earlier which is weird because Sooyoung went to bed at four. Turning around she freezes when she’s face to face with Jinsoul who’s wide awake. “Hey.” She whispers out but Jinsoul doesn’t say a word. The girl just keeps staring at her with dark eyes. Sooyoung’s breathe hitches when Jinsoul bites her lips and reaches forward to touch her. Looking down she sighs at Jinsoul toying with the waistband on her sweatpants. 

#####

“You want me don’t you?” Jinsoul asks in a seductive tone. Sooyoung can’t move she’s frozen underneath the girl’s touch. The hand crawls up and scratches at her tummy and Jinsoul leans forward so her lips are ghosting along her own. Sooyoung whimpers when she feels the hot breath against them. “Don’t worry about the others I told them to leave.” Closing her eyes she’s confused. Why was Jinsoul doing this?

“I’m going to give you your birthday present.” Arms wrap around her neck and Jinsoul rolls over on top of her. “I can be your fantasy tonight Sooyoung.” The blonde groans out against her lips. Sooyoung doesn’t get to react because Jinsoul’s mouth is on hers. Opening her lips wider she allows Jinsoul to shove her tongue inside. The kiss is so aggressive but Sooyoung wants more and pulls at Jinsoul’s ass to make her grind harder against her. 

Wrapping her legs around the girl’s waist and scratching at her back she moans as Jinsoul rubs her tongue against her own. Jinsoul keeps rolling her hips into her center and Sooyoung was already so frustrated from before she wasn’t for sure if she’d last much longer. Especially since it was Jinsoul and her kisses felt so good. “Are you wet for me baby?” Gasping against Jinsoul’s lips she watches with shaky eyes as the girl travels south and starts to kiss on her neck. Sooyoung is whining when the hand that was on her hip dips underneath the waistband of her pants. 

Sooyoung nods and arches into her when Jinsoul’s fingers press up against her clit. It’s so sensitive right now. Sooyoung’s whole body is. She’s already trembling while Jinsoul makes tight circles on her clit while sucking on her neck. The blonde raises up to moan against her ear, “you feel so good, I’m gonna fuck you until your legs go numb.” Sooyoung moans deeply at the dirty talk. She didn’t imagine Jinsoul being like this. So dirty, but it makes her ten times wetter for the girl.

Jinsoul bites down hard on her neck when fingers dip into sticky wetness and Sooyoung squeezes her eyes shut as Jinsoul moans out her name. 

######

_“Sooyoung…”_

_“Sooyoung?”_

“Sooyoung? Hello, are you okay?” Bolting up in the bed she’s breathing fast and hard like she just ran a marathon. Her sisters are looking at her with wide eyes and Jinsoul is in front of her with a stack of pancakes. Sooyoung grimaces at how hot and sweaty her body is and ignores it as she takes the plate of Jinsoul’s hands. “Oops, I forgot the milk!” The blonde hops back up and runs out the room.

“Were you having a nightmare?” Sooyoung jumps out of her skin at the ghostly voice behind her. Turning around to Chaewon she only nods. It’s a lie because really it was a dream come true. But that’s all it would ever be. Is just a dream. Quickly she forgets about the dream blaming it on how frustrated she is. Her best-friend was hot how could she not have these thoughts about her.

She’s not really feeling the pancakes so she hands them to the twins who happily take the plate out her hands. Sooyoung is grossed out by Hyejoo who picks them up in her hands to eat it. The syrup getting all over the girl. She needs the sugar though because she looks hungover. Jinsoul comes back with the milk but frowns when her hard work is in some gremlins hands. “Mmm, milkies gimmie gimmie.” Sooyoung looks at her younger sister with disgrace and snorts when Chaewon kicks her.

“Don’t say it like that Hyejoo.” The girl flips off the blonde and continues to chow down on the pancakes. 

Yerim is drinking the milk when she remembers something, “by the way Haneul in the pet hospital.” 

Sooyoung panics, “what? Why?”

The girl rolls her eyes like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “because he ate cake duh!” Sooyoung is the one kicking this time. Sooyoung then notices that the cake is still on the floor. All smashed up in the carpet. But she can’t think about it since Jinsoul is handing everyone out boxes. Sooyoung is skeptical and so are the girl’s on the other side of the room. Staying quiet the whole time. Opening up the gift she gasps and looks up to Jinsoul whose just smiling. 

Sooyoung starts to jump up and down screaming to the top of her lungs as she held the ticket to see the Wonder Girls at the summer festival in a month. Everyone is holding their ears as they find out they have tickets as well. The summer festival was an expensive event on the boardwalk. They could ride rides and eat as much as they want with the addition of multiple artists coming to play.

Wonder girls were headlining and Sooyoung had a VIP pass, along with a backstage meet and greet. “I'M GOING TO MEET SUNMI!” Sooyoung screams and continues to celebrate. 

Jinsoul chuckles and opens up her arms, “you still love me more right?” Sooyoung jumps on top of her and kisses all over the blonde’s face actually forgetting about the dream earlier because one of them was becoming true right now.

“No…you know how I feel about Sunmi,” Jinsoul whines at the confession and pushes Sooyoung off but the girl doesn’t care because she’s seeing the wonder girls. 

The twins are also excited because some of their favorite artists are coming too, SNSD and 2NE1. Sooyoung remembers when the twins used to fist fight over them and she’d always have to break them up. She wonders if they’ve gotten over that feud. Hyunjin and Heejin got a ticket as well and so did the couple that Sooyoung took home last night. Looks like Jinsoul took care of everyone. 

“Sooyoung stop screaming it’s annoying.” Hyunjin groans out and Sooyoung turns to the girl.

Putting down her ticket carefully she stands back up, “at least I’m not ugly.”

“At least I’m not stupid.” Hyunjin bites back.

Hyejoo is the one to speak up this time, “you’re both gay and that’s a tragedy so sit down.” Sooyoung looks at her with narrowed eyes. She was pretty sure Yerim was the only straight one out of the four of them. 

“Well, I think it’s a tragedy that you all are adopted.” Her sisters give her the worst glares imaginable but Sooyoung doesn’t know how to shut her mouth. “You think that I, sexiest girl alive, could be blood-related to literal trolls.” Chaewon is the only one laughing while the rest of the room is silent. 

Hyunjin stands up and starts to charge towards her, “no wait it’s my birthday!”

“I don’t care what day it is, I’m still beating your ass!” Sooyoung screams and jumps over tops of Jinsoul on the bed and cowers behind the blonde. Her heart starts to hammer when her savior holds her arms out to protect her. Sooyoung has never been so thankful for someone. Jinsoul tricks her though and stands up sticking her tongue out as Hyunjin piles on top of her and starts to torture her.

Sooyoung may hate it right now since she’s getting forced wet willies.

But this may have been the best birthday she’s had in a long time.

…

“Yo Hani we got one big boss burger and a side of onion rings,” Sooyoung mumbles out to the cook and she sighs at the order.

The woman looks at her and wiggles around, “another one? Damn these fatasses.” Sooyoung snorts and gets the man a drink before taking it back out to him. He looks like a trucker with the way he’s wearing his hat. Thank god dinner rush hour was over and there was only a couple of stragglers. Sooyoung would probably spend the remaining time cleaning and stuff.

A few hours later it’s completely dead. Hani is sleeping in the back and Sooyoung is just wiping down the tables for the third time and making sure the ketchup and hot sauce bottle were full. Sooyoung is bored but work is work. Leaning back on the table she throws her head back and groans. Practice was hard today but she and Jinsoul were getting better every day. Coach V was pleased. Haseul seemed a little weird today though she thinks. Sooyoung has tried to speak to the girl multiple times but she’s been ignored for the past two weeks. They’ve even had a couple of games and once Haseul didn’t even show up.

Sooyoung was worried about her, to say the least. She lost all her hookups in one go. Maybe she should start looking for new ones. Jinsoul wasn’t annoying anymore. She didn’t come over now. It was like they were just normal friends now, like her and Jungeun. It helped Sooyoung a great deal with the feelings. She could control them when Jinsoul wasn’t around. 

When the door to the dinner opens and the bell rings Sooyoung jumps up and greets the customers. And speak of the devil because Jinsoul walks in but she’s with all her snob friends. Sooyoung has never liked Jinsoul’s friends. They were uptight and rude. They didn’t match the blonde at all but still to this day she hung out with them.

There were Yeri and Lucas which wasn’t so bad, he was just a dumbass while Yeri didn’t give a fuck. There was also that girl Joy from the other day and Sooyoung’s second worst enemy. Jackson. Sooyoung and Jackson had never gotten along because Jackson liked Jinsoul, but so did Sooyoung. Neither of them has ever got a chance with the girl though. Sooyoung had never confessed and Jackson wasn’t Jinsoul’s type. It was like this rivalry between them.

They cram into one booth. Jinsoul and Jackson on one side while Lucas sat between the other two on the other side. Sooyoung rolls her eyes and goes behind the counter to get silverware and her note pad. When she looks over the counter she gasps when Jinsoul is staring right at her. Straightening back up she tries to calm the beating in her heart. 

Standing in front of the table they all stop talking except for Jinsoul because she was too busy looking at Sooyoung and turn to her. “Drinks?” Sooyoung mumbles out. Jinsoul’s stare was starting to make her sweat and act a fool. The pen was shaking in her hand. She and Jinsoul cuddled last night…why was she so nervous right now. Maybe it was because of how alluring the look was. Maybe it was because Jinsoul was looking her up and down with this glint in her eye.

The group gives their drink orders and Sooyoung frowns when Jinsoul orders water. The girl loved their pink lemonade. Going back she tries to wake up Hani splashing water on her but the woman doesn’t budge. She guesses she can do the order herself.

Back at the booth, Jinsoul is still looking towards the kitchen. Sooyoung looked really cute in her work outfit. “That’s Ha Sooyoung right?” Jinsoul nods at Joy’s voice. “She’s so cute…”

Yeri speaks up this time, “heard she’s a player so don’t try it.” Jinsoul frowns. Sooyoung wasn’t a player. She just doesn’t like dating. There’s nothing wrong with that. 

Joy laughs, “Yeri that just makes it fun.” 

“Sooyoung’s a loser who would want to get with her,” Jackson mutters out and Joy starts to yell at him. Jinsoul smiles as the boy gets attacked with Joy’s insults. Jinsoul thinks whoever ends up with Sooyoung will be really lucky. In her eyes, Sooyoung was probably the best girlfriend anyone could ask for. She was sweet and caring, so thoughtful. It helped that she was attractive too. 

Jinsoul wonders what it would take to win a player’s heart.

Sooyoung is bringing their drinks out on a tray and huffs as she sits the heavy thing down. Leaning on the table she hands them out before bringing the tray back up and through her note pad. Sooyoung takes their orders one by one, Lucas’s is a mouthful. When she gets to Jinsoul she looks at the girl tentatively and the blonde smiles. She hasn’t taken her eyes off Sooyoung the whole time, “surprise me.” 

The table stifles laughter well just one side of it since Jackson is giving Jinsoul a death glare. Sooyoung takes it as a challenge. Running back she quickly makes all of the meals. Sooyoung prided herself on being a good cook so she was going to show off. She makes Jinsoul’s favorite. A burger with nothing but onions and cheese with sweet onion sauce…she knew how bad the blonde’s breath was going to smell after this. Fries with spicy mayo and a tall strawberry milkshake with chocolate chips and extra whipped toppings.

Sooyoung is sweating by the time she’s finished and she knows she looks greasy. Bringing out the plates a few at a time the booth is in awe at how good it looks. Especially Lucas. Jinsoul’s plate is last and the blonde’s jaw drops and Sooyoung swears her mouth is watering. Sooyoung’s really hot so she thinks she’ll go stand in the cooler a bit and then wash her face. 

She’s stopped when Jinsoul’s friends start talking, “I thought you were on a diet soul?” Yeri asks.

Jackson comments too while cramming a fork full of loaded fries in his mouth. Cheese and grease getting all over his chin, “yeah you have been gaining weight recently.” Jinsoul frowns and Sooyoung wishes she spat in Jackson’s food. He was a pig, so he should eat like one too. Sooyoung is about to kill her friends when Jinsoul looks up at with glossy eyes handing her back the plate and milkshake.

“I’m sorry but I think I want just some cucumbers and tomatoes.” Sooyoung nods with her jaw clenched and takes the plate back. Slamming it down on the grill. Going to the fridge she opens up the door. They only used cucumbers for pickles. That went on greasy burgers. If Jinsoul wanted a burger she should eat a burger. Slamming the cucumber down she starts to chop aggressively. It wakes Hani up.

The woman yawns and pads over, “damn are you angry you’re giving that thing hell.”

Sooyoung stops and points the knife in the direction of the booth. “I’m sick of men.” 

“Word…but why didn’t you wake me up.” Sooyoung sighs at the older woman. She loved Hani but she was lazy. If she didn’t have Sooyoung the place would be shut down by now.

“I tried.” The older woman laughs and goes over to make some coffee. Sooyoung gets done with the chopping and puts it all on a plate. Taking it out to the blonde she sets it down. Joy is done with her food already so Sooyoung reaches over to grab at the empty plate but not without knocking her elbow into Jackson’s drink. 

The soda spills all over him and he hops up. Sooyoung gives him a fake apology and goes to clean it up but really she’s just throwing more soda on the guy. “Stop you’re making it worst you bitch!” Jinsoul gasps but Sooyoung doesn’t even mind. Jackson nudges the blonde. “Get out the way so I can go clean this off.” Jinsoul stands up and Sooyoung scoots in to wipe the rest of it up. 

Joy is a little skeptical of Jinsoul when the girl spends the entire time looking at Sooyoung’s ass when she’s bent over cleaning the mess up. When Sooyoung is done she curses and goes back to the kitchen. “Yo Jinsoul you want these fries?” Lucas asks and the girl shakes her head nibbling on a cucumber. Lucas shrugs and shoves them in, Yeri is still laughing at Jackson.

Sooyoung is thankful when they finally leave but sighs when it’s Jackson paying. She’s so pissed she doesn’t notice Jinsoul going to the bathroom. “Actually can I get a refill of this?” The dude asks and Sooyoung nods. She fills it up and brings it back to the counter. He gives her a hundred dollar bill. “Keep the change.” Sooyoung doesn’t believe it and she’s right when the cup of soda and ice is poured over her head and the guy laughs.

Tossing the cup behind him he leaves and Sooyoung is left soaking behind the cash register. The bill is too wet too and Sooyoung doesn’t even know if she can accept it anymore. 

Embarrassed and angry she slams the bill down on the counter. Sooyoung knows her mother told her to stop fighting since she always is, but Jackson is about to get his ass beat.

Sooyoung is about to walk out the door when a hand grabs onto her waist pulling her back. Turning around ready to cuss at Hani she freezes when it’s Jinsoul.

She doesn’t say a word as the girl pulls her into the bathroom. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things are better now hehe and well Yves has a little problem. How are you guys liking the pace? It’s a bit slow...but I’m having a lot of fun writing this! I hope everyone is having fun reading!


	8. Never broken Never fixed

Her first instinct is to push Jinsoul but the girl has a tight hold on her. The blonde gets them back into the bathroom and locks the door. It was a one person bathroom and it was tiny. Jinsoul takes advantage of that giving Sooyoung no room to get around her. She pissed at Jackson and even Jinsoul because the girl was keeping her from beating his ass. Jinsoul was always protecting her friends over her.

Pushing the blonde again she snaps out, “fuck off Jinsoul let me out!” Jinsoul doesn’t move though she just guards the door. Sooyoung groans when she tries to get past her again but Jinsoul holds her off. Throwing her head back she turns and spots the mop bucket and kicks it with all she has. Jinsoul jumps a bit as it bounces off the corner. Sooyoung is starting to lose her temper and cries out of frustration. 

This situation is so similar and the way Jinsoul is looking at her is the same as that day. It’s a weird stare and it makes Sooyoung feel suffocated, almost afraid of what the blonde is thinking. She doesn’t want Jinsoul to be annoyed with her, or even disappointed. She doesn’t want Jinsoul to not like her but the look the blonde is giving her makes her feel like she’s the worst person in the world. She didn’t do anything but why does she feel like she did.

_Sooyoung was crying in the janitor’s closet, again. This has been the third time this month. Today Jinsoul’s friends had cornered her and wrote on her forehead with lipstick. Jackson had laughed once he was done and Lucas just gave her this funny look. Yeri was chewing on her bubble gum and followed the boys once they were finished._

_Doyeon stayed behind laughing at her before flicking her gum at her. Sooyoung watches the girl walk away with a sway to her hips. She was the most popular freshman besides Jinsoul. Sooyoung’s be-…ex best friend was popular because the other popular kids used her for homework. And the fact that she was gorgeous._

_Sooyoung is about to stand up when a boy comes and holds his hand out. He’s cute with big ears and a wide smile. She doesn’t want any help though, “I’m fine.”_

_The boy furrows his brows a bit, “are you sure?” Sooyoung nods and he pulls his hand away and gives her an apologetic smile before walking off._

_Picking herself up from the floor she starts to walk through the hall. People are staring at her and laughing as well. She can only imagine what they wrote. Sprinting to her locker she quickly undoes the lock and checks out herself in the mirror. The word dyke is bolded in red across her forehead. Sooyoung slams her locker door closed and runs off to her hiding place. Ignoring all the laughing and pointing fingers._

_Now she was just sniffling. She had to toughen up, she had no friends now. Since Jinsoul decided she wanted a fresh start in high school. Sooyoung couldn’t stand it. Seeing Jinsoul with her group of friends smiling as if she wasn’t tearing Sooyoung’s heart out. It was probably Sooyoung’s worst nightmare._

_The latch to the door starts moving and she freezes and waits for the janitor to come in and yell at her. But it’s not, it’s baby faced Jinsoul. Sooyoung goes to talk but Jinsoul reaches forward to shush her. The girl turns to lock the door and pulls out a wet one pack from her back pocket. Sooyoung starts to cry again as Jinsoul starts to wipe her forehead clean._

_Sooyoung wants nothing more than a hug but every time she reaches for her the girl pushes her off. Jinsoul is so cold. She doesn’t apologize or anything. “I’m only doing this because I don’t want you skipping more class, here.” Sooyoung sniffles as her heart drops. She just wanted her best friend back but here she was giving her a detention slip._

_Ripping the sheet up she glares at the girl. Jinsoul was giving her the coldest look imaginable. “I hate you!” She doesn’t mean it but she’s never been so frustrated at someone. Just a few months ago she had her confession ready for Jinsoul, she had worked so hard on it but Jackson and Lucas had ripped it up all in front of her. The letter, the roses, the chocolates. Everything. But now she was miles away from Jinsoul._

_Jinsoul didn’t know but she was sure her friends had told her. Or at least that’s what she thought. “Why are you doing this to me Jinsoul?” Sooyoung doesn’t realize how hard she’s crying until she starts to hiccup. “What made you hate me Jinsoul?” Sooyoung begs for answers. But she gets none, just that condescending stare that makes her feel empty. Like it was her fault that all this has happened_

_The girl hangs her head low as she leaves. Sooyoung is angry, so angry. Friends are supposed to stick together. But she guesses she made the mistake by thinking of Jinsoul more than that. Friends lasted forever. Lovers burned out._

_Sooyoung still can smell the girl’s perfume. Coconut, and it’s as if she’s still standing in front of Sooyoung when she speaks out, “I’m so sorry.”_

Jinsoul is giving her that same look. “Why are you looking at me like that Jinsoul?” The blonde shakes her head. Sooyoung steps forward and pushes on her shoulders and Jinsoul falls back into the door. “You gonna pick them over me again?” Sooyoung was always jealous. What did they have over her? She’d grown up with Jinsoul she knew all her secrets. The girl always chooses them over her though.

The girl says nothing, “stop looking at me like that!” Jinsoul finally comes closer to her but Sooyoung keeps her back. When Sooyoung tries to push her Jinsoul grabs her hands and pulls her forward. Sooyoung tries to stop the hands wrapping around her but eventually they win and she’s pulled into Jinsoul’s embrace. 

It hits her once again. That feeling of pain that she never got to let out. It wasn’t that she was practically bullied as a teen. She was a little thankful for it because now she was thick-skinned. Sooyoung had become a fighter, she always stood up for herself now. People eventually knew better than to mess with her. Sure she had gotten a few black eyes and busted cheeks but it was worth it in the end. Because Sooyoung had become headstrong.

When it came to Jinsoul however Sooyoung was weaker. She had no defenses. All those years wasn’t about her being hurt. It was about Jinsoul not being there to patch her up every time. Not being there to hold her while she cried. That was the worst part. Is not having Jinsoul there. But now she was here holding onto her tightly as if Sooyoung would disappear if she let go. “Fuck you Jinsoul.”

Just like the fight with Doyeon, another badly healed wound was opened. But Sooyoung was letting Jinsoul heal it properly this time. Sooyoung cries harder when Jinsoul finally starts talking to her, “It’s okay.” 

Jinsoul still smelled like coconuts. “It’s okay Sooyoung you’re allowed to be angry at me.” Jinsoul doesn’t let her go no matter how hard she tries to push her off. Jinsoul would pull her back in as soon as Sooyoung finally got to shove on her shoulder. It wasn’t working Jinsoul wasn’t going to let her go. Tiring herself out she lets herself be held by Jinsoul and the girl rocks them back and forth. Later tonight Sooyoung would be embarrassed by her little temper tantrum. 

Jinsoul rubs at her back as she continues to sway them. Sooyoung hiccups again and talks a bit slower since the crying has made her sleepy, “why do you always pick them?”

The embrace loosens up and Jinsoul backs away, “let me fight for myself Jinsoul I’ve done this for years.” Jinsoul grabs her face with both hands and all the sudden Sooyoung’s being pushed into the wall. Jinsoul almost looks angry. Sooyoung grabs at the girl’s wrists to keep herself balanced as Jinsoul wipes at her tear stains with her thumbs and it’s a bit rough but Sooyoung doesn’t say anything.

The blonde is breathing through her nose and Sooyoung can hear it. She watches closely as Jinsoul closes her eyes, “I can’t even look at you right now.” Sooyoung wants to ask why. What on earth did she do this time? “It reminds me of how pathetic I was.” That didn’t make any sense but Sooyoung nods her head anyway. Jinsoul’s grip on her head was tight so it’s a small movement. “It was never about them Sooyoung.” She wants to ask her what she means but Sooyoung is too focused on the blonde’s eyes.

Sooyoung hates when she cries hard because all she does is hiccups. She can’t help but curse every time she does and Jinsoul waits until she’s done to start talking. “I don’t want you to fight anymore I can’t stand it I hate seeing you get hurt.” Jinsoul opens her eyes back up. Sooyoung hiccups again and Jinsoul leans forward to kiss underneath her eyes. Sooyoung holds her breath as the blonde does this. Her lips are soft to the touch and Sooyoung shudders. It makes her hiccups go away.

Jinsoul pulls back and Sooyoung flutters her eyes. She had this feeling in her tummy she couldn’t describe. “Let me take care of you from now on. Like I was supposed to back then.” Jinsoul is hugging her again and softly threading one of her hands in her hair. Sooyoung’s bun is let loose and her now sticky hair is being twisted in Jinsoul’s hands.

After a few minutes Sooyoung is almost snoring against the girl’s chest. Jinsoul was softly humming while massaging her head gently. Sooyoung had her arms loosely wrapped around the girl’s waist just leaning her weight on her. Even though it feels good she knows she has to go back to work now, “Hani is probably wondering where I am.” It’s a bit muffled since she’s against Jinsoul’s chest.

Sighing out she apologizes, “Sorry I had that little temper tantrum.”

Jinsoul chuckles and Sooyoung can hear the deep rumbles from the girl’s chest. “It’s fine I understand your frustration.” Sooyoung wishes Jinsoul stayed like this back then. Then her life wouldn’t have been miserable for several years. She wouldn’t have all these scars if Jinsoul were there to hold her down. “I promise I’m never leaving your side again Sooyoung, you can kill me if I break it.” Sooyoung snorts and pinches at the girl’s lower back. 

Raising up she turns her head to the side and looks at Jinsoul expectantly. The blonde groans and grabs her face again, “god you’re still such a baby.” Sooyoung likes this, especially when Jinsoul actually starts to plant fat kisses against her cheeks. She’s already cheered up by the time Jinsoul starts to bite them. Pushing the blonde off of her they both giggle. 

Jinsoul reaches her hand out and of course Sooyoung takes it. To most people Sooyoung was some cool play girl. But there was nothing she loved more than getting babied by Jinsoul. The feeling was irreplaceable, Sooyoung knows she’ll never get it from someone else. After Jinsoul helps cleaning the stickiness off they walk back out of the bathroom.

Sooyoung starts to get pissed again. Jackson is waiting there probably for Jinsoul. When he sees her he frowns and starts to gripe at her, “there you are god come on we’re going to be late for the movie.” Sooyoung lets her shoulders drop when Jinsoul lets go of her hand and walks towards Jackson. 

But that dreadful feeling is replaced by a smile stretching out on her face when there’s a slap noise that echoes through the restaurant. Hani bursts out in laughter behind the counter as the boy starts to cry. Jinsoul had back handed him so hard he tripped back into the wall. Sooyoung stifles a laugh at how hard he’s trying to keep his tears in. Jinsoul points towards her and Sooyoung bites her lip at the deep voice, “apologize now!” 

Jackson looks at Jinsoul and then to Sooyoung. He’s holding his face and sniffling, “sorry Sooyoung.”

Laughing she scratches at the back of her head, “hmm I didn’t know you was a little bitch Jackson.” He glares at her.

Jinsoul then proceeds to cuss him up and down, Sooyoung believed Jinsoul now. Since the girl was taking every bad memory of them and replacing them with good ones. Jinsoul had stood up for her and it had felt good. Jackson then makes his way out of the diner. Jinsoul is shaking her head when she turns back to Sooyoung. 

She just smiles at the blonde, “you hungry?” Jinsoul nods and Sooyoung goes to retrieve the meal she made Jinsoul. The girl is now sitting at the counter when Sooyoung brings the food out and sits it down in front of. She sighs and Sooyoung rests her chin on her hand as she watches Jinsoul dig in. Hani is beside her as well and they’re a little enchanted by the way Jinsoul aggressively eats and slurps on the milkshake.

Jinsoul points the milkshake in Sooyoung’s direction so of course she takes a drink. Hani giggles when Jinsoul has a mouth full of food and gives Sooyoung a nod, “mmm delicious.” 

“You’re welcome Jinsoul.” Jinsoul cheeses at her and Sooyoung’s heart does a little flip at the smile. 

An hour or so later Sooyoung is finishing up cleaning the place up. It was close to quitting time for her. She usually tried to make the place spotless for Hani so the woman didn’t have to clean too much when she closed. Jinsoul would cheer her on as she swept and mopped making her smile and laugh along with the blonde. 

Putting down the broom she skips towards the blonde on the stool and sits beside her leaning her elbows back onto the counter. Jinsoul only smirks at her and leans forward to speak in her ear, “Soobunny will you come home with me tonight?” Sooyoung ignores the tightness in her stomach from the wording of the question and nods. She didn’t feel like going all the way home anyways. Jinsoul giggles again and rests her forehead on her chest.

Sooyoung laughs too, “why are you so giggly tonight?” Jinsoul shrugs and pulls back only to lean back into her. Sooyoung doesn’t move an inch even though Jinsoul brings her face dangerously close. Swallowing the nerves down she watches as Jinsoul brings her eyes down to her lips and back up to her eyes.

Jinsoul licks her lips before she answers, “because I’m happy.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and turns to look at everything but Jinsoul. The blonde nudges her with her shoulder making her close her eyes. Jinsoul was too much to handle sometimes. “You make me happy is that so wrong?” Sooyoung shakes her head and smiles at Jinsoul, in turn the girl just lays her head against her own. 

“Awwww you guys are so cute!” Sooyoung narrows her eyes at the voice and stands up when she sees it’s a regular. Jinsoul pouts at her since she lost her personal pillow but quickly becomes distracted by the person in front of them. The lady smiles and wiggles her finger in between them, “you guys bean flickers?” Sooyoung turns pale white.

Jinsoul makes her even more embarrassed, “huh? No I don’t really like beans.”

“Shut up Jinsoul.” She says to the girl behind her.

The lady chuckles and slaps her on the shoulder, “oh Sooyoung don’t be so shy in front of your boo thang it’s just me!” Maybe Sooyoung wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out but the hand gripping at the fabric of her uniform was telling her different.

“Kay Oss what you doing?” Hani calls out and the woman immediately forgets about them or at least that’s what she thinks.

Kay Oss shuffles up to the counter and sighs, “oh nothing I was just talking to the little gay girls can I get a black coffee?” Sooyoung stumbles back on to the stool. She’s shaking a bit since the thought of her and Jinsoul being mistaken as lovers is making her brain short circuit. Jinsoul doesn’t seem to be phased. Maybe she didn’t understand what was being said.

“Right…how was work tonight?” Kay Oss groans and slams some change on the counter. 

The woman shakes her mess of hair a bit and puts a hand on her hip. “Awful I had a man ask me to fuck him drag!” Hani frowns and nods as she’s pouring out the coffee. Sooyoung shakes her head when Jinsoul looks at her with a confused expression. Kay Oss was a drag queen at night, a tool store manager by day. The woman would always come in late at night for a black coffee and conversation.

“Do you know how limp my dick is after a tucking?” Jinsoul widens her eyes and buries her face into Sooyoung’s chest to muffle her laugh. “I still gave him a blow job though for fifty bucks.” Hani shakes her head and hands her the coffee.

“What did I tell you about prostitution?”

Kay Oss sips the hot coffee before replying, “that a dollar is a dollar but sometimes it isn’t worth a swalla.” Sooyoung bites her lips as Jinsoul wheezes into the fabric of her shirt. Hani and Kay Oss’s conversations were always interesting but Jinsoul seemed to find them hilarious. The drag queen says her good byes and makes her way out.

Hani sighs and slaps on the table, “right well you can head out with your girlfriend Sooyoung I’ll clock you out.” Jinsoul who was still laughing suddenly stops and raises up. 

“Hani um…” Sooyoung is dragged out of the diner though without correcting the woman. Jinsoul is pulling on her a little too hard on their way to the girl’s jeep. 

Once they’re settled in Sooyoung apologizes as Jinsoul’s pushing her into the vehicle. Was Jinsoul mad? Sooyoung waits for the girl to get in the jeep too but when the blonde hops in with the biggest smile on her face she knows there’s nothing wrong. Still she apologizes. It must make Jinsoul uncomfortable. “I’m sorry she thought we were dating I mean she knows I’m gay or whatever but-.”

“Sooyoung it’s fine really, I get mistaken as Jackson’s girlfriend all the time and I’d rather be put with you than him.” She knows she shouldn’t take it so seriously but nevertheless her heart races at the fact that Jinsoul puts her above Jackson. 

The blonde winks at her and starts the jeep. The summer has barely started but Sooyoung knows it’s going to be a good one. She has a feeling that Jinsoul is going to be around a lot. The blonde has already surprised her so much and she really can’t wait for me. Smiling she just sits back and enjoys the ride.

Sooyoung is still awestruck from the size of Jinsoul’s house. The house was in a secluded part of town and had trees and fields surrounding it. There was even a beautiful garden in the back yard. The darkness around made the home look a little spooky and Sooyoung got chills from it. As she was getting out she notices Kirby is not in the driveway. Chaewon must be out getting into mischief as always.

Jinsoul leads them to the front door and starts to open it, “wait are your parents’ home?” Jinsoul shakes her head and smiles sweetly at her. Jinsoul’s parents for some reason weren’t fans of her. It wasn’t like she was fans of them either. They’ve never clicked and often Jinsoul and Chaewon would stay over at their house instead when their parents came home. Sooyoung remembers how mad Dr. Jung would get.

One day though only Chaewon stayed over, then it became a common occurrence. Sooyoung wonders what Jinsoul did all those years. The younger blonde had her own bed in Yerim and Hyejoo’s room. Jinsoul always slept with her but after she stopped coming over Sooyoung wonders if Jinsoul was home alone all the time. Their parents rarely came in. 

Sooyoung hasn’t been in this house for a while now. Maybe a few months. It was a last option for Chaewon since she hated home. Jinsoul lets her in and Sooyoung sighs at how dark and cold it is in here. “Hmm are you usually alone?” The blonde walks past her after locking the door behind her and puts her bags down.

She watches Jinsoul take her shoes off, “yeah I don’t think Chaewon has stayed in weeks. She’s been staying over at friends.” Sooyoung frowns. Did Jinsoul always come home to a dark and cold place? It must be quite lonely and scary especially for a young girl. Jinsoul gestures for her to follow her to the basement were the party room and laundry was. Sooyoung shivers as she slowly descends the steps, Jinsoul only has her phone flash light on.

When they’re down the blonde turns the lights on and Sooyoung looks around. This place was made for kids but it was dusty from the avoidance. Jinsoul and Chaewon never really invited friends over. They didn’t have many to begin with. Chaewon seemed to be getting more now though. “Here I’ll wash your clothes while you shower.” 

Sooyoung is paralyzed, Jinsoul was holding her hands out and waiting. “You want me to get naked?” Jinsoul nods and smiles.

The blonde rolls her eyes when Sooyoung doesn’t budge and moves forward to undo the buttons to her uniform. “It’s not like I’ve seen it all before Sooyoung.” She guesses she can agree but still it’s nerve wracking. Pushing Jinsoul’s hands off she starts to rip her clothes off and the blonde grabs a towel from the dryer. When Sooyoung is stripped she lays her clothes on top the washing machine she grabs the towel to quickly cover herself. She ignores how Jinsoul was staring down south. 

She stands there for a second before Jinsoul shoos her off, telling her that she’ll get her some clothes after she’s finished.

Jinsoul watches Sooyoung shuffle away. The way she waddled around was cute. Looking at the dirty laundry Jinsoul internally battles with herself. She could be a decent human being or she could divulge in a guilty pleasure of hers. 

Her selfish side wins and she lifts Sooyoung undershirt and brings it to her face. It smells mostly like food and not like Sooyoung. She knows what Sooyoung smells like, it was like sweat and sunscreen most the time. Sometimes it was something that Jinsoul couldn’t describe. Throwing it in the wash since it wasn’t what she wanted she picks up the small uniform dress that Sooyoung looked cute in and throws it as well along with the apron.

Next the socks and Jinsoul notices the last item. Sooyoung didn’t wear a bra usually. She didn’t have to. Her breast sit nicely and they weren’t big. Jinsoul remembers how they felt against her when she hugged Sooyoung. Now Jinsoul was having a stare down with Sooyoung’s panties. “No please don’t…” Jinsoul tells herself. She really shouldn’t but she really wants to.

One time couldn’t hurt could it? Bundling up the underwear she brings it close to her face. Jinsoul shivers a bit, she doesn’t understand how someone could smell this good especially the…dirtiest places. “…ah haha wow.” Bring them closer the blonde curses when she inhales again. Jinsoul closes her eyes and forces herself to throw them in the wash. “You’re such a pervert Jinsoul.” She mumbles to herself and starts the wash. Jinsoul was trying to ignore the pressure in her stomach.

Sooyoung loved Jinsoul’s shower it was a super fancy walk in one. She might have spent a little too long in there but the shower head had seven different settings and was detachable. There was a small bench on the side and all of it was glossy marble. Finishing up she takes advantage of all the nice facial products Jinsoul has and the lotions. It was safe to say Sooyoung was in heaven since it was lucky to be able to get a shower in every day in a house full of women and only one functional half shower. 

Shaking the water out of her hair she knows she’s been gone long when she sees her fingers have shriveled up and was slow putting all the after shower stuff. Walking to Jinsoul’s room she stops in her tracks. Jinsoul was sitting on the side of her bed. Sooyoung could tell something was up by the way Jinsoul was sitting so perfectly still. The blonde’s face was flushed too. “What were you doing?” 

Jinsoul looks at her and the blush on her cheeks and neck gets redder. “Nothing I was just getting ready for bed.” Sooyoung narrows her eyes at the girl nervously bouncing her leg. Jinsoul had some cute pajamas on, it was space pants and a NASA t-shirt. Sooyoung just shrugs her shoulders and moves to the pile of clothes on the end of the bed that she assumed was hers. 

She carefully watches Jinsoul as she pulls the clothes on making sure she keeps her eyes to herself. Sooyoung almost wanted Jinsoul to look but the blonde keeps her gaze toward the floor. Pulling on her shirt she opts out on not putting on the pants and crawls in the king sized bed. The walls to Jinsoul’s room were black and grey. For such a bright personality Jinsoul sure did like dull colors. 

Most of it was covered by posters and stuff though and the ceiling was painted like the night sky. Her bed was filled with pillows and stuffed animals and it was probably the most comfortable bed Sooyoung’s ever been in. Jinsoul had a huge window on the side with a desk and a complicated looking telescope. There was also this big computer and a few machines Sooyoung didn’t understand. On the other side was a shelf full of comics, manga, and Gundam models. Jinsoul also had a bunch of old figurines.

It screamed spoiled but she knows in no way Jinsoul was spoon fed.

Falling over she lays flat on top the comforter. Looking to her side she spots a body pillow and goes to grab it until Jinsoul screams at her. “No wait not that one!” Sooyoung brings her hands back to her chest as Jinsoul flops over top of her and pushes the pillow off the side of the bed. Jinsoul is breathing hard and looks a little frazzled. Jinsoul lifts herself off and points to the side, “um I spilled milk on it.”

“You hate milk Jinsoul.”

The blonde rolls her eyes, “I meant Chaewon duh.” She’s suspicious but doesn’t say anything.

Sooyoung just snorts and pinches at the girl’s side. Jinsoul tries to swat the hand away but Sooyoung starts a tickle fight. She soon regrets it because she’s a lot more sensitive than Jinsoul and the blonde has overpowered her. Sooyoung is laughing so hard it hurts and she feels like her tummy is going to explode. Screaming she tries to kick Jinsoul away but the blonde is ruthless and she starts to cry she’s laughing so much. 

“S-STOP I’m gonna die!” She pleads but Jinsoul doesn’t slow down. After several long minutes of torture Jinsoul finally brings her hands back. Sooyoung is panting and making noisy sighs while holding on to her tummy. Her muscles were aching, “fuck don’t do that you brat.” She raises her hand and slaps Jinsoul’s shoulder and the girl pretends it hurts. Slowly she catches back up with her breath and gets the feeling back in her legs.

There was still a bit of pain in her abdomen but she thinks once she stretches out she’ll be fine. She’s had her eyes closed the whole time and when she opens them she knots her brows at Jinsoul’s face. The blonde is looking at something lower than her face and when she tilts her head down she kicks her right in the stomach. “Seriously Jinsoul? You’re like a teenage boy!” 

Covering up her nipples…which were poking through the thin t-shirt Jinsoul gave her she glares at the girl still gripping her tummy from the kick. “I can’t help it they were like, staring at me!” Sooyoung curses her overly sensitive anatomy and she guesses she can’t blame Jinsoul for getting distracted. It was really noticeable. 

Jinsoul then crawls off the bed to turn the lights on and Sooyoung screams when Jinsoul comes sprinting towards the bed and flies over and on top of her. Groaning at the weight that just fell on top of her she pushes the blonde off, “you’re heavy Jinsoul.”

She hears a grunt in the darkness, “you calling me fat?”

Laughing she reaches out for the girl and pat on whatever body part she can find, “no Jinsoul you are a twenty year old girl and like eighty percent pure muscle of course you’re going to be heavy.” Jinsoul whines and Sooyoung has to explain some more. 

“Then what’s the other twenty percent?” Sooyoung thinks for a moment and then scoots closer to Jinsoul they’re face to face both laying on their side. Her eyes were adjusted to the darkness now and there’s a great deal of moonlight coming from the window.

Sooyoung begins with a bit of a giggle, “it’s fat…” Jinsoul scoffs and Sooyoung reaches around to feel for the girl’s ass and when she finds it she makes sure to squeeze as hard as she can receiving a screech from the girl, “and it’s all right here baby.” Jinsoul pushes her hard making her roll over on her back and she starts to die laughing. Sooyoung doesn’t mind all the slaps she’s getting to her arm since she knows she deserved it.

Jinsoul whines out and slaps her again right on the tummy, “I cannot stand you!”

Sooyoung turns on her side again and brings Jinsoul back closer to her by pulling on her pajamas, “I don’t know how you’re laying down right now.” Jinsoul doesn’t get it but Sooyoung is having fun with all her stupid jokes. She’s laughing again and slapping on her own leg. The blonde lets her get it all out before she starts to softly mumble out.

“You know Sooyoung, I love your smile.” Wiping the tears from her eyes she smiles for Jinsoul. It’s the one she always gave people. But Jinsoul shakes her head as much as she can since both her hands were folded underneath it as she stared at Sooyoung. “No not that one. That’s the charming one. The one you use to make people fall for you.” Frowning she goes through all the smiles she has. But Jinsoul shakes her head at every one of them. “I love all of them but those are all made, there’s only one that you do without realizing it.”

Sooyoung quirks a brow, she wonders if Jinsoul’s eyes are that dark or if it’s just the lighting. “When you laugh or get really happy you’ll smile so big that your whole face scrunches up and you can see your bunny teeth.” Sooyoung hopes Jinsoul can’t hear her heart beating this hard because really it sounds like a steam engine inside her chest. “It’s my favorite thing in the world seeing you smile like that.”

Scooting closer to Jinsoul she tilts her head down a little and looks in the girl’s eyes. Jinsoul just giggles at her. The blonde then wraps her limps around Sooyoung’s body and pulls her in close. Sooyoung melts in her embrace and gets close as possible to Jinsoul loving the warmth and softness of the girl’s body. “We used to do this all the time remember? When I would stay over almost every night.” Sooyoung nods against her chest listening to the girl’s slow heartbeat.

It starts to pick up though, “I love you so much, thank you for forgiving me Sooyoung.” She just holds Jinsoul tighter since the girl is starting to shake in her arms. “I still can’t believe you did I thought I would never be able to hold you like this again.” Sooyoung would like to make a joke right now but Jinsoul sounds like she’s about to cry with the way she’s breathing heavily. “Just know that I never wanted to hurt you and every day I wish I could go back in time because now I know I should have picked you.”

Sooyoung pulls back and stares at Jinsoul’s face full of emotion. Unwrapping her arm she wipes at the stray tears falling from the girl’s eyes. Sooyoung doesn’t know what Jinsoul is talking about. She figures it’s about her friends. Sooyoung knows about peer pressures and the stress of having a lot of friends. She doesn’t understand why Jinsoul would pick popularity over their friendship, they were like family. “It’s okay Jinsoul we’re here now it’s a fresh start.”

Even though Sooyoung wishes Jinsoul didn’t do the things she did in the past, she was glad that she turned back around. It was better than never talking again. “I don’t want to start over with you I want to fix my mistakes not forget them.” Jinsoul jerks her face away from Sooyoung’s hands. “We were supposed to grow up together Sooyoung.” It breaks her heart, how much Jinsoul is battling with herself.

Grabbing her face Sooyoung pulls her close and Jinsoul claws at her back when she starts to sob. She knows she and Jinsoul were close but sometimes she felt as if there was something more between them. Sooyoung knew she was in love with her in a way. But she’d rather have a bit of Jinsoul than to lose her altogether by asking for more. Sometimes though, there was a deep feeling that told her Jinsoul wanted the same.

She always ignored it though. 

“You are fixing your mistakes now Jinsoul, you’ve already shown me so much.” Sooyoung’s neck is getting wet from all the tears. Rubbing down on the girl’s back she whispers out, “whatever it was back then, that made you do that I’m sure there was a reason. I just wish you would have told me because I would have tried to help you through it.” Sooyoung understands emotions and impulses can be difficult to deal with as a teenager. But if Jinsoul had told her maybe she could have found a solution. 

The blonde just cries harder and clings to her. Sooyoung holds her until she cries herself to sleep. She wonders if this is Jinsoul healing from the past. Like she was earlier. There were still untouched subjects and Sooyoung doesn’t know if they’ll ever be brought up. But she was fine with that. She would wait forever for Jinsoul. Even if she was waiting for nothing.

With that thought, Sooyoung found sleep as well.

…

Waking up in an empty bed is not unusual for Sooyoung but last night she had somebody tangled up with her. She was surprised Jinsoul didn’t wake her up when she got out of bed. Raising up she yawns and stretches out before getting out of the sheets. This was the best sleep she’s gotten in forever. 

Stretching some more she notices that Jinsoul has her some clothes laid out. Just a baseball tee and some shorts. She scavenges through Jinsoul’s vanity and throws on some lipstick and puts her hair half up with a scrunchie. She wonders what Jinsoul wanted to do today. They didn’t have practice nor a game and it was the weekend. Sooyoung hopes they can hang out. 

Skipping down the stairs she smiles when the smell hits her. Jinsoul was in the kitchen microwaving waffles. Slowly walking through she checks the blonde out. She looks like she was going somewhere. She had her Rolex on and some black cami jumpsuit that fit her in the right places. Jinsoul is getting a plate out of the microwave when she walks up behind her.

“Hey..” Jinsoul jumps and turns around to slap at her a bit. Sooyoung takes a moment to appreciate how beautiful Jinsoul is as she starts to mutter out her day's plans to her. Her shoulders and chest were exposed and Sooyoung appreciated the dip of her collarbones and how her neck was tense as she talked.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t fix breakfast I don’t have anything to cook with.” Sooyoung shrugs and reaches behind Jinsoul to grab a waffle but Jinsoul tries to stop her by grabbing onto it. “Wait they’re not done!”

Sooyoung glares at her, “leggo my eggo bitch.” Jinsoul lets go with a frown and Sooyoung starts to munch on it while continuing to swoon at how pretty Jinsoul looks today. The girl had on light makeup and her hair was in slight curls. “You look nice where you going?” 

Jinsoul seemed to be in a trance and breaks eye contact to shuffle past her totally ignoring the question and open up the fridge. Sooyoung’s chewing slowly comes to a stop when Jinsoul bends over to find something. “What do you want to drink we have…” Jinsoul starts to list things out but Sooyoung says no to all of them because she’s trying to buy time so she can remember how good Jinsoul’s ass looks right now. 

“Orange juice I know you love it?”

“No.”

Stepping forward she sees how she’d line up. Sooyoung has a little celebration in her mind when she figures out she wouldn’t have to tip toe or bend her knees if she were to ever fu-. “I don’t have anything else Sooyoung.” The blonde goes to raise up but Sooyoung quickly places a hand flat on her back and bends her back over.

“Just keep looking I’m sure you’ll find something.” Sooyoung takes another bite of waffle once Jinsoul says okay and the blonde goes quiet just shuffling through the packed fridge. Sooyoung wishes she could touch her but Jinsoul would probably get suspicious. Hovering a hand over the girl’s hip she starts to move her hips back and forth without bumping into her. 

Lifting a leg up and slightly leaning to her side she sees if it would still work that way. Smiling she finishes the waffle and hovers both her hands over Jinsoul. One at her hip and the other at her back. The blonde is now muttering to herself about juices. Sooyoung is worried about a different kind of juice. She would like to squeeze on Jinsoul all night she’s sure the girl is tasty.

Sooyoung tiptoes a bit and bites her lip, that would be the perfect way to have Jinsoul…she was just the perfect height. “Ah hah!” Sooyoung realizes there’s a better way to have Jinsoul when the girl arches her back to reach far into the fridge.

Shivering a bit she watches how the girl’s shoulder blades flex and her whole back curves making her ass bump into Sooyoung. “Fuck...” As soon as Jinsoul accidentally bumps into her Sooyoung groans under her breath but the blonde doesn’t hear it because the contact made her raise up and hit her head on the upper shelf of the fridge. 

Jinsoul backs up and Sooyoung quickly steps out of the way and bends down to grab an orange juice. Jinsoul scoffs at her while she rubs her head, “I thought you didn’t want OJ?” Sooyoung just gives her a smile.

When Jinsoul rolls her eyes Sooyoung shrugs and opens the cap, “changed my mind.” She starts chugging since she was suddenly thirst. It had nothing to do with how good Jinsoul looked or how smooth her skin seemed. Finishing the bottle she grabs another waffle.

Jinsoul raises a brow out her and points to her belly. “Those are getting nice.” Sooyoung looks down at her abs. She’s been dancing a bit more recently and running a lot more. She wasn’t eating as much either since she had put down the weed for the season. Her tummy was getting a little defined and she was surprised Jinsoul had noticed. 

Sooyoung is mostly joking when she asks, “you wanna touch them?”

Jinsoul nods without taking her eyes off her waist, “yes please.”

If she hadn’t already swallowed her food she would be choking. Putting down the eggo she shrugs and lifts her shirt a bit. Jinsoul’s hands come forward with hesitation and the girl pulls back but with a little encouragement from herself they come to lay flat on her tummy. Sooyoung’s muscles twitch under her touch and she makes sure to flex her abs. Jinsoul makes a surprised face when she does, “woah Sooyoung this is…cool.” She can’t help but snort at Jinsoul and lets the girl rub up and down on her. 

When Jinsoul starts to get a little too into it she pushes her off and grabs her waffle again. Jinsoul picks up a cup of coffee and starts to ramble on about something, “So I do Pilates at the gym. What do you do?” Sooyoung hops up on the counter as Jinsoul continues to talk about her vigorous workouts at the gym and her strict diet.

“I just go to dance practice and jog sometimes besides volleyball.” Jinsoul gives her a blank expression. Sooyoung never went to the gym. The blonde, however, had a private trainer. So it was only natural that she was jealous that Sooyoung looked that good. Sooyoung had to admit, she was pretty hot.

The blonde tilts her head, “maybe you should come with me sometime I bet you’d be good at it.” Sooyoung tells her she’ll think about it and Jinsoul walks up to her and grabs onto her thighs. Smiling Sooyoung throws her arms around the girl’s shoulders. 

“What?” She starts to swing her legs around and Jinsoul shakes her head.

Jinsoul is giving her this soft look when she asks, “Sooyoung do you remember me studying abroad last semester?” How could she forget? It was not even that long ago Jinsoul was miles away from her and Sooyoung wasn’t able to see her at all. Sooyoung was too afraid to call her too. So those several months Sooyoung had practically gone crazy. She fed off the FaceTime calls to Chaewon and the few pictures Jinsoul posted.

Nodding Jinsoul continues, “I have to go to a research meeting. I’m still an active intern there, today I’m giving an update on my data.” Sooyoung gets butterflies in her stomach. Jinsoul was really cute when she was being nerdy. “Will you wait for me? I’ll be a while but we can hang out tonight.” Sooyoung wants to scream out yes but she just quietly nods.

That’s when she notices Jinsoul’s necklaces. “Hey is that?” Jinsoul looks down and smiles and picks it up. It was just a short silver necklace that had small stars dangling off it. Sooyoung got it for Jinsoul for her 11th birthday. It made her heart flutter that the girl still had it.

“I wear it all the time but usually hide it under my shirt.” Jinsoul had a beautiful diamond necklace too. She wonders who got her that one. Jinsoul rubs on her legs some more before looking at her watch. “Dang I better go.” Jinsoul pulls herself away and pulls her hair back in a low pony tail. Sooyoung doesn’t want her to go. She wanted to keep Jinsoul to herself when she looked this pretty and was being this sweet. 

“Will you be okay by yourself here?” Sooyoung only shrugs and Jinsoul gives her one last longing look before heading out. Sooyoung watches her walk out, grabbing a lite coat and her keys. She hops off the counter and grabs another waffle before heading back to Jinsoul’s room. Throwing herself on the bed she notices how it squeaks. Laughing at herself she bounces up and down cracking up at the squeaking noises.

Rolling off she snoops around the room. Jinsoul was surprisingly neat, Sooyoung flips through all manga Jinsoul has and is shocked when a lot of them are…gay and some of them are even erotic. Maybe Jinsoul was curious. Moving to her desk with telescope Sooyoung yelps when she almost knocks the thing over while trying to look out of it.

All of the drawers were locked, Jinsoul was also private. Her computer was voice activated too so Sooyoung had no luck. She gives up and goes to lay back on the bed. Sooyoung scrolls on her phone for a while eventually getting bored. Kyungri had followed her on social media and maybe Sooyoung would hit her up sometime. She doubts it though since she was focused on Jinsoul right now.

She goes through the nightstand…nothing. She gets up and picks up the pillow Jinsoul had pushed off last night. Weird, it had no stains on it. Shrugging she tosses it back on the bed and goes to the closet. Jinsoul had a walk in closet so Sooyoung spent a great deal of time looking through it. Jinsoul had so many monotone colors. Looking at the girl’s shoes she frowns. Jinsoul had no shoe game.

Picking up the only shoe box she freezes when it rattles. Shaking it she listens to the objects fiddle around. Opening it up she wasn’t expecting shoes but she certainly didn’t expect what she found either. She grabs the dildo first and opens her mouth in surprise. Bringing it to her nose she’s disappointed when it smells like soap. There’s another smaller one inside as well. There was also a tiny vibrator inside too. 

Closing the box she sits it down and makes her way back to the bed and lays down. Sooyoung doesn’t know why she’s so surprised at Jinsoul box of fun, the girl probably had even slept with people before. The thought makes her jealous she can’t really help it. She tries to ignore the fact Jinsoul’s probably had someone in this bed before.

Forgetting about the other people she just thinks of Jinsoul herself. Sure Sooyoung had her fantasies but Jinsoul’s never really been a sexual person. Only making dirty jokes here and there. It was hard to imagine the girl actually divulging in pleasure.

Sooyoung huffs and turns on her belly. She starts to have intruding thought of Jinsoul touching herself. She wonders who she thinks about, whose name she breathes out when she cums. Sooyoung wonders if Jinsoul thought of anyone at all. It was probably that boy she talked about at the tournament. The one that Jinsoul thought was cute or whatever. 

Her eyes closed and she starts to visualize it. Sooyoung thinks Jinsoul would be whiny, maybe really loud. Or maybe she would be the type to whimper and quietly moan out. Sooyoung doesn’t know which is better. It could even be both. “Jesus Crist.” Sooyoung knows Jinsoul’s deep voice would make her name sound good. She would like to hear her name rolling off the girl’s tongue. 

Tossing over she grabs her phone and starts typing. Jinsoul is all in her head. The girl late at night trying to keep the moans in as she would fuck herself. Sooyoung thinks about how Jinsoul’s body looks when it’s exhausted and drenched with sweat. It’s what drives her over the edge and press dial on a number.

Half an hour later she’s in the back of Kyungri’s Nissan getting her neck and chest kissed on. Sooyoung knows she’ll be fine as soon as she gets these frustrations out. The only reason she was thinking of Jinsoul this way was that she hasn’t came in over three weeks. She had to get off or it was gonna get bad and she didn’t want to end up messing things up with her ‘best friend.’

Once she got a good fuck in her system she could be the greatest friend Jinsoul’s ever asked for. Right now she needed to forget about Jinsoul because her shirt was being pulled off by a really sexy girl. Sooyoung was a bit annoyed though, “can you put something else on?” The girl had lady gaga blasting. It made her feel like she was at some school dance.

Kyungri licks around her nipple before asking, “what you don’t like starstruck?” No she loved the song but the cd was messed up and the song would play over and over again. Sooyoung is about to tell her but instead she moans when the girl wraps her lips around her bud. Threading her hands through the girl’s hair she pants at the hot tongue flat on her nipple.

She sucks air through her teeth when Kyungri bites down hard on her tit and starts to pull her shorts off. “Hey I told you no hickies,” Kyungri smirks at her and continues to suck on the side of her breast while rubbing her through her panties. Sooyoung starts to lose herself in the feeling and grinds into the girl’s hand, “fuck will you hurry up?” She needed to be touched now but Kyungri was teasing her and when she protested it got even worse.

The girl rolls her eyes and kisses all over Sooyoung’s body. But Sooyoung is thankful when she doesn’t suck on her skin anymore. Her panties or really Jinsoul’s panties were getting ruined if Kyungri kept rubbing her like that she was gonna cum from the sensations on her clit and from the girl’s lips on her tummy. “Are you gonna fuck me good? I know you’ve wanted to for a while.” Kyungri looks up from where she was nibbling on the side of her hip.

Sooyoung jerks them up when Kyungri’s thumb presses hard into her swollen nub. When she starts to buck her hips up in the air the girl’s thumb comes off and Sooyoung can’t help but groan out in frustration. If she knew she was gonna be teased like this she would have just done it herself back at Jinsoul’s place with one of the girl’s toys. Finally Kyungri starts to pull her panties down while swirling her tongue on her tummy.

Sooyoung watches her muscles twitch underneath the girl’s lips. She didn’t like having car sex in the middle of the day like this but Kyungri had their shirts hung up blocking the windows and a sun protector up too. They were behind the train station where a lot of people didn’t go.

She can tell how wet she is by how soaked the panties are. Kyungri bites her lips at the site of her spreading her legs more. Kyungri seems to like dirty talk so Sooyoung makes her voice a little whiny, “You like what you see baby?” The girl slowly nods and bends down to nip at her inner thighs. Sooyoung braces herself by throwing her hand back onto the car door when Kyungri finally sticks her tongue inside. Cursing she looks down into the girl’s seductive eyes as she’s sucking right on her pussy. It’s driving her a little crazy.

All the noises are turning Sooyoung on more and the girl is literally _eating_ her out. It wasn’t the timid licks and clit sucking as usual Kyungri was slurping on her in a way that made her eyes roll to the back of her head. The girl had a fat tongue too so every time she laid it flat on her clit she’d shake a little bit and lift her hips some more. Sooyoung whines at the pleasure and one of her legs twitches making Kyungri lift it up in the air while the other one was pinned down underneath the girl’s body. 

Soon Kyungri lift both her legs in the air and deeply tongue fucks her every time she kisses it slowly, “ _god don’t stop_.” Kyungri moans and it makes Sooyoung’s body jerk, she’s never been ate out like this. The girl is almost nodding her head as she shoves her tongue between Sooyoung bottom lips. “ _Please keep sucking my pussy just like that_!” Kyungri stops with her tongue and starts to use her lips instead.

There’s no better feeling than getting your clit suck on Sooyoung thinks, she wonders how good Jinsoul would be at. Opening her eyes from where they were scrunched close in please she raises up and screams, “NO!”

Kyungri stops from where she was wiggling her tongue inside and pulls back afraid, “what? Is there something wrong?” Sooyoung blinks at the girl and shakes her head and lays back down. Kyungri seems a little freaked out and goes back to work. She’s swirling her tongue around in circles and letter. Giving Sooyoung brain like NYU. 

Digging her fingers through the girl’s hair she starts to grind her pussy into the girl’s lips that went back to sucking on her clit. Sooyoung like that the most and she were almost sensitive from how much her clits been toyed around with. She wasn’t going to complain though because she was close. Kyungri’s hands grip tighter on the back of her thighs and Sooyoung’s knees are spread out in the air. 

Flexing her tummy she moans out, “ _you want me to cum in your mouth_?” Kyungri groans into her and the vibrations make Sooyoung twitch. Her legs are starting shake but the girl keeps them in position. Kyungri latches onto her clit and sucks hard and it makes Sooyoung almost black out, “then _don’t…oh fuck i-_.” It was rapidly approaching her and her body felt lighter by the second while her pussy was throbbing painfully.

Sooyoung screams when it hits her and slightly raises up and pulls the girl’s hair out. Kyungri just keeps kissing on her, licking up all the cum that leaks out. She wants to scream again but it just comes out as a deep sigh and a bit of a wheeze. When she’s finished releasing all her…stuff she pushes the girl’s head away.

Kyungri’s lips and chin is covered with her pussy juice and it grosses her out a little bit. Things were always gross after you came. The girl raises up and leans forward to kiss Sooyoung but she just backs away and crosses her arms, “I don’t kiss.”

The girl narrows her eyes and shrugs, licking her lips clean herself. Sooyoung watches as the girl digs through her bag and pulls out a purple strap on out. “You still want this right? You asked for it on the phone.” Sooyoung thinks it’s a stupid question. Of course she still wanted to get dicked down. Nodding her head with an attitude Kyungri giggles, “You’re a bit of a brat aren’t you.” 

“It’s usually asshole or bitch.” She mumbles out bored like.

Kyungri smirks and starts to pull the harness on. “Nah you’re too cute to be an asshole and I don’t like fucking bitches.” 

Sooyoung’s head is grabbed suddenly as Kyungri sits down on the seat and the dildo was standing tall, “I love breaking a brat, they’re always fun especially when they got a mouth like yours.” Sooyoung gives the girl a death glare and tries to break free from the tight grip Kyungri’s got on her hair. “I ain’t got lube you’re gonna have to get this wet yourself.” 

Huffing she complains, “I am not putting my mouth anywhere near that.” 

The girl shrugs and shoves her face down closer, “I boiled the shit before I came now suck it slut.” Sooyoung shudders at the rough treatment but she can’t help but get incredibly turned on from it. Kyungri’s aggression was surprising and she was definitely a keeper. Sooyoung doesn’t think she’s been this horny since…well never. 

Kyungri still has her hair gripped in her fist and it hurts like hell but Sooyoung doesn’t mind. Spitting on the tip of the strap she takes her hand that’s not resting on the girl’s thigh to spread it all over the length. Opening her mouth and sticking her tongue out she doesn’t have time to go at her own pace because Kyungri is shoving the plastic down her throat.

When she gags as it hits the back of her throat it quickly comes back out. Sooyoung is breathing a little hard and there are tears in her eyes. “Can you deep throat?” Sooyoung wants to shake her head no but the way she clenched every time it hit deep was telling her she should lie. Wrapping her lips around it again she waits for Kyungri to start pushing it in again.

When she does Sooyoung claws into the girl’s thigh and squeezes her eyes shut as the tip repeatedly hits the back of her throat. She’s making embarrassing choking noises and gags. Kyungri pulls her away again and Sooyoung swallows and gasps out.

Kyungri only slips the tip in again and pokes it in the side of her mouth and her cheek gets slapped. Sooyoung winces at the tiny slaps to her face while the strap is inside and Kyungri pushes it all the way in one last time. Sooyoung whines when her head is pulled up, “You’re such a liar but you liked that didn’t you?” Sooyoung nods the best she can since her hair is still being pulled out. 

Sooyoung scoffs and grinds her teeth when Kyungri pulls out lube from her bag. “Told you, I like a mouth with an attitude.” Sooyoung wipes at her mouth as Kyungri gets the strap ready and slaps on her legs. “Come sit on it girl, I know you want to.” Rolling her eyes Sooyoung turns her body around and grabs onto the front seats.

Kyungri helps her maneuver and get herself situated on the strap, lowering herself down she moans and winces. She can’t help but clench her jaw at the feeling of her pussy being stretched out. Kyungri slaps on her ass when she’s halfway down and finally, she just falls and moans at the fullness. Slowly she starts to bounce up and down, the length is just right and it’s filling her up just the way she wants it. 

Sooyoung starts to grind, the movement making her belly ache and her body sweat. Soon the feeling of being ripped open is replaced with pleasurable friction and Sooyoung starts to ride and bounce harder. Kyungri leans forward in her seat to grab at her bouncing titties. Sooyoung whimpers as the girl pinches on one of her nipples and she throws her head back onto the girl's shoulder. If she had nails she’d be ripping up Kyungri’s car seats right now because the feeling of her nipples being touched was so good.

Soft lips kiss up and down her neck while hands lay flat against her hip and stomach. Kyungri moves her hand lower and bites down hard on her neck making Sooyoung moan and buckle her knees together, “you feel it right her baby?” Sooyoung nods and chokes out another moan. It felt Kyungri was in her guts right now, or maybe it’s because she hasn’t ever been fucked like this. 

The girl laughs and leans back into the seat again but not before slapping Sooyoung’s ass. Sooyoung gets to have her fun for only a few more minutes before Kyungri grabs onto her hips and starts to jackhammer into her. Hanging her head down low she can only scream and lift herself up as her insides get destroyed. The whole car is bouncing and she has a death grip on the seats.

Kyungri doesn’t slow down one bit and continues to thrust her hips up, panting from the exhaustion. When the clapping noises stop that’s when Sooyoung finally breathes. If the girl did that again she was definitely going to cum. “Don’t stop riding me.” Sooyoung is reminded with a slap to her ass and she starts to move her hips again but in a messier manner.

She felt ruined but good at the same time. Sooyoung knew she wouldn’t be able to walk for a few hours. Sooyoung is barely giving enough time before she’s getting pounded again. Screaming out she folds her knees together and waits for it to stop. Her wetness is making sounds and Sooyoung doesn’t even want to describe them. It was like her pussy was silly putty and Kyungri was shaping it in into mush.

Suddenly the pounding stops and Sooyoung is thrown off. “wha-why’d you stop fucking me?” Kyungri shrugs and flips her over on her belly. Sooyoung is pushed down and her hips are lifted up in the air and Kyungri makes her get on her knees. Sooyoung peaks behind her and watches as a girl leans to her side and props her leg up on the armrest console. The girl is taller so she’s hunched over.

“Any requests before I fuck you stupid?” Sooyoung is panting and little delirious from the fucking before and she shakes her head. 

Kyungri puts a hand on her lower back and slides the tip back into her wet pussy when she thinks of something horrible. Really it’s because she’s in the moment right now and afterwards, she’ll probably want to jump off a bridge. Kyungri’s voice was deep but it wasn’t deep as Jinsoul’s and it didn’t have that funny tone to it. But maybe…just maybe, “can you call me bunny?” If she called her that it would sound like…her.

Sooyoung felt a little sick in the head but everywhere else was on fire. “Bunny?” Sooyoung nods and prepares herself. Her arm is grabbed and pinned behind her back while another hand grips her hair. Sooyoung opens her mouth wide when the strap in slammed inside her but her voice strains as she tries to scream out. She only has one arm brace herself. 

Kyungri doesn’t slow down one bit and if anything she keeps going faster and faster. The girl’s hips are snapping into her ass and hurts Sooyoung a lot because she doesn’t have a lot of cushion for the pushing. So she just takes it the best she can because the feeling inside it just a good.

Her hair is pulled harder and she moans out. Kyungri adds onto the effect when she groans out, “you like being fucked like this bunny?” Sooyoung nods and arches her back for the girl and she smiles when Kyungri moans out. Her arm and hair are let go and her hips are grabbed and Kyungri pulls them back and forth while thrusting on her own. The impact makes loud slapping noises and the aggressive pace makes Sooyoung squeal out. 

Gripping on the seat she buries her face in it, the car is shaking back and forth now, “ _don’t stop Ji…Just don’t stop please!”_ Kyungri leans over top of her and wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her like that. Sooyoung reaches around to grab at the girl’s legs begging her to keep going. Sooyoung shivers when Kyungri bites at her ear while panting into it. Sooyoung tries to pull away but her hair is tugged again and now she’s stuck in place completely submitted to the girl on top of her. She likes rough sex, she always has but she’s never been treated like this.

Kyungri pulls out of her and reaches down to slap the dildo against her pussy. Every time she hits her clit Sooyoung whines out. Kyungri is giggling in her ear as Sooyoung tries to push it back in bobbing her ass all over the place. Her body was screaming for it. She needed to be fucking right now or she was going to go crazy. “I want you to beg for it.” Sooyoung starts to beg, it’s almost pathetic but the empty feeling inside her and the intense knots in her tummy were making it hard to resist.

When the length is shoved back inside her she sighs out in relief and Kyungri starts a torturous pace. It’s hard and slow and it’s ripping her apart. But it’s all too good. The girl’s sweaty body on top of her while she pants in her ear. Her overly sensitive body was finally being taken care of. Every time Kyungri hit deep inside it relieved that pressure and it almost tipped her over the edge. She just needed one push. For Kyungri to fuck her deep and get her in one of her sweet spots. Whether it be her g-spot or clit, “ _d-deeper I need to feel you!”_

Sooyoung can feel the girl smile against the side of her face and she pushes in as deep as she can and keeps it there while only thrusting in and out a little bit at a hard pace. “Like this bunny?” Sooyoung moans and clenches around the length. This was exactly what she wanted. The sound of their skin slapping just drove her crazier and she could hear how wet her pussy was and her heart was ramming inside her chest every time she was called bunny.

She can feel her orgasm coming, by the way, her walls are throbbing and her legs are shaking. It’s like she’s being pumped full of pleasure and any moment she was going to pop. “ _god can you touch it_!” She’s not a specific request but Kyungri knows what she means and goes to fumble around her pussy until she finds her clit. When fingertips come in contact with her bundle of nerves she flattens out but Kyungri keeps fucking her and Sooyoung has no choice but to arch her back and stick her ass up.

“Are you gonna cum for me bunny?” Sooyoung whimpers and finally she gets the release she’s been chasing for. Panting out she cringes at how there are wet noises now when Kyungri slows her pumps down. Just barely thrusting into her. “Fuck bunny.” Sooyoung cringes at the name now and tells the girl to stop. She’s so embarrassed but the way Kyungri said it was making her see the stars.

She’s left to ride her orgasm out peacefully and she wiggles around at the cum dripping down her leg. It takes a while for the pulsing to stop and Sooyoung feels lite like a heavy weight had been lifted off of her. Sooyoung smiles as she starts to buzz with pleasure. “Can you get a towel or something?” Kyungri pulls out of her and Sooyoung whimpers at the lost feeling and leans up to grab the towel the girl hands her.

The cleanup is awkward. Just them wiping the sweat and other liquids up. Sooyoung could tell Kyungri kinda wanted head in return but she really didn’t feel like it anymore. She had gotten her two orgasms, now she just wanted to go back to Jinsoul’s and watch a movie. Sooyoung is pulling on her clothes when Kyungri asks, “was it good?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, it was amazing thanks.” Kyungri smiles as she pulls her hair back. Getting out of the car Sooyoung pulls her hair back into a half ponytail. It was hot out and it didn’t help that Sooyoung was already overheated. Looking at the vehicle she cringes at how fogged up it is. Getting back into the passenger seat she flares her nose up at the smell.

Kyungri also visibly tenses. Sooyoung tells her to take her back to Jinsoul’s and waits for the girl to take off but she never does, “so um…” Sooyoung closes her eyes. This was the part she hated the most about hookups. The questions of _are we something_ or _so now what_ came up. “Can we keep this a secret I have a girlfriend.” Sooyoung’s eyes fly back open and she turns to the girl. Kyungri looks incredibly guilty and now thinking of it there was a common girl in all of Kyungri’s pictures.

“It’s just we’re having trouble right now and you’re really hot.” Sooyoung nods and tells her she’ll keep her mouth shut. Kyungri brings her to a drive through and Sooyoung is too sweaty and tired to eat so she gets Jinsoul something instead. The girl talks about her relationship problems on the way back and Sooyoung doesn’t really listen. She’s wondering how Jinsoul’s meeting went. 

Pulling into the driveway Sooyoung waves goodbye to Kyungri and gives her a cheek kiss. The girl thanks her and then suddenly notices something. Sooyoung turns and her smile drops when Jinsoul is staring right at them. The girl must have just gotten home to. Sooyoung quickly gets out and chases after Jinsoul who was running inside. Sooyoung doesn’t know why the girl slams the door in her face.

Nor why she looked like she was going to cry when they locked eyes right after Sooyoung kissed Kyungri on the cheek.

Banging on the door she calls out, “Jinsoul what the fuck?!” Suddenly the door opens up and her work uniform is pushed onto her. Jinsoul throws the rest of it out and slams the door back in her face. Sooyoung looks at the outfit in her hands and mutters out, “but I got you a milkshake.”

What did she do this time?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yves um..okay so I know this story is very slow but for real im having lots of fun. Next few chapters is just yvesoul being bros with some gay shiz going on. I kinda like this really slow and bad plot progression pace. But I hope you guys like it as well!


	9. Animal crackers

It only takes Sooyoung a few minutes to react. She stared at the white door that was slammed in her face before coming up with a plan. Huffing out she turns and walks back to Kyungri’s car. Opening the car door she rolls her eyes at the concerned voice, “everything good? You need me to take you somewhere else?” Grabbing the food she ignores the girl’s questions and closes the door back. 

Kyungri stares at the retreating figure and then shrugs. “I’ll call her some time I guess.” Sooyoung hears the car drive off and sits the food down on the patio before trying the windows around the house. They’re all locked and she can’t spot Jinsoul anywhere. Circling around the house she looks up at the window to Jinsoul’s room. She could climb up to the roof and walk towards the window but it could be also locked.

Sooyoung guesses she’ll take the risk rather than having Jinsoul mad at her for whatever reason. She jogs towards the back and takes a quick look at the garden. It seemed like Jinsoul had it as beautiful as ever. Shaking the gutter a bit she’s thankful it’s sturdy and begins her ascent. It’s a bit tough since her shoes are slippery but eventually, she makes it to the ledge and grabs on. 

Maneuvering over she pulls herself up and rolls out breathing heavy from exhaustion. It was way easier when she was younger and could climb like a spider monkey. Now she was older and heavier, not really having that weird kid strength. “I’m going to kill her.” She mumbles to herself before getting up. Sooyoung holds her arms out for balance and scurry’s toward the huge window. When she crawls up to it she frowns when she notices Jinsoul sitting on her bed back facing the window.

The girl’s body is slumped and Sooyoung can tell she has her face buried in her hands. Banging on the glass she watches Jinsoul’s shoulders jump. The blonde turns around and Sooyoung narrows her eyes at the girl. “Open the fuck up!” Jinsoul stares at her not moving with an unreadable expression. Sooyoung throws her head back and looks up at the sky. She was starting to sweat since it was blistering hot today. 

Smiling when she hears the latch she glances down at Jinsoul fumbling to get the window open. Sooyoung knew Jinsoul wasn’t that mad at her. Hunching over to crawl in since it only opened a bit at the bottom she slips in and avoids Jinsoul’s desk. Once she’s in Sooyoung falls to the cool carpet and sighs finally relaxing. Opening her eyes she stares up at Jinsoul who looked a bit confused.

Sooyoung remembers how Jinsoul likes her voice. Jinsoul always liked it when she spoke lower, “come down here please Jinsoul.” She’s laid out flat on the floor and as Jinsoul bends down she shoots up and grabs the blonde by the neck and pulls her to the ground. Sooyoung is laughing as she gets Jinsoul in a headlock and pins her to the carpet. 

Jinsoul struggles a bit and Sooyoung waits for her to stop squirming around before she starts to talk. “What the fuck was that at the door?” Sooyoung isn’t pissed really. Just confused on why Jinsoul got mad at her. She wasn’t going to pussyfoot around the girl anymore and ask what’s wrong or beg her for explanations she was gonna force them out. She was tired of Jinsoul tying a string around her and not telling her where the knot was.

The blonde whines and then gives up on trying to break free, “nothing.” 

Sooyoung makes her hold tighter, “bullshit you gave me that evil look and slammed the door in my face, that shit isn’t just nothing.” 

It’s quiet for a moment until Jinsoul whispers out, “okay maybe I was a bit upset.”

“Why?” Sooyoung asks immediately after. What could Jinsoul possibly upset about?

Jinsoul sniffles a bit and the tone of her voice makes Sooyoung melt, “I thought you would be waiting inside and I was really excited, but you were out with some girl the whole time I was thinking about you at the meeting.” Letting the girl’s head go she backs away and sits on the floor. Jinsoul rubs where she was being suspended and sits up as well.

Sooyoung is starting to get annoyed with Jinsoul, if she was going to be like this over some girl then Sooyoung had to do some thinking. “So you don’t want me hanging out with other people?” 

Jinsoul shakes her head quickly and puts her hands up, “no I um…listen I don’t care really I promise. The meeting was stressful and I just overreacted okay?” 

“Yeah it was a bit more than an overreaction.” Jinsoul gives her the saddest look imaginable and Sooyoung knows her irritation with the blonde isn’t going to last long. When it was with Haseul it was cute but this time it left a sour taste in Sooyoung’s mouth. Jinsoul was wanting a little too much control over her. 

The blonde drops her head, “I’m sorry Sooyoung please don’t be mad at me.” Sooyoung narrows her eyes but doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t want to forgive Jinsoul just yet. But when Jinsoul looks back up and her eyes are a bit darker than before it changes her mind quickly, “I can’t help but be selfish and want you all to myself.”

The statement ignites a different kind of irritation within Sooyoung. She knows she got her shit rocked in the back of a 2008 Nissan Altima but Jinsoul’s innocent words spoken in such a suggestive tone made her want it again as if she hadn’t gotten her urges out just an hour ago. But Sooyoung reminds herself that this is Jinsoul and sometimes her deep voice makes things seem underlying when they’re not. “W-what?”

Jinsoul seems embarrassed, “I mean you’re my best friend but I guess I have the share right?” Sooyoung shrugs still a little shaken from Jinsoul’s possessiveness. “I’ll work on it for you, I’m sure your…friend is really nice.” Jinsoul gives her a forced smile and Sooyoung picks herself up off the floor before helping Jinsoul up as well. She guesses she’ll forget about the little stunt Jinsoul pulled and squeezes onto the girl’s hands tightly.

“I’m just afraid of you okay?” Sooyoung admits. Jinsoul has never been a jealous type until, well now. And that time in high school but Sooyoung understood it then. Now she didn’t, it was so confusing to her. “I don’t want you cutting me off again for something I did.” Jinsoul’s confused expression turns into one full of regret. “So when you do get upset with me I want you to tell me no matter how ridiculous it is,” Sooyoung refers to the event that just happened. “Because I’ll try to make it better okay?” 

Jinsoul opens her mouth to speak but nothing come out and suddenly Sooyoung is being pulled into a tight hug. Sooyoung hovers her hands over Jinsoul’s waist for a moment before she wraps her arms around it. Resting her chin on the girl’s shoulder she thinks to herself that she’s going to have to get used to this again. Jinsoul actually wanting her, instead of hating her and wanting her to disappear. Or whatever feelings Jinsoul had for her all those years.

“I’m sorry for making you feel that way Sooyoung. I’m not lying when I told you I’d never let you go again.” Sooyoung wants an elaboration but she knows Jinsoul wouldn’t tell her now so she lets it slide. Just like all the other things Jinsoul’s done to her. Because all in all she loves her and she never wants to lose Jinsoul. 

They make-up a little longer. Sooyoung appreciating all the apologies and kisses to her face. She scrunches one of her eyes closed and giggles when Jinsoul plants one right on her jaw. “Better? I really am sorry for reacting like that.” Sooyoung shakes her head and tilts her face once more. Of course Jinsoul gives her one last kiss. They always made her feel better. 

_Sooyoung is ignoring Jinsoul’s screaming as she continues to pull on some boy’s underwear giving him a painful wedgie. Once again she found herself fighting off Jinsoul’s bullies. The girl was short and had a chubby face with big round glasses. She was awkward and shy, a perfect target for mean seven-year-old boys. Jinsoul was being picked on by the swing set and Sooyoung had come to her rescue._

_The three boys were chanting loser over and over again until Sooyoung socked one of them in the nose. Jinsoul had watched her beat all them with everything in her but she still got a few scrapes and bruises from the tussle. Turning around the girl in the oversized blue jacket cheers her on at her victory. “My hero Soobunny!” Sooyoung only had her front two teeth at that time and Jinsoul had come up with the little nickname._

_The girl often saw them since Sooyoung was always smiling when Jinsoul was around. The seven-year-old giggles as her friend kisses the cut on her nose over and over again. Jinsoul and Sooyoung were opposite but all the same. Sooyoung was always mean and rough. While Jinsoul was a sweetheart and soft on all levels. Both were messy and a little awkward. But together they worked perfectly. They had since they were just babies._

_Most people didn’t see Sooyoung without Jinsoul and vice versa. A lot of people called Jinsoul a princess, since she lived in a big house almost all alone and liked all things cute and pretty. Sooyoung wasn’t her knight though because in no way was she noble, she was more of a watchdog with all her scratches and didn’t care to bite the ones who came to harm her princess._

_Sooyoung wouldn’t have it any other way though. Because as long as Jinsoul was there to kiss her battle wounds away. She’d be okay._

Her heart beats a little slower at the memory. Sooyoung wasn’t the best kid, she was a bit of a trouble maker and rowdy but Jinsoul was by her side at all times. Jinsoul and Chaewon was a part of her family for the longest time until Jinsoul became distant and then it happened. The day she just cut Sooyoung off. 

Sooyoung felt like that rowdy kid again. With how giddy she was just watching Jinsoul eat chicken nuggets. A bit of herself rubbed off on Jinsoul since the girl was soft-spoken and shy for the longest time. But after years of hanging out with her Jinsoul had definitely taken after some of her traits. The way she became a little aggressive. She had taken after Jinsoul as well Sooyoung had never liked affection from anyone but after Jinsoul’s loving touches she had to have a hug from at least one person a day. 

Leaning further onto the counter she asks, “the meeting didn’t go well?” Jinsoul pauses in her chewing and gives her a look. It tells Sooyoung that the meeting didn’t go good at all and Jinsoul was clearly annoyed. 

“They always act like I’m stupid they’re not the ones that were with me in Hawaii how are they supposed to know what I’m talking about.” Sooyoung really doesn’t know what Jinsoul is talking about but she listens to every word anyway. The girl nods her head along with Jinsoul as she continues to eat and mumble out her complaints. 

Sooyoung steals a chicken nugget when the girl is deeply engrossed on the topic of polarized light, whatever that may be. She thinks it’s cute when Jinsoul completely nerds out like this. Jinsoul is gesturing with her hands all over the place while looking at her as if she knew everything she was saying. Sooyoung smiles and reaches forward to wipe the bit of sauce that was on the corner of her mouth. 

The action seems to pull Jinsoul out of the rant and Sooyoung quickly licks the sauce off her thumb. “I was listening keep going.” 

“But you have no idea what I’m talking about do you?” Sooyoung looks to her sides and then finally back at Jinsoul who’s smirking at her. Biting her lip she shakes her head receiving a groan from Jinsoul. The blonde laughs and runs her hands down her face. Jinsoul is pulling the skin underneath her eyes down and it makes Sooyoung snort out from how funny it looks, “Sorry I geeked on you.”

She doesn’t think she’s ever loved anyone more than at this moment. “No I’m having fun, I like listening to you besides it’s adorable when you go all nerd on me.” Jinsoul blushes as she starts to laugh and Sooyoung pretends the slap she receives hurts. “I was just playing seriously you’re probably too smart for those jerks anyway.” Jinsoul smiles at her then. Sooyoung looks away when Jinsoul tilts her head making her ten times cuter. It makes Sooyoung’s heart race.

Propping her elbows up on the marble counter she focuses on the kitchen window and the visible heat waves. “How’d your date go?” Sooyoung raises her brows and turns back to Jinsoul who has gotten closer to her. Sooyoung shrugs and goes back to staring out the window. She freezes when a hand comes to ghost behind her back. She ignores the goose bumps she gets when Jinsoul starts to redo her half ponytail. “You know you can talk to me about these things, I’ve always been supportive of you Sooyoung.” 

Rolling her eyes at Jinsoul she watches as the girl goes back to fiddle with the straw to her milkshake. Sooyoung never talked about her hookups because well no one ever wanted to hear about them. Sooyoung also never wanted to think about them again. Kyungri was definitely a onetime thing but she guesses she can mess with Jinsoul a bit. Because as far as she knew all of her friends were straight except Haseul but she knows that girl never talks about her late night snacks. 

“We fucked that’s about it.” Sooyoung sighs out. Jinsoul looks at her weirdly. Sooyoung raises a brow and clears it up, “she fucked me in the back of her car that’s all we did.” Jinsoul visibly tenses. 

Sooyoung smirks at how flustered the girl gets, “oh um I thought…well how was it?” Jinsoul was innocent as ever. It was like Jinsoul had no idea about these things and Sooyoung wonders how she was still like this when she’s clearly had sex based on the discovery in the closet. But then again sex with girls was very different than how it is with a guy. Sooyoung feels a bit sorry for Jinsoul for being a normal girl who likes boys.

Shrugging she answers, “it was sex, it was good.” Kyungri was better than most but the fact that the girl was cheating was a serious turn off. Sooyoung probably wouldn’t have met her if she knew beforehand.

Jinsoul swallows loudly, “what would have made it amazing?” Maybe Jinsoul wasn’t as innocent as she thought. Because she was way too curious to be having pure thoughts right now but Sooyoung lets the girl have fun.

They’ve never really had girl talk like this, “hmm I like going for hours and I’ve had better head. Her stroke game had no rhythm either but I was really horny so it worked.” Or maybe she was innocent because Sooyoung knows all what she just said Jinsoul didn’t understand any of it. She for sure knows when the blonde actually asks what head is. “Um head is like you know getting your pussy ate.” Jinsoul opens her mouth in an O shape and nods.

The Jinsoul asks her about the other thing and Sooyoung answers the best she can. “Stroke game? How good they are at fucking you with a strap.” Jinsoul nods and Sooyoung knows that the blonde doesn’t know what a strap is. “For you it would be how good the guy is with his dick.” Jinsoul knots her eyebrows again and gives her another funny look. Jinsoul must have not had a lot of experience but Sooyoung is dying to know what Jinsoul likes, “what about you?”

Jinsoul is staring at the counter when she asks, “huh?” 

Sooyoung repeats the question, “how do you like it?” 

“Like what?”

Rolling her eyes she pushes Jinsoul’s shoulder, “sex dumbass, how do you like it?” 

Jinsoul blushes and fiddles with her fingers. When Sooyoung is met with hooded eyes she knows she shouldn’t have asked the question, “I also like going for a long time.” Sooyoung licks on her lips getting lost in how dark the blonde’s eyes are. “I like it when they kiss me.” Nodding along she can’t help but glance down at Jinsoul’s lips. She was jealous of whoever got to kiss them nowadays. 

Scolding her inner thought she forces herself to keep eye contact with Jinsoul but the next thing that comes out the girl’s mouth makes her lose her mind a bit, “I like it rough. It makes it feel better.” Sooyoung can pin point the moment where her brain cells start to combust. It was when Jung Jinsoul said she liked it rough. 

Her fantasies of making sweet love to Jinsoul turn into fantasies of raw desire and really…rough sex. Because honestly Sooyoung also liked rough sex. And the thought of pulling Jinsoul’s hair out while she rearranged her insides with her eight inches from behind was interesting. Sooyoung nods and agrees with Jinsoul as she thinks about the girl screaming her name against her lips because she was fucking her so good with her fingers deep inside. She wouldn’t mind making Jinsoul blackout from pleasure from eating her pussy while completely tied up with-, “so you think you like her?” 

Sooyoung pauses on the vivid imagery of Jinsoul riding her in handcuffs and her mouth gagged and raises her brows at the girl. “Kyungri?” Jinsoul nods and asks if that’s her name. “Yeah it’s Kyungri and no not really. I hook up with girls but I’ve never really like any of them.” _Besides you._ And Sooyoung’s only kissed Jinsoul. Sooyoung’s slept with several girls and she can’t really recall her ever having feelings for any of them. Not even close to having that heart pounding sensation that Jinsoul gives her. But Jinsoul’s her friend, her straight best friend, so she’ll continue to be Sooyoung’s farfetched fantasy. Because Sooyoung’s pretty sure when she tried to make the fantasy into reality is when their relationship went to shit. 

“Well it’s probably because you only hookup with them silly, ask her on a real date!” Sooyoung wonders where the Jinsoul who was ready to rip YooA’s head off and the Jinsoul who slammed the door in her face because she was with Kyungri was. Now Jinsoul was telling her she should pursue the girl she wanted to kill at the volleyball tournament? Sooyoung doesn’t say anything and just tells the blonde she will.

Sooyoung lifts herself from the counter and turns her body towards Jinsoul, “how’s it going with that guy you like?” It kills her to ask but she’s dying to know.

Jinsoul knots her brows up in confusion so Sooyoung explains a little more, “the one you were telling my sisters about at the ball game.” Jinsoul blushes a bit and Sooyoung wants to throw up when the blonde bites her tongue and twirls her hair.

“He’s amazing as ever but I can’t seem to bring myself to confess, he’s seeing other people and I don’t think he’s that interested in me or at least not anymore.” Sooyoung watches as the girl’s smile turns into a sad frown. Jinsoul is staring into her own eyes as she tells her. Sooyoung wishes she could strangle this guy because who would see other people over her. Jung Jinsoul was probably the perfect girlfriend if you could get past the jealousy and inability to open up. But even then Sooyoung thought the jealously was cute and if you would listen close enough Jinsoul always gave hints out on what was bottled inside. 

Whoever was Jung Jinsoul’s crush but didn’t want the girl back was crazy. Sooyoung would do anything to have Jinsoul as her girlfriend…but for now she was fine with just being her best friend who listened to her talk about gross men. “Well he doesn’t know what he’s missing because you’re perfect Jinsoul anyone would be lucky to have you.” The blonde’s eyes widen a bit and Sooyoung shrugs, “for real he’s stupid.” Sooyoung smiles as the girl giggles.

Yeah she was just fine being Jinsoul’s best friend. 

Changing the subject she brings up the twin’s birthday tomorrow, she wonders if Jinsoul was going to come. “Are you coming over tomorrow? We’re having a cookout for the party.” Jinsoul’s eyes widen and she turns to walk off. Sooyoung tilts her head to watch Jinsoul chew on her nails as she looks at the calendar. She knows how much the twins love Jinsoul and they’d really want her at the party. But the way Jinsoul was pouting probably meant she wasn’t going to be able to make it.

“I have something really important to do tomorrow I’m sorry…” _More important than…_ Sooyoung stops the negative thought before it becomes alive. She only nods at Jinsoul and scratches at the back of her head. 

Sooyoung sadly mumbles out, “well I should probably go I have to get things ready for tomorrow.” Jinsoul shakes her head and suddenly things get a bit awkward. Jinsoul doesn’t say goodbye and Sooyoung doesn’t really want to leave. She’s waiting for Jinsoul to change her mind and tell her she’ll come home with her.

“I’ll drive you home.” Sooyoung perks up at that, maybe the ride back she can convince Jinsoul to stay, “but I really can’t stay.” Or maybe not. Sooyoung grabs her clothes and mopes out the door Jinsoul closely following behind. Sooyoung crawls into the girl’s jeep and pouts but Jinsoul says nothing and starts to drive. 

There’s a weird tension in the car, Sooyoung wants to talk but she feels some kind of defense from Jinsoul. Like the girl was suddenly upset again. It’s silent the car ride is, and Sooyoung steals multiple glances at the driver. Jinsoul was sometimes quiet but Sooyoung could tell something was bothering her by the way she was tapping on the steering wheel and chewing on her lip. “You good?” Jinsoul doesn’t look at her the girl only nods her head.

When they pull into the driveway Sooyoung doesn’t even have the courage to ask but still she tries something else with Jinsoul, “um so I’ll talk to later?” Jinsoul nods again and that’s when she realizes that somethings definitely up, ever since she asked Jinsoul to come to the party. Sooyoung remembers the conversation earlier. Jinsoul wouldn’t be hiding something from her now would she? The blonde must be upset since she can’t make it. “I’ll send pictures and stuff.” With that, she gets out of the jeep and watches it slowly roll back off. 

The evening sun is not as warm to Sooyoung, especially when Jinsoul is not around.

…

Sooyoung doesn’t particularly like cookouts or birthday parties, because all her family members seem to ask her question after question. 

How’s school? Fine.

You got a job? Same one I had the last four years.

Got a man? No.

…got a girl? No.

All her aunts and uncles were here along with her cousins and nieces and nephews. Currently she was holding Sohee her baby cousin and chatting with her aunt Sulli. Her aunt was a little crazy and Sooyoung noticed how she was drinking a 40 in a brown paper bag. The woman was clearly drunk, “I’m thinking I should get one of those hairless cat’s what do you think?”

“No they’re ugly.” Sulli blinks at her and Sooyoung pinches at the babies cheeks, she wanted babies someday. Three at least. She wanted a lot of them because she loved them so much. Lifting Sohee up she ignores the mother blabbering about cats and makes funny faces at the child receiving slobbery giggles in response. 

Sooyoung doesn’t care how gross it is and brings the little’s girls face to her lips and starts to kiss the chubby cheeks. Sooyoung sits her back down in her lap as she starts to baby talk her. She smiles widely when Sohee starts to laugh and clap her hands together. Two of her cousins come up, Sulli’s twin boys and they’re dirty from all the playing. 

“Mommy Spiderman is asleep can we throw firecrackers at him?” Sulli yells at the two boys and slaps one of them on the head before telling them to shoo off again. Sulli goes back to blabbering about whatever but Sooyoung pays no mind really. She holds the baby close to her as it gurgles and grabs her face with it’s grubby hands. She snorts when she sees her sisters picking on Chaewon and messing up her hair that was perfectly laid. 

Suddenly there’s a bunch of popping in the distance, those boys definitely went and threw firecrackers at her uncle Hyunwoo in a spiderman suit. Sulli jumps up and goes towards the commotion and Sooyoung finally sighs out in peace and looks at the baby, “just me and you!” She giggles and Sooyoung continues to play with her until Hyejoo comes over to give her a hot dog. 

Sooyoung thanks her sister and shows her the baby, “should I have one?” Hyejoo gives her a blank look while eating her own hot dog. “Come on look how cute!”

“I hate babies all they do is shit and sleep,” Hyejoo mumbles out. Sooyoung drops her smile.

“And be cute,” Sooyoung mumbles out as she picks her hotdog up and crams it in her mouth. Chaewon and her other sister come over as well. The blonde shudders as Sooyoung feeds a bit of ketchup to the baby and it slobbers it back out but Sooyoung just smiles with a mouth full of food.

Chaewon pulls her phone out and snaps a video of Sooyoung as she’s eating and talking to her sisters. The blonde cracks up because Sooyoung’s so messy and there’s a bit of chili running down her chin and when she takes another bite it drops on the baby’s head. Wiping her tears from laughing so hard she nudges Yerim to watch the video. The girl scoots over and as they watch the video they burst out into laughter and it gets the two sitting down interested.

Hyejoo is the one that speaks out, “what are you two on about?” Chaewon twists her phone around and Hyejoo starts to crack up as well at how funny Sooyoung was eating. Sooyoung is embarrassed at how ugly she looked and puts the hot dog down to try and grab the phone. Chaewon yells at her to keep her nasty hands off her perfectly clean phone. Sooyoung raises up and starts to chase after the girl keeping the baby protected as she runs around after the blonde.

“I’m going to send it to Jinsoul!” Sooyoung’s heart drops at the threat. She would die if Jinsoul saw her like that. Running faster she watches in horror as Chae types on her phone. 

Jinsoul is currently having dinner with her parents and…her significant other when she gets the notification that her sister sent her a video. Excusing herself to the bathroom since she was bored out of her mind she walks past all the rich snobs having dinner in the overly expensive and fancy restaurant. Stepping into the bathroom she quickly clicks her phone back on and locks herself in a stall.

She knew her sister was at the birthday party and it left her feeling guilty for one and incredibly jealous. Jinsoul clenches her jaw as she watches the video of Sooyoung her sister sent her. Leaning back onto the door she smiles for the first time that day. Replaying it over and over again she gets another one and her heart stops for a moment.

[Chae <3]: she was chasing after me and the baby started crying. 

Jinsoul watches with a hand over her mouth to stop the sounds of delight that want to come out from watching Sooyoung cuddle a crying baby to sleep. Jinsoul’s eyes water up when Sooyoung rubs at the sleeping kid’s face. Jinsoul didn’t know she was good with children like that. The rest of the video is just the girl singing and rocking the baby. Jinsoul can’t stand it anymore.

Dialing her sister it takes a moment for the girl to answer, “hey chae.” There’s a bunch of noise in the background. It seems like a lot of fun but Jinsoul’s stuck here. 

“Hey Soulie how’s dinner going.” Her sister happily replies. 

Jinsoul wished she was a free as her sister. Her parents had seemed to give up on the younger one and put all their expectations on her. “I wish I was with you.” 

Chaewon sighs out into the speaker, “me too I’ll tell the girls you said happy birthday. I…I’m sorry Jinsoul I love you.” Jinsoul was thankful for her sister really. She might have gone off on her own a lot but whenever she needed her Chaewon was there in seconds no matter what trouble she had gotten herself into. Her sister always updated her on the Ha family too. Chae is one if the reasons she’s been able to survive these past several years. 

“I love you too now go have fun okay? I’ll be fine.” Hanging up she steps out of the stall and goes to wash her hands. This was going to be a long day. Looking into the mirror she takes notice in how abnormal she looks in all this makeup and fancy bright dress. 

She didn’t recognize her reflection. 

Sooyoung is walking around with a still sleeping baby in her arms. She had cleaned herself and Sohee up after Chaewon decided to be a little bitch. Now the twins were opening presents and her blonde friend had gone to go get the present Sooyoung had gotten for them. She hopes they love it. Smiling when she sees that pink car pulling up she watches her sisters closely as they eye the car. When they see what’s in the back Hyejoo jumps up and runs toward it. 

About a year ago they were all playing Wii bowling and Hyunjin went a little too hard and smashed the girl’s TV with the controller. It was up near the corner and their mom didn’t have enough money to get them a new one and the TV was pretty shitty in the first place. The twins are cheering and Sooyoung goes to find Sulli so she can hand off the baby so she can help Hyunjin pack the huge flat screen in the house.

It’s taken her months to save up for it. She even gave up some of her savings to get a street bike for it. Packing it upstairs, they dodge some of the kids running around the house, and into the girl’s room. Sooyoung starts to set it up as Hyunjin brings the other TV down. Heejin is watching by the side since she couldn’t go anywhere without Hyunjin and the twins are freaking out about having a newer and nicer TV.

By the time she has it all fixed up she connects all the gaming systems as well and the internet…which she paid for every month and turns on the TV for the girls. “So what should we do with this?” Hyunjin gestures to the old one. They couldn’t sell it or anything so Sooyoung shrugs.

Pointing towards the door she tells her, “toss it out.” Hyunjin widens her eyes and then goes the opposite direction to where she’s pointing and goes towards the window. “Um wait Hyun…” Sooyoung mumbles out and her sister ignores her opening the window and pushing the TV out. Sooyoung cringes when she hears a horrible crash. Her younger sister turns and smiles wickedly as her girlfriend cheers her on. She wonders how this monster was created.

Later that night Sooyoung is watching her sisters and Chaewon play Mario Kart on the split screen. It was late and all the rest of the family had left except for a few that were playing cards downstairs in the kitchen. She could hear her Granma and Uncle screaming at each other and Heejin looked a little nervous from where she was sitting beside her. Sooyoung is about to fall asleep since she was so full and tired from today’s events. Tomorrow she had to wake up early to run and then she had practice so she guesses it’s time to go to bed. 

Feeling her phone buzz she flips it over and smiles when she sees it Jinsoul face timing her. Answering she’s already excited to talk to her. When the phone connects Sooyoung squints her eyes at the darkness. Jinsoul’s in her vehicle and Sooyoung can’t really hear anything but the radio. Calling out to her sisters as soon as Sooyoung tells them it’s Jinsoul on the phone the twins come running while Hyunjin slowly makes her way to Heejin’s embrace. 

Chaewon takes the opportunity and continues the race to win by cheating. The phone is taking over by her sisters and she can hear Jinsoul’s faint laughter through the line as Yerim screams about her birthday on the phone. Hyejoo is trying to overpower Yerim but it’s no use. Hyunjin even says hi to the blonde and Jinsoul responds politely. After a half, an hour of a bunch of girl’s blabbering to a black screen Sooyoung snatches it and heads to her room. 

When she gets there she shuts the door and flops down on her bed. “Jinsoul.” The blonde quietly hums out. The only sound in the car now static noise of the radio. It wasn’t even running. “We’re alone now.” Jinsoul laughs a bit and Sooyoung can tell her voice is raspy by the way she wheezes. She had hardly talked to the girl’s but they didn’t notice. “What’s wrong?” As soon as Sooyoung asks she can hear the choked cry.

She knew something was up with Jinsoul by her silence and how she wasn’t making goofy faces on the screen like she has the past calls. Sooyoung watches the phone slip down a bit where it’s only black. She whispers the girl’s name back out. She wonders what she’s upset about. Suddenly the call is ended and Sooyoung stares at Jinsoul’s contact. She calls her back but it’s declined quickly Sooyoung figures Jinsoul’s phone died or something. Or maybe the blonde didn’t want to talk. If that was the case then she’d talk to her tomorrow and get the answers.

What she didn’t know it was because the blonde didn’t want her to hear her sobbing. Because she was wishing she was by Sooyoung’s side. 

… 

Sooyoung is gasping for air by the time she’s done with her run. She usually would run a 10k about every morning or so and if she wasn’t running she’d hit the dance studio a little longer that day. Her body was getting well into shape and she wasn’t as winded or sore after every run but she sure did miss weed. Especially with how stressed she’s been. 

The birthday party was a few days ago and Jinsoul hasn’t spoken to her since well just a little bit but it was only at practice. Jinsoul was acting funny again and she had no idea why. Every time she’d try to speak to the girl after practice and the blonde would just tell her she’s tired and walk off. It was a less harsh version of _leave me alone_ but it still left that terrible feeling in Sooyoung’s stomach.

Today would be different though, she convinced herself. She wouldn’t let Jinsoul go on for a whole week with this terrible mood. Sooyoung stretches out and heads to the locker rooms. She thinks she could take a nap in Coach V’s office before practice or whatever. Heading inside she cracks her neck and knuckles and slightly opens the door. 

The lights were on and Sooyoung wondered if Coach V was already here. Stepping she gasps when Haseul is on the other side of the door with papers in her hand. “Oh hey, Sooyoung.” She enters the room and stares at the shorter girl, “I was just filing these papers for Coach.” Haseul was like the mini-manager for the team especially since she didn’t play anymore. It was only the four of them that really played because Jinsoul was her partner now.

Sooyoung nods and walks in further, “I was gonna take a nap on the couch.” Haseul giggles at her and moves out the way. Sooyoung sits down hesitantly and watches Haseul continue to fumble around with papers. Sooyoung feels a bit awkward since she’s never been around Haseul unless they were fucking. “So um how have you been?” Haseul freezes and lays some of the papers down before turning to her.

“I’ve been okay, haven’t really been doing much.” Haseul lies, she’s been getting awfully close to Doyeon and finding out all about Jinsoul and Sooyoung and their history. Haseul couldn’t stop thinking about the redheaded girl’s stories. She thought she had lost grip on Sooyoung but the little bit of info that Doyeon had told her what she had found in Jinsoul’s room once upon a time makes her realize she’s never had a grip on Sooyoung. She never would.

But it didn’t help that she still had these strong feelings for Sooyoung. The girl looked especially cute right now too. Doyeon had helped her forget most nights though when Sooyoung would barely text her or just straight up ignore her. Haseul didn’t blame her though they had made their rules and she agreed to them because she didn’t think she’d fall for her. 

Doyeon was there when Sooyoung wasn’t. When Sooyoung was too busy with Jinsoul, when she could only think of the blonde Haseul would run to the redhead because she never denied her. Doyeon always pulled her in and told her she was good enough. That she was special and it was crazy that Sooyoung didn’t see that. Sooyoung seemed to find that perfection in Jinsoul.

What was so special about Jinsoul? What was it about her that drove Sooyoung crazy? Why wasn’t Haseul enough? Jinsoul was just some geek, Haseul would get bored talking to the girl fairly quickly and she knew Sooyoung was the type to want someone interesting and in no way Jinsoul was interesting. She wonders if Sooyoung likes the challenge of Jinsoul. Because Haseul has always given in easily to the girl. Jinsoul was unattainable but did she ever make a mess of Sooyoung?

Haseul can tell Sooyoung is getting nervous under her gaze and the girl starts to tap her leg up and down. Haseul strides over to her carefully and bends over. She’s glad she was wearing a low cut shirt today, she’s even happier when Sooyoung’s gaze is locked on her cleavage. “Relax will you? You act as we’ve never been alone in a room before.” Sooyoung smiles and looks up into her eyes. Haseul thinks the girl is too cute. Even though months ago she thought she’d be getting married to Shownu she couldn’t deny she’d drop him in a heartbeat for this girl. 

Leaning down she grabs Sooyoung’s shaky hands and crawls on top of the girl’s lap, “okay wow we’re getting right into this huh?” Sooyoung mumbles out as Haseul brings the hands to her breasts. Instantly Sooyoung starts to squeeze and massage them. If she had anything over Jinsoul it was this. Haseul would make sure she and Sooyoung were special by fucking her the best she could. She knows Jinsoul and Sooyoung would never have this kind of intimacy. 

Crawling over to lock the door she starts to take her top off. Sooyoung chuckles and she looks a little overwhelmed, “didn’t you miss me Sooyoung?” Haseul wants the girl to be relaxed and she was way too tense right now. Chasing those thick lips that always took her to places she didn’t think she could reach she scoffs when Sooyoung turns her face to the side. Haseul is frustrated, she wanted Sooyoung to kiss her, the girl has never and Haseul has only been able to steal pecks.

Grabbing her face she forces her lips onto Sooyoung and the girl whimpers into her mouth. Haseul kisses her deeply and shudders at how good Sooyoung’s lips feel. They’re extremely soft and pillowy. Sooyoung isn’t really kissing her back though just letting Haseul do whatever she wanted. The shorter haired girl pushes her tongue inside and moans when she feels Sooyoung’s own against hers.

The feeling doesn’t last though because a hand roughly wraps around her throat and squeezes hard. She’s ripped from Sooyoung’s mouth and she chokes out from the hold on her neck. Sooyoung is glaring at her hard, “what did I fucking tell you about kissing?” Haseul whines when the grip on her throat gets tighter. She claws at Sooyoung’s chest in desperation and the girl releases her but grabs her jaw instead. 

Sooyoung was so dangerous, Haseul knew this because she doesn’t think she’s been this turned on before. “Are you really that desperate?” Haseul nods and grips at Sooyoung’s shirt. Sooyoung pushes on her and she falls to the floor. Haseul kneels over and rubs up and down the girl’s legs. Sooyoung is just pulling off her own clothes giving her an empty stare. She wishes it was something. Anything than nothing at all. But that’s what’s behind Sooyoung’s eyes. Nothing.

“Yes, I like you so much,” she bends down to kiss on Sooyoung’s thighs. She would do anything to get Sooyoung to like her back. Even if it meant if she had to destroy herself.

Sooyoung grabs onto her hair and pulls it back, “you wanna make me feel good?” Haseul nods quickly moaning when Sooyoung jerks on her hair. Haseul is begging the girl and helps take off her running shorts. Trying her hardest to pull herself towards what she wanted Sooyoung keeps her painfully away by tearing her hair out. “You’re so pathetic Haseul.”

Haseul stopped her advances and looked up at the girl who had her legs spread wide open, “you’ve got a good man and you’re wasting your time chasing after me when I’ll never like you the way you want me to.” At least Sooyoung is honest. Still, the truth has never hurt her so much. Not even the truth Doyeon told her because then it could still be ruled out as false. But this was Sooyoung and the girl looked genuinely guilty. 

Sooyoung almost looked sad but it didn’t stop Haseul from surging further to eat her out. If this was going to be the last thing between them then she might as well put all her emotion into this one time. When her tongue comes into contact with Sooyoung’s wetness they both moan out. Sooyoung starts to pull on her hair again bringing her impossibly close.

Her mouth is full of Sooyoung, her mind too. Everything about the girl was making her go crazy. She’s never tasted anything like Sooyoung and she licks up and down like her life depended on it. Sooyoung has her eyes closed grinding into her mouth frantically like she was trying to get to her orgasm quicker. Haseul at least wanted to enjoy it because Sooyoung was so soft and warm against her tongue. 

Shoving her tongue inside the girl’s hole she pumps it back and forth making Sooyoung shake against her. Sooyoung starts to tug on her head trying to make her raise up but Haseul keeps on sucking on the girl’s sensitive spots. Haseul has never heard Sooyoung moan this loud. It had to mean something right? The girl usually made quiet whimpers and soft whines but now Sooyoung was close to screaming.

She wondered why. When she feels her pussy start to clench around her tongue she knows she’s close and pulls away licking off the arousal that’s got all over her lips. Kissing up the girl’s torso she tries to meet her lips but Sooyoung covers them with her hand. Haseul wants to cry. Sooyoung still didn’t want to kiss her. After months of passionate sex, she couldn’t get a simple kiss from the girl.

Her voice chokes up when she asks, “why won’t you kiss me?” Sooyoung shakes her head. Haseul was so close to crying. Doyeon was right all along. Sooyoung didn’t want her. She wanted someone else. Haseul was just her toy. But Sooyoung treated her toys right. 

Haseul wants to remember this moment though. She wants to remember how bad Sooyoung broke her heart. She flips the girl over on her belly and makes her lift her ass up in the air. Sooyoung has a tight grip on the couch as Haseul shoves her fingers inside. Pulling her phone out of her back pocket she starts the video. She was the only one that saw Sooyoung like this. No one else. Her mouth waters at the girl pushing back onto her middle fingers. 

She’s so glad she’s recording this. Because this will probably be the last time she’ll see Sooyoung like this.

Sooyoung starts to whine out pleading for Haseul to call her this certain name. She stops the video and the thrusting of her fingers. Sooyoung wanted her to call her bunny? Instantly she gets sick to her stomach. How could she think of Jinsoul during this time? Somehow Jinsoul had her in this way too. Haseul finally felt pathetic.

Putting her phone in her back pocket she flips the girl around and forces her fingers inside. She knows who’s on Sooyoung’s mind and it makes her dizzy with jealousy. The only person that called Sooyoung that was Jinsoul. Sooyoung was chasing that fantasy and that’s when Haseul realizes that the girl she’s in love with is a little pathetic too. But she didn’t feel sorry for her because she did it to herself. Sooyoung wasn’t this cool player who had control over her own heart. 

No, Sooyoung was just some clueless girl who was in love with her best friend. A girl who already was taken. Sooyoung would never be wanted as long as she belonged to Jinsoul. Haseul wants to change her mind still though. Deep down she wants to show Sooyoung that she’s desired. Because the tight warmth wrapped around her fingers and the drawn-out moans still have an effect on her. Sooyoung was addicting, her voice, her touch, her charm, even her smell. 

Everything about Sooyoung she loved and wanted. No needed. She needed Sooyoung and she knew soon she was going to feel a pain she’s never felt before. Although right now she had intense pleasure that she’ll never feel again. Her face is stuffed in the crook of Sooyoung’s neck while pumping into the wetness at hard as she could. Sooyoung is clawing at the skin on her back surely leaving marks. Haseul gasps at how tight the girl is, how she’s throbbing for her. It’s too much for her. 

Haseul hurts herself even worse, “who’s fucking you Sooyoung?” The girl whimpers out and Haseul looks up to see the girl’s eyes are closed. There’s sweat beading off her face and her chest is heaving up and down. She was definitely getting close. The girl doesn’t answer her so she opens her hand a bit more and starts to hit her clit with every pump of her fingers. Was Haseul really fucking her? Or was she just the blueprint for Sooyoung’s imagination.

Sooyoung could be thinking of Jinsoul right now and Haseul can’t do anything about it but fuck the girl harder. Because she still wanted to make Sooyoung feel good. Haseul feels guilty for doing this to Shownu since he’s done nothing but love her and here she was wasting her love on Sooyoung. When the girl doesn’t even know her favorite food. Suddenly she’s being pushed off and Haseul slows down and raises up from where she was biting on Sooyoung’s chest.

“Stop Haseul get off me.” Sooyoung is breathing hard but she didn’t cum. Haseul knows what Sooyoung feels like, looks like and sounds like when she does. Sooyoung holds her breath and shudders and her pussy becomes even tighter. None of these things are happening. “Get off me!” Haseul pulls her fingers out quickly and raises up. Sooyoung has her face in her hands trying to calm herself down.

“W-what is it?” Haseul’s voice is small and it makes Sooyoung apologize. 

Haseul watches with fear as Sooyoung starts to pull her clothes back on, “we…I can’t do this anymore.” 

She knows she should keep her mouth shut but she can’t help it. Haseul’s angry, “is it because of her?” Sooyoung freezes for a moment and then continues to put her shirt back on before shuffling her panties up. “Is it because of Jinsoul?”

That’s the moment that Sooyoung gets pissed and it’s not in the good way where Haseul gets to enjoy thick fingers inside her. But in the way where Sooyoung has lost everything for her. “The fuck are talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about!” Haseul screams, she wasn’t stupid. But Sooyoung had her feeling stupid. “You’ve been obsessed with her for years! And you can’t even fuck me without thinking of her!” That’s what Doyeon told her. That for the longest time Sooyoung followed Jinsoul around like a lost puppy. Because she had nobody else. Jinsoul was her only friend but the then black haired girl had cut her off and Sooyoung didn’t know what to do.

“When are you going to realize she’ll never want you? She’ll never want you like I _need_ you.” Sooyoung scoffs and shakes her head and reties her shorts. Haseul feels the tears pouring down her face as she watches Sooyoung put her sneakers on. Reaching out to the girl she sobs when Sooyoung leans away and puts her hand up.

Sooyoung shakes her head, “you have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m just…I can’t do this with you, it’s wrong.” 

Haseul leaves her chest open for Sooyoung in case a miracle were to happen, “what if I told you I’d break up with him I love y-.”

“Stop, please just stop.” Sooyoung shakes her head and finishes getting ready. Haseul starts to cry harder. “I’ll never be the girl you want me to be Haseul.”

_Because you’re already her girl aren’t you Sooyoung?_

It was a shame because Haseul wasn’t a good enough fantasy for Sooyoung. She’ll never be good enough for the girl. “You’re a good person. I’m sorry this has gone too far.” 

Sooyoung leaves then and Haseul is left sobbing on coach V’s couch. Booking it out there Sooyoung breathes out in relief. Haseul was crazy and she definitely knew she had a thing Jinsoul. Too many were starting to find out and she stopped Haseul from fingering her because the girl was going a bit too hard and it was starting to hurt and well she was tired of bottoming and didn’t feel like fucking Haseul. But the girl had freaked out on her for whatever reason. 

Walking out into the sun she wipes the sweat off her face. Haseul was way too serious and emotional for her to just be a hookup. From the beginning, Sooyoung told her they meant nothing and the girl had ignored that and took it to new heights. It was getting annoying and also boring. Of course, she was thinking of Jinsoul, but she didn’t know she was that obvious. Maybe she should pull herself away from Jinsoul for a bit.

Sooyoung nonchalantly walks up to the nets and waves at Jiwoo and Coach V. Jungeun calls her over and Sooyoung jogs over and sits down beside the girl in the leg brace. Sooyoung trusted Jungeun to an extent, well a lot because her mind is running so fast at everything. Her breaking Haseul’s heart in minutes and her not having any guilt. Her being obviously romantically attracted to Jinsoul and feeling incredibly guilty about it. 

“Yo can I tell you a secret and you promise to not say a word or I’ll kill you?” Jungeun nods and continues to munch on her animal crackers. “You know how I…like Jinsoul right?” The blonde freezes and looks at her like she’s crazy. 

“Huh?” Jungeun asks in a dumb voice.

Sooyoung rolls her eyes and makes her voice into a whisper. “I’m like…into Jinsoul like I wanna be with her or whatever, get married, have babies.” Jungeun narrows her eyes at her. Sooyoung is starting to get a little embarrassed. Jungeun has teased her countless of times but now she wants to act like she’s never heard of this.

“What really?” Sooyoung knots her brows. Was Jungeun being for real?

Shaking her head she steals an animal cracker, “yes dumbass I have a crush on Jinsoul I thought you of all people knew that.”

Jungeun purses her lips trying not to laugh, “bro I was just kidding I didn’t think you were actually obsessed with her.” Sooyoung wants to die at this moment. Maybe she shouldn’t have trusted Jungeun. “How long? Since y’all been teammates?”

Sooyoung shrugs her shoulders shyly, “no man since I was like eleven.” Jungeun snorts and starts laughing.

She only glares at the blonde, “fuck bro um…that’s really cute actually. I hope you get your girl.” 

“She’s straight it will never happen.”

Jungeun rolls her eyes and nudges the now moping girl, “Jinsoul is a little fruity come on. You don’t think she’s a little suspicious sometimes?” Sooyoung thinks about it. Jinsoul’s kissed her…a lot and the girl likes touching her…a lot but that didn’t mean she was gay. Jinsoul was just like that. 

“No?”

“You’re a fucking dumbass then Sooyoung. Anyways now that I know you’re whipped for the equivalent to miss frizzle what’s the importance? You need me to like be your wingman?” Sooyoung lifts her hands up and shakes them. Smiling she’s glad Jungeun’s not being too much of an ass about it. She can’t believe they weren’t friends for the longest time.

Sooyoung starts to ramble about her situation she just needed someone to listen to her.“Um no if I don’t think I’ll ever try with Jinsoul, it’s just…Haseul was just fucking me in Coach V’s office and-.”

“SAY WHAT?” Jungeun interrupts her and her eyes are wide along with her mouth. Sooyoung cringes at the chewed up animal crackers. 

Flicking the girl’s head she leans forward. “Will you be quiet?”

Jungeun starts to scold her. “No oh my god? She has a boyfriend hello?” Sooyoung crosses her arms and huffs out.

Getting impatient she mumbles out, “I know and that’s why you need to listen to me okay?”

Jungeun sighs and lays down her crackers and gives Sooyoung all her attention. “So as I was saying I was getting fingered on the one couch and well since I’m like really into Jinsoul I was pretending it was her, I know horrible of me, but it’s all I have I mean Jinsoul doesn’t even know what a strap is.” 

“I am so sorry.”

Sooyoung ignores it and continues, “The worst part is Haseul knows too. She knows I was thinking of Jinsoul when she was getting all personal with my pussy.”

Jungeun whines and hits her on the shoulder, “I don’t need the detail jeez Sooyoung but damn how’d she find out?” Sooyoung just smirks and gives the girl a mocking glare.

“Maybe she isn’t stupid like you? I mean I’m a little obvious don’t you think?” Sooyoung whispers out. Or maybe she wasn’t that obvious. Maybe the whole bullying Jinsoul thing had fooled people well except Haseul.

Jungeun slumps over and picks her crackers back up. “Sooyoung people think you hate Jinsoul. It’s not obvious at all that you would kiss her feet.” Right, what she just thought of.

Sooyoung scratches at the back of her head. “Okay whatever but like Haseul was telling me all this crazy shit like that she loved me and Jinsoul and I will never be or whatever.” She was actually fine with that. It’s not like she was delusional. Jinsoul will probably never be her girl but that doesn’t mean she can’t dream about it. Haseul had ruined her fun because the girl was clearly jealous.

The blonde points to her girlfriend and chuckles out, “Bitches be crazy when you lay good pipe I mean look at Jiwoo.”

Jiwoo is looking at them now smiling like she was the happiest person on earth.“Shut up? Back to what I was saying… I cut it off with her. Like I can’t be having that shit. Besides she could ruin mine and Jinsoul’s friendship.” She didn’t want some girl ruining one of the only good things in her life. There was her family, dance, Jinsoul, then volleyball. If Haseul would end up sabotaging that…well, she’d hate the girl.

They sit there in silence for a moment and Jinsoul arrives at practice. She looks tired but still as beautiful as ever. Sooyoung swoons when the girl whips her hair up into a ponytail while she talks to Coach V and Jiwoo. She’s thrown out of her daydreaming when Jungeun speaks up again. “So you really don’t want to pursue Jinsoul?” Sooyoung thinks for a moment before answering.

“Not at all really. I mean deep down I know I’m basically in love with her but even though I want her as a lover, I need her as a friend. I’ll get over it.” Sooyoung was already getting attached to Jinsoul again. It was slowly building up to what they once were when they were kids. It was bittersweet in a sense. Sooyoung didn’t want to do anything to ruin that. So she’d try to get over this stupid crush she’s always had for Jinsoul. It was such a burden for someone to have feelings for you when you couldn’t return them.

She didn’t want to burden Jinsoul. The blonde looks around the court searching for something. It seems she was searching for her because when they lock eyes Jinsoul breaks out into the widest smile imaginable. It seems like she wasn’t in a bad mood anymore because she waves at Sooyoung and blows her a kiss. Jungeun chuckles when the blush invades her features, “yeah good luck you’re way too deep.” 

Sooyoung ignores her and pretends to catch Jinsoul’s kiss making the blonde laugh out. Sooyoung sighs out happily when Jinsoul turns back around to their Coach. Sooyoung would just go with the flow as Jinsoul did. Maybe she just needed to let things unfold and not try to push things. Maybe she’d let Jinsoul take the lead of their friendship this time around.

Yeah maybe she’d always have a thing for Jinsoul but she didn’t want to alienate the girl. Jinsoul was lonely, no one seemed to understand her exactly besides Sooyoung. The blonde didn’t need a lover, she needed a friend. And Sooyoung would try her best to be that without letting her selfish feelings get in the way.

Even if it meant she had to destroy herself. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I have a love-hate relationship with this story. I don’t know what I wanna do with it exactly still. Anyways Animal crossing I guess I have to live another year :D


	10. Club tingz

It was their fourth time watching Zootopia this week. Sooyoung was already annoyed from work and now that she was watching some kid movie, she wasn’t in the greatest mood. But despite it, she couldn’t get over how cute Jinsoul looked. The blonde loved the movie so much that even though she’s watched it probably fifty times she still gasped at the scene where the panther attacks, cried when the fox and rabbit fight and cursed at the sheep in the end. 

Sooyoung was watching Jinsoul more than the movie to make a long story short. Jinsoul was focused on the movie though, hugging a lion plushy close to her in her oversized pajamas. Sooyoung was jealous of the lion. Pouting she doesn’t like the distance between them. This was their first time alone this week. Since her sisters had come over with her the first two times and Chaewon was home last night. People were on the large sectional with them and it was plausible to sit away from each other.

But now it was just the two of them, almost nearing midnight. Sooyoung wouldn’t deny that she wishes Jinsoul wasn’t five feet away from her. Instead she wishes Jinsoul was cuddling with her. Their friendship hadn’t taken any turns in a while. It was oddly normal. In terms of other people. But Sooyoung knew it wasn’t normal that Jinsoul hasn’t babied her not once in the entirety of two weeks. They would go eat out sometimes. Sooyoung would stay over most nights but instead of sleeping with the blonde she would take the couch. 

They were extremely normal best friends. In a way it was beneficial to Sooyoung because her feelings for Jinsoul weren’t really burning anymore. They were comfortable. Sooyoung didn’t think about Jinsoul as often, well that was kinda a lie. She still thought of Jinsoul 24/7 but it was friendly thoughts. Like what was she doing and if she was okay. What she was eating and if she had a good day. The season was full-go too so they were winning games left and right. Jinsoul treated her like she had treated Haseul on the courts and it left Sooyoung a little slumped.

And speaking of Haseul the girl was more annoying as ever. Haseul quit the team much to everyone’s surprise except Sooyoung’s and she’s received about three drunken calls. Sooyoung would file at her nails as Haseul would beg and ask her what she could do to make her like her. She even dyed her hair blonde and got tracks…it was really weird to Sooyoung. Haseul was a vocal major but she was posting about science related stuff on social media. It was safe to say Sooyoung muted her and ignored the girl.

It was the best thing to do right? Any attention she’d give to Haseul would probably end badly. 

Sooyoung was pretty burned out on girls at the moment. The only girl she wanted attention from seemed to move past that new feeling of friendship. They were back to being comfortable. It was almost like hanging out with Chaewon. Sooyoung missed the cuddles and kisses and all the affection Jinsoul would shower her in. Now she would torture her younger sisters. Pinching their cheeks and hugging them until Yerim was no longer smiling and Hyejoo was screaming. She even tried with Hyunjin but the girl glared at her as soon as she came near her bed. 

She should be thankful though that Jinsoul wanted to hang out with her so much. The blonde could go back to hating her at any second so she guesses she’ll be fine without her selfish needs. Sooyoung reminded herself she was letting Jinsoul have control of the friendship. Sooyoung doesn’t even notice the movie had ended until Jinsoul is staring back at her. She was too busy tracing the outline of Jinsoul’s jawline with her gaze.

“Sooyoung were you even watching?” The blonde asks with a smirk. Not wanting to lie she shakes her head no. Jinsoul giggles and stands up to stretch out. It seemed like their night was over and now Sooyoung would spend the next hour thinking about Jinsoul. The girl had her glasses on and they were slowly slipping off her face. Sooyoung surges up to push them back on.

Jinsoul blushes at the soft touch and politely thanks her. Sooyoung couldn’t be more whipped. “I guess I’ll go to bed then. Goodnight Soobunny.” Sooyoung can’t help but smile at the nickname it still made her feel so many things. She watches Jinsoul waddle off into the darkness and Sooyoung starts to make her own bed up on the sectional. There were pillows and blankets in a little closet in the side of the huge living room and she made sure to make it as comfy as possible.

Rolling over she sighs out. Maybe she should just go crawl in the bed with Jinsoul, but that would be pushing it. Drifting off to sleep her mind it filled with soft black eyes and golden blonde hair perfectly curled. She falls to sleep with a smile on her face. 

Sooyoung wakes up but she realizes she’s not in reality. She’s back on that endless beach again where she always faces her nightmare. But this time it’s different because she can actually feel the suns warmth. Soft hands wrap around her waist and Sooyoung shudders when nails dig into her skin. Her body turns on its own and it’s Jinsoul. 

It was a younger version of her. Her voice almost echoes as she speaks, “ _I can’t change for you_.”

Sooyoung can feel the air get thinner. Or maybe it’s because her chest is tight, “ _but I’ll be your everything_.” 

Her eyes flutter open as the dream cuts to her and Jinsoul in the water. Splashing around. She wasn’t drowning anymore, she was flying. Sooyoung blinks at the brightness and closes her eyes again. She figured it was still early. Relaxing back into the cushions she doesn’t know how long it’s been when she hears the floor creaking. Clenching her jaw she tries to not smile as she hears Jinsoul gasp.

“Awe god she’s so cute.” Sooyoung doesn’t know how she keeps it in when Jinsoul mumbles out those words. Sooyoung can smell the coconuts. She found out it was the lotion Jinsoul used. Sooyoung sighs through her nose when soft lips come in contact with her forehead and Jinsoul rubs at her head affectionately. “A baby…” Sooyoung can’t help it anymore and starts to crack up. Jinsoul groans and Sooyoung squeals when her ear is pulled. 

“I knew you were awake!” Opening her eyes she smiles at the flustered blonde looking at her. She notices sometime in the night Jinsoul’s lost her pajama bottoms. Raising up she stretches out while Jinsoul goes around the couch. Sooyoung tries to grab her but the blonde is already too far away. Sooyoung slowly moves out of her blanket burrito and stands up.

Walking into the kitchen after Jinsoul she tilts her head at the blonde peeling a banana, “so my friends wanna hang tonight, I was thinking you should come.”

Sooyoung raises a brow as she follows the tip of the banana that goes into Jinsoul’s mouth. “Friends?” 

Jinsoul starts to chew, her left cheek is puffed up from all the fruit inside. “Yes, my friends Sooyoung I have some.” Sooyoung frowns at the sarcasm. She knows Jinsoul didn’t really have friends. From all the time she’s spent here Jinsoul’s not got one phone call and not one person has come to visit her. 

“I don’t know Jinsoul, I don’t really fit your crowd. I’m a little too lame remember?” Jinsoul’s friends were popular. They were rich and everyone knew them. Jinsoul just so happened to be a part of that clique but she was way different than them. Jinsoul may have been one of the most popular girls on campus because of her looks and bubbly personality. But she did not fit the rest of the bunch. Who were bitter and jaded because all their personality was, that they’re privileged.

Sooyoung was only known because she was hot and really good at volleyball. Other than that people saw her as that dumb loser that was always getting into fights because she was mean. At least she won most of them. She didn’t exactly, fit in anywhere. So she’d always been the outcast. The loner really. Jinsoul seems to think different of her though. The rotten that everyone else had smelled Jinsoul had smelled roses. “Sooyoung you’re the coolest person I know.”

She looks down at where Jinsoul’s laid her hand flat on her stomach, “and it would be so cool for you to come.”

Rolling her eyes at the blonde she swipes the hand away. It was way too warm, “why would I want to hang out with a bunch of pricks?”

Sooyoung feels her resolve crumble when Jinsoul gives her the sweetest smile, “because it would really make me really happy if my bunny was with me.” Of course Jinsoul wins. Because how on earth could Sooyoung resist though puppy dog eyes emphasized with upturned brows. She groans as Jinsoul starts to celebrate her victory. Sooyoung puts her fingers to her ears as Jinsoul squeals out while she jumps up and down. 

…

Sniffing up her snot she grabs another fry. She’s stuffed between Jinsoul and Lucas and they’re eating at some dive bar with terrible food. Her burger was burnt to a crisp and her fries were cold. Jinsoul had paid though so she tried to eat as much as she could. The blonde had only got a cup of ice and carrots. It made Sooyoung frown as she watched Jinsoul fiddle around with the vegetables. Lucas was talking her ear off. Telling her she’s amazing at volleyball and what not.

The three across from her were staring holes through her. Lucas asks her a question she thinks it cute, “I do not imagine other people’s faces on the ball Lucas, I try to just hit it as hard as I can.” He starts to blabber again and she glares back at Jackson. “I might imagine Jackoff’s face though.” No one at the table laughs except Lucas. 

Sooyoung only smirks at the now seething boy. “Here that Jackson? She called you Jackoff like beating-.”

“We have ears and brains unlike you Lucas.” Yeri snaps out. The girl gives a short look at Sooyoung before going back to her phone to type away. Lucas gets quiet and Sooyoung feels a bit bad for the guy. Jinsoul softly chuckles as well and the table goes into an awkward silence. Sooyoung squirms in her seat. She was in some of Chaewon’s clothes which were a bit short for her. Her shirt showed her belly button and her skirt was barely covering her.

Sooyoung starts to get a little uncomfortable. Leaning over to whisper in Jinsoul’s ear she asks, “Are they always like this?” The blonde only nods while giving her the side eye. Sooyoung takes it as a threat and goes back to picking at her food. 

It’s another several minutes until one of them speaks up, “So Sooyoung I heard you’re really good in bed.” Looking up from her cold fries she blinks at Joy. Jinsoul is also looking at the girl. Sooyoung’s glare is out of curiosity and Jinsoul’s was territorial.

Clearing her throat she asks, “Who’d you hear that from?” Sooyoung thinks it’s a strange question to be asked at dinner.

“Sana and Momo the girls you had a threesome with.” Sooyoung can’t help but laugh nervously when Jinsoul starts to choke on a carrot. She pats on the girl’s back as she drinks her water to get it down. Jinsoul thanks her silently while menacingly staring at Joy. Sooyoung notices how red the girl’s neck and ears are.

She thinks about her options as she taps on the table. Sooyoung could tell Joy the truth about her long night satisfying the two dancers even her being so sore from giving them continuous back shots or she could lie about it. “Um what did they say?” She decides to steer it off with a question.

Sooyoung realizes she made a mistake, “said you have incredible stroke game and got a magic tongue.” She only nods at the girl. Turning to Jinsoul she slumps a bit when the blonde is frowning. “And can do this one thing with your fingers tha-.”

“Okay enough Joy you’re embarrassing everyone even Lucas.” Yeri snaps out and Joy only smiles. Her work was done. Jinsoul was jealous and Sooyoung was having a guilt trip. Everyone else was a bit grossed out. 

Yeri speaks up again and asks a more appropriate question, “what do you study Sooyoung?” 

Smiling she answers hesitantly, “uh I do dance and sports medicine.” Yeri nods her head and Sooyoung feels like she’s off the hook for now after being interrogated by Lucas at first about volleyball and now this. Finally the convo was just everyone chattering among each other except Jinsoul and Sooyoung. They stayed quiet.

After another half hour of listing to the absent-minded conversation, everyone is ready to go. Jinsoul was being a little weird and Sooyoung was pretty much forgotten about. Jackson was driving his big truck and the boys sat in the front while all the girls were squished in the back. Yeri sighs and whines out, “I’m not getting back in Joy elbowed me the whole time!”

Jackson shrugs, “sit on someone’s lap?”

Joy jumps in the air and raises one of her hands high, “I call Sooyoung’s lap!”

Jinsoul is quick to protest, “no? I’ll sit in her lap you’ll be in danger.” Sooyoung stands in the background while the two of them argue about who’s sitting in her lap. They even resort to a game of rock paper scissors. Jinsoul celebrates when she wins and even wraps her arms around Sooyoung’s neck while jumping up and down.

All of them freeze and it takes Jinsoul a moment to realize that five pairs of eyes were on her and suddenly stops to awkwardly shuffle while staring at the ground. Sooyoung wonders why Jinsoul is so excited to sit in her lap. Shrugging her shoulders she waits for Yeri and Joy to hop in before she does. Joy had an odd smile on her face. Sooyoung squeezes in beside Yeri and pats her lap for Jinsoul. The girl squeals and happily crawls in. 

Sooyoung blushes as Jinsoul gets comfortable. The blonde carefully get them in a seatbelt and turns to the side before wrapping her arm around Sooyoung’s shoulders. Sooyoung only turns her face to hide it Jinsoul’s chest. Her blush gets deeper when Jinsoul goes to grab her hands to pull them around her waist. She hasn’t cuddled Jinsoul in forever so the giddiness was strong. But it was embarrassing in front of the girl’s friends.

Most of the ride to the movies is a lot for Sooyoung’s heart. Jinsoul was playing with her hair and the blonde’s body was way too soft. The smell of coconuts was suffocating her but it didn’t bother Sooyoung one bit. The weight on top of her was anchoring and she couldn’t help but hold Jinsoul tighter. Sooyoung wishes the ride was longer. Because as soon as the lights come back on her comfort is ruined. Her legs might have been numb but she would have held Jinsoul all night if she could. 

One by one they pile out of the car. Sooyoung rubs at her legs that were warm. Walking into the movie theater the rest of them start to argue over what movie to watch. All of them are yelling over each other while Sooyoung watches. Jinsoul tries to butt in but her voice is too timid. Sooyoung takes control of the situation and walks up to the teen who looks a little startled from the arguing group. “Two tickets to Detective Pikachu please.” That was the one that Jinsoul was quietly mumbling out.

The rest of them stop and stare at her as she hands in the cash and receives the ticket. Jinsoul smiles the brightest smile at her while the others looked shocked. After a few moments they wobble up to the teen and buy tickets to the movies as well. Sooyoung only skips toward Jinsoul to hand her the ticket, “since you paid for the food, I got you.”

Jinsoul giggles as she takes the ticket out of her hand, “Soobunny you didn’t have to.”

“But I did or we’d be watching MA or some shit.” 

After getting Lucas three bags of popcorn drizzled with a large sprite to drink they all head to the theater and surprisingly it’s empty for once. They head to the back and Sooyoung makes sure she has a spot next to Jinsoul or she was going to fight somebody. Jinsoul is sat in the middle of her and Jackson and the others pile in beside him leaving Sooyoung on the corner thankfully. 

The previews begin as everyone gets comfortable. Sooyoung casually stretches and lays her arm on the back of Jinsoul’s chair hoping the blonde would end up leaning into her. To her annoyance though Jackson shoves her arm off the chair. Rolling her eyes she tries again only to have it blocked by the prick.

_Keep your cool keep…your cool Sooyoung._

Trying one more time she gasps when there’s an arm already there. She wanted to twist Jackson’s arm off and then feed it to some stray dogs. It makes matters even worse when the guy starts to complain, “why are we watching this dumb ass shit again?”

Jinsoul frowns and Sooyoung blows the heat building up underneath her skin out her nose. The guy keeps rubbing on Jinsoul’s shoulder and talking over the movie. It was safe to say it was annoying. The final straw is when Sooyoung receives a tap on the shoulder and she turns her head to an uncomfortable Jinsoul and a middle finger in her face. 

Sooyoung starts to boil in her seat. She tries to focus on the movie but it’s hard when Jackson is constantly whispering to Jinsoul. The blonde reaches out for her and Sooyoung politely pushes her off. She knew Jinsoul could sense her irritation but she didn’t want to upset the girl. Jinsoul was only trying to comfort her and the blonde frowns at her neglected hand. Jackson’s breath was still close to her ear. 

Rolling her eyes she sinks further into her seat when Jinsoul giggles. Maybe she should just forget about it. The whispering stops finally and Sooyoung starts to enjoy the movie. Jinsoul had pretty good taste because she was invested and soon forgot about the annoyance. It wasn’t that she was jealous she just hated how shitty Jackson was to Jinsoul. She sighs when she remembers she was the same way once. Wanting Jinsoul in the same way Jackson did while lowkey belittling her. 

Sooyoung’s eyes widen when she hears the guy speak again, “come on soul let’s go to another theater so we can be alone I’d like to watch you instead.” Turning around she goes to study Jinsoul’s features. If the blonde was enjoying it she would ignore it but the blood was clearly uncomfortable. Standing up suddenly everyone stares at her. Jinsoul seems to be pleading, maybe to take her away from here. But Sooyoung only had one thing in mind.

Grabbing the guys collar she reels her arm back and punches him right in the nose and Jinsoul cringes beside her when she hears the crack. “You piece of shit creep!” Sooyoung starts to wail on the guy and he finally stands and Sooyoung bounces back in defense. Lucas’s popcorn is everywhere and Yeri is filming the whole exchange.

Jinsoul tries to stop her but she throws her a warning glance. It basically tells the blonde to _not come near or I’ll get even more pissed_. He starts to cry and that’s when Sooyoung is reminded he’s a little bitch until he swings too. Sooyoung easily dodges it and tackles him sending them flying over a row of seats. Some of the people scream as Sooyoung starts to smack him around like a meat patty. Soon officials come in and end the fight. 

Sooyoung is pulled from him screaming and kicking at the guy still while one of the employees warns her that they’ll call the cops on her. She’s pretty sure there’s a warrant out for her anyways because of the little shootout she was in weeks ago so she stops to struggle at the words.

She doesn’t feel an ounce of guilt when she sees Jackson’s bruised face nor when a manager tells them that they’re banned from the movie theater. Although when they get outside she feels many things when Jinsoul pushes her making her cower when she sees how pissed the blonde is. “Seriously Sooyoung what the fuck was that for? Fighting in the middle of the damn movie what are you some punk now?” 

Shaking her head Jinsoul pushes her again. They’re not hard at all just little taps to her chest and she feels the guilt coming on when she sees the tears laced in Jinsoul’s eyes. “Can we please go one day where you’re not fighting?” Sooyoung drops her head and watches Jinsoul’s feet pace back and forth. She really did it now. How was she going to ask for forgiveness?

But before she asks the blonde stops and stares at her. She can tell the gaze is full of disappointment.

_Please don’t be mad at me Jinsoul._

It was the last thing she wanted. Jinsoul pulls on her own hair, messing up the neat curls, “why can’t you be normal Sooyoung!” She doesn’t flinch at the question. She understands Jinsoul’s frustration with her. She did just beat Jackson to a pulp and got them banned from the movie theater. “You’ve ruined the entire night and for what? Because you hate Jackson that much?” Jinsoul stops pacing in front of her and shakes her hand in the air.

The blonde was pissed and Sooyoung was starting to cower. She didn’t want Jinsoul to be mad at her. Sooyoung couldn’t help herself, Jackson’s been asking for it for a long time. “When will you be normal like them?” Jinsoul gestures to the other four and it makes Sooyoung’s heart sink. Jinsoul wanted her to be like them? But they were terrible to Jinsoul. Would Jinsoul be willing to give up on their friendship if she couldn’t fit in after all? Jinsoul didn’t like the way she stood out from others?

“I’m sorry Jinsoul.” The blonde stops yelling at her and drops her hands to her side. Sooyoung looks at the four. She couldn’t fake it for Jinsoul no matter how badly she wanted her. She couldn’t simply change the girl she was. Jinsoul had to pick. Did she want to keep her shallow friends or did she want to keep her?

“But it’s me or them.” Jinsoul narrows her eyes at her. Sooyoung treated Jinsoul like gold most times. Her friends barely knew anything about her and here the blonde was begging for her to be like them. Sooyoung needed to know what Jinsoul prioritized the most. “I can’t be like them Jinsoul. If that’s really what you want. I mean I don’t know what else you want me to do.”

Sooyoung tries to keep her cool but she’s so close to tears. What if Jinsoul chose them? “You either take me as I am and I stay or you pick them and I go. It’s whatever you want.” Sooyoung was so scared of Jinsoul. She could have just ruined everything in a span of minutes. She was giving Jinsoul the choice though this time. Sooyoung would have to be fine if she was pushed aside again. When she’s done nothing but stick by Jinsoul’s side no matter what. She’s giving the blonde a chance to prove herself. To prove that all those promises were true. That Sooyoung was everything to her. 

“I…what am I saying.” Sooyoung blinks and quickly wipes the tears away from her eyes. Jinsoul’s looking at her softly. “Of course I’d chose you Sooyoung.” Her jaw drops along with the other four staring at the little exchange. “You’re my best friend.” Jinsoul sighs out while shaking her head. Sooyoung was being picked. Jinsoul was choosing her out of four other people. The kids who she’s been friends since she was fourteen. The kids Jinsoul had chosen all those years over her but now it was different. She was Jinsoul’s choice. Jinsoul had been immature then but now she was an adult with rational thought. She really chose with her heart this time.

Sooyoung squeals when Jinsoul starts slapping her arm, “but I’m tired of you getting us into bullshit like this! Really? We can’t watch a goddamn movie now!” Jinsoul was still pissed at her it seems but Sooyoung couldn’t help but smile. Jinsoul wanted her. Sooyoung reaches out to stop Jinsoul’s hands and pulls the blonde close to her. Jinsoul allows her to do so and looks into her eyes as she speaks. “I never want you to change, I love you just the way you are and I’m sorry I asked something as ridiculous as that.”

If Sooyoung wasn’t in public she’d pass out. There was nothing more satisfying than validation from the girl you deeply loved. Her soulmate really. Sooyoung had to stop herself from dropping to her knees on the ground. Maybe she was giving Jinsoul too much credit. Because this was how things were supposed to be. Or Sooyoung was just being selfish and wanted Jinsoul to herself. But she couldn’t get over the fact that Jinsoul picked her. 

Joy speaks up, “so you’re just gonna ditch us Jinsoul?”

The blonde turns around and angrily spits out, “please you don’t even know shit about me!” Joy looks around and then scratches at her head. 

“Yeah I do?”

Jinsoul frowns and tilts her head, “what am I studying then?” Sooyoung almost answers but she remembers the question is not for her. Jinsoul loved the stars and beyond. Astronomy is what the girl studied.

“Um isn’t it like art or something?” Jinsoul scoffs and rolls her eyes. 

The blonde slumps her shoulders and starts to spill the truth. “You guys were never really good friends. None of actually care about me or know me at all do you?” The four look around guiltily. Like they were the worst people in the world. Sooyoung was starting to think they actually had souls. Jinsoul reaches out for her hand and Sooyoung happily accepts it. “This doesn’t really mean I want to not be friends with you guys, I just want to be appreciated more. Like Sooyoung does. I want you all to care about me like she does.” 

Jinsoul is smiling at her and all Sooyoung can do is squeeze her hand in support, “you guys just used me. For my car, to do your homework and to lie to your parents because well mine are never home.” Sooyoung nods along with Jinsoul. The blonde really needed to get this out. It must have been bottled up for years. 

Jinsoul raises up their conjoined hands, “now I’m gonna go and hang out with Sooyoung, you all need to be more like her. Since you guys are boring and rude. If you really wanna be my friend then show me.” Sooyoung waves goodbye at the group as she’s dragged off into the night by Jinsoul. Sooyoung blindly followed her. She would always go with Jinsoul wherever the blonde wanted to. It didn’t matter, as long as she was by her side. Because she was becoming Jinsoul’s priority and she might as well make Jinsoul hers.

“I’m sorry for saying those things to you Sooyoung.” They’re walking the streets their hands swinging between them. Sooyoung closely watches Jinsoul who is staring straight ahead. “Don’t ever change yourself for anybody okay? I had to change myself for someone once and it was the worst decision of my life. I ended up losing someone important to me.” Sooyoung hums. She wonders if this had anything to do with them. It sounded familiar but Sooyoung didn’t want to pry on it. 

Back in the movie theater the four look between each other. Joy is the first one to speak up. “So how do we get Jinsoul back?” Yeri is trying to hide her tears and the boys are too quiet. Rethinking their decisions. 

Lucas rubs the back of his neck, “shouldn’t we try being more like Sooyoung then? That’s what she said.” Joy hums and nods her head. Usually the boy was kinda dumb but he actually spoke some sense. But Joy knew they couldn’t just be like Sooyoung. The girl was quite the character.

“I don’t think we’ll ever compare to her.” Joy mumbles out and looks off into the direction where they walked in.

Jackson coughs and Joy frowns when he grumbles out, “and why’s that. Don’t tell me you think all high and mighty of Sooyoung too.”

Smiling she answers, “no I just know Jinsoul likes her.” She’d watched them at the dinner that one time. And at Chaewon’s rap video shooting and very closely tonight. Jinsoul wasn’t as slick as she thought she was. Jinsoul totally had a thing for Sooyoung and although Joy was a bit disappointed that she couldn’t get a piece of the girl herself she couldn’t help but find them cute. 

Yeri sniffles a little and sarcastically replies, “Yeah duh we knew that.” Yeri had no idea what Joy really meant so the girl happily turns around and clasps her hands together.

“No dumbass I meant Jinsoul _likes_ likes her. Like she wants to get up in her.” The other three gasp and give her crazy looks. 

Jackson raises up where he was holding his ribcage, “but isn’t Jinsoul straight? She even has…a boyfriend.”

Yeri rolls her eyes and grumbles out, “please she hates that fucker. Everyone does.” Joy nods her head. It was a kinda a known thing that everyone hates Jinsoul’s boyfriend. No one really knew about him except them. She wonders if Sooyoung even knew. Jinsoul never spoke of him and the only reason they knew is that he stalked Jinsoul once and blew up on her because she wasn’t returning her calls. But now sometimes he would tag along with them and Jinsoul would always make sure they were going out of town. 

Joy would notice how uncomfortable the girl would be around the guy on the rare outings. But it was opposite with Sooyoung, Jinsoul clearly loved being around her. That’s when she comes up with a plan.

“Okay so we know she hates him but that doesn’t mean she’s gay? Well I don’t know.” Jackson mutters out and slowly stretches his body out. 

Joy brings up a memory from the past, “Y’all don’t remember that one-time Jinsoul went on that rant about how pretty girls are and how they smell nice?” Joy remembers it vividly because Jinsoul never talked that much. When she did it would usually be about stars or whatever. _Oh wait_. That was Jinsoul’s major Joy thought. Starology or whatever. Joy mutters to herself, “dumbass.” 

The other three are all being brought realization. Yeri chews on her nails as she starts to ramble out, “so? If Jinsoul’s gay how does that help us? We supposed to have her a pride party or some shit?” Joy narrows her eyes at the girl. She almost wanted to slap her silly.

“No that means that we are going to try and get Sooyoung and Jinsoul together. She’ll love us forever if we get her some pussy.” Joy states matter of factly putting her hand out in the air. The other three look a little traumatized from her wording. “I mean love…” 

Yeri bounces up and down a bit, biting her lip before throwing her hand in as well, “I guess I’ll try too.”

Jackson quickly throws in his hand shocking both girls, “I’ll make sure her boyfriend doesn’t get in the way.” Joy nods her head impressed at his cooperation. 

Lucas is the last to throw his hand in, “I’ll bring the snacks!” He answers with a cheesy smile. Joy smiles as well because the boy was being sincere. They all raise their hands and call the alliance operation get Jung Jinsoul some…love. 

“So now what?” Yeri asks.

Joy rubs her chin with her finger and thumb, “I don’t know actually um, I guess we go home.” It’s awkward until Jackson starts to stumble towards his truck. The rest of them follow in suit. 

Sooyoung is still happily swinging her and Jinsoul’s hand back and forth. For some reason she felt these weird fluttering feelings she’s never had before with Jinsoul. It wasn’t that painful chest ache or weird knots in her tummy that Jinsoul usually gave her. It just felt nice, it didn’t have to mean anything. Jinsoul’s hand is warm too. 

Humming out she dodges some of the bikers on the sidewalk that didn’t know how to use their lane. Looking at the blonde she smiles when dark eyes are met with her own, “what do you want to do now?” Jinsoul squeezes one eye shut and stops their stride. The city buzzing around them makes Sooyoung realize something. She really hasn’t had fun with Jinsoul in forever. And thinking about it she’s missed it a lot.

When they were younger all they did was get into trouble, Sooyoung’s doing, and go on adventures, Jinsoul’s ideas. That’s what the fluttering feeling was, that safety and giddiness that comes with friendship. Sooyoung really hasn’t been in love with Jinsoul as much as she thought. It’s been a longing to have this friendship back. Although she was independent she couldn’t deny she was a better her when Jinsoul was her other half.

Years she’s been obsessed, infatuated with Jinsoul and the mystery. Those thoughts distracted her from the most important thing about Jinsoul. Her happiness. It was Sooyoung’s responsibility to be a provider of fun and happiness for Jinsoul because nothing made Sooyoung feel better than doing just that. She wonders if she’s ever been in love with Jinsoul or if it’s just this desire she has for her. Back then Sooyoung thought about rejection and she wasn’t scared because she was sure Jinsoul would still be her friend. 

But losing Jinsoul as a friend was her worst nightmare. She had been left alone. But now she was sure Jinsoul wouldn’t abandon her again because the blonde had been so genuine with her actions and words. It was still dangerous thought because Jinsoul was like that too, right before she dropped the weight on her. 

Feeling grateful she squeezes Jinsoul’s hand, she had a stronger love for Jinsoul. It was unconditional because despite the fact their differences she still loved Jinsoul with everything in her. “Hey Jindori,” the blonde tilts her head in that cute manner, “thank you for being my friend.” Jinsoul laughs at her and it’s not in a mocking way. Jinsoul’s truly happy from her little statement and Sooyoung doesn’t miss the way the blonde’s tongue comes out.

Sooyoung wanted to be with her forever. No matter what. No matter what way.

Poking the girl’s cheeks she asks again, “hello you didn’t say what you wanted to do?” 

Jinsoul shrugs and pulls her out of the way from walking people, “maybe we should just go home.” Sooyoung’s heart skips at Jinsoul saying home. She wonders where Jinsoul considers home. “I kinda miss your sisters.” Sooyoung breaks out into the biggest smile. Jinsoul was talking about her place. 

Even though it’s not a bad idea to just go home play Mario Kart and finish the night with Jinsoul in her arms, she doesn’t really want to waste the opportunity. “Come on we should do something it’s only eight!” Jinsoul shakes her head and tries to pull her hands away but Sooyoung grabs her waist pulling her in closer looking her straight in the eyes. “Come on Jinsoul don’t you ever wanna go apeshit?” The blonde opens and closes her mouth like a fish and then shakes Sooyoung off of her.

“Haven’t you already been wild tonight? You busted Jackson’s nose.” Sooyoung laughs and looks around to see if anyone’s around before getting close to Jinsoul again. Where their faces are only inches apart.

Shaking her head she answers, “he was being a creep and I couldn’t stand the way he was talking to you.” Sooyoung knows she’s being hypocritical because even if she’s never been a pervert to Jinsoul she’s certainly thought about it. And she hasn’t been the nicest to her but Jinsoul’s never treated Jackson badly, he had no need to be rude. 

Sooyoung thinks she’s said something wrong when Jinsoul pulls her hands away. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help it!” Suddenly her face is cradled by the soft warm hands that were just enveloped in her own. Jinsoul is staring at with this depth she really couldn’t figure out. “What?”

The blonde shakes her head, “you have the most barbaric ways of protecting me, ever since we were little.” Sooyoung pushes Jinsoul’s hand off because her face was starting to get red and she didn’t want the girl to feel the heat on her cheeks. Sooyoung has always beaten people up for Jinsoul. All the boys on the playground, the girls at the roller rink making fun of Jinsoul because she couldn’t skate, even that one time at prom when a guy wouldn’t stop following Jinsoul and touching her ass to the point where she was crying.

Sooyoung had beat him into a pulp while the whole school watched including Jinsoul. She remembers the shocked expression on her face as Sooyoung was dragged out of the dance by some teachers. Her black dress had been ripped to shreds by the creep and she only borrowed it from her cousin. Magically the next day a replica had been sent in the mail.

“So? If you want me to stop then start standing up for yourself you can’t let people have a hold on you like that.” Jinsoul stood up to her once and well that led to them being here. Jinsoul’s always been a passive person having the longest fuse when it comes to temper. People have walked all over her all her life and Sooyoung’s tried to make her push back but the girl would always cry about it. She had grown up with Sooyoung who was her personal body guard but when they spilt off Jinsoul was a piece of meat to everyone because she was so nice and didn’t have a bone in her body to be mean.

The blonde shrugs, “I have you again I’m fine.” Sooyoung knows she’s lost the argument when Jinsoul shushes her with a finger to the lips when she goes to protest. The blonde smirks at her and it leaves a good feeling in her chest, “I’m a little tired of talking. What did you say about having fun?” A wide smile crawls onto Sooyoung’s face and she starts to drag Jinsoul off into the night.

Around an hour later they’re spray painting the side of the building. The guy at the hardware store was confused because usually when people come in late at night wanting multiple cans it’s teen boys with way too much eyeliner. The two girls in front of him looked mature and not at all the criminal type. The darker haired girl had a charming smile and the blonde hid behind her with a cute smirk. He watched them walk out, wondering why they needed it. Maybe an art project.

Art project indeed. Sooyoung was spray painting dirty words on the brink wall with blue while Jinsoul was painting bumble bee’s and mermaids, a bunch of cute things. Sooyoung was sweating with how hard she was trying to make the word _cunt_ look as elegant as possible, using white to make it look like it was sparkling. She looks over to Jinsoul who had a blue bandana around her face, Sooyoung had a red one on. She really hopes they don’t run into any gang members tonight. Finishing up she wipes at her forehead. Sooyoung knew she probably looked greasy as hell right now. Walking over to Jinsoul she smiles at the girl’s portrayal of a penguin in a tuxedo. 

The blonde stops spraying and looks up at her bringing her mask down, “wow Sooyoung you kinda looking fine right now…” Sooyoung blinks at the cheesing blonde. She was sure she looked far from fine. Her hair was in a messy low bun and the shirt was skin tight and damp on her skin. Jinsoul seemed to enjoy it though by the way her eyes were soaking in her appearance very obliviously. 

Sooyoung gets a little nervous and pushes on the blonde’s shoulder, “stop playing.”

“I’m not playing you’re so sexy.” Sooyoung is glad half of her face is hidden by the mask because her blush was terrible along with her slack jaw. Jinsoul was staring at her with this intensity that she couldn’t get comfortable with. She hates how flirty Jinsoul is now because she can’t handle it. Jinsoul breaks their staring game and goes back to painting the penguin. “Ha! Doesn’t it remind you of Jiwoo!”

Sooyoung steps forward and tilts her body to inspect the work. Jiwoo does resemble a penguin sometimes. She compliments Jinsoul and the girl is giggling until Sooyoung takes her spray can and starts to cover the penguin up with blue paint. Jinsoul screams and tries to push her off but Sooyoung continues to ruin her hard work while laughing like a maniac. 

Squealing out when Jinsoul grabs her side and squeezes she tries to twist out of the grip. Her stomach is hurting with how much she’s laughing from how much Jinsoul’s tickling her. Every time she tries to get away Jinsoul chases after her. Sooyoung knows she’s quicker than Jinsoul but she enjoys the blonde’s hand on her too much even though she was a bit in pain from the pinches. 

Holding the girl off Sooyoung starts to catch her breath. Jinsoul is standing there pointing and laughing at her. Sooyoung wants to wipe the smirk off her face, “come her you bitch!” Jinsoul screams bloody murder and tries to run but Sooyoung actually uses her speed. Sooyoung is in the middle rubbing a knuckle into Jinsoul’s scalp the girl screaming out in pain when bright lights shine on them along with blue lights starting to strobe.

“JINSOUL IT’S THE COPS RUN!” Sooyoung darts off and turns her head to look back to see Jinsoul standing frozen in the lights. Turning back she grabs the blonde’s hand but the cop has a hold of the blonde’s arm. The short guy is just staring at her while Jinsoul starts to ball her eyes out like a little kid. Sooyoung tries to jerk her away but the cop pulls the blonde back. Now they were just playing tug-a-war with the crying girl.

Sooyoung starts to whine and the cop finally pulls Jinsoul out of her grip, “damn punks finally I got some if you.”

The cop is breathing hard as he tries to reach for the cuffs and Sooyoung slaps them out of his hands when he pulls them out and grabs onto Jinsoul again and starts to run as fast as she could. The cop is yelling behind them and Jinsoul is still crying behind her while she huffs out from the sprint. Sooyoung darts down an alleyway and begins to weave them through the city.

Shindong looks around, he lost them again. This was the third time this week he’s almost got an arrest but ended up fumbling with the cuffs. They were just so slippery. Breathing hard he swats at the air. It was probably just some teenage wannabe’s trying to look cool by dressing like gang members. Waddling back to his trooper he looks at the art on the wall, it was kinda cute. 

He still hated the skinny bitches though. Too fast.

“Sooyoung y-you’re TOO FAST SLOW DOWN!” Sooyoung stops dead in her tracks and it makes Jinsoul run into her back knocking her down. Looking behind her she sees no sign of anyone chasing after them. Helping Jinsoul back up she pats the blonde on the shoulder and congratulates her for her first criminal act. 

Sooyoung leans up on the wall while Jinsoul is hunched over catching her breath. Jinsoul gives her a thumbs up when she asks the girl if she’s good. Sooyoung didn’t even know they were standing beside a door until Jinsoul gets wacked in the face with it when someone busts out of it like a madman, “oh fuck sweetie I’m so sorry!” Sooyoung is about to beat the person’s ass for hurting Jinsoul until she sees who it is.

Someone they went to high school with and he was in…a mesh shirt and leather pants, “Park Jinyoung?”

The boy with big ears and a sweet smile gasps, “Ha Sooyoung?” 

They stare at each other for a few moments. They had a moment in the school’s library once when Jinyoung had opened up to her about his boy crush on the captain of the swim team. Sooyoung was always openly gay while Jinyoung was in the closet. Both of them got bullied in school and Sooyoung had even stood up for him a few times when some boys would call him a ****** and Jinyoung would sometimes pick her up head up when she got in a bad fight. They weren’t friends but they had some unspoken alliance and secretly looked out for each other.

She hasn’t heard from the guy since graduation when they gave each other a brisk hug, they battled the trials of being a loser in high school together. “Baby what are you doing! I told you to wait for meeee.” Sooyoung raises her brows at the masculine voice and out comes said captain of the swim team, Bang Chan. It looks like everything had worked out for Jinyoung because the sandy blonde haired boy was kissing him sloppily on the face making the tanner boy’s face a deep red color.

Bang seems to notice Sooyoung and yelps while pulling himself off, Jinyoung turns to him and whispers “it’s okay she’s cool.” The couple has had some difficulties when running into old classmates. Like the time one of them thrown a drink on them while they were having dinner at a restaurant. It was hard being open in public.

That’s when they realize that Jinsoul is groaning on the ground and Sooyoung darts down to pick her up while cradling her head. Bang opens his mouth in realization. One time in high school he had forgotten his bag at the pool but there was a girl crying on the bleachers. He went to comfort her and was surprised to find it was Jung Jinsoul. One of the most popular girls’s in school, she was the top of their class, everyone was in love with her, and she was probably the sweetest person ever.

Bang wondered what was wrong with the girl, every time he’d go to the volleyball games to watch the girl Jinsoul seemed so happy but she was sitting here now balling her eyes out. He proceeded to talk to the girl hours, he found out Jinsoul was in love with a girl in their class and he never was told her name, but Jinsoul did describe her. Long black hair, dark eyes, thick lips, and a button nose. _Bunny teeth_. Bang’s eyes widen when he realizes that Ha Sooyoung fix the description of Jinsoul’s un-requited crush back in junior high.

He doesn’t say anything though, he just hugs his fiancé closer _. I wonder if they got together just like me and Jinyoung?_

Sooyoung is busy rubbing at the blonde’s forehead and kissing it gently as Jinsoul’s clinging onto her shoulders. Jinsoul thanks her as she lifts her body up. Sooyoung helps her wipe the dirt off her pants while ignoring the stares they’re receiving. Jinsoul seems to notice the boys finally greets them, “oh Jinyoung and…Bang! It’s so nice to see you two!”

Sooyoung pats on Jinsoul’s ass a little too long than needed and turns back to the couple. They’re just smiling and a bit sweaty. Jinyoung pulls out a cigarette and lights it. “What are you bitches doing out so late in the alleyway?”

Thinking she can joke a bit she shrugs, “Jinsoul was about to give me head.” Jinyoung bursts out in laughter while Bang awkwardly smiles at her and Jinsoul curses her up and down. Sooyoung tries to block the hits she’s receiving and apologizes, “jeez quit it! So abusive…I was playing we’re just having a girl’s night having some fun.”

Jinyoung blows some smoke out and leans back onto the brick wall, “you girls up for a party? It’s house night in Dino’s.” Sooyoung looks at Jinsoul with a questionable expression. She would love to go boogie in the gay club but she wasn’t for sure if Jinsoul would be so comfortable surrounded by a bunch of homosexual men. 

Jinsoul nods while hiding behind her, “sure sounds fun.” Jinyoung gives them a Cheshire smile and finishes his cigarette. The club ate up hot girls because they were always fun. A lot of the guys would bring their girl best friends and it would make it a fun night. The dark haired boy and his boyfriend lead them inside from the back and into the VIP room. 

Bang gestures for them to sit at the red couch and tells them he’ll be right out. Sooyoung eyes the massive bong in the middle of the table. Jinyoung notices the girls stare and pulls out his bag of weed. What better way to start them off than completely blasting them to space. Sooyoung starts to get excited and glances over at Jinsoul noticing how nervous the girl is. The blonde takes her jacket off revealing the small white tube top underneath. Sooyoung wasn’t even sure if she wasn’t wearing a bra.

Leaning over she rubs at the girl’s naked lower back, “you okay? We can go if you want to.” Jinsoul shakes her head and adjusts her top, Sooyoung knows for sure she wasn’t wearing a bra. Taking off her own shirt Jinsoul gasps. Sooyoung was glad she wore a bra this time because Chaewon’s shirt was way too tight. Taking Jinsoul’s jean jacket from her she throws it over herself. 

She knew her and Jinsoul looked like baddies, the blonde had some plaid pants on while Sooyoung was in nothing but denim and a black bra. She was going to make this night one to remember for Jinsoul. The boy across from them starts the bong by taking a long rip from it. Sooyoung watches as Jinyoung’s cheeks puff up and he swallows the smoke down and hands it to her along with the lighter.

Sooyoung puts it to her mouth and lights the bowl and starts to inhale to accumulate the smoke until the bong is completely filled. She pulls the bowl out and clears the bong in one big inhale and it makes her throat burn. Putting the bowl back in she hands it to Jinsoul who looks scared and confused. Sooyoung blows out all the smoke through her nose and coughs as she does so. “Here put it to your mouth.” Jinsoul hesitantly places her mouth to the bong and Sooyoung lights the bud, “now suck until the whole thing is filled up.” 

Sooyoung smiles at the blonde’s cutely knit brows in concentration, “okay when I pull this out you gotta inhale deeply.” Jinsoul gives her a look and Sooyoung pulls the bowl and Jinsoul sucks the cloudy air up but starts coughing midway. She pulls away and Sooyoung covers the top so know of the smoke is waste. Jinsoul is coughing her lungs up and beating on her chest. 

Taking the bong she clears it out for Jinsoul before passing it back to Jinyoung, “you gotta blunt or something?” He nods and digs around in all the shit on the table and pulls out a joint and hands it to Sooyoung. She’s thankful that it even has a filter for Jinsoul. 

The blonde looks at her with watery eyes, “you know I don’t smoke Sooyoung!”

Shaking her head she lights the joint and takes a puff before handing it to the blonde, “I know, but I also know you like edibles and this will get you faded it’s not bad, just one night.” Jinsoul gives her an annoyed look before grabbing the joint. Sooyoung makes sure it’s fine and Jinsoul seems to get the hang of it after a few coughs here and there. Sooyoung goes back to passing the bong with Jinyoung while Jinsoul gets her own little high.

Bang finally comes back with a tray full of shots. Sooyoung counts twenty of them, tonight was going to be long. She’s on her fourth hit when Jinyoung starts to pack it back up for them. Bang takes a couple of shots and Sooyoung turns to Jinsoul who is just absent-mindedly smoking the joint. “You good?” Jinsoul glances at her after five seconds and Sooyoung breaks out into a huge smile when Jinsoul does. The girl’s eyes are so bloodshot and she’s high as hell.

Sooyoung starts to cackle and leans over not being able to contain herself as the blonde starts to scream laugh as well. They’re hitting each other on the back and Sooyoung even lifts her legs in the air to kick them as Jinsoul bounces in her seat. They were way too faded. The laughter finally subsides and Sooyoung giggles as she asks, “you know how to shotgun?” Jinsoul’s mouth is wide open and she gives her a quizzical look. 

“Here you take it in, get all the smoke in your cheeks but don’t inhale,” Jinsoul puffs her cheeks up and Sooyoung giggles at how cute it is and it makes her stretch her lips out to the point they hurt. “Yes just like that but put smoke in them.” Jinsoul brings the joint up and starts to take a deep drag and holds the smoke in her cheeks.

Sooyoung gets close to her where they’re lips are inches apart. “Now let it out slowly,” Jinsoul opens her mouth and Sooyoung’s too focused to notice how dark and glazed the blonde’s eyes are. Jinsoul even lets her eyelids fall as Sooyoung puckers her lips to suck the smoke into her own mouth. Sooyoung pulls back once she’s done and holds the smoke in her lungs for a few moments before letting it all out. 

“Again!” Jinsoul repeats over and over again like a little kid and Sooyoung complies. Jinsoul gets a little too close this time and Sooyoung has to back away a bit so their lips don’t touch. Sooyoung only winks at her when it’s done and blows the smoke through her nose. Jinsoul hasn’t taken her eyes off her lips. Getting nervous under the blonde’s gaze she turns and reaches for the forgotten bong because bang and Jinyoung were making out. Sooyoung just ignores them while Jinsoul becomes very interested in the show in front of them. “Woah…” Sooyoung snorts at Jinsoul’s deep voice and takes another hit from the bong. 

A bunch of the shots was gone and there were only several left. Sooyoung takes two back to back and hands one to Jinsoul who was close to finishing her joint. The blonde stares at the glass before giving Sooyoung a curious stare, “Sooyoung what’s it like with a girl? The sex?” She laughs nervously and just shakes her head and leans back to enjoy the effects starting to make her drown. Jinsoul is staring at her still and Sooyoung knows she’s not getting out of this one. 

“Um it’s like nice or whatever.” Jinsoul shoves her while groaning and Sooyoung holds her hands up in defense. She thinks for a moment and then starts to explain to Jinsoul in a whisper while fiddling with one of the buttons on the coat, “it’s I don’t know, girls are just girl’s. Their skin is soft and so is their lips. Sometimes you just want to explore because everything’s so soft about them,” she pauses and grabs another shot for Jinsoul and watches as the blonde throws it back, “but when you get…more into that’s when it really gets addicting. It’s wet and hot sometimes tight which is really amazing, I mean I’m sure you would know but it’s different when it’s with someone else. Once you have someone come around your fingers or tongue it’s, unforgettable.” 

Sooyoung finishes while staring at the floor. She finally looks back up and Jinsoul is staring at her with pitch black eyes. Jinsoul’s stare is glazed over and she smacks her lips a bit, the blonde was a little lost right now and Sooyoung could tell. Jinsoul is rubbing on the back of the couch, her manicured nails clawing at the leather. Her voice comes out deeper and raspy, “sometimes I have these thoughts Sooyoung.” 

Her heart beat picks up and she notices out of the corner of her eye that the boys were done making out and taking more shots but Sooyoung could only focus on Jinsoul and how her tongue comes out to wet her lips, “that maybe I’d like to try it with a girl.” Jinsoul basically draws it out making a heat pool in Sooyoung’s stomach. So much to seeing Jinsoul as only a friend.

_My god._

Sooyoung instead giggles and slaps on the blonde’s shoulder which snaps her out of the weird trance she was in. Jinsoul starts to laugh as well and eventually they’re crying since they’re laughing so hard. Sooyoung gasps for air as she grips Jinsoul’s shoulder, “well say the word and I’ll become your wingman!” Sooyoung ignores the frown that breaks out on Jinsoul’s face and grabs the bong. 

Jinyoung is high as fuck too and yells out, “getting more shots ladies!” Sooyoung gives him a thumbs up and takes a rip from the bong and hands it to Jinsoul. Bang comes near and chants with Sooyoung begging the blonde to clear the whole thing. Jinsoul was a bit of a goody two shoes, never really going out of her comfort zone to party like this.

The other boy comes back with another tray full of shots, “this one is for you guys ‘cause me and the baby drunk all the ones on the other one.” Jinsoul finishes a hit and Sooyoung clears it out for her. The tray only has six shots now and she and Jinsoul take three each. That makes six for her and five for the blonde. They were ready to party now. 

With tequila and weed coursing through her veins now she claps her hands and points in front of her with both hands. Standing up she wobbles a bit, she was so crossfaded she wasn’t for sure if she’d be able to dance. Jinyoung balances her out and starts to pull his mesh shirt revealing his abs underneath. “Here girl that jacket is not dance floor material.” Sooyoung shrugs it off and starts to put the shirt on.

Jinsoul is beside her and starts to mumble out, “bunny isn’t it funny that there’s like trillions of stars out there and we can’t even count that high! We literally cannot imagine a trillion of something but there are trillions, even gazillions of stars isn’t it so-.”

Sooyoung grabs the blonde’s face and squishes the puffy cheeks between her hands. She giggles when the girl perks her lips up like a fish, “glub…glub.” Sooyoung bursts out in laughter embarrassed at how Jinsoul gets at her. Calming down she tries to not get distracted by the girl’s impression of a fish. 

Breaking out into a straight face she stares at Jinsoul, “dance now stars later I promise.” Jinsoul nods her head and holds her hands up to wave them around. The four of them cheer as they leave the VIP room and go into the strobe lights, sweaty air, and pumping retro house music. Sooyoung instantly feels the beat in her body and rushes out onto the dance floor. It’s pretty dark inside except for the pulsing green and blue lights. 

She gets in-between a few sweaty bodies and starts to move her body throwing her head back. Sooyoung closes her eyes and just focuses on the music letting it take over her inebriated body. She takes her own hands and rubs up and down her front only feeling the mesh because her skin was numb. Soon the other three join her and she faces Jinsoul the blonde moving along to beat with her. Sooyoung steps closer to her and they start to sway their hips at the same time and they even bounce back and forth at a rhythm.

Throwing her hands up the beat drops and she starts to hop up and down with the others laughing and screaming at how fun dancing is. She gets tired and starts to roll her hips side to side while slowly dropping to the floor. Jinsoul is just cheering her on as she busts it down even though she had no ass. Jinsoul squeals as she wiggles her hips side to side while sticking her tongue out. She even hears a few men holler. 

Jumping side to side on her feet she pulls Jinsoul closer to where their fronts are flushed against each other. The dancing gets a little erotic as Jinsoul throws her arms around her neck and moves her hips against Sooyoung’s. They basically whine dance against each other in the same motion. Sooyoung bites her lips as she looks down at Jinsoul’s hips fitted against her own flicking side to side. Grabbing Jinsoul’s hands that were now firmly grasped behind her neck she holds them out from the side of them while grinding into the girl.

Laughing she pulls them apart and starts jumping again. Sooyoung kinda loved clubbing but never had anyone to go with. Jinsoul and now even Jinyoung and Bang was here she could hit them up. Stepping side to side she grabs the back of Jinsoul’s neck and lays her forehead against the blonde’s sweaty one. Jinsoul is clawing at her tummy and eventually grabs her hips pulling them even closer. Sooyoung groans at how sexy Jinsoul’s hips are moving, “damn you’re such a good dancer!”

It’s an honest compliment but she didn’t know Jinsoul would be affected by it. The blonde had to contain a whimper from the hot breath on her lips and the toned body against her palms. Sooyoung gasps as Jinsoul turns around and leans up against her. It’s like instinct as she grabs Jinsoul’s hips and the blonde’s hands come to reach up to thread fingers through her sweaty hair. Sooyoung was surprised when Jinsoul starts to rock her hips a circular motion. 

Her ass was right against Sooyoung’s groin and it was driving the older girl crazy. Sooyoung did not know Jinsoul could move her hips like this let alone dance. But the blonde was full of all kinds of surprises tonight. Jinsoul starts to move lower and Sooyoung follows her while keeping one hand on her hip while the other felt the bare skin of Jinsoul’s tummy. The hands in her hair gripped tightly and Sooyoung smiles at how hard Jinsoul was panting. 

The blonde had her eyes closed now just enjoying the feeling of Sooyoung’s soft hands all over her while she felt bony hips grind into her ass as she swayed it back and forth, side to side. Sooyoung moves her head to the side as Jinsoul arches into her and lays her head back onto her shoulder. Jinsoul was so sweaty and Sooyoung was dying to lick the drop that was crawling down her neck that was tensed up. Sooyoung controls herself and just continues to dance with Jinsoul. This was good enough and her mind was way too foggy because even this was a little too much. Having Jinsoul rub her ass up against her like this.

She knew it wasn’t weird for her Jinsoul to be up against each other dancing like this. They were just having lots of fun and dancing against each other felt so good especially with the substance effects in their bodies. The only weird part was how horny Sooyoung was, she was sure the painful throbbing down below wasn’t very friendly. Sooyoung distracts herself though, she wasn’t going to ruin their night with her selfishness. “Are you having fun!” The blonde only nods squeezing her eyes closed since Sooyoung’s lips are so close to her ear.

Bang reappears since he and Jinyoung split off several minutes ago. He had some kinda energy drink in hand. “Inhale this very deeply!” He holds the bottle up to Sooyoung and she leans forward while he sticks it up her right nostril. It hits her weirdly and for a few seconds her mind explodes and it feels like rockets bursting in her head. Then it feels so good, everything around her and she grips Jinsoul’s body tighter as the blonde does the same with the bottle. 

The feeling doesn’t last too long and Bang holds it up to her again and of course Sooyoung does it, loving that short feeling of euphoria. Massaging Jinsoul’s hips she’s groan at the strobe lights becoming more intense. Bang takes a few whiffs too after Jinsoul does once more. Sooyoung’s heart is beating widely and her whole mind is fogged up in weird sensations. Jinsoul’s body feels so good against hers and she whimpers when Jinsoul basically pulls her hair out. 

Bang comes closers and wraps his arm around them and starts to grind against Jinsoul’s front. Soon they’ve got Jinsoul sandwiched and the blonde is loving every second of it. One hand is still in her hair gripping tightly and the other is on Bang’s sweaty chest only covered in a blue tank-top. Sooyoung gasps when she feels someone come behind her and grips her hips. “Kiss her baby!” It’s Jinyoung’s voice and he’s telling Bang to kiss…oh.

Sooyoung watches with wide eyes and holds her breath as Bang leans forward to lock lips with Jinsoul. At first the blonde knots her eyebrows in surprise but soon closes her eyes and kisses back. Sooyoung’s not even jealous just incredibly turned on by the way Jinsoul rolls her tongue against the boy’s. Suddenly there are lips next to her ear, “I know you want to taste her too, she looks so sweet doesn’t she.” Sooyoung thinks that maybe she’s dreaming right now. It only takes them words for her to lose the rest of her control.

It’s like slow motion as her tongue comes in contact with Jinsoul’s sweat on her neck. The blonde moans into Bang’s mouth and the kiss become more aggressive as does the pull on Sooyoung’s hair. Sooyoung kisses up and down her neck and sucks right below her ear before biting on the lobe and tugging on it with her teeth, “ah Sooyoung…” She can’t believe her ears when she hears Jinsoul moan her name. 

Nibbling on the edge of it more she goes to bite down on the blonde’s skin at her shoulder and starts to suck where she left teeth marks. Jinsoul can’t even kiss Bang anymore since the feeling of Sooyoung’s softer, much softer lips suck and kiss on her just right. Sooyoung raises up and suddenly lips are on hers. It takes her a moment to realize that it’s Jinsoul kissing her. And it feels so good. She has two bodies against her and the prettiest’ lips sliding against her own.

Sooyoung simply ignores the fact it’s Jinsoul and kisses her deeper, she continues to dance and Jinsoul sighs into her mouth as she slowly locks lips with her. The kiss is probably the best one she’s ever had and the effects on her body is making her float with how high Jinsoul is making her. Sooyoung is grounded by the body behind her kissing on her neck and the hand pulling her closer. Jinsoul opens her mouth more and that’s when the fun really begins. 

Bang is leaned forward biting on Jinsoul’s collarbone while Jinsoul lets her mouth be explored by Sooyoung’s tongue. Jinsoul’s mouth is hot and the girl licks on her lips so nicely, like she couldn’t get enough of Sooyoung. The song had even turned sensual as Sooyoung basically rubbed her tongue against Jinsoul’s own before biting down on it, it makes the blonde whine so sweetly. Sooyoung pulls back to nibble and suck on her bottom lip.

Jinsoul still tries to fit her lips against her own but she’s not having any of it. She was going to make sure these lips were swollen. Trailing her hand up Jinsoul’s stomach she grabs the blonde’s tit and bites down hard when she feels she’s wearing no bra and her nipple is so hard it’s rubbing up against the palm of her hand. Sooyoung has kissed Jinsoul before but not like this, she knew it meant nothing more than just chasing that good feeling.

Sooyoung would never take it further than this with Jinsoul either because she was sure the blonde was so out of her mind right now she didn’t realize what she was doing. Sooyoung opens her mouth up again and lets Jinsoul do the same. The blonde’s tongue is desperate though along with her lips while Sooyoung kept it slow and sensual. She twists Jinsoul’s nipple between her fingers making the girl moan. It makes Sooyoung giggle into the kiss and she feels Bang get closer. He pushes the blonde further into her. 

Pulling away she thinks she’s kissed the blonde enough when she starts to feel drool run down her chin from how messy Jinsoul was getting. The blonde’s eyes open and Sooyoung can’t help but love the way they’re so glossy and full of pleasure right now, “no please don’t stop.” The plea is too hard to resist, Jinsoul’s voice is too sweet and she leans in to kiss her a few more times, it’s a bit slower this time, them just remembering what it feels like to kiss each other. 

Sooyoung finally breaks the lip lock when Jinsoul starts the tremble against her. Her bottom lip is locked between the blonde’s teeth and she groans out from the pain but a soft tongue comes around to lick it away. Jinsoul seems upset with the way she turns her head and Bang takes the opportunity to tease, “she’s a good kisser isn’t she?” Sooyoung watches him as he leans forward. Jinsoul is only nodding and telling him that she loved it. Sooyoung tries to not let it go to her head. 

Bang starts to kiss Jinsoul again and unlike the first time Jinsoul is way more into this time. Jinsoul grabs the back of his head while she arches into her. Sooyoung just drops her head and starts to toy with Jinsoul’s again, dragging her lips down along the sharp jawline that’s moving up and down because of the kiss. Jinsoul pulls back and then angles her head again chasing after her lips. Sooyoung lets her lips be assaulted but she doesn’t let Jinsoul deepen it.

But her friend desperately tries to do so, especially when Sooyoung starts to squeeze on her tit and claw at her skin on her stomach basically driving the blonde crazy. Bang is laughing as he bounces them side to side. Sooyoung is feeling tingly inside from the teeth biting down on her ear from behind. Sooyoung breaks the kiss for the last time feeling way too intoxicated and she knows it’s not from all of the stuff she’s done tonight but simply from the feeling of Jinsoul’s lips. The blonde is giving her this smirk and she bites down on her lip.

Bang yells over the music breaking them out of the little stare down they were having. Jinsoul’s eyes were so dark. She wonders if it’s the club lighting. “You don’t mind if my boyfriend kisses her do you?” Jinsoul’s grip on her head tightens and she pulls on her hair a little. Sooyoung tries to relax the clearly not consenting blonde and starts to kiss softly up and down on her neck. 

Jinsoul rubs her nails into her scalp and Sooyoung shudders at the situation listening closely as she sucks on the blonde’s jawline, “I don’t know what you guys are trying to do but we’re not sleeping with you.” The boys laugh and even Sooyoung loses it burying her face in the crook of Jinsoul’s neck snuggling her nose in the girl’s fluffy hair, the smell of coconuts was stronger. 

Bang snorts a bit and shakes her head, “baby we’re gay! We just think kissing is fun it doesn’t have to mean anything!” 

Sooyoung nods her head and brings her lips to Jinsoul’s ear, “relax, you’re thinking too much.” Sooyoung slowly brings her hand up, the one that was still holding Jinsoul’s titty and covers the blonde’s eyes. Jinsoul must have been close to panicking because she was shaking in her arms. “It’s just for fun. Don’t you like it? We can stop if you don’t.” Jinsoul instantly relaxes in her touch and lays her head back onto her shoulder. The blonde boy in front of her looks at her amazed at her control over Jinsoul.

“Just kissing?” Jinsoul mumbles out.

Sooyoung squeezes her hip for support, hopefully this wasn’t too much for Jinsoul. Sooyoung was afraid the high Jinsoul wouldn’t be disgusted by the fact they just made out like that. She wants Jinsoul to think it’s just kissing and nothing else, or then it would get to complicated. Sooyoung didn’t want to do that, “just a kiss.” Jinsoul nods and Sooyoung pulls her hand away. 

As soon as she does her jaw is pulled away from Jinsoul’s and rough lips come in contact with hers. Jinyoung is much more aggressive with her than Jinsoul was and really she doesn’t like it at all. She hated kissing people and she had a deeply buried reason for it. Sooyoung never wanted to forget the way Jinsoul’s lips felt on hers and she thought by kissing other people would make her lose that memory of sensation.

But it was burned on her mind now, she would never forget how perfect of a feeling and how wrong of one it was to not be kissing her best friend. Jinyoung was an amazing kisser, but he wasn’t Jinsoul. The warm body leaves her and Sooyoung turns around and wraps her arms around broad shoulders. This kiss doesn’t last long, not even half as long as hers and Jinsoul’s kisses. Sooyoung pulls away with a smile on her face. Jinyoung is cheesing too but not at her. It’s at his boyfriend.

The taller boy lets go of her and strides over to where he’s dancing with Jinsoul and brings his face close and the two start to kiss passionately. Jinsoul is pouting at Sooyoung for some reason. Walking over to her while dancing she questions her, “what’s wrong!” The beat of the song was really nice but Jinsoul was just standing there with her arms crossed. Jinsoul shakes her head and then comes close to her. 

“Who’s a better kisser?” Jinsoul asks her quietly and Sooyoung rolls her eyes. She couldn’t believe Jinsoul would ask such a question. 

Pumping her arms up she answers, “you duh!” Jinsoul smiles and hugs her closely jumping up and down.

“Ah Sooyoung you’re such a good friend!” Sooyoung thinks Jinsoul’s a bit fruity but she’ll ignore it and blame it on the alcohol and weed, oh and whatever the hell Bang gave them. They start dancing again but it’s not erotic anymore. Just two girls having the time of their life at the gay club. More shots are taken and more men dance with them but they don’t try to kiss them. Bang gives them more of that stuff that Sooyoung learned that was called poppers. 

It was probably the most fun night of her life and Jinsoul was right by her side laughing and smiling. After what it seems like forever, the club finally starts winding down and the dance floor gets emptier. Sooyoung is sobering up and so is Jinsoul. For now they’re just chilling at the bar sipping on some lemonade. Sooyoung is beat, she hasn’t danced this hard in forever and she feels like she just ran a marathon. Leaning over to Jinsoul she whispers in the blonde’s ear, “you ready to go?” 

Jinsoul nods and takes a big drink of her lemonade making her cheeks puff up. Sooyoung smiles and helps her up and goes back to the VIP room where the couple was at. They’re smoking weed again seemingly winding down as well, “hey bitches!” Sooyoung smiles at Bang’s deep voice and waves. They offer her the bong again and Sooyoung declines. They had practice tomorrow. 

“We’re going to head out actually, thank you for everything it was so fun.” They frown and fake some tears. Sooyoung rolls her eyes as they stand up to give them a hug each. She groans when Jinyoung even lifts her up. 

Putting her down her suggests, “we gotta go out again! Maybe a double date or something!” Sooyoung blushes and tells him she’ll contact him somehow. She doesn’t even want to look at Jinsoul’s reaction. Turning around after saying a few more goodbyes she searches for Jinsoul’s hand. The girl is quiet as she drags them out the dark club and Sooyoung has to squint her eyes since the sun is starting to rise.

Stumbling out onto the concrete she realizes she’s still a bit drunk. Turning around to Jinsoul she bursts out in laughing at how fuzzy her hair is and how still very drunk she is. Sooyoung lowers herself and pats on her shoulders. The blonde is confused at first and after five minutes of slow explanations from Sooyoung she climbs on. Sooyoung starts to carry them home as Jinsoul falls asleep on her back. 

Sooyoung manages to get them to a bus stop without falling, only after almost dropping the blonde several times. Shaking the body on hers she softly calls out, “Jinsoul.” She smiles when she hears a faint groan behind her. “We’re going to take the bus okay?” Jinsoul just snuggles her face into her neck further and it makes Sooyoung roll her eyes when she hears a small snore. Instead she drops the blonde of her back…gently. Jinsoul is now screaming and crying at her like a little kid. Sooyoung tries to pick her up but Jinsoul slaps her hands away. Somebody was becoming a bit of a grumpy drunk. 

Sooyoung is thankful when they finally make it home because Jinsoul talked her head off the whole bus ride back. She was being so loud and clingy that a lot of the early morning old people were staring at them. Sooyoung had to control her friend for every time she got close she tried to kiss her on the cheek or somewhere on her face. Now Sooyoung was dragging Jinsoul up to her house, the sun still wasn’t up but it would be soon.

Hopefully they wouldn’t wake anyone up. Quietly opening up the door she sneaks inside with Jinsoul right behind her. She’s about to lead them upstairs before the blonde whisper screams out, “I’m hungry.” Sooyoung closes her eyes in frustration, but she isn’t mad. She remembers the small plate of carrots the girl had. Of course she was gonna feed her, she must have been starving. Leading her quietly to the kitchen she sits her down.

“What do you want?” Jinsoul is out of it, her eyes are droopy and she’s swaying around. Wiping the blonde’s face rid of sweat and makeup and tucking her damp hair behind her ears she waits for her answer.

Jinsoul blinks, “egg.”

“Egg?” Sooyoung repeats. 

The blonde nods slowly, “egg.”

“Just an egg, like what kind.” Jinsoul thinks for a moment her finger tapping on her chin cutely.

“You know like peel an egg for me.” Sooyoung understands. Jinsoul wanted boiled eggs. Patting on her head she goes to get the pot out, only for it to fall to the ground and make a horrible noise. Sooyoung stares at it as it rolls off, she cringes when she hears her Granma yell. Jinsoul is laughing as Sooyoung gets her ass beat.

Five minutes later Jinsoul is playing with Haneul while she’s rubbing at her head that was slapped. But her Granma is fixing them food. Fried noodles and eggs. They sit silently with the exception of the dog’s nails on the floor and the funny noises Jinsoul’s making at it to make it wiggle it’s whole body. All the sudden hot food it placed in front of them and Jinsoul thanks her Granma a thousand times as the woman goes back to the couch. 

The T.V comes on as they both start to chow down. Sooyoung didn’t even realize how hungry she was. Looking over at Jinsoul she stops chewing when she sees the girl suck in a mouth full of noodles with an angry face, “slow down you might choke.” Jinsoul only glares at her and continues eating like a maniac without breathing while Sooyoung slowly takes a few more bites starting to get sleepy. 

Jinsoul pats on her stomach after she’s done and burps like a grown man. Sooyoung smiles a bit when Jinsoul gets embarrassed by her behavior. Sooyoung cleans their dishes up and finally is able to lead Jinsoul upstairs and into her room. Sooyoung is changing out of her clothes when Jinsoul quietly asks, “I bet you bring a lot of girls home from the club don’t you.” Sooyoung almost wants to ignore the question.

Answering truthfully she pulls an oversized hoodie over her head, “no, I can’t remember the last time I had a girl over, I don’t trust anyone enough.” Jinsoul looks at her weirdly as she shoves some pajamas into her hands. Sooyoung pulls her hair back as she crawls in her bed. Sighing out she relaxes instantly loving how comfy her bed is. Soon someone is joining her under the sheets and she doesn’t even open her eyes. Only flipping over to face them. 

Sooyoung doesn’t even fight off the clingy hands as they pull her closer. She was fully clothed anyways. Settling in with her arms around Jinsoul’s waist and her head resting on top of hers she starts to drift off to sleep until a quiet voice wakes her back up, “Sooyoung?” She grunts in response and tries to not focus on the hot breath around her neck. “I love you.” Smiling she says it back. Because she really means it. She’s just not sure in what way.

She loved Jinsoul as a person, as her friend. Nothing more she starts to change her mind. She loved Jinsoul as nothing more as her bestest friend. 

When she falls asleep she only dreams of a sweet smile and even a sweeter pair of lips.

Sooyoung doesn’t know what time she wakes up but it’s hot, really hot and she’s sweating, “yo you think they’re alive.” Jinsoul was on top of her suffocating, the blonde snoring loudly her face buried in her sticky neck. Sooyoung was sprawled out on the mattress while Jinsoul was only using her as a pillow. “Pour the water on them.” Sooyoung groans out and waves one of her arms, stirring the blonde awake in the process. 

Opening one eye she uses it to glare at one of twins, Hyejoo and Hyunjin. The oldest one gestures for Hyejoo to put down the bucket of water. “Sooyoung we have practice in thirty.” Smacking her incredibly dry lips she throws an arm around Jinsoul and squeezes her. She was starting to get really attached to her again. Even though it was hot Sooyoung didn’t want to untangle from Jinsoul.

Closing her eye she figures she can go back to sleep because her sister was definitely lying, “it’s not ‘til seven at night leave me alone.”

Her forehead is slapped and she squints her eyes open ready to cuss her sister out. Her eyes peel open when she reads the clock, it was six in the afternoon. Raising up she makes the blonde whine out as well. Clearly upset from her comfort being disturbed. Slapping her cheek she slowly wakes up Jinsoul whose hair and makeup was a mess, but she couldn’t had been any more beautiful. Sooyoung blushes at the bite mark on Jinsoul’s shoulder, it was her bite mark. 

Sooyoung gets up and goes to grab some clothes, and throws some to Jinsoul. She really needed a shower or two. Walking into the bathroom she goes to close the door but Jinsoul is right behind her. “What are you doing?” Jinsoul still looks a little sleepy.

“Showering?” She says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Sooyoung is at a loss of words, “I am right now just wait.”

Jinsoul narrows her eyes and pushes in anyways, Sooyoung is about to just give up and leave, “I know.”

“Woah Jinsoul way to be an ass.” She sighs out and goes to leave but Jinsoul grabs her.

Turning she raises a brow at the girl, “are you not going to shower with me?” Sooyoung’s jaw drops and she wishes it didn’t because Jinsoul smirks at her.

“Uh why would I do that?” Sooyoung hates how tiny her voice is right now. She shouldn’t get this tore up from the thought of showering with Jinsoul. She’s never really seen Jinsoul naked, only in her underwear but still it shouldn’t have this effect on her. Best friends shower together all the time.

Jinsoul shrugs and closes the door behind them starting to strip, “it’ll save time and water I won’t look if you promise not to.” Sooyoung doesn’t have to promise because she’s already looking away when Jinsoul’s borrowed oversized t-shirt comes off. From the corner of her eye, she watches Jinsoul pull her shorts down and turn around, walking towards the shower. Sooyoung waits for her to get in but the blonde is bumping around, “Sooyoung how do you work this thing, you’ve changed it.”

Sooyoung is staring at her feet and she’s starting to sweat, “um you jiggle the knob a bit to the left and it hit it in.” She hears a few more bumps and then the blonde sighs.

“It’s not working.” Sooyoung huffs and covers her eyes to blindly walk towards the shower. Jinsoul is still in the way so she reaches forward to push her out of the way only for her hand to come in contact with something soft and perky. Cursing she pulls back and Jinsoul giggles, “you had no problem touching them last night.” Sooyoung turns blood red and opens her eyes to only stare at the shower nozzle. 

Sooyoung was embarrassed remembering some of last night’s events, like her making out with Jinsoul and the blonde had clearly remembered them doing so too. “I was crossfaded, it was just having fun.” She makes up an excuse.

Jinsoul hums behind her as the water starts to run, “you don’t have to get so strung up Sooyoung. We were dancing its fine.” Jinsoul seems a bit upset from her reaction. Sooyoung closes her eyes again and lets Jinsoul get in and close the curtain. Sooyoung starts to strip as well. She informs Jinsoul she’s coming in and makes sure she doesn’t bump or look at the blonde as she steps in.

Sooyoung takes the time to wash her face rid of sweat and grease. They simply maneuver around each other and gasp whenever there’s a contact of skin. Sooyoung is washing her hair when Jinsoul lowly speaks out, “you are a really good kisser by the way.” Sooyoung can’t help but smile. She can’t believe Jinsoul was still thinking about it, but she didn’t blame her. Straight boys didn’t really know how to do anything.

She scratches at her scalp lathering the shampoo up. “Thanks you too.” 

It’s silent again after that like they’re afraid of saying anything. Sooyoung knows she should dwell on it. She’s kissed plenty of her friends platonically. Jinsoul was just another one of those friends. That kiss was from being lost in the moment and seeking pleasure that came with the use of recreational drugs. Kissing girls was exciting and fun. Jinsoul probably had never experienced it.

“Last night was really fun, I never really get to do stuff like that.” Sooyoung frowns at the sad tone of her friend and finishes rinsing her hair out. She stands there and waits for Jinsoul to finish because the blonde kept stuttering over words. Finally she gets them out, “I never do what I want, even when I’m around my friends I still feel so alone. It’s like I’m not even there.” 

Sooyoung silently listens to her and lets her know by reaching behind her and grabbing her hand, “I’ve been so alone Sooyoung. In that stupid fucking house, Chaewon hates it too but I have nowhere to go like she does, my friends don’t even call to check up on me.” Sooyoung realizes that she and Jinsoul were a different kind of lonely. In public Jinsoul was surrounded by people but on the inside the blonde had no one. Sooyoung steered people away but she had loving family and close friends that would drop anything for her.

Jinsoul continues her rant with a squeeze of her hand, “I mean most the time I just spend is on that damn telescope. If I didn’t have you it’d be my best friend.” Sooyoung snorts even though it’s a sad statement. Jinsoul must have had a hard time all these years. Sooyoung wonders why she was pushed aside when Jinsoul seemed to want her around. 

“But you pay attention to me. You actually care about me, it’s like your goal to make me happy and you’re successful almost every damn time. Other people just seem to care for the person that’s supposed to be me. The person my parents want me to be. But you, it’s like you always know how to bring me out of that shell without making me uncomfortable.” Sooyoung almost can’t stand it anymore and she turns around and stares at the back of Jinsoul’s damp head. The blonde has it hanged low. “You make me confident in being myself.” 

Sooyoung holds her breath as Jinsoul turns around as well and Sooyoung doesn’t even have the urge to look down, all she wants to stare at is Jinsoul’s eyes. Because they were the most beautiful part of her. Besides what was inside, but Sooyoung didn’t want to be cheesy like that. Sooyoung whispers it out like there were people listening to them, “it should feel natural to be yourself, it’s my responsibility to show you fun and to make sure you never feel alone like that. I’m supposed to care about you, I have always haven’t I?” 

Jinsoul was following her dreams because of Sooyoung, Jinsoul was finally feeling like herself again because of Sooyoung, finally she was finding happiness again because of her.

The older girl tilts her head at the oddly quiet blonde. There was a reason Sooyoung still didn’t know but the mention of Jinsoul’s parents she starts to wonder if they’re the cause of Jinsoul’s distance all those years. Sooyoung was hated by them, they would always tell Jinsoul to make her leave when she was over. Maybe they got tired of Sooyoung, she couldn’t help but hate Jinsoul’s parents. They made their own daughter to not feel comfortable in her own skin, to spend a crucial part of her life alone, and even tried to take away the blonde’s dreams. 

Wiping Jinsoul’s makeup off from under her eye she softly tells her, “Tomorrow if you’re free we can do whatever you like. Okay?” Jinsoul glances up at her with puppy eyes and it makes Sooyoung swoon. She even forgets they’re naked in the shower. “It’s time for Jung Jinsoul to live her life the way she wants to.” The blonde smiles at her words and awkwardly pushes her off. 

She cheeses widely at Jinsoul and pesters her a bit making the blonde scream out in annoyance. Sooyoung starts to realize that Jinsoul needed her as a friend more than anything.

Even more than she needed her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Say Say don’t give up!


	11. Birthday Girl

Her vision was cloudy and her mind was fuzzy. Rubbing down her face she stares at her reflection in the mirror. Who was she? She wasn’t for sure anymore. Ever since she’s laid her lips onto Ha Sooyoung’s she's had become unsure of who she was, and it was nobody’s fault but hers. Twisting her blonde hair between her fingertips she giggles, she thinks she’s gone crazy.

She’s still bent up on Sooyoung but the girl wanted nothing to do with her, so she’s drowned herself in passing feelings. Alcohol, sex, partying you name it. All these things just to get the girl off her mind. But at the end of the night when she was alone in her bed or with a sweaty body next to hers she’d sob. It was nothing in particular, it was just this empty feeling.

Maybe this was her first heartbreak?

Smudging her eyeliner for sure she tries to not break out into a fit. She can’t even recognize herself. She’s changed so much in the past few months. Or maybe this was just her worst. No one’s ever brought her this low. But Sooyoung had stripped her down and exposed all the raw insecurities and flaws out of her. She couldn’t help but still be in love with her.

Sooyoung was nothing like anyone said she was. The small glimpses of the girl’s true side had her obsessing. The taller girl was definitely crush material with the cool as ice attitude and chic charm anyone could have easily fallen into her. But instead she found herself falling for the goofy banter and warm affection that came behind closed doors with Sooyoung. No one was perfect as Sooyoung, except one person.

And that was the almighty Jung Jinsoul.

Haseul scoffs at the mirror. She used to admire the girl. Jinsoul was a bit weird…always awkward and conversations would become stiff quickly. But the girl had this unique charm about her. A charm that no matter how cringey she became it still came off cute. Her awkward manners were endearing and her selfless and kind actions always were notable. Haseul had come to hate her, while simultaneously trying to be her.

Her brown hair, now blonde. Her usual light makeup, now darker like the blonde’s. Her wardrobe had become more monotone. She had the look down but she couldn’t match Jinsoul’s personality. Haseul was too mature to act like the childish blonde, she was too outgoing to act like a recluse dork. She simply couldn’t be Jinsoul. No matter how hard she tried. Haseul knew she had a better personality than Jinsoul, she’d been around the blonde for years. People talked to her while ignoring Jinsoul.

Jinsoul was easily forgettable.

Haseul noticed how Jinsoul was no one’s favorite, how people always put her to the side. Jinsoul was a pushover too so that’s where she stayed. Always second choice. That was until Sooyoung though. No one would ever be Sooyoung’s first choice except Jinsoul. Haseul wondered what it was about the blonde. What was so special about her that caught Ha Sooyoung’s eye? Haseul has driven herself crazy trying to figure out why she isn’t good enough.

Shaking her head she slams one of her fists down on the counters. Sooyoung will be hers one of these days. No matter what. After splashing water on her face she makes it back out into the party. Into the humid living room, only lit by a few house lamps. Too many smelly bodies, but none of them were Sooyoung. 

“AH SOOYOUNG IT HURTS!” Sooyoung is on top of Jinsoul trying her best to get the blonde to submit. Biting her lip she pushes harder, trying to get it to pop. 

Chaewon held her sister down while Sooyoung tries to get a zit right in the middle of Jinsoul’s forehead. The blonde was squirming and whining, she was hard to keep still but Sooyoung almost had the nasty stuff out of her pore. “Stop moving around you big baby!” Jinsoul screams again and thrashes her head side to side making it more difficult for Sooyoung to work. 

She was straddling Jinsoul’s torso while Chaewon held down her shoulders. Jinsoul was kicking her feet all over the place and Sooyoung was starting to get pissed. “Do you wanna be pretty or not?” The blonde stops moving and gives Sooyoung an evil glare. It’s enough time for Sooyoung to successfully pop the pimple though. Jinsoul cries out and Sooyoung tries to relax her by shushing her and leaning down to kiss beside the swollen spot.

What Haseul didn’t know was that Jung Jinsoul is very different with the people she trusted. And Sooyoung was one of the only people that were lucky to see that. 

“Would I really be ugly with a pimple?” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and crawls off of the girl while reaching for the tweezers. Her and the Jung sisters were having a little old fashioned sleepover and she couldn’t be happier. Patting her lap Jinsoul crawls over and lays her head down on her legs. Sooyoung smiles and starts to thread her fingers through the soft blonde strands while massaging her scalp.

Chaewon comes behind her and hangs off of her while she gets some of Jinsoul’s unibrow hairs. “No dumbass, it’s a pimple but if you had a cleft lip...” Jinsoul smiles a bit but then she frowns once she realizes what her sister said. Sooyoung bumps her head with Chaewon’s showing her disapproval.

Winking at Jinsoul she tells her the truth, “Jinsoul you’d be pretty no matter what.” She answers softly.

The girl’s smile forms again and Sooyoung can feel her heart melt at the blonde kicking her feet, “even with a cleft lip?”

Sooyoung snorts as she plucks one of the hairs, “yes even with a cleft lip.” Chaewon groans and falls back to the bed as Sooyoung continues to give Jinsoul a little touch-up. They were all in matching pajamas, Jinsoul’s idea. And were watching cartoons, Chaewon’s idea. And Sooyoung was simply happy to be around the two.

Smirking when Jinsoul winces at a particular hair getting plucked she dumbly states out, “but you would be ugly with a monobrow so…” Jinsoul whines and throws her arm back trying to hit Sooyoung but the girl dodges it. Chaewon continues to blabber on about her weirdly eventful life while Sooyoung focuses on the scattered black hairs. She doesn’t notice how Jinsoul is staring at her with wide eyes. 

The oldest girl groans when Chaewon pulls on her ear, “hey dummie are you coming to the party?” Sooyoung hums, she didn’t know anything about no party. Laying her hand to the side she turns to look at the blonde that went back to hanging off her back. 

Raising a brow she asks, “what party?” She wasn’t interested in parties really. She hated a house party. They weren’t fun and Sooyoung only liked getting drunk if she knew she was gonna dance so she’d much rather just go to the club instead of some stranger’s house where the liquor was gross, the music was bad, and the people were boring. There was too much talking, too much drama, and too little of dancing. 

Haseul was sat on the couch watching the four people in the living room bounce around. They were all incredibility drunk and it was embarrassing to watch. Beside her sat Doyeon who was droning on to this one girl who was clearly into her. Haseul didn’t care though, she didn’t have any feelings for Doyeon. They were just using each other, for what reasons? She wasn’t for sure all she knew was the red-headed girl made her feel good, better than anyone else.

She kept sipping on her drink slowly descending further down. Doyeon jabs her in the ribs and she’s about to cuss the girl out before she spots two guys coming towards where they’re sitting. Haseul recognizes both of them. One of them is Jinsoul’s date from that one day, her boyfriend she was assuming. But that was so long ago. The other was Jackson Wang one of Jinsoul’s friends.

Doyeon greets both of them, Jackson with a hug and the mystery guy…with a kiss. Maybe it wasn’t Jinsoul’s boyfriend anymore. Slowly taking in his appearance while Doyeon becomes fixated on him while ignoring the short haired girl that was now giving her pouty eyes she notices how rich he looks. Jackson was just in jeans and a tight shirt. This guy was in a crisp black button up and black dress pants. 

Weird for a hot summer night. Haseul notices how neat his outfit is but his hair is a bit messy. Maybe it was his style. He had a rolex on and also something very shiny…on his wedding finger. The guy just screamed _entitled asshole_ with the way he wasn’t paying attention to anything Doyeon said, he was just looking around the party, mostly at girl’s asses. 

He was handsome though, he had a five o’clock shadow and his face was well kept. Haseul couldn’t deny he was very attractive. Doyeon turns and leans on the guy’s shoulder, “Seul this is Kwon Hyuk!” The guy finally notices her and she holds her breath at how dark his eyes are. There was nothing good in them, she could tell the man had ill intentions on coming to this party. He wanted to get laid and nothing more. There was not friendliest or softness in them. Just lust. 

His full lips come up to a smirk and he shrugs Doyeon off his shoulder he steps forward and reaches out his hand, “you can call me Dean.” That’s when Haseul realizes how much of a big deal this guy is.

Grabbing his hand she shivers at how cold it was, “Dean as in?” 

He smiles and shakes his head, he was becoming much more charming. “Ah I’m just a regular guy, don’t let my status intimidate you.” Dean was this famous artist, he was pretty known around the city and a lot of girls went crazy about him. Looking around she notices all the eyes on them. His voice was gold and his look was all bad boy. Of course Haseul was already getting sucked in. 

Doyeon comes up behind him, “this is Haseul, she’s pretty isn’t she?” Haseul blushes and pulls her hand away, Dean only smiles wider. Haseul thought tonight would be just like any other night. But the stare she was receiving was telling her otherwise.

He licks his lips and asks a question she doesn’t know how to answer, “You want to go someplace quiet Haseul?”

Sooyoung was laughing at the two girls playing Just Dance on the Wii. Chaewon was winning because she kept shoving Jinsoul causing the girl to miss some moves. Jinsoul would stop to scream at her sister while the other blonde just kept going, nearing a perfect score. Wanting to help Jinsoul out she jumps up and steals the still griping girl’s remote and starts to do the moves on the screen. 

Chaewon curses and tries to push her but Sooyoung only blocks her and pushes her back herself. Jinsoul starts to get it and goes to pull her sister away entirely from the screen. Sooyoung hardly can keep the laugh in as the sisters start to cat fight. She ends up winning the game and goes to watch the two now on the carpet pulling each other’s hair while scratching and screaming.

Jinsoul is the first one to whine out, “help me Sooyoung!”

Chaewon shortly follows, “no help me!” Sooyoung does neither and goes back to relax on the bed. She’s laying on her side with her head propped up by her hand. They continue to fight until Chaewon actually slaps Jinsoul and the girl starts to cry a bit. Sooyoung has to force herself to not go over and break the fight up just so she can baby Jinsoul. 

They break apart themselves and simultaneously look at Sooyoung. She raises a brow at the blondes until they look back at each other with knowing smirks. Her eyes widen as she gets in a defensive stance her hands and feet up while screaming at the giggling blondes. This is not how she expected things to go. Moments later she finds herself writhing around while Jinsoul’s fingers are digging into her waist and Chaewon has her in a head lock. She’s laughing so hard it hurts.

Haseul was wrong about Dean. Here she was thinking this guy was the hot shit, charming and sexy. His voice was deep and smooth and the way he danced on her just an hour ago had her soaking wet. She was falling into him, he was too hard to resist. He pulled them up to an empty room and it started to happen. She was almost desperate when his lips met hers. 

The clothes started falling and her breath stuttered as she felt his muscles under her finger tips flex. The real fun began when she reached lower and felt how big he was. Dean was aggressive as he pushed her onto the bed. She was panting by the time he climbed on top of her, ripping off her panties in the process. Next came his underwear and Haseul let her mouth drop at the length bouncing. 

Suddenly a condom is in his teeth and he’s ripping it open. She takes the lead and grabs it from him and slowly reaches down to roll it over the tip and down. Haseul moans as she jerks it a bit and takes his fingers in her mouth but when she tastes metal and pulls back to eye the ring on his finger. She had forgotten about that.

Being pushed back on her back, he lines the tip up and is about to dive in but freezes when she asks, “you sure she won’t mind?” The guy eyes her finger that’s pointing to the ring. Haseul hopes it’s a fake or something and she could continue on and get fucked by the sexiest guy in the city. But she was wrong…very wrong.

Now she was yawning while rubbing up and down the sobbing guy’s back. His dick went limp after the question and he started crying like a baby. She was dressed again while he was just in his socks and underwear. Haseul wanted to get her clap on, not be some guy’s shoulder to cry on. She felt stuck though like she couldn’t just leave him here. That would be rude right?

He brings his face out of his hands and looks at her, “I’m sorry…” She shrugs and smiles. Although she’d like to cuss him out for not giving her what she wanted. He brings the hand up and spreads his fingers. The ring is gold, it’s definitely a wedding ring. “The thing is she wouldn’t mind, she doesn’t give one shit about me.” Haseul frowns but it’s genuine. She was in a similar situation. Dean was probably the same as her in love with somebody that doesn’t want them and using quick fixes to try and fill that emptiness.

“We’ve been dating for years but she hates me.” Haseul thinks Jinsoul must have been one of those quick fixes for him. She wonders why the girl hates him though. Was there something wrong with him besides being a pussy? “I mean we’re engaged and she gets disgusted when we kiss and we haven’t even had sex,” he rolls his eyes and takes the ring off throwing it somewhere in the room. “But she says she’s saving it for the marriage.” Haseul is confused now, there was something fishy about all of this.

He goes on and on about the girl. How she’s distant and wants nothing to do with him. It sounds like the guy is just obsessed and the girl is only in for it for the fame or maybe the money. Haseul also starts to realize what’s wrong with the guy, he’s self-centered, so egotistical that it’s scary. Was she becoming like this? He kept saying he would get her to submit to him, to finally love him because he was better than everyone else. Wasn’t that what she tried to do with Sooyoung?

No…she was nothing like this guy. He used people to blow up his already big ego, not trying to fill his non-existent one like she was. He didn’t really care about this girl with the way he was talking so poorly about her. It was more of a game to him, one that he was losing. He just wanted to win her over so he could finally have that pride over himself. That must be the reason why he’s trying to get married to her. Then the girl would be forever tied with him in some way, even if they did divorce down the road.

He then stomps across the room and grabs his phone only to come back over to her. He opens it up and taps again. Haseul waits and her heart sinks as she stares at the picture on the screen. It’s Jung Jinsoul, looking pretty uncomfortable as Dean is kissing her on the cheek. “That’s her.” Haseul swallows the tension down her throat and nods. Suddenly she’s getting sick to her stomach. 

“What girl wouldn’t be into me, I’ve had ever bitch in the city.” Haseul shakes her head. No wonder this was all so weird. Haseul starts to scoot away from him as he rambles on about how much he can’t stand her but is in love with her at the same time. Haseul knows it isn’t love, it’s infatuation. She wants to start running as soon as she can. This situation was so much worse now. Doyeon didn’t tell her she had a crazy fiancé. They’ve been piling up shit about Sooyoung and Jinsoul for some reason and Haseul thinks she finally starting to understand.

But she also understands if Dean were to find out about Sooyoung. It would not end nicely. But deep down Haseul knows that this would be her chance. To throw Jinsoul under the bus and take Sooyoung as her own. Sooyoung had no business liking a girl who would never be hers. She was wasting her time and her feelings.

Standing up she quickly tells the man she has to use the bathroom and leaves the room ignoring his protests. Haseul makes her way through the party and spots Doyeon now back to talking to that girl. Grabbing the taller girl’s hand she starts to tug her away but not without Doyeon resisting, “hey, hey what’s up?” Haseul widens her eyes and gives her the look, the one that says _let’s get the fuck out of here._

The girl understands and nods starting to let the girl drag her away but not before turning to yell out, “I’ll call you!” Haseul didn’t give a shit about the little troll Doyeon was talking to. They had more important matters to handle. They walk to Doyeon’s bike hand in hand, Haseul was trying to sort out the thoughts in her head. When they reach the black and red motorcycle Doyeon pulls them to a stop, “okay what’s your deal?” 

“So I just met Jinsoul’s fiancé.” Doyeon totally knew, especially the way her frown morphs into a sinister smile. They share a look. It’s all falling into place now. Why she and Doyeon were meant to be together in this moment. 

Sooyoung was cuddled up to Chaewon as they watched the T.V in the girl’s room. The younger blonde’s room was decorated with posters from video games and cute anime girls. It was pink and mint green. The girl had a collection of FunkoPop dolls and amibo’s. She also had an arrangement of video game consoles. Sooyoung knew the girl hardly played them but they were still there for whatever reason. 

Jinsoul was on the edge of the bed focused on the show they were watching. Sooyoung could feel her heart being squeezed every time she heard the girl giggle or make a funny noise whenever something weird happened. The girl would turn around to them and point to the screen repeating what just happened as if they weren’t watching too. Sooyoung and Chaewon would just mock her, but quiet enough so she wouldn’t hear them and be embarrassed. 

Sooyoung found it so adorable. It was like Jinsoul’s hadn’t changed one bit. Chaewon is making fun of her sister when she turns around and the blonde quickly shuts her mouth. Jinsoul has her eyes narrowed at the both of them while Sooyoung tries to not break out into a fit of laughter. Chaewon’s brows are raised so high and Jinsoul’s are turned down.

The oldest between the three shivers when Jinsoul speaks, her voice is so low and it drives her a little crazy on how deep it can get. “Do it again and I’ll kill you.” Jinsoul found out about the mocking and her aggression strikes fear in Sooyoung’s heart but also ignites something else down below. Sooyoung reminds herself that she’s figured out her feelings for Jinsoul…and they’re not romantic, she knows that for sure. But convincing herself that the sexual ones didn’t exist was a bit hard, “the same goes for you Sooyoung.” 

They both pretend to be scared which pisses the blonde off. Sooyoung likes it, so she teases her some more, “oh no Chae what are we gonna do? She’s mad.” 

The blonde cuddles up closer and snorts, “I don’t know Soo I’m so scared soooo scared.” Jinsoul rolls her eyes and turns back to the T.V. They start to whisper nonsense behind her making the blonde skeptical. They’re not saying anything in particular but it’s so low Jinsoul can’t tell and whips her head around. They both scream obnoxiously making her furious.

When she starts to crawl towards them they act like they’re about to be murdered but Sooyoung can’t keep it up when Jinsoul nudges her, “Sooyoung…I want to cuddle too.” She tries to play it off as if she isn’t affected by the pouty lips and puffed up cheeks. She gives Jinsoul an unpleasant look but her resolve breaks when the eyebrows turn upwards. Chaewon voices her disappointment when she turns over onto her back and offers her other arm and side to the blonde. 

Jinsoul smiles widely while biting her tongue as she goes to snuggle up to Sooyoung’s side. The older girl can’t help but smile with her not even noticing how her eyes light up as she stares into Jinsoul’s own twinkly eyes. Chaewon watches with disgust as the two beside her baby talk each other while giving the googly eyes. She huffs and goes back to watching the show trying to not pay attention to her sister and best friend.

Sooyoung sighs out and goes to lay her head on the pillow. There was nothing better than doing this on a Saturday night, both her best girls laying perfectly in her side. She tries to focus on the T.V but Jinsoul’s body is so warm next to hers. Her own body heats up when the blonde leans over to plant a kiss on her cheek. She closes her eyes to try and embed the feeling of Jinsoul’s soft lips against her skin but it’s ruined by a squeaky voice, “okay you guys are being gay get out.” 

Opening her eyes she stares at Chaewon who is now leaning up with her arms crossed. “I’m not gonna sit here and watch y’all kiss and be all touchy and shit get out.” 

“but-.”

“GET OUT NOW HOMOS!!!” Both Sooyoung and Jinsoul scramble out of the bed and out of the room. The door is slammed behind them and they stare at it. 

Chaewon sighs out and then laughs going to jump back on her bed. She didn’t really want them to go but YooA was trying to face time her and she knew Sooyoung would try to hit on her. Chaewon didn’t want her sister to get hurt about it because she knew the situation. Sooyoung was stupid but she liked the drama so she’d keep her mouth shut about Jinsoul’s little crush on her best friend like she has for the past nine years. 

Deep down Chaewon knew she could have had them dating already but Jinsoul was stubborn and Sooyoung was just…Sooyoung. But she wasn’t going to sit around and let her be stupid enough to flirt with other girls while Jinsoul was right there. They needed some private time anyways. 

Sooyoung shrugs and starts to head to Jinsoul’s room the blonde closely follows behind her blabbering on about how they should bust down Chaewon’s door and give her a smack down. Sooyoung only ignores her and continues down the hallway and into Jinsoul’s spacious room, it was twice as big as her own. 

Waiting for Jinsoul to stumble in as well she shuts it and brings her body closer to the other girl’s, “I’m a little sleepy now let’s just go to bed.” Jinsoul visibly swallows at the proximity of Sooyoung’s face to hers and nods. Sooyoung only smiles and backs away. Jinsoul hums as she hesitantly nears her bed and plops down on it she doesn’t necessarily know what Sooyoung’s doing until she starts to take off the pajamas.

It was way too hot to sleep in pajama’s for Sooyoung so she was just gonna throw on one of Jinsoul’s many t-shirts. She doesn’t notice how Jinsoul is almost drooling as she rakes her eyes up and down her body. After Sooyoung is finished getting under dressed she turns to a suddenly shy blonde. Jinsoul was looking down at the floor, messing around with the strings to her pajama bottoms. 

Sooyoung smiles as she takes a running go and jumps on top of the girl. Sooyoung giggles as Jinsoul tries to break free from the tight grip she has on her. Jinsoul usually wins the fights but this one she in the lead with the way Jinsoul couldn’t break loose. Flipping over on top of the girl she pins her arms above her head and smiles devilishly. 

Jinsoul is breathing a bit hard and Sooyoung’s smile fades once she starts to get entranced by the pretty features. Her hearts starts to hammer against her chest and her stomach gets weak. Laughing off the nerves she rolls off and flips over so her back was facing Jinsoul. Bringing her hands up she claps twice making the lights in the room go off, now the only thing on was the little sun nightlight on Jinsoul’s desk. “Goodnight Jinsoul.” 

It's quiet for several minutes, she buried herself underneath the sheets as Jinsoul did the same. Now she was just listening to the blonde breathe, but she could tell she wasn’t sleeping with the way it was short and ragged. It’s only a few more minutes when Jinsoul starts to move around and Sooyoung tries to not gasp when hands start to wrap around her waist and pull her closer.

Sooyoung tries to not freak out, Jinsoul was only spooning her. It wasn’t that big of a deal, well it isn’t until Jinsoul brings her hands to the hem of the t-shirt. She tries to not shiver as Jinsoul drags her cold hands up her torso and rests them on her tummy. She knows the girl can probably feel the goosebumps on her skin. Sooyoung gets bit more comfortable leaning into the blonde’s body as the arms wrap safely around her.

She lets her breath even out and believes finally she can go to sleep but Jinsoul interrupts her one last time, “are you going to come to the party?” Her voice is deep and raspy from the sleepiness. Sooyoung thinks for a moment, she didn’t particularly like parties but this was Jinsoul’s. The girl threw one for every one of her birthdays and the empty house would be filled with people and noise.

Sooyoung had come to a few during her teenage years but would always leave shortly after since she only came to try and find the then dark headed girl. Jinsoul would always lock herself in her room though, trying to escape from someone. Sooyoung thinks maybe it was her, or maybe Jinsoul even had someone in her room and when Sooyoung would beat on the door the girl would ignore it. 

This year, Sooyoung knows it’ll be different, “of course I’ll come.” She hears a squeak behind her and slowly she’s squeezed tighter. Her last thought of the night is how right is feels to be in Jinsoul’s arms.

Jinsoul thinks the same. But neither of them have the courage to admit it.

… 

Sooyoung is checking herself out in the review mirror of someone’s car. The house in front of her was booming with music and shining with lights. It was a drastic difference from the usually dark drive way and the only noise being the crickets. She put a little more effort in tonight for the party for no reason…well maybe it was for, Sooyoung shakes her head and straightens up.

She might have dug through her sister’s closet to find something a little cuter. So now she was in a loose pink crop top and whatever jean skirt that could fit her. Hiding Jinsoul’s gift behind her back she slowly approaches the large white door and lets herself in. Immediately she’s a bit grossed out from the smell and all the people. She recognizes several of them but pays no mind when they stare at her and the large staryu plushie behind her back.

Scanning the crowd she tries to find the familiar golden brown hair but she doesn’t spot it anywhere. She checks the kitchen, no. The living room where all the furniture is pushed away, no. The dining room where all the liquor is, not there either. The billiard room, nope. Sooyoung sighs and starts to go up the stairs. She should have known better to think the blonde was actually partying. Going up to the room that she was just in a few nights ago she lightly knocks, “Jinsoul it’s me.”

Hopefully she recognizes her voice, or no one is in there. Jiggling the knob she sighs when it’s locked. She’s about to knock again until she hears something click on the other side. Sooyoung waits for a moment thinking the door will be opened for her but it doesn’t move. Knocking again she hears no response. She grabs the handle again and this time it’s unlocked. Slowly opening the door she peaks her head inside and when she sees Jinsoul her heart melts. 

The girl is sitting cross-legged on the floor in some baggy clothes, assembling a Gundam model. Jinsoul doesn’t turn her head when she shuts the door quietly behind her, she only calls out in a bored tone, “can you lock it back?” Sooyoung nods even though the girl in large specs doesn’t look at her and clicks the latch back down.

Sooyoung is a bit excited because this is the first time she’s going to be able to tell the girl happy birthday to her face in years. Usually she would either text her as soon as the clock strikes twelve or she slips a letter under her door whenever she did make it to Jinsoul’s parties. But now she’s in a locked room only three feet away from her.

Bouncing over to the blonde she squats down and gives her the biggest smile she can and holds out the Pokémon and the gift Chaewon told her to get. It almost wiped out her bank account but it was worth it. She wouldn’t admit that Chae had to help her a bit too. Jinsoul’s blank face is filled with emotion as she stares at the items in Sooyoung’s hands. She thinks she’s done well when Jinsoul snaps forward and squeezes the life out of her. 

Sooyoung starts to giggle as the blonde now smothering her squeals, “happy birthday Jinsoul…” The blonde raises up from where she screaming into her neck and looks at her with glossy eyes. Sooyoung stays frozen to the ground not being able and also not wanting to move from where Jinsoul sat on top of her. Some of the girl’s hairs were falling from her bun and Sooyoung couldn’t help but smile at her. She tried to cover it with the tickets but Jinsoul just swatted her hand away wanting to see the smile.

Lifting the papers up Jinsoul inspects them, “how did you afford six of them?” Sooyoung shrugs, Jinsoul didn’t have to know. They were just one-day all-access passes to the local comic con. Every kind of fandom would be there and it was right in Jinsoul’s interests range. Chaewon had also told Sooyoung that Jinsoul had been talking about it a lot…everyday almost. But the blonde complained she had no one to go with.

Sooyoung tries to not pay attention to the legs straddling her waist and instead the cute concentration face Jinsoul was making while looking at the details. “So I’m guessing it’s gonna be me and you, and who else.” Jinsoul rolls off of her and flops on her back. Sooyoung only turns to her side so she can keep staring at Jinsoul.

“My sisters and Chae, unless you want other people to come.” Jinsoul quickly shakes her head and brings her arms down dramatically. She turns her head to face Sooyoung and the taller girl can’t help but smile when Jinsoul’s glasses get pushed crooked from the floor. 

Jinsoul smiles and Sooyoung is blinded by the sparkly white peeking out from Jinsoul’s lips, “no it’s perfect, you’re perfect.” Sooyoung never really gets shy but if there’s one person that brings it out its Jinsoul. She makes a dumb face and waves the girl off before turning onto her back once again. Her ears turn red as Jinsoul scoots closer and grabs the staryu out of her hands.

She knows she wants to turn and look at Jinsoul but she’s not so sure she’d be able to handle it. “Bunny,” Sooyoung in the end can’t resist it. The blonde has her glasses off and half her face hidden behind the stuffed toy. She doesn’t mean to bite her lip at the site but she does anyway and Jinsoul catches it of course. “Thank you, really it means a lot.” Sooyoung quietly tells her she doesn’t have to thank her. The floor is a bit uncomfortable but Sooyoung doesn’t want to break the little bubble they’re in right now.

Sooyoung holds her breath as Jinsoul scoots closer, so close she can feel the heat from her body. Her thoughts race at the reasons to why Jinsoul is warm and pretty. Jinsoul’s eyes search her face, but she doesn’t think Jinsoul is trying to find anything, maybe it’s just to pick out the differences in tonight. Like her pink lip gloss and the bit of eyeliner she used. Or the blush on her cheeks, not that she had any on, it was just from the way Jinsoul was looking at her.

“You know,” the blonde starts off bringing her mouth back into view, “you’ve always been the first person to tell me happy birthday.” Even though Jinsoul pretended to hate her for whatever reason she would bust her ass trying to get to the phone, or when she finally had a cell she’d text three times just to make sure. When she’d make it to the party she’d bang on Jinsoul’s door and slide the letter underneath. 

She didn’t know Jinsoul appreciated it with everything in her. Because most of the time Sooyoung was really the only one that cared about her accept her blood sister.

Not one time did she get a response but she didn’t really care, “I mean you weren’t always nice, remember for my sixteenth you called me a fake bitch on the phone and then you cried until I hung up.” Sooyoung frowns, Jinsoul wasn’t particularly nice either.

“Yeah because you didn’t say anything to me I felt like I was talking to a wall.” Jinsoul rolls her eyes and brings the plushie down further. The blonde was ruining their little moment.

Sooyoung narrows her gaze as Jinsoul starts to make that face when she gets annoyed. “Oh whatever Sooyoung I always said thank you, even though we weren’t in the best of terms then.” Sooyoung raises up in her defense and Jinsoul quickly follows laying her gift to the side. Sooyoung couldn’t believe what she was hearing right now. Jinsoul never said a word to her during those calls.

“Nah you a lie, you’d never said shit to me and the only reason we were on bad terms is that you decided to be the biggest asshole for reasons _still_ unknown to me.” Jinsoul opens her mouth in shock and Sooyoung thinks she done it. She has no idea why Jinsoul was even trying to argue this right now. 

Sooyoung pushes her on the shoulder, it’s playful but she’s still serious, “why is that Jinsoul, you’ve never told me why.”

“Why should I tell you?” Jinsoul shoves her back.

The girl grabs onto the raggedy t-shirt the blonde is wearing and pulls her closer, “because I care dumbass, I wanna know why you treated me like shit when I still tried to be your friend.” Jinsoul grips onto her wrist, the girl’s perfectly manicured nails digging into her flesh.

Jinsoul starts to lowly mumble out and Sooyoung actually starts to believe they’re going into an argument, “oh please Sooyoung don’t pretend that you were some saint all those years.” Sooyoung scoffs and widens her eyes. She gets in a more defensive stance. 

“Jinsoul you do not get to act like the victim here, are you even listening to yourself?” Jinsoul pushes her hand off and goes to grab the collar of her shirt. Sooyoung wishes she could take this argument seriously but she can’t not with the way Jinsoul looked so cute when she was angry. They’ve had this talk before but it was always Sooyoung complaining about her treatment and Jinsoul apologizing. It seemed as if Jinsoul was too stubborn for that tonight.

Sooyoung tries to keep a smile down when Jinsoul shakes her a bit, “you were so mean to me I can’t say you didn’t hurt my feelings.” Sooyoung mocks a crying face and starts to make fun of Jinsoul for being so sensitive. Sooyoung never cut deep like Jinsoul did, her jabs were surface level. Immature attacks. Jinsoul’s words and actions kept Sooyoung up at night from all the nightmares. 

Jinsoul rolls her eyes and stands up stomping over to her bed. Sooyoung follows her and hovers over where Jinsoul is sat on the edge of the bed, “just because we’re all good now doesn’t mean that what you did all those years didn’t happen.” The blonde looks up at her with pouty eyes and Sooyoung doesn’t let herself be won over. Sliding in beside her Sooyoung voices her opinion on her situation, “what we went through wasn’t mutual Jinsoul. I didn’t want to hate you, I never did.” 

She knows Jinsoul didn’t hate her either.

Sooyoung goes to stare at the floor. She waits until Jinsoul faces her to tap on her cheek. She’s asking for an apology. She smiles when she feels the lips on her skin but this time is a little different from the others. Jinsoul’s lips stay much longer than usual. Sooyoung tries to not blush when she turns back to Jinsoul, “I still deserve that explanation.” 

“And you’ll never get it.” Sooyoung gasps as Jinsoul stands back up. Thinking quickly she grabs the blonde and pulls her back to the bed. 

Jinsoul won’t look at her in the eyes so Sooyoung latches onto the girl's chin and brings her face to hers. “You promised.” Jinsoul’s eyes are moving frantically and she actually looks scared. Sooyoung wonders what Jinsoul was so afraid of. Jinsoul’s face contorts to anger and Sooyoung doesn’t understand, “what’s with you tonight?” 

She feels Jinsoul’s hands come up from where they were gripping the sheet. Now they were clawing into the skin above her skirt. “You really want to know why Sooyoung?” Her voice is constricted like her throat was tight. She feels a weird tension from Jinsoul. Like something was going to happen. Pulling her hand away she waits patiently. But it proves difficult when dark eyes swirling with anger trail down to her lips.

Sooyoung wishes she knew what made Jinsoul so angry, so afraid that it made her act this way towards her. That just simply talking about it made the girl’s blood boil. Sooyoung used to think it was something she did but the way Jinsoul was looking at her told her otherwise. Jinsoul seemed to want her closer, the girl was hesitantly gripping onto the waistband of her skirt. 

Jinsoul suddenly becomes nervous and starts to crawl back further onto the bed, Sooyoung only follows after her. When Jinsoul hits the wall Sooyoung gets as close as she can. Carefully she leans her forehead on Jinsoul’s and tries to not panic at the girl’s short breathes. “Tell me right here Jinsoul so we can finally leave it all behind.” Sooyoung is becoming impatient now, almost risky as she hovers a shaky hand over Jinsoul’s leg before finally gripping it. This was different than the club, there it was out of fun and kinda in the moment thing. Here there was something raw about it, like it had been building up. Now the desperation was so dense it was hard to break it. 

They used to be the same pole, they couldn’t get close to each other without being pushed back with harmful words. But now it was like Sooyoung was being pulled in with a force she couldn’t resist. She can’t explain the feeling she has right now, but all her previous conclusions on her feelings about Jinsoul are out the window. She still wants her more than ever.

And the way that Jinsoul acts around her tells her that the blonde wants her just as bad.

Sooyoung wonders if they ever were meant to be friends, or if that was just a stage, a build up to this. “You’ve always been so smart Sooyoung I think you can figure it out.” She gasps when Jinsoul’s hand comes to rest behind her neck. False nails scraping against the baby hairs. She can’t help but drag her hand up further Jinsoul’s leg to where it starts to go underneath her shorts.

“Don’t make me a fool by assuming things Jinsoul.” That’s where she thought she messed up last time. Thirteen year old Sooyoung was confident that Jinsoul liked her back, but boy was she wrong. That was the moment Jinsoul started to hate her, she hopes she doesn’t make the same mistake here. Jinsoul’s eyes close, the same eyes that were starting to lose the anger and becoming filled with something else.

Sooyoung wishes she could pinch herself because surely this must be some type of dream. The blonde tilts her head a bit and Sooyoung is about to do something she’s almost afraid of doing until there’s a noise that freezes them both in position. Sooyoung eyes that were hooded break back open when she hears the knocking and it takes all her willpower to back away from Jinsoul. The blonde pushes her away slightly and listens for the next noise.

The girl drops her head when she hears another knock but her heart is squeezed by some unknown force when she hears a slick voice on the other side, “Jinsoul open up!” Sooyoung has no idea who it is but she feels like giving them a piece of her mind. Crawling off the bed she storms to the locked door but she’s grabbed by frantic hands.

Turning around she’s about to rant to the blonde until her mouth is covered with a shaky hand. That’s when she realizes how afraid Jinsoul looks, she’s never seen the girl this scared. Jinsoul pulls her back over to the bed and mouths the word _hide_ to her. Sooyoung listens because it must be serious, so she goes down to the floor and shifts underneath the bed. 

Who on earth could be outside that door she thinks. They must be someone Jinsoul knew because she wouldn’t be acting like this. Sooyoung watches Jinsoul’s feet go to the far end of the room to where the door is. She was glad the bed was low because if not she would be visible. As soon as the door is unlocked Sooyoung winces as it’s forced open, making Jinsoul stumble back.

The deep voice from before starts to scold Jinsoul, “really? I’ve called you like five times and you haven’t answered?” Leather shoes enter the room and they stop in front of the half made Gundam model. “Is this why you’ve been ignoring me?” Sooyoung sees red when one of the legs reel back to kick the model, breaking it into pieces. She’s about to crawl back out, whoever it be is going to get his teeth bashed.

That’s until Jinsoul’s small voice comes out, “please don’t…” Sooyoung stops her movements underneath the bed and stays put. She knows Jinsoul can handle it on her own but if anything too bad happens she couldn’t stand to stay still. 

“You’re right I’m sorry…shit.” The guy apologizes and Sooyoung pays close attention to how their feet come together. They must be hugging or something. “Happy birthday princess.” Sooyoung physically gags at them and turns her head. Her heart was pounding out of jealousy. Something she hasn’t felt in a long time. 

Jinsoul pushes the guy away and he stumbles a bit, “you smell like alcohol.” Jinsoul comes closer to the bed and Sooyoung notices how bad her legs are shaking when she sits down. The guy stands there awkwardly not for sure what to do.

He starts to pace back and forth, “Jinsoul you’re driving me crazy you know.” Sooyoung snorts, at least they have something in common. Sooyoung is dying underneath here, it’s too hot and she’d kill to know who was causing Jinsoul this much stress. She knew whoever this was, he and Jinsoul didn’t have a good relationship. “Let me show you tonight, can I give you your birthday present?” Sooyoung smiles she knows nothing will come close to her gift. 

“And what’s that?” Jinsoul stumbles out, in an almost bored tone. 

Sooyoung accidentally punches the bed frame when the guy sleazily groans out, “this dick.” It’s silent for a moment because the wood actually cracked from the impact of her fist. Sooyoung was trying to keep her cool from how bad it hurt. There are actual tears coming from her eyes, and the little cut and pouring the blood. Silently screaming and tossing under the bed Jinsoul tries to distract her fiancé by laughing obnoxiously loud.

“You’re disgusting, you know that?” Jinsoul stares at the man she’s come to hate so much. He wasn’t necessarily a bad guy. He was egotistical and was extremely jealous and needy. It was more annoying than anything. He was a brat, if he found out about Sooyoung the worst would happen to Jinsoul. The plan she’s been trying to solidify for years would go to waste. 

Sooyoung is sucking on her knuckle when the guy sighs out, “whatever one of these days you’ll be begging for it.” Sooyoung is trying to bend her mind to shoot laser beams at his feet. 

Jinsoul hums and digs the heel of her foot into the carpet, “sure.” 

“Okay well if you’re not gonna give me any then I guess I’m out.” Sooyoung opens her mouth in shock. She even starts to feel bad herself for coming onto to Jinsoul earlier. Maybe she should stay away from the girl in that way. Sooyoung was getting too far ahead of herself. She was starting to lose herself in Jinsoul and forgetting her goals. That goal was to make Jinsoul happy and she wasn’t for sure if doing what she was about to do would make her happy.

Sooyoung waits for the guy to wobble out, as soon as the door slams shut she screams out, “who the fuck was that Jung Jinsoul!” She’s not really angry, just a tad bit pissed at the situation. What was so special about this guy that she had to hide from him? Why couldn’t Sooyoung be seen? Shuffling back out Jinsoul stands and steps away from the bed. Sooyoung pops her head out from underneath and gives the blonde a bad look.

“Hmm?”

Jinsoul shakes her head, “none of your business.” Sooyoung starts to feel her blood boil and shuffles out quicker bumping her knees against the wood.

“What do you mean? It became my damn business when you shoved me underneath this stupid ass bed.” Jinsoul stands perfectly still as Sooyoung tries to balance herself up with quick huffs. They were from frustration. 

The blonde shrugs, she has that same empty look on her face from all those years. “Nobody.”

Sooyoung shakes her hand from where it still stung from the impact on the wood. Walking closer she starts to stammer out nervously, “so I had to hide from just _nobody_. Just _nobody_ was trying to have sex with you. Just _nobody_ was making you scared like that.” Jinsoul nods her head and it annoys Sooyoung. What the hell was Jinsoul hiding from her? Sooyoung starts to rethink everything. She has no idea what else Jinsoul could be keeping from her, what even goes on inside her head. 

“So you’re not gonna tell me, even when I’m your best friend.” Jinsoul finally shows some emotion on her face. It’s annoyance and Sooyoung really can’t stand it. 

Jinsoul goes to lean on her desk before answering and it’s the final straw for Sooyoung, “stop being so nosey and mind your business. If I say it was nobody then it was nobody Sooyoung.” She drops her head. Sooyoung almost wants to cry with how distant and vague Jinsoul is being right now. The girl had all her defenses up and refuses to acknowledge that the _nobody_ that was just in her room was definitely _somebody_. 

“Fine I’ll go mind my business since you want to be a bitch right now.” Jinsoul doesn’t even flinch. Sooyoung tries to see any hesitation but there’s none. She figures out that this is the same Jinsoul that told her she was worthless those many times. It wasn’t that Jinsoul was fake, she just had different sides to her. This one Sooyoung hated. “I just don’t understand the problem you have-.” 

Jinsoul pinches the bridge of her nose like she was dealing with a child. “There’s no problem Soo, you’re overreacting. I don’t have to tell you everything.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes at the nickname and scratches at her head. She wasn’t overreacting right? Any other person would be this way. _But I have to tell you everything, don’t I?_ She remembers how Jinsoul would pull the details out of her with anything. Always when Jinsoul would find out something it was tooth and nail before Sooyoung would finally cave in. 

It seems like Jinsoul’s birthday wasn’t going to be good this year just like the past several years. She just wanted to give the blonde a good night. A celebration she deserved, she even got a hulu account so they could watch some of Jinsoul’s favorite shows tonight. But no, whoever it was had to throw Jinsoul is this weird mood and now Sooyoung was on the receiving end.

She was pissed but still she understood the blonde’s attitude. Sooyoung just wishes she wouldn’t take it out on her. Embarrassed and not wanting to argue anymore since if Jinsoul said anything else hurtful she’d probably start crying like a baby. And she did not want the blonde to see it. Wiping at her teary eyes she storms out the room. She doesn’t even think about stopping when Jinsoul calls after her. 

Skipping down the steps she heads into the dining room and goes for a bottle of liquor. Popping off the cap she starts to chug ignoring the burn down her throat. Finishing it off she wipes the liquid off her mouth and looks around. She’s already losing her temper due to obvious reasons but when she spots Kim Jiwoo, kissing another girl for some reason she gets even more pissed.

Usually Sooyoung stayed out of shit like that, since she’s been involved with things like that before. For example, Haseul. Shoving around the bodies she walks up to where Jiwoo has the girl pushed against the counter. How would Jungeun feel if she knew her girlfriend was smacking lips with some ugly party girl? “Seriously Kim? Are you fucking dumb or something?” Jiwoo pulls back from the girl and narrows her eyes.

As soon as she sees it’s Sooyoung her eyes widen, “wait it’s not what it looks like me and Jungeun are-.” Sooyoung doesn’t even listen letting her temper get the better to her. She imagines Jiwoo’s face to be the mystery guys and punches her right in the nose. Jiwoo stumbles back a bit and so does the crowd. Sooyoung puts her fists up.

If there was anything to release the rage flowing through her veins, it was fighting. There’s a circle that forms around them. Some are chanting and others are filming. Sooyoung is only focused on Jiwoo’s now bleeding nose and how mad the girl looks. Sooyoung is expecting a punch but when Jiwoo’s leg flies in the air she can barely dodge it.

And Jiwoo can kick hard. Sooyoung can’t even breathe as she’s socked right in the face by a flying fist. Jiwoo was probably the best fighter she’d ever seen but thankfully was thoughtful because after Sooyoung pleaded to not get her nose busted Jiwoo resorted to hitting her body. Everyone was laughing at getting her ass beat, but she didn’t care. It was distracting her from the feeling of Jinsoul dismissing her a few moments ago.

She’s rather get beat up then receives that ice cold treatment any day. Jiwoo has her completely worn out when the girl picks her up and goes to slam her on the table. Sooyoung groans with the wood and feels her clothes getting soaked by all the smelly liquids. She opens one eye since the other is swollen and watches with fear as Jiwoo climbs up to the counter. 

Sooyoung tries to wave the girl off when the girl pumps her fist and gets the crowd chanting along with her. She brings in elbow up and blows while rubbing on it like she was heating it up. Sooyoung closes her eyes when the girl jumps and suddenly there’s a body on top of hers and a sharp pain in her ribs. The table snaps but doesn’t break fully. Jiwoo spits on her and gets up. She started the fight but the girl definitely ended it. Rolling over she falls to the floor. 

The girl thinks she may be going unconscious, or maybe it’s all the alcohol in her system. Sooyoung notices leather shoes. The same ones from Jinsoul’s room but she can’t even look up. The last thing she sees is blonde hair and hears a shrill voice. It’s strung along with many apologies.

It’s not Jinsoul though. The touch is not as warm.

But she’s the last person Sooyoung thinks of before she knocks out. 

~~~~~~~~

Lowkey HATE this chapter but whatever. It was kinda a filler. I’m hating this story rn for some reason. It’s boring to me? Hmm I’ll try to figure out something but for now just enjoy what you have. 

Another note is I made Sooyoung’s character so wishy washy with feelings is because I think that people can get very confused. Especially with someone they’ve known for a long time. It’s sorta something like oh do I love this person? Or do I love this person? Ya heard? Okey byee.


	12. Heavy Rain

There was something dripping on her face. Sooyoung scrunched up her nose as the cold liquid repeatedly hit her in the middle of the forehead, running down the bridge of her nose. “Sooyoung?” She grumbles as her face is patted on a few times. Slowly opening her eyes they strain at the light, she can still hear music in the distance. 

Opening her eyes fully she’s met with a familiar face. Her throat is dry so she croaks out the name, “Jungeun?” The girl smiles at her, Sooyoung feels like she’s in a dream. Looking around at the surroundings she notices all the fancy sport cars and expensive SUV’s. “Where are we?” The girl is flopped on the ground her leg straightened out on the pavement. Sooyoung lifts herself a bit from where she’s leaning on a tire of one of the vehicles.

“Outside Jung’s house. I got someone to drag you out here after Jiwoo kicked your ass.” Sooyoung groans as she cradles her head. The alcohol is still in her system but she remembers everything. Her picking a fight with Jiwoo because she was smooching on some skank. Jinsoul being a major bitch to her for no reason. The strange guy in her room and the smell of Dorito’s under the blonde’s bed. The almost kiss.

Sooyoung groans again, not at the pain but at the fact she almost _kissed_ Jinsoul. Sober, with no alternate reason rather than wanting to kiss her. Why? Sooyoung doesn’t know actually. Was it the weird tension? The look in Jinsoul’s eyes as she was about to tell Sooyoung the reason for constant distancing in their history. Maybe it was because Sooyoung had a gut feeling Jinsoul wanted to kiss her too. 

She feels Jungeun’s hand on her thigh, making her look up. “You know Jiwoo’s a black belt right?” 

Rolling her eyes she tries to stand. She hopes the sharp pain in her abdomen is not another broken rib. “Well she’s also a lying ass cheater so, you’re welcome.” Sooyoung lifts herself up and stares down at her friend waiting for a reaction. Jungeun doesn’t even blink. Sooyoung watches the girl struggle to get back on her feet picking up her crutches in the progress.

“Idiot I broke up with her…why do you think she’s even at this party.” Sooyoung lets her face flare up in anger as the girl laughs in her face. “She’s trying to rebound because I dumped her ass.” Sooyoung got her ass kicked for no reason. She should have been kicking Jungeun’s ass. 

Sooyoung starts to walk and she can hear Jungeun’s crutches behind her. “Why are you here then?” 

The clicking stops behind her making her turn around. Jungeun is staring at the ground before looking up with a serious expression on her face. “No reason.” 

Scoffing Sooyoung puts her hand on her hip instantly regretting because Jiwoo had kicked there, “no reason? You just showed up to a party that your ex went to for no reason?” Sooyoung smiles when she sees Jungeun’s façade break. The blonde screams at her and hits her with one of the crutches. It’s not hard but it’s enough to make Sooyoung apologize.

“Jeez forget about it, I don’t care anyways.” Sooyoung has other things to worry about. Like Jinsoul and if there’s something there or if she’s just crazy. The blonde still follows behind her disrupting her thoughts over and over again. She finally makes it to her aunt’s car who let her borrow the piece of trash for the night. 

Sooyoung pats for the keys in her pocket and realizes something horrible. She forgot her keys in Jinsoul’s room, along with her wallet and everything else. “Goddamn it.” Sooyoung rests her forehead on the window and stares at her reflection. She frowns at the blood on her face but thankfully Jiwoo spared her and only busted her lip open. Her bloodied lip is annoying but even more annoying is that Jungeun was still lounging there like she was waiting for something. “Tell me again why are you still here?” 

The blonde raises her brows and hums. Sooyoung rolls her eyes and slams her palm on the top of the car, “go home Jungeun! Why are you loitering around me?” 

“Because I need a ride.” Sooyoung lets the rage flow out of her. The girl said it plain as day. As if it was a simple request. Sooyoung was going to leave the car here and walk home. Sneaking back tomorrow to get Chaewon to receive the keys for her. But now…she had to go back. Sooyoung wasn’t that heartless to just leave a cripple without a ride. 

Though she would try to persuade, “get it from someone else.”

“No.”

“Why?”

Jungeun rolls her shoulders and shakes her head, “because I don’t want to?” 

Sooyoung prays to god to let her have the strength to not slap the crippled. Forcing a smile she nods at the girl telling her she’ll be right back. Jungeun gives her a sassy _okay_ and goes to lean on the car. Sooyoung wants to throw up when she walks back into the party and everyone starts hollering at her. Mocking her in a sense. She’s used to it. People have always mocked her.

No matter how much she fought there’d always be someone new who stepped up to the challenge to find out what it’s like to piss her off. There’s some guy standing in her way so she pushes him. It’s a little too hard and he trips over a small table breaking it in the process. Ignoring the curses behind her back she heads up the stairs. 

The last feeling she had approaching this door was excitement and a bit of nervousness. Now she just felt disappointment and annoyance. Standing in front of the door she raises her fist, only to bring it back down. Maybe the nerves were still there. But it was a different kinda anxious. Finally swallowing down her fear she bangs on the wood. She doesn’t want to face Jinsoul or even speak to her. 

But she has to do one or the other to get her shit back. “Jinsoul give me my keys and wallet.” There was no noise in the room but as soon as she spoke up she heard a bang and a bunch of items fall. The door starts to open but Sooyoung grabs the handle and slams it back shut. If Jinsoul were to see her face then she knows the blonde would instantly latch onto her and try to nurse her back to health.

Then probably apologize and then Sooyoung would give in…and she knew she had to be stronger than that. But it was really hard when it came to Jinsoul and she had someone to take home. “Do you have the shit?” She wasn’t going to open this door unless the girl had the stuff in hand so she could just yank it out without even sparing her a glace before getting the hell out of there. 

“No…” Sooyoung hates how sad Jinsoul sounds.

Sighing she asks nicely, “then please get the stuff.” The pressure on the door is relieved and she hears small padding in the room. Eventually, there’s a jingle and Sooyoung cracks the door open and holds out her palm. Jinsoul doesn’t place them in her hand though. Groaning she reaches in further and tries to grab them out of Jinsoul’s hand. When she finally feels them in her hand she lets out a happy noise and pulls. She realizes her mistake when the door is pulled open as well.

Now Sooyoung finds herself pulled close to Jinsoul. Who looks like she’s been crying. Sooyoung knows she needs to run when the blonde’s bloodshot eyes are scanning her face. When they lock onto her busted lip Jinsoul goes to touch it but Sooyoung quickly pushes the girl’s face back with her palm and yanks the keys out of her hands before darting out the room and down the stairs. She bumps into some guy but she doesn’t even bother to look back.

Jinsoul recuperates from the assault and runs out her room. She watches as soon runs into the crowd, “Sooyoung!” She’s gripping tightly on the banister and she feels chills down her spin when the person Sooyoung bumped into comes into view. It’s her fiancé and he looks pissed. Jinsoul slowly backs away into her room. She can only hope he didn’t see Sooyoung’s face. Slamming her door she locks and deadbolts it. Tonight wasn’t supposed to be like any other birthday for her. But somehow she ended up ruining it. 

Like she does with everything else.

Sooyoung runs up to Jungeun who is picking at her nails and holds up the keys. The girl only shrugs not knowing the importance of the weirdly shaped metals or the suffering Sooyoung just had to go through to get them. “Please just get in.” Sooyoung finally lets out a breath of relief when she starts pulling out the driveway.

“So um…”Sooyoung is drumming her fingers along to the song on the radio. She glances over to Jungeun who is leaning her head on the window. “Where do you live?” The blonde doesn’t say anything, actually she doesn’t even move. 

Sooyoung thinks she’s not gonna get an answer so she just focuses on driving. “Can I go home with you?” The older girl is almost shocked at the tiny voice. 

“Yeah sure, is there any reason?” Sooyoung wonders if Jungeun is the type to hide things when she’s upset. A lot like Jinsoul does. Sometimes the girl could be so emotional and other times it was like it was empty in there. Jungeun seemed empty most of the time though.

Sooyoung lets her heart clench when she hears Jungeun’s response. “It’s too quiet there.” There must be more to that. She understands that she almost knows nothing about Jungeun at this point. Only the basics. Maybe Jungeun and Jinsoul were a lot alike in a way. Or at least to Sooyoung there were similarities. 

Not really knowing what to say she asks, “How long was I out?” 

“Over an hour...” Sooyoung smacks her lips a bit. That must explain why she didn’t feel that tipsy or anything. She doesn’t have anything else to say so the rest of the ride is an awkward silence. It continues to be that silent until they’re both in Sooyoung’s bed. Jungeun’s crutches across the room and each of them on the opposite ends. 

Sooyoung’s bed is getting wet from her hair. She showered a little after Jungeun did and the bruises on her body were starting to show. She knew she’d be sore tomorrow. They had practice tomorrow and then countless games. One after another. The season would start full swing. Right now it was just a warm up and Sooyoung was excited for it the real fun to begin, only that her partner…her true partner was sitting right there beside her.

It’s killing her, the bombarding thoughts of Jinsoul. And what better way to get them out of her head then to talk about them, “Hey Jungeun can I talk to you about something?”

“Please I’m bored out of my mind.” Sooyoung frowns at the girl.

Scooting herself further onto the bed she starts to ramble on, “so um you know how I said I liked Jinsoul?” She looks over to Jungeun and she nods, letting Sooyoung have the permission to continue. “Okay well I think she likes me too.”

Sooyoung hears a gasp from beside her but she ignores it. “I have this gut feeling that she does. We almost kissed at the party I know we did.” She starts to relive the moment while standing up. Jungeun watches closely as she starts to pace the floor. “We’ve kissed before, when we were kids and at some club a week ago and even in high school there she um…anyway but this time it was different, I think she wants me like I want her. But she’s so confusing. One minute she’s all over me and then the next she’s cold, wants me ten miles away I honestly don’t know.”

Jungeun hasn’t said anything yet so Sooyoung keeps talking, “as soon as we get too close she finds some way to push me away. When everything starts getting real she wants distance. Just when we were about to kiss some guy walks in, I don’t even know who, some douchebag she’s probably talked to before but then her whole mood changed after that. She was about to kiss me Jungeun, and then she was telling me that we’re not close enough to share our secrets.” 

“She doesn’t?” Sooyoung pauses and turns to Jungeun who seems perplexed. 

Sooyoung tilts her head to the side. “Huh?” 

“Nothing go on…”Shaking her head she continues to pace the floor. She hopes it’s not too much for Jungeun to take in. 

Jinsoul was so unfair to her, she always was. “Ever since we were thirteen she was like this. One day she just decided that she hated me and told me to never talk to her again. My whole fucking high school experience was trying to win her friendship back, trying to get her to like me back. Then all the sudden she pretends none of it happens and wants to be friends again. She acts like it’s the end of the world when I ask her to tell me the reason why she did that to me. Why she,” Sooyoung throws her arms up and air quotes, “hated me…” 

She then goes to sit directly beside of Jungeun pointing in the girl’s face, “but you know why I think so?” The blonde raises her almost non-existent brows. “Because I think she liked me just as much as I liked her.” Jungeun’s brows fall like she doesn’t actually believe Sooyoung. The girl turns to look at the carpet. Jinsoul was like some conspiracy theory. “But she’s scared…for whatever reason. She’s afraid of being with me or maybe she’s confused or I don’t know something that’s why she pushes me away.”

It’s silent so Sooyoung fills it with more words, “I tried to convince myself that we’re just best-friends, that have some kind of sexual tension or gay tendencies but I’m tired of lying to myself. I like Jinsoul…I love her. She’s my best friend but I want more than that. Should I even try though? What if she’s just one of those girls that kiss you but then next five minutes she says no homo and acts like it’s normal for best friends to make out all the t-.”

“WOAH...woah okay slow down.” Jungeun starts to blurt out and it stops Sooyoung mid-sentence. Even though she had a gut feeling. It didn’t mean it was true. She could be reading Jinsoul wrong. The girl was very unpredictable and Sooyoung honestly didn’t know what went through her head half the time. There was plenty of instances where friends would kiss…and do other things without feelings involved. Sooyoung’s done it with a few. But with Jinsoul? She’s sure of her feelings but she could be some experiment to the blonde. Maybe Jinsoul couldn’t have sexual feelings for a girl or even romantic. 

Maybe it was just fun for her. 

“Is this my karma, for breaking a lot of girl’s hearts?” 

Sooyoung screams when her back is slapped by the other girl who seems to be annoyed now. “No dipshit this is not your karma.” Sooyoung only nods as Jungeun asks a question, “can you give me like a quick rundown of your guy’s history?” She starts from the very beginning and briefly describes her time with Jinsoul, the good and bad until they make it to the situation that is now. 

Blinking away the tears that are forming she listens to Jungeun who slowly starts to speak out. “I think you’ve bottled this up for way too long first of all, second I know exactly what your problem is and how you can fix it.” 

Jungeun waits for a reaction but gets none. “I think your problem is…that you are too easy.” The reaction she was expected she gets now and it’s not a nice one. “Hear me out, so you love Jinsoul right? And you wonder why she treats you like shit?” Sooyoung looks like she’s about to tear her head off but she continues. “You’re so desperate for her attention because you’ve been deprived of it for however long that it only takes a little effort from her to win you over.” 

Sooyoung crosses her arms and leans back allowing Jungeun the go ahead to keep talking, “she knows that and takes advantage of you. So whatever it is she clearly doesn’t want you to know. But she knows that she doesn’t have to give you anything because as soon as she starts that _aww Sooyoung baby_ shit you’re crawling right back to her.” Jungeun punctuates each word with a pat on Sooyoung’s thigh.

“Want results? You wanna pull her real feelings out of her chest?” Sooyoung may seem chill but she’s on edge. “Start playing hard to get. Give her a taste of her own medicine, I know how hard it is for you to not give into her stupid ass face where she does the thing with her eyebrows but I swear you’ll be fine.”

Sooyoung raises back up, “and how do you know that will work?” 

Jungeun smiles like she’s some big time detective solving a case, “right now she has you right where she wants you. But what if you go back to ignoring her…you remember all those massages don’t you? Where are they now?” Sooyoung nods her head and it starts to dawn on her. Jinsoul was begging for her at that point because Sooyoung really thought she was done with the blonde. But of course with that much attention she fell right back into Jinsoul’s spell. She had told Jungeun about all of this.

Sooyoung is clingy onto the sheets when the girl mumbles out to her, “I hate seeing you give her everything while she gives you only half in return.”

Jungeun’s plan sounds nice but there are too many holes for Sooyoung, “What if she just goes back to hating me?” 

“Then boom she doesn’t have feelings for you and you move on with your life.” Sooyoung hates the sound of that but maybe she’s right. Maybe she was getting too clingy with Jinsoul, she was too passive. This should work? The best case scenario is Jinsoul can’t stand it and comes running to her constantly and the worst case is…well nothing happens. Her thoughts of this plan go out the window when her phone starts to buzz. Sooyoung dives after it and immediately picks up. Holding it up to her ear she keeps her arm out for Jungeun who is trying to grab the phone out of her hand. 

Sooyoung’s insides melt when she hears the small voice on the other line, “Sooyoung baby I’m sorry, I-can you please come back over so we can just talk about it? I promise I’ll-.” 

The sentence is cut off because the speaker is snatched from her ear. “HEY!” Sooyoung screams when she doesn’t hear Jinsoul’s soothing voice anymore. Instead Jungeun has it in her hands and the girl brings it up to her own mouth.

“She’s busy.” Sooyoung turns white as a ghost as Jungeun hangs up and turns off her phone. She watches the girl sling her leg with her as she makes it back over to the bed and flops down. Jungeun seems angry almost, “see that’s exactly what I’m talking about. You were already getting all gushy. You’re so weak Sooyoung.” Jungeun was right she had no strength at all when it came to Jinsoul.

“If you really want to be treated right…then earn it. By showing her what she’d be missing if you were to really forget about her.” Jungeun knew this game all too well. It was the same one Jiwoo put her through constantly. Except Jungeun was a lot more stubborn than Sooyoung, but Jiwoo was a lot more assertive than Jinsoul. The blonde was totally playing Sooyoung but the reason why Jungeun wasn’t so sure. She was pretty sure Jinsoul had a boyfriend or maybe that was her notorious sister she was thinking of. 

It worked with Jiwoo. Every time Jungeun would dump the girl would come back slinging snot and telling her the truth and then they would be good for a while before the girl would fuck up again. She loved Jiwoo too much to truly let her go though. Maybe that was her flaw. Jungeun hums when Sooyoung speaks out, “so basically you’re telling me to cut Jinsoul off. To see if she has feelings for me or not?” Jungeun only nods her head. “Doesn’t that seem too harsh?”

“She did it to you why can’t you do the same to her?”

“Yea but what if she just wants to be my friend.” Jungeun didn’t really think about that part. With Jiwoo she already knew but Jinsoul’s true feelings were yet a mystery. So when she did come crawling back to Sooyoung was it because she missed her friend or was it because she couldn’t stand the fact she wasn’t close to the girl she was in love with. 

Suddenly she gets an idea. Jungeun hobbles over to turn the lights off and pulls her hair in a low bun before pulling the hood of Sooyoung’s sweat shirt over her head. Sooyoung is confused so Jungeun just tells her to relax as she flops down beside the girl. “Let me see your phone.” Sooyoung clueless hands her phone. Jungeun shakes her head when there’s no passcode on it. Holding up the camera to their faces she starts to record.

Sooyoung stares at the bright screen and screams once she feels Jungeun’s lips on hers. Immediately she pushes the girl away, “what the fuck weirdo I’m not gonna be your-.”

“Listen, you know another way you’re going to get Jinsoul to confess her feelings?” Sooyoung raises one brow skeptical of the blonde in front of her. “By making her jealous.” Narrowing her eyes she supposes that could work. Jinsoul has been jealous before so maybe…

“Okay then let me do the kissing you suck at it.” Sooyoung offended the girl because now Jungeun was slapping her on the head. After Jungeun gets her urges out they stare at each other with disgust on their faces. Sooyoung holds her phone up and puts on a show as she makes out with Jungeun. When she thinks there’s enough footage she breaks the kiss and gags. Jungeun does the same as she wiping off her lips.

Sooyoung grumbles as Jungeun proceeds to be overdramatic acting like she was the worst kisser in the world while she trims up the video. It was perfect, you couldn’t tell who Jungeun even was. Sooyoung proceeds to put up a corny caption before posting it online. For everyone to see…but only one person in mind. Jinsoul. 

She ignores the texts the blonde had sent her after the call and lays her phone on the nightstand. Now in the morning, she’d have some stuff to deliberate with Jungeun if the girl reacted it to it at all. And to come up with a new plan if she didn’t.

Jungeun ends up sleeping in Hyunjin’s bed since the girl is god knows where while Sooyoung tosses and turns all night. One because she wants to check her phone and two Jungeun snores like crazy. It’s almost seven AM when she finally gives up on the in and out sleep and picks up her phone to turn it on. She’s scared they’ll be no texts. Or one that says _don’t bother talking to me anymore_.

Jinsoul couldn’t be that harsh again could she? Sooyoung frowns when there’s nothing. She’s about to throw her phone out the window when suddenly there’s a bazillion of notifications that come through. Or more like sixty-seven. It’s missed calls and texts, even a few face times. All from Jinsoul in the span of a few hours. Sooyoung giggles to herself as she reads the texts.

The first few where her asking who that was on the phone, then it's Jinsoul pleading for a phone call. Sooyoung can’t even count the number of times her name is said in the texts let alone how angry Jinsoul sounds when she’s asking where she is. They’re all punctuated and passive-aggressive. There’s one point where Jinsoul gives up and tells her goodnight, only to text her several more times to pick up the phone.

Sooyoung thinks it’s successful and wakes up Jungeun. The blonde is sleepily reading the texts while cracking up with Sooyoung. The older girl starts to click on her phone and holds it up to her ear. Jungeun doesn’t understand it until she sees the goofy smile on Sooyoung’s face. “Who are you calling?”

“Jinsoul?” Jungeun snatches the phone out of the girl’s hand for what seems like the hundredth time. 

She stares at the girl who seems to not get how to play hard to get. “Are you dumb you’re ruining the progress?” 

“But she wants to talk.” Jungeun can’t believe her eyes as Ha Sooyoung pouts and eyes the phone in her hand. 

Jungeun rolls her eyes, “so? You can talk to her at practice…but play it cool.” Sooyoung watches as the blonde starts to get ready. Sooyoung hopes Jinsoul isn’t too mad at her. She was kinda over the whole let’s play hard to get to make Jinsoul treat you better plan. It didn’t seem like it was gonna work. 

Later on that day, Sooyoung was stuffing her feet in the sand. They were all waiting around for a particular person. “Sooyoung! Where’s the blonde? She’s usually attached to your hip.” Sooyoung frowns at her coach’s words and shrugs. She guesses it was true, she and Jinsoul always showed up together and then left together as well. Usually they were hugging or patting each other someplace on the body when not in a volley. But today Jinsoul wasn’t showing up and it was slightly worrying Sooyoung. Maybe she should call her but one look at Jungeun she knows it’s not a good idea. 

Instead she goes on to practice. Her partner being none other than Kim Jiwoo. The redhead had, of course, apologized a lot actually and then cried while hugging Sooyoung until she couldn’t quite breathe anymore. Practice was bad because well Sooyoung played shitty and her coach caught on. She got plenty of ass chewings and ended up getting a few extra miles after practice. She was expected to be a perfect player.

But how could she play perfectly when the person she worked the hardest for wasn’t even there. Sooyoung stops in her tracks. The sand soft beneath her tennis shoes. There was one person she played for always. Looking out to the ocean she reminds herself of the person who taught her how to swim, how to run. It wasn’t Jinsoul. But why did she start to feel the passion for volleyball again ever since she started playing with Jinsoul?

Was it because?

Sooyoung pulls her shoes off and throws them behind her. Slowly she approaches the ocean and lets her feet sink into the sand as water rolls on and off of her legs. It was the same feeling she had with Jinsoul. This weird push and pull. Sooyoung starts to realize what her father said about love. How every ocean had the moon. How every living body had its own force to help it keep moving. Maybe Jinsoul was her moon but the girl’s been so clouded with mystery it’s hard for Sooyoung to really admire her light. 

Sooyoung may have been wishfully thinking but everyday this pull Jinsoul had on her was getting stronger. Sooyoung wonders if they’ll be able to breathe if becomes too strong or if it’ll be the same feeling as drowning. Was Jinsoul starting to shine bright like she did all those years ago? Sooyoung can only hope she wasn’t the reason why her moon became eclipsed. Jinsoul became distant, but now she was distant as ever because Sooyoung was starting to realize how much she didn’t know about Jinsoul. 

Smiling she splashes the water a bit. One of these days she’ll figure it all out. Somehow, someway. She’ll figure out the mystery the moon is.

And why it’s so intertwined with something as dangerous as the ocean.

… 

Sooyoung doesn’t know how she really got here but she guesses it’s from the lack of attention from Jinsoul. Well not lack of. Jinsoul’s been very persistent, but so has Jungeun in making sure Sooyoung doesn’t give in to the constant rain of calls and visits. Only for Jinsoul to be locked out by Jungeun or her phone confiscated by the girl. It’s been a week now by now she thinks.

The only contact they had was at practice. Sooyoung found it very difficult to focus. Especially when Jinsoul would try to cling onto her only for the girl to run away from Jinsoul because Sooyoung could not handle the girl’s sweaty body against hers. Sooyoung remembers having to control herself while Jinsoul was groping her ass very obviously while asking if everything was okay and if they can make up already.

It was probably the hardest thing Sooyoung’s truly ever done. She hasn’t said a full sentence to the girl. Even when they were fighting they talked more than this. Sooyoung was starting to realize how close she still was to Jinsoul all those years. Now she felt like the roles were reversed. And it was true this time. 

Sooyoung found herself out on a date with Kyungri. Sooyoung didn’t know if the girl was still having trouble in paradise or not. Or if she was the rebound. Dinner was boring. The girl was incredibly attractive but Sooyoung wasn’t interested. All she did was talk about herself while Sooyoung faintly listened while eating her mediocre food. She doesn’t even remember Kyungri asking anything about her. It was probably the worst date in her life. 

All of this was making her miss Jinsoul. Especially when Kyungri had her in the back of her car, slowly unbuttoning her dress pants and untucking the blouse she was wearing. The kisses on her neck were hot, but they didn’t burn. Sooyoung pretends to moan when the girl above her sucks on the skin around her collar bone and long fingers start to push into her pants.

She knows she should be focusing on Kyungri but she can’t stop thinking about Jinsoul. The girl has been on her mind all night. Like she always is. The music in the car is slow. Just the way Jinsoul likes it. The temperature is cool and Jinsoul would be freezing. Jinsoul makes the same small noises Kyungri does when Sooyoung digs her nails into her scalp. “What’s wrong Sooyoung?” She opens her eyes and notices how blurry her vision is.

Raising up she looks at the hand now situated on her thigh. “Um are you not feeling it tonight? I mean we don’t have to fuck I just thought…” Kyungri starts to trail off but Sooyoung doesn’t listen to the rest of it. She’s not even aroused. Kyungri had been hitting the right spots of course. Even better than last time but there was something off. It didn’t feel right.

“Do you like me Kyungri?” The older girl above her blinks and leans up. Sooyoung hears the thunder crack outside. It was another night storm. They had been getting those a lot lately it seems. The girl looks like she’s been asked a complicated math equation. When it was just a simple yes or no answer. Maybe feelings were more complicated than Sooyoung thought. 

She starts to understand how girls probably feel when she gives half assed responses to their confessions. Except she wasn’t hurt by Kyungri. Just annoyed that she wasted her time on someone who’d she used to be like. “Of course you’re like super hot and cool.” Kyungri stumbles out the words and struggles to come up with more.

Sooyoung smiles and starts to button her pants and shirt back up while Kyungri starts to panic. Sooyoung just shrugs the girl off when she apologizes, “it’s fine really. I actually like someone else right now.” The girl seems to be relieved from Sooyoung’s statement. She guesses they feel the same way in this moment. Just using each other for a distraction.

“Actually me too, I mean my girlfriend…but she still won’t talk to me.” Sooyoung nods her head. She almost feels bad for Kyungri but maybe she shouldn’t go around sleeping with random girls if she’s trying to win her girlfriend back. It starts to rain slightly when they get back to the front of the car. Sooyoung’s white button up getting a little wet from the droplets. 

They sit in silence for what seems like an eternity, just watching the rain turn from a slight drizzle to a downpour. “You like that blonde girl don’t you?” Sooyoung hums for confirmation. She had something stronger for Jinsoul then just that. It’s simple really. What she feels for Jinsoul was something she couldn’t describe. The only thing she could do to explain it was to say that she belongs with Jinsoul, it doesn’t feel complete with anyone else.

“You could say that.” Kyungri laughs for some reason. Probably because the situation they were in was funny. At least to the older girl it was. Sooyoung thinks she could have been losing her mind too. They talk for a little while longer and it’s probably the first time she’s enjoyed Kyungri’s company. The girl was much more relaxed and laid back then she was at the restaurant. There she was trying to impress Sooyoung. Now they were talking like friends. When they run out of things to say the girl starts her car and starts the journey back to Sooyoung’s, only for the girl to stop the driver and tell her to take her someplace else. 

She was definitely going to get an ear full from Jungeun if she found out about this.

…

Sooyoung hadn’t perfected her plan on surprising Jinsoul. She also didn’t think about what she was even going to say to her _. Oh hey I’m like in love with you so I’m trying to figure you out by ignoring you._ Sooyoung snorts at the sentence in her head. All this was so stupid. Maybe she should just ask Jinsoul straight up instead of pussy footing around. But right now was not really the time to be fantasizing over scenarios of Jinsoul feeling the same for her while she was stuck under the girl’s family’s gazebo in their private garden.

Of course Jinsoul wasn’t home and the doors were locked so Sooyoung ran to the back to see that the patio screen door had been locked too. So she had run through the maze of roses to end up in the main square. It was probably the most expensive thing about Jinsoul’s house. Sooyoung is soaked to the bone and it’s a bit cold. She takes her time to try and figure out what she’ll say to Jinsoul. Once she calls her of course.

For now Sooyoung was staring at the pretty lamp hung in the middle of the gazebo and how the warm light brightened the whole area despite having a weak shine. It was weird. Sooyoung shakes her head and looks out into the rest of the garden. It seemed so wild now, it felt detached from the world outside, the walls of shrubs. All the vines and ferns growing around. Sooyoung liked it better un-kept. It used to be elegant but now it was almost magical with the way all the wild flowers had bloomed all around. 

The fountain in the middle was covered in weeds. The trees she and Jinsoul planted when they were younger had grown high. The plants hanging down from the gazebo. Sooyoung couldn’t even hear the city from outside. All she heard was the frogs peeping from the tiny pond surrounding the fountain. 

Sooyoung doesn’t have anything to say to Jinsoul. She just wants to see her. To share this moment of peace and silence with her. But how can she when she’s nowhere near. Holding her phone out she flips through the contacts list. She smiles when she sees the cute photo she has for Jinsoul set up. No matter how cold the rain was. She felt warmer than ever. 

Dialing the number she hesitantly holds up the speaker to her ear and patiently waits. She almost hangs up halfway through but she isn’t given the chance when the line picks up. She hears heavy breathing on the other line so she listens closely. “Sooyoung?” Jinsoul was out of breath and her voice was unnerved. Sooyoung starts to think it’s a bad time. About the hang up she freezes when Jinsoul’s panicked voice comes through again, “Where are you? Sooyoung?” 

Jinsoul must hear the rain. Sooyoung is confused by the blonde’s attitude. “Is everything okay Jinsoul?” She hears the girl scoff over the speaker. There’s no other noise. Just her shallow breath and mumbles. 

“So you ignore me for god knows how long and then out of the blue call me and ask if everything’s okay?” Sooyoung doesn’t speak. Jinsoul’s voice is angry and she can tell when the girl is about to cry. “No it’s not okay, you haven’t talked to me in weeks and-.” Sooyoung grips the phone tighter as Jinsoul’s sobs buzz through the phone. Maybe she really messed up. Jungeun’s plan was way too harsh. 

Sooyoung has to remind herself though. She’s cried over Jinsoul too. But her cries weren’t heard. This conversation wasn’t meant for a phone so Sooyoung quietly mumbles out her location, “I’m at the one place.” Jinsoul tries to cut her crying but it doesn’t work out too well. 

She’s still struggling to speak when she asks for clarification, “the one place…the garden?” Sooyoung only hums, frowning when she hears a clash of glass on the other line while Jinsoul curses. “Stay there, please just stay right there.” The line is cut and Sooyoung stares at the now blank screen of her phone. She guesses she’ll be sitting for a little while. Wherever Jinsoul may be.

Jinsoul tries to pick up the glass decorations she knocked over while talking to Sooyoung. She couldn’t believe she started crying when she heard Sooyoung’s voice, it was like some dream. Or maybe Jinsoul was being overdramatic. The past few weeks she’s been on edge. Mostly because Sooyoung was obviously ignoring her. Jinsoul had never experienced Sooyoung being so distant.

At practice the only time she was allowed to face the girl Sooyoung would just blankly look at her. It was killing her. She really thought she messed it up for good this time. But now she was giving yet again another chance. Jinsoul couldn’t keep hiding. She could tell how tired Sooyoung was getting, she was too. But she was afraid if Sooyoung learned the truth then the girl would pull away.

Too far for Jinsoul’s liking. These weeks have just proved to Jinsoul how miserable it would be without her best friend. She wanted Sooyoung, right beside her at all times. She wanted to hear the girl’s voice, to feel her, to just be able to look at her. How was she supposed to do that when Sooyoung hated her or was upset? Now she knew how Sooyoung felt all those years. Jinsoul couldn’t have gone that long. Sooyoung was stronger than her. She’d always been.

Stepping out of the bathroom she starts to move back into the crowd of aristocrats. She was at a fancy dinner party with her parents and fiancé. She was always being pulled into events she never wanted to be at. She had to be the Jung’s perfect girl. If this was five years ago and Sooyoung had called she would have to forget about her heart in her chest and forget about the girl. She wasn’t doing that anymore. She was tired of putting her feelings on hold for something as trivial as parading around with a man who only sees her as a trophy. While her parents smile every time she explains that she’ll be entering med school even though she was majoring in astronomy.

Walking past a few people she reaches her mom and grabs her on the shoulder. Her mother instantly can tell something is wrong when she sees she’s been crying. “Sweetie are you o-.”

“I’m going home.” Is all that Jinsoul says to her before walking off. Jinsoul ignores her mother’s calls while she steps out into the light rain. Her heels click on the fancy stairs as she stumbles down them. She rushes to her jeep. She couldn’t wait any longer to stay apart from Sooyoung. 

Sooyoung is lounging on the banisters of the gazebo when she hears the heels click. She’s been trying to think of things to say. Maybe she could even get the courage to hint at Jinsoul that she’d like to try with her. Something she’s always wanted to try with her. They’ve already gone so far, why not make sense of it. Sooyoung wanted to know if there was meaning behind Jinsoul’s longing stares and stolen kisses. Or it was just a comfort thing.

Turning around she noisily gulps down at how pissed Jinsoul looks coming towards her. The girl was in all black, something fancy and her hair was a little frizzy from the rain. Sooyoung hates how giddy she feels since Jinsoul had come straight to her from wherever it was. It didn’t help that Jinsoul looked adorable too, no matter how mad she was. Sooyoung is knocked out of her love fool daze when the blonde shoves her back once they’re close enough, “what the fuck Sooyoung?”

Sooyoung raises her brows at her name practically being spat out. Giggling she rubs at her chest. Her laughter seems to calm Jinsoul just a bit and her scowl turns into a tiny smirk before remembering exactly why she’s angry, “you’re such an asshole.” Sooyoung stops giggling and drops her smile. She blankly stares at Jinsoul. Soon the blonde becomes uneasy with the stare until Sooyoung bursts out into laughter again, she couldn’t help to let it out. Jinsoul looked like she’d been electrocuted.

Making her voice deeper and a little dumb sounding she mocks Jinsoul, or more like trying to do a poor impression of the blonde. “ _Oh hey Sooyoung so nice to see you how are you_?” Jinsoul lets her eyes narrow as Sooyoung speaks out and she has to admit she sounds just like the blonde. Changing back to her normal tone she smiles her biggest smile and steps closer to the girl, “Hi Jinsoul I’m doing just fine and yourself?” 

Sooyoung strains to keep her charming smile up because Jinsoul’s gaze is vicious. She feels like her throat is about to be ripped out. “Hmm I don’t know Sooyoung, what do you think?” 

“I’d say you’re doing great, by the way did you do something different to your hair?” Sooyoung steps another foot forward. Jinsoul is in heels so she has to slightly look up at the girl. Not really liking the height difference she gets on her tippy toes so she can be eye to eye with the girl. 

Jinsoul tilts her head and gives her a fake smile, “It’s probably where I’ve been in the rain trying to get to you.” Sooyoung smiles at the heaviness in Jinsoul’s voice. She’d make sure to properly thank Jungeun later. She was enjoying this a whole lot. The thought of Jinsoul making such an effort just to have the chance to talk to her. Dropping whatever it was for her? It left a satisfying feeling in Sooyoung’s gut. It made her believe that Jinsoul wanted her, like she had been saying to herself this whole time.

But the negative side of her was still present. _Maybe she’s just being a good friend_.

_Maybe she’s trying to make up for the past. Being the girl you’ve always wanted._

Sooyoung wishes Jinsoul would have come running to her back then. When she needed her even more. When she felt like she was at her lowest. But she hated being so serious, “really? I was thinking that you might have fried it in Crisco.” Jinsoul lets out a monotone and curt laugh. 

The blonde goes to say something but nothing comes out. Sooyoung patiently waits. Like she always has for Jinsoul. They just had some stupid fight. There was no reason to act this way towards each other. “I thought I messed up for good this time, I was so scared I lost you over me doing something stupid like that.” Sooyoung is genuine surprised at all the emotion in Jinsoul’s voice, the girl could break at any second. “I…I can’t stand it Sooyoung. Don’t do this shit to me I can’t take it.”

Sooyoung knows she shouldn’t feel bad for Jinsoul but she can’t help that her heart clenches by the look of pain in Jinsoul’s eyes. She remembers Jungeun’s words though. Sooyoung should be stronger than this, she’s given everything to Jinsoul when the girl has only started to give back. But even then Sooyoung almost thinks of herself being selfish, Jinsoul didn’t really owe her anything truthfully. Sooyoung didn’t think it would hurt to try though, “imagine what I felt like. All those years, and I didn’t even know why.” 

Backing away she goes to lean back onto the banister. Jinsoul rubs at her head not really knowing how to come back from that. Her clothes are starting to become sticky. The rain is long gone but the heat isn’t. It’s just a hot now since she was in a now heavier outfit. The blonde slowly approaches her and leans onto the banister as well, but she’s facing the garden, looking out into the darkness. “You’re right, it’s unfair of me to be mad at you for ignoring me for eleven days when I pushed you away for nine years.” Sooyoung wants to smirk at the fact that Jinsoul was counting the days but she doesn’t want to fade the seriousness of the conversation.

Sooyoung lets the word unfair replay in her mind. Jinsoul had never played fair with her. She thinks that she can start being unfair to the blonde but was that really mature of her? It never got her anywhere in the past when she would tear down Jinsoul while building the girls insecurities. She guesses she can withdraw from Jinsoul every time was unfair since it seemed like it really got to the girl. Sooyoung shuffles her soaked dress shoes almost shy to confront Jinsoul now, “I just needed space, it really hurts when you talk to me like that. I feel like you don’t trust me at all.” 

Slowly looking up from the wooden boards she focuses on the side of Jinsoul’s face, particularly her jawline and how it’s clenching. “Every time we fight it makes me realize how much I need you.” Jinsoul has her eyes still, Sooyoung really isn’t sure on what the girl is staring at but she stops breathing when those same eyes lock with hers. “I think I need you more than ever now.” Sooyoung doesn’t move when Jinsoul turns to her, inching her hand over her own. She digs her nails into the wood at how soft and warm Jinsoul’s hand is.

“I trust you with everything in me Sooyoung. But I’m afraid of telling you the truth because I know you won’t like it.” She keeps quiet. Hesitant to speak and miss out on something that Jinsoul is bound to say. “I have always done things that people have wanted me to do. I can’t remember the last time I’ve done something for myself except for going into astronomy.” Sooyoung nods her head and flips her hand over to firmly grasp Jinsoul’s own. This is probably the most open Jinsoul’s been with her in a while so of course she’s going to be supportive.

“And you Sooyoung. I’ve always wanted you but I had to give you up to keep you.” She doesn’t mean to scrunch her face up at the statement but it’s so confusing. She has no idea what Jinsoul was talking about. The blonde notices it and laughs, brushing off the silent questions by stepping closer. “I don’t tell you everything because I’d rather not hurt you. But I ended up doing that anyway.” Jinsoul shakes her head and tries to pull away but Sooyoung quickly raises up and brings them closer together. She’s begging Jinsoul at this point to tell her anything. Any clue to guide her to figuring out this mystery clouding over the blonde. 

“It’s okay Jinsoul, you don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.” Jinsoul nods and Sooyoung can tell she’s fighting off tears. 

Bringing her hands around the girl’s back and resting them right at the dip of her spine she waits. “I was just at a dinner party with my parents…,” Sooyoung is confused once again looking into the girl’s eyes for some type of hint. What was so abnormal about that? “ _And my fiancé_.” Sooyoung knows she’s being obvious by the expression on Jinsoul’s face. She doesn’t know what she feels at this point, did Jinsoul say fiancé?

“F-fiancé? Did you say fiancé as in like you’re getting married?” Jinsoul nods slowly and the sob in the blonde’s throat becomes a lot more difficult to contain. Sooyoung is at a loss of words and thoughts together. Should she be angry? Disgusted? Maybe even happy that she can move on from Jinsoul…finally forget about all this messy connection and be there for her best friend. But she knows it won’t be that easy. Especially with the way Jinsoul was looking at her lips.

Sooyoung must have shown a multitude of emotions on her face. Jinsoul was broken in front of her. Shouldn’t she be happy to be engaged? Unless… “who is it Jinsoul?”

The blonde sniffles and rolls her eyes like she’s disgusted too, “his name is Kwon Hyuk he was the guy in my room.” Sooyoung nods her head. She’s never heard anyone by the name of that. He didn’t sound like a nice guy though. She wonders what made Jinsoul fall for him. 

Faking a smile she shakes the blonde in her arms, “well jeez Jinsoul congratulations I don’t know why you were so afraid to tell me. This is kinda a big thing to keep from me.” She hates the weird tension in her voice and how forced her happiness and excitement is. Sooyoung knows somethings up when Jinsoul’s not smiled or anything. She’s just trying her hardest to keep the cries in. 

“I don’t know what to do Sooyoung.” Oh so that’s what it was. Jinsoul must have been confused about all this. Sooyoung recalls Jinsoul’s so-called crush, was he even real? Was she imagining their own connection as well? The panic was starting to settle in. Jinsoul was getting married? To some guy…to someone that wasn’t her. That meant she’d never be Jinsoul’s number one. Not even as her best friend. Sooyoung had fallen out of place once again. Jinsoul was the one in her heart, but was it not the other way around?

Backing away she laughs a bit, throwing the blonde off but she was just trying to calm her nerves.  
“Wow Jinsoul, wow…” Sooyoung smiles at her sympathetically and clasps her hands together. She was grinding her teeth together when Jinsoul started to cry. Although Sooyoung wanted to go scream her lungs out and maybe break something she immediately goes to cradle Jinsoul’s body in her arms since she hated to see her cry. Shushing the girl she asks, she’s never been so confused in her life, “why are you crying?”

Jinsoul squeezes her at the same time the rain starts to pour. Sooyoung grumbles at the site of it. She felt like she was in some movie. “ _Becaur ewe wawn uo tew be miwn…”_ Even though Sooyoung felt a little empty inside at the moment she couldn’t help but giggle at Jinsoul’s attempt at a sentence. The girl usually mumbled when she was sad but it was even worst since she was sobbing. Sooyoung tries to push her back, her face is stuffed between her neck and shoulder. But it proves to be difficult because every time she pushes back Jinsoul whines and buries her head even more. 

“Dumbass I can’t understand you,” Jinsoul finally pulls back and all her makeup has run down her face. Sooyoung wishes whatever thought was making Jinsoul cry would go away. Slowly leaning forward she plants a kiss on Jinsoul’s sweaty forehead. The crying continues but her friend is now smiling. It makes her smile too, Jinsoul was the prettiest girl she’s ever seen, even when she looked her worst.

The girl clears her throat and tries to calm her breath, “I don’t want you to think that you’re not my priority. You will always be the most important person in my life.” Sooyoung feels slightly better from the words but she won’t forget that Jinsoul is getting married to another whole ass person and she’s soaked from the rain because she thought tonight would go different. Preferably confessing her feelings to Jinsoul.

But both times she’s tried that it’s ended terribly. Maybe she should just give up. 

“Please don’t pull away from me, I need you. I need my best friend Sooyoung.” She smiles and ensures Jinsoul that she’ll never leave her side no matter what, no matter how much she’s hurting right now. They run hand in hand back to Jinsoul’s house. Both getting soaked from the rain. Sooyoung thinks the storm in her heart is colder though.

When they’re drying off from the rain she can’t help but stare at Jinsoul’s profile. How she looked so beautiful in the dim lighting of her room, her features couldn’t be sculpted by the greatest artist. They were too perfect. The thought of Jinsoul not being hers created this weird pull in her body but she was still happy to even be in Jinsoul’s life. 

She should be grateful Jinsoul hasn’t pushed her away yet. Not the other way around. Sooyoung needed to figure her feelings out though. She needed time and space. Because being around Jinsoul just made it worst. She was so attached she had always been. But how was she going to continue being this close to Jinsoul without wanting more?

Sooyoung was sick of herself. She wishes she didn’t want more from Jinsoul. Why couldn’t she just move on from the girl? Why was she so stuck on Jinsoul?

But then again who wouldn’t be stuck on Jinsoul. 

Sooyoung has the girl tucked into her. Jinsoul is now softly snoring into her chest as her mind runs rampant at all the contradicting thoughts. She should be happy for Jinsoul because in the end they are just best friends, but something felt off. There were so many questions Sooyoung had but she knows Jinsoul wouldn’t answer them in the way she wanted. Maybe she should talk to Jungeun about all of this. The girl seemed to know what to do in these situations.

She felt defeated. There was such a slim chance now, actually more of no chance at all. She peels herself from Jinsoul’s sleeping form her heart breaking when the cold hits her when she slips out from underneath the sheets. Sooyoung still hears the rain pouring outside so she goes to stand near the window to watch it all fall down.

Her eyes focus on the droplets on the window glass, as she tries to ignore the ones trailing down her cheeks. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	13. Wild strawberries

First waking up, Sooyoung stretches out all her limps. She forgets where she is until her outstretched hand bumps into a Pokémon plushie. That’s when she remembers that she fell asleep at Jinsoul’s. After she went to the girl’s bathroom and cried her eyes out she had crawled back into the bed. The blonde had tried to snuggle back up to her but Sooyoung had carefully kept her space. Not enjoying the feeling of Jinsoul’s touch. 

Lazily pushing herself up she checks out the clock, it was late in the afternoon. She should probably get home and shower before practice and stuff. Usually, she would just stay at Jinsoul’s and get ready there since they could share most things. But today she was feeling jaded. She shouldn’t blame Jinsoul, it was her fault for not ever telling the girl. Maybe if she had then…she wouldn’t be living in one of her nightmares. 

Going to the bathroom she stares at her reflection in the mirror. Sooyoung shakes her head at the site of the dark circles under her eye and reaches for Jinsoul’s toothbrush, only to put it back down. She was starting to realize how truly close they were. The thought of it broke her heart because Sooyoung probably wouldn’t be close at all to Jinsoul sooner or later. She’ll be paying attention to her husband. Out of touch, out of sight. 

Nowhere near Sooyoung. 

There will be no more late-night talks, no more cuddling, no more geeking out with Jinsoul. No more having fun. They were adults now and Sooyoung wasn’t ready to grow up since she missed out on most of it when she was a teen, and even younger. She didn’t want to let Jinsoul go. Sooyoung didn’t want them to become passing friends.

She shudders at the thought of Jinsoul being tied down so early in life. Shouldn’t she be living it up? Or maybe this guy was fun, but looking back. Jinsoul didn’t seem very thrilled with him. Sooyoung hopes she’s overthinking this. Jinsoul did tell her she was still her number one so maybe nothing will change. _Hopefully, nothing will change_. Except Sooyoung secretly wishes this fiancé of Jinsoul’s would fall off the face of the earth. That’s the only change she wants.

Sooyoung was thinking of the worst. She doesn’t even know how long she’s had this fiancé. Just because she knew didn’t mean Jinsoul was suddenly going to start acting differently. Still, she was afraid if were to happen. Putting on some of Jinsoul’s clothes she becomes a little possessive. She should be positive right? Where was this fiancé while Sooyoung was still sleeping and wearing Jinsoul’s clothes? She brings the girls shirt up and smells it. Of course, it smells like coconuts.

Smiling she replays Jinsoul’s words in her head. _You will always be the most important person in my life_. Sooyoung will make sure of it, even if Jinsoul was playing it up just to make her feel better. Take that…Sooyoung had forgotten his name already. Kwon Yuck? She didn’t care as she walked back out of the room and started making her way downstairs. 

Sooyoung needed time to think and be sad. This was a lot for her. She was preparing to confess to Jinsoul, not this. She needed a plan b since her and Jungeun didn’t come up with one. Halfway down she hears whispered out voices. It sounds like they’re arguing. Sooyoung jumps down and sneaks into the kitchen where she finds Jinsoul and Chaewon who seem very angry at each other.

“ _You’re such an idiot Jinsoul now she’s gonna think_ -.” Chaewon cuts her sentence short when she spots Sooyoung standing idly at the doorway. Jinsoul turns around where she wasn’t facing it and didn’t see Sooyoung. They both stand straight up at the sight of her and Sooyoung glares between them. They were acting so weird. Like they were caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing.

Jinsoul clears her throat and cheerfully greets her, “good morning beautiful are you hungry?” Sooyoung blushes at the word beautiful but Jinsoul doesn’t see it since Chaewon had elbowed her and given her a disgusted look. Sooyoung stands there quietly as they start arguing again. She can’t understand a word they’re saying since they’re both mumbling in low tones. 

Sooyoung lets out a short laugh when Chaewon becomes a little violent, holding up a kitchen knife in Jinsoul’s face. Waving her hands she calls out, “actually I’m gonna go home, I already called my aunt.” They both freeze whatever feud they were having and turn to stare at her like she was some alien. Jinsoul frantically shuffles around the counter and walks up to her with panic in her eyes.

“What? No, Sooyoung I fixed your favorite I thought you could just stay before we h-.” Sooyoung brings her hand and covers Jinsoul’s mouth. The girl was starting to ramble.

Smiling she removes her hand, “it’s fine I just wanna go home, is that okay?” She starts to regret her decision when she sees how sad Jinsoul gets. Chaewon is shaking her head and laying the kitchen knife back down behind them. 

Jinsoul blinks and nods her head. Her voice comes out shaky when she replies, “Yeah, um sure. I can make you a to-go plate.” Instantly the girl goes to get Sooyoung some food despite the older girl’s protests. Sooyoung tries to stop Jinsoul since she wasn’t feeling very hungry but the girl ignores her and aggressively fills a plate with various greasy and sugary breakfast foods. 

She’s a little worried that she’s pissed Jinsoul off by the strange aura radiating off her especially when the girl wraps her food up and shoves it into her hands before leaning up to kiss her on the cheek. Sooyoung is a bit dazed from the feeling of Jinsoul’s soft lips on her skin so she doesn’t notice how the blonde storms off and up the stairs. Sooyoung finally shakes the cloudiness in her head and looks at Chaewon. “Is there something up?” 

Chaewon looks off into the opposite direction and shrugs her shoulders. Sooyoung only nods and tells her friend bye before heading out the door to wait for her aunt. Chaewon listens for the door to shut before running up the stairs as well. Breaking into her sister’s room she’s ready to beat her ass until she sees her crying face down in her pillows.

Slowly the blonde approaches her sister with a newfound attitude. She’s supported her sister through the chaos for years but she’s had enough. Chaewon was tired of seeing Jinsoul constantly sulk around and live a miserable life when everything she wanted was right there in front of her, clearly begging for the same thing back. Chaewon knew Jinsoul deserved better, but the blonde set herself up for failure almost every time. Including last night when instead of telling Sooyoung what she wanted instead she put the ‘ _I am unwillingly taken by a man I hate_.’ 

“Soul come on…” Chaewon sits down on the bed and rubs up and down the shivering back. The sobs wracking through the room making her cringe out of guilt and sympathy. She just wanted Jinsoul to be happy. “Maybe she forgot something at home?” 

Jinsoul raises from the pillow and wallows out, “no she’s put off by Kwon and now she’s gonna start talking to other girls again!”

Chaewon frowns, she’s always tried to steer Sooyoung away from flirting with girls for her sister’s sake. Chaewon sometimes would encourage Sooyoung when she was mad at Jinsoul and purposely tell her sister that Sooyoung had been fucking around just to upset her. Chaewon would usually regret it because her sister would have a fit and her heart would break a little at how lovesick the girl was. 

“Noo she won’t I promise. You’re overthinking this, she’s down with you still, which by the way you’re kinda dumb for not tryna to hit it already.” Jinsoul sniffles and glares at her. Chaewon tries her best to not laugh as she recalls the time she walked in at her then 15-year-old sister kissing a picture of Sooyoung. 

Chaewon knew all about Jinsoul’s little obsession. She also knew how annoying it was for Jinsoul to not even do anything about it. Which she couldn’t talk too much since their parents had put the blonde on lockdown and threated Jinsoul if she didn’t cut Sooyoung off. Hence Chaewon being the butt end of many late-night conversations of Jinsoul gushing over Ha Sooyoung and how charming she was. High school it had become worst and Chaewon felt like she had her teen drama listening to Jinsoul rant about the girl.

She missed when they were best friends and would always be gay together. At least then she wasn’t involved. But in the end, she was the only person Jinsoul had, so of course, she was the only one to listen. Her sister worshipped Sooyoung, so much that it was a bit sad, but also very endearing. Chaewon could only appreciate the dedication her sister had for Sooyoung, and be baffled by the stupidity her sister also had.

Chaewon would try and push Jinsoul to just forget about the consequences and go for it. But Jinsoul wanted to complete her little _‘plan’_ before moving things forward. But now, if Jinsoul didn’t move quick enough it may be too late. Her sister loved Sooyoung so much. Jinsoul would always say her love for the loser Chaewon called _bestie_ was as long as it was to the moon and back. Recently though she’s been saying Sooyoung was her entire world.

But that world may be crumbling soon if Jinsoul doesn’t get her act together, “why tell her? Seriously though.”

“Because she kept getting mad because I keep stuff from her.” Chaewon rolls her eyes and stands up. Jinsoul could be so stubborn sometimes. If the girl would just tell her everything then all of this wouldn’t even matter.

Chaewon twists on her feet and bounces on her heels as she smartly replies, “then just tell her how you’re in love with her and all that and boom happily ever after.”

Jinsoul crosses her arms and sits up straighter in the bed. “It’s not that simple Chae.” The younger blonde thinks about how it’s never been simple. But she wishes it was so they could just be together already. 

“Then make it simple.” Her sister rolls her eyes and groans. Chaewon was trying her best to get it through the girls head that it could be easy. “Seriously Jinsoul sooner or later she’s gonna to actually become you’re best friend.” Jinsoul pouts at her over the meaning of her statement. Jinsoul and Sooyoung had always been a little more than just best friends. Sure Chaewon kissed some of her friends and did some suspicious activity but she wasn’t Jinsoul who wrote love letters to Sooyoung…Chaewon wasn’t even sure if she could count how many and Sooyoung who was whipped for her sister even in the times where Jinsoul practically bullied her.

Chaewon was antsy for it to happen. She wasn’t particularly tired of the drama but she was tired of seeing Sooyoung so hurt all the time and her sister simply being dumb. She knew what both of them wanted but neither of them was confident or intelligent enough to do anything about it. Sooyoung let Jinsoul run all over here most of the time and Jinsoul continued to do so. Chaewon was sick of it at this point.

“Listen Jinsoul I know you want everything to go your way but you have to realize that’s not what everyone wants, you have to compromise. So do yourself a favor and tell Sooyoung that you want her or _need_ her, whatever.” Chaewon says with slight sarcasm remembering goofing around with her good friend Chaeyoung when they read Jinsoul’s diary making fun of her sister’s crushing. “Fuck the haters.” Jinsoul gives her a dumb look like she was saying the stupidest shit ever.

Jinsoul scratches at her head, “Kwon would probably kill Sooyoung and don’t even get me started on Dr. Jung.” Chaewon lets her cheeks puff up in frustration. She forgot Kwon was kinda part of a gang. The music industry was pretty dark and he was part of it. That’s how he got studio time was gang banging. Chaewon thinks for a moment and then comes up with an idea.

“Then just secretly fuck her.” Jinsoul’s eyes widen and her whole face turns red at the thought of having sex with Sooyoung. Chaewon thinks it’s kinda gross. “For real, keep it a secret that’d be chill.” Jinsoul was starting to sweat as she nervously laughed.

Jinsoul bounces on the bed a little making Chaewon scoot away, “a-a secret? Like, date her secretly.”

Chaewon side-eyes her, “yes Jinsoul actually I don’t know why you haven’t started yet.” Jinsoul goes silent, staring at her wall ahead. She thinks how cute Sooyoung would be sneaking in and such. Being her little secret. Her flowing fantasies stop when a small hand waves in front of her face, “helloooo earth to dumbie mckgee?”

The blonde shakes her head, “that would be unfair to her, she deserves more than that.”

Chaewon stands up and stomps her tiny feet, “what you’re doing right now is unfair! Sooyoung has been on the losing team for years and you wanna talk about unfair! You’re keeping her on hold for whatever reason and I’m sick of it Jinsoul. I’m sick of you being all sad and I’m sick of you hurting her for no damn reason other than the fact you’re scared.” Jinsoul is shocked at her sister’s aggression and watches her walk towards the door, “stop being a pussy Jinsoul and please god just do what the both of you want already.” 

Jinsoul scrunches up when the door to her room is slammed. Her sister was right, about all of it.

Chaewon had always been right. 

…

Jungeun is slurping on an icy while Sooyoung paces back and forth in the sand. The ash-blonde had been dragged by the older girl to the courts only to be talked to death. Apparently, Jinsoul had a fiancé. Jungeun didn’t even bother listening to half of it because it sounded like bullshit. She had seen the threatening texts Jinsoul had sent Sooyoung when she didn’t answer her phone calls and asking who she was with. If Jinsoul knew it was her that kissed Sooyoung she was sure she’d be ripped apart or even crippled further. 

Sooyoung was on the verge of crying while talking about it. Jungeun had simply snorted when the girl’s voice cracked when she said her best friend was getting married. Sooyoung stops her pacing and looks at her, “we need a plan B your first one isn’t working.” Jungeun stopped sucking on the straw and raised her brow. Her plan was working perfectly fine or at least for her. It only took twenty-seven hours for Jiwoo to come slinging snot and falling to her knees. Now Jungeun was being treated like a princess.

“Hmm what you mean, the pill? Thought you were gay?” Sooyoung groans throwing her head back. Jungeun wasn’t shit after all. At first, Sooyoung thought she was a prophet because the first few weeks playing hard to get was working but now Jinsoul was barely talking to her. Well, it wasn’t like Sooyoung was trying to talk to her either. That was beside the point though. Jinsoul was supposed to be all over by now but it felt like she was just getting further away. Wasn’t Jinsoul driven crazy like she was? 

Sooyoung puffs up, “your plan isn’t working. Jinsoul is ignoring me just as much as I am ignoring her.”

Were they fighting again? Sooyoung didn’t know. She thought they had made up but it was awkward between them now. Jinsoul seemed to want to run away from her every time she tried to talk to her at practice. It was like they were both on edge. Jungeun sighs and leans back onto one arm, “as Alicia Key’s once said your soulmate may be in a relationship, it’s your job to ruin that.” Sooyoung’s jaw is slacked. “So do the opposite of playing hard to get… man, I don’t know? Why are you asking me?” 

“Because I thought you weren’t talking out of your ass!” Sooyoung whines only for Jungeun to roll her eyes and flips her shades down before laying down on the sand. Sooyoung gives up on Jungeun. She would do what she does best which was kinda what Jungeun said. The complete opposite of the first plan, she was going to annoy the hell out of Jinsoul. 

Sooyoung does some warm-up drills waiting for everyone else to show up, well only one person. When she sees a familiar jeep roll up in the distance she checks out everything. She makes sure her shorts are rolled up and sitting nicely on her hips, she redid her ponytail and took off her shirt so that she was only in her sports bra. Maybe Sooyoung was wrongly approaching this but many times she’s used her looks to get what she wanted and this time she had a feeling it would work. 

The girl can recall when Jinsoul has ogled her and even went to the extremes of groping her. She waits patiently for Jinsoul to walk towards the beach. The blonde looked extremely tired and her hair was frizzy from the humidity. She didn’t even look Sooyoung’s way as she threw her bag on the sand and started to get ready for practice. 

Sooyoung breathes deeply through her nose and marches over to the girl. Jinsoul is yawning while pulling her sunscreen out and doesn’t even notice the tall body towering over her. “Jung Jinsoul.” The blonde freezes and looks up at her, Sooyoung mentally celebrates when Jinsoul’s eyes crawl over her body. Jinsoul shakes her head and smiles up at her like she wasn’t just biting her lips at the dip of Sooyoung’s stomach and the toned lines of her abs.

“Oh hey haha?” Jinsoul’s eyes are wide and she’s smiling widely. She narrows her eyes at Jinsoul’s suspicious behavior. Jinsoul gets weirded out by her stare and slowly goes back to getting ready. Pulling her hair into a bun and squirting some sunscreen on her hands. Sooyoung kneels down and gets close to Jinsoul.

Taking the girl’s hand in her own she rubs the sunscreen off of her hand onto her own. “Here let me help with that.” Squirting more on her hand she gestures for Jinsoul to lay down. The blonde has to be told a few times since she’s a bit in a daze from Sooyoung’s forwardness. Her best friend had been acting strangely for the past few days, well ever since she told her she had a fiancé. Jinsoul was just giving her space before she was going to try anything. To let Sooyoung have some time to forget about it.

Sooyoung crawls on tops of her and waits for Jinsoul to wiggle her shirt off. She hums as she spreads the lotion on Jinsoul’s soft skin as the blonde does the same, but Jinsoul’s noise is more audible. It had been forever since she’s had her hands on Jinsoul like this. Rubbing into her hard she pays attention to the way Jinsoul’s eyebrows scrunch up and her hand clutches to the loose sand. Sooyoung also ignores how Jungeun is looking over with a shocked expression on her face. 

Feeling the muscles twitch underneath she can’t help but smile. “It’s hot today isn’t it?” Jinsoul leans up onto her elbows and hangs her head low.

“Yah…very hot.”

Sooyoung squeezes in a particular spot making Jinsoul let out a muffled noise. Finishing up smearing the white cream…all over Jinsoul’s back she stands up and helps Jinsoul stand as well. Sooyoung isn’t surprised when Jinsoul brings them chest to chest. Sooyoung glares at her, “you’ve been ignoring me.” Jinsoul is too busy staring at her lips. The blonde slightly shakes her head before darting her eyes up to meet her own. 

“No, you’ve been the one acting weird.” Jinsoul’s eyes are dark and she doesn’t know for sure if she’s pissed or teasing her. Sooyoung leans closer and it’s way too close for just some teammates to be chatting with each other. She could feel how hot Jinsoul’s breath was on her lips, it was like steam.

Pressing a finger into Jinsoul’s chest she defends herself, “no you are.” 

Jinsoul’s face morphs into a more aggressive matter. “So you’re the one that’s not been talking to me and suddenly I’m acting weird. How would you know since you’ve haven’t even paid attention to me?” Sooyoung’s temper starts to bubble. She was too stubborn to let Jinsoul win this argument because the girl was obviously right. Maybe Jinsoul was reading it the right way, actually leaving her alone as if that’s what she wanted.

So instead of being mature, she takes a low jab, “sorry I just don’t want to get between you and your fiancé since I’m only your best friend.” She knows she’s pissed Jinsoul when the blonde’s eyes widen and her face goes red. That night Jinsoul made it very clear that Sooyoung was above him and she believed for the most part.

“Grow up Sooyoung,” Jinsoul scoffs and brushes past her and walks towards the nets. Practice was going to be interesting today. She follows after Jinsoul slinging her arm around her when she’s close enough to her. Jinsoul tries to push her off but her hand lingers on her tummy when Sooyoung doesn’t let her break free. 

Smiling with her teeth she mocks Jinsoul, “I was only kidding god you don’t have to get so worked up.” The hand on her tummy becomes a lot more active as Jinsoul rubs her thumb over her skin, digging her nails into her skin. It makes Sooyoung bite her lip at the feeling, she’s really missed Jinsoul. Ever since the fight at the party, they haven’t been the same. 

Jinsoul is definitely pissed at the mention of Kwon. She would hate herself if Sooyoung actually thought that. “You’re being annoying.” Sooyoung is finally pushed away. She lets Jinsoul do it because she wasn’t for she could handle the faint touch anymore, Jinsoul’s touch always made her hotter than the sun. 

“I think you like it.” Sooyoung hopes the red tint on Jinsoul’s cheek is from her comment and not the heat. Stretching her muscles out she grunts when her bones pop making Jinsoul stare over at her. Sooyoung makes sure she’s doing the most, liking the way Jinsoul’s eyes hood over _. It’s your job to ruin that_. “I know you’d rather be getting married to me instead.” Jinsoul’s face falls and Sooyoung laughs when the blonde’s face turns red as a tomato. 

The next thing Sooyoung knows is Jinsoul is smacking her in the chest so she just pulls Jinsoul closer by the waist laughing even harder when the blonde squirms in her arms. Sooyoung is having fun until the whistle blows making her jump away from her teammate. Coach V is standing there with her arms crossed, “girl time over.” 

Sighing out she gets ready to sweat her ass off since her coach didn’t look too happy. At least she had Jinsoul smiling, that’s all that mattered. 

…

The local pawn shop had a lot of goodies, things that Chaewon liked. Currently, she was with Sooyoung’s twin sisters the both of them playing with old katanas while the store owner was visibly getting irritated by the three of them. Chaewon was getting iced out. Many crackheads would come in and sell the jewelry they stole from family members and she took advantage of that. Now every finger had a ring and she had on two gold chains. 

“Hey little girl, don’t you think that’s a bit much for you?” Chaewon gives him the dirtiest look imaginable as she hears something crashing behind her. The man seemed unfazed as he continued to have a stare down with the small blonde.

Chaewon opens her mouth to show off her grillz, “bitch I’m up in here like two chainz what you mean it’s a bit too much, that gut you packing a bit too much.” He frowns at her as she hands him the small black card she stole from her dad. It’s not like he paid much attention to these things anyways. When she’s paying for her items the two girls behind her come up begging for the swords as well. 

Her lips are a little jutted from the oversized jewels in her teeth but she tries to smile only to come off as evil. Yerim looks the other direction and Chaewon buys the swords as well. She waves the man goodbye before flipping him off when he waves back laughing as she walks through the barred up doors. Walking up to Kirby she misses the pink color it used to have. Now it was a basic black because she was wanted by the police right now and riding round in a bubblegum whip was way too obvious. 

Pulling her keys out she waves them in front of the girls, “either of you got a license?” Both of them shake their head no. “Who wanna drive, I gotta roll one.” Hyejoo jumps at the chance and snatches the keys out of her hand, leaving Yerim to pout. Chaewon smiles which again is off-putting while she wraps an arm around the girl. “Come on you can smoke with me in the back.” 

Yerim giggles and smacks her on the arm, “nah Chae I’m good you know I ain’t with it like that.” 

The blonde frowns and goes to open the back door, “come on lame ass smoke me out.” Yerim internally battles with herself before getting in the back with her. She had formally corrupted Sooyoung. The girl hated partying so it was a struggle to get her to start smoking weed. But once she had started Sooyoung had quickly become her favorite person to pass a blunt with. Chaewon had Hyejoo smoking with her since the girl was fourteen, she knew that one would probably become a stoner with the way she ate takis and squirt cheese while playing video games all day.

After Yerim, it was Heejin and Hyunjin she was going to convert. It wouldn’t take Heejin much because if she got Hyunjin to do it the shorter girl would totally follow her without a single complaint. Rolling up the windows since she had the top on she reaches in the front where Hyejoo was messing with all the car’s buttons, Chaewon opens up the glove department and pulls out her favorite thing in the world.

Putting it up to her lips she lights the tips and inhales deeply, before passing it to Yerim. The girl hesitates before bringing it to mouth and doing the same. Chaewon giggles as the girl chokes up, “the more you cough the higher you’ll get.” Hyejoo was speeding through town, serving in lanes and running stop signs. Chaewon was way too high to even notice. 

“Man I can’t see shit in here,” Hyejoo grumbles at the smoke accumulating in the car. The girl’s in the back giggling as she slows the car to a crawl. Hyejoo was getting second hand faded from the hot-boxing and she was afraid she was going too fast. Chaewon tells her to pull into a car lot so they can just chill. Rolling up to the toll booth Chaewon rolls down her tinted window and the smoke rolls out in waves making the young women in the booth cough.

“Sorry, it’s incense ma’am aha ha…” The woman curses at her while she takes the money. But she still lets them through since she didn’t want to deal with it. Once they’re parked they get out to go sit on the edge of the concrete so they can look out onto the city. Yerim is being quiet as Hyejoo and Chaewon chat it up like they always do. Chaewon knows if the girl was a bit older they would bestie’s because the younger wasn’t annoying like Sooyoung.

Hyejoo glances at her sister, “yo is she stuck?” Chaewon takes five minutes to catch on and does a 360 before finding Yerim swaying back and forth, her eyes glued to the pavement. Hyejoo giggles and pushes on her twin, “she’s gone, bro!”

Chaewon claps her hands together as she laughs. After getting the giggles out they both shake on the girl making her lowly groan out. “Stoooop it the earth is moving. I can feel it moving.” Chaewon shares a look with Hyejoo before they both burst out into laughter limping over to the edge. They weren’t far from the ground only a level.

The blonde watched all the people walk around while the girl beside her made fun of most of them, “isn’t that Yeojin’s sister?” Chaewon hums and squints down at the ground. Her eyes widen when she spots her sister’s nasty man with two hotties beside him. There was a girl with a bob and a taller girl with long freshly dyed black hair.

When she recognizes the girls she screams, “fuck ass bitches!” Storming to her car she opens it up to pop the trunk. Going to the back she gets her high tech military scope out that was decorated in Shiba Inu stickers. Walking back to the edge she spies on the three. The girls were all over him and it was making Chaewon’s skin crawl.

Haseul and Doyeon had both fucked with Sooyoung before and she knew this was no coincidence. They were either out to get her sister because of the almighty Deangle berry or they were out to get Sooyoung. Cursing again she turns around ready to round the girl’s up and go give them a piece of her mind. Only for Yerim to be missing. Yelling out the girl’s name she panics and looks back down. They were all getting into a fancy sports car. 

Chaewon shakes her head, she’d catch them next time. 

…

Guzzling down the rest of Jinsoul’s water she sighs contently before handing the container back to the blonde, “thanks, babes.” Jinsoul only nods her head while staring at the water droplets running down her throat. Smiling she grabs on to the girl’s shoulder, “you wanna come over tonight? Maybe wind down a bit.” She finishes the sentence with a wink making Jinsoul blush. 

Practice was hard since it was extremely hot and now there was only four of them. Coach V had them running drills and scrimmaging the whole time so it was safe to say Sooyoung was exhausted. “We can do anything you’d like.” Hyunjin had come up beside them as Jiwoo said goodbye to them while packing Jungeun off like a baby. Jinsoul was visibly shaking, Sooyoung doesn’t know if it’s from the heat or from the constant bickering they did during practice.

Jinsoul was annoyed with her, she kept switching back and forth from teasing and flirting. She doesn’t know if they blonde even liked it or not. “Anything?” Sooyoung nods and steps closer straightening out her ponytail before letting it swing. 

The blonde can’t take it. Sooyoung was being too much right now. The ponytail was making her ears more noticeable while her jawline and neck were on display, her collar bones poking out from her small shirt that was sticking to her skin from all the sweat. Jinsoul found her…almost appetizing. And her attitude wasn’t helping any either.

During practice, Sooyoung had constantly coached her through what she was doing wrong while providing lingering touches that made the heat swirl in her stomach. She couldn’t help but bite back making Sooyoung’s attitude even worse. It was safe to say Jinsoul hasn’t been this horny since the night at the club when she was sandwiched in between Sooyoung and a good friend of hers from high school. 

Jinsoul remembered how good it felt to have Sooyoung’s hands all over her when she was so sensitive from the high. Her body was buzzing at that moment and the girl’s hands had been so dangerously close to where she had always fantasized it being. It didn’t help when Sooyoung had kissed her so sensually when pulling her close while grinding her hips into her.

She swears she can still feel the pillow-like lips on hers. She couldn’t wait to do it again. 

“Okay, fine let’s go.” Sooyoung shrieks and bounces a bit. Jinsoul stares at her tits as she does so. Snapping her fingers she brings the girl’s gaze back up to her face. What can she say? Her body always got her what she wanted. Grabbing onto the girl’s arm she lets Jinsoul escort her to the jeep while talking to her sister who was, of course, tagging along. 

Jinsoul seems tense so Sooyoung softly rubs on her back while whispering to her, “Soulie did you work yourself too hard today?” The blonde side-eyes her as she continues, “I can give you a massage when we get home?” Jinsoul yells out and stops them. Sooyoung and Hyunjin stare at her with concerned looks on their faces. Why was Jinsoul acting so weird? Sooyoung mumbles out, sliding her hand on the blonde’s arm, “okay…um, we can take an ice bath?”

The girl is fumbling for her keys, “t-together?” Sooyoung only nods and she swears she sees Jinsoul’s eyes gloss over before the girl goes to get in the driver’s seat. 

“What’s up with her?” Hyunjin grumbles out and Sooyoung shrugs before calling shotgun. Hopping in the front with Jinsoul she sighs as her sweaty body comes in contact with the leather seat. Though she’s still not comfortable because of the person beside her. Jinsoul is way too proper with the way she drives when usually she has a foot propped up on a seat and her body leaned into the door. Maybe it was because Hyunjin was in here she was being extra cautious. 

Sooyoung is taking in the chill air from the vents when her sister pans out, “I’m going to hang out with by boo later so you’ll have the room to yourself for…you know what.” Sooyoung gives her a thumbs up until she realizes what her sister just implied. Turning around she goes to grab her sister who has her mouth covered cracking up. Sooyoung glances at Jinsoul who at first seems like she didn’t get it or was even paying attention but with the blush on her neck and cheeks she definitely did. 

“Oh come on don’t act like that Sooyoung I know you and Jinsoul are fucking on the low low.” Sooyoung is about to pull her hair out when she hears Jinsoul whimper beside her. Yes, she was flirting with her, but she didn’t want to make it so obvious that it made her uncomfortable.

Smacking her sister on the leg she screams when Hyunjin hits back, “she has a fiancé! We’re not fucking dumbass stop being weird!” Hyunjin sees the panic in her eyes and quickly shuts up. Sooyoung turns around and apologizes to Jinsoul who is latched onto the steering wheel for dear life. Palming her face Sooyoung internally screams, why couldn’t Hyunjin keep her mouth shut?

Jinsoul wants to yell too, but she knows it would be wasted breath. She was going crazy at the fact that she and Sooyoung could be in her room together…alone when she was this turned on, so much that she felt it soaking her panties. Maybe she’d just listen to Chaewon and secretly…Jinsoul stops herself when she hears Sooyoung tell her sister that she has a fiancé. It ruined the whole vibe, that Sooyoung knew there was a boundary. 

The car ride becomes awkward. Even more so when Hyunjin calls up her girlfriend, “hey bae,” Sooyoung looks out the window while eavesdropping on her sister. She hates how she’s even more of a player than she is, “shawty waya doin right now?” Sooyoung stifles a laugh as her younger sister starts to lay the moves on thick. 

Sooyoung thinks it’s cute until she becomes the topic of discussion, “you know how I said I thought sis was freak’n with Jinsoul?” Sooyoung actually screams this time but with her mouth closed. “Well, they’re not actually! Jinsoul getting married.” Jinsoul pulls to a stop since they’re at an intersection and the light was red making the situation more awkward, “yeah for real! I thought Soo was getting some.” 

Breathing out slowly she looks at Jinsoul who has her eyes closed, glancing up she notices the light is green so she reaches over to grab onto the girl’s thigh. She didn’t know she’d get the reaction she got. Jinsoul knotted her brows together and sighed out before opening both her mouth and eyes to gaze down. “Umm, the light green.” Jinsoul nods and starts to drive again. Sooyoung goes to pull her hand away but another doesn’t allow her too. She keeps her eyes on the spot where Jinsoul has her hand trapped.

Sooyoung makes an O with lips when she watches the blonde’s legs spread a bit more, “oh…damn.” She doesn’t mean to speak out but she keeps her hand there when Jinsoul goes back to driving with both hands. The girl’s skin is way too hot and soft and Sooyoung can’t help but knead the flesh underneath her palm. Rubbing up and down slowly she stares at how tense Jinsoul’s throat is. Sooyoung has never seen something more mouthwatering when Jinsoul swallows making it bobble up and down. The way she wants to just lean over and nibble on that jawline of Jinsoul’s. Laughing at herself she turns her head to the side and plays it off by looking out the window.

The way she wished she could just inch her hand up a little further, to test out how sensitive Jinsoul was. To see if she would squirm from her touch. Jinsoul was sweaty and a little sticky from practice but that made Sooyoung want to lick it all off, head to toe. She knows she’d enjoy the taste of saltiness on her tongue if she dragged in on the insides of Jinsoul’s-, “okay byeee love you I’ll see you in a min.” Sooyoung jerks her hand away from Jinsoul’s thigh and puts it back on her own lap. 

She didn’t even dare to look over. Sooyoung had no idea what that was, but she smiles at what it could have been. 

It’s not too much longer until they make it home all of them stumbling out of the car from being exhausted. Jinsoul doesn’t even wait for them as she slips inside. Hyunjin comes up to Sooyoung who is still getting her things out of the back hatch, “you’re such a bird…” Rolling her eyes she slams the door down.

“At least I ain’t with a pick me.” Hyunjin scoffs and pushes her on the shoulders making her bags slip out of her hands.

“Heejin isn’t a pick me.”

“Oh really? Jeon Heejin, country-side girl that likes boy bands suddenly listens to RnB and the blues?” Hyunjin is in denial so she shakes her head. “The same girl who bought a cat, for which she is allergic to when you said you liked cats more than dogs?” Hyunjin clicks her tongue and waves her off. “The girl who said she baked you a cake but it was from the damn store? Heejin ain’t a pick me?”

“Man shut up,” Sooyoung smirks as her sister gives up walking inside. Following her in, she goes up the stairs instead of the kitchen where her aunt and Hyunjin is. Slipping in her room she gives Jinsoul who is face down in her pillow a weird look. Crawling closer to the girl she puts her hand on her shoulder. 

Shaking her she only receives a groan in response, “come on let’s get into some ice.”

Jinsoul raises her head from her pillow, “uhm, n-naked? Are we going to be naked?” Sooyoung blinks a few times. Was Jinsoul being serious?

“No? Are you crazy we’ll just do it in our clothes right now.” Jinsoul nods and almost looks disappointed which confuses Sooyoung. Did she want to get naked…ignoring the images in her head and the dull ache starting to form in her lower region she guides Jinsoul back down the stairs to their non-working bathroom. Plugging up the drain she tells Jinsoul to wait right there while she fetches the ice bag in the kitchen, ignoring the stares from her Granma, aunt and sister and bucket to get the water from the hose in the yard. 

Jinsoul watches her closes as she prepares the tub. The water was already cool and the ice made it even colder. When it was ready Sooyoung was the first to plunge in. “Ah fuck that’s so cold.” 

The blonde stands up and smiles down at her, “well duh you thought it would be warm?” Sooyoung curses at the giggling girl and splashes some of the water on her making the small laughs turn into screams.

Jinsoul slowly lowers herself as well their legs connecting under the ice and water since the tub wasn’t that big anyway. Sooyoung sits on one end while Jinsoul is on the other their knees knocking together as they get situated. Sooyoung lets herself relax and slides in further. Ready to take a mental break from all the busy thoughts today.

Until she heard chattering teeth, “Jinsoul shut up!” 

“B-b-but I’m so c-kh-cooold” Opening one eye up she stares at the girl in front of who’s nose was already red and cheeks flushed. 

Sighing in frustration she opens up her body, “come here, I’ll keep you warm.” Jinsoul hesitates at first but soon enough she’s sloshing over to her. Sooyoung holds Jinsoul close to her and she feels her chest open up with a new found warmth when Jinsoul snuggles her face into her neck. Drawing circles in the girl’s back she quietly whispers out almost afraid of saying it, “you know how much I love you right?” 

She can feel her nod against the crook of her neck and small hands go to grab at the fabric of her wet shirt. Sooyoung tangles their legs together and wraps her arms all the way around the small shaking body against her. Squishing her cheek against Jinsoul’s forehead she takes in how nice this really feels. Just being this close to Jinsoul. It was her most favorite feeling in the entire world. Rubbing her cheek against the greasy forehead she mumbles out shyly, “I don’t want you to get married Jinsoul.”

Sooyoung hears the gasp underneath her and she thinks she’s gone too far until hands wrap around her as well. “You know I don’t either, at least not to him. I don’t love him Sooyoung. It’s just what Dr. Jung wants.” Sooyoung squeezes the body in her grip. She hated Jinsoul’s father. Jinsoul and Chaewon weren’t even allowed to call him dad. The man had always been cold, even colder than the ice they were sitting in right now.

Her father had raised Jinsoul, both of them. Chaewon more than Jinsoul though. That was until he passed away and it had broken all of them. Sooyoung looked up to her father more than anyone, just like Jinsoul had. “That’s not what you want though, that’s the only thing that should matter.” Jinsoul sniffles and raises up from her little safe haven she found in the comfort of Sooyoung’s body. Sooyoung raises her hand up from where it was resting on Jinsoul’s waist to brush the loose blonde hairs out of the girl’s face. 

“Whatever I want?” Sooyoung nods her head slowly, staring into Jinsoul eyes that were so dark and light at the same time. She can’t recall the last time she’s seen something this beautiful. She swears she sees the stars in them when Jinsoul breaks out into a breathtaking smile. She was pretty sure she just saw her teeth sparkle. Sooyoung feels her heart flutter away when Jinsoul softly speaks out, “And what if I’m looking at her?” 

Biting her lip she breaks the stare down because she thought her heart might burst from the pressure if she stared any longer. “If that’s what you really want then…I won’t stop you.” This was everything she’s ever needed. Jinsoul was everything. 

Jinsoul giggles out a melody as she goes back down to rest her head against her chest. “It’ll always be you Sooyoung.” She wonders if Jinsoul can hear her heart drumming against her chest. Probably so because the girl wiggles against her making the ice shake. They may have been freezing their asses off but Sooyoung knows she’s never felt warmer than she did in this moment.

“Also I want to get out of this freaking ice…”

Sooyoung laughs at the blonde, her eyes scrunching up in happiness. They spend the night talking about the past. How they used to keep warm by a kerosene heater because they didn’t have a unit in the house. Huddled close together underneath a blanket with cups of coco in their hands. Jinsoul could have easily stayed her home where there were multiple heating units. But she wanted to be by Sooyoung’s side. 

There Jinsoul understood what it was really like to have a family, with her sister and the Ha family surrounded by her.

Jinsoul was closely snuggled against her underneath the sheets when the blonde reminded her of the day they were taught how to swim by Sooyoung’s father. He had taken them to the beach where no one went and threw them in while saving them if they started to drown. Sooyoung was a quick learner so she started to save Jinsoul instead. They then began swimming every day, floating on their backs whenever they found the perfect spot where the waves didn’t break.

Sooyoung recalls a more recent memory. When they were only twelve, they had ventured out into the forest like they always did one summer night. Sooyoung dragged her best-friend through the trees while the younger girl groaned behind her struggling to keep her oversized glasses on. The crickets chirping in the darkness the moonlight only making things visible.

They had ran into the field and held up the jars they brought as they collected the fireflies that were everywhere. It was one of Jinsoul’s favorite things because the little bugs reminded of her of the stars which she had come to love. Sooyoung caught as many as she could using her speed to capture them while Jinsoul took a more careful approach but still ending up more clumsy than the rowdier girl. 

She’d held her jar up for Jinsoul smiling with her front teeth as the flickering lights reflected onto the girl’s glasses making her mouth drop in awe, her eyes round as she took in the amazing light show. Jinsoul would then smile at her just the same. Except her teeth were much straighter. They watched the tiny bugs a bit longer, using them as lanterns as they walked across the field to find a place to sit and stargaze. Sooyoung then would release them to the sky and watch them become stars as well as they flew up. 

Jinsoul had laid there beside her when she found something interesting beside their bodies, Sooyoung stills remembered the girl’s face when she held it up.

_“Look Soobunny it’s a wild strawberry!”_

Jinsoul found more and made her try it, she hated the bitter taste of them but the girl seemed to love it. Sooyoung had always been told she was a rotten kid so maybe that’s why Jinsoul stuck around her. Because she found sweetness in the sourest things. 

But then Sooyoung ended up liking the taste when she tried it from Jinsoul’s lips. It was their first kiss. It was what made Sooyoung realize Jinsoul wasn’t just some girl who had her head in the clouds and cried over a fly getting hurt. Jinsoul wasn’t just some shy kid that couldn’t see very well. She wasn’t just her best friend. Sooyoung had found _her_ the person that her father said she’d find one day. That person that made her want to love. Sooyoung fluttered her eyes open then, her heart pounding to the beat of the world while she glanced at Jinsoul’s lips covered in red juice and a few seeds. 

Jinsoul was all of that and more…so much more. She had always been everything to Sooyoung since the day they met as just small toddlers. But it had just taken the moonlight from tonight for Sooyoung to see it. How much she loved Jinsoul.

The girl who had a small bitter fruit smushed on her fingertips, bringing them to her lips to create some more natural lip balm that Sooyoung was eager to try as well. Not on herself of course. 

But by kissing Jinsoul. Underneath the stars, where it seemed like it was only them. And it would always be only them.

Sooyoung learned to love the taste of wild strawberries.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The end…


	14. Flowers and Cookies

“No, that's.”

“Be quiet.” Sooyoung smiled at herself when she heard Jinsoul sigh heavily. Currently, she was covered in dirt and sweat, her hands buried in the soil of Jinsoul’s back yard garden. The blonde had trouble keeping it up since her mother had lost passion for it, but of course, Jinsoul hadn’t. So whenever she had time she would work in it. Keeping everything clean, making sure there were no weeds, and planting various flowers.

Like they were doing right now. Sooyoung knew beside the night sky, the cool earth was Jinsoul’s next favorite thing to immerse herself in. The girl had always been obsessed with the colors various plants could sprout through flowers, and the sweet fruits they could produce. Sooyoung remembers how Jinsoul would carry around a botanical encyclopedia when they were younger, rambling on about the cute flowers they would come across while exploring. Sometimes Sooyoung would pretend that she was going to destroy the tiny plants just to rile up Jinsoul.

But she never did, because she didn’t want to upset Jinsoul. Instead, she would laugh and ask her friend to tell her all about the certain flower she was about to murder even though she wasn’t particularly interested. She just loved the way Jinsoul would get lost in her words because Sooyoung would end up getting lost too. She loved the way Jinsoul would glow because her smile became bright when she talked about something she found neat. 

Sooyoung never had a better teacher than Jinsoul even though the girl wasn’t right about everything. Jinsoul made learning fun because the younger girl’s passion about the things she loved made you genuinely think they were important enough to know all about. Soon Sooyoung realized that everything Jinsoul loved was, _in fact_ , important, because she was important to Sooyoung.

Now Sooyoung was experiencing that same bright smile from her blonde headed friend. She had found herself helping Jinsoul plant flowers in a previously neglected mound of dirt. But she came to find out she wasn’t as good as a gardener as she used to be. “Sooyoung stop.” Jinsoul wasn’t being too serious because she was laughing as she tried to steal her spade from her hands. Sooyoung was sloppily digging holes in the dirt, contrasting Jinsoul’s nicely dug holes to plant the seeds.

“I know what I’m doing keep those dirty hands to yourself.” Sooyoung giggles when Jinsoul huffs out against for the hundredth time.

Jinsoul reaches over to push her sunhat down, covering up her eyes. “If you know what you’re doing then do it right.” Sooyoung raises her head but from her hat being in her view, she can’t see Jinsoul. She also can’t see how the blonde is biting her lip trying to fight the urge to lean over and kiss her mouth that was hanging open.

“And how am I supposed to do that when I can’t see shit?” Sooyoung smiles hearing the laugh that breaks from Jinsoul. It made butterflies erupt in her tummy. Sooyoung felt like some teenager again. It was just like when they were younger but the feelings felt heavier than they did years ago. They were deeper and stronger, meaning they were a lot more dangerous. But she was confident that Jinsoul wouldn’t rip them from her chest. Instead, she believed Jinsoul would allow her to let these feelings grow.

She’d only hoped Jinsoul would treat her heart as delicately as she did the flowers.

They were both mature now, more aware of each other than the childish love you have for a friend when you think they’re perfect. There was a reveal of flaws and petty behavior, like the fight at the party and the standoff post-honest time when Jinsoul told her she had a fiancé. But unlike the past, they had sensible solutions to their conflicts. Sooyoung started to understand Jinsoul more and the fact that Jinsoul had never hated her. But had to stay away from her for whatever reason she still did not know. And it was easier to keep the distance with someone you supposedly hated. 

Now they were enjoying the things they did while they were younger while doing so much more, making up for the time they lost due to impracticality and immaturity. Sooyoung had felt as close to Jinsoul as she did when she was only ten. But as the days went on she started to sense that they were getting even closer than they were when they were kids. 

Pushing up her hat she met with Jinsoul’s small smile. The girl only had a cap on and her hair pulled back, making her face look even sharper than it already did. Except for her cheeks, Jinsoul’s cheeks would always be round and that fact was very pleasing to Sooyoung. Jinsoul tilts her head so Sooyoung follows her movements, “you think you’re cute.” Sooyoung tries to not show any expression as she stares into Jinsoul’s calming eyes.

“I don’t think I am,” Jinsoul’s eyes narrow telling Sooyoung that she disagrees with the statement until she smiles and finishes the sentence. “I know I’m cute.” Jinsoul rolls those soft black eyes and pushes her lightly on the shoulders. Sooyoung loses her balance but catches herself with her hand and leans back onto her knees when Jinsoul goes back to digging in the dirt and patting it back carefully when she places a seed in the hole. 

Jinsoul mumbles something out and Sooyoung barely catches it, she’s glad she did because it makes her heart beat faster, “the cutest.” 

Sooyoung wipes her forehead trying to distract from her suddenly racing heart, “so what are we planting exactly?” It’s a simple question, simpler than _do you know how you make me feel?_

“Yellow roses and daffodils,” Sooyoung nods and starts to dig seriously. Jinsoul is silent for a few moments until she murmurs out, “they both symbolize friendship and new beginnings.” Sooyoung freezes in her spot and slowly turns to look at Jinsoul’s side profile. Had Jinsoul’s jawline always been that sharp? “I thought it would be nice to plant them with each other or…um together, you know since we’re best friends again.”

Sooyoung smirks and reaches over to pinch Jinsoul’s blushing cheek receiving a whine in response. Sooyoung tries to rub the dirt off Jinsoul’s face but the blonde doesn’t allow her. Relaxing on her hands she takes in how pretty Jinsoul is in the evening light. The sweat on her skin making her glow. Sooyoung loved golden hour. She’s never seen anyone more beautiful than this. 

“That’s so sweet of you Soulie,” She fakes a sweet tone that makes Jinsoul’s blush deeper. Her chest was light considering the fact that Jinsoul was planting flowers in her honor. Their honor.

Jinsoul doesn’t acknowledge it, suddenly becoming shy. Sooyoung pays close attention and watches the blonde’s throat bob up and down, “there are also red and pink camellias in here.”

Sooyoung hums and asks, “And what do they symbolize?”

The girl freezes and stares at the ground, Sooyoung becomes more curious from how the question basically froze her friend. Jinsoul then resumes planting whatever seed she had in her palm, “I’m not for sure.” Sooyoung doesn’t think Jinsoul would lie about such a simple thing so she shrugs it off. 

Sooyoung flips around and rests for a bit, content on watching Jinsoul do all the work. “What was your favorite again? Sunflowers?” Jinsoul raises her head where it was tilter over, focused on making precise holes. 

Jinsoul nods slightly, “yeah them of course but when I went to Hawaii I kinda fell in love with a new species.” Sooyoung smiles at the statement, Jinsoul must have had so much fun there since the night sky was much more vivid than it was in the city. “They’re called plumerias, it’s amazing at how they come in all sorts of colors, like a cuter version of a rose maybe. They smell like heaven too.” Jinsoul gazes up as she relives the memory. Like she was back across the seas with the fresh scent in her invading her thoughts.

Flipping back over Sooyoung grabs her spade again, “I’m sure they’re beautiful.” Just like the girl that fell in love with them. Sooyoung adds in her mind.

“You’re right and I’ll show you someday, just how beautiful they are.”

Their short conversation ends there and they finish the job after an hour or so. Sooyoung stands up first cracking her bones and taking her hat off to wipe all the sweat off her forehead and face. She groans when she pops a particular spot in her back making Jinsoul laugh a bit. Sooyoung stands around while Jinsoul waters the newly planted seeds until she runs out halfway through. 

“Come get some wata with me.” Sooyoung takes Jinsoul’s hand in her own when the blonde holds it out. On the way, Sooyoung makes fun of the way Jinsoul speaks, her friend trying to pull their hands apart as she continues to joke but Sooyoung only holds her hand tighter. 

They make it to the pretty old fountain that really needed some work. The water barely spurted out creating a funny noise that Sooyoung couldn’t be mature about, “kinda sounds like pus-.” Jinsoul’s stare cuts deep so she quickly shuts up. She allows Jinsoul to break free from her death grip and closely watches Jinsoul bend down to fill the watering can back up. Sooyoung knows she shouldn’t be checking Jinsoul out right now, but she couldn’t help it, the shorts Jinsoul had on were way too...

“Damn baby …is that all you?” Sooyoung hadn’t really appreciated Jinsoul’s curves for a while so she took the chance to really take it all in. Jinsoul hears her and turns around to ask Sooyoung what the hell she was talking about only to find out Sooyoung was staring at her ass. 

Jinsoul blushes from how obvious it is, “Sooyoung.”

The girl only hums, not taking her eyes off the cheeks peeking out from the denim, oh how she just wanted to take a bite-. “Stop staring at my butt.”

Bringing her eyes up she sees that she’s been caught. Jinsoul’s blush is way worse now, it’s all the way down her neck. Sooyoung isn’t fazed at all, “okay.” She doesn’t even wait for Jinsoul to turn back before she goes back to fantasizing about how tasty a snack Jinsoul would be. When Sooyoung is in the middle of replaying memories of Jinsoul’s ass giggling at practice the blonde suddenly stands up and crosses her arms.

Sooyoung turns to look off into the distance and tries to play it off as she wasn’t just thinking about hitting from the back. “Come on pervert I have enough water now.” Sooyoung smiles and re-tangles her hand with Jinsoul and buries all the dirty thoughts in her mind. She shouldn’t be thinking about those things…yet. She was only focused on making Jinsoul happy, hopefully, one-day pleasing Jinsoul in that way will make her happy. 

After Jinsoul finishes watering the ground they skip back towards the house. Until Jinsoul stops them in their tracks, “look Sooyoung!” She turns her gaze south, it’s the first time she blushes that day when she spots a patch of wild strawberries. Jinsoul hunches down to pick them. The blonde excitedly hops up and down and breaks into a sprint to the patio doors. Sooyoung can only chase after her.

Huffing out she stares at the girl now washing them off with a random bottle of water she found. Sooyoung closes the doors back so the summer heat can’t get into the climate-controlled back porch that was screened in. “I don’t know why you like those so much they’re gross.” Jinsoul gives her a glare that tells her to shut up before popping one in her mouth. Sooyoung raises a brow as Jinsoul moans and chews on one closing her eyes to prolong the taste. 

“Don’t you remember how they taste?” Sooyoung does, vividly. Every time she stares at Jinsoul’s lips she remembers the bitterness. She remembers how soft and plump her lips are. She remembers how there’s no better feeling in the world than kissing Jinsoul. It didn’t matter how bitter Jinsoul’s lips tasted, from that time in the field where they were glossed in the fruit, or when they were in the classroom and they were hot with jealously, or the club when the lingering alcohol made her tongue tingle.

She’d gladly kiss Jinsoul anytime, anywhere.

Walking up closer to her, Sooyoung wraps an arm around the girl’s shoulders. “I don’t.” She lies, testing her luck as she slowly brings her gaze to Jinsoul’s own whose eyes were filled with curiosity. Smiling she tries to be as smooth as she can even though inside she was freaking out. No other girl had ever made her as nervous as Jinsoul did, but also she has never felt as comfortable with anyone other than Jinsoul. “Maybe you should remind me…you know…by.” Sooyoung doesn’t finish her sentence becoming shy.

Sooyoung remembers how many times she convinced Jinsoul to put the strawberry on her lips, just to avoid the taste but really she was trying to steal more kisses from her younger friend. She’s met with an innocent stare, soon becoming confused. Jinsoul holds a strawberry up to her lips but Sooyoung doesn’t move a muscle. That’s when it clicks in Jinsoul’s mind. “Oh…oh!” Sooyoung panics and pulls her arm where it was secured over the blonde’s neck, Jinsoul being snuggled into her side.

“Haha, I was just kidding give me one.” Jinsoul stands still as Sooyoung makes space between them. She giving Jinsoul a forced smile while holding her hand out. Eyes full of regret and fear. Jinsoul seems to notice. Sooyoung’s smile drops along with her hand when Jinsoul brings the fruit up to her lips, it already was smearing between her fingertips. Sooyoung’s eyelids drop at the moment when she watches Jinsoul’s fingertips drag across already red lips. 

Sooyoung swears she’s being teased with how slow Jinsoul does it.

She doesn’t move as Jinsoul steps forward, close enough that their bodies are touching. Sooyoung looks down into the blonde’s eyes that seemed darker _. Thank god for boots making her taller_. She can feel Jinsoul’s hot breath on her lips that are parted. Their noses bumping into each other. When did Jinsoul even get this close? Sooyoung tries to keep her eyes on Jinsoul’s but soon temptation wins and her eyes fall to where she desired. 

Jinsoul smiles, “I can’t believe you remembered that.”

“How could I ever forget?” Jinsoul gasps at her confession. Sooyoung feels herself being pulled closer when Jinsoul grasp her cut off t-shirt at her tummy. Sooyoung reacts by wrapping her arms around Jinsoul’s waist, gripping at the blonde’s lower back. Was this actually going to happen? She was almost bouncing from how giddy she was. She was about to kiss Jinsoul. They were about to-. “What about you’re fiancé?” 

Of course, her fear is still there. What if Jinsoul was in the moment and after they kissed she’d freak out on her. Sooyoung also hopes this kiss means something, not just something for fun. When Jinsoul speaks, laying her forehead against her own she knows she has nothing to worry about, “I’ve been with Kwon since I was fifteen. It didn’t stop me from kissing you in that classroom, at that stupid club and definitely not…” 

_Now_

That’s the last word she hears before she watches Jinsoul’s eyes close, making her close her own. At first, their lips barely touch. Sending Sooyoung to a level she’s never been at before. The ghost of the kiss ends way too soon. Sooyoung huffs out when Jinsoul leans away from her. They stand still for a moment trying to adjust to the drumming in their chests and the forming knots in their tummy.

Sooyoung feels light like she’s floating in the air, but she’s soon grounded by the next kiss Jinsoul gives her. There’s no hesitation with this one like there was with the first one. Sooyoung sighs through her nose when she feels the fullness of Jinsoul’s kiss, it’s long but they still don’t move their lips. But as soon as Jinsoul opens hers to smack them against her own, that’s when Sooyoung can’t resist pulling Jinsoul closer to her.

She tilts her head as their lips slowly glide against each other. She’s never been so in love with a moment. Sooyoung knows she’ll be telling her kids and even grandkids about this one. Just like her father told her about the time when he first met her mother. She’s never been so in love with something.

That something was Jinsoul.

Smiling into the kiss she deepens it. Their lips perfectly fitting together, making small noises every time they connect in the center and pull apart, only to lock right back together. Running her tongue along the bottom of Jinsoul’s lip the blonde whines making every hair on her neck stand up. Sooyoung becomes hyper-aware of everything. How Jinsoul’s grip on her shirt has become tighter, how her body is shaking in her arms. How desperate Jinsoul becomes with her returned kisses. 

Sooyoung doesn’t let it go further than that. Enjoying this lazy, sensual pace they’re going at more than anything. It slows down, even more, when they both start to run out of breath, or more on Jinsoul’s part since she didn’t know how to breathe out her nose. Sooyoung could kiss Jinsoul forever and she probably would, just like this if their lungs weren’t screaming for oxygen. Jinsoul is the first to pull away, taking a deep breath.

The girl leans forward to plant pecks on Sooyoung’s lips, not wanting the kiss to end. Sooyoung smiles as her lips keep getting smooched on. She even giggles at the funny noises. Jinsoul’s lips were amazing, becoming softer every time they kissed. Tasting of bitterness that she didn’t mind. “Mhmm, just like I remembered.” She opens her eyes to meet Jinsoul’s closed ones. Her voice was slightly airy from all the bubbling feelings in her airways. It felt like someone had clogged up her throat.

Jinsoul opens her eyes as well and Sooyoung finds herself slowly leaning back forward with how deep she was falling into the girl’s gaze. She stops herself though when Jinsoul giggles and looks down into their now conjoined hands resting on her tummy. Sooyoung gives a breathy laugh when Jinsoul looks back up, her eyes filled with warmth, something that was definitely affection. Maybe even love. She knew Jinsoul adored her. But to what level. Was it the same as her?

She didn’t really care. Especially after that kiss. She felt like the luckiest girl alive being able to kiss Jung Jinsoul like she just did. 

The blonde shakes her head, tilting it to give Sooyoung that same soft look, the one she was receiving a lot more these days. “You’re so silly.” Sooyoung can’t help the smile that breaks out on her face. She knew Jinsoul wasn’t really saying that. She was saying something much deeper than that.

But she did feel a little silly.

From how much Jinsoul was making her mind spin. 

…

Later that evening after they settled in the comfort of Jinsoul’s bed, the flat screen on her grey walls blearing brightly as Sooyoung still can’t get the butterflies in her stomach to calm down. The rest of the day Sooyoung had been extra giggly, laughing at whatever Jinsoul said even if it wasn’t funny. She can’t believe a simple kiss made her chest feel this fluffy. 

Made her feel this high and she hadn’t even been smoking.

Looking over to the left where Jinsoul was leaning against her side she smiles as the girl slowly munches on some Oreos™. Jinsoul was smart, smarter than her since she would take two Oreos™ apart and take one cookie without cream and put it between the two sides with cream. The girl called it the O-Mac™. Sooyoung wasn’t creative she just put her Oreos™ in a bowl of milk and ate them like cereal.

Turning back to the T.V she jumps at the pop-up. They were watching some b-rated horror movie, Sooyoung’s choice because she thought Jinsoul would get so scared she would curl right into her arms, but instead, the blonde was laughing her ass off. Sooyoung liked this too since Jinsoul’s laugh was just as addicting as her touch. 

Sooyoung didn’t really like scary stuff so she was getting a bit antsy. She wouldn’t call herself as pussy but-, “oh no this bitch ‘bout to get murdered.” Sooyoung keeps her eyes on the screen ignoring Jinsoul’s comment, her spoon frozen in the air. Not wanting to spill milk on the bed, since the last time she did Jinsoul screamed at her she goes to lay it over on the nightstand.

Pulling her knees to her chest she waits with wide eyes as the scene gets more dramatic and the music picks up. The main character is running through the woods, away from the grotesque killer. Sooyoung thinks it’s fine when the girl makes into a cabin and shuts the door, the music dying down as she settles next to a window. Sooyoung should be embarrassed by the scream she lets out when the killer’s arm bursts through the glass grabbing the character’s throat.

Burying her face in her knees she whimpers out as she hears fake screams and weird gushing and squishy noises, probably the character getting gutted by the killer. Sooyoung knows it’s fake, all the liquid blood and guts made from cherry jelly. But her fear isn’t fake. Jinsoul’s laugh brings her back to reality and also the girl’s groans, “Ewww gross! They didn’t have to be that extra with it.” 

She refuses to look at the screen, gore makes her squeamish and she’d rather not ruin the sweetness in her mouth. “Soo, I told you she was gonna…” Jinsoul stops mid-sentence but Sooyoung doesn’t even notice. The butterflies in her chest were replaced with spikes. She should have just watched the kung-fu movie Jinsoul wanted to watch, her plan backfired. Well almost.

“Baby are you scared?” Instantly the pressure in her body is relieved when she feels a soft hand glide over her back. She hears the T.V being shut off as the hand starts to draw circles into the fabric of the shirt she borrowed from Jinsoul. Soon enough her body is being pulled by two hands until she’s sitting like a baby in Jinsoul’s lap. The girl is softly whispering to her as if she was fragile or something. 

She liked being cared for, especially by Jinsoul. It was the only good memories she had of high school besides her sporting events. Was when Jinsoul decided to not be an ass and help her whenever she got hurt, from gym class, or a fight. The girl seemed to always make sure she wasn’t hurt physically but still, her emotions were torn apart back in those days. 

Jinsoul carefully lays them down so that Sooyoung can lay on top of her. She grips at the cotton of Jinsoul’s sweatshirt, burying her face in the crook of her neck. “Shh it’s okay, it’s not real I’m right here I got you.” Sooyoung feels a bit dumb, of course, it wasn’t real, she couldn’t help it she was a…no she wasn’t a pussy just sensitive. 

Tangling her legs up with Jinsoul’s she hums out when the girl wraps her arms around her waist underneath her shirt. One of Jinsoul’s arms is all the way around her waist, tightly holding her against the body that it belonged to. While the other one is loosely laying on top of her, Jinsoul’s thumb soothing her by massaging the flesh on the small of her back. Sooyoung finally forgets about the movie, the butterflies returning from before except this time they’re not having a party in her tummy. 

Leaning her head up she looks at Jinsoul who is staring up to the ceiling. When the girl turns her gaze towards her own she smiles making Sooyoung return it with her own. Laughing because the angle makes Jinsoul look funny she rolls off to her side, receiving a grunt of disapproval. Sooyoung lays on her side as Jinsoul shuffles to the same and soon they find themselves face to face. 

Jinsoul scoots over closer but Sooyoung backs further away, irritating the blonde. Jinsoul tries it again but Sooyoung keeps her back, “I’m not scared anymore.” 

The blonde huffs and throws a little tantrum kicking her feet on the bed, “nooo I still wanna cuddle!” Sooyoung stares hard at the girl, her eyebrows set in place. Until Jinsoul gives her that look that just is too hard to resist. 

Rolling her eyes at the beady ones, emphasized by upturn brows she scoots further to Jinsoul and lazily wraps her arms around her back. “Fine is that better?” Jinsoul nods her head and snuggles into her embrace. 

“You make me so happy you know that right? I love being with you.” Sooyoung can feel her heart bounce against her chest after the words were whispered into the now quiet room. Pulling away she gives Jinsoul a look full of doubt. But when she sees the sparkle in Jinsoul’s eyes she knows it’s nothing but the truth and that makes her heartbreak from her chest.

But Sooyoung plays it off shaking her head and pulling away from Jinsoul, “God you’re so cheesy.” She brings her hands back to her own body but Jinsoul grabs them and rests them in between their now separated bodies.

Jinsoul winks at her with a wide smile on her face, her cheeks puffed up from the happiness, “I’m being serious you mean everything to-.”

“Quit it…” Jinsoul shuts up and laughs when Sooyoung buries her face in the pillow. Jinsoul was too much, this feeling was suffocating. This was what falling in love felt like. Drowning but in the sense where you didn’t mind it. Where breathing didn’t seem necessary since it could distract you from what was in front of you. 

This is something Sooyoung had always fantasized about and for it to become reality was almost unbelievable. It still felt like a dream. 

Jinsoul waits for her to bring her red hot face from the pillow. Sooyoung was trying so hard to keep her smile in. The blonde lets go of one of her hands so she can use it to prop her head upon the pillow. Sooyoung flips on her back and brings Jinsoul’s hand that was tangled with her own to rest it on her tummy. Playing with the long fingers with her own.

Suddenly Jinsoul asks her a question, “do you think we’ll be best friends forever?” Sooyoung could answer this in many ways. One she could simply say yes, two she could say no because she could hopefully become more than just Jinsoul’s best friend. Or three she could tease her.

She chooses three, “of course until you’re swooped off your feet by some boy toy leaving me all…”Jinsoul narrows her eyes as Sooyoung dramatically sighs out, “alone.” 

The hand that was resting on her stomach smacks her hard, making her legs fly in the air and her body scrunches up. “Shut up I would never.” Jinsoul groans out to her, clearly annoyed by the statement. As if she’d ever choose someone over Sooyoung. Or at least not now, unlike she did in the past. 

“You’re doing it right now! You’re dating some boujee muthafucker, which you said you were dating since you were fifteen! You left me all alone Jinsoul.” Sooyoung gives her best pouty face, jutting her bottom lip out and fake crying by sniffling and whining. Jinsoul only shakes her head and rubs on her tummy.

Jinsoul leans over a bit to make sure she conveys the message, “Sooyoung I told you, I’m never leaving your side again, so please stop talking about him right now when I’m with you.” 

Not wanting to wrap up her act she pushes Jinsoul more, solely for her validation. She wants to hear Jinsoul dog this fiancé of hers and praise her. Maybe she’s selfish or even insecure but she can’t help that she has the most basic of human flaws. “Why? Because talking about him makes you miss him?” The look Jinsoul gives her tells her the answer.

The blonde is annoyed and Sooyoung even giggles at the dark tone of the girl’s voice, “no because I’d rather be with you god will you get it through that thick head of yours that I don’t like being with him it’s you, no else stupid.” Jinsoul rolls her eyes after she’s finished and Sooyoung only wraps up the act not wanting to question the girl anymore. 

Jinsoul lays her head down on the pillow resting on her side while Sooyoung stays on her back. Sooyoung stares up at the ceiling as Jinsoul takes in her profile. Watching how her eyelashes flutter up and down whenever she blinks. 

Sighing out she asks a more serious question, something that’s been on her mind since the night under the gazebo, “are you really going to go through with it?” She didn’t want Jinsoul to get married. But after their few talks she was starting to doubt the girl actually was. It seemed it was an act to please her parents.

Jinsoul hums as she’s thinking before she answers, “probably not, I’ll find some way out of it or just run away to some other country.” Sooyoung snorts and lets herself become relieved at the answer. 

“If you could switch the person who would you choose?” She starts to play with Jinsoul’s fingers on her tummy smiling softly when the girl doesn’t take but a second to answer.

“You, duh.” Sooyoung starts to mock Jinsoul rolling her head side to side on the pillow calling her a liar for saying such a thing. She brings her legs up that were covered only by some cotton shorts, contrasting Jinsoul’s baggy sweatpants. “I’m being for real! I’d choose you. I mean it’s like were already married without all the romance and besides,” Jinsoul makes her stop squirming around by placing a hand on her knee. Sooyoung freezes only for a moment to give Jinsoul a look full of skepticism. “I feel the safest with you, I trust you Sooyoung.”

Rolling her eyes she frowns playing it up just to tease Jinsoul, “awe that’s so um…that’s like,” Sooyoung grunts when her belly is slapped again. Her abs flexing as she curls up again and starts to laugh. Jinsoul rips her hand from her grip but Sooyoung quickly grabs it again bringing it back to her abused tummy. Sooyoung apologizes through giggles, the blonde’s unamused face spurring her on, “Sweet! It’s so sweet, but you know marriage most of the time isn’t very romantic anyway.” 

Jinsoul’s face is unchanging even after her practicality until her front finally breaks and she starts to laugh lightly with Sooyoung. “Right nothing would be different except we’d probably live together.” Sooyoung bites her lip at the thought of living with Jinsoul every day. 

Them waking up together, getting ready for their day ahead, coming back to talk and relax. She’d love to listen to Jinsoul rant because she can be adorable when mad. Her eyebrows scrunching together and her voice getting deeper, reliving the moment as she swings her hands around as her attitude sours. Sooyoung can only imagine the play fights they would have, the only problem is they’d have separate rooms but she’s sure she’d end up in Jinsoul’s every night anyways. 

They would be great roommates for several reasons. 

Or at least Sooyoung thinks so, “and then I’d murder you because you can be so annoying.” 

Sooyoung fakes offense, “Hey!” But it was true. Jinsoul didn’t mind it though. All the teasing Sooyoung liked to do, and how surprisingly clingy she was when feeling needy or wanted attention. And Sooyoung needed a lot of attention. Jinsoul, however, was more than happy to give all of hers to Sooyoung. No matter how many times the girl would pull on her ear when she was trying to concentrate or how she would interrupt her stories on purpose. Making crude jokes about every little thing. But in the end, Jinsoul loved every bit of it. 

Sooyoung is the one to pull away this time but Jinsoul keeps a hold of her hand and uses it as a microphone, “and then I’d be starring in the hit musical Chicago…” Sooyoung laughs out loud as Jinsoul starts to belt outlines. Sooyoung had always though Jinsoul was an amazing singer and she would be lying if she said she didn’t sneak around after campus hours just so she could lean up against the wall near the music room and listen to the blonde’s voice.

Jinsoul sang much different when she was alone, and most of the time it was with a lot of emotion. Not the good kinds either. But right now as she was singing the lines of the cell block tango she sang the happiest Sooyoung had ever heard, even though she was singing about murder. Jinsoul tries to attack Sooyoung by crawling on top of her but the girl grabs the blonde’s hands and pushes her up.

Sooyoung smiles, eyes crinkled and all as Jinsoul sings on top of her. Swinging their hands back and forth. When she finishes singing Jinsoul’s opens her eyes where they closed, getting lost in the number she was preforming and looks down at Sooyoung seeing her eyes curved up into half-moons. “You’re insane.” Sooyoung wheezes out and Jinsoul leans down their hands still pushing against each other. Jinsoul uses the leverage to pretend she was going to spit on Sooyoung, making the girl scream out and squeeze her eyes shut.

Jinsoul laughs at the petrified girl and crawls off her lap and Sooyoung raises up until they’re both sitting cross-legged across from each other. Sooyoung is the first to speak out since they had spent a little bit just staring at each other. “Imagine us being married…” Jinsoul raises her brows when Sooyoung tilts her head, but as soon as Jinsoul makes a small noise in the back of her throat they burst out into laughter. Sooyoung shoving Jinsoul on the shoulders as the blonde slaps her bare knee.

Wiping the tear from her eye Jinsoul starts to ramble out in a hushed tone, “our wedding would be a disaster I know your cousin Sejeong would probably end up knifing somebody probably my aunt Krystal.” Sooyoung pinches the bridge of her nose as she wheezes out, her cousin been in jail a few times and Jinsoul’s crazy celebrity aunt that had a few coke scandals would probably be at each other’s throats.

“Sulli having all her bad ass kids running around the cake would be gone before the shit would even come out the box,” Sooyoung explains, making Jinsoul laugh even harder. Her mouth coming wide open as she threw her head back. 

Jinsoul shakes her head, “you know it would be so fun though.” Sooyoung silently agrees only nodding her head. Jinsoul then scratches at the back of her ear, looking down at their touching knees. When she flicks her eyes back up Sooyoung swears theirs love swirling in them, “all we’d have to do is kiss and well.” Jinsoul’s blush is so vivid even in the dark lighting of the room. 

Leaning forward Sooyoung goes in for a kiss only to get pushed away by a panicking girl, “oh now you were so ready to kiss me today what’s wrong now?” Jinsoul sighs and gives in, not being able to look away from Sooyoung’s lips her shyness getting the better of her. Slowly Sooyoung tilts her head upwards and crawls towards Jinsoul’s own. When she’s almost there she stops and tears her gaze from Jinsoul’s parted lips, she looks up to Jinsoul’s barely opened eyes. Feeling the heavy breaths from the girl on her lips. 

She pulls away in that second. Because they’re home alone, in Jinsoul’s bed. She doesn’t know if she’d be able to play nice for some time before she couldn’t keep her hands to herself.

Instead, she says something equally as dirty as her thoughts, “you wouldn’t want to consummate our marriage?” Jinsoul is still flustered from the almost kiss, Sooyoung knows she’d be worst once she explains what she means. Because by the look on Jinsoul’s face she has not searched all the steps of marriage including the part where “you know…” Sooyoung starts to crawl over top Jinsoul the blonde on folding her legs to scoot back on the bed. 

Soon enough Sooyoung is hovering over the girl, their legs slotted together and she doesn’t dare to lay her weight on Jinsoul. Instead, she uses her knees and hands to keep her above the warm body beneath her. Slowly she drags her gaze down the girl’s body from Jinsoul’s wide and curious eyes. Down to her pouting lips begging to be nipped on, to her shivering body covered by layers of clothing. Jinsoul’s throat tensing and relaxing from all the swallowing to get rid of the tense feelings building in her body.

Jinsoul only stares in awe. Sooyoung’s gaze was almost predatory as she looks up and down. Jinsoul can’t help but feel the pressure in her tummy all the way down to her toes when Sooyoung bites down on plump lips. The girl’s eyes hooded and dark when she brings her gaze back to her own. Jinsoul blinks when Sooyoung tilts her head, making her black silky hair flowing over her shoulders, curtaining her face. It framed Sooyoung’s face perfectly, making her even more eternal. 

The blond has her hands out by her sides and stretches a pinky out to touch one of Sooyoung’s hand that is planted beside her making the nerves in her body tingle at the slightest touch. Sooyoung smiles when she feels Jinsoul’s leg wrap around her own, liking the way the girl’s facial features fade into desire the longer she stares. “fucking all night long to confirm our undying love for each other.” Once Sooyoung hears Jinsoul’s breath hitch she starts to laugh and raises back up. 

Jinsoul leans up as well but she’s not laughing instead she playfully shoves Sooyoung. The girl stops laughing as so as she gets the reply, “as if I’d ever sleep with you.” Dropping her jaw she gives Jinsoul a questionable look, she doubted that after some of the things Jinsoul did. Like tonguing her in the club and just then when she was seemingly begging to be kissed.

But Sooyoung lets it slide…for now.

It doesn’t stop her from defending herself though, “and why not?”

“Because I’m sure you’re probably bad at it basing it on how you eat chicken wings and don’t know how to play a single instrument.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes as she watches Jinsoul wiggle underneath the covers. She almost asks Jinsoul to let her prove it, right at this moment. But her nerves get the better of her.

Getting under the sheets as well she grumbles out, “whatever, rumor has it I’m the best on campus.”

“Rumor also has it that you’re a hoe.”

Sooyoung bites back the smile from Jinsoul’s jealous tone. She loved it. Seeing the girl get so worked up. “I’m not a hoe! I’m just super chill and kinda bad. Girls love that shit, I mean especially since I’m sexy so of course I get a lot of pussy.” Jinsoul loudly groans at the words and turns around, her back facing Sooyoung. 

She scoots over to Jinsoul and spoons her behind, dodging the elbows being thrown at her. How can they be talking about getting married to Sooyoung getting this kinda treatment? It’s silent for minutes and Sooyoung thinks she’s messed up until Jinsoul sighs out, “only if they knew how you are outside of that chic persona you have on campus.” 

Squeezing the girl tighter to her body resting her cheek against Jinsoul’s shoulder she murmurs back, “I know, they’d probably think I’m some loser.” Jinsoul shuffles under her and Sooyoung leans back to let the girl turn back around.

Jinsoul looks offended, “you’re not a loser, and they would be falling for you. Sooyoung you don’t realize how sweet and thoughtful you can be. You’re like a teddy bear with extra fluff when you’re not being an asshole.” Sooyoung blushes at Jinsoul’s aggressive words and the short kisses to her face.

The blonde jerks her closer after she’s done with the cheek kisses and soon Sooyoung is having the life squeezed out of her. All of Jinsoul’s limbs wrapped around her body like a koala. Sooyoung can only snake her hands back around Jinsoul’s waist and rest her cheek against the girl’s drumming chest. “I’d have to pry them off if they figured out you were affectionate and actually cared about things. But I’m not complaining because I want that side of you all to myself.”

Sooyoung starts to get all fuzzy inside as Jinsoul’s jealously shows. “Those bitches can have the cool Ha Sooyoung, I want my soft and cuddly bunny.” Normally this would be red flags but Sooyoung can only think about how much it turns her on and not in a sexual way. But in the way where she wants to run to the nearest chapel and just seal the deal already. She’s never let a girl this close to her, Jinsoul was her number one babe. The only girl who could call her a sickening sweet name like bunny. “Of course though, it really is annoying to see you put that flirty act when you’re with girls.”

Groaning she ignores Jinsoul’s last statement. She wasn’t the one to be talking when she gives everyone on campus the time of the day. “And it’s annoying to see you being such a princess on campus.”

“Excuse me.” The blonde huffs out.

Sooyoung has her eyes closed her brows scrunching together and slowly lets her attitude come out as she rants, “Oh don’t pretend you don’t have the whole _awe I’m so cute innocent and perfect_ performance at school when you’re around people. You’re the princess of campus like you have no personality except being pretty and nice.” 

She hated seeing Jinsoul on campus like that. Everyone was in love with her, it made her sick seeing so many people try to get with her and the blonde being so polite with them. Everyone swooning at her smile and becoming lovesick realizing how shy Jinsoul was. But Sooyoung couldn’t blame them, because she was the exact same. Except she knew Jinsoul more than that, not just on a surface level. Of course, Jinsoul was pretty and nice, but that was only what Jinsoul showed. 

She’s told Jinsoul this before, but the last time she did she was much angrier.

“Whatever.”

Sooyoung takes a deep breath and starts to explain herself, “I'm not saying that’s a bad thing, it’s just I know that you’re more than that and I wish you would show more people. You’re so smart Jinsoul and I’ve never met anyone as truly unique as you are and you never let that side shine. So many people try and take advantage of that. Like you’re friends when they’ve never taken the time to learn about you because you’ve always been so quiet and passive.” She finishes with a sigh. Jinsoul never was nice to her back then, she was one of the only people that knew her true colors.

Jinsoul’s heart is beating slowly against her cheek and the girl dreamily whispers out, “And you’re so much more than just some playgirl who’s good at sports.”

“Hmm I don’t know, it’s kinda a wrap for me at this point.”

But Jinsoul disagrees, “Don’t say that…you’re amazing Sooyoung, someday somebodies going to see that. For now, it’s just me and it’s my job to remind you that every day, that you’re the most amazing person.

Shaking her head she finally relaxes in Jinsoul’s arms, “You only think that because I’m your best friend.”

“No, I’m your best friend because of that,” Jinsoul replies and that’s the end of their conversation, and they lay quietly enjoying each other’s touch and warmth. Sooyoung doesn’t know who drifts off first but she was sure it was herself. Since the comfort of being in Jinsoul’s arms was unmatchable. 

They would be friends forever, right?

Or maybe even more.

At least that’s what Sooyoung dreams of that night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This chapter sponsored by Oreos and my dick...and my favorite author.


	15. Sailor Loona Extravaganza

Scrunching her eyes closed she tries to pull away from the makeup brush, only to get scolded. “Stay still or I’m going to mess up!” Sooyoung opens one eye up to glare at Jinsoul. The girl wavers the brush around her cheeks again but Sooyoung smacks it away, earning a very disapproving groan from the blonde. It’s not that she didn’t like makeup, she only liked it when she was doing it herself but Jinsoul had insisted.

There were a total of seven girls in the room, all getting for the same event. The comic-con they were all going to. Or as Sooyoung liked to call it, the nerd-fest. Jinsoul had some weird outfit on with her hair done up into two little buns, keeping two large strands out to flow over her shoulders. Sooyoung grimaced as Jinsoul held up clip-on bangs.

Scooting back once again she shakes her head, “If you get any closer to me with those party city ass bangs I will pop you in the mouth.” Jinsoul frowns and it’s awfully cute, but not cute enough for Sooyoung to change her mind. Jinsoul tries again but Sooyoung smacks the clip-on out of her hands, making it land on the ground. 

“But Sooyoung Rei has bangs!” Crossing her arms she stands her ground, she doesn’t even know who that is. Jinsoul said she was gonna be dressing up as a cute girl, not some idiot in a sailor uniform. But here she was in a red skirt and a bowtie. At least the red pumps were cute. She refused to put on bangs though, she drawled the line at bangs…

Jinsoul proceeds to pout getting attention from the rest of the room. Sooyoung’s resistance starts to crumble the longer the girl whines and rubs at her eyes like she was about to cry. Jinsoul’s voice cracks and Sooyoung loses it at the stray tear that crawls down the girl’s puffed up cheeks, “you’re so mean Sooyoung!” Feeling her heartbreak at the site she makes her decision.

Rolling her eyes she curses at herself for being so weak. “Fine, I’ll put on the bangs.” Jinsoul smiles and hops up and down before picking the clip on back up. 

Chaewon pauses doing her makeup to comment, “wow you’re really in character Soulie.” Sooyoung glances between the sisters not knowing what the remark meant. Jinsoul only giggles and leans forward to adjust the bangs to Sooyoung’s hair and fluffs them across her forehead. She’s is already over it when Jinsoul squeals out. Stomping towards the mirror she deflates at her appearance. Turning back around she’s met with more accessories. Red star earrings and a tiara with a red jewel. 

Not wanting to argue Sooyoung submits and puts them on, with Jinsoul’s help of course. Sooyoung gives Jinsoul a forced smile holding out her arms, twirling to show off the full look. Jinsoul holds her mouth open as she takes in Sooyoung in costume, it was perfect. Sooyoung expects another squeal but instead the blonde jumps on her and suddenly she’s holding Jinsoul up as the girl screams and kicks her feet in the air. Sooyoung just wraps her arms tightly Jinsoul’s waist and lifts her up further. “God, you’re so cute!” She winces at the loud squeal right next to her ear.

Sooyoung gets embarrassed, so much that she wants to ditch the whole trip. Trying to put Jinsoul back down on her feet the girl whines and hops until Sooyoung picks her back up to continue hugging her. Jinsoul finally gets the urges out, or almost. Sooyoung huffs as she slowly sits the girl down only to tense back up when her cheeks are squeezed by soft hands.

Pushing Jinsoul’s hands off her she asks, “who am I again?” 

Jinsoul skips over to the vanity where Chaewon is now putting makeup on her sister Hyejoo, “you’re a guardian who fights for love and passion, you’re sailor mars!” Sooyoung raises her brow as the words go in one ear and out the other the blonde wobbling over towards the bed where Yerim was laid out. “You have super cool psychic and fire powers.” Nodding her head she starts to kinda get it, maybe she was like a fire bender or something. 

“Fire powers?” She questions with a bit of sarcasm to her voice.

Chaewon is the one to speak up this time, “more like fire attacks right soul?” Sooyoung isn’t amused as the two blondes play around with each other. 

Sooyoung watches as one of them brings her fingers together like a gun and yells out _fire soul_ , even spins for dramatic effect. Jinsoul makes a large circle with her finger and speaks with a sense of justice. Sooyoung almost thinks it’s cool until Jinsoul says something dumb…was it burning mandarin…what it have to do with an orange? She didn’t really care but it was interesting to watch the two geek out.

Jinsoul turns to her with a bright expression, “you say this one thing too before you get the bad guy!” Sooyoung tries to keep her laugh in as Jinsoul poses dramatically and uses a deep stern voice, “in the name of Mars, I’ll chastise you!” She can’t keep it in when she hears the word _chastise_ and ends up laughing making Jinsoul frown. Sooyoung waves her off trying to not make her feel bad about herself but it was too funny. 

Hunching over she puts a hand on her knee and waves the other one out, “ah, it’s not…um, I’m not making fun of you.” Jinsoul crosses her arms at the laughing girl not appreciating Sooyoung not taking her seriously. Sooyoung feels bad enough so she raises and makes her way over to Jinsoul. Trying to keep a straight face she repeats the words back, “In the name of mars…I-I’ll chas…” Sooyoung bursts out into laughter again receiving a glare from Jinsoul and everyone in the room.

Yerim mumbles from where her face is half-buried into the pillow, “ignore her Jindori she’s a jerk.” Sooyoung is wiping the tear from her eyes when Jinsoul pushes past her, knocking hard into her shoulder. Sooyoung ignores it now, knowing that it’d be best to let it settle before she apologizes. Watching Jinsoul walk out the room and slam the door shut she sighs deeply and sits next to her sister who’s dressed up as a Hogwarts student. A huffle-puff to be exact. 

Chaewon and Hyejoo were dressed up as Isabelle and tom nook from animal crossing, a game her sister didn’t necessarily like but Sooyoung assumed it was because Hyejoo had a bit of a thing for Chaewon. But the older blonde treated Hyejoo like a baby sister, while the younger girl had some kinda puppy crush on her friend. 

Hyunjin and Heejin were in the closet for some reason…probably being weird again. Sooyoung had made a lot of fun of her sister’s costume. Definitely, her girlfriends doing. Heejin was in orange, dressed as Naruto and Hyunjin were dressed up as her right-hand man, Sasuke. Sooyoung had gotten all her urges out by roasting the two girls before Hyunjin got tired of it and kicked her in the leg.

She was going to enjoy herself today, making fun of all the nerds. Her mood was slightly ruined by the fact that she had to dress up as well. But it was for Jinsoul so it wasn’t that bad. “You think it’ll be crowded?” She asks no one in particular. Yerim ignores the question and props her legs on Sooyoung’s lap. Chaewon paints the dark circles around Hyejoo’s eyes and smiles before turning to face her.

“Are you kidding? It’s going to be terrible…” The smaller blonde drones out and goes back to dabbing around Hyejoo’s face.

Her younger sister adds onto it, “you’d be surprised, at how many different events are there. It’s not just one thing like it’s all of the pop culture or whatever.”

“So all of that nerd shit.” Hyejoo glares at her reply before getting scolded by Chaewon for moving around. Hyejoo was probably the biggest geek out the all of them. Sooyoung was totally the coolest sister. Yerim still liked to color and all Hyejoo did was play video games and bother her. Hyunjin loved to watch cartoons. Sooyoung was the…coolest. Even though she loved to watch Hyejoo play her games, being her biggest fan. She’d always join Yerim when she was coloring, making it a competition. She and Hyunjin had a schedule to watch the newest Adventure time episodes and often argued about what was the greatest animated show of their time. She _was_ the coolest sister.

Helping Yerim to adjust her scarf she smiles at the girl’s giggle when Sooyoung pulls particularly tight. She stands up when she’s done and makes her way over to Hyejoo. Chaewon glares at her, seemingly knowing her intentions but not quick enough to stop her thumb that goes to smudge Hyejoo’s makeup. Sooyoung doesn’t regret it at all when her younger sister, who has grown taller than her smacks her upside the head. Sooyoung returns the smack of course right on Hyejoo’s neck before Chaewon ends the mini fight. 

The blonde tries to finish Hyejoo’s makeup but somehow Sooyoung had conjured her baby sister in a risky plan. Now they were standing outside the closet door lightly tapping it. Heejin comes out first, a curious look in her eyes. She glances at them but Sooyoung waves her off. When Hyunjin steps out they take action. While Sooyoung slaps the back of her head Hyejoo manages to get Hyunjin’s forehead. Sooyoung does regret this one after she’s been choke slammed and now yelling for Hyejoo’s life who’s pinned down to the floor.

Chaewon and Yerim are trying to break the fight up and it’s Heejin’s soothing voice that finally douses the wrath of her sister. Hyunjin glares at her before darkly mumbling out, “if y’all ever touch me again I’ll kill you with my bare hands.” Sooyoung gulps as Hyejoo laughs her ass off, never having a fearful bone in her body. Sooyoung being a pussy, however, the comment makes her nerves freeze.

But it doesn’t mean she isn’t a dumbass, “what were you all doing in that closet anyway?” Sooyoung makes a kissy face. A gross one at that. 

Hyejoo joins in and makes kissy noises as well mocking Heejin in the process, “oh Hyunjin you’re so kawaii…” 

Laughing at her sister Sooyoung makes her voice like Hyunjin’s and mocks her, “Heejin, my love. You’re the icing to my cinnamon roll.” Hyejoo covers her mouth while pushing on her shoulder. Sooyoung ignores the daggers being thrown at her by Yerim who hated when they fought. 

Heejin blushes and Hyunjin is unfazed, Sooyoung thinks she’s won until her sister opens her mouth again. “Doing what you wish you could do with Jinsoul.” Hyunjin turns and leaves Sooyoung to melt into a puddle of humiliation her jaw dropped to the floor. Heejin giggles uneasily and corrects her girlfriend. 

“We were just talking…not making out, yeah um, not what you think or whatever. We weren’t-.” Chaewon’s laughing, hard and it makes Sooyoung’s embarrassment flare up even more. Thank god Jinsoul wasn’t in the room. 

Chaewon laughs at a bit more before defending Heejin, sarcastically, “don’t worry we know you guys weren’t making out, why on earth would you guys do that?” Heejin blushes more and excuses herself out of the room. Sooyoung composes herself while Chaewon beckons Hyejoo back to the chair so she can finish what she started. Sooyoung apologizes to Yerim, the girl being the most mature out of all of them and then makes her way out of the room to leave the twins some peace.

Walking down the stairs she mentally prepares herself for her apology to Jinsoul. Her sister mentioning the girl had her thinking in overdrive about the blonde. Yeah, maybe she daydreams about making out with Jinsoul…just a little bit. The girl’s pouty lips were irresistible, so soft and sweet. A little bit was an understatement though, Sooyoung dreamed about putting her lips on Jinsoul’s very often…too often.

There were other things Sooyoung daydreamed about, especially at volleyball practice. When Jinsoul had barely nothing on, her toned body tensing and stretching. The strain on Jinsoul’s muscles making the girl sweat and breathe hard. To the point it had Sooyoung sweating and breathing hard late into the night when she replayed the memories of Jinsoul diving after a ball and taking her sweet time to get back up in very…Sooyoung could say it was pleasing, the way Jinsoul moved around. 

She thanked God for her sister having a girlfriend leaving the room to herself so she could get her not so friendly urges out. 

Sooyoung knows it’s not normal to fantasize about her best friend like this. But it was hard not to when that same best friend started to pull her shorts up to a not so appropriate length. When she would chug water letting half of it spill down her barely covered chest. Making Sooyoung thirsty for something else. Yeah, she thought about Jinsoul a lot. Most of the time it was just…her though. 

Jinsoul’s smile, her voice, the way she smelled. Sooyoung would miss her even though she had seen her just an hour ago. That’s when she knew she was getting deep. When she was used to just thinking about fucking girls. Not about what they ate or if they’re okay. If they had a good day and if they’re lying in bed all comfy in oversized clothes. What it would be like to be with them, what it would be like if Sooyoung was Jinsoul’s.

“Sooyoung?” She breaks out of her daydream of being Jinsoul’s girlfriend, how perfect they would be together. Glancing at the topic of her dreams she smiles, “what were you thinking about?” Sooyoung must have been in her head since she was now in the kitchen in front of Jinsoul who was chewing on the grapes she was popping in her mouth. 

She could answer honestly, _oh just how I wanna wife you up_. But she lies, “Um…just thinking how am I going to survive today.” Jinsoul scoffs and turns around to look out the window above the sink. Her posture slumped, reflecting her mood. Sooyoung knows she should apologize since her pessimism was starting to get to Jinsoul. She didn’t want to bring the girl down, just make her puff up a bit since it was so amusing. 

Coming up behind the girl she leans onto the girl, pushing her cheek into her shoulder. Jinsoul tries to push the limp body of hers but Sooyoung is heavy and relentless. “I’m sorry okay? You know I’m just joking around, I’m really excited about today.” Sooyoung mumbles out while bringing her hands up to tickle at Jinsoul’s sides, making the girl finally break out into a smile.

Finally, Sooyoung is faced with the girl again, her mouth full of grapes. “If you’re sorry then you’ll let me take your pictures.” The girl frowns at the request but she knows she’ll have to suck up the rest of the day or Jinsoul will eventually seriously get annoyed with her. Groaning she lets Jinsoul push her towards a bare wall and adjust her into a pose. 

The blonde is making weird noises as she goes for her new camera, messing around with it before holding it up in the direction of Sooyoung. At first, Jinsoul brings the camera down and raises a brow. Sooyoung is standing hunched up with a bored look on her face, “can you smile at least?” Sooyoung remains slumped and gives a forced smile. Jinsoul takes the picture anyway and then begs Sooyoung to pose seriously.

Sooyoung makes finger gestures while giving her spotlight smile, the one that usually won hearts over. Lifting one leg out and she presses two fingerers in her cheeks and winks. That one seems to drive Jinsoul crazy since the girl squeals as she clicks the button. The blonde peaks over and makes a request Sooyoung can’t refuse, “can you do your pouty face?” 

Nodding her head she crosses her arms and makes her eyebrows scrunch in the middle. Jinsoul’s feet start to pitter-patter on the floor when she blows her cheeks up. Sooyoung lets a few pics before letting up, genuinely smiling when Jinsoul looks up from the camera. Jinsoul has an expression Sooyoung hasn’t seen before, “you’re so beautiful Sooyoung.” Her smile drops as the girl dumbly states the compliment out. 

She doesn’t know what it is, there have been girls knuckle deep in her, even girl’s confessing their love for her. She’s been called, stunning, sexy, gorgeous, and sometimes perfect. But none of those words came close to making her feel as good as those words coming from Jinsoul’s mouth. It was sincere, much like the rest of them, but for some reason, the expression on Jinsoul’s face made it so much more. And the pull she felt from the other girl. 

Maybe it was because she was in love with Jinsoul too.

Jinsoul asks her if she can smile like that again and of course, she does. Because she was happy, and that’s what kinda smile she had on her face, was from the happiness bubbling inside of her. She even lets her teeth show after a few photos, something she rarely did. She was a bit self-conscious of her teeth but Jinsoul made her actually like them after a while, “awe my bunny so cute!” She can’t help but giggle making her smile wider than intended but who can blame her. 

Soon the girl is finished taking what seems like a hundred pictures and makes her way over. Sooyoung leans up against the wall her smile turning into a shy one. Jinsoul stalks up to her and brings her hands up to her face. Cradling her jaw in the palm of her hands. Sooyoung leans into the touch, finding herself getting lost in Jinsoul’s eyes.

“You really are so beautiful.” Jinsoul quietly mutters out, Sooyoung had barely heard it over her beating heart. 

Sooyoung wishes the moment could last forever before a herd of loud girls come busting down the stairs, pulling them apart almost painfully. She didn’t want to let go but her sisters clinging onto her left her no choice. Jinsoul only shakes her head and backs away, giving Sooyoung a sweet smile before going off to pack the rest of their things. Hyejoo narrows her eyes and inhales, “ew you smell.” Sooyoung goes to smack the girl but Yerim grips her left arm. 

Looking over to the younger girl she pleads for the freedom of her hand so she can rightfully lay it across the back of Hyejoo’s head. But Yerim only gives her the disapproval. “Come on Sooyoung you smell fine she’s just messing with you.” They all then began to gather outside with various backpacks, ready for a long day of waiting in lines and walking around. 

Sooyoung goes towards the front where she can sit next to Jinsoul who was driving but Yerim screams next to her and runs to beat her to it. She feels the blood boiling underneath her skin as she climbs in the back with Hyunjin and Heejin. At least she didn’t have to ride with Hyejoo since she was on the back of Chaewon’s moped, strapping a helmet to her head. Sooyoung plants her forehead to the window of Jinsoul’s jeep as she watches the obnoxious pair putter off into the distance. 

“Seatbelts please.” Sooyoung ignores Jinsoul’s voice, her mood souring by the minute. She had bought the tickets…or at least half of them but she was starting to regret getting herself one. “Sooyoung seatbelt...” She groans and closes her eyes.

Her attitude gets the better of her and she talks to Jinsoul the way she would one of her sisters or Chaewon, “eat my dick.” Gasps fill the car, especially from Heejin since the girl was a drama queen. Sooyoung instantly regrets her words when she timidly glances at the front towards Jinsoul. The blonde’s eyes are burning holes through her. Shrinking at the angry glare she curls up into a ball in the back seat. 

Jinsoul’s voice is steady, but it still strikes fear in Sooyoung’s body with how deep it is. “Put your seatbelt on Sooyoung.” There’s a bit of a husk to it and if Sooyoung wasn’t so scared she could say it turned her on. However, the stare she was receiving was dousing any arousal that bubbled up.

But she can’t seem to swallow her pride, “make me.” Yerim creates a bit of divide in the tension when she dumbly hollers at Sooyoung’s reply. Watching closely as Jinsoul’s jaw clenches and the muscles on her neck tense up she grips the door handle prepared to make a run for it. Suddenly the blonde surges forward causing Sooyoung to flinch up and scream. Her fear resides when Jinsoul is simply buckling her up herself. 

“If I knew you were going to be like this I would have left your ass at the house.” Sooyoung giggles at Jinsoul’s tone, she sounded like a mom. The blonde is focused on the task but as soon as her eyes dart up to Sooyoung’s the older girl gasps. Jinsoul’s eyes were dark and kinda menacing like she was thinking about something…not so nice. Sooyoung knew there was something wrong with her when she found it cute. 

Jinsoul leans back and points at Heejin, “Jeon buckle the fuck up.” The tiny girl squeaks distracted by the events in the car to remember to put her seatbelt on. But unlike Sooyoung, she obeys rather quickly scared by the harshness in Jinsoul’s voice.

The ride is a bit awkward, Hyunjin and Heejin giggling to each other as Yerim blabbered to mostly herself. Sooyoung kept glancing towards Jinsoul, not noticing how the girl was doing the same but in the reflection of the review mirror. Yerim would receive a few replies from Jinsoul but it was just nods and short hums for a response. Soon enough they’re pulling into a mess of traffic. 

Thankfully after a long wait, they’re getting out of the jeep and into hot weather. Chaewon already texting a meeting location since she and Hyejoo were inside. Sooyoung waits behind, well she waits for Jinsoul since the girl was typing furiously on her phone at something. She didn’t even want to know what it was when the blonde cursed under her breath. Jinsoul jumps a bit when she turns to Sooyoung standing right behind her. Sooyoung doesn’t move when the girl snaps at her, “what?” 

Twisting her foot in the pavement she bows her head and puts her arms behind her back, and with the sweetest voice she can manage she apologizes, “I’m sorry Jinsoul.” Sooyoung pouts like she did early and celebrates inside her head when she watches the blush spread over Jinsoul’s cheeks.

“Whatever, you’re still a bitch.” Sooyoung pouts even more if Hyejoo or Hyunjin seen her now she’d never be able to live this down. Jinsoul puckers her lips and then sighs, Sooyoung watches a finger come up in her line of sight and tap down on her chest, “a very…cute bitch.” Sooyoung smiles as Jinsoul pushes past her. Rolling her eyes she starts to follow the girl with a hop to her step. Her party city bangs flipping in the wind. Jinsoul side-eyes her and reprimands her, “don’t think this is forgiveness you have to be on your best behavior today before I even think about it.” 

Sooyoung wraps her arm around Jinsoul’s and falls into a rhythm of steps with the girl, “and what would you consider my best behavior?” 

Jinsoul hums and taps on her chin with her free hand. “Let’s see…” It’s basically a set of rules and Jinsoul emphasizes them by raising finger for each one of them, “no fighting, physically and verbally. So no-bullying any harmless innocent people.” 

“Not even you?” Sooyoung tilts her head.

Jinsoul glares at her, “no not even me…also, you can’t act like you’re miserable. I know you secretly enjoy this stuff too.” It was somewhat true. “And you have to come to at least one thing I go to.” 

Sooyoung clicks her tongue and grimaces at the crowd ahead of them, “let me guess you wanna go to the mecha thing.” 

“You know me so well,” Jinsoul mumbles out and Sooyoung smiles and stops their momentum.

The blonde raises only one side of her lips not amused, “I’ll be a good girl for you Jinsoul.” The smirk Jinsoul’s giving her drops at her provocative tone and Sooyoung brings her voice down even lower. She feels Jinsoul shake in her arms when she uses her special pillow talk voice, something she only really used on girls she wanted to seduce but right now she didn’t have intentions of seducing Jinsoul, only to tease her. Maybe she talked even smoother than she usually did, “would you like that? If I was a good girl just for you?” 

Jinsoul stares at Sooyoung’s lips and the older girl can’t help to bite down on them from all the attention they’re receiving. The blonde’s throat goes dry at the site and can mentally picture herself replacing the bunny teeth with her own. She imagines Sooyoung would become whiny at a bit of pain and she’s dying to test out the theory. Especially after hearing the sensual voice turning innocent words into something much more. 

Sooyoung pays close attention to how Jinsoul’s mouth slowly closes to swallow the built-up tension, it makes her own water. Chewing on her bottom lip she lets small noise escape from her throat, surprising the both of them. But Jinsoul doesn’t react, only with the darkening of her eyes. Sooyoung’s seen this look before, not very often. And at first, she couldn’t really figure out what it meant but using the context clues her best guess was that Jinsoul was a bit turned on.

_Just like she was._

It was a building sensation, and if she didn’t break her stare down with Jinsoul she was sure the both of them would end up without a skirt. Just as it was starting to get fun someone bumps into and breaks Jinsoul out of her trance. Sooyoung is still well aware of the burning in her tummy so she keeps her eyes on the angled jawline and how it trembles as Jinsoul looks around as if she was afraid of being caught so vulnerable. 

Eyes meet hers again, ones swirling with arousal just a second ago now are clouded with a shyness that Sooyoung can’t help but find adorable. She felt crazy, how one second Jinsoul had her wanting to do the nastiest things imaginable into this sweet gooey mess, where she felt like she ate too much sugar. Jinsoul sighs out and it’s shaky, it’s a pleasure to Sooyoung that she has this much of an effect on Jinsoul. It’s rewarding unlike the countless of girls falling at her feet. 

Being dragged by the hand Sooyoung thinks how she would willingly let Jinsoul guide her anywhere. It didn’t matter how many people were waiting in line for her behind, as long as Jinsoul was in front of her the goofy smile plastered on her face would be present. The way Jinsoul made her feel was incomparable to anyone…or really almost anything else.

“We’re going to be late now…” Sooyoung only laughs and ignores the thousands of people that were far more interesting than the blonde in a sailor uniform. But to Sooyoung, they became a blur, because her shining star was right in front of her. 

…

Some man was blabbering on about the branching genres on mecha or something Sooyoung didn’t understand. This had been their third panel and the most boring. Sooyoung let herself listen to the first one but then soon realized they were all saying the same thing over and over again. Just emphasizing one part or another that Sooyoung could care less about or pay attention to.

But what she did pay attention to was the girl beside her, who seemed to be in awe with every second of basically a podcast with live audiences. All-day she had followed Jinsoul around without a complaint out her mouth, since well she was pretty busy being smitten by Jinsoul. The blonde was being too cute for Sooyoung’s liking and she found herself practically swooning after some time

It was like one of these hundreds of animators had drawn a cupid to shoot an arrow of love through her chest and now hearts were bubbling around her head. Sooyoung had stumbled around with the help of the blonde’s hand for guidance. Sooyoung couldn’t keep her eyes off Jinsoul, it felt ridiculous to be in love but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sooyoung leans back into her not so comfy chair as she traces the outline of Jinsoul’s jawline for the hundredth time. Tilting her head she likes the angle it provides for Jinsoul’s profile, “God you’re so perfect it’s annoying.” Her words turn into a groan as she eyes how cute Jinsoul’s nose looks from the side. Along with her other features…all of them. The girl only turns her face for a spilt second to stick her tongue out, driving Sooyoung nuts. 

“I don’t what you’re talking about.” Jinsoul plainly states out, lifting her head and chin up a bit to scan over the crowd in front of them. Right now it was a Q & A session so they were silently chatting with each other but Sooyoung was soon distracted by the muscles on Jinsoul’s neck. Sooyoung found the girl incredibly attractive even more so now. It used to be an obsession, Jinsoul being so appetizing because she seemed unattainable. But now it was full-blown desire because that same love Sooyoung had years ago began to burn again. Something the resentment was dousing, something that Jinsoul had magically made disappear.

Wiggling her hand from her lap into Jinsoul’s her palm meets the smooth skin of the girl’s thigh, “I’m talking about how pretty you are…like damn.” Jinsoul blushes and Sooyoung begins to massage the flesh underneath her hand. The skin was hot there and it felt like she was going to get burnt. But it was so soft that Sooyoung was getting carried away with how hard she was groping Jinsoul’s thigh and even moving north to where the girl squirmed in her seat. 

Her hand is removed when she pinches the inside of Jinsoul’s thigh the girl giving her a questioning look. Instead, she moves her neglected hand to wrap around Jinsoul’s shoulders pulling the girl into her side. “Will you shut up? That’s like the fifth time you’ve said that…” Sooyoung smirks seeing through Jinsoul’s bluff. The girl was obviously enjoying all the compliments the way her lips upturned into a shy smile and her ears burned red. 

Leaning over she crossing her legs and places her lips on Jinsoul’s ear earning a small squeak from the girl. Jinsoul giggles as she leans closer again whispering in the girl’s ear, “I know you like it, with that big ego of yours.” Jinsoul rolls her eyes, there was nothing more that annoyed her than someone calling her an egoist. But still, it was true, she was getting high off of all the praise Sooyoung was giving her.

Sooyoung turns her head ghosting her lips on the outer shell of Jinsoul’s ear, “it’s okay I love a big ego.” Jinsoul sucks on her tongue making a short _tsk_ sound as Sooyoung laughs. Her breathing becoming abnormal the longer Sooyoung’s thick lips hover around, she even shudders when the girl’s lips come in contact. Sooyoung notices it and the short gasp that escapes Jinsoul’s mouth and decides to explore it a little more, “are you sensitive here?”

Jinsoul bits down on her lip as Sooyoung talks right against her ear to prevent any noise to come out from the pleasure shooting through her body. She even feels her toes curl at the sensation of the vibrations of Sooyoung’s raspy voice against the shell of her ear. The sensual tone making her shiver and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up when Sooyoung had asked the question. It felt like every nerve in her body was tingling.

Eyeing the blonde’s legs squeezing together she tries to not imagine Jinsoul getting wet from this. She knows how sensitive she is there and how it does something crazy to your insides if someone messes around with those special areas. When a dull ache starts to form in her stomach Jinsoul suddenly stands up and starts to walk down the aisle. Sooyoung wasn’t about to stay and listen to the twenty-fifth question on mecha symbolization or whatever.

Eyeing the skirt swaying back and forth Sooyoung catches up to Jinsoul and grabs her on the elbow. The girl turns around and Sooyoung’s brows raise involuntarily when she sees how flushed Jinsoul’s face is. “It was really hot in there…super hot.” Sooyoung nods her head while biting back a smile and goes back to admiring Jinsoul’s face forgetting about her urges since the blonde seemed a little overwhelmed.

Soon enough they’re walking around again and Jinsoul’s chatting about how good the panels were. Sooyoung loved the way the girl would hop in her seat or shake her fists every time the speaker said something interesting. Sooyoung found it endearing when Jinsoul’s eyes would widen and she’d let out a short laugh that made it seem like Jinsoul didn’t believe what she had just heard. There were a lot of things Sooyoung had forgotten about Jinsoul, but it was fun learning about them all over again.

“Oh my god, you guys are so cute!” Sooyoung turns to the direction of the voice and it’s a stranger. The girl is with a guy and they’re smiling at Jinsoul and her. “Sailor Moon and Mars right?” Jinsoul takes over and answers the girl with an excited _yes_. Sooyoung picks at her nails but nonchalantly listens to their convo. It’s mostly stuff she doesn’t understand, but the changing pitch in Jinsoul’s voice lets her know that it must be important. 

And that’s all that matters. Sooyoung twists her heel in the ground as she watches Jinsoul talk to the pair animatedly. The girl suddenly asks a question that makes Sooyoung’s heart and dignity drop, “can I get a picture of you guys?” Jinsoul of course agrees and grabs onto her tightly before she can escape. Sooyoung groans underneath her breath as Jinsoul repeats that she has to be nice today. Sooyoung shakes her head and gives a fake smile.

Jinsoul does various amounts of poses while Sooyoung stands slumped over. The girl seems a bit weirded out by the contradicting energies from the two and quickly says her goodbyes before scurrying off. Sooyoung rolls her neck before mumbling out, “thank god…she was so annoying.” Hearing a scoff beside her she snaps her head in the direction of the sound. Jinsoul is standing defensively with her arms crossed giving Sooyoung the worst look imaginable, “what?” 

She shouldn’t have asked because Jinsoul blows up on her, “really? You couldn’t have given a little more effort?” 

Sooyoung shrugs her shoulders looking around to see if they’re causing a scene, “sorry I guess I wasn’t feeling it.” She panics when Jinsoul turns around and starts to storm off, so of course, Sooyoung follows after her. 

She’s calling after Jinsoul, quietly as possible as she jogs behind her. Thankfully the girl turns back around but Sooyoung isn’t so sure if it was better than Jinsoul walking around from her, “yeah I can tell, Sooyoung you’ve been like this all day the only time you even looked remotely happy is when,” 

“-When I was looking at you, yeah duh because I love you.” Jinsoul stops talking when she confesses and Sooyoung thinks she’s gone too far when she watches the girl go through a fit of confusion. Her brows locking together and nose scrunching up as if the gears in her brain exploded. 

Jinsoul shakes out of the stump and it’s a relief to Sooyoung, well until she starts to get scolding again. “Well jeez, Sooyoung I love yo- no! You’re trying to charm your way out of this one but no!” Sooyoung steps closer to Jinsoul seeing that the girl is beginning to lose the determination she had before. “If you’re so miserable I can take you home.” 

Sooyoung pulls the girl forward when since she started to walk away, “I’m not miserable it’s just I don’t know anything about this stuff Jinsoul.”

“It’s not like you’re trying to learn either.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and doesn’t notice familiar faces gathering around them. Jinsoul was being ridiculous. If she wasn’t interested then she wasn’t going to try and get into something she didn’t at least find a little bit cool. She wasn’t going to pretend to like something just for Jinsoul’s sake. Was she in the wrong for that?

But even if felt that way on the inside she wasn’t going to let Jinsoul know, “of course I have!” 

Jinsoul raises a brow, “like what?”

Sooyoung pauses and tries to remember at least one thing from the panels they went to today, but nothing comes up so she buries her grave right there, “um that mechas are like giant robots.” Jinsoul narrows her eyes at Sooyoung and shakes her head. This time she doesn’t even try to stop Jinsoul as she walks off. That’s when she notices the girls snickering beside her.

Turning around to Chaewon, Hyejoo, and Yerim she shrugs, “I can’t win.”

Chaewon has countless bags, probably all collectibles that she can add to her obnoxious room, “it’s not like you’re trying to.” Sooyoung groans and her temper starts to rise. Of course, Chaewon was taking Jinsoul’s side. Leaning her head back she sighs out her nose, trying to ignore her sister’s annoying laugh. “You really don’t know shit do you…” 

Closing her eyes she listens to Chaewon speak, “Jinsoul likes you, a lot Sooyoung so of course she’s gonna be upset if you find everything that she finds cool lame…which is what you’re doing right now.” Sooyoung slowly tilts her head back forward coming to realization. “What if Jinsoul found dancing lame, how would you feel?”

Sooyoung nods her head, “like shit.” Chaewon moves her hands around, clearly satisfied that she proved her point. Sooyoung stands there a moment, thinking about her decisions before darting off in Jinsoul’s direction. It’s hard since she’s in heels and has a ten pound backpack strapped to her but soon enough she gets an idea where Jinsoul could be.

Stopping a guy in a spiderman costume she breathlessly asks him, “where’s the Gundam booth.” The hulk appears behind him and the guy takes off his masks.

“It’s down in that direction.” Sooyoung thanks him and walks in that direction bumping into anyone that gets in her way. Seeing the sign she sighs out in relief. Now she can only pray that Jinsoul is there. Frantically looking around the rather large stall she doesn’t notice blonde hair anywhere. Scanning the area she spots the familiar blonde shade and the sailor outfit. 

Her heart blows up at the sight of her but deflates when she sees that Jinsoul doesn’t look the happiest. Slowly approaching the girl she sits down next to her on the red dice cube acting as a seat. Jinsoul doesn’t even move, her face still buried in her hands. Sooyoung goes to pat Jinsoul on the back but she’s pushed off. “Go away Sooyoung…” Jinsoul had seen the girl beforehand and quickly hid her face away since she had been crying.

Not over Sooyoung of course, she was used to the girl being an ass. Sooyoung had a bored look on her face the whole day and it didn’t bother Jinsoul at all. The only thing that pissed her off was how obvious the girl was, but her staring had also been noticeable. So that’s why Jinsoul didn’t say anything until now. Because it was cute to see Sooyoung ogle her. 

Now, none of that mattered, because her mood was ruined. Her last stop of the day and then she was going to let Sooyoung choose whatever to do. The Gundam she was after, a rare one that was for the 40th anniversary, was gone from the booth. Only sold a couple of minutes before she got there. And if she hadn’t let Sooyoung distract her for so long then maybe she would have made it on time.

“What’s wrong Soulie?” Jinsoul blows out and tries to not let any more tears slip away. Of course, Sooyoung was trying to suck up now. And even though Sooyoung’s sweet voice melted Jinsoul’s heart it wasn’t enough to mend the cracks that had formed when the stall vendor told her the Gundam wasn’t there.

Even though she knows Sooyoung won’t have a clue of what she’s talking about because most the time she didn’t even listen she still rants to the girl because if anything, Sooyoung’s comfort will make it all better in time. She’s given up really, so now she’ll just settle into Sooyoung’s arms since it was the next best thing. “You remember that Gundam I was telling you about? Well someone got the last one…I can’t believe I was too late. The stall just opened thirty minutes ago its…what am I saying you don’t even care probably.” 

Jinsoul sighs again, “do you care Sooyoung?” She waits for an answer. Waiting for Sooyoung to lie and say she cares. Jinsoul knew that Sooyoung cared about her, but she didn’t give a shit about assembled robots. But to Jinsoul’s surprise, Sooyoung doesn’t answer maybe she was going to be honest like she usually is. “Sooyoung?”

Looking up she finds nobody around her, did she imagine it? Was Sooyoung not even there? What Jinsoul didn’t know was Sooyoung had sprung up and made her way over to the vender as soon as she said the last one was gone. Jinsoul had talked about the thing for at least an hour so it must have been important.

Her heels click against the floor and she makes it right up to the tiny man behind a table. He smiles at her and Sooyoung can tell he’s understanding, “hey um you know the Gundam. The one that was like the anniversary addition?” 

“Yes, but I’m afraid I just sold the last one.” 

“Can you tell me who?” The man is a bit skeptical and looks around to see if anyone’s listening.

Sooyoung leans down when the man gestures for her to come closer. “It was some asshole, he went down that way. He’s carrying a bit of weight and is dressed like captain falcon.” Sooyoung nods knowing exactly what to look for a fat ass in a spandex suit. Thank god she had watched Hyejoo play all those games to know who Captain Falcon was. 

Making her way in the direction he pointed she scans the crowds for a red helmet. It takes her at least a half an hour to find him. She wants to throw up when he’s taking a picture with his thumbs up posed in between two girls’ or really in between their tits. Stalking him she watches as he fails to get their numbers and stomps off when they laugh at him.

Sooyoung eyes the bag from the Gundam stall and frowns at how poorly he’s slinging it around. Jinsoul would treat it like a baby. So it’s only her job to get it to the rightful owner. When he’s alone Sooyoung makes her way up to him, “hey sexy…love your costume.” The guy turns to her voice and smirks. Sooyoung feels the disgust swirling in her tummy when he looks her up and down while licking his lips. 

“Hey baby, Sailor Moon right?” Sooyoung nods knowing that Jinsoul was sailor moon. The next comment he makes lets Sooyoung know just how she’s going to get the Gundam, “Well I’d like to see your sailor Uranus…” Sooyoung tries to not cringe at the wink she’s thrown and only laughs at the terrible pickup line.

After a few more minutes of flirting she pulls the guy away to a secluded corner. He tries to kiss her but she backs away. “Come on don’t be shy we’re alone now,” Sooyoung smirks and tilts her head. 

“How much for the Gundam?” His face expresses confusion and then anger.

The guy puts it behind his back, “seriously you’re after this Gundam? Is it for your boyfriend or something?”

Sooyoung doesn’t think about it that much when she replies, “my girlfriend actually.” She can freak out about it later. The fact that she thinks of Jinsoul as her girlfriend. 

The weirdo snorts and rolls his eyes, “of course you’re one of those females, no way am I giving you this when you probably don’t even know what it is.” 

He tries to walk away but Sooyoung grabs his shoulder and roughly pushes him into the wall. Dragging him away she makes sure he does call for any help since she was gonna have to do this the hard way. Pulling him into the bathroom she uses one hand to pin him against the door and the other to point in his face, “listen here you half nut I will break every bone in your body if you don’t give me that Gundam right fucking now.” 

Caption pigeon starts to shake, real fear in his eyes, “you’re insane!” Sooyoung only smiles and laughs making the guy almost piss his pants. But Sooyoung stops when the guy starts to laugh as well, “you really think I’m afraid of you bitch? You will never get th-OWH!” Sooyoung punched him in the nose knocking him out. She looks down at the passed out blob and chuckles.

Bending down to grab the box she throws down twenty dollars, that should be enough to pay for everything. “Haha sucker.” She leaves him in the bathroom and makes her way out. While going back to Jinsoul she makes a quick search on google. Of her own character, memorizing some poses. She spots some security running around and smirks. There were thousands of girls in sailor uniforms, she’ll never be caught.

Thankfully she spots the group around a Nintendo booth after Hyejoo had texted her their location. Clearing her throat she sits the box down and tries to pose just like she seen in the picture. Feeling the embarrassment rise on her neck and cheeks she squeaks it out, “Usagi T-T…whatever Tostitos!” Yerim claps at her arrival while Hyejoo covers her face because of the second-hand embarrassment. Chaewon is snapping a shot of her while Jinsoul stands in awe. 

Sooyoung keeps the pose, sweat trickling down her face from the nerves and all the body heat in the area. Her breathing becomes unsteady when Jinsoul starts to walk over towards her, a small smile painted on her face as she keeps her eyes on Sooyoung. Smiling too but hers is a bit unsettling for how awkward she feels she lets her heart relax from the gaze full of love and admiration she’s receiving.

“H-how did you?” Jinsoul quietly asks her when she’s close enough. Breaking their eye contact to stare at the box.

Shrugging still in the pose she answers a little out of breath, “I chastised the-.”

Jinsoul reaches forward to plant a finger on her lips, “shut up or you’ll ruin it.” Sooyoung nods her head more than happy to not talk anymore. The blonde only takes her features in like she was seeing her in a new light. Jinsoul grabs on her wrist pulling them down to break her out of character. Jinsoul giggles and pulls her closer so that they’re face to face. 

Yerim nudges her sister and dreamily comments on the site, “god they’re so cute.” Hyejoo only makes a gagging noise to receive a slap to the arm from Chaewon.

Sooyoung smiles purely out of the happiness she feels in this moment. “You really do care.” Jinsoul tilts her head looking at her like she wasn’t even real. And maybe the girl was thinking correct because Sooyoung was feeling superhuman and she knew that wasn’t actually possible. 

Swinging Jinsoul’s hands with her own she brings her face closer to the girl’s looking from underneath her eyelashes into dark eyes, “of course I care silly.” Jinsoul closes her eyes and makes a cute noise underneath her breath. She was wrong about Sooyoung, the girl always was surprising her. 

Suddenly Sooyoung’s hands are pushed away and she’s about to complain until the white fabric of her uniform is grabbed. Her eyes widen when Jinsoul speaks out, “God you’re so…” Sooyoung’s throat dries at the girl’s voice since when did it get that raspy? Slowly bringing her gaze up she tries to not freak out at Jinsoul’s palms flatting out on her tummy. She did not expect this reaction. “I have to use the bathroom will you come with me?” 

She feels like this is a trap but she’s entranced by the darkness in Jinsoul’s eyes and dumbly nods. It’s not like she has much of a choice anyway. The bag is shoved in Chaewon’s arms and Jinsoul drags her away. Sooyoung can feel her tummy twisting into knots and she doesn’t want to put a label on the feeling just yet. Sooyoung didn’t know if she was in trouble or not. 

Jinsoul looks around the bathroom leaving Sooyoung to tremble near the door. The blonde is just fixing herself in the mirror. Taking her buns out and fluffing out her hair. Sooyoung only stares at her through the mirror, just now noticing how tight the costume is on Jinsoul. Meeting Jinsoul’s eyes through the mirror her breath hitches. 

The blonde’s eyes are narrowed and her lips are set in a smirk, showing off her teeth just a tad bit. Sooyoung nervously giggles when she spots Jinsoul’s tongue poke out to lick at pink lips, slowly sliding across her teeth. She knows exactly what she can call the feeling now since she’s experienced this multiple times, especially around Jinsoul. Except for this time it seemed out of control. Sooyoung felt a little insane with how horny she was getting from this stare down. 

When Jinsoul flips her body towards hers Sooyoung can feel her knees go weak. Usually, she was the one doing this to other girls, more in control with her body. But Jinsoul was making her tummy do somersaults and Sooyoung was helpless. She shuffles towards the blonde her heels scuffing against the tile of the bathroom. She’s embarrassed at the noise she lets out when Jinsoul grabs the collar of her shirt.

It happens in the blink of an eye, Sooyoung is shoved towards the stall and slammed against the door eventually falling down on the toilet. Bracing herself on the sides of the stall she looks up at Jinsoul and gulps audibly. The girl locking the door shut and turning around to lean back on it as she gazes down on Sooyoung, she was breaking a sweat just from the stare.

If she wasn’t so distracted by the painful ache in her lower regions right now she’d probably try to make sense of the situation. But she couldn’t help it, Jinsoul had turned her on so much she could feel the pulse from down below. So that’s all she could focus on, is how badly she wanted to be touch…or really how badly she wanted to touch the girl in front of her. 

“How’d you get it?” Sooyoung leans back on the toilet, thankfully the seat was down so she didn’t fall in. She had no idea what Jinsoul was talking about since she really wasn’t thinking about anything other than how hard the blonde was breathing and how her pupils were blown.

Suddenly remembering the events from before she tells the truth, her mind too foggy to come up with an excuse. “I um…punched the last guy to buy one in the nose.” Sooyoung lets her eyes drop to Jinsoul’s skirt where the blue only covered so much of thick thighs she desperately wanted to wrap around her. She even goes far enough to think about asking Jinsoul to show her what’s underneath it. But the thought makes her feel like a pervert. Like the guy she just busted up.

“I know you said no fighting, but you would have hated the guy Jinsoul,” Sooyoung explains herself. Remembering that she promised Jinsoul that she’d behave today. Before Sooyoung could tell Jinsoul she’d be her good girl with confidence but now she sure she probably couldn’t get through the sentence without feeling like a hoe. But right now, at this point she wanted to be a hoe, just for Jinsoul. 

Sooyoung prays to whoever is out there when Jinsoul steps forward, catching onto her smell. It was coconuts, it was always coconuts. Squeezing her legs shut to try and ease the pressure she soon regrets it when she can feel herself throb trying to ease it and she smiles through the pleasure, silently freaking out at how she was on the verge of exploding. 

Her heart stops when she sees Jinsoul’s legs spread and soon enough the girl is climbing on top of her and straddling her lap. Sooyoung closes her eyes and shudders at the heat sinking into her body. Her hands going out to slam onto the side of the stalls once again. Soft hands come in contact with her neck, the goosebumps rising all over her body as they crawl up to cradle her jaw. The long fingers spreading to cover her face.

The ache in her lower stomach was painful now. Her legs shaking from the sensation building in the place she desired to be touched and it was getting almost unbearable. It’s her fault for letting her attraction for Jinsoul to get this strong, her fault for fantasizing so much that the real thing was making her a mess.

There’s a small noise from above, and she subconsciously flutters her eyes open. Jinsoul’s hair is framing her face making her even more attractive. The blush on the blonde’s cheeks highlighting her features creating a sharpness to them. The eye contact tells her that she’s not feeling this way on her own because she’s never seen Jinsoul’s eyes this dark. Her eyes can’t hold for long and they drop to Jinsoul’s pouty lips that start to move when she hears a raspier voice then before, “I like it better when you’re bad.” 

Sooyoung’s lips curl up at the words, “yeah?” Everything about the girl was so captivating and if Jinsoul didn’t do something soon she was going to take action herself. 

Jinsoul’s head moves at the question. Sooyoung can feel Jinsoul’s hot breath on her lips, making them break apart at the sensation. She can’t even swallow since the tension is so thick. So instead she lets herself suffocate to Jinsoul’s touch. Sooyoung isn’t sure she’s going to make it out alive to whatever this might become. Jinsoul’s grip on Sooyoung’s face gets tighter and it’s last chance she gets to breathe, “God you’re so fucking hot.” 

Lips crash onto hers and Sooyoung can’t control herself when she moans into Jinsoul’s hot mouth. Her hands that were on the stall surge back to palm at Jinsoul’s waist. Sooyoung lets her lips slide against Jinsoul’s making wet noises every time they meet in the center. Jinsoul sighs into her mouth when she takes her bottom lip in between hers, sucking so hard it pulls a whine out of the blonde. 

As soon as she releases her lip Jinsoul pulls her closer to herself, making their teeth bang together. Sooyoung doesn’t even mind and slows down to make their kisses deeper and more sensual. Her mind is almost blacking out from how good it feels, and it does nothing to take away from her arousal if anything it’s making it burn hotter.

Sooyoung rubs harshly at Jinsoul’s sides, the heat radiating from the girl’s body causing her fingers to go numb. She’s getting wetter by the minute, the longer they kiss the more she wants to go further. Sooyoung can feel her lips start to swell from how roughly Jinsoul is kissing her like she couldn’t get enough. Whimpering into the girl’s mouth when her lips start to get massaged by Jinsoul’s own she claws into the girl’s flesh, receiving a small moan. 

She’s never heard anything sweeter so she fully wraps around Jinsoul pulling her closer. She tilts her head to deepen the kiss even more when Jinsoul throws her arms around her shoulders locking her head in place. One hand is on her neck and another is tangled in her hair, gripping tightly every time she nips at Jinsoul’s bottom lips or sucks particularly hard. 

The more Jinsoul had kissed her like that the urge to fuck the blonde became harder to resist, Sooyoung could only hope she could hold out long enough for whatever this was to play out.

Adjusting Jinsoul on her lap the blonde brings her knees up to squeeze on her hips, making them buck up from the sudden touch. They both moan at the movement but Sooyoung swallows the second one to come out of Jinsoul’s mouth when she moves her hand to the blonde’s lower back, making it arch to her touch. 

When she feels the same tongue that was teasing her earlier slide across her bottom lip she gladly opens her mouth a little more to let Jinsoul explore inside. Sooyoung ears catch the high pitched noise Jinsoul makes when their tongues come in contact. Sooyoung lets Jinsoul dominate the kiss the girl aggressively pushing her tongue inside, she loves the taste and she could find herself becoming addicted to the sweetness.

A groan bubbles in Sooyoung’s throat when Jinsoul starts to grind on top of her. The desperation becoming obvious so she only holds onto wide hips and helps the girl the most she can. Sooyoung knew what this would have become if this was someone other than Jinsoul. But instead of following her instincts she lets Jinsoul take the lead, not wanting to cross her boundaries and scare Jinsoul or doing something stupid to hurt her. 

Dragging her hands down to the girl’s thigh she grabs the flesh there making the girl pull back from the deep kiss. Sooyoung lets her eyes crack open and she smiles at the long moan that she hears. “You’re such a good kisser,” Jinsoul is out of breath and her voice hoarse from how on edge she was. The blonde leans forward to bite down on Sooyoung’s swollen bottom lip and pulls a bit making the older girl hum at the pain.

Sliding her hand up further and underneath Jinsoul’s skirt and roughly grabs the girl’s ass cheek and squeezes as hard as she can. “Then don’t stop.” Jinsoul rests her forehead against hers and slowly picks back up on the kisses, they seem even more desperate now. It’s sloppy and wet and Sooyoung can feel Jinsoul’s saliva mixing with her own. 

Bringing her other hand to Jinsoul’s ass she has her fun by squeezing as much she can. Jinsoul lays her tongue flat against hers and then closes her lips for a deep kiss. It continues like this for however long, Sooyoung can’t even think about anything else other than the way Jinsoul was grinding on top of her and how her ass fit so nicely in her palms. 

Not being able to handle her urges anymore she brings her hand down and slaps Jinsoul’s right ass cheek. Their lips pop as Jinsoul pulls away, creating a trail of saliva between their lips that’s broken by the distance. Sooyoung’s eyes are still closed carefully listening to Jinsoul’s heavy breathing, picking out the ragged ones to focus on more. 

The slap had created a loud noise and it pulled Jinsoul out of her trance. Sooyoung opens her eyes and whines when the hot body crawls off of her own. Jinsoul looks like a mess, her pink lips now red and puffy from all the attention from Sooyoung’s teeth and her cheeks where blotted. Sooyoung leans back and rubs on her lap, inviting Jinsoul to continue whatever they was just doing.

She wasn’t sure if they’d stay like that forever or if it’d become something more. Either way, Sooyoung didn’t want it to end. “I…um I have to go to the bathroom.” Sooyoung raises a brow as Jinsoul leaves her in the stall by herself. She’s shell-shocked to say the least. Not believing what just happened. The kiss she knows was real because she’s never felt anything like that before. Nothing that passionate or mind-numbing. 

But Jinsoul blowing her off was a bit more confusing. Cursing she leans forward to hold her head in her hands. Maybe Jinsoul freaked out a bit, it wasn’t like they didn’t kiss at the club but this time was a lot different. At the club it was fun but this time she thinks there’s definitely something up. 

Bringing her hand down in between her sweaty thighs she palms herself through the fabric, softly moaning at the pleasure that shoots through her body. Jerking her hand away and feeling the stickiness on it she sighs. That kiss had made her soaking wet even through her panties and the way her heart was drumming was dangerous. 

Standing up she scoffs at the wetness in her underwear and how uncomfortable it is. She can only imagine Jinsoul is in the same situation. Sooyoung wishes she could clean Jinsoul’s up though, tasting the sweetness on the inside of the girl’s thighs. 

She shakes her head and makes her way out of the stall, prepared to forget about this if Jinsoul decides to play it off like it never happened. 

“ _Fuck…Jinsoul_.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aha nobody look at me I’m not PLAYING anyways chapter sponsored by sailorloona. 


	16. Besties

Holding her hand out she tries to assist Jungeun while the girl walks across the sand. It more of an awkward shuffle since her leg was still in the brace but she’s gotten rid of the annoying crutches. Jungeun realized she still needed at least one human crutch though. Sooyoung makes sure the girl doesn’t tip over as she aggressively swings her leg forward. 

As Jungeun takes a break Sooyoung does too since babysitting was draining, “hey Sooyoung…” The girl looks behind her where the deep voice had drawled out her name in an enticing way that had the nerves all up and down her spine tingling. Jinsoul is smiling at her slowly making her way to the nets, Sooyoung swears she’s not imagining things when she sees the blonde throw a wink at her.

Jinsoul’s smile is usually one that you would see in a toothpaste commercial. But this one was mischievous, the one that Sooyoung often seen in her daydreams. Jinsoul was biting down on her bottom lip preventing the smile to grow wider, but it had just as much as an effect on Sooyoung. 

Sooyoung lets her head tilt when Jinsoul’s turns and she lets herself become hypnotized by the blonde’s hips that were rocking a lot more than normal as she walked away. When she starts to drift off into la-la land she forgets about the burden of reality, “hey uh…UH!” Snapping her head to the sound of the panicked voice she barely catches Jungeun who was fumbling forward at a rapid pace. 

Ignoring the curses she’s being bombarded with, some of them hurt even with her standards, she continues to stare at Jinsoul’s turned back. The girl’s hair was so long and it almost reached her lower back. It was pulled into a hair tie, flowing freely. Sooyoung slowly helps her friend back up and guides her to her designated cripple spot, where she had sat most of the summer.

With the way Jinsoul had making her space out maybe she should start sitting there as well.

Ever since that day at the convention Jinsoul had been a lot more forward, a lot more teasing. A lot more difficult for Sooyoung to handle. Sure Sooyoung was good at playing games, flirting with girls. But it was a whole ‘nother thing with Jinsoul. Sooyoung blames it on the fact that the girl is so gorgeous and that’s why her brain short circuits and her nerves get the better of her every time Jinsoul acknowledges her.

Sooyoung had never experienced something like this. Waiting for a phone call and getting so excited she’d have to squeeze her pillow tighter and tighter as Jinsoul would speak out lowly on the speaker. Her grip would loosen whenever the girl would just tell her to come over like she did every night anyways. Sooyoung had started to question the reason she would even go home now if it meant she was going to Jinsoul’s later. 

She was holding her breath at this point. Waiting for something to happen, she sensed it. Sooyoung could easily be wishfully thinking but she’s seen the same look Jinsoul’s given her late at night when they would be talking about everything playing with each other’s hands since they needed some way of contact. Yeah, Sooyoung has seen the look before, from girl’s she’s slept with to people who have confessed to her. But when Jinsoul looked at her in that way it felt a lot different. 

“Put me down, stupid.” Sooyoung assists the girl into a sitting spot on the sand. Jungeun is angry like most of the time. Sooyoung thinks the injury is finally getting to the girl. Jiwoo soon approaches them with a load of items, all for Jungeun of course. Sooyoung helps out by placing the umbrella above the grumbling girl while the redhead sits a cooler beside the ash-blonde and props her leg up so it’s straight. 

Jiwoo kneels in the sand rubbing the small girl’s leg that’s not injured. “Do you need anything else baby?” Jungeun glares at her lover while simultaneously stabbing a juice box. Sooyoung thinks it’s cute at first, how enamored Jiwoo is with Jungeun. Much like she is with Jinsoul, but it soon turns sour because well, Jungeun isn’t as sweet as Jinsoul. 

“Yeah for you to leave me alone, seriously I don’t need you up my ass 24/7.” Jungeun barks out before sucking the soul out of the juice box, leaving Jiwoo broken into millions of pieces. The girl’s pouting is effective even for Sooyoung who doesn’t particularly like Jiwoo after the busted nose. Sooyoung can’t believe her eyes when Jungeun’s mood flips, “I mean no baby, I don’t need anything else thank you.” The redhead giggles as she’s given a fat kiss on the lips. 

Sooyoung watches in awe as Jiwoo skips off in delight that she’s been shown some affection. Turning back to Jungeun she’s about to comment until she’s beaten to the chase, “I don’t want to hear it, I almost fell because you were too busy staring at Jinsoul’s ass.” Her jaws drop and her cheeks become red at the accusation. But it’s nothing but the truth. 

About to tell the girl off the topic of discussion comes behind them, “Jungeun, nice to see you off them crutches.” Keeping her gaze on Jungeun, Sooyoung can feel the sweat run down her back from the stare Jinsoul’s giving her. Slightly turning her head Sooyoung regrets the action since she catches Jinsoul’s eyes roaming over her body, almost predator-like. She doesn’t think she would mind getting eaten alive by Jinsoul however. 

Sooyoung hates Jungeun’s mocking laugh when she holds her mouth open for too long around Jinsoul, “yeah I guess it’s nice to be one step closer to walking again.” Jinsoul nods but it’s like she’s not even acknowledging Jungeun since all her attention is on Sooyoung. That was her purpose of coming over to the two in the first place, just so that she could see the adorable expression on Sooyoung’s face. 

Jungeun lets her eyes bounce back and forth between the two, Jinsoul is standing oddly confident, contrasting months ago when she’d walk around shyly and awkwardly move around whenever someone would address her. Sooyoung, on the other hand, looks like she’s about to have a stroke. Her lips are stretched in a painful smile and her posture could put soldiers to shame. Jungeun doesn’t have any idea what’s going on, but it doesn’t stop her from laughing.

The blonde in front of her places a hand flat on her tummy and faintly whispers out, “I want you to come home with me today, is that okay?” She’s sure her soul has left her body at this point and she nods frantically. Jinsoul smiles widely and leans up to plant a long kiss on her warm cheek thanking her in a sweet voice. The blonde then walks away dragging her palm against Sooyoung’s abs as she does so, leaving goosebumps on the girl’s skin.

Sooyoung squeals with her mouth closed as she goes to sit next to Jungeun. “I think I’m going crazy.” 

“I can tell.” Jungeun thought it was cute with how much Sooyoung was malfunctioning. Years of seeing Sooyoung bullying/lowkey flirting with Jinsoul was painful. Jungeun just wanted to smack the girl upside the head, but the role had almost reversed, of course, there was no more bullying except maybe Sooyoung’s hormones where being abused.

Jungeun dodges the hand flying towards her and watches Sooyoung bite on her nails, trying to think of how to react. “Seriously I don’t know what to do…this is Jinsoul we’re talking about.” 

The blonde thinks for a moment, “Well by the way she’s acting she wants to fuck, it’s very obvious, so maybe you should start there.” Jungeun finishes with a pointed tone, trying to convince the girl beside her more than herself. Because she didn’t need to be convinced. It only took a few hours of observation to tell that Jinsoul wanted Sooyoung. So much that the air around would become thick. Hearing a grunt she turns her head to see Sooyoung glaring at her, “what?”

“I can’t just…” Sooyoung starts off loudly before quieting her voice to a low mumble, her eyes darting around to see if the coast is clear. “f-fuck Jin-her…I can’t do that it’s not that simple.” 

“But it is, all you have to do is say the magic words and I’m sure her panties would be flying off.” Sooyoung’s veins are about to bust from the pressure of her heart pumping too much. She wasn’t really in the place to be thinking about fucking Jinsoul. Because firstly she hasn’t had sex in a record amount of days and secondly she’s never been this horny since she hasn’t really had the time to…take care of herself. 

“Whose panties are flying off?” Sooyoung veins actually pop when she hears her sisters voice. Hyunjin sits beside her with a slushy in hand. Probably from her girlfriend who would drop anything to bring the girl what she wanted.

About to tell her to go away Sooyoung’s cut off by another voice, “Jinsoul’s when your sister finally stops being a loser and makes the move.” Raising her fist to tear up Jungeun’s knee even more it freezes when her sister betrays her.

“Oh girl I know, we all made a bet for when one of them finally cracked you wanna join?” Sooyoung opts out on shrinking into herself to hide from embarrassment. Of course Jungeun joins in. It’s all her sisters, Heejin, some girl named Yeojin, Jiwoo, even Chaewon was in on it. Fifty dollars was on her and twenty was on Jinsoul. 

She stays out of the conversation until Hyunjin says something that piques Sooyoung’s interest, “it’s kinda weird seeing Jinsoul like this. She’s always been so shy and stuff growing up.” Sooyoung couldn’t agree more. Jinsoul’s never been the one to so bold. The girl usually hid behind others and whenever someone would try to pursue her even when Sooyoung would tease her Jinsoul would politely dismiss it. 

It seemed like everyone had noticed it, “is it me or has she always been this fine,” Jungeun questioned and the two beside her hummed out as the blonde they were checking out hopped around with Jiwoo. Sooyoung finds herself smiling at the site of the two, finding it really cute. But she remembers Jungeun’s question when Jinsoul turns around and she gets a good view of the girl’s ass, “She’s always been so damn fine.” Sooyoung mumbles out more to herself than anything. Coach V then whistles telling them that practice is about to start and Sooyoung pulls her sister to the side as they walk towards the nets.

“How much is in the bet?” She quietly asks.

“Seventy dollars right now between seven of us, me and Chaewon the ones that said Jinsoul would give first.” Hyunjin explains to her, so then those two would get thirty-five each if they were to win.

Smiling she winks at her sister, “I’ll make sure you win kiddo.” Hyunjin actually smiles back which was unusual and Sooyoung pretends that nothing happened as they broke apart. 

Practice was the usual, Sooyoung testing her skills of being a pro-athlete and proving to her coach that she was the best of the best. Sooyoung wasn’t cocky, but she knew she was good. She made every serve, aced every spike and didn’t miss a dig. She was confident that they would win nationals this year, especially since Jinsoul was approving rapidly. 

And speaking of the girl, she was all over her. Sooyoung didn’t get to rest in between sets or volleys because Jinsoul would be clinging onto her. Either in the form of a hug or talking her ear off. Sooyoung would find it annoying if the blonde wasn’t so damn cute. She was tired by the end of the practice and it wasn’t from all the exercise she got.

Chugging down a bottle of water Jinsoul waits patiently for her to finish before dragging her away. She barely had enough time to say goodbye to everybody. Sooyoung throws her bag in the back and stares at Jinsoul who is standing near the driver’s door. Recalling the conversation she had with Jungeun and her sister she relays it to the blonde, “you seem happier lately Jinsoul.”

The blonde smiles and leans up onto the vehicle and Sooyoung doesn’t take her eyes off her as she shuts the door. “Hmm I wonder why?” Jinsoul winks and climbs up into the jeep leaving Sooyoung a bit confused. 

Even when Sooyoung asks the same question multiple times she just gets a vague response, and the girl continues to drive and sing along to the radio. Sooyoung was glad Jinsoul wasn’t that secretive anymore.

But there was still a lot she didn’t understand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Stumbling down the hallway Sooyoung shakes the water out of her hair and makes her way into Jinsoul’s room. Jinsoul was laying on her bed with her belly on the mattress and her feet were crossed in the air. Sooyoung smiles at the site since Jinsoul was in nothing but a pair of boy shorts and one of Sooyoung’s cut off t-shirts. The girl is reading some paper, not facing Sooyoung. So it allowed her to sneak in quietly without being noticed.

Sliding her towel down she quietly slips on some sweats and a shirt that was laying on the floor. Jinsoul doesn’t appear to notice her just yet so Sooyoung slowly creeps towards the bed before jumping onto it and on top of Jinsoul making the girl squeal out. Sooyoung laughs at she wrestles around with Jinsoul who had become flustered after the scare. 

Sooyoung raises up when she starts to receive harsh slaps to the shoulder, telling her that her action was not appreciated. “Seriously? I almost pissed myself!” Jinsoul groans and flips over to face Sooyoung. 

“Ew? Why would you say that, you’re weird.” Jinsoul rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. Sooyoung is smiling at the girl, her blonde hair is tied in a mess and she thinks Jinsoul looks the best barefaced. Jinsoul tries to act mad at her but soon the blonde starts to smile too, shifting up to crawl over to Sooyoung. She already knows what Jinsoul wants so she opens her arms and invites the girl in for a hug.

Jinsoul melts into her arms and lets her body slump against hers. Sooyoung leans back a little and wraps her arms around the girl’s barely covered waist and buries her face in the crook of her neck. Warmth engulfs Sooyoung as she lays back and tangles her limbs with Jinsoul’s a whine bubbling in her throat when the girl breathes out right against her ear, “you smell so good Sooyoungie.” 

Sooyoung likes the way the lite contact makes her ear burn, the tone of Jinsoul’s voice didn’t help Sooyoung to find the compliment platonic. Jinsoul’s arms were wrapped tightly around her shoulders, her body arched into her own whenever she would squeeze the girl closer. She loved holding Jinsoul like this and if she could, she’d hold the girl forever in her arms.

The time passes by slowly as so does Sooyoung’s breathing. She tries to match Jinsoul’s steady beat so much that she feels like she’s about to fall asleep. It was so comfortable that she almost wanted to cry when Jinsoul pulled away from her, the blonde using her hands as leverage to hover over her. “Let’s have some fun tonight.”

Sooyoung blushes at the words, “ah-ha uh…like what? Sooyoung swallowed hard when she caught Jinsoul biting her lips hard while letting her eyes travel down below. The situation is familiar but Sooyoung remembers being the one that was teasing Jinsoul, not the other way around. The blonde above her laughs and leans her head down to rest on her chest.

She doesn’t know what’s so funny but she laughs with the girl anyways. Jinsoul raises up and shakes her head, her next words knocking the air out of Sooyoung’s lungs. “Baby you’re so cute.” Jinsoul sweetly mutters out while giving her an equally sweet smile. 

“B-baby?” Sooyoung chokes out watching Jinsoul roll off of the bed and onto her feet, the blonde biting back a laugh and nodding once they locked eyes again. Sooyoung felt dizzy from all the blatant flirting and teasing. She never expected Jinsoul to be like this back then when she would fantasize about these scenarios. Her best friend being into her just as much as she was into her. Jinsoul swings her arms around as she waits for Sooyoung recuperate. Shaking her head she plants her feet on the ground, “I don’t know who you’re calling baby.”

Jinsoul rolls her eyes and reaches forward to pinch at her cheeks. She tries her best to swat the hands away but deep down inside she loves it. But she wasn’t going to let Jinsoul know this, or let the blonde win the game whatever she was playing at. Sooyoung wasn’t going to look like some idiot who doesn’t know how to handle a cute girl’s advances. Especially from Jinsoul, but it hard when Jinsoul looked like that…and had that deep voice.

“You duh…you’re the baby and you know you like it.” The last part was spoken slower and heavier making Sooyoung’s insides tingle. About to ignore the feelings she tries to argue but Jinsoul shuts her up by leaving the room. She has no choice but to follow if she didn’t want to lose to Jinsoul. The blonde patters down the steps and Sooyoung does the same.

When the blonde suddenly stops at the bottom Sooyoung struggles to not run into the girl. It proves to be pointless when Jinsoul backs into her anyways. Sooyoung tries to not focus on the fact that Jinsoul’s ass is right against her, causing her mind and body to malfunction. Especially her hands since its instinct to grab onto Jinsoul’s hips and pull her even closer. Instead of following that and ignoring her urges she plants both of her hands on the wall beside her.

Jinsoul is peaking around the wall and stands straight up. She holds her breath as the blonde leans her head back onto her shoulder. “Chaewon has all her little baddie friends over and they got way too much drank.” Sooyoung nods just now catching onto the voices in the kitchen. This must be the fun Jinsoul was talking about. “I think we can help ourselves to some of it right?” Sooyoung smiles along with Jinsoul’s own devilish smile and they come up with a plan.

Sooyoung would be a distraction and Jinsoul would sneak and grab the liquor. She suggests to Jinsoul that they could just…ask for a bottle but the blonde concludes that it would be boring and lame for them to do that. And Sooyoung doesn’t want to come off as either of those things to Jinsoul. 

So now she was slowly walking into the kitchen with a made up beat in her head. There’s about five girl’s and Sooyoung only recognizes one, YooA the one she tried to lay the mack on back then when she and Jinsoul were still frienemies. Clearing her throat and ignoring Chaewon’s death glare she speaks out to the group, “what up I’m Sooyoung, I will be doing an acapella…of dance.” 

One random girl speaks up, “what is an aca-.”

“Shut up and let me do my thang shawty.” Sooyoung interrupts the girl and slips the flat bill hat Jinsoul gave her lower on her head. “This is my interpretation of grind with me by pretty ricky.” Sooyoung starts to slide down to the floor so she can start dancing but a frantic voice and a pull of hands stops her. 

Chaewon is gritting her teeth when she makes her stand back up straight. The tiny blonde turns to her friends and starts to explain frantically with her hands waving in the air, “haha don’t mind my friend she sniffed markers too much when she was a kid.” Sooyoung nods and looks at all the pretty girls especially Jinsoul who was nabbing a bottle of liquor from the ice bucket. 

“Nah let your homie dance Chae…she cute.” The blonde’s eyes almost pop of her head and Sooyoung smiles wider not realizing how all the girls are giving her bedroom eyes. She felt like she was in heaven. “Yeah, can she take her shirt off too? I’m trying to see sumthing.” Jinsoul turns around in that moment and Sooyoung realizes that maybe this plan wasn’t the greatest they could have come up with. 

“What’d you say hoe?” Jinsoul threatens the girl who didn’t even notice her behind. The girl with no name jumps a foot in the air and backs into YooA who still has her eyes on Sooyoung. Jinsoul crosses her arms with the liquor still in hand and pokes out her hip. “That’s my best friend you talking about, what you mean you tryna see something?”

The girl checks Jinsoul before puffing her chest out, “well your bestfriend is cute and I think I like her, you gonna do something ‘bout it?”

Sooyoung’s smile slowly falls when Jinsoul’s face contorts to anger and the girl’s hand comes up to point in the other girl’s face, “I’m gonna do something ‘bout that attitude if you keep that mouth running!” Chaewon starts to laugh nervously stumbling forward to go break apart the girls who were getting too close for comfort. 

“Then do something hoe? Go ‘head pull up.” Jinsoul raises her fist but Chaewon stops her and pulls her away. The girl smiles and starts clapping when Jinsoul gets even angrier at her mocking laugh. “You’ve got me fucked up Barbie! You better be glad ya’ sister pulled ya’ ass away before it got rocked!”

Chaewon curses at the girl before pulling Jinsoul all the way back, “tinashe please that’s enough.”

Jinsoul’s nose is flared up and she’s red by the time she makes it to Sooyoung. The taller girl doesn’t think she’s seen anything hotter than what she just witnessed. She’s beyond horny and she feels a bit guilty because Jinsoul looks stressed from the event. Before dragging her away she yells at the girl one more time, “you better keep that energy the next time I see you stupid trick ass bitch! Imma pop that nasty mouth of yours!” 

Sooyoung ignores the throbbing in her lower regions and lets Jinsoul push her upstairs away from all the screaming girls. Once the door is closed and locked behind them Jinsoul opens the bottle and starts to chug. Sooyoung panics at the rate that Jinsoul is drinking and grabs the bottle, “hol’ up let’s take it slow okay?” Jinsoul glares at her as she takes the bottle away and sits it on the desk.

“You like that shit don’t you?” Sooyoung hums as she pops the top back onto the bottle. “When girls be like that all over you.” She doesn’t mean to snort at Jinsoul’s question but she can’t help it and ends up making Jinsoul pissy. Turning to Jinsoul who is giving her the worst look imaginable she tries to convince the girl that she doesn’t like the attention, when she obviously does. But these days all she needs is Jinsoul, that’s all she wants. Is Jinsoul.

Grabbing the girl’s waist and ignoring the fact that she’s instantly pushed off she makes her case, “of course not Jindori, that stuff bugs me.” Jinsoul doesn’t seem to believe her by the way her eyes narrow so Sooyoung pouts her lips and tilts her head that makes the blonde’s gaze soften. Jinsoul’s jealous side may have be sexy but Sooyoung preferred the affectionate side over anything.

“I only like it when you’re all over me.” Jinsoul rolls her eyes and throws her head back at the confession and Sooyoung considers it a win when the blonde steps closer to her and replaces her hands back onto her hips.

Sooyoung grips hard as Jinsoul stares into her eyes, “what am I going to do with you Ha Sooyoung?” Feeling her heartrate pick up at Jinsoul’s question she shrugs her shoulders.

“You’re going to get drunk with me.” Sooyoung winks and goes to grab the bottle before flopping onto the floor and so does Jinsoul. The blonde sits across from her and holds her leg between her own, rubbing up and down beneath Sooyoung’s sweat pants as they continue to drink. 

The bottle is half gone by the time they start to talk, the sipping slowing down. “You wanna know what I wanna know?” Jinsoul narrows her eyes at the dumb question and squeezes onto Sooyoung’s ankle before dragging her hand upward to massage the muscle. Sooyoung sighs at the touch and leans back onto her hands closing her eyes at the memories. She doesn’t understand why Jinsoul has always been so jealous of other girls. 

The Kim and Im sisters back in highschool, YooA, Kyungri, and even Sori, not counting other girl’s that has tried to flirt with her when they’re together. Jinsoul always got so mad for some reason. Like she didn’t want Sooyoung talking to other girls. She didn’t mind Jinsoul’s possessiveness but it was confusing when Jinsoul wasn’t even hers and she wasn’t Jinsoul’s. 

It was even more confusing remembering back when Jinsoul supposedly hated her. Why would she be jealous then? Shouldn’t she had been happy for Sooyoung to finally be occupied with other girls? But then that’s when she realizes it was all a lie, an act back then. Jinsoul really didn’t hate her and that thought evokes a feeling Sooyoung’s never really experienced. It was frustrating, Jinsoul was like a girlfriend except without all the…other stuff.

But now it was very similar to dating with how close they were. Something Sooyoung has never done before but the only person she could ever see herself was Jinsoul. 

Now it was a different kind of frustration, she just wanted Jinsoul to cuff her already. She wanted to blonde to show her off. Sooyoung wanted to be Jinsoul’s more than anything and she truly felt that way whenever she seen the girl’s blind jealously. “I wanna know why you don’t like when girls holla at me? Shouldn’t you be my wingman or something since we’re besties?” Her speech is slurred just a bit but her mind is sober enough to think straight. 

Jinsoul frowns and squeezes her ankle harder, “because they don’t deserve you.” Sooyoung giggles a bit and rocks her leg in between Jinsoul’s hands. Jinsoul was acting like she was dating these girls and giving her heart to them. “I don’t either but at least I love you for who you really are.” Her heart is thumping slowly as Jinsoul’s words come out even slower. 

The next thing the blonde says makes the breath in Sooyoung’s throat freeze, “I don’t want you to end up falling for some girl either and forgetting about me. I want to always be your number one.” Jinsoul was Sooyoung’s number one. No matter what would happen between them Sooyoung was convinced no one would compare to Jinsoul even if she tried the hardest she could. That thought used to scare her but now she embraced it.

“I’ve never been in love Jinsoul, it’s just fucking.” Jinsoul’s touch stutters and so does her breath. That’s all it’s ever been to Sooyoung was just fucking. She was subconsciously saving her heart for Jinsoul. Even if back then she hated the thought of giving herself entirely to the girl but now it was all she wanted to do. 

Jinsoul then looks at her, eyes filled with nothing but devotion. The first part of that sentence was a lie, both of them knew that. Because they both felt it, that feeling that they were both too afraid to say out loud so instead they communicated it through touch, through stolen glances. Through the kisses that were becoming more common.

There was still a barrier though, it was Jinsoul’s secrets and Sooyoung’s fear of learning them. “Well I’ll try to remember that the next time you’re flirting.” Sooyoung nods and lets her teeth show through a goofy smile. “That you’re just playing these poor girl’s hearts.” Jinsoul pinches her leg making her lunge forward to protect herself. 

Sooyoung traps the girl into a hug and tumbles to the floor, feeling her chest bloom into something warm when she hears the cute giggles. “Don’t say it like that!” She says right into Jinsoul’s ear and she fits her hips in-between the girl’s legs. Tickling at the girl’s side she tries to not panic when she feels Jinsoul’s legs come to wrap around her back.

The girl groans and it makes the pleasure burn in Sooyoung’s tummy. Raising up on her elbow and using the other hand as leverage she looks down on the girl. Her eyes darting between the girl’s own. Sooyoung is so close she can see Jinsoul’s pupils dilate, she knows its desire. How dark Jinsoul’s eyes are and how painful the pressure is down below. 

She’s never wanted someone this badly, actually Sooyoung was starting to think she needed Jinsoul.

Jinsoul smiles, her eyes crinkling up and her lips spreading thin. Sooyoung’s site is blinded by how white Jinsoul’s teeth are. Softly humming when the girl's hand comes up to cup her jaw she closes her eyes when the girl mumbles out, “you’re the one that seems so happy lately Sooyoung, are you finally comfortable around me again?”

Nodding without opening her eyes she confesses, “I think I’m starting to trust you again Jinsoul.” She hears a soft sigh come out of the blonde’s mouth and slowly opens her eyes again. Jinsoul eyes are hooded and her bright smile has become much smaller but it still holds the same power. The alcohol wasn’t making them drunk anymore, it was this dizzy tension they had created between each other. From the touches to the words mutter out, everything was a lot more blurred including her vision that was trying to keep a focus on Jinsoul’s captivating stare.

Of course she was happier, she was with Jinsoul again. Her other half. Everything in her life was fine before but just to have someone as perfect as Jinsoul with her made it all the more awarding. Jinsoul had shown her she could trust her, everything was more relaxing with the blonde. Her fears were starting to fade into nothing. The only thing not relaxing was how the girl drove her crazy. 

Jinsoul set her body on fire but she was the only one that could put out the fire. She was on edge and she couldn’t help but let her gaze fall lower to Jinsoul’s lips that were parted when Sooyoung saw the pink tongue poke out to wet already glossy lips she lost her last string of control, “fuck I really want to kiss you right now.” Sooyoung’s brows knot when she hears the gasp and Jinsoul’s limbs wrap around her tighter, squeezing the life out of her.

She told herself she’d let Jinsoul take the lead if they ever became anything more if this fantasy in her head ever became real. Every day spent with Jinsoul was giving her more proof that is was. She never wanted to push Jinsoul because she didn’t want to scare the girl or make her uncomfortable. That was all becoming a blur though because Jinsoul wanted it just as bad. Sooyoung knew it from the girl’s desperate words almost panted from her lips, “please Sooyoung.” 

How could she not give into it?

Sooyoung felt it all the way to her toes to hear Jinsoul’s soft voice begging and she leaned down to capture the girl’s lips on her own. Sooyoung groans into the kiss since Jinsoul had brought her hands up to thread into her hair, digging into her scalp. It’s slow at first, just reminding Sooyoung how good it felt. Blowing through her nose she deepens it, making the blonde whimper beneath her. 

Dragging her hand across the carpet she seeks the curve of Jinsoul’s waist and palms it roughly as she massages the girl’s lips with her own. By the minute their lips were getting swollen along with another nerve down below that making Sooyoung more needy with every slow kiss. She’s never met anymore that kissed better than Jinsoul. The girl beneath her was so sensual and passionate, it was smooth while also consuming Sooyoung.

Biting down on the girl’s lips she tries to get her to open up, so she can taste the sweetness on her tongue. Jinsoul doesn’t let her though, still battling for dominance. Sooyoung wants to teach the blonde that she’d be the one in control, not the other way around. Leaning her body weight onto Jinsoul’s fully she brings her hand that was holding her up above the girl down to the other side of her waist. Jinsoul whines when she squeezes roughly, digging her thumbs into the flesh covered by cotton. 

That’s what she needed to break Jinsoul because all it takes is the touch of her tongue and Jinsoul is submitting to her. Sooyoung wanted to smile with how desperate the kisses were getting, how frantically Jinsoul was trying to meet her lips, how her tongue glided against her own. Sooyoung’s resolve starts to become non-existent as she grinds her hips down into Jinsoul’s.

Jinsoul pulls away with Sooyoung’s lip between her teeth at the sensation and crosses her legs against the girl’s back to pull her down closer. Sooyoung does it again, harder this time, the slight relief of pressure making her dizzy. The deep and low moan that she pulls out of Jinsoul’s throat shoots straight to her core. Not being able to take it anymore Jinsoul throws her head back at the grind of Sooyoung’s hips and tries to not moan so loudly.

Sooyoung doesn’t waste the opportunity and attaches her lips to Jinsoul jawline and sucks on the skin there. Jinsoul’s hands dart to the back of her neck and the side of her face, cradling her as she marks all over her jaw. Sooyoung kisses right below the girl’s ear and it makes her moans pitch higher. Jinsoul can feel the wetness pool in her now ruined shorts. 

Moving her lips down to Jinsoul’s neck she bites down hard and she hums against the abused area when the body underneath her arches into her. Rolling her hips in a rhythm she lays her tongue flat on the base of Jinsoul’s throat and mewls at the vibrations against it before closing her mouth to plant a sloppy kiss there. She continues to kiss around Jinsoul’s throat, the sweat starting to stick to her body.

She lifts Jinsoul’s hips to meet hers, trying to get the friction she craved. Sooyoung smiles and buries her face in Jinsoul’s neck when the girl groans out, “ _Sooyoung that feels so good…”_ Biting down one more time soothing the mark with a kiss she raises up. Jinsoul starts to protest and jerks her back down pleading her to stay, “ _no no no please don’t stop_.” Sooyoung laughs as she continues to raise up and shift over a bit so that her leg is fitted between Jinsoul’s. 

Jinsoul instantly moans and wraps one of her ankles around Sooyoung’s and starts to grind against her thigh. She has her eyes squeezed shut and sucks in air through her teeth at friction finally between her legs. Sooyoung only hovers above her and watches the blonde’s hips wildly roll up and down. She wishes she didn’t have these sweat pants on so she can feel how wet Jinsoul was. 

The blonde has her hands tightly gripped on her shoulders and they slide down to her tummy and sneak up her shirt. Sooyoung flexes her abs at the soft touch and soon they twitch when Jinsoul scrapes her nails down. Although she’s enjoying the show she knows Jinsoul wants more…needs more so she lowers herself on the blonde and makes the connection tighter. 

Jinsoul shudders and her hips stop. Sooyoung is about to ask what’s wrong until the girl flips them over. At first, she’s shocked, but she’s soon distracted by Jinsoul’s hand that comes up to grope at her tits. Jinsoul closes her eyes and starts to rock against Sooyoung’s thigh the palm of her hands rubbing at Sooyoung’s nipples and she thinks she’s gonna have a stroke from how good it feels. 

Sooyoung only lays back and guides the girl’s hips, Jinsoul is basically using her at this point. She closes her eyes to listen to Jinsoul’s moans, it’s unfair how good she sounds, her voice is so pretty and Sooyoung can’t get enough of it. Her moans are deep and raspy and they’re not quiet. She would bet money that the other girls could hear Jinsoul but that’s what Sooyoung wanted, to let them know who she belongs to. 

Jinsoul’s rhythm is becoming uneven and she’s starting to pant instead of moan. Sooyoung watches her face scrunch up and she knows she’s close. The hands slide out of her shirt and grip at the fabric and Jinsoul starts to fall forward and Sooyoung catches her. Embracing the girl she massages the girl’s back as she continues to fuck herself on her thigh. She can feel the heat from Jinsoul’s pussy through the fabric of their clothes and she wishes she can bury her fingers deep in Jinsoul just to really appreciate it. 

Spreading her fingers across Jinsoul’s back she places her lips on the blonde’s ear. Sooyoung struggles with the words since her breath is so heavy but that finally come out, “are you having fun? Riding me like this Jinsoul?” The girl whimpers when Sooyoung bites her ear and pulls away, she throws her arms around her shoulders and continues to grind down, the fabric of her shorts becoming so hot and wet making it sticky

Sooyoung hands travel lower until they’re on Jinsoul’s ass and she gives it a squeeze before slamming down both hands, creating a sweet sound to Sooyoung’s ear. Jinsoul freezes in her movements trying to adjust to the pleasure, her pussy is throbbing and grinding was the only thing taking the almost painful sensation away. She’s forced to start moving again when Sooyoung spanks her, “who told you to stop? Keep going baby I know you want to.” 

Jinsoul bites down on her lips so hard her lips she swears it begins to bleed. Sooyoung slips her hands into Jinsoul’s boy shorts and squeezes onto her ass, feeling it flex and soften every time she pumps her hips. It fills her palms up and Sooyoung doesn’t whatever is happening to end, so she does her best to try and prolong it. Jinsoul’s hips are moving fast, and sure it’s probably pleasurable but only because it’s intense and the quickest way to get off. 

But Sooyoung wants Jinsoul to feel everything. So she brings only one hand back up to slide underneath Jinsoul’s shirt and presses it against the girl’s lower back. “Slow down Jinsoul, it’ll be better.” The blonde goes to a stop and leans back to look at Sooyoung. Jinsoul is sweating some of her baby hair sticking to her forehead and her eyes are glossy and black. “Go all the way up and down for me, okay?” Jinsoul nods and with the guidance of Sooyoung’s hand, she starts to pull her hips into a longer, slower ride where she grinds onto Sooyoung’s thigh more.

A long moan comes out of the girl’s mouth and Sooyoung pants at the feeling of Jinsoul’s back arching every time she grinds down. This is what heaven was like, Sooyoung convinced herself she’d never find anyone that drove her to this kind of high. Breathing against the girl’s ear she praises her, “see? You’re doing so good baby just like that.” 

She kneads the flesh in her palm that’s situated on Jinsoul’s ass. Sooyoung couldn’t count the times she’s thought about doing this and she’s not for sure if she could keep her hands to herself after this. “ _I think I’m_ _gonna…_ ” Sooyoung holds her tighter and Jinsoul slows down and starts to shake a bit. Soon the girl gasps and holds her breath and Sooyoung can feel the skin on her neck being ripped by Jinsoul’s nails. She swallows as she waits and when it hits Jinsoul she feels the relief too, “ _oh my fucking god_.”

Jinsoul slumps into her arms and trembles as she rides out the orgasm, her moans becoming whiny and quieter as she breathes heavily like she wasn’t getting enough oxygen. Sooyoung squeezes her ass one more time before bringing her arms up to hug Jinsoul as the girl further relaxed in her embrace. Softly humming a tune she waits patiently for Jinsoul to come down from her high.

Sooyoung has never had something that intimate before and they didn’t really do much. She still had all her clothes on. Jinsoul’s arms that were locked around her in a death grip slowly slide back around and palms reach down to her chest and push off. Jinsoul’s face is blood red and her eyes a bit softer than the sharp glare than before. The girl seems surprised at what just happened and even looks down at her core still connected with Sooyoung’s thigh.

“Hehe hi.” Jinsoul’s gaze snaps back up to Sooyoung who is definitely love sick at this point.

Trying to lean forward to capture Jinsoul’s swollen lips the blonde keeps her back, “why are you looking at me like that.” Sooyoung quirks an eyebrow up at Jinsoul’s shaky tone. The blonde was frazzled and her hands shook against Sooyoung’s chest.

“What do you mean?” Sooyoung slowly questions.

Jinsoul narrows her eyes and grips at her shirt, “I don’t know…you’re being weird.”

Laughing Sooyoung ignores the glare she receives, “hmm didn’t you just-,” Jinsoul presses her finger to her lips to cut off her sentence. The girl is starting to scare her, the expression on her face blank and serious. But the tension in chest turns thin when Jinsoul finally breaks and a shy smile stretches on her face. 

Jinsoul leans forward to finally kiss her lips, short but heavy, “So I’m the weird one here?” Jinsoul scoffs and starts to stand up but her knees are a bit shaky from the workout she just did. Sooyoung tilts her head watching Jinsoul wobble off to her drawer, probably to change panties. 

“Don’t look okay?”

Sooyoung smiles, “okay Jinsoul.” She doesn’t turn her eyes away in the slightest. The blonde is still turned away from her and starts to slide her underwear down. That’s when Sooyoung sees the mess she made. It’s even on Jinsoul’s thighs and she quickly looks down at her sweats and softly gasps when she sees the slight dampness to the area Jinsoul was riding. Looking back up she smiles to see the shorts that are ruined by sticky wetness and Sooyoung wants to nothing but clean it all up, “fuck that’s hot.”

Jinsoul freezes and turns around to see Sooyoung eying her ass and…other area. Pulling her shirt down to cover herself she starts to scream at the girl, “I told you not to look!” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and brings her hand up to cover them. When Jinsoul thinks the coast is clear Sooyoung spreads her fingers and peaks through them, Jinsoul ends up screaming again and throwing her underwear at the girl.

She knows her mistake when the girl catches them like her life depended on it, “oh god put those down!”

Sooyoung takes them and closely inspects them, she didn’t think she would find cum to look so appetizing until now. Jinsoul is trying to snatch them away but Sooyoung lifts her feet in the air every time Jinsoul comes near and kicks at her if she gets close. “No I earned these!” Jinsoul kicks her in the side making her cry out in pain and finally tears the underwear out of her hands. Sooyoung starts to fake cry as Jinsoul stomps over and throws them into the laundry bin.

Jinsoul doesn’t even try to cover herself anymore and tries to calmly tell the girl that’s staring at her pussy that she’s leaving. “I’m gonna go shower.” 

Sooyoung doesn’t take her eyes off the prize, “what? No just stay I can clean you up.” 

Confused at the statement Jinsoul slowly starts to cover herself back up, “what are you talking about.” 

Grumbling that Jinsoul was now covering herself she rolls her eyes, “I’m saying let me eat you out.” Jinsoul gasps and fully covers herself. The suggestion had brought the heat back into her tummy and it was hotter than before, just the thought of Sooyoung’s lips lower than her neck was making her insides complete mush. “Come on Jinsoul I wanna give you head you already came…” Sooyoung finally stops looking down there and meets her eyes, “really hard, don’t you wanna do it again?” 

Sooyoung wasn’t for sure of what she was doing, if she was sober and not so painfully aroused she would never talk to Jinsoul like this in a million years. The blonde had always been on her mind like this, and she was conformable with Jinsoul. She was sure that if they did this nothing would change between them, at least for the worst. But their relationship could become even more perfect.

Jinsoul seen the devil in Sooyoung’s eyes, how could someone be so adorable but then become sexy like this in seconds. Jinsoul felt the pressure starting to build once again and Sooyoung’s was becoming unbearable. But she controls herself, _almost_ and she goes to sit on her bed. “I’m not going to sleep with you Sooyoung.” 

Crawling over to Jinsoul she pouts and presses her cheek against the girl’s knee, “pretty please? I promise I’ll be good, I won’t ask any more after this.” Jinsoul keeps her legs snapped shut when Sooyoung tries to pry them open. She was dying for a taste. But Jinsoul wasn’t letting up so she begged some more, “You’ve got me so horny right now Jinsoul, you can’t just leave me like this after I helped you.”

Sooyoung thinks she’s won until Jinsoul grabs her hair and pulls back making her whine at the slight pain, “you said it was just fucking right?” She nods her head frantically if Jinsoul didn’t want any feelings involved then so be it. She’d deal with her heart later right now she needed to deal with the low throb of arousal. Jinsoul smiles and leans down, “well that’s too bad.”

Sooyoung blinks as her head is released and Jinsoul takes off her shirt. She swears her mouth is watering as she takes in Jinsoul. The girl is stunning, her titties sitting nicely on her chest and her abs are sculpted so prettily. She wants to press her lips on Jinsoul’s small brown nipples, her golden blonde hair laying across her shoulders making her skin look even darker from the contrast. “I’m not letting you fuck me Sooyoung.” 

Frowning she hates the reaction, did she take it too far? She was sure she was reading all the signals right. “I don’t want to become one of those girl’s you play with.” Sooyoung shakes her head. She’d never play Jinsoul, Sooyoung already treated her like a princess how could she think that? 

Sooyoung massages the girl’s thighs with her palms, putting on her best pout, “Jinsoul you’re not just some other girl to me, you’re my best friend.” Jinsoul narrows her eyes at her trying to see if she was lying or not. Truth is Jinsoul did believe Sooyoung, she was just afraid. She wasn’t ready. Because she knew if they had sex feelings would become more apparent, they were already so obvious but it would be difficult to hide if she started sleeping with Sooyoung.

The girl below her looked so cute though and she couldn’t believe Sooyoung had even asked. She could see the desperation in her eyes. Jinsoul knew they could do something, they were just girls right? They were best friends so who said they couldn’t make themselves feel good. “I know something we can do, something I think you’ll like just as much.” 

Keeping her eyes on swollen lips Sooyoung becomes infatuated with Jinsoul’s smile, “I’m not for sure if I follow.”

The blonde laughs and pulls her up to the bed, “baby if you’re horny, don’t you think we could help ourselves?” Sooyoung nods as she crawls on top of the girl looking down at her body. If her mouth wasn’t clamped shut, her teeth in a grind she’s sure she would be drooling. Jinsoul had a full set of hips and every inch of her looked soft to the touch. Sooyoung wasn’t for sure at what pace they was going, so she stayed completely still.

Sooyoung catches herself zoning in on Jinsoul’s lower half, “If I would have known…about whatever this is I would have cleaned up a bit better.” While Sooyoung liked to keep hers neat she didn’t mind at all, if anything she liked it. Jinsoul starts to get self-conscience under Sooyoung’s gaze, she was being analyzed from head to toe and she wasn’t for sure what to think of it. The girl’s eyes above her were glazed but Jinsoul was too gone to really figure the look out.

“I like it,” Jinsoul swallows hard at the deep tone of Sooyoung’s voice. The nerves were starting to get to them, the post-nut confidence and high making them aware of the situation. “Um so…what are we doing?” Sooyoung asks hesitantly the longer she stared at Jinsoul’s body the longer she wanted to just dive in. But what if she was bad? Jinsoul said she liked all night, rough, baby making or whatever all that, which was Sooyoung’s typical way of fucking but what if she couldn’t pull it off this night due to nerves.

Jinsoul takes her hands that were gripping the sheet, regretting getting naked so soon and bring them to grip at Sooyoung’s arms. “I was thinking we could just I dunno, beat off or something.” Sooyoung’s eyes relax and she stops staring at Jinsoul’s tits to actually make eye contact. It’s relief but also disappointing. Relived at the fact she didn’t have to perform under stress and disappointed since she wasn’t going to finally live her fantasy.

But they had the rest of the summer and Sooyoung was positive that her dreams would come true.

“O-okay.” Sooyoung stutters and flips off of Jinsoul. They lie there staring at the ceiling for a good minute until Sooyoung mumbles something out while trying to contain her giggles, “I was so nervous hehe.”

Jinsoul sighs out and turns to look at her, “me too! I thought I was the only one when you said you wanted to give me head I thought I was gonna have a stroke!” Sooyoung laughs and claps her hands together while Jinsoul scoots closer towards her wrapping her naked body around her.

Sooyoung covers her mouth as she recalls Jinsoul’s face, “That was me being silly,” but then she turns serious and looks Jinsoul straight in the eyes, “but I was being so deadass.” Jinsoul snaps her mouth closed as well. After seconds of intense staring, they burst back into laughter Sooyoung coping a feel on Jinsoul’s ass again since she couldn’t help herself. After the nerves and giggles had died down Sooyoung rests her head on the bed and squeezes at the flesh in her hand, “I don’t know about you but I need to get off…soon or I’m gonna die.” 

Jinsoul agrees and raises up in the bed, guiding Sooyoung up as well. She lets the blonde strip her from her clothes, the only noise in the room is their shaky breathing. First comes her shirt and Jinsoul’s touch ghosts over her tummy, feeling the muscles tense there. Next the soft hands grip at the waistband on her sweats and tugs down. The girl slides them off while leaning over to pull Sooyoung’s lips in a slow, heavy kiss.

Sooyoung chases the girl’s lips after she backs away, there was something different about it. Leaving her to want more and more. She could never have enough for Jinsoul. The blonde tosses the clothes off the bed and goes for her underwear next. Sooyoung blushes all the way down her chest as Jinsoul stares at her pussy. Unlike the blonde she kept hers neatly trimmed and she knows Jinsoul could probably see how wet she was, “is this weird that we’re doing this?” 

She knew she didn’t find it weird, but she wondered if Jinsoul did.

Her question is barely heard over their heavy breathing but Jinsoul replies after what seems like hours, “no I don’t think so?” Thankfully the blonde was into it just as much as she was. Sooyoung gets impatient and takes her bra off and waits for Jinsoul’s next move. She’s propped over Sooyoung, on her hands and knees. Her blonde hair is flowing down and tickling at Sooyoung’s skin. 

The girl below closes her eyes when Jinsoul starts to lean down. Sooyoung trembles when Jinsoul kisses her and lets her take the lead. It’s soft and more of just a distraction to calm them down. This is what they were used to, Jinsoul was familiar with Sooyoung’s lips. How she liked her bottom one to be sucked on, how she liked to tilt her head to the left, she liked it when it was sloppy. Breaking away to catch her breath she grunts out onto Sooyoung’s plump lips, “touch yourself.” Sooyoung nods and Jinsoul goes back to kissing her senselessly.

Following the demand Sooyoung drags a hand down to her pussy and her legs shoot together and squeeze Jinsoul’s leg that’s kneeled between her own when she dips her middle digit in between her folds. She can’t remember ever being this wet and it takes her a second to find her clit in the slipperiness. Once she does she moans onto Jinsoul’s lips, causing the girl to glance down. 

She rubs in slow circles feeling the little nub swell up from the continued pressure. Relief flows through her body the harder she presses down and she tries to keep her body stable from the sensitivity. Her legs jerk every time she hits a certain spot, there’s a soothing burn from her tummy all the way down her toes. Jinsoul is watching everything closely becoming obsessed with the way Sooyoung bit her lips and whimpered every time she stroked her clit. 

Working up a sweat and building the pleasure she stops when Jinsoul’s hand wraps around her wrist. “Can I see how wet you are?” Panic rises in Sooyoung’s chest once she realizes what position she was in. Jinsoul was watching her every move and she felt vulnerable. Sooyoung was confident in her body, and she was comfortable with Jinsoul since they’ve seen each other naked like this countless of times. But they’ve never been this close naked before doing something this intimate and she could feel the heat from the other girl.

Giving into the urge she reaches for the girl’s body but Jinsoul backs away, Sooyoung whines since she wanted to feel Jinsoul against her but the blonde was sitting onto the bed while spreading her legs. Sooyoung’s eyes widen at Jinsoul’s spread lips, it was amazing how the girl was perfect in every aspect. Even her pussy was pretty. “Come on Sooyoung…” 

She was distracted and looks up at Jinsoul’s smirk, “what?” 

“Show me?” Suddenly remembering the request she dips her fingers inside herself, moaning at the friction and quickly pulls back out sliding back up. Bringing her fingers up she spreads them and shows Jinsoul’s the stickiness that’s gathered there. 

The blonde knots her brows at the site and Sooyoung jerks her hand down to the sheets and wipes them off, embarrassed at the fact she just showed Jinsoul her arousal. “Does it taste good?” Sooyoung’s throat closes at the question, she doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. 

Instead she shrugs, “I dunno maybe you should try it yourself.” The blonde then starts to scoot towards her and throws her legs over Sooyoung. Jinsoul rolls her eyes while bringing her hands to massage at Sooyoung’s torso. She takes a deep breath feeling the soft hands drag across her skin and cup her tits, the inside on Jinsoul’s palms rubbing against her nipples.

Sooyoung leans her head back at the touches and soon her fingers find her clit again, she’s wetter this time. Probably from the fact that Jinsoul was looking at her like that, and that her nipples are being pulled by the girl. Or it could be that she was getting dangerously close. Her legs pinned to bed by Jinsoul’s own start to twitch and her toes curl up. 

Pressing her finger tips to her hole she reaches forward to grab the blonde’s throat. At first Jinsoul is shocked at the sudden aggression but her eyes roll to the back of her head when Sooyoung’s squeezes hard. The vibrations of Jinsoul’s moan against the palm of her hand drive her to push her middle fingers knuckle deep into herself and she instantly clenches around them.

Jinsoul had lowered her hands to her tummy and the slight pressure she was applying was bringing Sooyoung closer to the edge. But she only pumps her fingers in and out slowly, not wanting to cum just yet. She wanted to have more fun with Jinsoul, “you like watching me fuck myself?” Jinsoul’s eyes barely open and Sooyoung grips harder on the girl’s neck when she nods. 

One hand comes up to grab at her wrist and another sneaks even lower. Jinsoul is clawing into her hip bone. Thrusting her fingers in faster she opens her palm and starts to grind into her clit every time she pushes all the way in. Jinsoul finally brings her hand to her pussy and Sooyoung watches at the pretty fingers slip into wet folds. The blonde gasps when she touches her clit and tries to meet Sooyoung’s own pace.

Sooyoung watches Jinsoul play with herself just as the blonde was doing to her, the site making her lose her mind. Panting she releases Jinsoul’s throat and quickly grabs the girl’s thigh and spreads her legs even further apart. Jinsoul was still slightly rolling her clit between her fingers and every time she did her legs would tense and shake. Sooyoung licks her lips before asking, “Sensitive?”

“Yeah a little bit…”Jinsoul whimpers out while slowly bringing herself back to the edge. Sooyoung’s fingers were rough and they squeezed the flesh on her thighs just right. Sooyoung slips her own fingers out of herself and sucks them clean before grabbing the other thigh. She has to swallow when she sees Jinsoul’s hole twitch whenever the girl pressed down hard enough on her happy button..

Suddenly Sooyoung crawls out from underneath her and lays beside her bringing her down as well. The girl embracing her while taking a hand to keep her legs spread. 

Sooyoung kisses all over Jinsoul’s neck and jaw, hugging her close to her body as she continues to pleasure herself. She licks off the sweat around her ear and nibbles on the flesh there. Leaning up on her elbow she starts to pepper kisses over the girl’s collarbones and chest that was spotted red from the previous orgasm. 

Sooyoung strokes the girl’s sides soothingly wanting her to be as comfortable as possible, even if this round was supposed to be about her she couldn’t help but want to see Jinsoul pleasure herself more. The girl was too beautiful and to see her enjoy herself like this was good enough for Sooyoung. Wiping the sweat off her forehead she bends down to kiss it, pushing the hairs back so they weren’t sticking to Jinsoul’s skin.

Cradling the girl’s jaw she kisses her softly before whispering, “baby are you gonna cum for me?” Jinsoul suddenly stops playing with her nip nop and raises up. Sooyoung raises up as well and gives Jinsoul a questionable look to why she quit. The blonde’s breathing is strained and she grips at the sheets trying to calm herself down. She had almost came but a sudden idea popped in her head. She was almost two in but Sooyoung hadn’t came once.

“I want you to cum too.” Sooyoung’s lips form an O as Jinsoul rolls off the bed and waddles into her closet. Scratching her head in confusion she scoots to the edge of the bed and waits for the blonde to return. After too many seconds Sooyoung starts to stand up but Jinsoul finally busts out the closet with an item in hand almost tripping to the floor. Something that’s interesting to Sooyoung. 

A while back she found it herself, Jinsoul’s vibrator but this time the site of it made her even more excited. Begging the blonde to come back to bed the girl giggles and waddles back into Sooyoung’s arms. Jerking her by the hips she forces Jinsoul to climb on top of her and slides her hands up to wrap around her waist.

Smiling up she coos at the blonde, “awe you’re so thoughtful!” Jinsoul smiles and wiggles her head a bit at the compliment and squeaks when Sooyoung slaps her ass hard and repeatedly. “Now we can cum together.” Sooyoung slaps her ass again, making a clapping noise through the room, for good measures and tosses the girl back onto the bed. Grabbing the toy out of her hand she inspects it closely. “You’re flexible right?” She asks not even looking at the blonde.

“Y-yeah why?” Smiling to herself she sits the toy down and grips Jinsoul’s ankles spreading the girl’s legs up and wide. Shuddering at Jinsoul’s flexibility she says a silent prayer to god hoping she’ll be able to survive this. Crawling over top the girl she hovers over her a tiny bit and situates their bodies so that her pussy is right on top of Jinsoul’s.

Testing the angle out she rolls her hips a few times, sighing when she can feel Jinsoul’s swollen clit on her pussy. “Don’t freak out when I do this.” Jinsoul was really wet and so was Sooyoung but she wanted it to be like a slip n slide. So she brings her fingers to her mouth and spits on to them and reaches below to rub between them. Jinsoul gasps at the contact bringing her legs together to snap at Sooyoung’s waist at the sudden touch.

She shushes the girl and spreads her legs back open and smears the natural lubricant in with their arousal. Sooyoung blows through her nose at the feeling on Jinsoul’s pussy on her fingertips, she was dying to just dip them all the way in. The girl was so wet and Sooyoung wanted her hand covered in the juices.

Starting to roll her hip again she knows Jinsoul feels it more than her, the grind only bringing her a bit of pleasure. Sooyoung was good at these things and at this moment she wishes she had her strap so she could really fuck the girl underneath her as she deserved. 

The blonde is moaning quietly as if she remembered all of Chaewon’s friends that could be in the room across from them. Sooyoung could care less she wanted to hear Jinsoul. Bringing a hand up that was propping her up she grabs Jinsoul’s throat again, “feel good?” Jinsoul nods, the fat underneath her chin squishing against Sooyoung’s hand. She thought it was cute so she pinches it before falling down to her elbow. Jinsoul sighs at the slight connection of their bodies and wraps her arms around Sooyoung’s shoulders for support. 

Huffing Sooyoung reaches down and grabs the vibrator, “how you turn it on?”

Jinsoul is staring into her eyes, pleading for her to start already, or just do whatever she’s doing right now quicker, “the bottom there’s a switch, please hurry.”

Sooyoung smiles and turns the toy on, it begins to vibrate in her hand like crazy, “hmm this is neat…do you use it often.” 

The blonde groans and uses her knee to hit Sooyoung in the side, “Sooyoung if you don’t-.”

“Okay…okay! I’m sorry.” Jinsoul moans in relief when Sooyoung starts to slide the vibrator down between their bodies until it’s right to where they want it. Knotting her eyebrows together she sucks in air through her gritting teeth feeling the vibrations on her clit. Her hips buck without her control and Jinsoul starts to whine underneath her trying to pull her down even closer. 

Leaning her forehead down to rest on Jinsoul’s chest she loses herself to the feeling. Spreading her own legs more she gasps when the vibrator slides down more presses directly on her clit. She holds it in place with one hand and uses her other hand to hold herself up to not squish Jinsoul but the blonde ends up pulling her down on top of her anyway. Sooyoung continues to rock her hips, the vibrator sliding in between their lips as she does so.

Jinsoul’s legs shoot to her waist again and Sooyoung has to groan from the pain of her sides being hit but she’s soon distracted by the blonde’s rasped out words, “ _fuck I’m going cum_.” Biting down on the skin below her she holds Jinsoul in place who is trying to break free. She wasn’t close to being finished yet, so Jinsoul would have to wait and bear the overstimulation.

The girl is shaking underneath her like crazy and all Sooyoung can do is press her body down harder, trying to keep Jinsoul’s legs that were straightening out beneath her. Releasing the skin between her teeth she groans out, “ _stop squirming around…_ ” 

“ _I-I can’t Sooyoung it’s too much_ ,” She must have been talking about the painful pleasure now that came from all the attention on her clit. Sooyoung knew it would go away if the blonde would ride it out and she wasn’t about to get up. Although she didn’t want to exactly push Jinsoul too far.

Tilting her head up she asks for permission, “do you want me to stop?” Jinsoul is quiet except for the faint whimpers. Raising further up she searches for Jinsoul’s eyes which are tightly shut. The girl’s jaw is clenching and unclenching and finally, she opens her eyes. Sooyoung brings her hands up, forgetting about the stability of the vibrator and surprisingly is stays between them when she cups Jinsoul’s face. 

The blonde smiles, “hehe no I just missed you.” Sooyoung blinks at Jinsoul who was now laughing but suddenly winces out and moans. The girl moves a bit so that they’re back to that angle Sooyoung was loving. Squeezing on the blonde’s cheeks they puff up as she speaks, “but you better cum soon because this shit is starting to hurt.” Sooyoung would laugh but she’s too busy trying to not moan out from her slowly approaching orgasm. 

Nodding her head with a small giggle she starts to rock her hips to get even more friction. Jinsoul seems to notice her desperation and reaches down to hold the vibrator for her. Jinsoul angles it up more and Sooyoung chokes out a moan her head falling back down to rest on the blonde’s chest. Her hips are shaking with each passing second and she knows she’s barreling towards her release, she didn’t even have time to prepare for it like she wanted.

Her heels dig into the mattress as she rolls her hips forward, but when she arches her back that’s when she really feels it in her legs. Her skittle aching from all the vibrations, “ _shit that’s good...”_ Sooyoung can sense she’s starting to be overstimulated like Jinsoul was but she’s so close she doesn’t want it to end. It’s amazing but painful at the same time, but the pain makes her even more eager to cum. Jinsoul must have noticed it from the way she tensed but trembling at the same time and pulls the vibrator out.

Sooyoung releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding and slumps down. Jinsoul calms her down by softly massaging her back. She wasn’t even mad that Jinsoul practically was edging her because she was sure that the orgasm wouldn’t have been as satisfying as she wanted it to be. Sooyoung grumbles when Jinsoul starts to move underneath her. Did Jinsoul think she had already came?

But the question is soon answered when a thigh slips in-between her legs, “here, use me.” As soon as her pussy comes in contact with the soft skin of Jinsoul’s thigh she instantly grinds down and lets out a small moan. This was much better than the vibrator that was getting to be too much. But like this, she wouldn’t last long at all. Jinsoul gasps at the sensation on her thigh, “damn Soo you’re so wet.” 

Scoffing she raises up and claws into Jinsoul’s shoulders, “duh? Did you think it would be dry I’m horny Jinsoul I’ve almost came like three times.” The blonde seems amused at her attitude but she was getting a little impatient. Bringing her hips to a slow grind she whines at the friction on her clit. This was exactly what she wanted and she already felt the pressure building in her tummy, the burning sensation in her core was intense. 

Jinsoul, on the other hand, is enjoying the show. Sooyoung is whiny when Jinsoul would fantasize about the girl she thought that her moans would be deep and erotic like her normal voice. But this was even better, “you’re so whiny, does it feel that good baby?” Sooyoung grits her teeth at the tone, the fact that Jinsoul was babying her should piss her off but it was turning her on even more. Every time the blonde would call her baby in that sweet voice she swears her brain snaps a bit in the middle.

Sooyoung refuses to give Jinsoul the satisfaction so she only rides a bit faster. But Jinsoul doesn’t let it go, “Soo I asked you a question, does it feel good?” Jinsoul’s fingers are squeezing at her hips aggressively making it hard to keep her pace going. Her body was screaming to just let Jinsoul take over but the blonde’s words kept replaying in her mind. For whatever reason _, Jinsoul would never sleep with her._ Sooyoung knew that was a lie, she could tell from the first time Jinsoul had told her

Although they were basically having sex right now just not as intense as it would normally be, “Sh-shut up please.” Sooyoung didn’t dare to look up at the girl too afraid of what she’d find in those dark eyes. 

It’s like Jinsoul had read her mind though and one of the hands come up to grab at her chin making her look. Jinsoul’s gaze is alluring and it makes Sooyoung’s climax approach faster so she squeezes her eyes shut, “god you’re adorable.” Sooyoung hated how Jinsoul could control her like this, her feelings. She hates how she whines when Jinsoul’s thumb comes up to rub at her bottom lip. She hates how she can’t help but open her mouth to invite the girl’s fingers in sucking on them hard.

The girl’s fingertips pressing at her tongue and they quickly pull out when she bites down, “and so damn fine at the same time.” Jinsoul groans out, the site of Sooyoung sucking on her fingers had almost made her horny again but thankfully the two previous orgasms had pleased her well enough. Now all she was focused on was Sooyoung. Jinsoul often stared at Sooyoung’s body but now she had a full show. Her mouth watered at the girl’s abs and she couldn’t help but spread her hand across them and Sooyoung was so tiny her hand almost could stretch across her waist. 

With every stroke, she could feel them flex and she wondered how good they would feel if she was getting fucked by Sooyoung. Raising her head she starts to suck at Sooyoung’s collarbones smiling when she hears the girl’s vocal response. Jinsoul considered herself lucky to have Sooyoung like this. She never knew the girl could be so needy. She was clingy onto her much like she was however long that was ago.

She knew other girl’s had Sooyoung like this before but she selfishly told herself that they meant nothing to her best friend. Jinsoul knew she was special and she intended to keep that title. She was thankful because if she was just some other girl to Sooyoung she doesn’t know what she’d do. Jinsoul would probably end up doing what they all did.

She wouldn’t care to risk her heart for Sooyoung.

Cause just a fraction of her time meant a lifetime to Jinsoul and the blonde still hated herself for giving that up for nine years. Almost losing Sooyoung for good was her nightmare but now she was living in a dream. She had Sooyoung in the palm of her hands and she had full intentions of giving the girl everything she’s ever wanted in her life, she wanted to give Sooyoung everything, including herself. Jinsoul was not afraid of being broken like the rest of the girl’s. 

Sooyoung lays down on top of her and she moves her lips up to her neck so she can kiss there. The girl’s breathing is ragged against her ear and the movements of her hips are short and quick. Jinsoul winces when Sooyoung bites down on her shoulder to muffle out the scream. The girl’s legs go straight so Jinsoul tangles them with her own and holds her close. 

The girl above her then comes and she can even feel Sooyoung’s swollen clit throb on her skin. It gets wetter as Sooyoung lays there and rides through the waves. Jinsoul’s chest puffs out in pride at the fact that she made Sooyoung feel this good and cum this hard. And she wasn’t even experienced. Nor did anything to be honest.

Jinsoul knows she’ll never be like the other girls when Sooyoung starts to whimper out words she’s heard thousands of times before. _I love you…_

_I love you Jinsoul._

Giggling she squeezes the girl in her arms, “I love you too Sooyoung.” That’s what separates her from most people. Ha Sooyoung loved her. But it was no ordinary love. It was the kind you would never find with anyone else but the one you were meant to be with.

She waits for Sooyoung to fall back down from the high. Their bodies were starting to stick from sweat and Jinsoul could feel the cum on her leg. Finally, after several minutes Sooyoung raises up, looking giddy from the activities that just occurred. “You talk so much dork.” She matches Sooyoung’s energy, smiling with the girl above her. Raising her hand she tucks some hair behind Sooyoung’s ear.

“You don’t like it?” She asks and Sooyoung rolls her eyes.

But Jinsoul knows she’s teasing when she receives a sweet kiss, “no I love it.” She breaks the kiss since her smile is too wide. She sighs at the loss of warmth when Sooyoung starts to get up and raises her brow at how wet her thigh is.

She’s about to tell Sooyoung she’ll get a towel but the girl beats her to it. Jinsoul swears she could have came from the site alone. Sooyoung had bent down to lick at her leg, Jinsoul had never been jealous of the girl until now. Just when she thought it couldn’t get any better Sooyoung looks up at her through long eyelashes with her tongue still on her leg. Jinsoul says it half-jokingly, but she’s very serious, “stop I’ll get horny again.” 

Sooyoung licks at her lips, bringing her tongue back to her mouth. “You wanna taste?” Jinsoul doesn’t get to answer or more like she isn’t in the right mind to when Sooyoung dips her fingers back into herself and pulls out. Jinsoul lets her eyes hood over when Sooyoung grabs her jaw, “say ah.” Following the girl’s orders, she holds out her tongue and sighs when Sooyoung rubs her fingers on it.

Pulling her fingers out Jinsoul smacks her lips with her eyebrows knotted. Sooyoung waits patiently for the reaction. Jinsoul then raises her brows and nods her head, “oooh not bad.” Smacking the girl on the shoulder they both start to laugh, Sooyoung couldn’t stand how nonchalant the situation was, it made it safe. It was almost too easy, making it so much more desirable. How would she be able to control herself around Jinsoul now?

Especially when she was looking at her in that way, “so do you wanna taste me?” Jinsoul asks teasingly and it’s hard for Sooyoung to say no. But she knows she wouldn’t be able to go without more if she was to try it.

Tapping on her chin she pretends to think about it, “mmm no, I don’t like samples I want the whole meal.” Jinsoul gasps as Sooyoung tries to dive her head down but to her expectations, her head is pushed away from the blonde. Sooyoung wishes Jinsoul would give in, she knows she wanted to just a badly as she did.

Sooyoung wrestles with Jinsoul’s hands, the blonde holding her up superman style except without her legs. Leaning down she puckers her lips and of course the blonde struggles to kiss them. Sooyoung smiles hearing the tiny smooch sound and tilts her head to ask what she’s been wanting to know for several minutes, “so is this a one-time thing or…”

Jinsoul wanted to know that too and she was happy to express her opinion, “I liked it a lot so hmm I don’t know it’s up to you.”

Pushing Jinsoul’s hands to the side and drops her body back down loving how the girl feels against her, “yes god we’d be stupid if we didn’t.”

“Yeah? And why’s that?” Jinsoul hums throwing her arms back around Sooyoung as the girl lays her head against her chest to listen to the steady heartbeat.

Wiggling her hips a bit she answers truthfully, “because it was amazing.” Jinsoul is silent then and Sooyoung closes her eyes when she feels hands thread through her hair. “They say everything you like to do when you do it with your best friend it’s a thousand times better.” Sooyoung hadn’t came that hard in a while and all she did was ride Jinsoul’s thigh. While sometimes when she was getting fucked silly or vice versa she still wouldn’t cum to that intensity.

“Also it helps that you’re like the hottest girl I know.” Jinsoul groans and slaps her in the back a bit hard making the area sting a bit. But the comment was worth it.

Jinsoul rubs it soothingly for a silent apology and the next thing she asks makes Sooyoung a bit nervous, “we kinda had sex didn’t we…” Nodding her head against the girl’s chest she admits to it. They may have not been fucking each other but they had used each other for an orgasm. “Hmm, that’s kinda gay.” Sooyoung snorts and raises up to give Jinsoul a horrible look. “What? Your kitty cat was on my leg that’s a bit ya know.”

Sooyoung can’t believe what she’s hearing but she’s glad Jinsoul is not freaking out at the realization. Shaking her head she goes to get up, suddenly getting tired and wanting to do nothing but cuddle Jinsoul, “do you want shorts or pants?” Jinsoul whines and keeps her pinned to her body not letting her escape while chanting the word _no_ over and over again. “Let’s get ready for bed Jindori!”

Jinsoul slumps and pouts at her before a mischievous smile appears on her lips, “or we could just stay in bed and make out?” She blinks at the suggestion and it’s too hard to pass up. The next thing she knows she’s tangled up with Jinsoul sloppily smacking her lips against the girl’s, humming every time Jinsoul moans into her mouth. She’s also trying to calm the rapid beating of her heart. 

That became more painful every time she kissed the girl she was in love with. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okey um hehe no one look at me…

I think I will be taking a break from writing after this, maybe forever or maybe just a month but we will see. I hate this chapter but I hope everyone enjoys it! Thx so much MUAH XOXO


	17. Chapter 17

She had fucked up her eyeliner...again. Sooyoung stares at her reflection, not satisfied with the results at all. Although she could blame it on the fact that she was a bit tipsy or was just bad at doing makeup. She wanted to blame it on Jinsoul’s hands creeping up under her shirt.

 _Yes_ , Sooyoung was sitting on her lap as she was doing her makeup but it was chill she was closer to the mirror like this. Jinsoul’s lap was comfortable, her body was warm and her hands were really soft. So yeah, Sooyoung was relaxed right now, but the fact she couldn’t draw a straight line was doing everything but calming her down.

Puffing up she smudges the line with the bottom of her palm. Jinsoul whines as she does so, starting to get tired of Sooyoung’s need for perfection. Sooyoung leans back into the girl’s embrace and Jinsoul holds her closer, pressing her cheek up against Sooyoung’s arm.

 _God she’s such a baby_.

Sooyoung was happy, very happy at this moment. She had only a t-shirt on...Jinsoul’s t-shirt that smelled strongly of coconuts. Putting down the eyeliner she lays her hands over Jinsoul’s and pulls them out of the shirt.

“Nooo it’s warm under there!” Sooyoung closes her eyes since her smiles takes up her whole face. She doesn’t fight it when Jinsoul’s hands sneak back up and rest of her waist rubbing around at her tummy. It felt too good for her to push away. So she just lets the swirling pools of giddiness consume her.

Opening her eyes to look at Jinsoul’s reflection in the mirror her heart does a backflip. Jinsoul’s face was squished against her. The blonde’s eyes soft and focused right on her. Jinsoul rocks them back and forth in the chair and Sooyoung relaxes fully in her embrace.

Sooyoung took everything with a sense of gratitude now, since years ago Jinsoul would have given her 1% of the attention. Now she was getting all the attention in the world and loving it.

She doesn’t understand what switched between them. But she wasn’t going to question it. What made Jinsoul change her mind, why she was so loving again, well she was even _more_ loving now than when they were just kids.

Sooyoung had asked plenty of times. What exactly happened all those years ago but Jinsoul would shake her head. _Does it even matter? When we’re together now?_ It did, to because it was her heart break. But she was willing to be patient with the girl.

She didn’t want to ruin the thing they had right now. Sooyoung was getting addicted to Jinsoul’s sweetness for the tenth time in her life. It was just _so_ hard not to get attached and crave Jinsoul’s love. The blonde was so good at giving it, Sooyoung would die if someone knew she liked being babied because it would ruin her chic reputation at school, but she’d also die if Jinsoul were to stop doing it.

Jinsoul was always affectionate but now Sooyoung was being touched...very intimately and they had done very intimate things. It gave Sooyoung a feeling she’s never had before, something no one has ever given.

Tonight she has an idea. How to get more of what she experienced almost 2 weeks ago. At practice she couldn’t focus, Jinsoul’s smile reminded her how good her lips felt on hers. Sooyoung almost blew a game because she couldn’t take her eyes off Jinsoul.

She couldn’t even talk to other girls even though they were all up on her. It was all Jinsoul...Sooyoung had never been this bad after her.

Sooyoung was determined to make Jinsoul hers and not let her go. The blonde however, stopped kissing her and refused to give into her desires. Sooyoung had tried some but they had all failed. She still got her cuddles and such, because Jinsoul wanted those just as bad as her.

Tonight they were going out. Clubbing with a friend of Jinsoul’s named Jungwoo. Their friends Bang and Jinyoung were really suspicious so they lowkey had cut ties with them. Jungwoo was sweet and a bit empty headed and he invited them out to go clubbing.

Her plan was to seduce Jinsoul, of course after she shows the blonde some fun. Sooyoung knows Jinsoul couldn’t hold back that long and if she was going off the previous club experience she had lots of hope. Jinsoul was very eager to kiss her last time in the club and Sooyoung can remember the desperation and how much it turned her on.

_Sooyoung had attempted before, like after practice she grabbed at Jinsoul’s thighs as she leaned over kissing over the girl’s jawline. The blonde allowed it for a little bit but as soon as she swerved off the rode Sooyoung was smacked off._

All of her attempts to initiate something fell short like this. Her squeezing on whatever part of Jinsoul she could find and ghosting her lips over the blonde’s sensitive spots such as her ears and neck. Jinsoul would visibly get worked up but end up fighting it. Sooyoung didn’t mind but she at least wanted a kiss.

Turning her head she’s met with Jinsoul’s eyes already on her, “you’re beautiful you don’t need any of that makeup.” If it was anyone else saying that to her she would slap them upside the head. But since it was Jinsoul she was shyly ducking into the crook of her neck.

She turns in Jinsoul’s lap and wraps her hands around the girl’s shoulders only covered in a sport bra. Sooyoung hates corny people but she loved when Jinsoul was. “Shut up…” Jinsoul’s finger tips tickled at her spin and she can almost fall asleep in the girl’s arms.

Even if she wanted to just retreat to the bed and fall asleep entangled in Jinsoul’s limbs, she had a mission and a fat blunt calling her name. “Let’s smoke,” Jinsoul pushes her off giving her a glare. “What?”

“I told you no more smoking! I’ll lose my voice and Luna gonna kick me out of choir!” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and slips out of Jinsoul’s lap, the ghost of her touch still burning on her tummy. Jinsoul said she wasn’t smoking anymore for the maintenance of her voice but Sooyoung didn’t care.

She wanted to smoke Jinsoul out.

“Luna this Luna that baby you got the voice of an angel you won’t lose it over a little blunt.” Jinsoul raises her brow at the word _little_ because that was the opposite word to describe what was in Sooyoung’s hand. Ignoring the glare she bakes the blunt before putting it in here mouth.

Her comment must have convinced Jinsoul because the blonde was taking hit after hit. Sooyoung could hardly keep up.

Somehow the high allowed her to beat her face. She had no trouble doing her eyeliner now. Turning to Jinsoul when she’s done she asks, “would you fuck?” Jinsoul is off her rocker, literally since she was swaying back and forth in the seat.

“Say wha?” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and starts to mess with her hair, trying to ignore Jinsoul’s hand rubbing at the back of her thigh. She has to pinch her legs together because Jinsoul tries to shoot her hand between them and Sooyoung kinda wanted to go to the club before she seduced Jinsoul, but it was starting to get hard…”oh yeah...yeah I would...maybe like a lot or whatever.”

Jinsoul starts to giggle then and she gets a little more handsy and Sooyoung gets the jello knees when one of them clench onto her ass cheek, “tee hee!” She slaps the hand away, although she wanted it there. More than she’d ever let Jinsoul go and points in her face.

“Stop giggling and shit you sound like a teletubby,” Jinsoul only cracks up harder and slaps on her own knee. Sooyoung shakes her head and goes back to curling her hair only to squeal when she feels a slight pain in her thigh. Jinsoul had bitten her for reasons unknown, “leave me ‘lone!”

It’s quiet for a moment, “Sooyoung say pussy.”

“Why?”

She sits the curling iron down and rests her fists on her hips, “I like the way you say it, your lips pop.” Jinsoul emphasizes by popping her own lips.

Sooyoung shakes her head, “fine...pussy.” Jinsoul claps like an idiot and squeals. Begging her to say it again. Sooyoung only finishes getting ready ignoring the girl.

“You’re a little weird Jinsoul,” she whispers out and picks up the blunt again to take a hit.

Jinsoul only hugs her legs to her body, “you know you like it Sooyoung.”

_You don’t know how much I like it Jinsoul._

“Hit this goofy,” Jinsoul makes some sort of baby noise as she takes the blunt out of Sooyoung’s hand. The older girl blushes because it’s too cute to handle.

Jinsoul sucks on the blunt hard and it makes Sooyoung’s tummy tingle. Jinsoul hands back the blunt and even if it was sexy watching the girl take a hit, the tip of it was soggy, “nasty ass you got the tip wet!”

Sooyoung wipes it off with her fingers not as mad as she sounded and becomes interested in what Jinsoul says, “Sorry my mouth is hella numb so it’s just doing whatever in there.”

“What that mouth do?” Sooyoung gets a questionable look in response. The blonde could be confused or simply didn’t understand what Sooyoung was saying, “I’m asking if you’d give me head.”

Jinsoul opens her mouth then, the one that Sooyoung was imagining on her lips and inside her. But Jinsoul is clearly not having it, “Shut up! I told you we ain’t doing that gay shit anymore.”

“It ain’t gay if you keep the socks on.”

About to continue her rant that Sooyoung has heard before. _‘We’re best friends, we can’t be homos at the same time, it would create a rift in the universe’._ Jinsoul stops to consider it, “wait...what?” Sooyoung wonders what the problem was. Could Jinsoul not be gay? Did she not want to be? Was she only testing the waters with her?

“Seriously! If we keep our socks on while you let me freak it I swear it won’t be on some homo shit on god.” Sooyoung doesn’t know how she keeps a straight face while saying it. It’s even harder when Jinsoul nods like she’s come to realization. There was nothing they could really do to make it less gay.

“For real?”

“Deadass.”

Jinsoul stares at her like she’s considering it for a moment. Sooyoung almost starts to shake, “you tripping gimme that fucking swisha.” Sooyoung’s shoulders slump in defeat. She almost convinced Jinsoul then.

Trying to distract herself she gets on her instagram and posts a story of her and Jinsoul passing the blunt and captioning it, _ayo we got the gassss_. Sooyoung is still a little upset at her being turned down once again but instead of asking Jinsoul why they couldn’t do that anymore...even if Jinsoul had said they would, she would just accept it.

Sooyoung strips and tapes her nipples, she still had Jinyoung’s mesh shirt and Jinsoul said she looked fine in it so she was wearing it again. Jinsoul is throwing on some fishnet stockings as she pulls on her orange camo pants. She can barely tie her platform boots as Jinsoul slides on a tube top that barely covers her tits and ripped jeans that showed the fishnets under. The stocking came up all the way to her waist and Sooyoung was staring at the girl’s abs.

“Jungwoo at the door you ready?” Sooyoung smiles and heads over to Jinsoul who was looking way too fine. She situates her hand on the small of her back and nods.

_She was more than ready…_

_~~~~~~~~_

“Yassss shots!” They all throwback shots of tequila, by all, Sooyoung means her, Jinsoul and Jungwoo. Also some guy named Doyoung who was with Jungwoo. Sooyoung was pretty sure they were bumping uglies by the way Jungwoo kept smiling at the taller boy. 

Jungwoo was really something, Sooyoung had been laughing the entire night at the boy’s weird remarks and his empty stares. Jinsoul was on the track of getting wasted and Sooyoung thought it was time to slow her down, “let’s go dance Jindori.” The blonde burped which only made Sooyoung smile a bit more.

They wobble out onto the dance floor where it was bumping to the oldies. Awkwardness ensues and they sway side to side in front of each other. Sooyoung feels a tad bit uncomfortable since the alcohol hasn’t hit her and Jinsoul seems in the same boat. She nods at Jinsoul and the blonde does the same giving her a small smile.

“Are you having fun!” 

“HUH?” Sooyoung cringes at Jinsoul yelling over the music. It was really hard to hear over the music but for some reason she couldn’t bring herself closer to Jinsoul. How she could cum on the girl’s thigh with no hesitation but now couldn’t dance a foot away from her was blowing her. Sooyoung shakes her head and keeps dancing.

Jungwoo was dancing too but he was really into it and dragging Doyoung all over the place. Watching the boy’s hair shake in the strobe lights she excuses herself to go back to the bar. Jinsoul lets her go with a sad stare but continues to dance, eventually joining Jungwoo and Doyoung. 

Sooyoung sighs and walks up to the bar, this night was not successful so far. Her nerves were getting the better of her and she was ruining the whole vibe. Any other girl she would have been able to get her into puddy in the matter of minutes. But with Jinsoul it was the opposite, she was the one feeling like puddy.

Tapping on the bar she tries to wave towards the bartender but it’s so crowded she can’t even get noticed. “Ridiculous right?” Sooyoung recognizes the voice and turns. Her mouth drops a bit when she sees Kyungri smiling at her shyly. Pushing herself off the bar she turns toward the girl. “You look gorgeous tonight, I wouldn’t mind taking you home.”

Months ago it would have effected Sooyoung, but all she could think about Jinsoul still on the dancefloor. “How’s the girlfriend?” Kyungri visibly melts at the question and a frown drops her cheeks. Wrong question Sooyoung guesses.

“She’s got a new bitch,” Kyungri messes with an empty glass.

“Tough.” 

Sooyoung isn’t really interested in being a rebound again. “What’s up with you? Things alright with Blondie?” 

She looks out into the crowd but can’t spot blonde hair. “It’s going…” Kyungri understands the situation just by the look on Sooyoung’s face. She was stuck right now, wanting to move forward with Jinsoul but she didn’t know how.

It was like she needed this little push…just something to, “BIG FREEDIA!!!”

Sooyoung jumps at the loud voice on the mic, people start to scream and jump around. Standing on one of the bar stools she looks over the crowd and gasps at the person on the stage. Jinsoul was standing on stage with Jungwoo, they were next to Big Freedia…

“WHAT’S BIG FREEDIA DOING IN SOUTH CAREER?” She overheard someone scream.

Big Freedia is next to the dj and there’s a line of people on stage, “how y’all feeling tonight!” Everyone screams and heads toward the stage. Sooyoung doesn’t even say bye to Kyungri as she rushes towards Jinsoul who looked a little nervous.

“We ‘bout to shake some ass!” Sooyoung pushes her way to the front so she can scream for Jinsoul, whatever she about to do. Big Freedia makes her way over to Jinsoul and Jungwoo who were more towards the center, the spotlight right on their faces. Jinsoul was about to stroke out and Jungwoo was smiling with his eyes wide. “What you know about new Orleans bounce baby?” 

The mic is shoved in Jinsoul’s face, “I um…I like trampolines and balls.” Sooyoung chokes out a laugh and Jinsoul finally finds her in the crowd. Sooyoung throws a thumbs up at her.

Big Freedia turns towards the dj and then back to Jinsoul, “you a lil slow?” Jinsoul smiles and nods, not fully understanding. Big Freedia smiles and shakes her head, “something up with this lil girl!” The dj makes a scratching sound as Jungwoo is met with the mic.

The blonde headed boy smiles and leans over, “no thoughts on the topic!” Big Freedia whips her head around towards the crowd. The Dj plays some air horns.

Big Freedia shakes her head, “GIRLS DOWN!” Suddenly there’s a bunch of ad libs and a building beat. Some of the other people on the stage bend down and start to shake their ass and Jinsoul and Jungwoo stand there with their hands behind their backs.

The woman on stage seems to get tired of the blondes and walks up to them, “SHAKE FO THE MONEY!” 

Sooyoung waves towards Jinsoul, the blonde looks at her with confusion. “You gotta shake ya butt!” Jinsoul nods her head and gets down. At first it’s off rhythm but the more the yelling and cheering that goes on Jinsoul gets better.

 _It’s a little too good_.

Amazed that Jinsoul can actually throw ass Sooyoung lets her jaw drop. She can only hope she doesn’t start drooling. _Sweet mother of pearl_. Big Freedia notices too and quickly makes her way over to Jinsoul. The blonde is swaying her hips like crazy and popping her ass out as if her life depended on it. Sooyoung is trying to not pay attention to fact she’s getting horny as hell and instead cheers Jinsoul on, “THAT’S MY BESTFRIEND!!! I’M HER BESTFRIEND GO BESTIE!” 

Jungwoo is doing god knows what while Jinsoul is killing it on stage, dropping it low and holding her arms up. Sooyoung wanted to feel how that back dipped and that ass shook. But she would wait until the little contest was over. Jinsoul was eating it up, loving the attention she was getting from the crowd…especially Sooyoung. 

The twerk contest is finally over and the winner is of course Jinsoul. She had gotten free drinks for the night for the win and as she stepped down off the stage holding Jungwoo’s hand she walks up to Sooyoung, the sweat dripping down her body. “Sooyoung did you see me!” She nods, everyone had seen Jinsoul and they were all still staring at her and whistling. 

Suddenly she gets a little possessive, “of course I did, my eyes never left you.” Jinsoul’s smile drops at Sooyoung’s suggestive tone, somehow the already stuffy club gets more suffocating. Sooyoung knew that Jinsoul was hers and she wasn’t letting anyone else have her. The blonde squeaks and grabs onto her shoulders when she smacks her ass hard enough for nearby people to hear. 

The night that Sooyoung thought was going to go slow quickly picks up and an hour later with Big Freedia still bumping on stage. Sooyoung hadn’t let Jinsoul leave her side the whole night afraid someone would try to hit on her or snatch her up in a dance. Sooyoung clinged onto the girl but Jinsoul didn’t mind at all, if anything she enjoyed it. 

Now Sooyoung had a drink in one hand and another on Jinsoul’s hip as they danced together. Jinsoul ass was against her hips and the girl was bent over still swerving around driving Sooyoung nuts. Jinsoul raises up and throws her arms behind her and around Sooyoung’s neck. She’s incredibly drunk and Sooyoung is getting to that point too, they were pretty much fucking on the dance floor. Jinsoul wiggles her hips side to side, rubbing her badonk right against Sooyoung, “you love this fat ass!?” 

“Yes indeed!” 

If Sooyoung wasn’t so under the influence she probably would have passed out, “you know you wanna smack it!” Jinsoul touches her toes and Sooyoung follows orders and slams her hand down on the blonde’s jean-clad cheeks.

Jungwoo is next to them doing almost the same thing with Doyoung except not as extreme, “you a little gay together?” Sooyoung mouths a yes and Jinsoul starts to have a crisis. Sooyoung’s hand was still on her ass squeezing hard. She remembers where she is and who could be in her watching them. Sooyoung groans when Jinsoul backs away from her and starts to dance.

Pouting up she finishes her drink, “what’s up baby why’d you move away!”

Jinsoul finds it difficult to resist Sooyoung’s pout and misses the way her hands held her, “I’m like hot!”

“Damn right you are!” She’s really sad but the paranoia gets to her. 

Till they leave the club they dance apart but still crave each other’s touch. Sooyoung was full of energy and was longing for Jinsoul, she wasn’t for sure she could seduce her. At this point she was about to start begging for the pussy.

Sooyoung laughs at the image in her head, her on her hands and knees for Jinsoul. She really would do anything for the girl at this point. Her heart was aching and so was her coochie. She wanted Jinsoul more than ever physically and emotionally but the girl was playing. Sooyoung doesn’t know if it’s the liquid encouragement but she knew this feeling couldn’t be one sided. 

After some serious thinking it’s finally time to go, Sooyoung isn’t as drunk as before and she follows Jinsoul home with a straight walk. Her mind is running wild, she was feeling so needy right now. Swinging her hand forward she interlaces her fingers with Jinsoul’s. The blonde stumbles a bit but holds her hand tighter. 

_I’m so in love with you…but I don’t know what to do_.

Sooyoung had known this girl all her life and she wanted to know her for the rest of her life as well. Never had she imagined she would feel this much for one person, to love someone this much. When she was little and didn’t have developed feelings for Jinsoul yet she would scrunch her nose at her father’s words. 

_You’ll find someone who will push and pull you like the moon does the ocean._

She didn’t understand back then but she did now. It was only fun with Jinsoul and she didn’t know what to do when she had brushed her off all those years ago. Sooyoung went stiff, she went cold and felt frozen.

_Someday you’ll find your moon._

She was always fascinated with the ocean and Jinsoul was always enamored with the moon. Funny how they were each other’s opposite fascination. Sooyoung was flowing with joy now, it was something calm with no troubled waters. She didn’t want to just seduce Jinsoul anymore, she wanted to confess. 

Sooyoung realized there was nothing to do. Love rules you…not the other way around.

All you can is fight for it and hopes it works out in your favor. And if it does? 

Sooyoung would consider herself the luckiest girl in the world. Her best friend…the love of her life. She wanted to live old with this girl, she wanted have the house and come home to talk about your day kinda love, she wanted to have babies. 

If she had to though, she’d wait all her life for Jinsoul. That’s what she’s been doing anyways right?

Soon enough they’re home, after a cab ride and a staring contest in the backseat. Sooyoung knew exactly what she wanted, how she wished she knew what Jinsoul wanted. Sooyoung noticed that Jinsoul always did what others wanted her to do. Jinsoul took a leap of faith to dodge med school that her father wanted her to do. Sooyoung wonders if she was a leap of faith to Jinsoul.

She’s watching Jinsoul through the mirror, her hands twitching to touch the girl who’s taking her makeup off. Jinsoul smiles at her through the reflection, “hey cutie.” Sooyoung smiles back, it was so easy with Jinsoul sometimes, but other times Jinsoul made it so hard. 

“Hey beautiful,” Jinsoul shakes her head and whines. Sooyoung didn’t understand, how Jinsoul couldn’t see it or why she’d get embarrassed. Stepping behind the girl she wraps her arms around her waist, planting her palms flat against her body. Jinsoul takes a deep breath at Sooyoung’s warm hands and the older girl can feel the tremble against them. 

Sooyoung starts to leave hot kisses over Jinsoul’s exposed shoulder and neck, the blonde leaning back into her and covering her hands with her own. Sooyoung holds onto her tight, still maintaining eye contact through the mirror. Sooyoung doesn’t know which was stronger, the throbbing between her thighs or the beat of her heart. 

She’s never felt something like this turned on. It was way more paralyzing. Like her body would shut down at any second and the only thing keeping her alive was Jinsoul’s touch. Plenty of people have showed her lust and greed for pleasure. Sooyoung has experience that a lot throughout the years with countless girls. But the only person that’s showed her desire was Jinsoul.

She’s never had her heart in it like this. 

“It’s still early…” Jinsoul smiles at her and leans her head next to hers.

Sooyoung nibbles on the edge of her jaw still staring into Jinsoul’s eyes, “I know, we won’t be so tired when we get up in the morning.” That wasn’t on her mind at all…sleep was the furthest thing from what she wanted right now.

Sliding her hands lower Jinsoul squirms underneath her touch. Sooyoung brings her lips to Jinsoul’s ear, dragging them against the skin on her jaw, “I wasn’t thinking about sleeping.” Sooyoung pushes the girl girl up against the counter, she can feel her heart pound up against Jinsoul’s back since she’s so close to her. She groans when Jinsoul pushes back, igniting the fire in her tummy that runs all the way down her legs.

She bites the inside her check to not grind up against the blonde. It takes everything in her to not move a muscle. Jinsoul gasps however and turns in her arms. Sooyoung pouts when she sees the slight irritation in Jinsoul’s eyes. 

“Stop being a perv and clean up!” Sooyoung shakes her head no and Jinsoul seems to fighting something. Was this really that irritating to Jinsoul? The blonde pushes her off further and throws her head back. Sooyoung tries to get closer but Jinsoul holds her off by pressing on her chest. Jinsoul starts to laugh when Sooyoung bounces on her feet, throwing a little temper tantrum because she wasn’t getting what she wanted. “God you’re so annoying.”

Jinsoul shakes her head at Sooyoung’s shocked expression and hops up on the bathroom counter. Sooyoung is barely touching Jinsoul now, afraid that she’s gone too far until Jinsoul is pulling her by the back of her neck towards her, “come her baby.” Sooyoung closes her eyes when Jinsoul kisses her softly, their lips make a small noise that has Sooyoung’s toes curling in her socks. “You make it so hard you know…” 

She doesn’t understand at all but she opens her eyes and figures it out. Jinsoul is looking right through her, “is that all you want from me? Is my body?”

Sooyoung quickly shakes her head, Jinsoul’s hands still cradling her jaw, “of course not, it’s just I haven’t had any in forever and you had me feeling some type of way when we was dancing an-“ She’s cut off by another kiss. It’s slow and heavy something that has Sooyoung losing her breath. She doesn’t open her eyes this time, “I…I can’t stop thinking about it Jinsoul.” 

“Don’t you think about it?” 

Jinsoul doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t answer the question. If Sooyoung were to open her eyes she would see how blown Jinsoul’s eyes were, how shallow her breath was coming out of her parted lips. The silence is making her think too much so she starts to drunkenly ramble, “You’re so special to me Jinsoul, I love everything about you and I can’t stop thinking about how much I want you.” Sooyoung swallows the anxiety down her throat. She almost can’t do it as tears build in her eyes.

It feels like someone’s hand is wrapped around her airway, “I feel so lucky to even be able to talk to you, I was so scared that I would never be able to be with you.” Goosebumps rise on her neck as Jinsoul tickles the skin there with her fingertips, reminding her she was there and listening. “I’m not drunk…I want to make you feel good, I…want everything Jinsoul.” 

“You’re my world can I show you that?” 

_Can I make love to you?_

Sooyoung wanted to take care of Jinsoul in every way but she wanted to start it off by showing how much she loved her. She appreciated everything about Jinsoul, she was so thankful for her. She was in feelings tonight. Jinsoul had gasped at the question and Sooyoung squeezed her eyes shut. “Sooyoung, open your eyes.” She doesn’t and Jinsoul kisses her making her open them.

Jinsoul’s eyes are glossy and there’s tears running down her cheeks, “you mean it don’t you? You meant every word you just said?” Sooyoung nods, slow enough for Jinsoul to take it all in and not become overwhelmed.

It was a lot, for so many years Sooyoung’s had this buried. Of course something like this would change everything between them. They had been friends for almost seventeen years. Jinsoul is looking at her with so much adoration. Sooyoung has seen the same look before. It was something like love. 

“How long Sooyoung.” 

At first she doesn’t want to answer instead of saying _since our first kiss_. _Since then I’ve wanted nothing more than to be by your side forever. But then you pushed me away, my nightmare became true. Now it feels alright, I think we’re going to be just fine._ Sooyoung knows it must have been a strong attachment for her to hold on to Jinsoul after all these years. How she didn’t give up on Jinsoul despite the differences.

“I was going to tell you when we were fourteen.” Sooyoung doesn’t expect anything. But she doesn’t expect Jinsoul to break down into a sob. 

Sooyoung, unsure what to do, only holds Jinsoul close to her. The girl clings to her like a koala, her whole body trembling. “I’m sorry…I d-.”

“ _No,”_ Jinsoul chokes out. Sooyoung doesn’t know how long it takes but Jinsoul finally stops crying. Sooyoung isn’t for what she said that made Jinsoul so upset. She can only hopes the blonde feels the same way. 

She doesn’t worry too much about it when Jinsoul helps her clean up, still trying to choke out the sobs breaking loose from her chest. The blonde was hurting, for unknown reasons. She was sober by the time they had gotten into bed. Neither of them have had said anything since the bathroom, but Jinsoul had a hold of her hand, slowly stroking her thumb across the back of it.

“Sooyoung I love you.” She turns her gaze to the blonde whose hair was still soaking wet from the shower they took. Of course Sooyoung respected Jinsoul and had her back turned but it took everything when she started to cry again. Jinsoul is staring at the floor, while Sooyoung felt relieved and almost giddy. Jinsoul looked broken, and it started to break Sooyoung too.

_“I love you so much.”_

Jinsoul closes her eyes when Sooyoung doesn’t say it back. But she doesn’t have to because she’s already poured her heart out. Sooyoung had no secrets between them, but Jinsoul had kept so much from her. She still had to explain things but the tightness in her chest wasn’t allowing her too.

She so badly wanted Sooyoung the same. But if she wasn’t careful she would ruin it all. 

Jinsoul almost couldn’t take it anymore. 

Sooyoung understood her in that moment however and reached over to pull her close. Jinsoul melted in the embrace. _I want to build a life with you but how can I when other people want to build my life for me._ The communication was unspoken, Sooyoung somehow knew what Jinsoul was feeling and Jinsoul knew exactly what Sooyoung had felt.

Sooyoung had waited for her. No matter how much she pushed her away and told her she could care less. She still cared enough to stay strong for them and now Jinsoul sobbed into her chest. She wanted to start the rest of her life with Sooyoung now. She wanted forever to start now.

In the darkness Jinsoul finds comfort, because it’s only her and Sooyoung. She doesn’t know what tomorrow will bring when they’re both sober. 

“Thank you for telling me Sooyoung,” It’s muffled against the girl’s chest and Jinsoul can hardly breath, but Sooyoung smells so good and she’s so warm. It grounds her from the panic attack that was close to breaking. 

Sooyoung kisses the top of her head, “I don’t think I needed to tell you.” Jinsoul couldn’t tell her she was right. She knew Sooyoung had feelings but hearing it made it so much realer. It made her feelings stronger because now all she wanted to do is drown in them, to give Sooyoung what she deserved. “I can’t believe I did though…I was only a little horny.” Jinsoul snorts and grimaces when she accidently blows some snot on Sooyoung’s shirt…or really it was her shirt. 

Jinsoul sighs and let’s herself suffocate in Sooyoung’s tight hold. All her life she’s been told what to do, where to be and who to be with. If she didn’t do what she was told then she would be a failure.

This felt quite the opposite of failure…this was nothing but success.

Sooyoung was who she wanted to be with, Sooyoung’s arms was where she wanted to be. This is what she wanted to do. 

“God I feel crazy right now Jinsoul after all this time.” Sooyoung was so happy, she had finally gotten it off her chest. She didn’t have to pretend anymore. She didn’t have to excuse her feelings. “For so long I convinced myself I didn’t want you like that, maybe it would be better if we was just friends.” Jinsoul remains silent, listening to Sooyoung’s slow heart beat pick up its pace. “I didn’t know how to act around you, I tried to hate you at one point but I couldn’t I still thought about you all the time.” 

Jinsoul slips her leg between Sooyoung’s and sneaks her hands up her shirt to touch the hot skin there. “And one day you just wanted to be friends again…after you broke my nose.” Sooyoung giggles when she feels the vibration of a groan against her chest. She was on top of the world right now and she wanted to let everyone know just how good she felt being with Jung Jinsoul, “you spun me around, I didn’t know what to think for the longest time until I finally just gave in.”

“I just let you…I, Jinsoul you don’t know how good you make me feel.” Sooyoung smiles at all the memories, from long ago to recently. “You don’t know how much it hurt either when...” It’s no longer a bitter thought, but more of a lesson. Something she will never allow herself to go through again. “I thought we couldn’t be friends again.” 

But Jinsoul had preserved and pierced her heart again. 

Now she was in love. 

So deeply she doesn’t know if she could dig herself out if she needed to. Sooyoung only hopes she doesn’t have to, “when we kissed in the garden that one day I knew I had never stopped loving you.” Sooyoung recalls the kiss, and the times before that when she kept pushing Jinsoul away. How hard the blonde tried making things right between them and finally succeeding. 

It wouldn’t have changed things if Sooyoung had moved on. But how could she ever move on. 

Jinsoul silently cries, Sooyoung was perfect. Too perfect for her. The girl was so genuine it broke her heart. She hated herself for what she had done to Sooyoung. After putting her through the emotional torture and having her comeback to her in such a short time. Jinsoul didn’t deserve it. She didn’t deserve Sooyoung. 

It was her turn now.

Jinsoul’s turn to pour her heart out.

But instead, like Sooyoung who had told her, Jinsoul would show her.

 _She would show her everything_.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Don’t get too comfortable ahaha…hope this chapter is alright and everyone enjoys. Lots of Love muah


	18. Want

The voices are a low murmur to Jinsoul. She twirls her drink in her hand. Across the table sits Lucas, Jackson, Joy, and Yeri. She was waiting for her fiancé of course, who was late. It wasn’t a surprise to Jinsoul. She didn’t really care however. 

For many years she’s tried to convince herself that she loved him. It was pointless though. She never loved him from the start. He was just the easy way out. The way she would be happy without hurting anyone. It didn’t include Sooyoung however. 

Jinsoul frowns, Sooyoung may have been hurt in the end. But it was all she could do. Jinsoul had to let her go, she couldn’t hurt the girl that much and her family in the process. But now, the same overwhelming feeling was threatening her. She was stuck.

Jinsoul really hated her parents.

They dictated her life. Forced her to do things she didn’t want to. Just to leave her alone in the end. Chaewon was stronger than her, and although the blonde had been kicked out of the house and cut from allowance. Chaewon was sneaky and still stayed in the house when they weren’t there. _Because they were never there._ Somehow she still made a living.

No one knew their situation. How if they would disobey their parents they would be cut off. Well Jinsoul had a lot more consequences than that. Her heart aches at the thought of losing _everything._

She flips her phone around. A picture of her and Sooyoung laying on the beach. Jinsoul was leaned over kissing the girl on the cheek. Sooyoung’s eyes closed since her smile was so wide, making her bunny teeth poke out. Jinsoul presses her hand to her chest.

The table shakes as three people shove in beside her. The smell of whisky invades her senses and a strong arm wraps around her shoulder. “Hey pretty baby.” Jinsoul wants to throw up when Kwon kisses her with an open mouth. No one’s kisses compared to Sooyoung’s but Jinsoul played the game and kissed back. 

This was easy for her. Pretend to love Kwon and go out on these dates with him. Sex was easy to avoid, telling him that she was waiting for their marriage. He believed her for the most part. But that didn’t stop him from sleeping with other people. It didn’t stop her from being in love with Sooyoung.

Except it wasn’t that easy.

“Hi Jinsoul oh my god!” Jinsoul’s ice runs cold at Doyeon’s voice. Leaning over her mouth drops wide. It’s not only Doyeon. But Haseul as well, each of them having an evil smile on their face. Jinsoul nods as a greeting and leans back into the booth. _She knows, Haseul knows._ Which was trouble. Because Haseul was in love with Sooyoung as well.

And she would do anything to be with her.

That included sabotaging Jinsoul. 

Doyeon knew her secrets by accident, but the girl never had intentions of telling her parents. But Haseul did, she wanted to ruin her and Doyeon loved the drama. Doyeon also hated Sooyoung.

Jinsoul goes numb in her seat as the table continues to converse. 

Her food she ordered goes cold and no one notices. Well one person does, its joy and she’s eyeing Doyeon and Haseul. Jinsoul’s phone starts to buzz and she looks at the ringer. Smiling she quickly hides it, “I have to pee, let me out.” Kwon pauses in his story about drag racing and scoots out with the other two girls. 

Jinsoul rushes to the bathroom and as soon as she slips through the door she answers the call. Sooyoung’s face pops up on the screen and Jinsoul’s heart starts to beat loudly at the girl’s adorable face. A wide smile stretches across the screen, “hi beautiful.” Simple words had her melting. She holds the phone close.

“Hi Sooyoung,” she leans on the bathroom counter. The girl looks at her softly, every feature was taken in by Sooyoung’s gaze and it drives Jinsoul crazy. How cute Sooyoung was and the charm that seem to ooze from the girl’s personality. 

Sooyoung tilts her head and puckers her lips, “I miss you.” Jinsoul rolls her eyes, she had seen Sooyoung a few hours ago. They cuddled in her bed before she had to get ready for this. Jinsoul says it back, because she would be lying if she said she didn’t miss Sooyoung. All she wanted to do was be with her, but every day it got more dangerous. And the chance of them being pulled apart was increasing. 

“Let me see you.” Jinsoul bites at her lip, Sooyoung’s tone is so attractive. Alluring and deep, she flips the phone around to show herself off. Sooyoung groans, “God can you bring your fine ass home already?” Jinsoul throws her head back, not being able to handle how good Sooyoung sounds right now. 

Although Sooyoung confessed to her, which was surprising to Jinsoul. They really haven’t been able to talk about their feelings in depth. Jinsoul was almost afraid to. Afraid that this was some dream that she would wake up from any second.

For years and years she’s fantasized about the life she could have with Sooyoung. 

She was so close to having it. But sometimes a fantasy is just that…impossible. Jinsoul thinks she could do the unimaginable. Especially with the way Sooyoung spoke to her. 

“I promise, okay? I’ll be with you soon.” She whispers, the way she wishes they could just run from all of this.

Sooyoung smiles at her, “promise?” Jinsoul nods her head and blows a kiss. Sooyoung pretends to catch it and holds it to her chest. “Come home to me Jung Jinsoul.” It seems like a simple statement but the blonde knows it’s so much more. She could tell Sooyoung has been careful with her as of late. Afraid she would turn cold again.

Sooyoung was afraid that she would be pushed away again.

_Jinsoul was afraid that she would have to again._

But she didn’t have the heart to tell her. Maybe she should start telling her the truth. One of these days Sooyoung’s not going to be able to take it anymore.

Jinsoul hangs up, tears spring to her eyes as she holds the phone up to her chest. Recalling the feeling of warmth of being in Sooyoung’s arms. She didn’t want to let go. 

The door opens and Jinsoul is about to leave until she sees the satin dress and small bob styled in curls. Haseul smirks at her and walks up to the mirror. Her heels clicking against the tile. Jinsoul stands her ground and starts to question her. She wanted to see how much she knew, “Haseul, didn’t know you was so close to my fiancé.”

Haseul leans over the counter and applies lipstick, they lock eyes through the mirror. “Cut the bullshit, he’s not the one you’re really worried about are you.”

Jinsoul’s blood runs cold but she hides it, “What are you talking about?” Haseul giggles but nothing about the question was funny. She turns and pops her lips, irking Jinsoul’s soul.

“Don’t play dumb, you know I’m talking about _our_ little bunny.” She uncrosses her arms, her fist clenched as Haseul laughs it off again. Jinsoul wanted to kill Haseul. She wasn’t exaggerating in the least. Sooyoung was only hers, nobody else’s and she didn’t like sharing. 

She plays the game, not letting her temper get to her, “what do you want?”

Haseul’s smile drops, serious as she tells Jinsoul her desires. “Leave her alone, Doyeon told me all about your story.” Jinsoul’s teeth clench, of course she knew. Doyeon was such a snitch.

“You don’t know shit about me and Sooyoung.”

It doesn’t scare Haseul off, it only drives her confidence, “but I do.” Haseul steps forward and puts a hand on her elbow, Jinsoul pushes her off, the contact burning her skin. “It’s so cute how you think you two will end up together.” 

“We will.” Jinsoul is desperate to convince. Not Haseul, but herself. She doesn’t give a fuck of what Haseul thinks. But she needs to have the hope for her and Sooyoung.

It’s becoming hard though. Haseul holds up her phone and the jealously eats her alive. It’s a video of Sooyoung, moaning someone’s name that isn’t hers. Tears falls from her eyes and she blinks them away. Jinsoul feels sick to her stomach as she watches Sooyoung close her eyes due to the pleasure. 

Panic bubbles in her chest and nausea overtakes her, “I won’t lie these were a while ago but jeez Jinsoul wouldn’t you say she was enjoying that?” Haseul drawls out watching the video herself and smiling at the memory. Her job was to break Jinsoul and well she was doing exceptionally well. “She said the same things to me Jinsoul, Oh I love you Haseul, and I want to be with you blah blah.” Haseul is also sick, she’s lying to the blonde but that isn’t what it is. It’s the fact what she’s saying isn’t true for herself.

“She may seem like she’s in love with you. I’m coming to you woman to woman Jinsoul. Once she’s bored she’ll drop you in a heartbeat.” Jinsoul’s hands are shaking against the counter. She shouldn’t believe in Haseul right? She was just playing this all up to make Jinsoul lose confidence and hope. Make her think that her and Sooyoung’s love isn’t the real thing. But it is, it has been for years. Jinsoul can see it in her eyes and feel it in her touch.

Sooyoung was in love with her right? 

Jinsoul smiles, yeah she was. Sooyoung was hers and she was Sooyoung’s. But Haseul reminds her it isn’t that simple, that their love was a fight. Jinsoul was willing to fight for it however, “I’m sure she’ll really lose interest in you once she finds out you’re getting married in October and moving to japan.” Jinsoul doesn’t know what drops first. Her heart, or the single tear from her cheek. 

“W-what are you…”

Haseul is checking her nails out, clicking her tongue she shakes her head. “I’m close to your fiancé remember Jinsoul?” Haseul flicks her gaze towards Jinsoul, her smile is filled with victory at the girl’s complete devastation. “He’s tired of waiting Jinsoul. Your parents have agreed, you’re to fly out next month.” 

Sometimes the fight is impossible to win.

“I’ll give you a choice however, I could convince Kwon to stay here with me. Because well he says I have the best pussy in the city. Your fiancé is in love with me Jinsoul.” Haseul pans out. She wasn’t entirely evil and it would be quite heartbreaking to tear lovers apart before they were even able to hold each other properly.

Haseul tilts her head and pouts, “stay away from Sooyoung, I’ll call her tonight and tell her everything. How you choose Kwon all those years ago, how you’re choosing him again.” She informs Jinsoul who is numb to everything in this moment. “Stay away from her and I’ll let you watch from afar as she grows to hate you and fall for someone else down the road.” Jinsoul is going to break. If she doesn’t run now she’s going to break.

She needs time for a plan.

“If you can’t however keep your fucking hands off of her, I’ll block Kwon’s number and bye bye Sooyoung. You will never see her again. She will be devastated to know you left her without a word.” Haseul grabs a paper towel for Jinsoul to wipe her tears. “Think about it Jinsoul, how do you want your heart broken.”

Haseul shrugs, “or really how do you want to break Sooyoung’s.” With that she leaves the empty shell of Jinsoul.

The blonde leaves the restaurant. 

She drives until the tank runs out of gas.

~~~~ 

She’s washing up for the night, Jinsoul should have been here by now. Shaking her head she stumbles to her room. Hyunjin is playing with a tennis ball with Heejin cuddled in her arms. Sooyoung smiles at the lovebirds, wishing it was her and Jinsoul. 

Laying on the bed she checks her phone. Nothing. Sooyoung frowns, they were supposed to be watching movies tonight. Sooyoung had even made popcorn and bought ice-cream for the little date. The past few days Sooyoung has been on cloud nine. She didn’t need an excuse to kiss Jinsoul. It was her dream coming true.

The girl she was in love with was finally becoming hers. 

Sooyoung kicks her feet against the matrass and thinks of Jinsoul’s smile and touch. It’s everything she’s ever wanted. Jinsoul always looked at her so softly, she adored Jinsoul and the blonde thought of her the same. They haven’t talked about it. Right now they were taking the opportunity to just be in each other’s arms.

They were allowed to love each other now.

She closes her eyes and pretends her pillow is the blonde. Hugging it close, it even smells like Jinsoul now. Everything Jinsoul did made her so giddy. Sooyoung was so happy now. She doesn’t know why she had waited so long.

This weekend she was going to take Jinsoul out. Hani was helping her plan a romantic date so she can properly confess to Jinsoul. Not some drunken blabber. 

She thinks of all the years coming up to this. Licking her lips she thinks Jinsoul has always been hers. But something stood between them. Sooyoung tried figuring it out but nothing came to mind. Now nothing would stop her feeling the way she does about Jinsoul.

Sooyoung would let nothing come between them. Not even Haseul calling her. Looking at her phone she raises her brow. Haseul hasn’t called in weeks. Thinking the girl is in trouble she answers.

Nothing would stop her from feeling this way about Jinsoul.

_Sooyoung, she doesn’t love you._

_She’s playing a game with you. She’s bored, that’s what she told me. That it was just for fun._

Haseul tells her some elaborate story. How Jinsoul is moving to japan and marrying Kwon. How Jinsoul was playing with her heart, that she was only doing it for the thrill. 

Sooyoung doesn’t buy it.

Jinsoul texts her late at night when she’s still awake. Thinking about her conversation with Haseul. 

[Babygirl Soulie]: We can’t do this anymore Sooyoung.

[Babygirl Soulie]: It was for fun, it didn’t mean anything right? We were just bored and in the moment. 

[Babygirl Soulie]: I don’t feel the same. I can’t be around you. It would be unfair to you. We have to stop doing this. 

[Sooyoung]: You’re a liar Jinsoul.

[Babygirl Soulie]: I know.

~~~~

Pacing back and forth on the floor, she calls Jinsoul one more time. It goes unanswered. Sooyoung thinks this is close to the hundredth call. It’s been almost a week, Vivi was getting anxious. Season was coming to an end and Sooyoung was about to stroke out, not for the reasons for the sport. But for her heart.

Jinsoul had never been this quiet. Even when they avoided each other.

Sooyoung sits on Jinsoul’s bed. Her body buzzing with anxiety. Where could the blonde be? Chaewon didn’t know either and she had went looking for her earlier. Sooyoung waited at her home. Hoping that Jinsoul would come back soon. It was four in the morning and Sooyoung hasn’t slept in two days.

She wouldn’t sleep until she knew Jinsoul was okay. 

Hours later, when the sun is rising. Sooyoung lays in Jinsoul’s sheets, the scent of coconut all around her. The bed was too empty, too cold without its owner. Sooyoung couldn’t find the comfort. The light spills in the room, the morning glow making it seem peaceful. In Sooyoung’s heart and mind was everything but peaceful.

The door cracks open and in walks Jinsoul. He face sunken and her eyes black underneath. Sooyoung raises up slowly from the bed. Jinsoul is too exhausted to notice her and shuts and locks the door. When Jinsoul turns to see her, the first instinct is to smile. But realizing what she’s texted Sooyoung and the situation. She isn’t for sure what to do.

“What are you doing here?” Sooyoung doesn’t answer. Only slowly getting up from the bed. Maybe this was some sort of illusion. She hasn’t slept for days so it was possible. The light made Jinsoul’s skin look flawless, the dark in her eyes reflecting the gold making the air between them more tranquil. Sooyoung approaches Jinsoul, the blonde too tired to even move.

Sooyoung cradles her face and she knows it’s real. Because even in dreams, Jinsoul wouldn’t look at her this affectionately. Pulling her lips towards the blonde’s they kiss. It’s short and more of greeting than anything. Sooyoung tries it again, since she’s missed them so much but Jinsoul pushes her away. “Stop Sooyoung.” 

She doesn’t push her luck, instead asking the million dollar question, “Where have you been?”

Jinsoul pushes her further away, “does it matter?”

Pulling her back, Sooyoung breaks the distance between them. “It does, because I care about you.” Jinsoul struggles in her embrace, but the warmth is too hard to resist for Jinsoul and she gives in. The blonde is relieved to be back in her lover’s arms. But if she were to keep her, Sooyoung wouldn’t even become her proper lover.

“You’re not making this easy.”

Sooyoung sighs, closing her eyes at the feeling of Jinsoul’s hands gripping on her shirt desperately, “whatever you’re trying to do, I don’t want it to be easy.” Jinsoul bites back the tears. She really couldn’t do this could she? Jinsoul couldn’t let go of Sooyoung no matter how hard she tried. She’d have to be ripped from her. But that very may well happen.

“Did you get my texts?” Sooyoung hums, she deleted those. Because that wasn’t Jinsoul. That was Jinsoul being influenced. If she didn’t get the call from Haseul she might have taken them easily into consideration. “It didn’t mean anything to me Sooyoung. I’m sorry I can’t give you want. I’m sorry I can’t be the girl who you want to me to be.” It hurts hearing it, but Sooyoung persists to be the stronger one. So she can be Jinsoul’s anchor.

Kissing the side of Jinsoul’s head she breathes out, “So none of it meant anything? Even my confession. My feelings mean nothing to you?” She asks in a soft voice. Not raising her voice or letting her fear come out in a tone. She doesn’t want to pressure Jinsoul, she doesn’t want to overwhelm her. 

“No, I…can’t love you the way you want me to.” Jinsoul chokes out. “We’re only supposed to be friends Sooyoung, what we’re doing doesn’t make sense.” The blonde tries to push her off but Sooyoung holds on for the both of them. If she had let Jinsoul push her off it would have been over. But Sooyoung wasn’t ready for that. She’ll never be ready for that. Her plans with Jinsoul were forever. 

Sooyoung smiles, “it’s only us Jinsoul.” The blonde takes in a deep breath and stops pushing against Sooyoung’s form. Suddenly Sooyoung is holding her tighter since Jinsoul had practically gone limp in her hold, sobbing into her chest and shaky hands wrapping around her waist. 

Jinsoul tells her the truth. She realizes it’s the easiest way out. “ _I, can’t. They hate me Sooyoung_.” She doesn’t ask questions only listens. They have all the time in the world and she can fill in the blanks. Sooyoung could only assume that it was Jinsoul’s parents influencing her. Dr. Jung had never been a fan of Sooyoung. “ _If I don’t push you away they’ll take you away._ ” Jinsoul is too weak to stand so Sooyoung lets her down gently still holding her. 

_I don’t want to let to let you go._

_I’m in love with you._

Sooyoung was so tired, but the words brought her an immeasurable amount of adrenaline. “Then don’t let me go.” Sooyoung buries her face in Jinsoul’s neck. Holding the crying girl in her lap. “Don’t let me go Jinsoul,” They hold each other on the floor for what seems like forever. Day break finally passing through the glass and creating a shadow of them on the wall. 

Jinsoul finally calms down, her sighs come out as hiccups. Sooyoung soothes over her back, “what do you want me to do Jinsoul?” The blonde sniffles. She isn’t for sure where to go from here. Jinsoul knows that their love couldn’t be set aside. But she knows they can’t openly do it either. Or Haseul wouldn’t keep Kwon around and she’d go to Japan. “I can’t keep fighting this feeling off so you need to tell me what to do.” Sooyoung gives her the choice.

Sooyoung takes her time to be appreciative of what she’s had with Jinsoul so far. The blonde had let her in finally and Sooyoung was beginning to understand Jinsoul again. Or she even did to begin with. Jinsoul tells her everything. Haseul’s threat and Kwon’s impatience. How if they didn’t stay away from each other, if they were caught then it was over.

Jinsoul didn’t want to tell Sooyoung, but she needed to tell her the truth. Jinsoul still withheld the part of her parents and the consequences that Sooyoung didn’t know about. She probably didn’t consider this so bad, it was something they could overcome but Jinsoul knew better. But she was too nervous to tell Sooyoung what would happen if her parents were to find out.

She knows what she wants, and knows the price she’ll have to pray. Jinsoul wishes her life wasn’t riddled with so much choices. All she wanted was to make one and go about. She doesn’t understand why so many people wanted to involve themselves in hers.

Jinsoul clings onto her. “If you don’t go, you know what will happen.” It’s a gamble, love was like the lottery anyways. Sooyoung was willing to risk it all however. Jinsoul was worth the high stakes. 

Sooyoung whispers against her head. “Do what you think is best, if you really want me to go. I can survive without you, I don’t need you.” Her throat closes up as she says it. She’s starting to understand the situation Jinsoul is in. She doesn’t want to screw it up. Sooyoung isn’t the one to make the decision her.

Jinsoul pulls back from embrace and looks her in the eyes. Sooyoung sees nothing but devotion and lets her heart races as Jinsoul speaks, “But you want me, and that’s just as bad.” Jinsoul reaches forward to bring their foreheads together. The blonde’s hand rubs into her scalp, trying to convince her it will be okay. “I see no purpose of surviving when I want you this badly.” Jinsoul confesses.

How could she leave Sooyoung behind without creating a hole in her heart? Maybe she was being dramatic from the lack of sleep, and hunger. But she couldn’t see herself being happy in life without pursuing her dreams. Sooyoung was a part of that dream. Forever Jinsoul would think of Sooyoung if they were to drift apart. “I can survive without you too Sooyoung but that doesn’t mean I want to. I’ll think about it my whole life if you don’t become mine. How I never got what I wanted, and you’re all I’ve ever wanted.” 

She wonders if would be easy if they never met in the first place. Jinsoul would feel like she was missing something her entire life, but at least she wouldn’t know what it was.

Sooyoung swallows harshly, knowing what’s to come. Jinsoul is going to choose to let her go. “Just know I’ll always love you Jinsoul. It will always be you Jinsoul. No one will ever be you for me and that’s all I can promise with whatever you choose.” If there were people betting against them, Sooyoung would let them win for now. But that doesn’t mean that she’ll win later in life.

“And if I want you to go, will you wait for me?”

Jinsoul holds her breath waiting for Sooyoung’s answer. The older girl smiles. “I’ll think of you every step of the way.”

“I hate keeping you on hold Sooyoung.” Jinsoul admits. The blonde will make sure that this isn’t permeant, all she needed was time…and money. She had neither right now. All she had to rely on was Sooyoung’s support, it was almost enough. Jinsoul was wishy washy, she knows that.

But Sooyoung doesn’t care, “I’d wait forever Jinsoul.” The blonde hates herself for what she’s done. All these years Sooyoung has waited for her and now she would have to wait again.

Jinsoul makes her decision, she would stay away from Sooyoung. Come up with something as quick as she could. Sooyoung doesn’t know the consequences but for Jinsoul to be this broken, they must be bad. Sooyoung would rather have Jinsoul from afar than across the seas in someone else’s arms. She’s waited for Jinsoul before, but now she has a sense of relief. She knows Jinsoul feels the same.

It may be hard, but it must be done.

“I’m sorry Sooyoung.” She gets up and so does Jinsoul. The blonde gives her a kiss, it’s not a goodbye. At least not forever.

Stepping out of the room she hears the door click behind her. Sooyoung crawls down the steps, as soon as she got home she would cry herself to exhausting. She was so close to Jinsoul. But for whatever reason. Jinsoul was pushing her away. Again for reasons unknown. 

She wonders if it will be the same this time. Sooyoung stops at the door and turns to look at the steps. The fear settling in her heart, Jinsoul was pushing her away again and even though the blonde promised that it wouldn’t be forever.

The chance was too scary to take. Sooyoung didn’t want to gamble this, so she rushes back up the steps. Jinsoul wants her? Then the only thing she could do is give her that.

Jinsoul puts her head against the wood. She can’t stand it anymore, Sooyoung hadn’t been the only one waiting. She hates that her plans never work. Smiling she thinks of all the time that’s lead up to this. The days she’s had to resist Sooyoung, the days trying to win her heart back. How could Jinsoul give up just like that? 

The feeling is too hard to give up, Sooyoung is too amazing as a person to let slip through her fingers again. Her mind is telling her to wait it out, that Sooyoung will be there in the end after this mess is handled. But her heart is telling her to go for it. They could handle it together, so they didn’t have to avoid each other no more.

She didn’t think she could go another week without being with Sooyoung.

Jinsoul rethinks her decision. She was so tired of listening to other people, doing what they wanted her to do. Everyone wanted her to stay away from Sooyoung, but what would happen if she didn’t? Jinsoul hates to be selfish, but once in her life she was about to go after what she wanted.

She’d figure it out on the way. 

Opening the door she’s not surprised to see Sooyoung back. There’s something entirely different in her eyes. Desire and it consumes Jinsoul. “Changed your mind?” Sooyoung asks her in a deep voice. Clearly her intentions were to not listen to Jinsoul. Because when had she ever followed the blonde’s words. It was one of the things Jinsoul loved about her. Sooyoung didn’t leave Jinsoul alone back then no matter how hard the girl tried.

So now why the hell would she. 

Jinsoul doesn’t say anything, she just surges forward to press her lips against Sooyoung. Their kiss is desperate and hot. Sooyoung grabs onto what she can pushing Jinsoul inside and slamming the door back shut. The blonde pins her against the door, bringing a hand up to her throat. “Do you think we can keep this a secret?” Sooyoung struggles to breathe. From the fact that they were about to do this. And that Jinsoul’s hand was almost choking her.

“We can only try right?” Jinsoul smiles at her for the first time that morning. Fingers burn into Sooyoung’s skin as Jinsoul drags them up to cradle her face. Jinsoul’s lips are scorching, they’re so close but yet so far away.

Jinsoul’s body pins her further into the wood, making it creak from the pressure. Jinsoul moans at Sooyoung’s simple touches, “I’m insane to think I can stay away from you.” Jinsoul mumbles on her lips and her hips jerk forward into her own. Sooyoung pulls her closer by the ass. No one knew they were here together. No one had to know, Sooyoung and Jinsoul would make sure of it. But for now Sooyoung was focused on making Jinsoul and only her, she couldn’t think of anyone else when Jinsoul kept whining on her lips like that every time she grabs roughly. 

Sooyoung’s head bangs against the door as they kiss she can’t get enough. The electricity behind Jinsoul’s aggressive hands send chills all the way down her spine. The blonde grabs her belt buckle and pulls her closer, breaking their kiss to bite on her lips. Nails dig in her tummy and she feels like throwing up with how painful the knot is in her stomach.

Jinsoul’s body starts to heat up, licking up Sooyoung’s jaw and kissing at her ear. Their hips melting together when Jinsoul goes to scratch at her lower back. She smiles when she hears Sooyoung moan, she’s finally happy with a decision she’s made. 

Biting down on Sooyoung ear she whispers out, “Do you know how many times I’ve fucked myself to get the thought of you out of my head?” Sooyoung is about to pass out at Jinsoul’s rasped words. Used to it was such a teasing game but now the vulgar truth was making her knees week. “But I can’t stop thinking about it Sooyoung. How much I want you.” Haseul be damned, the same to her parents. 

She doesn’t care what they said they’d do if she stayed with Sooyoung.

Jinsoul would take care of it herself.

Sooyoung kisses Jinsoul, shoving her tongue inside the girl’s mouth. Suddenly the mutual exhaustion disappears and there’s nothing but adrenaline and desire. Jinsoul doesn’t just want Sooyoung, she needs her because the building temptation and the slow pulse between her thighs was becoming unbearable. Sooyoung seems to understand with one look at dark hooded eyes, emphasized by a low groan.

Nails drag across her tummy and she slips her hands further down to squeeze Jinsoul’s ass. The blonde is shaking against her and soon loses her lead. Sooyoung happily takes it instead and pushes them further into the room. Jinsoul looks heavenly in the morning light, but Sooyoung can’t get enough of her lips. They bump into the desk. Jinsoul’s hands slip under her shirt and cling to her back, feeling the muscles tighten as she lifts the blonde unto the surface. 

Their lips smack together and Sooyoung tries to undo Jinsoul’s jeans button getting impatient with the lack of skin contact. Sooyoung squeezes at her waist, Jinsoul was so soft and she wanted to touch all over. She’d never be satisfied with it the amount of pleasure it was to feel Jinsoul like this, so she guesses she’d have to do it over and over again. 

Jinsoul is breathless, panting as Sooyoung breaks the kiss to suck on her neck. She knew she would last long due to circumstances, she felt dizzy and high all at the same time. Her hips were grinding subconsciously up towards Sooyoung’s to gain some sort of friction and her limbs wrapped around Sooyoung’s hips and back. She rubs smooth circles in the tense muscles, to encourage Sooyoung to not stop for one second.

She would rather not do it on this desk, she wants to feel Sooyoung on top of her as she fucks her. She wants to weight to ground her when she cums. “ _N-not here baby_.” The pet names makes Sooyoung groan, but the bed is too far, the floor is the next best option. Sooyoung lifts her and Jinsoul surprises herself with how much it turns her on. She didn’t think she could get wetter but after that display she was positive her panties were soaked.

Jinsoul wants to cry, Sooyoung looks at her like she’s the only girl in the world as she gently lays her on the carpet and situates herself between her legs. There’s a moment of silence, where they only stare at each other. Jinsoul cups her face between her shaking hands. It’s peaceful, seeing the light reflect of Sooyoung’s features. 

Their life for a while will be hard, but as long as she had Sooyoung she doesn’t think she’ll mind. Nothing could break her if she had Sooyoung to piece her back together. Desire is telling her to move on, to claim what’s hers. But she takes a moment to cherish Sooyoung, she adores her. Jinsoul’s neck is blotted with arousal and her body is on fire. 

She feels like she’ll start steaming at any minute. Sooyoung smiles at her, one of her favorite images in the world. They’ll be just fine she thinks. Nothing could take this moment away from them. Sooyoung leans back down and kisses her, it starts off slow and affectionate. Reminding her that she was in love, thankfully is lasts long.

It was intimate, so much that it was suffocating. Sooyoung picks up the pace and soon as she grinds her hips down into Jinsoul, the kiss turns into something sinister. Jinsoul had never felt so dirty as Sooyoung chokes her with her hand, swirling her tongue in her mouth. She couldn’t feel her legs, everything was numb and the only sensation she had was where she needed Sooyoung the most. 

Sooyoung pops their lips apart and shoves her thumb inside Jinsoul’s mouth. Pressing against the back of Jinsoul’s tongue making her gag, saliva trails from the corner of her mouth and Sooyoung keeps pushing her hips hard into Jinsoul. The blonde sucks on the finger, loving the taste and the fact that something of Sooyoung’s was inside her. 

She lifts Jinsoul’s shirt and watches as the girl’s tummy muscles twitch. “I wanna know how bad you wanna get fucked right now.” Jinsoul moans at her words. Sooyoung smiles when the blonde sucks in and bucks her hips up to meet Sooyoung’s rotating ones. Her thumb is bitten when she palms Jinsoul’s tummy, feeling her abs and moving up to where her bra was. 

Sooyoung could feel the heartbeat from there. It was pounding, just like the pulse below in her jeans and the one in her head. Sooyoung wants to dip her fingers in, to see how wet and tight Jinsoul is. To see if the girl would throb and grip around her fingers. She wanted to feel the heat, she wanted to bury herself as deep as Jinsoul would allow her. 

Taking her thumb out she replaces it with her tongue. She doesn’t have time to waste so she rips Jinsoul’s thin t-shirt down the middle. Kissing down the girl’s neck she breathes in her smell. She couldn’t wait to taste Jinsoul, for the girl to cum in her mouth. Sooyoung wouldn’t be done with the girl for a while. She had so many things to do that she’s been waiting for forever to do. 

Sooyoung wanted to fuck her with her fingers until she couldn’t feel her legs, wanted to place her tongue inside the heat.

She doesn’t even know where to begin.

Rubbing on the back of Jinsoul’s thighs that were wrapped around her waist she asks, “you gonna show me how much you want me?” Jinsoul opens her eyes, she couldn’t stop moaning. Sooyoung’s hip movements were so sensual. If she was already this close to the edge she was sure what was to come would be magical. 

Almost unbelievable.

Jinsoul grabs her belt again and tugs her down, biting against Sooyoung’s lip she starts to undo the buckle. The sweat was starting to soak them both, Jinsoul remembers all the days staring at Sooyoung’s body on the sand. At night she’d fuck herself senseless imagining the same body on top of her, the same one that was now. 

She didn’t have to fantasize anymore.

The blonde smiles up at her lover. Ready for the workout of her life. Sooyoung was such a hard worker and she was sure that this was probably her favorite way of showing off all that endurance. 

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” 

“Ha Sooyoung.”

~~~~

AH! Haha you people can settle for a while now hehe, next chapters, Jinsoul solo time! Sorry about the cliff hanger or whatever. Nothing bad will happen for a while! :D


	19. Jung Jinsoul Part one

_ 17 years ago _

“Daddy, where are we going?” Jinsoul flips around her untied shoes, popsicle in hand. Her dad took her everywhere with him. 

He was her favorite person at that time. 

Dr.Jung doesn’t answer he only adjusts his rearview mirror, smiling at his daughter in tiny overalls. Jinsoul’s hair was done up in cute pigtails. His grip tightens on the wheel. He can only hope his daughters presence will help him not be so bitter. 

Jinsoul is lifted out of her car and sat on the ground. She giggles and grabs her dad’s hand as they walk on the dirt road. Looking up it’s a kinda big house, but age has done numbers to it. The home sits in the valley, surrounded by woods and far away from the city where she lives. 

He has his emergency kit in his hand. Age hasn’t got to him yet, his smile was still genuine. Looking around there’s a small garden out by the house and there’s a few kids playing around. He looks toward the porch of the home. 

His old friend stands there. Dr. Jung frowns, he looks frail. His oxygen tank sits beside him. “Hey you!” The weak man coughs out and steps down the stairs. Dr. Jung smiles when he’s pulled into a hug. They haven’t seen each other in over five years. 

He had moved back to the coast just to treat this man, one of his best friends he grew up with. Mr. Ha tilts and looks down at the little girl clenching to his leg. He waves at her, “Hi tiny thing what’s your name!” Dr. Jung snorts and looks down at his daughter, she hides behind his legs, her glasses pushing into the fabric of his dress pants. 

“Wow I can’t believe you’re back...you’ve got two now don’t you?” Mr. Ha asks and in turn Dr. Jung nods. His beautiful girls, he’d never let anything happen to them. 

Reaching behind him he pats on Jinsoul’s head, his daughter was a bit shy. “As soon as I heard about your...condition I had to come.” Dr. Jung sadly sighs out. His friend wasn’t always the healthiest, nor the greatest friend either. 

He’d left this city not on the best terms with his old friend. Mr. Ha coughs and smiles, his lungs were not strong enough anymore. He was dying. But Dr. Jung was a hell of a doctor so he’d see to it that he lived long enough to see his children grow up. 

At least that’s what he thought, until he saw  _ her. _

Out comes the love of his life, she gasps when she sees him. By her side was two girls. They looked just like  _ him.  _ Especially the taller one. Had the exact same face as his old friend. 

The one that stole his fiance from him. The friend that had almost killed him over this woman. The same woman that had cheated on him and got pregnant with the little rat by her side when they were engaged. 

_ Be civil.  _

Mr. Ha and him were good friends, before his fiance, who was now Mrs. Ha, had gotten pregnant with his child. Dr. Jung dipped from the city then, not without a fight however. One that almost got him killed. 

He still doesn’t know if her forgives his old friend for sticking a knife in him. 

A drunken night, when he was still numb from what happened, he had mistakenly got with the wrong girl. Now he was married with two. He hated the mother of his children, but he loved Jinsoul and Chaewon. He was glad they looked like him. 

Smiling he looks back up to the man who ruined his life...almost. 

“Jinsoul go say hi and play while I speak to Mr. Ha,” his daughter shakes her head against his legs. Looking towards the porch he sees that his ex was pregnant again. Taking a deep breath he bends down to talk sweetly to his daughter, “Come on, you'll want to make some friends right? You’re starting school in the fall.” 

Jinsoul shakes her head no. She gulps at the tall girl with scratches all over her face. “Daddy has to fix his friend okay? Don’t be shy.” She nods and goes up to the porch. 

Mrs. Ha pushes her older daughter with a smile, while picking up her two year old. “Sooyoung be nice,” she says with a serious tone. Her daughter was a bit mean. Plenty times at the park she’s had to stop her daughter from hitting boys that would mess around with her. 

Jinsoul smiles and sticks out her hand. “Hi my name is Jinsoul!” 

It confuses Sooyoung, so she pushes the girl down the stairs. Jinsoul starts to cry when she lands on her hand funny. “Ha Sooyoung!” 

“She was going to hit me!” Her little sister was giggling. It was funny seeing that girl roll down the steps. Dr. Jung runs towards his daughter. Picking her up instantly to hold her close to her chest. 

Sooyoung actually feels bad for the first time. 

After Jinsoul is all fixed up she’s sat in the middle of the couch. Sooyoung is giving an ass whooping and a stern scolding by her mother. 

Crossing her arms she walks up to the sniffling girl. Such a cry baby, “sorry I pushed you down the stairs.” Jinsoul wipes her snot and tears. 

“It’s okay.” 

Sooyoung pouts, remembering what her mom said or she wasn’t going to get cake after dinner. “There’s this really cool puddle outside, do you wanna see it?” Jinsoul smiles and nods her head. 

Later on they’re both giggling and splashing in the puddle. Sooyoung’s face is covered in mud and Jinsoul’s shoes are sunk in the water. Sooyoung throws mud at Jinsoul and the girl whines when some gets on her glasses. 

Sooyoung smiles however, glad she’s found a new friend. 

~~~~ 

_ 14 years ago _

Sooyoung holds up the tooth she just pulled out, “look Jinsoul we’re going to be rich!” Her best friend that was playing in the water looks up and claps her hands together. They were out in Jinsoul’s garden, the younger girl was playing in the small pond in the middle of it. 

Running towards her, she splashes the water as she meets Jinsoul in the middle. They both stare at Sooyoung’s tooth, huddled together under the hot summer sun, trying to cool down in the murky water. “I’ll buy you an ice cream with the money the fairy gives me.” 

Jinsoul looks at her friend who was now missing a tooth and giggles, “you look stupid.” Sooyoung shoves her and Jinsoul loses her footing and falls into the water. Sooyoung grabs her stomach since she’s laughing so hard. 

Until Jinsoul grabs her to pull her down as well. The water thankfully is shallow and they wrestle in it, getting mud caked in their hair and their clothes soaked through. Jinsoul is crying when Sooyoung is on top of her, keeping her down in the mud. 

“Wait...where’d my toof go.” Jinsoul raises her head up from where it was stuck in some mud and gasps. She looks up at Sooyoung who was missing her tooth, her tan skin almost dark as the mud as they were playing in. 

Jinsoul screams when Sooyoung pulls her hair, “MY TOOTH MONEY JINSOUL!” 

They continue to fight the entire day, not serious enough for one of them to get hurt. This is how their summers went, constantly playing out in the sun or inside when it was pouring the rain. They were best friends after all and they were stuck together like glue. 

_ It’s Jung Jinsoul and that Ha girl again.  _

You wouldn’t ever see either of them not smiling however. Because they were the happiest they could possibly be. 

Later when Jinsoul is washing the muck out of Sooyoung’s hair she pinches her arm, “you’ll still buy me ice cream right?” Sooyoung glares at Jinsoul who is grinning at her. 

“I guess…” Sooyoung’s convinced furthermore with a kiss on the cheek in which she rubs off as quickly as she was given. 

~~~~ 

_ 13 years ago  _

The boys won’t stop throwing rocks at her, Jinsoul cowers underneath the playground. Her savior wasn’t there to protect her from the snot-nosed boys. She had slapped the main one when he tried kissing her. 

Boys were icky, Jinsoul didn’t want to kiss them. 

Sooyoung was probably still mad at her for earlier. She had wanted to go to the beach and swim but Jinsoul wanted to stay at the playground and swing. Sooyoung had left her swinging and that’s when the boys surrounded her. 

One rock hits her and it lands between her eyes. Jinsoul starts to cry, that one really hurt. Suddenly the rocks stop hitting her. Opening her eyes, she first noticed that her glasses are cracked. Next she notices Sooyoung beating up all the boys that were bullying her. 

Jinsoul runs to her when the boys start running off, she slams Sooyoung into a hug, “thank you...thank you so much.” Skinny arms wrap around her protectively and Jinsoul’s never felt so safe. Not even with her parents who over time, spent less and less time with her. 

Now Jinsoul was constantly with Sooyoung in her family...because that’s where her heart belonged. “I’m sorry Jinsoul, I won’t leave you no more.” Jinsoul squeezes tighter and snuggles into Sooyoung’s chest. 

When she finally pulls back Sooyoung has a scratch above her eyebrow, her smile shines in the sunlight. Her front teeth were coming in, it made her look just like a bunny. Jinsoul tears up. 

Sooyoung was her guardian. 

Her best friend. 

~~~~

_ 11 years ago  _

It was colder out these days, Sooyoung only seemed to find warmth in Jinsoul’s arms. They were in Sooyoung’s bed. The sheets pulled up to their chests. 

She could barely see over the blanket. Jinsoul was rubbing circles into her back and Sooyoung was snuggled into her side. Her legs entangled with Jinsoul’s own.

The girl propped up on a few pillows has a book in the hand that wasn’t wrapped around Sooyoung. Reading quietly out loud as the rain outside beats down onto the windows. 

Jinsoul always read to her on rainy days. She doesn’t know what she loves more. Jinsoul’s voice or the stories she told. Really thinking about it...she thinks she could go without a story and not without the slow drawl of her best friend’s voice. 

Sooyoung rubs her face into Jinsoul’s chest. Liking how the fuzzy sweater felt on her skin. She could almost fall asleep like this, but Jinsoul keeps her up by pinching her ever so often. 

The door creaks open, it’s her mom. Sooyoung wipes her eyes as she raises up in the bed. Jinsoul sits comfortably in the pillow seat they had made. 

Mrs. Ha smile and brings in two cup. Sooyoung sighs when she smells the chocolate. They sit on the edge of the bed as they sip on the sweet beverage. 

Sooyoung loved days like these. 

~~~~ 

_ 9 years ago.  _

“Are we going to catch fireflies again tonight?” Sooyoung asks her. Jinsoul shrugs and keeps digging in the dirt. 

The girl was planting some roses in the garden. Jinsoul was maturing fast. She started to understand that she and Sooyoung weren’t like normal girls. 

At school she noticed that other girls weren’t as close as they were. Asking around, apparently it was gross to kiss girls if you were a girl yourself. 

Jinsoul doesn’t mind however, all she needed was Sooyoung. 

It would be them forever. 

She was sure of it, “we can, I kinda wanna watch movies tonight too.” Sooyoung nods she leans back onto her elbows soaking in the hot sun while Jinsoul managed her mother’s garden. 

Tilting her head back she hums, feeling the summer heat. 

Planting the last rose Jinsoul looks towards Sooyoung. Jinsoul smiles, the girl was getting taller and was so skinny. Even then, she had a lot of baby fat on her face. “Soobunny you’re so cute.” Sooyoung glares at her, Jinsoul knows she likes it though. 

Wiping at the scratch on Sooyoung’s cheek she pinches it making the older girl groan. Sooyoung looks up to Jinsoul, her friend was starting to get really pretty. She got a lot of attention from the boys at school. 

Sooyoung made sure to run them off. 

The only person Jinsoul needed to give attention to was her. Sooyoung was the only one allowed to receive affection. 

Jinsoul knew that too. 

“Thank you for showing me them Sooyoung, the fireflies.” Jinsoul shares a look with her best friend. One night she was going on and on about the stars. Wishing she could see them up close. 

Jinsoul was in love with the stars. 

They were so beautiful yet so far away. Bright and always showed up in her dreams. In the darkness she didn’t have to be afraid, because the stars would always shine. 

Sooyoung had showed her the closest thing to them. One night the girl had dragged through the forest and into a field. Where thousands of tiny stars flickered right in front of her face. 

The girl had taken a jar and captured some, shaking them right in front of Jinsoul’s face. She was in awe, the jar in Sooyoung’s hand was like her own little universe. 

When they had laid down to look at the real ones Jinsoul had showed Sooyoung something as well. Jinsoul always liked the taste of bitter things. 

She saw the good in everything. The best example was Sooyoung. Many people said that Sooyoung was just a short tempered brat. Did nothing but get in trouble. 

Jinsoul thought Sooyoung was a sweetheart that was just misunderstood. 

She was so overwhelmed with emotion that she leaned forward and had her first kiss. 

Jinsoul had fallen in love with something else. 

It wasn’t the glittered specks of lights that painted the sky. Not the tiny creatures that glowed behind the glass of the small mason jar. Jinsoul had fallen in love with something she wasn’t supposed to fall in love with. 

It was the girl laying beside her. Whose eyes twinkled in the darkness. Who’s cuts and bruises she’d clean up. Who constantly listened to her no matter how much she talked. The girl who understood her and knew her like no one else did. 

The girl she shared something special with.

She didn’t really know in that moment though. How she was falling in love. 

And really, could she even call it love then? But that’s what she felt like. Similar to what the characters in all those books she read to Sooyoung. The ones that explained the emotion of love in explicit little details. Ideas that Jinsoul would daydream about and switch the characters out to her and Sooyoung. 

Jinsoul would blush when she’d read a scene where they kissed. 

All those girls in school talking about how they’d get the butterflies around the boy they liked. Jinsoul would sit quietly and listen to them, wondering why she’s never felt that way.

Jinsoul didn’t know because no boy made her float in thin air like Sooyoung did. Really, it was Sooyoung giving her all those fluttering feelings. 

She wasn't sure how to explain it, no matter how much she’s read in books or listened to those girls blabber on. Nothing could explain how Sooyoung made her feel, it was just...happiness.

She loved Sooyoung as much as she did the stars.

“You’re welcome egg-head.” Looking at Sooyoung, she feels the emotions again. The ones that she read about in those books. The ones that those girls talked about when talking about their crush. 

Jinsoul wasn’t normal was she? 

Leaning forward she presses her lips against her best friends again. They’re so soft but this time instead of the bitter taste of wild strawberries doesn’t stick to her lips. It’s a sweetness of a peach, Jinsoul can’t get over it so she moves her lips against Sooyoung. 

But then she pulls back, Sooyoung still has her eyes closed. Jinsoul giggles and shoves the girl. Her best friend proceeds to blink out of her daze. Raising up from where she was leaning on her elbows to lean on the back of her hands. 

Jinsoul wants to do it again. Because she likes it so much. Her curiosity is piqued, so she leans back over to press her lips back against Sooyoung’s puffy ones. She likes this. A whole lot more than she should. 

If she could, she’d spend all day kissing Sooyoung. Because finally she can relate to those characters in the books and those girls in her class. Except, it’s not exactly the same. 

She just doesn’t know it yet.

Mrs, Jung is walking outside with a glass full of water. She was going to check on her daughter. 

The glass drops to the ground and she screams. That girl was here again. 

And she was kissing her daughter. 

~~~~ 

Dr.Jung pinches the bridge of his nose. He was just trying to do his work but his wife had bursted into his office, “that  _ ****  _ was here again and guess what she was doing with  _ our  _ daughter.” He looks up from his papers, he was trying to open a hospital in Japan. 

It was sucking the life out of him. 

“She was  _ kissing  _ her…” His wife hisses at him like it’s the most disgusting thing in the world. Narrowing his eyes he doesn’t see the big deal, who cares if they were smooching each other, they were twelve. Kids who were probably just having some fun. 

Mrs. Jung hated Ha Sooyoung. Even more then she hated the girl's mother. Dr. Jung had gotten over it, him and his old friend had closure. Now the man was on his last breath. He admired Ha Sooyoung, she was just like her father. 

Charming and braver than any kid he’s ever seen. The last thing, the thing that had ruined his life once, and now would be a pain in the ass. Stubbornness. 

Sure he could tell Sooyoung to stay away from his daughter. But the hell would that do? The kids would just sneak around. And his daughter would become even more distant from him than she already was. 

If it was his way he wouldn’t bat an eye. But his wife was seething. So he guesses he had to do something, “they’re just kids, it’s probably just some phase. Give it a year or two and Jinsoul will have a boyfriend.” He feels a headache coming at the the thought of Jinsoul having a boyfriend. 

The image replays in Mrs. Jung’s mind, her daughter leaned over, her hand cupping that girls jaw. It wasn’t something that kids did for fun. The kiss she had witnessed was an abomination. 

That girl was always around Jinsoul. They  _ were always  _ together. Jinsoul shouldn’t be spending her time, all her time with some child like that. Especially a girl. 

“Fine, but if I catch them again you’re doing something about it.” The door to his office is slammed. 

He groans and lays his head down, he hopes that Mr. Ha and the kids were alright. 

~~~~

Jinsoul is setting up some towels on the sand. She was waiting for Sooyoung and her dad to come so they could swim for the entire day. 

She remembers being taught how to swim, how Sooyoung instantly got it and was like a fish in water but it took her a little longer. Eventually she became interested in surfing. 

Jinsoul was scrubbing at her board, usually Sooyoung would help her out try to balance and ride. Saving her if she got wiped out. 

Mr. Ha would sit on the sand and watch the girls play. How their smiles reached their eyes and were brighter than the sun beating down on them. 

Sitting the board up in the sand Jinsoul shakes the excitement out of her hands. She and Sooyoung were attached to the hip and the longer she went without seeing the girl the more antsy she would get. 

Swimming was Sooyoung’s favorite thing to do during the summer. Jinsoul would be stuck staring at the girl who liked to just float for hours. Feeling the water underneath her body. 

Jinsoul tries to float to but it never works out. She was too afraid of drowning. 

Sooyoung helps her though by holding her underneath and whispering words of encouragement. Jinsoul floats in pools where it’s quiet and the movement isn’t as scary. 

There she could float for hours, Sooyoung barely holding her up while she closed her eyes and listened to the girl’s soft tone. 

_ Feels like you’re in the clouds right? _

Floating became one of Jinsoul’s favorite things to do. 

But she liked calmer waters, while Sooyoung liked to feel the push and pull. She guesses that’s just another difference between them amongst the many. 

Jinsoul sits in the sand and closes her eyes, imaging Sooyoung’s face. Cute cheeks and plump lips stretched for a toothy grin. She couldn’t wait to see her today. 

She couldn’t wait another second to see her best friend. 

Seconds, turn to minutes, and minutes turn to hours. Jinsoul is still sitting at the beach alone and the sun is dropping in the sky. 

She doesn’t know why she starts to cry. Today was the first day Sooyoung hasn’t come without a word of warning. 

At the hospital Dr. Jung runs through the hallways. He was stuck in a meeting and got a call. Someone that hasn’t called him in over ten years. 

His ex-fiancé, once the love of his life. His title no longer served him. 

_ Daddy are you going to fix him? _

He slams into the room. One nurse is there patting the back of a crying woman. He looks at the heart monitor. 

Flatlined. 

Dr. Jung let his old friend’s life slip between his fingers. He falls to his knees and weeps. 

Now Ha Sooyoung, Hyunjin and two beautiful twins were left without a father. 

One that he couldn’t fix 

~~~~ 

_ Seven years ago.  _

Sooyoung has changed a lot in the past two years. She’s grown taller, her face has matured a bit and her whole personality has taken Jinsoul for a loop. 

She’s waiting for her at the entrance, they’ve been in highschool for little over a month now. Jinsoul doesn’t know exactly when the change happened but she didn’t want to blame it on the sudden… 

It’s been two years without him now. 

Her best friend has gotten a lot more clingy but Jinsoul didn’t mind it at all. More or less she fed into it. Giving Sooyoung the attention she wanted whenever she needed. 

Jinsoul was becoming popular, fast. People seemed drawn to her. She was incredibly nice and liked talking to everyone. It helped that she was pretty and one of the stars on the volleyball team despite being a freshman. 

Her heart quickens up when she sees the bus pull in. She bounces on her feet, almost impatient to see her best friend.

In reality, she had became needy too. 

People talked about it a lot. While they brushed it off as Jinsoul just being the kind person she was they looked oddly towards Sooyoung. 

Sometimes she couldn’t help it. Jinsoul just wanted to kiss Sooyoung’s cheek and see her blush red and hide her face in her elbow. Or hold her hand just to keep her close. 

People found it strange that they were so attached with one another. 

Sooyoung had become shy, a lot different than the girl that Jinsoul had grew up with. Rugged with a temper with a short fuse. It was like the roles had reversed. While she’d walk through the halls with her head held high, Sooyoung would meekly follow behind her. 

She’d smile while Sooyoung would look at the floor.

Jinsoul didn’t want to come off as possessive, but seeing that she was the only one that Sooyoung was comfortable with, made her zone out in class. How she couldn’t wait to rush out and go find the girl in the hallways to lock elbows with her. 

To see that smile. 

Sooyoung was all hers. 

Jinsoul leans on her tiptoes and bounces watching the kids come off the bus. Finally, she squeals when she sees Sooyoung. Her eyes still closed from lack of sleep. 

There was a reason Sooyoung wasn’t getting any sleep, because Jinsoul would usually keep her up all night on the phone.

Skipping towards her best friend she pulls her into a tight hug, earning a groan or two from the taller girl. Jinsoul only giggles and walks them towards the entrance. Sooyoung awkwardly shuffled her feet since Jinsoul didn’t give her much room to walk. 

“Good morning sleepy head.” Jinsoul sing songs to Sooyoung who was glaring at her. They walk through the hallway side by side. Sometimes Jinsoul had to give Sooyoung some space because oddly enough the girl really liked being alone. 

Unlike they used to, they didn’t spend every waking moment together. Jinsoul guesses it was because they were getting older. But Sooyoung seemed like a loner, she didn’t really talk to people, only did her work and went along with the day. 

The girl really liked her peace and quiet. 

So now, when they did find time to spend together, Jinsoul would cling onto her like she was going to disappear any second. Every moment she spent with Sooyoung she cherished and would smile about late a night when she’d write in her diary about the girl. 

Jinsoul squeezes into her side. Beaming a smile at Sooyoung who is sulking. 

Stopping at Sooyoung’s locker Jinsoul starts to fix the girl up. Her tie was crooked, her shirt was not tucked into her skirt and she had a bit of chocolate on her face. “God do I really have to do this every morning?” Sooyoung smacks her hand away. 

“Yup!” Jinsoul glares at the older girl as she smirks. Sooyoung was still mean, but never ill-intentioned. It was more of a teasing manner. So Jinsoul licks her thumb to rub the chocolate off ignoring how Sooyoung’s eyes hood at the sight. 

Then with a wink she grabs the collar of the girls shirt and pulls her close. Jinsoul redoes the tie and everytime Sooyoung tries to pull away, she just tugs her right back in. Finally she redoes some of the buttons of the girls shirt and tucks the front in her skirt. 

Sooyoung grumbles out a thanks and opens up her locker. Jinsoul only rubs at her back as she’s pulling out her books for the day. Sometimes, she couldn’t keep her hands to herself. How could she when her best friend was this cute and soft.

Sooyoung hums at the affection and leans into her touch. “Hey Jinsoul!” She turns around and sees some of the girls from her literature class. One of them was named Nayeon and the other was Jihyo. 

Quickly, Jinsoul falls into conversation with them. They’re nice girls, she guesses. They’ve never went passed a simple conversation. But Jinsoul knows they’re not  _ nice _ like she was, because they don’t even spare a glance at Sooyoung. 

It makes her blood boil. 

Jinsoul could already tell Sooyoung was falling behind her socially. She never thought something like that would happen. Sooyoung has never been the timid type and was more headstrong. In highschool she avoided others and didn’t say anything when people would gossip about her. 

There was another reason too, Jinsoul tended to forget about it. Like right now, when she doesn’t notice the stares Sooyoung is receiving in the hall. 

She already had a hefty group of friends, Sooyoung didn’t have a single one. Jinsoul considered her best friend sense of humor pretty entertaining and she was truly gorgeous, not counting the fact that she was such a thoughtful person. So she didn’t understand why people didn’t accept Sooyoung as easily as they did her.

Maybe Jinsoul was a bit bias. 

Not wanting to leave Sooyoung out she reaches behind her to try and find her hand so she can hold it. Just to let the girl know she still remembered she exist. 

The one thing Jinsoul didn’t want to happen between them was distance. She didn’t want to drift apart from Sooyoung because she was gaining popularity. Jinsoul would make sure that Sooyoung was her priority.

Jinsoul wouldn’t allow Sooyoung to think that she’d forgotten about her just because she had new friends. No Sooyoung was still the most important, this was just being friendly. 

They wouldn’t become estranged childhood best friends. Jinsoul wouldn’t fall into one crowd while Sooyoung was left behind alone. Thinking that Jinsoul has lost interest in her.

Except when she feels around for her favorite hand to hold it isn’t there. Jinsoul turns around and Sooyoung’s not there. Her heart sinks along with her smile. 

Jinsoul hopes that Sooyoung doesn’t think that she was forgetting about her. 

~~~~ 

At lunch she searches the cafeteria before finding her. Jinsoul skips along the crowd to Sooyoung who was sitting alone at a table. “Hey you!” The girl is picking at the school lunch which looked nasty Jinsoul wasn’t going to lie but it was strange seeing Sooyoung so...small. 

The girls shoulders were slumped and her face was all sad. Jinsoul hated it. Sitting down she reaches for her hand, “Sooyoung what’s wrong?” Expecting her hand to get squeezed like it usually does she frowns when Sooyoung pulls it away. 

“It’s nothing Jinsoul,” Sooyoung looks at her with dark eyes. Almost glossy with tears. She doesn’t say anything though because when something was bothering Sooyoung it wouldn’t come out if she asked. Jinsoul had to be patient. So they eat their lunch together in silence, thankfully the next time she tries to hold her hand underneath the booth Sooyoung allows it. 

Some of the girls from earlier come by and only look at Jinsoul, ignoring the girl in front of her. “Hey you wanna sit with us?” Jinsoul blinks at the two and looks to Sooyoung, who has her head tilted down. 

“Um sure!” Jinsoul slides out of her seat and pulls Sooyoung up with her. If today could get any worse it does. 

The two look at Sooyoung for the first time, “actually we...didn’t mean her too.” 

Jinsoul cracks a smile, when she’d like to crack a fist into each of their faces. “you know what! I don’t want to so...bye!” They stare at Jinsoul with shocked faces as she pulls Sooyoung out by the hand. 

The girl wasn’t so happy either, “you could have sat with them I’m fine Jinsoul.” She doesn’t listen to Sooyoung and her self pity. Dragging her outside to where the athletic fields were. 

They stop at a palm tree and Jinsoul shoves Sooyoung into it before pointing a finger into her face, “I don’t like those bitches. So stop acting like I’m gonna pick them over you.” Sooyoung widens her eyes and blinks at the finger almost touching her nose. 

Jinsoul was sick of it. She didn’t want Sooyoung thinking that the only reason she still stuck by her was because she felt sorry. “I was just saying,” Jinsoul rolls her eyes at Sooyoung’s tone. 

“Well let me just say this,” she steps up closer to the girl. “Were not doing this okay?” Sooyoung knits eyebrows up, showing signs of confusion. But soon they soften back up when she finally gets it. Jinsoul is glad her message is understood. 

_ No matter what, we’ll be friends forever right?  _

_ Right Jinsoul?  _

They’re sitting underneath the tree now, Jinsoul entangles her fingers with Sooyoung’s and leans her head on the girls shoulders. “I don’t like the way they look at you.” 

She knew exactly why too, the same reason her mom...didn’t want her to be around Sooyoung. The girl never denied it, but her sexuality had been questioned a lot. 

Sooyoung liked girls. 

“You’re my best friend no matter what, I’m not sticking around out of pity, but because I love you.” 

Jinsoul had never been told directly, but Sooyoung’s hinted at it. Neither of them liked thinking about it because Sooyoung was already experiencing exclusion at school. It was all people talked about. 

She didn’t want to blame it on that. Jinsoul wanted it to be because Sooyoung was shy and that she barely talked. 

Not something as innocent as love. 

Leaning back she turns her face to see Sooyoung already looking at her. The girl blushes and quickly changes the direction of her gaze. Jinsoul only gently cups the side of her face and brings her back, “you know that right?” 

Sooyoung nods and closes her eyes to the touch. Jinsoul gets embarrassed when she hums, “I can’t believe you called them bitches.” They break out into giggles and Jinsoul finds a way to fit into Sooyoung. 

“Well they are? I miss it when you would just slap kids silly when they were mean to us.” She hums and stuffs her face into Sooyoung’s arm. Jinsoul guesses they can spend the rest of lunch here. Leaned against each other.

When Sooyoung replies she can feel the movement against her cheek, “when they were mean to you Jinsoul, they’re not anymore and I don’t mind it.” She doesn’t like that answer but Sooyoung doesn’t let her argue. 

Jinsoul shuts up when Sooyoung tells her to. 

She ends up falling asleep, Sooyoung was just too comfy.

They skip the rest of classes just to nap underneath the sun. Jinsoul would catch up in no time. But she didn’t want to lose a chance to be with Sooyoung. 

~~~~ 

Covering her face up she flinches every time she hears the loud snap of her coach's voice. He was yelling right in Sooyoung’s face and Jinsoul couldn’t bare to watch. 

No freshman girl should be broken down like that by a man pushing 50. Jinsoul may have been a star on the team, but Sooyoung was  _ the  _ star of the team. Already, Sooyoung was starting on the varsity team as a defensive specialist. 

She was quick, it was almost unbelievable. Although Sooyoung was really good at the sport, their coach constantly zoned in on her. She wasn’t perfect of course, but she was amazing. Jinsoul sometimes wanted to strangle the man from how harsh he could be to Sooyoung. 

Peeking through her fingers she feels tears building up in her eyes. Sooyoung only nods and bites her lips as she’s cussed at and called everything in the book. 

Jinsoul doesn’t know how this passes as coaching but hey, he’s took teams to state for the past 17 years. 

“Damn it!” He finally walks away and blows the whistle. It was the end of practice. Everyone stares at Sooyoung who was still nodding her head. 

One of the seniors shake her head and pat Sooyoung on the back before heading to the locker room. 

Jinsoul doesn’t understand. Walking up to Sooyoung she grabs her on the elbow, “come on let’s go home.” For the first time ever Sooyoung jerks away from her touch. Like Jinsoul burned her. 

Holding her breath she watches Sooyoung chew on her nails. “I’m gonna stay and practice some more.” Jinsoul isn’t going to let that happen, they’ve already practiced for almost three and a half hours. Sooyoung needed the rest. 

Grabbing her arm again Sooyoung pushes her off, “fuck off Jinsoul.” 

The tear that was hidden in her eye actually falls. Sooyoung was breaking, she didn’t know what to do about it. She’s been breaking for two years and this was the first visible crack. 

And while Jinsoul thought she’d be the one to pick up the pieces. The one that puts Sooyoung back together. She’s actually the one that shatters Sooyoung. 

She just doesn’t know it yet. 

~~~~ 

Popping an apple slice in her mouth she continues with her story, “then he just ignored the teacher and kept dribbling the ball like a dumbass.” Sooyoung smiles at her and Jinsoul can’t help but feel warm inside. 

This weeks been normal, well the past few have been normal. Sooyoung was starting to be more relaxed at school. Jinsoul didn’t feel this weird tension with her and they were finally talking again. 

Of course Jinsoul didn’t avoid her when Sooyoung was giving her the silent treatment. They just hung out...without saying anything which was kinda weird. 

But one day it started to ease out. Now they were back to normal, actually Jinsoul would consider it better than normal. It was like the summer before they came into highschool and didn’t worry about anything except for having fun. 

It finally felt like just the two of them again. 

Holding up her spoon she feeds Sooyoung a bite of her pudding. Jinsoul can’t help but scrunch her nose up at Sooyoung. She really was too cute for her own good.

Their feet are interlocked underneath the table and the skin of Jinsoul’s leg burns against Sooyoung’s. They don’t notice the wandering eyes of the school. 

Jinsoul starts to complain about her teacher overloading her with homework as she continues to feed Sooyoung her pudding. As they play footsie under the table she leans closer and closer to the girl. Her voice getting quieter. 

Sooyoung listens to her closely, with one hand resting underneath her jaw. That was one thing Jinsoul loved about Sooyoung. How she would just sit there and lend an ear. She just stared with soft eyes would make Jinsoul feel some type of way. 

Lunch is almost over and Jinsoul can’t help but pout. She wishes she had at least one class with Sooyoung but nope, she didn’t have one. Jinsoul’s already gotten her phone taken from texting the girl too much during class. 

“Did you hear Sunmi’s new song?” Jinsoul raises her brow and shakes her head. Sooyoung squeals and breaks out her iPod and goes to her music, “listen!” Jinsoul lays over cross the table. The excitement bubbling in her chest from seeing Sooyoung so...happy. 

She really missed seeing that smile. 

Her best friend breaks into rant about her favorite pop star. Apparently she was doing some solo stuff on the side. Jinsoul bops her head to music until Sooyoung blurts out, “god she’s so hot.” Jinsoul stops and looks at Sooyoung. Who is red as a tomato with her eyes closed. “Um I mean- I.”

Jinsoul thinks quickly, she wanted to make Sooyoung comfortable, “I know right!” Sooyoung blinks at her and she only smiles. 

The next thing she knows Sooyoung is going on and on about Sunmi and how she absolutely adores her. She loved when Sooyoung would just blabber on like this. It was her turn to listen.

Jinsoul sighs to herself, because she absolutely adored Sooyoung. 

~~~~ 

Walking into her sisters room she groans, “I can’t take it anymore Chaewon!” Jinsoul throws herself onto the pink sheets and receives a curse or two from her 13 year old sister. 

“Not today Jinsoul I’m...busy.” Jinsoul looks over. Chaewon was just going to town on some rhythm game. She didn’t look that busy. 

Jinsoul gets comfortable in the bed and Chaewon rolls her eyes. Knowing she’s not getting rid of her anytime soon unless she listens to her. Shutting her DS off she gently puts it down before kicking Jinsoul. “OW!” 

“YOU ALWAYS RUIN MY PEACE!” Jinsoul feigned offense before giggling to herself. Chaewon was going to sit there and listen or she would tell their evil mother that the younger girl messed up her blender again. 

Laying on her tummy and propping her feet up she starts, “she was so freaking adorable today Chae I can’t take it anymore! One of these days I’m actually gonna have a heart attack.” 

“You always say this, everytime.” 

“Listen! After practice it was so  _ mmh _ her hair was in this cute ponytail and she was all smiley have I told you how much I love her smile? Oh chae she was like  _ ‘we talking tonight _ ?’ I thought I was gonna pass out!” Chaewon watches her sister grab her chest and sigh, kicking her feet against the mattress. 

She keeps going on and on about Sooyoung. Chaewon is thankful that Jinsoul hasn’t been sad in the past couple months and all the talking has been easy to ignore. What wasn't easy to ignore was when Jinsoul was crying over Sooyoung. Now that’s when Chaewon actually listened. 

Her sister...really really liked Ha Sooyoung. Why? Chaewon wasn’t for sure. She guesses Sooyoung was pretty, well...she would rather not comment(she thought Sooyoung was cute too). But besides that the only thing Chaewon liked about her sister's best friend was that she was really funny. 

Chaewon’s been getting these talks for almost a year now. At first it was just talking about Sooyoung, what they did that day and how she was doing. Then progressively Chaewon noticed her sister kept smiling and twirling her hair. 

Blushing, whenever she’d say the girl’s name.

Jinsoul now would talk about how much she liked this and that thing about Sooyoung.  _ How much she loved her _ .

“Her hands are so much bigger than mine! It’s like we’re meant to be together Chaewon I really think...oh wait!” Jinsoul’s cell is ringing, pulling it out she squeals when she sees the contact. Chaewon looks over as well and gags at contact name. 

_ My baby <3<3<3 is calling  _

Jinsoul scrambles to answer it and Chaewon watches as the girl gets happier and happier as she talks on the phone with the one and only. The younger girl rolls her eyes, her sister was so lovesick. 

“Stop playing, you know I would come over.” Chaewon goes back to playing her rhythm game when Jinsoul starts flirting. Pacing back and forth in her room, giggling onto the speaker. It’s sick, Chaewon thinks it’s sick how bad Jinsoul has it for Sooyoung.  _ Can’t believe she a bird. _

Jinsoul bites her lip at the low mumble of Sooyoung’s voice, she didn’t know why, but the sleepy tone was addicting to listen to. “Sooyoung, if you don’t…” The girl was telling her that she was watching this really cool movie, that she wishes Jinsoul was there with her. 

She doesn’t end up getting to go stay over with Sooyoung, but she stays on the phone with her until she falls asleep. Jinsoul listens to the soft snores on the line while she pulls out pen and paper. 

The thumping in her chest driving her to write out the words. 

_ Dear Ha Sooyoung  _

_ I want to tell you how you how much I love seeing you smile.  _

~~~~ 

Adjusting her hat Jinsoul runs to the door. Behind her was a shit ton of people, kids and their parents, all dressed up as creatures of the night and super heros. It was Halloween at the Jung house and every year they threw a big party. While Jinsoul had a strained relationship with her parents, well really, just her dad since she’s never had one to begin with, with her mom. They always made the effort in making it seem like they were the perfect family. 

So parties like this happened. Where her mom would chit chat with all the parents, talking about herself mostly and the new book she was writing. While her dad would stuff his face in the kitchen. 

Most of the adults stuck around in the ball room and dining area, places Jinsoul never sat foot. Their place was a mansion but rarely did she come out of her room if she wasn’t at Sooyoung’s. Jinsoul’s friends and some kids from school...a lot of them were in the lounge down the hall. 

All night she’s stuck by the door. Waiting for her best friend to come. She felt out of place without her. Opening the door up she gasps first, then blurts the first words that come to mind, “oh my god...woah.” Sooyoung smiles at her before her siblings knock into her running inside. Jinsoul is still awestruck as she stares at Sooyoung. 

Mrs.Jung across the room snarls her nose up in disgust. At the rowdy kids, at her daughter being all smiley with  _ her _ , and most of all, the pretty woman that walks in that gives Jinsoul a hug. Jinsoul never hugged her. 

“You look cute my little one!” Ms. Ha pinches her cheek and Jinsoul giggles. 

Sooyoung is still smiling behind them, “please I’m grown now Miss Ha.” The woman only chuckles at her before giving her forehead a kiss. She walks off into the kitchen, probably to go find Jinsoul’s aunt she was really good friends with. 

Jinsoul groans when Sooyoung tilts her hat down over her face, “what’s up cowgirl.” Her view is only brown now but she can still hear the melody of Sooyoung’s giggle.

“I’m not a cowgirl! I’m Woody from toy story!” Pushing her hat back up she loses her breath again. Since when was Sooyoung this pretty? Jinsoul melts in her spot and laughs off her nerves. Sooyoung had a black suit on, with a hood made with cat ears and a pair of yellow goggles perched on her head. 

Taking in a deep breath she shakes her head when Sooyoung asks her, “you like my costume?” She doesn’t know how to answer. Of course she liked it, probably more than she should. Jinsoul was finally understanding how girls could go crazy over their crushes. How your thoughts went blank and all you could do was bounce on your feet and laugh at their jokes. The feeling of your insides going to mush whenever they smiled at you 

“Janet Jackson?” 

Sooyoung’s breathtaking smile drops, “no dumbass I’m catwoman.” Jinsoul smacks her arm but still laughs because god Sooyoung was so damn pretty. She thinks she died and gone to heaven when Sooyoung hugged her tightly for a greeting. “But your my dumbass.” Jinsoul swoons in her arms and Sooyoung pretends to drop her for a second before holding back on. 

Jinsoul squeals and they immediately fall into conversation. Forgetting about the crowd behind them. After all, when Sooyoung was around, Jinsoul tended to only look at her. 

Sitting on a couch, back where all their classmates are. Jinsoul leans her head back onto the cushion. She has a cup of punch in her hand, while the other one plays with Sooyoung’s utility belt. The girl was talking about volleyball, Jinsoul was having her turn in being the listener. 

It was like being a secret tucked away in this crowded room. All the people around sharing gossip with each other. Telling each other secrets.

But really she had the biggest secret in the room. 

Jinsoul had the biggest crush on Sooyoung. 

Not always has she known it, but she started figuring things out about a year ago. How she wanted to kiss Sooyoung and how she wanted to have that cheesy romance with her. Jinsoul’s heart would race thinking about it. Jinsoul wanted to go on dates with her, wanted to see her waiting by her locker every morning. To hold her hand while hanging out. 

What most girls where begging for at this age. Their first boyfriend. Jinsoul was praying that it would be Sooyoung. 

Although she really didn’t know how to go about it. 

Of course, they were already close, and well she didn’t have to worry about Sooyoung to be repulsed by it. But still it was so scary. She was sure she was in love. God she had to be in love or she wouldn’t feel this way. 

Jinsoul wrote love letters, every night, for almost a year now.

Sometimes they would be short and to the point. Just saying how cute Sooyoung’s ears looked. Sometimes they’d be pages long describing how much she adored Sooyoung. Detailing her desire for them to be something forever. 

As they got older, Sooyoung got prettier, Jinsoul got more lovesick. Her stupid homones and the flowing happy chemicals in her brain made her . Jinsoul wasn’t for sure how she was going to survive much longer if Sooyoung wasn’t hers. 

She’s spent a lot of time reading about it, romance. Love. Crushes. 

There was only one cure, either heartbreak or a confession.

Jinsoul wasn’t surprised to find herself falling in love with her best friend. But how couldn’t she, Sooyoung was perfect. 

She doesn’t realize how close she’s leaned in listening to Sooyoung until a deep voice pulls them apart. “Hey Jinsoul you and Sooyoung wanna play?” Jinsoul pulls her gaze away from Sooyoung and up to someone familiar. It’s Doyeon, probably the most popular freshman. 

The girl rubbed Jinsoul wrong in many ways. While it was nice at first, having someone actually pay attention to Sooyoung, Jinsoul soon would find herself getting annoyed at how much the taller girl would touch her best friend. 

However, she would play nice for now. “Sure!” Spin the bottle wasn’t the most ideal game. Especially when it was affiliated with truth or dare. But Jinsoul drags Sooyoung off the couch and into the middle of the floor. 

There’s a bunch of girls and boys around and it makes Jinsoul nervous. They were all looking at Sooyoung. 

The game goes on pretty normally, there’s a lot of kissing and stupid dares. Also a lot of gossip from people picking truth. 

When it’s Jinsoul’s turn to go she gulps nervously. Sooyoung’s turn was truth, they asked her if she liked someone in the room. 

Sooyoung had said yes and it was all Jinsoul could think about. Who did her best friend like? Was it her? There were so many girls that it was hard to tell. But  _ Sooyoung  _ liked someone. 

There was a chance it wasn’t her. 

Jinsoul doesn’t know what she’d do if Sooyoung likes someone else. Her life would be over she thinks. The thought of Sooyoung being with someone else made her want to vomit. 

Spinning the bottle they all watch it spin until it lands on...Sooyoung. 

Jinsoul blurts the first thing to come to mind, “dare.” She was still thinking about Sooyoung. 

Some boy in the corner celebrates but she doesn’t notice. Sooyoung does however and starts to get paranoid. “I dare you to...go into the closet with Ha for ten minutes.” Jinsoul blinks at the girl across from them. Why was that a dare. 

“And you have to kiss her.” 

_ Oh _

“That’s one to many, do you know how to count dumbass?” Sooyoung protests and Jinsoul looks over towards her. She doesn’t like the look on Sooyoung’s face. It makes her heart drop. 

The girl shrugs, “I don’t make the rules and it could just be a cheek kiss or something.” Sooyoung visibly relaxes and Jinsoul tenses up. Was the thought of kissing her that bad? They’ve kissed before...was it… 

Sooyoung liked someone in this room. 

And it wasn’t Jinsoul. 

Sooyoung was freaking out and Jinsoul knew why now. Why she was making that terrified face. Sooyoung didn’t like her in that way, Jinsoul wants to cry. 

Her first love didn’t love her back. 

She isn’t given time to think about it when they’re shoved in a dark closet down the hall. Jinsoul’s heart is beating so loudly. The people outside either go silent or leave. 

It’s silent for at least a minute, “it smells in here don’t you think?” Jinsoul is staring at the outline of Sooyoung’s silhouette. All those thoughts of  _ them  _ going on dates _ , them  _ holding hands.  _ Her  _ kissing Sooyoung is changed into a faceless girl. 

One that Jinsoul was jealous of, afraid of. She doesn’t know how she’d survive. But she would, because all in all she was still Sooyoung’s best friend. 

So she’d fight through it, just to give Sooyoung support and lend an ear like her sister has given her when talking about  _ her _ crush on Sooyoung. 

But still Jinsoul is nosy, “who you have a crush on?” 

“Huh?” 

“Don’t do me Sooyoung you said you like someone, who?” Jinsoul’s tone gets more and more strained biting back tears. 

Her best friend has the audacity to lie to her, “I was just doing that to shut them up.” 

“Oh please, I saw how red your face was! Sooyoung don’t act like I don’t know you!” Jinsoul didn’t expect it to blow out into an argument but she was so bitter and jealous. 

She doesn’t notice how close they’ve gotten in the closet, they’re whisper-yelling into each other’s faces until Sooyoung whines out, “isn’t it obvious Jinsoul!” She’s about to retort until her mind goes blank. 

Obvious? How could it be, Sooyoung never showed signs of liking someone. “Isn’t it obvious, god you’re so stupid sometimes.” 

“I’m not stupid!” 

“Clearly you are!” Jinsoul shuts up then. Looking at her watch she sighs. They only had three minutes left. 

Sooyoung is close to her and the closet becomes stuffy. She can feel the heat radiating off the girl’s body and it makes her stomach twist. “It can be on the cheek right?”  _ Oh _ , yeah the dare. Jinsoul had almost forgot. 

However, she was feeling bold. Still she felt angry that she didn’t know about Sooyoung’s crush but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have her way. She could give Sooyoung a reason to forget about whoever that girl was, “what if I don’t want to there?” 

“Oh…” Jinsoul almost misses the heat of Sooyoung backing away. Before she grabs the girls costume belt and jerks her back closer, closer than before to her. Sooyoung’s breath hitches at the promixiety of their faces. 

This is what Jinsoul’s dreamed about, tilting her head up she likes how Sooyoung is just a bit taller than her. “You’re so stupid sometimes too Sooyoungie.” In the darkness she tries to find her favorite pair of lips. 

It’s hard but she can feel Sooyoung’s hot breath. She uses it for guidance. When their noses bump together that’s when she closes her eyes. Gripping on tightly to the girl’s belt she shivers when hands go to grip her waist. 

They’re shaking against her and it’s the same feeling she has in her chest. She was so anxious, but at the same time eager to just lean forward and claim what was hers. 

She can hear Sooyoung swallow. It drives her closer, so close she can feel the ghost of her lips against hers. Chills run up and down her spine when Sooyoung squeezes on her. 

God this was so much better than what she imagined. 

But dreams don’t always last, when the door to the closet opens. They break apart and Jinsoul watches in horror as Sooyoung is squirted with something unimaginable with a water gun. It smells and it covers the girl. 

Jinsoul is breathing hard as they all laugh and call Sooyoung names. Some of the boys even push on her. Jinsoul starts to cry, this was a nightmare compared to earlier. 

“ _ Yo miss dyke! You really thought you were gonna get it with Jinsoul!”  _

_ “Bitch really thought…”  _

_ “Jinsoul probably was scared shitless in there, I would be too if I saw those chiclets for teeth trying kiss me!”  _

_ “Please Jinsoul’s such a dumb bitch she probably doesn’t even know that weirdo drools over her.” _

Sooyoung reverts back to her old self, and slams her fist into the first jaw she sees. Jinsoul cringed when she heard the crack. Sooyoung proceeds to fight, it’s at least a few boys. 

She’s sobbing when Sooyoung gets elbowed in the nose. 

Jinsoul sees her mother and Ms. Ha run in with a bunch of other adults. Breaking up the fight, Sooyoung stills kicks a few times and is pulled away by her mom while this random boy was held by his dad. 

“Fuck you! Don’t ever talk about Jinsoul like that!” Ms. Ha tries to calm her daughter down, who had a busted nose and a nasty gash above her eye. Mrs. Jung shakes her head, her party was ruined. 

Jinsoul clenches her fist tightly when her mom looks at her, “what happened?” 

She’s about to tell the truth, until the boy who started it blabbers out, “that weirdo was trying to kiss Jinsoul so we stopped it!” 

Jinsoul watches her mothers face morph into anger and disgust, “that’s not what happened Mom!” Mrs. Jung doesn’t even look at her. Only at Ms. Ha and Sooyoung. 

Her sisters are piled behind her. The twins cling to Hyunjin. Jinsoul’s mom goes to point right into Sooyoung’s mom’s face, “you and your kids are a bunch of animals! How dare you let them ruin this for me!” 

“Momma why she sound like a villain,” Hyunjin asks from behind. 

“I don’t know baby.” 

Mrs. Jung starts to get red in the face, “especially this one right here.” Sooyoung grimaces at the pointing finger. “She’s corrupting my daughter! Jinsoul is going to have trauma from all of this! It’s not natural, she is a freak and I will not allow my daughter to be influenced by her!” 

Sooyoung hangs her head down low, “she is going to ruin Jinsoul! And those gremlins behind you are going to ruin Chaewon!” 

“Stay away from me and my family!” 

_ Stay away from my daughter _

Mrs. Jung steps forward but Ms. Ha pushes her back, “listen you fucking mess of a bitch, you will not sit here and disrespect me or my children.” 

“I don’t give a fuck of what you think, but the only thing gonna ruin your kids is your manipulative self.” Jinsoul is staring at Sooyoung who is protectively held by her mother. “I should teach you something by calling my daughter a freak. You should be ashamed of yourself talking to a child like that, she’s perfectly fine the way she is.” 

Ms. Ha spares a glance at her, “and Jinsoul and Chaewon are amazing kids, so you shouldn’t be worried about anyone but yourself, because you the only one that’s gonna ruin them.” With that the Ha family leaves. 

Everyone is silent in the room as they shuffle out. Jinsoul is stuck at the corner of the room. Her mother comes over to check on her, “don’t touch me!” She was so embarrassed. 

Jinsoul runs up to her room and slams the door, throwing down the cowboy hat. She hated her mother more than anyone and many times she would get speeches on how she should start looking for a boyfriend. 

Jinsoul knew her mother would never accept her but she didn’t care. Because the Ha family would and that’s all that mattered. She loved Sooyoung, she would be with her. 

All those words she said about Sooyoung, it ignited a fire in Jinsoul. 

The only thing Jinsoul worries about was her father. If he didn’t accept it, then maybe it would hurt then, only then. Crying in to her pillow she thinks of Sooyoung. She hopes she’s okay.

Sooyoung’s mom cleans her daughters face, she shakes her head. Those kids were so damn mean and for what? Because her daughter was a little different? 

She was proud of Sooyoung and so thankful to have a child like her. All her children she were thankful for. She loved them so much, “momma are you mad at me?” She shakes her head and kisses Sooyoung in the forehead before hugging the girl. 

“Am I a freak?” It breaks her heart to hear it. How this world could be so cruel to them. That woman was the absolute devil. She’d like Sooyoung to stay away from it all. But judging by the looks of it, Jinsoul was someone special to Sooyoung. 

She wasn’t the one to mess with a love like that, “no baby, you’re not a freak. I love you no matter what okay?” She leans back and cradles her daughters face. “Don’t listen to none of them, they were born without a heart. Now you smell, go run the bath.” Sooyoung giggles and pulls away. 

Watching her daughter move up the steps she stops her one last time, “oh and Sooyoung?” The girl turns and looks at her. She’ll protect her baby no matter what, and support her for the rest of her life. 

“I think she likes you too.” 

Her goal was the keep that smile on her baby’s face, the one that she was looking at right now. 

~~~~ 

The next morning Sooyoung is getting a big pancake breakfast. She eats her grits and eggs before digging into the stack of cakes her mom made her. 

Her mother kisses her on the head before telling her she loves her very much. Sooyoung really feels it in her heart, her family was the best. 

Meanwhile Jinsoul’s mother is lecturing to her. How Sooyoung is an abomination with the rest of the Ha family and that she is forbidden to see them again. 

Jinsoul is told she will find a boyfriend and finally realize what’s wrong with what she has with Sooyoung. She’s told that Sooyoung is someone who will turn up nothing life, she won’t bring Jinsoul the love and success she deserves. 

Jinsoul is to focus on herself. Not some girl who distracted her.

Sooyoung is nothing but some poor trouble maker, only manipulating Jinsoul for her own selfish and evil needs. 

Jinsoul yawns, this was so boring. As long as her dad didn’t say anything then nothing would happen. She could take her mother’s harsh words over and over again. 

As long as she had her father’s support, then it would be alright. 

~~~~

Jinsoul throws rocks at her window, she bounces up and down when she sees Sooyoung’s head pop out. 

“You know you could just go through the door!” Jinsoul shakes her head. 

“Ain’t I cuter this way though?” Batting her eyelashes and squishing her own cheeks, Sooyoung scoffs at her. Jinsoul then rushes into the warm home and up the steps to her best friend. 

Bursting into the door she melts when she sees Sooyoung’s battered face, “my poor baby!” Sooyoung grumbles as Jinsoul rushes toward her to plant soft kisses all over it, squeezing the girl tightly into her arms. 

They haven’t talked in a few days, since technically Jinsoul was grounded, and didn’t have her phone. She had sneaked out however and now she was apologizing over and over again for what had happened at the party. 

Sitting on the bed Jinsoul stares at the bandages on her face. “I’m so-“ 

“Stop you’ve already said that fifteen times.” Jinsoul sulks and finally shuts up. She stares at the carpet for a moment before going back to taking in Sooyoung. 

It’s killing her, she really wants Sooyoung to tell her who she likes. Maybe she thought Jinsoul would be grossed out if it was a girl at first. “I know Sooyoung...that you’re um g-gay.” Sooyoung slowly turns her head toward her. With her eyes narrowed. “I’m not bothered by it at all, in fact! I think it’s neat.” 

Jinsoul starts to blush and feel nervous under Sooyoung’s glare. Until the girl bursts out into laughter, Jinsoul doesn’t know what’s so funny but she laughs along. 

She chokes up when Sooyoung giggles out, “god Jindori you’re so cute.” It’s a blow to the heart. One that feels way too good to be true. 

She takes her chance with Sooyoung’s good mood, “will you tell me who you like now?” Sooyoung smiles and tilts her head before taking a deep breath. Jinsoul swallows harshly when the girl nods her head. 

Sooyoung wiggles a finger for Jinsoul to come closer and so she does. Gripping at Sooyoung’s sheets as she does so. Sooyoung scoots closer to her, laying a hand over hers before leaning in. Jinsoul closes her eyes when Sooyoung’s lips barely touch her ear, her stomach turns into nothing but knots. 

_ You’re the only girl that I like.  _

Jinsoul pulls back quickly and falls in love a little bit more. The blush dusting across Sooyoung’s cheeks makes it unbelievable, was she dreaming. “Why would I like someone more than you?” Shaking her head she shrugs. 

She can’t stop staring into Sooyoung’s eyes that were filled with affection. When her gaze moves to her lips, Jinsoul can’t seem to think or breathe anymore. “I wish we had more time at the party...in the closet.” 

“Yeah?” 

Jinsoul nods her head, suddenly her lips are dry so she licks them. It’s noticed by Sooyoung who now was slowly leaning forward. “Well we have all the time in the world now.” 

Just like at the party, their noses bump together and Jinsoul tilts her head to the right. She had a death grip onto Sooyoung’s sheets now. Closing her eyes she can only hear the shallow breath that comes from Sooyoung’s lips and the drumming beat of her heart. 

Two years she hasn’t kissed Sooyoung like this. But this time it’s all different. 

_ So much different. _

Their lips meet hesitantly and a thousand fireworks go off in Jinsoul’s head. Sooyoung’s lips were  _ so soft.  _ Pulling back she finally starts to breathe again. Their eyes flutter open and Jinsoul can see how dilated Sooyoung’s pupils are. 

The girl looks about as in love as she was. 

_ Isn’t it obvious Jinsoul? _

Oh...Oh! 

Jinsoul surges forward at that moment. She felt like the luckiest dumbass in the world. Throwing her arms around Sooyoung’s shoulders she smacks her lips onto the girl’s over and over again. This was  _ so much  _ better than she imagined. 

It was addicting. 

The kiss is awkward but neither of them want to pull back. It was something the both of them had been waiting in forever. Jinsoul’s lips start to swell up from how much they kiss, Sooyoung’s hands rub at her back as they keep at it. 

It’s an incredibly sloppy kiss. Nothing like in the movies, but Jinsoul pulls closer and closer to Sooyoung. Almost trying to crawl in her lap, when she chews on her bottom lip Jinsoul almost passes out. 

The door opens and Jinsoul screams as she’s shoved off, “OOPS SORRY!” 

Sooyoung stares at Jinsoul who was tossed on the floor and back to her mom standing with a wide smile at the door, “mom…” Sooyoung groans out and Jinsoul blinks out of her fuzziness. 

Sooyoung was such a good kisser. 

They start to argue then, or more that Ms. Ha is teasing while Sooyoung whines and cries. Jinsoul is pulled back up and sat on the bed by her best friend. 

Ms. Ha is smiling at her daughter, she really didn’t expect to walk in to see the two teenagers making out. But it almost felt like a relief. Looking past her embarrassed daughter she sees Jinsoul smiling devilishly, still touching her lips as if that didn’t just happen. 

Later that night Jinsoul is still buzzing from the kiss, as she and Sooyoung watch a movie on the couch, entangled with each other. 

Snuggling into the girls chest she thinks, 

This must be the best feeling in the world. 

~~~~ 

This must be the worst feeling in the world. Dr. Jung stares at the glass shattered everywhere in the kitchen, his daughter sits crying in the middle of it all rubbing her cheek. 

His wife had slapped her, he had walked in right after it happened. He stands idly by as papers are shoved into his face. 

He’s had a long day at work, he just wanted to pop open a bottle and start drinking. 

“Look at this! LOOK!” 

He doesn’t look, he doesn’t care. Jinsoul is sniffling in the corner of the kitchen. “ _ Our  _ daughter is writing love letters to that one  _ freak  _ of a child Ha Sooyoung.” He closes his eyes, he just wants to drink.

“Jinsoul go up to room okay?” He calmly says. 

He looks at his daughter that looked as broken as the glass on the floor, “okay daddy.” The girl runs away as her mother scoffs and rips some more of the papers up. 

“It’s not right! She’s going to end up becoming nothing in life, you’ll have no legacy!” He stares at his wife...the person he hates the most.

“Who gives a fuck about legacy.” 

She gasps and looks at him, “you’re telling me you don’t care? That it doesn’t bother you that our daughter is writing love letters to a ****?” Mrs. Jung seethes out, like it was the most disgusting thing in the world. 

“She should only be enamored with men! Think about our image!” He narrows his eyes. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

Dropping his bags he shakes his head, “she’s fourteen, I would rather her be with someone known her whole life than some boy who only has one thing on his mind.” 

“Oh and that girl doesn’t?” 

Dr. Jung shakes his head. He shuffled toward the cabinet to get his bottle of whisky. He was nothing now, he couldn’t even protect his daughter. 

“How would people look at us if our daughter grew up to be with someone like that, I won’t have it!” 

Taking a big swig he feels a bit better feeling the burn go down his throat, “then don’t, Jinsoul can do what she pleases to, we can’t dictate her life like that. We can only support her.” 

It’s silent then, he keeps chugging the alcohol down. “Don’t you want her to be a doctor?” 

“Of course I do.” He groans out, but just because he wanted her to be one didn’t mean she had to be one. 

“I want a divorce.” He slams the glass down at the words. “If you don’t do something about it, I’ll divorce you and take everything you own.” 

“Including your girls.” 

His hand shakes, the blood dripping down onto the counter. 

“You’re nothing but a lowlife, just like them.”

~~~~ 

Jinsoul is dragged through the forest, the only warmth being from Sooyoung’s hand despite being layered in clothing. The girl in front of her had a lantern that illuminated their path. 

Although they weren’t going to see the fireflies, but the moon and stars were still out there.

The leaves crunch beneath their feet and Jinsoul would be lying if she said she wasn’t scared. 

When they’re finally in the field, the grasses are all dead and make funny noises when the wind blows. Sooyoung keeps her close as the lantern creaks back and forth. 

They settle in their usual spot, where the grass has been worn down and there’s old blankets sitting around. Sooyoung sits the lantern down and lays onto the ground, waving Jinsoul to come as well. 

Something is so dreamy about this, it’s like everything is a fog around her head and the only thing clear is Sooyoung. 

She sits between her legs and leans into her front. Sooyoung keeps her warm by wrapping her arms around her waist. Leaning her head back onto the girl’s shoulder she looks up at the sky. 

“Awe Sooyoung the sky is cloudy!” They both look at the dark sky, the stars weren’t glittering at all. The moon only peaked out from time to time. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Jinsoul shakes her head no and closes her eyes. If she can think hard enough she can see the stars in the darkness. “I have something for you.” 

She doesn’t open up she only hums when Sooyoung moves around a little bit. Suddenly there’s something being thrown around her neck. 

Jinsoul snaps her eyes open and looks down, it’s a necklace. Very similar to the one Sooyoung already gave her. Except this time it wasn’t the stars, it was a silver necklace with the pendent being a half moon. 

She gasps and holds between her fingers, it was gorgeous. “Now you’ll have the moon and stars wherever you go, you won’t ever have to miss them.” Craning her neck at an angle she goes to thank Sooyoung for such a thoughtful gift. 

But then Jinsoul gets stuck. 

The lanterns light reflects off Sooyoung’s eyes, Jinsoul doesn’t have to look for the stars tonight. They’re right there sparkling in those beautiful but dark eyes. 

_ Wow.  _

_ They’re even prettier here.  _

~~~~ 

Waving at Ms. Ha, Jinsoul runs into her home. Life was perfect and easy right now. It was getting close to Christmas and she had so much planned with Sooyoung and her family. 

Jinsoul thinks they’re dating now. 

She was really for sure, but when they hung out it was different. She could feel it in her chest and tummy. From all the fluttering and tingles. 

They haven’t kissed since that night but it was okay. Jinsoul was sure they had forever so why rush and not let things go with the flow. It was so much better that way. 

Going into the kitchen she plays with the twin set of necklaces on her chest. Today Sooyoung was telling her about some friends she had made. ,

Jinsoul was so happy. 

She stops when she sees her father and mother at the table. Her dad has a bottle of whisky, he looks so tired. Jinsoul could hardly recognize him. Her mother is smiling at her, but it doesn’t have any warmth to it. 

It’s the coldest she’s ever felt. 

“We need to talk sweetie.” 

~~~~ 

Slamming the door to her room shut she starts to have a panic attack. Jinsoul slides down the door and grips at the fabric on her chest. Her heart was stopping. 

_ You’re going to go to boarding school in Japan.  _

_ There’s this nice boy we want you to meet.  _

_ You will stop seeing Sooyoung. _

Jinsoul sobs remembering her father's face during it. He didn’t move or say a word. Only letting that woman tell Jinsoul how she was about to ruin everything for her. 

The plan left next week. They were moving to Japan, all of them. Jinsoul was going to have to block Sooyoung out and not give her a word or an excuse or even an explanation. 

She was going to meet a boy there, her mother said that he was nice. If the date went well then they would surely become an item. Jinsoul almost threw up seeing her mother's smile. 

Jinsoul had to forget about Sooyoung. She had to leave her behind. They were to become estranged and just a distant memory. It would be four years until she was able to see or even talk to her again. 

Her mother had gritted her teeth when she told Jinsoul she would make sure of it.

_ I hate you _

She screamed it at her father and who didn’t protect her. He was once her favorite person. But now it was like he didn’t even exist to her. He was an empty shell of a person. 

Jinsoul stops breathing. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	20. Jung Jinsoul part two

_ 3 years ago  _

“Fuck, she’s so hot.” Doyeon groans out and the table collectively stares at Sooyoung walking through the cafeteria. Jinsoul glares at the girl across from her and continues to aggressively chew on her lunch. She spares one glance at Sooyoung and regrets it. That boy Jinyoung is with her talking up a storm. 

It’s painful when she stares for too long. So she goes back to picking around her vegetables and fruits. In four years Sooyoung hasn’t changed a bit personality wise. Well it was better to say that she’s blossomed. The older girl was confident and popular among the students. While simultaneously being a loner, because well, Sooyoung still had that attitude from when she was younger. 

Everyone had a thing for Ha Sooyoung. 

It killed Jinsoul slowly to see people try over and over again. Scared at the fact that someday, someone actually might win Sooyoung’s heart. Jinsoul was lucky Sooyoung was a bit stubborn and mean however, it made it a challenge to even get close to her. 

“She’s a bitch though…” Jackson mumbles out and receives a bunch of protests from the table. No one notices how Jinsoul is clawing into her thigh underneath the table 

It should be her that takes up for Sooyoung, but it’s Doyeon who had once bullied the girl. “Who cares if she’s an asshole? She’s so sexy she can do whatever she wants.” That wasn’t true, well the sexy part was. Jinsoul didn’t really want to comment. But Sooyoung was actually the sweetest person ever. 

She knows, because she experienced first hand for around ten years. Somehow, she feels the one at fault for Sooyoung’s bad attitude. 

Sure Sooyoung’s never liked that many in the first place. But at least she was always polite, now however a lot of gossip was about how Ha Sooyoung has broken yet another heart or hurt someone’s feelings. 

Nothing like the shy girl Jinsoul had to hold hands with while walking to class because she was so scared. Nothing like the girl who would blush whenever someone complimented her. Nothing like the girl she was in love with. 

Who was she kidding, she was still so in love with Sooyoung. 

Because despite this harden wall Sooyoung’s built around herself, she was still that same girl. Sooyoung had just learned how to hide her emotions with a smart mouth. “Say Jinsoul was Sooyoung always like this?” Jinsoul looks up from the strawberry she was squishing. Joy and the entire table expects an answer. 

Jinsoul only shrugs. 

Nana must have been curious, because she questions Joy with a nod of her head. Jinsoul stays quiet as Joy explains the thing that eats away at her everyday of her life, “they used to be bestfriends, grew up together and all that.” Nana nods, she was new. Doyeon’s new step sister and undeniably beautiful. 

Doyeon and Sooyoung were similar except Doyeon was deep down really just an annoying bitch. Someone who was born cruel. Sooyoung was someone that let heartbreak form an ice wall around herself for protection. 

Nana was nothing like either of them. Jinsoul actually respected her. The girl was reserved and calculated and always shared a smile with Jinsoul despite her having an everlasting frown. “What happened?” Nana asks, purely out of concern. Jinsoul was naturally quiet, but the silence was deafening whenever Sooyoung was the topic of discussion. 

_ I broke her heart.  _

She’s succumbed to annoyance when Doyeon answers, “Jinsoul dropped her ass, as she should. Sooyoung used to be so fucking lame.” The girl obnoxiously slurps on her soda. “Followed Jinsoul around like a lost puppy. You should have seen those two, it was like they were dating, holding hands, literally all over each other. Corny shit all the time.” Grinding her teeth she thinks of ways she could break Doyeon’s nose. 

“It worked out, Sooyoung is actually cool now. Who knows what would have happened if Jinsoul pitied that bitch.” 

_ I would have been happy.  _

_ I would have still had my best friend.  _

Nana hums and spares Jinsoul one last look. She doesn’t buy it, Jinsoul looked absolutely miserable half the time. The first year she was here she saw through Jinsoul’s fake bullshit. She didn’t fall for that overly pleasant personality and adorable smile. The girl’s eyes told her different. She was in pain. 

When Nana had been graced with the likes of Sooyoung she instantly understood. The girl was just like Jinsoul, fake. Sure Sooyoung had talked to her confidence, but she could tell the girl was meek by the way her hands shook and how she wouldn’t look her in the eyes for more than three seconds. 

What was the truth? 

Jung Jinsoul, the school’s ray of sunshine? Lucky to be even greeted with her soft voice. Or someone who was exhausted keeping up her cheerfulness. Sooyoung oozed arrogance, but deep down was self-conscious. The only thing keeping up her facade was because she was headstrong. 

Nana wanted to get to the bottom of it. 

Jinsoul chews on a carrot. She wonders if Sooyoung was happier without her now. 

Maybe it was better. 

~~~~

Covering her ears Jinsoul scrunches her face up at all the yelling. The smell of alcohol invades her senses. She was standing near the top of the bleachers, it was the season closer for the basketball team. Jinsoul has respectfully cheered for the team but her mind was somewhere else. 

Sooyoung was near the bottom, probably high, all over some girl she didn’t know the name off. Jinsoul was sick with jealousy. It used to not be this way before. At first she took the time to appreciate what growing up did for Sooyoung. Her hair was long and black, reaching her lower back. 

Jinsoul couldn’t keep her eyes off her body. Sooyoung was wearing only a tight jean skirt and a crop tee that looked painted on. Jinsoul hates it, why did she have to be far away. Being on the volleyball team has made Sooyoung’s body tone and lean. Year round her skin was almost golden. 

But despite appreciating her body, Jinsoul couldn’t even look at her face without wanting to cry. 

For four years it’s been like this. But Jinsoul’s gotten worse at ignoring Sooyoung, but the latter has gotten better at avoiding Jinsoul. It’s like a nightmare, how she keeps remembering the day she told Sooyoung that they couldn’t be friends anymore. 

_ Jinsoul had sat down in their normal spot. Sooyoung had noticed the bruises on her face. Her mother had hit her. She didn’t want to talk about what she had said to her. Instantly Sooyoung had cradled her face. The protectiveness glossed in her eyes. Jinsoul tried to be strong, but she felt so weak.  _

_ Sooyoung was her anchor. _

_ Somehow the rope had to be cut. Jinsoul didn’t want to be the one to do it. Holding her hands over Sooyoung’s she cries. How could she stay away from her? It was tearing her apart piece by piece, starting with her heart.  _

_ Jinsoul should be thankful she was even able to stay. When she was just getting comfortable, thinking of how great Sooyoung was to her. She’s called to the principal's office.  _

_ She thought she could just keep her and Sooyoung a secret.  _

_ That wasn’t so easy when the man behind the desk had informed Jinsoul she would be monitored by the staff. That if she was to be seen with Ha Sooyoung she would go to Japan unlike her father promised.  _

_ The only reason she was still here was because of him.  _

_ However, what was the point when she would be watched like a prisoner. When she couldn’t even be with the one she loved.  _

Jinsoul looks at the crowd of students and grabs the first red cup she sees and drowns it. The bitter taste of alcohol stings her throat. First, she started to ignore Sooyoung. Blocking her number and not waiting for her at school. Sooyoung had quickly caught on and constantly questioned Jinsoul. 

For weeks Jinsoul only gave her the silent treatment. Until she had gotten in trouble and another bruise from her m-...Mrs. Jung. Jinsoul had broke then and told Sooyoung to leave her alone. It was hard because for a whole year Sooyoung didn’t listen. 

Sooyoung begged for her forgiveness, constantly broke down on her, asked her to hang out so they could fix things. To just talk it out. Jinsoul was numb inside. She wanted to hate Sooyoung. It would be easier that way. If she just hated her all this pain would go away. But she could never hate her. 

No matter how hard she tried. 

That year was more or less just strange. Sooyoung was cute as ever, soon she just kept annoying Jinsoul to take her back. To come over like she used to do. Reminding her that the way they were was the best feeling she’s ever had. 

One night Sooyoung had called her. The girl was in the hospital. Her parents weren’t home so she had gotten the lady that watched her and Chaewon to pick the girl up. That night she had cleaned up Sooyoung. That was the end of it all. 

Jinsoul had reflected her mother’s words on Sooyoung. She had finally cut the rope. Sooyoung had looked at her as if she was some stranger. Jinsoul’s worst fear had happened. They were nothing like they used to be. 

She had broken Sooyoung, while breaking herself in the process. 

Sooyoung had left her alone then. But had changed. She would call Jinsoul names and scoff in her direction. The past two years have been the worst in her life. Sooyoung was starting to forget about her. She didn’t follow after her anymore or look her way. 

It hurt so much and it was all her fault. 

She was losing Sooyoung. 

Jinsoul was tired of waiting. That was the only reason she was here. Her father had sat her down right before they were supposed to go to Japan and told her to unpack her things. She had to avoid Sooyoung until she was eighteen when Mrs. Jung couldn’t control her anymore, then she was free to do whatever. 

That was her task, but she couldn’t wait much longer. She was fading away. Never has Jinsoul felt so empty.  _ Sooyoung is forgetting about you. _ Jinsoul doesn’t remember the last time she even talked to Sooyoung. It’s been forever. 

It was like they were never friends to begin with. She was just any other person to Sooyoung, received the same treatment as them. But she wasn’t, once upon a time she was Sooyoung’s girl. They were supposed to be dating, happy, together, all of that. She was supposed to be that girl wrapped up in Sooyoung’s touch. 

High School was supposed to be fun. 

Now Sooyoung called her Jinsnot and made fun of her with her friends. But she couldn’t even blame Sooyoung since she had done her far worse. 

Jinsoul looks down the bleachers again, Sooyoung was so gorgeous. She grabs another random cup from her friend. Jinsoul chugs down the thought of being entangled with Sooyoung with the liquor. 

She spends the rest of the time staring at the back of Sooyoung. Until some guy comes up to Sooyoung, cursing her out. The girl under her arm was that guy’s girlfriend. A lot of people hollar when Sooyoung pushes the guy, she’s always had a temper. A fight breaks out and Sooyoung ends up being elbowed by the guy.

Jinsoul’s natural reaction is to protect the girl. So she does. Sooyoung’s arm is grabbed and she’s pulled away. A lot of people are shocked. Since when did Sooyoung and Jinsoul know each other? 

Jinsoul didn’t want Sooyoung to hate her anymore. She wanted to fix everything. Once she wanted to hate Sooyoung, but she realized it was impossible. She can only hope it was the same for Sooyoung. That this hasn’t ruined everything between them. That their love was still shared, deep down somewhere. 

Besides, Jinsoul was going to be 18 soon. If her father kept his promise she could be with Sooyoung. Maybe she should start to change things now. When things were at their lowest. She didn’t want it to go beyond repairable. 

Still Jinsoul was scared to talk about it. Because the worst case scenario Sooyoung actually had lost everything for her. Dragging the girl into the family bathroom she locks the door behind them. Sooyoung is definitely drunk but not that much. She is still fully aware of everything happening. “The fuck are you doing?” 

Jinsoul ignores the harsh words and steps closer, bringing her hand up to Sooyoung’s busted lip. Sooyoung rightfully slaps her hand away. Jinsoul only sighs, “you should stop fighting you're gonna-” 

“Yeah I know, answer the question.” 

Sooyoung seems frustrated. Jinsoul did this sometimes. Completely ignored her for years and said things that stabbed her right in the heart. Still the girl protected her whenever she got hurt. It confused the hell out of Sooyoung. Did Jinsoul care about her or not? Her words said no but her actions said yes. 

She had no idea what she had done to make Jinsoul feel this way towards her. But sometimes she hated herself for bringing Jinsoul to the point of despising her. Sooyoung thought it was better to just leave her alone, but she couldn’t do that honestly. So every now and then she’d bother the girl just to make sure she wouldn’t forget about her. Sooyoung couldn’t let Jinsoul forget about her. 

“I...I don’t know.” Jinsoul stares into Sooyoung’s eyes. They weren’t filled with anger like they usually was. They realize they haven’t properly talked in almost three years. Not since that night Jinsoul stitched Sooyoung back up and told her she could care less about her. Jinsoul’s heart hasn’t been at peace since then. 

Jinsoul steps forward again, “can I touch you?” Sooyoung goes red in the face but nods anyways. Jinsoul’s never asked permission. Jinsoul swallows the tension in her throat. God Sooyoung was so pretty. Her face has matured and her features have changed. She still had the slightest bit of baby fat. 

She wanted to reach out and hold her. Like she used to. Her fingers were twitching to touch Sooyoung. Jinsoul hestiantly pushes Sooyoung back to sit on the counter. The girl hops up and lets her legs dangle. Jinsoul has to take a deep breath. She was so close to Sooyoung and all her nerves felt electrified. The hairs on the back of her neck stand up when Sooyoung won’t stop looking at her. 

“You’ve gotten so beautiful Jinsoul.” She closes her eyes. Damn that really hit her just right. 

“Sooyoung.”  _ She’s just drunk. _

“I know, I know…” The girl whines out and Jinsoul has to chew on the inside of her cheek to fight the smile. This was so different from their past encounters. Jinsoul isn’t as guarded but at the same time Sooyoung isn’t so eager to pierce into her defenses. They’re simply high from being close to each other after so long, especially Sooyoung since she was already intoxicated. 

Shuffling between the girl’s legs Jinsoul digs through her clutch. She always carried a mini first aid kit for some reason. It was a habit, because Sooyoung was always getting hurt when they were younger. Sooyoung has a busted lip and Jinsoul wipes and santizes it. Since when has Sooyoung’s lips been that thick? 

She hasn’t kissed them since she was fourteen 

The thought takes her breath away, she wonders if it would be different. If she were to just lean forward. “You don’t smile anymore.” Blinking out of her thoughts she meets Sooyoung’s eyes.

Jinsoul was always smiling, because she was with Sooyoung. Now she didn’t have a reason to, not when she was this miserable. Jinsoul knots her brows however, Sooyoung must still be paying close attention to notice. It calms the storm stirring in her chest. 

“I’m not happy.” Jinsoul tells her the truth. Glancing into Sooyoung’s eyes before going back to her lip. 

Jinsoul gets the rest of the blood off Sooyoung’s lip and backs away going to throw away the little wipe. When she looks back at Sooyoung the girl is tiling her head, giving her a strange glare. 

“You wanna get outta here?” 

~~~~ 

Jinsoul knows she shouldn’t be with Sooyoung right now, but it felt so right. They walk down the streets, forgetting about the game all together. They haven’t said anything the whole time. Everytime Sooyoung tries to get close to her she has to step away. She couldn’t afford hurting herself again. 

Knowing that she still had months of avoiding Sooyoung before her. “Do you hate me?” 

_ Maybe this would be easier if I did.  _

“Of course not.” 

Sooyoung is quick to reply, “why do you act like it then.” Jinsoul stops in her tracks and pulls the coat around her body tighter. It was really cold and she could tell Sooyoung was freezing. So she walks into the laundry mat that was on the corner. 

It’s warm in there. Sooyoung follows behind her. Somehow she wishes Sooyoung didn’t. Jinsoul doesn’t want to answer the question. But Sooyoung pushes her luck, the girl wasn’t acting as defensive tonight. She wasn’t pushing her away. “Why aren’t you happy Jinsoul?” 

Sitting down in one of the waiting chairs she closes her eyes. There’s some old ladies around staring mostly at Sooyoung who had paint and glitter on her body. School spirit.  _ Isn’t it obvious. _ “Are you?” She asks Sooyoung. The girl is silent and sits next to her. Jinsoul can feel the warmth her body is radiating. 

“Yeah for the most part...although I wish some things were different.” Jinsoul smiles, she’s glad Sooyoung was happy. Maybe she hasn’t broke her entirely. That’s all she ever wanted, for Sooyoung to be happy. She’ll be able to sleep tonight. The dark circles under her eyes won’t be hard to cover with her concealer. Knowing that Sooyoung was okay. “I wish you didn’t hate me.” 

Jinsoul groans and estimates where Sooyoung’s leg is to she can kick it. She barely misses but still groans out, “I don’t hate you!” 

“Then why?” Jinsoul swallows harshly. “Why do you still ignore me for months. I still don’t know what I did wrong.” Sooyoung crosses her arms, “you can’t suddenly act like this, like you didn’t say those things to me.” 

Jinsoul stays quiet, unable to answer Sooyoung’s questions. “I can’t stand you.” 

“I know.” 

Sooyoung rolls her eyes at Jinsoul. For the first time in years it feels normal. But Jinsoul is still so vague and closed off. Jinsoul opens one eye up, Sooyoung is totally pouting at her right now. It must be weird after all this time. “What? Are you not mad at me anymore, is that why you remembered that I existed tonight?” Sooyoung turns her head and Jinsoul closes her eye back shut. 

“No I just missed you that’s all.” Sooyoung groans and pushes her. Causing her to open her eyes up wide. The girl is now standing, there’s tears in her eyes. Jinsoul clenches her hands onto the sides of her seat. 

A finger is pointed in her face, “so what we’re friends now? Just like that?”

Sooyoung shakes her head, her makeup running down her face from the sweat and slowly pouring tears, “you’re not allowed to do this Jinsoul!” She hangs her head low. “If you’re not going to explain then what’s the point!” Sooyoung still stands there. 

“For a second I thought we were being mature tonight.” Sooyoung actually believed Jinsoul wasn’t going to be so annoying with they way it had started. Jinsoul seemed liked she was going to open up, only the close in the blink of the eye The door to the laundromat rings. Sooyoung had left without another word. 

Jinsoul was naive to think it would be this easy. 

~~~~ 

She’s laying in her bed later on that night. Chaewon walks in, the light spilling in from the hallway. “Sooyoung called me, said you all talked tonight.” Jinsoul smiles and raises up in her bed. 

The next thing Chaewon says leaves a hole in her chest, “she said until you explain things she doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.” Jinsoul frowns, she guesses she deserves that. 

Being petty she replies, “tell her to not worry ‘bout it.” 

She had to go back to ignoring her existence anyways. 

~~~~ 

“You’re dating who?” Jinsoul rolls her eyes. She hated talking about her boyfriend. It was some guy Mrs.Jung made her go out with. They’ve been together for two years now. No one really knew except Doyeon and now Nana because the girl had just told her sister. 

They’re sitting in her room. Doyeon had inviting herself and of course Nana had tagged along. “Hot isn’t he?” Doyeon mumbles out, she was a little bit jealous. That guy had rejected her a while ago only to find out he was dating Jung Jinsoul. 

Nana shrugs, she wasn’t really into boys. She spares a glance at Jinsoul who was glued to her phone. Jinsoul was staring at pictures of Sooyoung, she had at hundreds of pictures saved to one album. 

One particular one makes her bite at her nails, she doesn’t mean to blush. Sooyoung was way too cute for her own good. Nana notices it, “hey Jinsoul can we go make some food?” The girl in all black tears her gaze from the screen. Jinsoul is a bit annoyed that she was pulled out of her daydream but agrees anyways. 

When Jinsoul is microwaving spicy rice cakes, Nana makes her blood freeze, “What's up with you and Ha Sooyoung?” Nana knew there was something more when she saw Jinsoul drag Sooyoung away at the ballgame. But avoided her at school. Maybe she was being nice. 

“We used to be best friends. Then…” Nana waits patiently. 

“I told her to leave me alone. Made her hate me.” Nana doubts that, not with the way Sooyoung stares at Jinsoul when she’s not looking. She was completely invisible. Nana wasn’t noticed by anyone so she was perfect with snooping in other people’s business. That’s not the whole story, “why?” 

Jinsoul’s back is facing her, Nana can see how tense her shoulders are. During the volleyball season the two were like magnets of the same pole. Jinsoul was a setter, Sooyoung was a hitter, they were supposed to work together. But there was so much tension, the coach usually had them rotate oppositely. “I think you should stop asking questions.” 

Nana smirks, she’s hit a nerve. 

“It’s okay.” 

Upstairs Doyeon is looking through Jinsoul’s things. Until one drawer she opens to find stacks of papers. All taped together as if they’ve been ripped apart. Taking one out she reads. Eventually gasping. Taking out another she reads. 

A smile stretches out as she continues to read. 

“Oh Jinsoul your poor bitch.” 

~~~~ 

Doyeon squeals once her step-sister closes the door to their landrover. “You’ll never guess what I found.” Nana hums and puts her seatbelt on. She hated Doyeon, she was constantly compared to her. Always coming up short. Doyeon was prettier, popular, better at volleyball. Nana was sick of it. 

But damn did she love her right now. Nana smiles reading the words to herself. 

Jung Jinsoul was in love with Ha Sooyoung. 

~~~~ 

“You fucked Doyeon.” Nana pans out to Sooyoung. They were the only two still in the locker room. Doyeon had told her in detail, how shy and cute Sooyoung was. Explained how satisfying it was to hear the girl- “how was it? Be honest.” 

Sooyoung slowly shuts the locker, becoming self-conscious that she was half-naked. Jinsoul didn’t know yet. But she would know soon. Ha Sooyoung had begged for it, although in reality it was Doyeon who had begged. Nana rolled her eyes when she heard the rumor.

“None of your business.” 

“Don’t be shy.” 

Sooyoung turns around, her face red with anger, “are you some kind of pervert?” Nana laughs loudly and wipes the tears from her eyes. Standing up she stalks towards Sooyoung who is trying to become one with the locker behind her. She tries to act all bad but Nana sees right through it. 

Pining Sooyoung to the lockers, she leans in close. Ghosting her lips around Sooyoung’s ear she nibbles on it. One of her hands glide down to wrap around Sooyoung’s throat, “I thought you said you wanted me?” Sooyoung squeezes her eyes shut. She was all talk and no action. 

Pressing her body to Sooyoung’s she cradles her jaw and pulls it straight, Sooyoung’s eyes are dark but shaky. “You can say no you know? I just want to show you that I’m better than her.” Sooyoung’s eyes narrow and her lips part. Of course she wanted Nana, but there was this guilt eating away at her. 

“It was bad.” Nana smiles at the girl. It inflated her ego to the max. Knowing that Doyeon was shit at something. But Nana knows she would never come close to being Jinsoul. She could see it in Sooyoung’s eyes. The hesitation. So she backs away. 

“Do me a favor and tell everyone that.” She wanted Sooyoung too, but not for genuine reasons. It was selfish of her to use this girl for her own personal gain. “We don’t have to fuck, just tell people I’m better than her.” Sooyoung is glaring at her before laughing. 

“God you really ain’t shit” Nana’s facade breaks. Sooyoung was a bitch. Especially the way she was mocking her right now. “If you want me to be your puppet then maybe you should prove it to me.” 

Nana holds her breath when Sooyoung scraps her nails down her tummy and leans up to nibble at her bottom lip. “Show me that your better than her and I’ll think about it.” Nana slams her against the lockers. Sooyoung really got on her nerves whenever she was faking that arrogance. 

Fifteen minutes later, when the locker room is filled with soft sighs and quiet moans. Nana can’t stop, Sooyoung was almost addicting. No wonder everyone was lowkey in love with her. She sucks at the girl’s jawline, as her back is clawed into. Nana knows she’s made a mistake.

Especially when Sooyoung screams out Jinsoul’s name when she cums. 

~~~~ 

Sooyoung keeps looking at her during lunch. It’s weird. Jinsoul nibbles at an apple slice. It was getting harder to eat these days. She can’t fight it anymore so she stares right back at Sooyoung. Dread fills her chest at the girl’s expression. Sooyoung swallows hard and looks away. 

Something was wrong. 

Nana is picking at her food, almost sick. She has been for the past week. The nausea rises when Joy brings it up, “so we just not gonna talk about how Doyeon fucked Sooyoung.” 

Instantly she looks to Jinsoul while the table laughs and jokes around. Doyeon bragging about it to the group. Jinsoul’s eyes are wide and the tears were already dropping. The girl runs from the table, only causing a bit of a disturbance. Doyeon goes back to talking about it. 

The table is amused. Nana was guilt ridden. 

So she runs after Jinsoul. Following her all the way to the bathroom. There she meets Sooyoung. Nana shakes her head, “no...I don’t think it’s a good idea.” The girl glared at her and tries to go in anyways but Nana pushes her away, “I’m serious, she knows about Doyeon.” Sooyoung silently asks her the question and Nana shakes her head. They decided to keep it a secret. 

Walking into the bathroom after Sooyoung leaves she cringes. Jinsoul is sobbing near the sinks. She was on the verge of breaking down. Nana comes near her. God she never should had meddle with it. This was something real, something she had no business dipping her nose in. 

Laying a hand on Jinsoul’s back she rubs to comfort the girl. She stays there with Jinsoul, until she gets it all out. The girl even ends up hugging her. 

Nana doesn’t expect it, “ _ I’m in love with her. _ ” The sobs wreck through the girl. “ _ I’ve always been in love with her _ .” She almost wants to cry too, not being able to imagine the pain. 

She has to be honest, “Jinsoul I have to tell you something.” 

“ _ I had to do it or I was going to Japan, I couldn’t stand it. Nana I couldn’t do it, what if I never seen her again _ .” She shuts up and squeezes the girl tighter. So the truth comes out. “ _ They still watch every move I make, I just want to be with her.”  _ Nana lets the breath she didn’t know she was holding out. 

“Who?” 

Jinsoul becomes weak in her arms, “ _ everyone.” _ Nana doesn’t ask anymore. But Jinsoul keeps explaining. It makes more and more sense. She regrets everything now. She should have never even spoke to Sooyoung. 

Still, she had to tell Jinsoul. 

The girl was sitting between the sinks with her arms crossed. Silent, with tear stained eyes. “Maybe I should just say fuck it, you know? What they gonna do.” Nana doesn’t say anything. 

“Jinsoul,” the girl hums and Nana swallows her pride. “I slept with her too.” Jinsoul doesn’t react first. 

Nana isn’t surprised when she gets the color slapped off her cheek. Jinsoul mumbles out something about trust before calling her a stupid bitch. She deserved it though. 

The girl walks out of the bathroom, leaving Nana to dwell over her choices. 

~~~~ 

Pacing back and forth in front of Sooyoung she tries to be rational. She was making excuses. Sooyoung shouldn’t have slept with them. Jinsoul made things up but there was only one thing really true to her heart. 

It should have been her. 

Sooyoung is leaned back onto the desk, she raises up. “You sound so jealous right now.” Jinsoul stops in her tracks. Staring at Sooyoung the girl looks scared and there’s regret etched into her expression. Jinsoul doesn’t like it at all. 

Stumbling forward she can’t stand it anymore. Sooyoung was hers. Jinsoul should’t be so possessive she knows this is toxic. But the feeling in her stomach won her over. Jealousy was ugly. Grabbing the girl’s shirt collar she tugs at them, staring directly at Sooyoung’s lips. 

God she just wanted to melt into them, they were so soft. She can still remember the taste. “What if I am Sooyoung?” Her voice is strained. Jinsoul’s throat is tight from all the yelling but now she only anticipates what she’s about to do. Jinsoul’s pupil blow at the site of Sooyoung biting her lip. She wanted to be the one that did that. 

She wanted to make Sooyoung’s lips numb. 

The classroom is quiet now, the silence is mixed with their labored breathing. “What if I was jealous Sooyoung.” Jinsoul jerks her closer by the collar making Sooyoung stand. Jinsoul curses when Sooyoung looks down on her with this obnoxious glint in her eye. The heat in her tummy burning all the way down to her toes. 

“Then do something about it.” 

It’s like the band of constraint snaps, Jinsoul loses the last bit of her resistance and surges forward to press her lips against Sooyoung’s roughly. It’s like an explosion just waiting to happen. That’s what Jinsoul’s insides felt like. It’s been way too long, she’s waiting for this too damn long. 

Sooyoung’s lips are just the same but all the more addicting. Her taste is sweeter and Jinsoul fights for control over it. She wants Sooyoung to know how much she wanted her. Jinsoul cradles Sooyoung’s jaw in her hand and deeply kisses her over and over again. Sooyoung’s hands first find her waist but aggressively inch lower. 

Jinsoul gets embarrassed at how loud she moans when Sooyoung grabs her ass roughly. She didn’t mean to break the kiss but Sooyoung gets desperate enough to pull her back. The desk creaks as they push past it. Jinsoul’s hands tangle themselves in Sooyoung’s hair, tugging and pulling on the silky black curls when she shoves the girl into the glass cabinet. 

Something starts to twist down below, it leaves her uncomfortable, in need of a touch she doesn’t quite understand. She squeezes her thighs together for relief and kisses Sooyoung harder, banging her head against the glass in the process. Their lip lock is competitive, whoever can make who moan more. Whoever’s lips get swollen first. Jinsoul is in the lead because Sooyoung is slowly losing herself to the girl’s touch. 

Once Jinsoul feels like she has all the control she finally tests out the thing she’s been desperate to do ever since she saw it. Biting down on Sooyoung’s lips the girl groans and it shoots something straight down between Jinsoul’s thighs. It felt good, really good and Jinsoul didn’t want to stop. 

Sooyoung was addicting. 

Jinsoul slows down and deepens it. She isn’t angry anymore, she wants to enjoy this. This is how they really should kiss. Jinsoul tries to pour her heart through the kisses, slowly moving her lips in tune with Sooyoung’s. The girl’s hands were still on her ass, squeezing whenever she kisses a little too slowly. 

Pulling back Sooyoung chases after her, whining that she did so. Jinsoul holds her eyes open to watch the girl’s reaction. She smiles into the next kiss, after she had taken a long lick at Sooyoung’s bottom lip that was swollen red. Jinsoul wants to feel how hot Sooyoung’s mouth is, she wants a taste. So she pushes her tongue in and when she meets Sooyoung’s they moan together. 

She can’t hold her eyes open any longer and squeezes them shut. Appreciating how Sooyoung’s tongue rolls over hers. Jinsoul loves it, how messy Sooyoung is, how desperate she is to keep kissing her everytime Jinsoul pulls back. Everytime she whines Jinsoul only leans forward to bite again. 

Sure it was supposed to be punishment but she thinks Sooyoung liked it too much. 

The kiss gets less and less heavy. Jinsoul doesn’t want to push Sooyoung too far. So she cups her face to rub at her cheek. Softly pecking the girl’s lips that had suffered from her rough treatment. Sooyoung hands had traveled up to rest on her back. Jinsoul leaned her entire weight on Sooyoung just enjoying the feeling of the girl holding her.

With tiny kisses Jinsoul feels the love blossom in her chest, along with the fear. What would happen if her mother were to see this, or even her father. 

Nibbling on Sooyoung’s bottom lip she lets the girl’s whine distract her from raging thoughts. Pulling back she slowly opens her eyes. Sooyoung has hers squeezed shut, her mouth still wide open. Jinsoul watches as the girl licks at her own lips. She hopes Sooyoung can still taste her. Jinsoul can’t help it as she presses one last kiss against her lips. 

Sooyoung opens her eyes then, they’re so dark and full of affection. Jinsoul’s mirror them. This was the girl she was in love with. This is how it was supposed to be. Smiling she carefully takes in everyone of Sooyoung’s features, she wanted to kiss them all. 

But Jinsoul had her eyes set on somewhere else. Sooyoung’s throat was painted with something, her skin was red and pitted. Leaning forward she watches Sooyoung’s eye close and lips pucker up, Jinsoul thought it was adorable. Especially when she hears Sooyoung’s high pitched moan when she latches her lips on her neck and sucks on the skin there. 

“ _ Ah Jinsoul. _ ” Pulling back she looks at the hickey with wide eyes. Fear somehow wins her over. What if Sooyoung told someone and word got out. 

Even though she hates it she pulls away. Looking deep into Sooyoung’s eyes. 

“That, um that didn’t happen.” 

Jinsoul leaves Sooyoung hanging dry. As she walks to her car she keeps rubbing at her own lips. 

They were numb. 

~~~~ 

Stirring the sugar into her cereal Jinsoul takes a long breath. She had her favorite pajamas on and was about to sit her ass on the couch and watch some dumb show to pass the time. Jinsoul turns her head when she hears her sister storm down the steps, Chaewon gives her an odd look before scurrying off. 

Their parents were never home anymore, Jinsoul was actually certain the lady that watched over them had quit. It was only her and Chae now. Walking into the living room where she had already fixed up so she could lay down, the slippers she’s wearing stick to the floor. 

Ms. Ha stares at her with a smile on her face. “Hey Jinsoul! Haven’t seen you in forever.” Behind her three girls are already going crazy with Chaewon. Sooyoung is faced towards the tv, wrapped in a large coat. 

Jinsoul smiles back at the older woman that hadn’t aged one day. Holding the cereal bowl out she half hugs Ms. Ha. “You don’t come over anymore, we miss you!” Jinsoul shrugs and doesn’t bother explaining. 

Once Ms. Ha says goodbye to her daughters, Jinsoul glares at Chaewon. Even if she and Sooyoung we’re no longer friends. They didn’t mean her sister wasn’t still friends with all of them. Thankfully Sooyoung doesn’t acknowledge each other. 

They haven’t spoken since the kiss. 

Jinsoul doesn't know whether to be worried or relieved. Before any of them noticed her she retreats to the kitchen to eat. She’s not even that hungry anymore, swirling her spoon in the bowl. She doesn’t see the figure standing at the doorway. “I’m sorry.” Jinsoul halts her spoon spinning and glances up. 

Sooyoung is staring right at her. She can’t stand it, how her heart still clenches whenever she meets her eyes. Swallowing nothing down she goes back to the neglected cereal, “for what?” 

Sooyoung steps forward bringing her hands out of her coat pockets to brace onto the counter. “For whatever I did all those years. I’m tired of this Jinsoul I don’t want to do this anymore.” Jinsoul closes her eyes, she hasn’t heard that in a few years. Most of the time now Sooyoung would insult her. Calling her a bitch and for Jinsoul to stop staring at her. 

This was similar to the Sooyoung’s whose heart she broke, who begged for them to be, “can we please just be friends again. It doesn’t feel right, it never has.” Jinsoul sighs, but her eyes flutter open when she feels soft hands take on her own. Staring at their hands intertwined. “Whatever happened, just let me fix it.” 

Jinsoul shakes her head about to speak before Sooyoung interrupts her, “and don’t give me that bullshit. I know you care about me, you care about  _ us. _ ” Jinsoul can’t make herself look up because she can hear Sooyoung’s sniffles and shaky breaths. She didn’t want to go through this again. 

“I can’t Sooyoung.” 

The girl above her groans, “so what now? We just go back to what we were before? Complete fucking strangers...after...after what happened?” Jinsoul shakes her head, she doesn’t want that but...what can she do. She’s scared, Sooyoung wouldn’t understand. “I can’t do that.” The hands slip away, leaving her own cold as ice. 

Jinsoul finally looks up and regrets it. Seeing the pain in Sooyoung’s eyes, “I hate you.” Sooyoung grits out. Jinsoul only shakes her head. 

“No you don’t.” Sooyoung smiles at her then. _ She’s right.  _ Somehow, this was the most they had ever understood each other in the past few years. Sooyoung shakes her head and goes to say something, but ends up walking out on Jinsoul. 

Making her regret her choices again and again. 

They were still complete strangers. 

~~~~

Putting her books up in her locker, Jinsoul screams when it’s slammed shut. Staring at the intruder she’s not surprised to see it’s Sooyoung. Things were more or less the same, Jinsoul avoided Sooyoung. The girl went back to hating her. They didn’t make progress, but it will change soon. Jinsoul was turning eighteen, meaning if her father kept true to his word then she could do whatever she wanted. 

“Hi.” 

“Bitch.” 

“Okay.” 

Sooyoung seems angry but Jinsoul waits patiently. “You’re going there too?” Jinsoul tilts her head unsure of what she was talking about. “Why not SM?” Jinsoul blushes a bit, yes she did pick the same university that Sooyoung was going to. She had a full ride to both and most of her peers were telling her to go to SM, but her heart was with the other. 

She also wasn’t going into medicine like her parents wanted. 

“I um...it’s closer.” Jinsoul lies and Sooyoung sees through it. 

The girl pops her gum, “it’s not going to be the same you know, I’m not going to let you affect me anymore. It’s over I’m done, you won.” Jinsoul fiddles with the waistband of her skirt as Sooyoung explains to her. 

“I wish you never changed. I don’t even know who you are anymore.” Sooyoung leaves her with that. Bumping into her shoulder as she does so. Jinsoul watches her retreating figure down the hallway. 

_ We’ll see about that Ha Sooyoung.  _

~~~~ 

Okay, Jinsoul had totally underestimated Sooyoung’s ability to ignore her. This was complete hell, it’s been months since she’s had her birthday, it’s been months since she’s seen her parents. The last she saw them Mrs. Jung was kicking her sister out onto the streets for being disrespectful, also she was sure Chaewon was selling weed. 

Jinsoul’s Dad had sit quietly with his head between his hands. Like he always did. 

She however didn’t really worry about it. They weren’t home enough to even notice if Chae was there. Jinsoul was smart enough to mess with the security cameras. Jinsoul had been focused on something else. Winning Ha Sooyoung back over. She was an adult now, meaning that Mrs. Jung couldn't technically make her do anything. 

At least that's what she thought. 

Jinsoul found it kinda difficult though. Trying to win her bestfriends love back. Sooyoung was even more popular in college. Jinsoul would often watch her shamelessly at volleyball games. She had quit the sport, but Sooyoung was a star for indoor and outdoor. Jinsoul of course had joined the outdoor league without Sooyoung knowing, she’d find out next summer what the girls reaction would be.

Everytime she approached Sooyoung however the girl would literally run away. Jinsoul was becoming less and less motivated. God what if Sooyoung actually hated her now. What if she was for real done with her. It was a possibility, since Jinsoul’s number was blocked and she literally couldn’t come within a ten foot radius of the girl. 

Chaewon of course let her snoop in on her and Sooyoung’s facetime calls and let her scroll through Sooyoung’s instagram saving the pics for herself. Jinsoul kinda felt like some stalker. Maybe she should let Sooyoung go finally. 

She’s halfway through her second semester. She hasn’t spoken a word to Sooyoung since that day at school when Sooyoung said she was done. Jinsoul didn’t even get bullied anymore. She kinda missed it. 

She missed Sooyoung. 

Because even back then, somehow she still had some kinda daily contact with the girl. Positive or negative, Sooyoung was still in her life. Now they were strangers that barely knew each other. Jinsoul slams the door to her car shut, she deserved a little attention didn’t she? They were best friends for ten years. Yes she did say awful things to Sooyoung but...well maybe she didn’t deserve the attention. 

Walking into the diner she pouts, she really wanted Sooyoung back. Jinsoul practically craved her now. She misses her boo. Sitting at the bar part she looks at the man snoring on the counter. Jinsoul raises her brow this place was a ghost town but she’s heard good things about it. Also it apparently had a cute waitress. 

“Hi welcome to...what the fuck.” Jinsoul jerks her view to the front. It’s Sooyoung. Yeah, this place had a cute waitress, the cutest in fact. Jinsoul instantly smiles and raises up. Sooyoung was in her outfit, hair pulled up. Jinsoul had an urge to take a picture. 

“Hi.” 

“No get out.” 

Dropping her smiles she swats away Sooyoung’s pointing finger, “what the? I wanna eat aren't you gonna take my order.” 

Sooyoung takes her menu from her, “we’re closed.” The cook peeks out from the kitchen and starts yelling at Sooyoung. Jinsoul watches with wide eyes as Sooyoung and the cook cuss each other out. When the threat of unemployment comes up Sooyoung groans and turns around. 

“Fine the hell you want.” Sooyoung clicks her pen aggressively and Jinsoul giggles. God she was so cute. 

Biting down on her lip she looks Sooyoung up and down, she was looking so good these days. “Surprise me.” Jinsoul thinks she’ll stay for the remainder of Sooyoung’s shift. Then offer the girl a ride home. Apologize or at least start to win her back. Ah it was so perfect. Her plan was perfect. 

“Jung.”

Jinsoul raises a brow, that was different. She squirms in her seat, she kinda liked when Sooyoung talked to her like that. Sooyoung sighs and stops staring a hole into her note pad to glare at Jinsoul. It runs all over her. Jinsoul raises forward and emphasis the words, “surprise me.” 

Sooyoung audibly sighs out of her mouth and stomps towards the kitchen. The cook is yelling at her. Jinsoul waves at Sooyoung through the little window as she has a spatula pointed in her face. The girl rolls her eyes and goes back to listening to the woman. 

The girl unfortunately hides in the kitchen, leaving Jinsoul to be creeped out by the sleeping guy. He raises up suddenly and screams, “ANNA NICOLE?” Jinsoul scoots away when he goes back to sleep. 

Sooyoung comes out a little while later with Jinsoul’s favorite. A huge stack of waffles and a strawberry milkshake. Jinsoul can’t help but clap her hands together and make a tiny noise when it’s sat in front of her. Looking up at Sooyoung she smiles, “thank you Sooyoungie.” 

The girl blushes and jerks her hand away, “I spit on your food by the way.” Jinsoul digs in anyways, it’s not like she’s had her tongue down Sooyoung’s throat before. The girl disappears again, leaving Jinsoul to enjoy her food. She actually did spit on it. Jinsoul scraps that part away, gross...but at the same time…Jinsoul blushes at the image in her head.

“Here’s your check dumbass.” Jinsoul isn’t remotely bothered by it. Sooyoung could insult her all day, at least she was talking to her. Not even reading it she lays down a hundred dollar bill. 

“Keep the change.”

Sooyoung glares at it, “I don’t want your money.” 

“I didn’t ask if you did.” Jinsoul takes a bite and quirks her head at Sooyoung. The girl rolls her eyes and takes the money finally. Jinsoul was so happy, Sooyoung actually remembers that she existed. 

When Sooyoung comes to clean up her dishes they share a look. Something is in Sooyoung’s eyes that makes Jinsoul want to grab at her chest to check if her heart is still beating. Jinsoul was longing for Sooyoung. She feels like a part of her life has been stripped away. 

Jinsoul didn’t need Sooyoung. 

But she wanted her, and as long as she lived there would always be an annoying thought in the back of her head.  _ You never got what you wanted. _ Jinsoul didn’t want to live with this emptiness inside, the constant pressure of being almost numb. If she never got her chance with Sooyoung then the rest of her years would be filled with  _ what if’s _ . 

_ What if she was the love of your life.  _

_ What if this was the biggest mistake you’ve made.  _

Why live with all this regret when she clearly could tell that Sooyoung still wanted her just as bad. If she was right by what she sees in the girl’s dark eyes. The plate is jerked from under her. Sooyoung wants to fight it. Jinsoul knows she’s not been the best person. 

She wants to show Sooyoung that she’s still the same person from back then. Not the girl who broke her heart. Jinsoul wants to piece it back together. The one who showed Sooyoung affection everyday of her life.

Jinsoul was so desperate to get her back. Jinsoul waits until Sooyoung starts to put on her coat to stand up. The girl quickly walks past her but Jinsoul grabs her before she’s out the door. Sooyoung pushes her off, “what the fuck don’t you understand, I’m done Jinsoul.” Sooyoung strains out. There’s dark circles under her eyes. 

Jinsoul doesn’t know how Sooyoung felt. The girl always seemed fine without her. She had plenty of friends and smiles constantly. Jinsoul sees the cracks however, that stuck in her almost perfect features. The ones that Jinsoul caused, she didn’t know she was still breaking Sooyoung. “You’re just gonna be nice to me for tonight and then tommorrow tell me it didn’t fucking happen. You’re just gonna push me away again.” 

Sooyoung really missed Jinsoul. 

It was a lot harder than she thought. 

“I, just leave me alone and I won’t bother you.” Jinsoul shakes her head as Sooyoung slips out the door. She doesn’t know the girl starts to cry as she walks home. Jinsoul stands in the dinner, the guy still snoring. 

Maybe this wouldn’t be so easy. 

~~~~

When Sooyoung sees her coming onto the sand, duffel bag in hand. The girl groans and throws practically a hissy fit. 

This would be one long summer. 

Jinsoul only smiles and walks up the coach, “Hi I’m here for the beach volleyball league?” 

~~~~ 

Sooyoung quits ignoring her, but at what cost. The girl was mean as hell. When they were little Sooyoung was this mean, but Jinsoul didn’t really know the intensity of it because she was never the one to receive it. 

Every practice Sooyoung manages to say something evil to her. Sometimes Jinsoul gets a weird chill down her spine when Sooyoung rasps the harsh words into her ear. It has her breathing late at night imagining if Sooyoung were to say such things under different circumstances...particularly the circumstance in which Jinsoul was underneath Sooyoung. Other times she wants to straight up cry. 

Things are getting there...slowly. Jinsoul just needs to get to a point where Sooyoung isn’t hostile with her. She’s caused this though, so she doesn’t let herself get too disappointed when Sooyoung doesn’t smile back. 

First Sooyoung was in denial, this must be her anger. For all the things Jinsoul’s put her throughout the years. 

Jinsoul is patient though, she’d wait forever if she had to. Because she thinks she’ll be in love with Sooyoung for the rest of her life. It was a blessing and a curse at the same time. 

A blessing to fall for someone as amazing as Sooyoung. 

A curse falling in love at the wrong time. 

~~~~

Twirling her drink in her hand she tries to not pay attention to that side of the room. Jinsoul more or less hated parties, especially the ones at a stranger's homes. She’s tucked into the corner, away from everyone else. It’s not like anyone is paying attention to her anyways. 

At least that’s what she thinks. 

Across the room with her arm wrapped around a girl, Sooyoung keeps stealing glances. She makes sure Jinsoul has her eyes glued to the floor before she does so. Jinsoul for once didn’t want to see Sooyoung. She felt something in her stomach, something bad was going to happen. 

Looking across the room she meets Sooyoung’s eyes. She expects Sooyoung to look away first, but the girl holds the contact. It’s Jinsoul who loses the staring contest and she takes a small sip from her cup. 

Sooyoung can’t stand it, “baby let’s go somewhere else.” Sooyoung listens to the girl pressed against her. This isn’t the girl supposed to be calling her that. She’s over by the corner. Talking to strangers. 

Jinsoul watches as Sooyoung’s dragged through the crowd, panic starts to rise when she loses site. Taking a deep breath she keeps the conversation going with the random guy. Jinsoul would look for her later, she wasn’t being a stalker, she was just scared of Sooyoung getting hurt. 

Sooyoung doesn’t know why she lets it slip into her mouth. The girl had told her it would make her feel good. This is why she hated parties, she didn’t even like drinking. 

The last thing Sooyoung knows, her body feels heavy but light at the same time. 

~~~~ 

“Where the fuck is she.” Jinsoul has been looking everywhere for Sooyoung. It’s been almost an hour and the party was slowly dying. About everyone was too drunk or horny, retreating to their cars or a corner to try and bag a one night stand. Some were even passed out. 

Jinsoul peaks into the hallway and smiles when she sees the red cap Sooyoung was wearing earlier, but frowns when she sees that Sooyoung’s hand is shoved in the back of that girl’s jeans. Jinsoul stares at them making out for a few seconds. 

_ Wow wish that were me.  _

Turning about to leave the party, she stops when the two pull apart. Sooyoung is either way too drunk or own something. Jinsoul’s never seen the girl so clumsy as she stumbles around in the narrow hallway. Jinsoul wasn’t going to cockblock, that was a little too much. Even though it hurt like hell to see Sooyoung sleeping with other people. 

But this was weird. The girl was perfectly fine, smiling at Sooyoung. While the girl swayed a little too much. Jinsoul didn’t like it one bit. Not being able to control herself she walks up to the two. Balancing her by placing a hand on her lower back. Sooyoung turns, her lips are glossy and her eyes are bloodshot and she can barely hold them open. 

“Jinswol!” She stands strong as Sooyoung throws herself practically on top of her. Jinsoul holds her up to support her weight while glaring at the girl from behind Sooyoung’s shoulder. Yeah, she was off her rocker. No way would Sooyoung cling onto her like she used to. Not even while drunk. 

Rubbing Sooyoung’s back only covered by a small black t-shirt Jinsoul whispers into her ear, “let's get you home okay?” Sooyoung groans and squeezes onto her more. Jinsoul tries to move them but the girl from before grabs her elbow. 

“Hello? She was with me the fuck?” 

Jinsoul checks her, looking up and down. “Well now she’s with me go be a trick somewhere else.” 

The girl scoffs, “I ain’t no trick, you ugly bitch.” Smiling she leans Sooyoung up against the wall. 

Getting up in the girl’s face Jinsoul almost spits on her, “listen hoe, I don’t know what you playing at but I will fuck you up.” It doesn’t take a second for the girl to swing at Jinsoul. But Jinsoul was sober and really, a better fighter. 

So she lets her anger flow to her fists.

Sooyoung screams out laughing when Jinsoul pops the girl in jaw. Knocking her out cold. The girl didn’t even have time to react to Jinsoul, she’s been taught by the best. Ha Sooyoung was a great fighter, Jinsoul just followed her footsteps.

Before Sooyoung can stumble off somewhere she grabs her by the hand. Jinsoul shuffles where Sooyoung is clinging to her back, Jinsoul has an arm around her waist for balance and escorts them out of the party. “Jinsoul...Jinsoul.” Sooyoung keeps slurring out her name and trying to snuggle into her. “Your like soft.” 

Jinsoul shakes her head, she didn’t really have a chance to rekindle their friendship when Sooyoung was high off her rocker. The girl is like a dead weight and Jinsoul struggles to pull her towards her car. 

Sucking in air between her teeth when Sooyoung stumbles forward to slam into her car face first Jinsoul quickly wraps her arms around the tiny waist to pull her up. “Okay we need to get you home.” Jinsoul groans when Sooyoung loses balance and almost makes them tumble to the ground. 

Shoving the girl in the passenger seat she slams the door shut. Leaning onto the car she takes a deep breath, babysitting Sooyoung was exhausting. Hearing screaming from within the car she jumps back. Jinsoul had shut Sooyoung’s hair in the door. 

“Stop trying to pull it out!” Jinsoul screams at her even if she couldn’t hear her and quickly opens the door to relieve the girl’s hair. Sooyoung giggles as she straightens her hair back out. Her eyes almost closed. 

Once inside Jinsoul relaxes in her driver's seat. She thinks she was sober enough to drive. Closing her eyes she takes a moment to rest. Jinsoul doesn’t even remember how she got here. 

Her eyes open back wide and her legs snap shut when a frisky hand comes to slip between them. Looking down Sooyoung’s fingers squeeze onto her inner thigh only covered with some panty hose. Jinsoul carefully slips the hand off, if anything she doesn’t want to get to... _ that  _ point. 

No matter how badly she wanted Sooyoung. 

The girl was not in her right mind right now. “Sorry.” Sooyoung slurs out and Jinsoul shakes her head before dryly swallowing. She felt ashamed as she felt herself getting wet at the brief touch. 

Now it was gonna be a bit harder to drive home like this. When she had this distraction right beside her that left a burning sensation in her tummy. 

“Can you put your seatbelt on?” Jinsoul tells her as she’s putting her own on. She gets no reply so she turns to Sooyoung. 

The girl is slouched in the seat, her legs spread wide as her arms. Sooyoung had a hat on now turned to the side goofily. Jinsoul had to admit, before Sooyoung had...done whatever she had done she was was looking so damn fine. When they kept staring at each other from across the room. 

Jinsoul’s heart clenched everytime and it felt like her throat closed. 

Black jeans clung to hips and there was barely any fabric covering her torso. Jinsoul likes how tan Sooyoung’s gotten from the summer sun. Now Jinsoul couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. Sooyoung looked faded as hell. 

“Let’s just chill.” Jinsoul tilts her head at the girl not being able to hide her smile. For a moment it was like nothing happened between them. Jinsoul likes to think that they came to this party  _ together. _ She spent most of her time wishfully thinking about how things would be if she were to never been forced to separate from Sooyoung. 

How they probably would have been one of those disgustingly cute couples everyone hated. How they would arrive to parties attached to the hip only to leave early because they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Jinsoul sighs and reaches over, grabbing Sooyoung’s hand to place it back on her lap. She squeezes onto it tightly, her eyes burning from tears because it was so soft. 

They could have shared their love all this time. 

Sooyoung still held love in her eyes, but there was pain as well. Jinsoul hates herself, for being the one who caused it. They’re adults now they can deal with it. Being a teenager teaches you how to deal, having your heartbroken by your first love. Jinsoul can only hope she didn’t ruin the final part of Sooyoung’s youth. 

She was planning on making up for it however. By proving to Sooyoung that she wasn’t just her first love. 

Jinsoul learned to deal too, Sooyoung wasn’t the only one heartbroken. Jinsoul had to learn how to let her bestfriend slip through her fingers. Had to deal with that empty feeling for almost six years now. 

She couldn’t even imagine what Sooyoung felt. 

Now, the overdramatics of being immature and rebellion had passed. Jinsoul wasn’t angry anymore, just sad that a part of her life and Sooyoung’s was seemingly stolen. They had all the time in the world to fall in love again. If she ever fell out of it. 

“Do you still love me Jinsoul?” Popping one eye open she finds Sooyoung has leaned over. Only an inch away from her face. Jinsoul opens both of her eyes and turns to face Sooyoung. Their faces so close she can feel and smell the girl’s breath. 

Jinsoul wouldn’t lie, “I never stopped.” 

Sooyoung smiles and falls back into her own seat, “awe Soulie still loves me!” Sooyoung lifts their intertwined hands and brings it to her lips. Jinsoul begins to sweat when she feels Sooyoung’s silk like lips glide across her skin, applying pressure whenever. Jinsoul slips her hand out and cups Sooyoung’s cheek. “We’re not kids anymore you know.” 

Something flashes in Sooyoung’s eyes. 

“I think I can tell you now how much you hurt me.” Jinsoul lets a frown form. Sooyoung had never told her actually. Of course she begged and pleaded for Jinsoul to drop the act. Her pain showed through the tears and raspy voiced strained by emotion. 

Sooyoung is strangely staring straight ahead. Jinsoul rubs across her cheek before pulling away to start the car. “Let’s go home.” The car ride isn’t full of silence, it’s just Sooyoung constantly blabbering about nonsense. Jinsoul laughs and pats on Sooyoung leg whenever she makes a good joke. 

By the time they’re pulling into the driveway, Sooyoung is almost passed out. Jinsoul struggles dragging her in, it’s gotta be three in the morning. Opening the door slowly, thankfully no one is down stairs, “I think...sick.” Jinsoul panics and rushes to the bathroom. Sooyoung instantly falls to the toilet. Jinsoul cringes a bit when she hears the retching. 

Sitting beside Sooyoung she pulls the girl’s hat off and holds her hair up. Jinsoul lays her head down on Sooyoung’s back as she empties out her stomach. She was tired, she knows Sooyoung was too. Jinsoul would make sure Sooyoung was okay before finally resting. 

Sooyoung finally raises up and goes to lay back onto the bathtub. Jinsoul wipes off the extra nastiness off her face and pins her hair up for her. “Do you wanna shower?” Sooyoung shrugs, Jinsoul checks her watch. It was only 2am actually so Jinsoul guesses she can help clean her up quickly. 

Trying to fiddle with the shower she groans to herself, “the hell? I thought…” 

“Thing don’t work, you gotta...um, wiggle it.” Sooyoung waves her hand dramatically before slumping back over. Jinsoul finally gets the water running and looks up, only to find the absence of a shower head. 

Rolling her eyes she looks at Sooyoung who is snoring, slapping the girl awake she informs her, “you’re taking a bath, you smell like alcohol and weed.”  _ And that bitches perfume.  _ Jinsoul helps Sooyoung strip, ignoring certain things. Jinsoul has to close her eyes at one point, seeing Sooyoung naked was too much to handle but it was easy to fight the urge to look no matter how pretty her body was. Helping her into the warm water Jinsoul curses when Sooyoung slips a bit and falls into her arms. 

Jinsoul sits patiently as Sooyoung cleans up herself. At one point she begins nodding off again, so Jinsoul takes responsibility in rinsing Sooyoung off. Sooyoung giggles and flicks at the water, “drunk people are kinda like babies.” Jinsoul gives Sooyoung a questionable look before going back to getting the soap off. “Am I your baby Jinsoul?” 

Turning red in the face she mumbles out, “...yes.” 

“Can I get a kiss?” 

Sooyoung leans forward suddenly but Jinsoul’s instinct is to back away. Sooyoung pouts up...like a baby and seems pretty disappointed that she wasn’t successful. Jinsoul ignores it because she knows what kinda dangerous game kissing Sooyoung would bring. 

“I still think about it all the time, when you kissed me in that classroom.” Sooyoung rambles on, “I felt like...on fire or something.” Jinsoul agrees with a small nod of her head. She felt more than just fire, she felt like her body was melting into Sooyoung. 

“I don’t like kissing other people, I’m so afraid of forgetting what your kisses are like.” Jinsoul freezes, she was rinsing Sooyoung’s hair out. How could she resist something like that? Pinching Sooyoung’s chin she surges forward to plant a few fat kisses on the girl’s lips making small smacking noises. Jinsoul licks her own and can’t help but one more. 

By the time she’s finished getting her fill on Ha Sooyoung’s lips she’s a bit out of breath. Sooyoung looks higher than what she did before. Her smile dopey and eyes closed in bliss. “I don’t think I have to worry about it...yours are my favorite.” Sooyoung opens her eyes up, giving Jinsoul the satisfaction to see that her pupils are so blown. “I only want to kiss you.” 

Jinsoul ends up being pulled into the bathtub as well, her clothes soaking through as Sooyoung twists her around in her hold. 

~~~~ 

Finally getting Sooyoung in bed Jinsoul tries to not drip everywhere. Tucking in the girl she starts to walk off in search of some dry clothes, but she’s stopped by a weak hand on her wrist. “Please don’t go Jinsoul.” Not planning on leaving anyways, she promises the girl whose eyes are closed. 

“I’ll be right back okay?” She glides her hand across Sooyoung’s forehead that was oddly warm. Feeling around in the darkness she feels like a teenager again. When she’d sneak over late at night into Sooyoung’s room and change into the girl’s clothes. Pulling out a hoodie and some shorts just like she used to she starts to strip naked, until a lamp is turned on. 

With a gasp and a groan from the still drunk girl she hears her name being called out, “J-Jinsoul?” 

Turning around she smiles, “Hey Hyun...I’m just changing.” The younger girl rubs at her eyes sleepily. 

“I haven’t seen you here in awhile.” Jinsoul’s heart tears a bit. Shushing the girl, Hyun turns around and turns the light off. Jinsoul feels the exhaustion taking over so she quickly slips inside the covers beside Sooyoung. Spooning her from behind Jinsoul pulls Sooyoung’s back against her front, securely wrapping her arms around the girl’s small tummy. 

Slipping one of her legs between Sooyoung’s she hears the girl mumbling something about drinking. Jinsoul shuts her eyes and buries her face between Sooyoung’s shoulder blades. Sooyoung did something else...Jinsoul wasn’t for sure, but she’d never let Sooyoung be in danger like that again. 

As Jinsoul drifts off into sleep, she can feel her heartbeat drumming. She was...so happy. This must have been the happiest she’s been in a good bit. 

This is how it ought to be. 

This must finally be their restart. 

~~~~ 

Hyunjin was taking pictures of them, Jinsoul could only glare since she was trapped underneath Sooyoung who was still snoring at noon. Also...it was way too comfortable to move. Jinsoul keeps running her fingers through Sooyoung’s hair, she was probably the reason Sooyoung was still knocked out cold. 

Sooyoung’s younger sister squats, “how the hell can you look so peaceful when she sounds like an angry koala bear.” Jinsoul covers up her laugh with her idle hand. Sooyoung did snore pretty loud but it was only when she was sick. They did go to bed with wet heads so it must have been the reason why. 

“I gotta go to soccer practice...bye weirdo.” Hyunjin waves at her but before she walks out the door she hits Jinsoul with something that makes her heart explode, “I’m glad your her girlfriend again.” 

Before Jinsoul can say anything Hyunjin runs out the door.  _ G-girlfriend? _ More or less...that was Jinsoul’s dream. To be Ha Sooyoung’s girlfriend? Jinsoul smiles a bit to herself. Yeah, she wanted that to be true. Cracking her neck as she does so she presses her cheeks against Sooyoung’s head, “can I be your girlfriend?” Jinsoul doesn’t know how Sooyoung would react now that she was sober. 

She’s probably kick her out of the bed. 

Feeling her phone buzz Jinsoul quickly picks it up before it wakes Sooyoung. Covering the girl’s ear she answers it. 

“ _ Hi my angel.”  _

Jinsoul is at a loss of words at first, “dad?” 

_ “Yeah um...sweetie could you come home right now? It’s urgent.” _

Jinsoul’s dad hasn’t called her in years. It’s always been Mrs. Jung. She wishes she still had the relationship she used to have but her dad became...distance and pretty much hollow. Everytime Jinsoul saw him he looked either drunk or on something. But his voice on the line sounded sweet, like the man that used to take her to the pier for ice cream, packing her on his shoulders. 

She makes a choice, something had to be wrong. Kissing Sooyoung on her head and on the side of her mouth she carefully crawls out of the girl’s embrace. Her chest tightening when she hears Sooyoung whine from the loss of warmth. 

Sneaking down the stairs she hopes no one is in the living room. The last stair squeaks and Jinsoul bounces down. Checking to see if she was clear she lets her jaw hang when the twins and Ms.Ha are staring at her from the kitchen. 

Before they could even say anything Jinsoul runs out of the house. Bumping into Sooyoung’s Granma in the process. “Little soul is that you?” Jinsoul doesn’t answer and continues to her car. 

Sooyoung stands at her window, the blinds pulled back to watch Jinsoul pull out of the driveway at a rapid speed. Wishing she could remember how Jinsoul even got in her bed. The whole night was a black out. 

Closing the blinds she takes a deep breath, “Fuck…”

~~~~ 

Jinsoul carefully opens the door to her lonely home, it’s silent. Until she hears a clinging in the kitchen. Creeping inside she sees her father, for the first time in many years without a bottle in a brown paper bag in his hand. He’s cooking breakfast, it smelled horrible. “Daddy?” The man turns around, Jinsoul raises a brow. 

Why was everyone off their marbles, “Hi sweetie! I called Chae too she should be here but I needed to talk to you about something.” 

Jinsoul nods and makes her way to one of the stools sitting at the island as her dad burns some of the eggs he was fixing, “Dad? Is everything okay?” The man turns around, Jinsoul favored him, even his looks she took after her. His hair was a bit unkempt, his eye’s monolid but had dark bags underneath. His growing beard having specs of grey in it. 

He smelled of liquor but Jinsoul could tell he was sober. He was nervous, Jinsoul did the same thing when she was. He hugs her tightly in the seat. Jinsoul can’t remember the last time she got a hug from her dad. She hugs back just as eagerly, Jinsoul wouldn’t admit out loud. But she’s missed him. 

Once her dad pulls back, she doesn’t expect the bullshit that comes out his mouth, “Me and your mom is getting a divorce.” 

Jinsoul blinks, she’s dreamed of this day, “okay? We should celebrate.” Her father smiles but she knows something is wrong when there’s tears in his eyes. 

“She’s taking everything I own...I’m bankrupt Jinsoul.” 

Jinsoul lets her jaw drop, “bitch.” 

Her father laughs, they’ve shared from time to time their dislike for the woman that would forever be apart of their life. “I have some time, until she finishes that stupid ass book she’s writing. Wants to experience an unhealthy marriage for artistic experience.” Jinsoul frowns and rubs at her head. She’ll help her dad no matter what...but did this mean. 

“Dad does that mean…” Jinsoul asks quietly and the man puts some overly cooked eggs into a bowl for her. 

He looks at her with sad eyes, “yes. I’m sorry Jinsoul I-I don’t know what to do.” Jinsoul stands up so quickly the stool falls over. “I’m trying, but I sold the hospital I’m making you an account just gonna throw the money I have left in there.” 

Jinsoul doesn’t know she’s crying until the man’s hand comes up to wipe the tears. If her father was losing everything, that meant she had no money to continue college. No funding if she wouldn’t listen to her mom. It also meant… 

Sooyoung and her family would be left without a home. 

When Mr. Ha was ill they had no money, so they sold the rights to their property to pay. Jinsoul’s father had tried to give them back after the man had died, but her mother refused. Jinsoul remembers that fight, it had caused the scar on the left side of her Dad’s neck. 

If they divorced and her mom owned everything. Jinsoul would be left with no support unless she became a puppet, Sooyoung’s home would be in the hands of the evilest woman Jinsoul’s ever been graced with. 

“What do I do Jinsoul?” 

He’s pleading but Jinsoul can’t even feel sorry for him. This man used to be so strong only to be broken down pitifully. Jinsoul wouldn’t end up like him, she’d fight for her dreams. 

Still, in this moment, they felt impossible. 

Jinsoul runs to her room just like she did when she was fourteen. Slamming the door shut she covers her eyes with her hand. In the provided darkness she finds comfort. She can see the fireflies. 

For the second time in her life, she forgets how to breathe. 

~~~~ 

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me with all these stupid hoes.” Jinsoul smiles at Chaewon and shuffles her blonde hair on her head. Maybe when she got back she’d dye hers as well. 

This had been in the making for almost a year. Jinsoul was going to study abroad for a semester in Hawaii, doing an internship at the Haleakala observatory. Leaving her life behind for almost six months. Deep down she wanted to stay, she was so close to breaking through to Sooyoung. Almost close to the first step in rebuilding and fixing the cracks she’s caused over the years. 

But maybe this would be good. Jinsoul would really see where she’d be without seeing Sooyoung. She wonders if she’d be able to be okay. She wonders if Sooyoung would be okay. This was a crucial part of her career, and a test of her love. Jinsoul was nervous but she had her sisters support. 

She was going to miss this place. 

Jinsoul says her goodbye to Chaewon and her dad. The only people here to see her off. She could have told Sooyoung she was leaving, but she didn’t know their place. She didn’t even know if Sooyoung would honestly care. Maybe this would be their finally break. That thought was buried deep in Jinsoul’s mind. 

What if she comes back and Sooyoung has finally let her go. 

Turning, she pauses when her sister calls her name. The next thing Jinsoul knows is an envelope is being shoved into her hand. “Bye have fun!” Her dad says while wrapping an arm around the younger girl. 

Jinsoul stares at the envelope through the whole boarding process. When she’s lifting off into the air she finally rips it open. It’s a four page letter, enclosed with a kiss. 

_ Dear Jung Jinsoul,  _

_ I’ve never told you how much it hurt. _

_ When you told me we couldn’t be friends anymore. _

_ That night when you said you never cared about me.  _

_ Or never loved me.  _

_ It hurt a lot.  _

_ I still don’t know what to think.  _

_ Some days it’s like you still love me, just like the girl that would wait for me to get off the bus and fix that dumbass itchy uniform.  _

_ And other days I feel like you hate me.  _

_ It shouldn’t have hurt this much, friends move on all the time. They drift apart don’t they? It’s a part of life.  _

_ I don’t think you were just a friend. You weren’t just a friend to me then Jinsoul.  _

_ Wasn’t it obvious. _

_ Sometimes I feel like that was the reason you pushed me away. But I know it’s not the reason. One day I know you’ll tell me. _

_ Still it hurt so much, and maybe I shouldn’t still be hurting over it when it happened so long ago.  _

_ Five years Jinsoul, five years ago you broke my heart.  _

_ Maybe I should let you go, maybe it would be for the best. It’s not healthy, how much I still think about you.  _

_ It would be easier then though wouldn’t it. If we just forgot about each other and moved on like we’re supposed to.  _

_ But I can’t  _

_ I still love you so much it’s a pain in the ass.  _

_ How am I supposed to move on from something that never started?  _

_ I always get what I want.  _

_ You’re leaving today, for six months.  _

_ For fuck ass Hawaii.  _

_ I hope you have the time of your life, I hope you think of me.  _

_ Please don’t forget me.  _

_ I can’t wait for you to come back so I can start bothering you again, your face is cute when you’re mad.  _

_ I don’t think you hate me.  _

_ I miss you Jung Jinsoul.  _

_ So come home when your done with those stars, so I can show you the ones in the jar again.  _

_ Love, Ha Sooyoung  _

  1. _You’re still stupid and ugly._



Teardrops stain the letter, the photo of she and Sooyoung shakes in her fist. It was at the Halloween party, Jinsoul was kissing the girl’s cheek. Sooyoung’s eyes and nose scrunched up in happiness. 

Jinsoul smiles, she couldn’t wait to come home. 

~~~~ 

“Did you give her the letter?” Sooyoung is pacing the floor, she regretted it now. Her ass needed to let that girl go. This trip to Hawaii was the thing to do it. She was going to get over Jung Jinsoul. 

_ Who was she kidding.  _

Chaewon smiles, “don’t worry I seen your text! Threw that sappy shit away!” 

Sooyoung is relieved, now she had to focus on school, and never ever think about Jinsoul. 

~~~~ 

_ 2 months at Hawaii _

Jinsoul is writing down some paperwork, the data from last nights observations. Jinsoul rubs her eyes, she was exhausted. But Sooyoung’s letter was right, she was having so much fun. Jinsoul was happy, but there was something missing. 

Sighing she shakes her head. She needed to do this work. 

“Hiii miss Korea,” her advisor calls out. Jinsoul hums at the man.. 

Smiling at him she waves a tiny bit, “Hi Dr. Davis.” He had a weird mustache and dark skin. Jinsoul would often make fun of his grandpa glasses. Out of all the employee’s here he was her favorite. 

He sits next to her, a ham and cheese sandwich in hand. “Bored yet?” 

Jinsoul smirks, “nope.” 

She can hear him chowing down next to her, “you miss home? You don’t really talk about it.” Jinsoul staggers a bit, she didn’t really talk about her personal life here. Dr. Davis was the one that ever asked. Jinsoul knew a good bit about him, he constantly talked about his five children. His oldest being the same age as Jinsoul. 

Jinsoul had only talked about her sister. Putting her pen down she wants to test out how...accepting Dr. Davis is. At home a lot of people especially older would turn their heads at such topics. “I miss my girlfriend.” Jinsoul blushes as she says it, she must be crazy, to say Sooyoung was her girlfriend. But it felt right. 

Dr. Davis stops chewing, “oh?” Jinsoul nods at the silent question. Was this girlfriend a friend that was a girl...or a  _ girlfriend.  _ The man laughs, wiping some crumbs off his chin, “is she pretty?” 

Jinsoul smiles wide, “the prettiest.” Pulling her bag out she retrieves the picture Sooyoung gave her in the letter and hands it to the man. Along with showing him pictures on her phone. 

“Awe, you two are cute!” Jinsoul thanks him. The whole time she’s been here she hasn’t really thought of Sooyoung, or she likes to think she hasn’t. The girl passed by her mind every hour or so. It would leave a weird feeling in her chest. But talking about her in such a manner, it made Jinsoul’s whole chest flutter. 

“We were best friends and then one day, it just happened.” Jinsoul knows if things didn’t turn out the way they did. She would be Sooyoung’s. It was a gut feeling. 

“Me and my wife were good friends until I drunkenly told her I was in love with her.” Jinsoul raises a brow at Dr. Davis who seems to be reliving a memory. “Now I have five babies with her!” 

Jinsoul laughs along with the man, they speak about the two. Sooyoung and Dr. Davis’ wife. Jinsoul feels so comfortable with him, like she wish she did at home. Jinsoul hopes Sooyoung is doing okay. 

_ Back home Sooyoung stares at the girl she just slept with. Putting her clothes back on she tries to not cry. Sooyoung leaves the strangers home and heads back to her own bed. Regretting the decision she has made.  _

~~~~ 

_ 4 months in Hawaii  _

Free days were Jinsoul’s favorite, she went sightseeing, eating at overly expensive restaurants. She was tan now which was a bit odd. Today she was chilling on some remote beach, some people walking by and swimming. 

Jinsoul lays and takes in the sun, she was content. 

Everyday it go easier, actually being away from Sooyoung helped with the pain. But it made her miss her more and more. Jinsoul was starting to move on, not from Sooyoung, but from the past. She was ready to bury it and have closure. 

It was time for a new chapter. 

Jinsoul was stupid to think she wanted to get over Sooyoung during this trip. If anything she’s gotten even more crazy over Sooyoung. But it was different. 

Instead of thinking of all the negatives Jinsoul thought of the positives. She was going to fight for Sooyoung.

Jinsoul props her phone up in the sand and sits in front of it. Her black hair was curled by the sea water. The sun hat covered almost half of her face. Every so often she’d film a small vlog just talking about her trip. She needed it for her professors back at school for a part of her grade. 

Taking a deep breath she hits record, but today she wasn’t talking about her research. 

“I miss you.” She twirls her fingers into the sand. “It’s really amazing here, I think you would love it just as much as I do.” Jinsoul covers her face with her hat, suddenly embarrassed, “I keep telling people that you're my girlfriend.” 

“That’s probably not right I know, but I wish you were.” 

“I want to bring you here one day.” 

Jinsoul makes a small noise, god if Sooyoung actually saw this... Jinsoul continues to talk to herself. Telling Sooyoung all about her trip and the people she’s met. She wonders what Sooyoung’s doing while she’s all the way over here. 

From that day Jinsoul starts to take videos for Sooyoung. From just talking to her, to showing her the coolest things on the island. 

One day Jinsoul would give them to Sooyoung. 

~~~~ 

_ One week before the return.  _

Sweat coats her body, Jinsoul covers her mouth with the hand that’s not so busy. Late at night when Jinsoul couldn’t sleep her mind would go to not so innocent places, most of those thoughts would be filled with Sooyoung. 

Just like her fingers were filling her right now. 

Jinsoul squeezes her eyes shut when the relief washes over her. Taking her hand off her mouth she whines a bit before taking her fingers out. 

Tonight’s fantasy was more vulgar than previous ones. Jinsoul was starting to let herself free, she was allowed to have these feelings. She’s made up her mind entirely. 

She didn’t care to be crazy over Ha Sooyoung anymore. Jinsoul was a woman with free will. What she wanted was back home. 

She wanted Sooyoung. 

Of course she could survive without the girl. But how unfulfilling would her life be without the girl who is her soulmate. Smiling she starts to feel a bit gross, “sorry Sooyoung.” 

Going to clean herself up in the bathroom she looks at herself in the mirror, “am I crazy?” Maybe she was a bit, she’s been away from all her friends for so long. All these people were so weird and she was becoming like them. 

Was she gonna be a kooky scientist… 

She hopes Sooyoung finds it cute. 

Laying back in bed shuddering when she thinks about what she had just done she smiles. Over in the corner there’s a small journal, the one she’s had for years. 

The last page details an intricate plan. 

_ How to win Ha Sooyoung’s heart back: step by step guide to making the love of my life happy.  _

First Jinsoul planned to become Sooyoung’s friend again, then be her best friend who occasionally kissed her and maybe...was a little too touchy. Then finally when Jinsoul felt the moment was right, she would tell Sooyoung or show her, how she’s loved her all these years. 

It was perfect. 

The only problem was she wasn’t for sure how Sooyoung would react. Jinsoul had to play it cool at first, act like she was just you know casually wanting to hang out or something. 

But that wasn’t so easy, she knows Sooyoung would want an explanation. 

That’s one thing Jinsoul isn’t for sure she can do. 

They weren’t just friends that had drifted apart, Jinsoul knows they were so close to being lovers. That deserved more than just a reconnection, this would take a lot of healing and a lot of effort from Jinsoul, but she was more than willing to give. 

She’d make sure Sooyoung would be treated like a princess. Once they got through all the hard stuff. 

Jinsoul smiles just thinking of it, Sooyoung being her baby again. 

She falls asleep dreaming of it. 

~~~~ 

Walking through the airport she couldn't contain her excitement. Outside there was a taxi waiting for her, she was going home, then straight to Sooyoung’s. 

Jinsoul wanted to tell her how much she’s missed her. 

Jinsoul knows it’s so sudden and it would probably overwhelm Sooyoung but she couldn’t wait any longer. Her love couldn’t be put on hold. 

Freezing in her step all those happy thoughts go down the drain. 

Standing in the distance is Mrs. Jung, her father who looked too skinny and… 

Jinsoul starts to tremble, “Kwon.” Her ex-boyfriend. 

_ What the hell happened in the sixth months she was gone. _

~~~~

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter highkey a mess! But I think it’s nice hehe maybe...


	21. Hold you till you’re breaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains smut! So I will put up a little warning where to stop when the plot stuff ends and the other stuff begins :D

Faced with one of the hardest, but somehow easiest decisions of her life _because she knew what she wanted,_ Jinsoul stares at the chipped paint on her door. If she played it like her father wanted her to, she could escape from the childhood filled with manipulation and abusive control of her mother. If she didn’t, she could end up broke without anywhere to go and Sooyoung’s home would be in the hands of Mrs. Jung.

Jinsoul had nobody, she had her dad who was trying his best to keep the woman from being home. She had no family, well her m-..Mrs. Jung had family. Her dad had two sisters, Krystal and Jessica. Both of them being a bit of a mystery to the world, showing up whenever the time seemed right.

To wrap it up, she could bring Sooyoung down with her. Sharing her love and also her burdens. Or she could just wait it out until she had some plan where she could save everyone in the downfall. Or...she could finally let Sooyoung go. Jinsoul’s selfishly kept her on some sort of leash ll these years. She knows it’s not been good for Sooyoung’s heart.

One final break however would set Sooyoung free, to live her life as she wants without the if’s and but’s pertaining to Jinsoul. She’s always been hot and cold with the girl. Jinsoul can’t be both no longer, she needs to choose one.

Jinsoul’s been away for a week now. She can’t remember her last meal. Her plan was to keep Sooyoung at a distance again, while not fully pushing her away. Just stop the rapidly growing relationship they were developing. Get a job, save up the money and give it all to the Ha family. She also couldn’t go to Japan, that meant she wouldn’t be able to even see Sooyoung.

But in reality she could get a lot of money there, would it be worth it.

Reaching forward Jinsoul’s hand wraps around the doorknob, opening it. She realizes her decision is already made. 

Tears start to burn, the love of her life is still there. Right in front of her with something stirring behind her eyes. Jinsoul feels like time has stopped, she can’t make plans anymore. She can’t sit and overthink things until she throws up from the anxiety. Jinsoul can’t think of the consequences. The best thing that’s ever happened to her won’t give her up.

She’s never been so thankful for Sooyoung’s stubbornness

Sooyoung won’t give her up.

Jinsoul loved the stars as much as she loved Sooyoung. She loved Sooyoung just as much as she did the stars. Sooyoung was her shooting star. A dream come true in the nightmare that her life has been so far. Jinsoul would look up at the night sky every night when she was sixteen. Wishing for a chance on Sooyoung.

Where she had to woo her like in one of those cheesy romance movies. Instead, Jinsoul had to avoid the thing she wished for. Because with every prize comes a challenge. Her challenge was the woman who ruined her life. 

Jinsoul takes a deep breath and lets the door swing wider. She’s fought her feelings all her life, she wants to drown in them now. Jinsoul would fight for that now, she’ll find a way, she’ll fight for her love. 

It’s what most people do.

If she and Sooyoung have kept these feelings all these years filled with obstacles, years of pain and guilt, years of heartbreak. That has to prove this love is true. Jinsoul would be silly to let something that strong go. So she’s not, Jinsoul won’t give up.

“Changed your mind?” Sooyoung’s voice is deep, just like her stare. Jinsoul doesn’t have an answer, she’s never changed her mind. It’s always been dead set on one thing. Just like in the countless love letters she wrote. For the rest of her days she wanted to admire the stars with Sooyoung.

Her first love with her true love.

Jinsoul tilts her head and leans in, her decision in final. From now on she’d only love Sooyoung, what she felt like she was meant to do. Jinsoul wants to convince Sooyoung that she’s always loved her. The kiss determines what they’ll do for the next few hours.

She already feels the heat pool in her stomach when the kiss is nothing less than desperation and desire in one. Sooyoung’s hands push her inside the room further, Jinsoul keeps her lips moving afraid if she stops then she’ll wake up from this dream. Finding out that Sooyoung actually left instead of returning.

The door is slammed along with Sooyoung’s body Jinsoul is eager to get close to. To melt into. Breaking their kiss with a pop she pushes Sooyoung against the wood that creaks from constant mishandling. Jinsoul can’t stand it, Sooyoung was already out of breath, so she wrapped a hand around the girl’s throat to feel just how hard she tries. 

“Do you think we can keep this a secret?”

Sooyoung’s eyes drop at the tone of her voice. Jinsoul’s been waiting for this moment forever. When she’ll finally get to live that fantasy that’s been stuck inside her head. When she’ll be able to feel how much Sooyoung loves her and vice versa. 

Her entire life has felt fake, but this was the realest feeling she’s ever had.

Sex has always been an avoided topic for Jinsoul, because most of the time her thoughts would cloud with Sooyoung. The night they made each other cum was just a tease. Jinsoul would toss and turn at night thinking of the girl’s moans, how her body shook when she was overcome by the pleasure.

They fit together like pieces of a puzzle, Sooyoung’s warmth was like no other. It had Jinsoul dipping her fingers down below with the girl’s name trapped in her mouth. Only to be let out when her arousal hit its peak.

Sooyoung is trying to push forward, to meet her lips again, “we can only try right?” Jinsoul smiles full of affection. Sooyoung had her heart out in the open while Jinsoul kept hers away. Jinsoul would give everything to Sooyoung now. 

She’d give her all her love she’s denied for the past few years.

Jinsoul wonders if Sooyoung has had trouble sleeping at night as well. The thoughts of them giving into each other making it hard to rest. Jinsoul has lost a lot of hours pretending her fingers were Sooyoung’s, she’s spent a lot of time listening to other girl’s stories of how good her lover was. 

Recalling to the night Sooyoung confessed to her Jinsoul remembers how lost Sooyoung seemed to be in her. How Sooyoung admitted she couldn’t stop thinking about it. Jinsoul wanted to share too, how she’s never been able to get it out of her head. 

Moving her hand up to cradle the face that stays in dreams she rubs at the flushed cheek. Her lips fall towards Sooyoung’s like magnets, “I’m insane to think I could stay away from you.” Jinsoul couldn’t do this anymore, now knowing how Sooyoung felt. How could she reject her when she felt just the same. 

Jinsoul whines when she feels Sooyoung’s hands grip down at the bottom. She’s come to realize that Sooyoung really liked her ass...and well Jinsoul really liked it when Sooyoung wouldn’t be polite in the way she grabs it. Her hips bump into Sooyoung’s and Jinsoul kisses her deeply before pulling back. 

She bangs Sooyoung into the door to try to get as close as possible. Jinsoul can’t keep the noises in as Sooyoung roughly squeezes onto her ass to pull her against her. Jinsoul’s hands find Sooyoung’s waist and she begins to kiss her again. Jinsoul thinks time has stopped, their locked out from the rest of the world. Allowed to enjoy themselves with some peace.

Sooyoung’s kisses are too good to be true, Jinsoul grabs her belt buckle to pull on it. Jerking on it Sooyoung stumbles forward and Jinsoul bites down hard on the lips she’s become addicted to. She moves her hands up to slip underneath Sooyoung’s shirt. The soft skin burns underneath Jinsoul’s palms, along with the muscles twitching as she digs her nails into it. 

Jinsoul licks at Sooyoung’s lips before moving to her side, kissing around her sharp jaw and biting the skin there. When she scratches at Sooyoung’s spine and nibbles around a sensitive spot, the girl lets out a small moan that has Jinsoul’s eyes opening. Sooyoung is already building up a sweat and her eyes are scrunched closed. Her eyebrows knotted together as Jinsoul kisses the rest of her way up to Sooyoung’s ear.

Pressing her lips against her ear Sooyoung pulls away and trembles in Jinsoul’s hold. She chases after the sensitive area, Sooyoung grips hard, her nails digging through Jinsoul’s jeans. Jinsoul knows how it feels, how all your insides go completely mushy. The arousal seems to flood down below. 

Jinsoul smiles and kisses and bites at Sooyoung’s ear, pleased to see how sensitive the girl is. Nibbling on her lobe Jinsoul wants to voice her desire, “do you know how many times I’ve fucked myself to get the thought of you out of my head?” Jinsoul’s practiced, she wanted to be good for Sooyoung. Some twisted images in her head to drive her moans. Sometimes Jinsoul felt sick from how much she wanted those fantasies to be true.

Now it was, and the pressure in her tummy was making her nauseous. Jinsoul was so anxious. “But I can’t stop thinking about it Sooyoung, how much I want you.” 

_I’ve always wanted you._

Sooyoung sighs noisily and opens her eyes slightly, Jinsoul was running a fever from how hot she’s gotten. Her heart was beating straight out of her chest, down below was getting too hard to ignore. Jinsoul wanted to get fucked, she wanted Sooyoung to ruin her. The hands on her ass raises up and Jinsoul’s jaw is grabbed roughly. 

This kiss proves that she talked a little too much. She’s pushed Sooyoung over the edge, Jinsoul chokes a bit when Sooyoung shoves her tongue inside her mouth. Jinsoul’s not allowed to kiss back from the fingers gripping her jaw. She just allows Sooyoung to take advantage of her. Jinsoul doesn’t understand how someone could taste this good.

Jinsoul needs Sooyoung more than ever, she was going to go crazy if Sooyoung didn’t do something soon. The low throb in her stomach was painful and her legs squeezed together for some relief that wasn’t so effective. Jinsoul’s fingers tremble against Sooyoung’s back. She drags her nails back to Sooyoung’s tummy, a throaty moan coming out when Sooyoung sucks on her tongue.

Sooyoung’s other hand goes back to her ass to hold her close. Jinsoul was trying to break free because she couldn’t breathe. It felt so good but she wanted to be alive by the end of it. Jinsoul loses her dominance that she started off with, because Sooyoung is much more experienced and knows exactly how to paralyze her.

Jinsoul follows her lead as she’s pushed further into the room. Their kiss is broken as they look at each other. Jinsoul is bumped into her desk. She holds on tightly as Sooyoung lifts her to the surface. Jinsoul gets dizzy from how gorgeous Sooyoung is in the morning light. Her features seem softer than normal. Her eyes hold so much affection even if her touch was aggressive. 

In a split second Jinsoul sees all the love in Sooyoung’s small smile, before the girl connects their lips again.

These kisses are slower and less desperate. They smack against each other in a rhythm. Sooyoung’s lips are plump and they’re swelling Jinsoul’s own. Tilting her head she deepens it, Jinsoul thought these kisses were only in fiction. But Sooyoung was sensual with the way she moved. It was making Jinsoul’s mind go to silly putty.

Sooyoung licks around her lips in a way Jinsoul can’t comprehend. How someone could be so smooth was crazy to her. She holds Sooyoung’s face like it’s the most fragile thing in the world as the girl continues to kiss her like her life depended on it. Jinsoul’s never kissed anyone like this, she always refused. It was the least she could do. To be loyal to Sooyoung.

The girl’s hands squeeze at her waist making her light headed. Sooyoung breaks their kiss and Jinsoul can’t help but be disappointed because she wanted to kiss Sooyoung all day long if she could. Sooyoung made her feel so good, she’d never get over it as long as she lived. She couldn’t get enough of the girl. 

Jinsoul tries to catch her breath but it’s hard when Sooyoung is using her lips on her throat like that. She leaned her head back to give Sooyoung more room to work. Jinsoul can feel shaky hands at her jeans, one of them trying to pop the button up. He insides squeeze, this was really happening, Sooyoung was going to… 

Jinsoul would feel the girl inside of her. She doesn’t know what to expect, she knows it would be different from the times she’s done it to herself. Sooyoung was going to fuck her and she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to hold her conscious. Jinsoul grinds up into Sooyoung, it was the only way this pain between her legs was bearable. 

Her limbs are wrapped around Sooyoung like a koala, she massages into the girl’s tense shoulders to encourage her to keep going. Sooyoung’s teeth graze across her skin in a frantic manner. Jinsoul didn’t want to be on this desk however. “N-not here baby,” she tells Sooyoung with a muffled voice.

Jinsoul wouldn’t be able to feel Sooyoung all the way against her like this. She wanted Sooyoung to fit against her, she wanted to be able to pull her down and feel the contact when Sooyoung fucked her. If she wasn’t grounded by Sooyoung’s body on top of hers she may float off from how high she was feeling. 

Sooyoung pulls back with her eyes clouded with arousal. She pulls on the back of Jinsoul’s knees and lifts from underneath her thighs. Jinsoul holds on as Sooyoung barely moves them to the floor. Jinsoul wants to laugh, her bed wasn’t that far away but she couldn’t wait any longer. They’d have plenty of time to try out every surface.

Jinsoul is gently laid onto the carpet, her heart explodes at how much Sooyoung adores her. She can see it in her eyes that have lost the cloud of lust. Jinsoul helps Sooyoung get situated between her legs and she holds her face. Jinsoul could almost cry with the way Sooyoung looks at her. Like it was only them that existed, like Jinsoul was everything. Jinsoul didn’t know she was that to Sooyoung.

Time really does stop, as Sooyoung smiles at her with her eyes and lips. Jinsoul smiles back, she was so in love with this girl it was painful and freeing at the same time. Painful from how she’s had to wait, freeing that she was finally in her embrace. Sooyoung seems to be thinking the same thing, how far they’ve come since they were only fourteen. 

The morning light tries to squeeze between them but Sooyoung doesn’t allow it, Jinsoul pulls her down further when she leans in for a kiss. All the desperation drains out of them as everything becomes intimate. They knew they didn’t have to rush, time was frozen. They could stay in this moment forever if they were allowed to. 

Jinsoul relaxes into the kiss, until Sooyoung grinds her hips down roughly into her own. It reminds her that she’s soaking wet and she needs something else relieved other than her heart. Jinsoul scrunches her eyes closed as the intimacy gains passion. Jinsoul kinda feels dirty when Sooyoung squeezes her throat with her hand and slips her tongue across her lips to ask for permission.

Of course Jinsoul opens up and let's Sooyoung’s tongue enter her mouth. It sets Jinsoul’s whole body on fire if it wasn’t so numb from the pleasure. Jinsoul felt like she was shutting down and the only place that still held some nerves was in between her legs. Where it was hot and wet, somewhere that was begging to be touched. 

Jinsoul tries to keep up, with the roll of Sooyoung’s hips that were way too erotic, along with the swirl of tongue inside of her mouth. Jinsoul tries to keep up...she bucks her own hips up and presses her tongue against Sooyoung’s. She can’t keep the moans in now. They vibrate against Sooyoung’s hand on her throat and make her hips tremble when they meet Sooyoung’s. 

Sooyoung pulls away and Jinsoul is about to protest until Sooyoung’s tongue is replaced by her thumb. Jinsoul instantly wraps her lips around it and opens her eyes up to meet Sooyoung’s hooded stare. She can see the girl mouth a curse but her voice never slips out. The grind of Sooyoung’s hips become rougher and Jinsoul claws into the girl’s back. 

She bites down on her finger because it feels so good. Sooyoung licks at her one lips and bites them when she presses against Jinsoul’s tongue. Jinsoul narrows her eyes as she gagged a bit, not even embarrassed as a bit of her salvia spills out the side of her mouth. Sooyoung continues to mess with her mouth as her shirt is lifted. Jinsoul can feel Sooyoung’s palm on her tummy, rubbing into her softly. 

Sooyoung’s voice is so raspy now, Jinsoul can tell how tight her throat is by the hoarse tone. “I wanna know how bad you want to me to fuck you.” Jinsoul moans loudly for an answer and Sooyoung seems pleased when she forces her thumb deeper in. Jinsoul chokes a bit but doesn’t mind, Sooyoung could do whatever she liked.

Soon the thumb is taking out and helps with the tearing of her shirt. Jinsoul would be mad but she’s distracted by Sooyoung’s tongue back in her mouth. Jinsoul’s shirt is removed quickly and thrown somewhere off in the distance. Sooyoung brings Jinsoul’s thighs to rest around her waist. “You gonna show me how much you want me?” Sooyoung kisses down her neck and bites down on her collarbone.

Jinsoul wanted those lips everywhere, they were so soft and rough at the same time. Opening her eyes she smiles at Sooyoung who was staring right back at her. She’s never been so ready for something in her life. Grabbing Sooyoung’s belt buckle she raises up just a bit, nipping at her lips as she tugs on the leather. 

“Why don’t you see for yourself?”

Jinsoul tilts her head.

“Ha Sooyoung.”

*** **Here’s where to stop!**

With Jinsoul’s thighs wrapped around her waist and the heat beneath her palm, Sooyoung can’t remember how to breathe. Staring down Jinsoul’s chest shakes as she tries to catch up, Sooyoung feels light headed suddenly. 

Her fingers burn as she drags them across Jinsoul’s skin. The girl was so hot Sooyoung was afraid she was going to melt if she kept her hand there any longer. 

Sooyoung’s too busy taking in Jinsoul’s perfect figure to notice that her belt is being fiddled with. Jinsoul was desperately trying to pull it off and tug her jeans down. She senses the frustration when Jinsoul groans at her to move a bit faster than she was. However, Sooyoung wanted to take forever. Afraid as soon as it ended the dreamy atmosphere would flow away. The air around them even felt good.

Leaning up she strips of her shirt, earning a gasp from the blonde wrapped up in her. Sooyoung didn’t know if she was sweating this bad, or if it was Jinsoul’s sweat sticking to her. Sooyoung changes the gears, leaning down to lay on top of Jinsoul, only using one hand to keep herself from squishing the girl while the other let itself roam around the curve Jinsoul’s waist.

Soon she understands that Jinsoul wanted to be suffocated when she has two arms wrapped around the back of her neck and she’s pulled down fully on top of her. A pair of pouty lips meets her in the action and Sooyoung closes her eyes, missing the feeling even though they had just kissed moments ago. 

Now both of her hands are free to roam, going everywhere that there’s exposed skin. Sooyoung’s always loved how soft Jinsoul was, but she hated it in this moment, she couldn’t focus on anything else but the urge to just grab all over. Her hands find a tougher surface. Jinsoul’s jeans are preventing her from feeling more of the silky smooth skin. 

Sooyoung carefully feels around Jinsoul’s thighs that were still around her back pulling her down tightly in between them. She’s still kissing Jinsoul, her eyes closed slowly moving her lips against Jinsoul’s own as if she’d disappear any second. Sooyoung relaxed for a minute, not wanting to break the kiss just yet. Once her fingers started to twitch, however she had to break apart.

Popping their lips apart she looks down at Jinsoul, whose pupils are blown from the arousal. That’s when Sooyoung is reminded of her own, suddenly she’s squeezing her legs together, uncomfortable at the dull ache and wetness between them. Biting down on her lips the check if they were numb she sees Jinsoul do the same, Sooyoung moves her hands in between their bodies to find the button to her desires.

She snaps Jinsoul’s jeans open and pulls the zipper down, Sooyoung raises up and looks down. Jinsoul was sucking in a bit at the cold sensation of air against her her tummy. Her mouth waters at the girls tensed muscles, she’s seen them countless times before but it was different when she’d be able to explore the area with her lips. Looking back up she grumbles out with a raspy voice, “lift your hips baby.” 

Jinsoul quietly giggles and makes a small _hmph_ noise as she lifts up. Sooyoung tugs then down slowly, huffing when they get a little stuck around the girl’s knees. Jinsoul even makes it a little difficult as she refuses to let Sooyoung raise up fully, “Jinsoul...your jeans.” The girl whines a tiny bit before letting Sooyoung raise up into a kneeling position to jerk the rest of the pants off to throw them somewhere behind her.

Sooyoung is almost drooling staring at Jinsoul’s body, the sun was still dull through the window. Giving off a slow glow that made Jinsoul’s skin tone look heavenly. “Sooyoung come back.” She’s forced to look back up when she hears the slow voice. Tilting her head at the suddenly pouty girl Sooyoung grabs onto the back of her knees and pulls her closer. Jinsoul squeaks as she’s dragged across the carpet and when Sooyoung grabs on tightly to her hips.

Kneading into the bit fat on Jinsoul’s hips Sooyoung can’t help but say it, “you’re so beautiful.” Jinsoul’s small pout turns into something not so surprising. Sooyoung can see the fondness in Jinsoul’s eyes, she’s sure they’re reflecting her own. Reaching behind her Sooyoung tugs the tank top that was under her shirt off. The chill instantly hitting her body since she was still hot from being against Jinsoul.

When she’s unsnapping her bra Jinsoul replies, “you make me feel that way,” _You make me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world._ Her voice is more drawled out than usual. Like she was just learning how to speak properly. Truthfully, Jinsoul had lost a bit of intelligence when she saw Sooyoung stripping from her clothes. Her tummy wasn’t muscular but it had been toned from the constant athletics Sooyoung was committed too. She had a slight curve to her waist unlike Jinsoul’s whose was more defined, and her titties sat nicely on her chest with small nipples that were dark as her skin. 

When Sooyoung goes to undo her belt a small hand stops her, “I want to.” Removing her hands she allows Jinsoul to scoot closer and raise up. The blondes legs on either side of her. Sooyoung was still kneeling while Jinsoul had only raised her knees up as well as she started to undo the jeans, the only noise in the room being their shallow breaths and small jingle. “Have you ever thought of me like...this?” Sooyoung stares down at the nervous hands pulling her pants down, nimble fingers edging near her underwear.

Jinsoul’s lips ghost around her collar bones and travel around her chest but never making a connection. “Have I ever thought about fucking you?” The blonde slowly nods while glancing up with hooded eyelids and finally places her lips in a random area of Sooyoung’s chest. The kiss is full and leaves the skin tingling there. Sooyoung doesn’t quite know how to answer a question like that.

She thought about it more than she’d like to admit. Sooyoung’s always wanted to be more than just intimate with Jinsoul. She can’t pinpoint when the wet dreams began, or the zoning out recurred more often. But they’ve been there, ranging from how she thinks Jinsoul would sound when she moaned to what she tasted like. Even as more innocent things like if she would be the big spoon or little one after it was over. Sooyoung found herself thinking of taking Jinsoul over and over again, a lot, she really didn’t want to admit it. 

_I want to hold you till you’re breaking_

“Yes.” It’s a simple answer to a complex thought. Sooyoung’s mind raced at how many scenarios she’d make up of her and Jinsoul. Like the ones where Jinsoul would apologize to her by sneaking into her bed late at night and choking out her moans with her tongue. Or them arguing and the tension becomes so high that the only way of dealing with it was by pushing her fingers deep, until she fucked the frustration out of Jinsoul. From making up for lost time to hate sex. Sooyoung doesn’t know what turns her on more. 

The best though for her heart, was this. Finally being able to share her love with a touch. Slowly pouring her emotions into the girl she adored. This is how she really wanted it to be at the end. Her scenarios can remain in her head. They may have made her wet, but they didn’t make her heart pound like this. 

Jinsoul leaves small kisses all around, nuzzling her nose in a certain spot that was softer than the others. Sooyoung acts without thinking and brings her hands up to push through Jinsoul’s hair. Scratching at the girl’s scalp as she continues to take in the sensations of her lips, “so I’m your fantasy?” Shivering at the lowered voice, Jinsoul’s was already deep, so when Sooyoung was spoken to she can feel it right in her core that was already painfully aching. “Am I Sooyoung?” Her name has never sounded so sweet.

Jinsoul bites down on the fleshier part of her chest making her whimper. Sooyoung drags her other hand up to Jinsoul’s cheek as she nibbles on her skin. The girl makes her heart shake as she turns to kiss and suck the inside of her palm. Sooyoung becomes weak, how could those be fantasies when she was living in one right now. “You’ve always been the girl I’ve wanted Jinsoul.” Sooyoung watches as Jinsoul’s eyes close, the lips that we on the inside of her palm are replaced with a warm cheek. 

The fingers that were tickling below her tummy dip into her underwear slowly and Sooyoung gasps falling forward to lean her head on Jinsoul’s. Sooyoung tries kissing Jinsoul but fingers slipped inside her, ripping a moan out of her throat. Jinsoul makes a small noise too, her jaw dropping at how wet Sooyoung is. Grabbing onto the girl’s wrist her face falls to Jinsoul’s shoulder. 

Sooyoung shakes at how good it feels when Jinsoul starts to move, it’s not where she wants it, but when Jinsoul circles her fingers over and over again, they get closer to the spot. Jinsoul’s other hand slips from behind, laying it flat on her ass. Sooyoung squeezes her thighs around the hand between them. “ _It’s so…_ ” Jinsoul breathes out and tries to pull Sooyoung closer and shove her hands in further but she’s not allowed by Sooyoung’s tight grip on her wrist and unmoving body. 

Jinsoul breaks her down by whispering in her ear, it makes everything more intense, “ _you’re so wet for me_.”

She grits her teeth, Sooyoung didn’t know if she should give in or if she should push Jinsoul away. She already felt so weak, Sooyoung was sure if she let Jinsoul take control, she wouldn’t be able to do anything. Taking her hands she pushes Jinsoul back down, her hands drag back up and the girl protests with a groan. Sooyoung kicks the rest of her jeans away as Jinsoul patiently waits for her, getting pouty from the lack of contact. When she’s only in her panties Sooyoung raises up and teases Jinsoul a bit by crawling back to her slowly. 

Hovering over the blonde’s body she snorts when Jinsoul starts to squirm, eventually taking her bra off. Sooyoung smiles as Jinsoul tries to take both of their underwear off but she stops the frantic hands, “why are you in a rush?” Jinsoul’s hands are clammy in her own, the girl looks like she was about to pass out. Sooyoung maneuvers both their hands above Jinsoul’s head so that she has the blonde pinned. With her face over Jinsoul’s she wiggles around until the girl’s thighs wrap back around her waist and she’s settled in between them. 

Jinsoul huffs and throws her head back from feeling Sooyoung’s skin on hers, their bodies fit together comfortably. “I wanna know what I’ve been missing.” It’s so honest it takes a minute for Sooyoung to register it in her mind. All these years she didn’t really know what it’s like being with Jinsoul. It’s all been in her head. 

Tightening one hand around Jinsoul’s wrists she brings her other to feel on her waist. Kissing Jinsoul roughly she thinks they’ve waited long enough for this moment. Sooyoung swallows all of Jinsoul’s moans before releasing her hands entirely. Jinsoul goes straight back to embracing her as she breaks their kiss to move to the girl’s sharp jawline. Jinsoul keeps whispering out her name over and over again as Sooyoung explores the sticky skin of her throat. 

She lays her tongue flat to feel the vibrations of Jinsoul’s heavy breath. Sooyoung starts to get more anxious the lower she kisses. Jinsoul partially likes one spot beneath her jaw, and around her ear. It makes her claw at Sooyoung’s back and choke on air. Sooyoung smiles against her when she hears her name being said so desperately. She knew Jinsoul wanted her, but not this bad.

Jinsoul’s inpatientence is noticed so Sooyoung reassures her, “baby I’ll take care of you I promise.” It doesn’t help at all actually, since Jinsoul pinches at the muscles on her back. Sooyoung picks up her pace a little bit, maybe she could go slow next round or the...next. She wasn’t letting Jinsoul off so easily. 

She moves down her body quickly, leaving a trail of burning kisses down Jinsoul’s torso. The girl’s tummy dips when Sooyoung drags her lips around her belly button. Sooyoung finally makes it down between Jinsoul’s thighs and her throat dries out at the site. Hooking her fingers around her panties she checks once more with Jinsoul. The girl wasn’t even looking, she had a hand over her face and the other gripping into the carpet. 

In truth, Jinsoul was about to explode. If Sooyoung barely touched her the fuse would go off.

Pulling down her panties Sooyoung’s eyes pop out of her head basically. She could see how wet Jinsoul was, instantly she becomes impatient as well. Jerking the girl’s underwear down, she quickly crawls halfway up Jinsoul’s body. Leaning on her side she sneaks an arm underneath Jinsoul and holds her waist with that hand. Resting her right hand on her tummy she kisses the side of Jinsoul’s tittie. 

The girl’s chest stumbled up and down. Her voice was shallow and rasp. Her legs subconsciously spreading as Sooyoung rubbed around her tummy. Sooyoung takes a deep breath and voices her fear, “I’m kinda nervous.” Jinsoul laughs before scooting down to face Sooyoung, the blonde gives her a deep kiss full of love. Sooyoung is distracted by it and doesn’t realize that her hand is being guided to the honey pot.

When her fingers feel around she gasps and takes the lead and finally slips in between Jinsoul’s lower lips, cursing when she feels how wet. “Fuck Jinsoul.” The girl doesn’t make a loud noise, she’s biting her lips so hard that Sooyoung can see the blood. Leaning back in she makes Jinsoul kissing her, tasting the metallic as she sucks on Jinsoul’s bottom lip. Her fingers go to explore and Jinsoul freely moans.

Sooyoung’s fingers continue to get soaked and she wasn’t even inside yet. It’s hard to find Jinsoul’s sweet spot through the slipperiness and it becomes even more so when Jinsoul arches and rolls her hips up to gain the friction. Sooyoung moves from her lips to kiss at her chest, eventually finding a nipple to latch onto and suck. Jinsoul whines her name out and buries her fingers into her scalp, holding her in place. 

When Sooyoung bumps into something swollen she stops when she hears Jinsoul’s plead, “ _right there...right there Sooyoung._ ” Jinsoul was begging her to keep going but Sooyoung freezes for a moment, not touching it all the way. The blonde was falling apart piece by piece, but Sooyoung was sure to piece her back together. Swirling her tongue around Jinsoul’s nipple she finally presses her fingers roughly against the girl’s nip nop, Sooyoung has never felt something like this.

Jinsoul was already throbbing.

In the same motion of her tongue she rubs Jinsoul’s pussy slowly at first. The girl’s legs snap shut and her back arches, Sooyoung bites down hard on Jinsoul’s nipple receiving a throaty groan in response. She couldn’t believe how turned on Jinsoul, it made her own arousal ten fold.

Popping her lips off Sooyoung looks down and regrets it. The site of her hand buried inside made her dizzy resting her cheek on Jinsoul’s chest she moves along with it. Watching the girl’s hips twitch up and down at a bad rhythm. Saying a silent prayer she pushes her fingers lower and closes her eyes when she thrusts them in moaning with Jinsoul as she feels her wrap around her fingers. 

Jinsoul’s stomach tenses and so does Sooyoung’s heart. She pauses for only a second before pushing in deeper moaning at how tight Jinsoul was. Her fingers were being gripped on greedily and Jinsoul’s nails were clawing into her back. Her names slowly slips out of the girls name every minute or so, it's the only way Sooyoung even remembers it.

Sooyoung doesn’t understand how someone could be this hot and wet. This was the best pussy she’s ever had, and her fingers have been many places. Holding them deep inside she nuzzles her face into Jinsoul’s chest focused entirely of all the sensations. Still she wants to make sure Jinsoul is okay, “does it hurt?” Jinsoul is squirming around, her fingers still slightly moving inside. 

The blonde quietly mumbles it out, “a little bit but...” Sooyoung nods against her skin and starts to pump in and out slowly, just to stretch Jinsoul out. She hates how Jinsoul clenches around her every time, it’s too much of a distraction. She wanted to fuck her so hard, but she didn’t want it to hurt. For some reason she felt like Jinsoul hasn’t done a lot, sure girls were tight like this sometimes, but there was definitely some resistance Sooyoung’s never experienced.

When she pumps them in deep there’s another flood of wetness that makes Sooyoung suck in a breath. Pulling her fingers out entirely she already misses the feeling of Jinsoul’s tightness around them. How wet and hot it was inside. “I’ll make it feel good.” She makes sure her palm is on Jinsoul’s clit before pushing her fingers back inside. Sooyoung raises to hover over Jinsoul to watch all of her reactions.

How her mouth opens wide when Sooyoung pushes in deep pulling back out with a curl of her fingers. It’s such a slow pace it drives Jinsoul to insanity. Sooyoung’s palm barely pushes against her clit but it’s enough to make her legs numb and her tummy burn. Sooyoung bites her lip at Jinsoul’s noises, their so cute. Jinsoul’s body trembles below Sooyoung and she lets her eyes roam all over her body. 

Sooyoung can almost feel Jinsoul’s pleasure as she continues to fuck her slowly. The girls heels push into the carpet and her nails dig into Sooyoung’s flesh. Wanting to taste something Sooyoung starts to lick all around her neck, kissing her way up to her ear and licking around the shell. “You like it like this?” Jinsoul tries to pull away from her because it’s too much but Sooyoung wants to feel everything, “is this the way you want me to fuck you?” Sooyoung groans right against her face before biting her cheek.

Her other hand kept Jinsoul’s back arched while the other picked up its speed. Sooyoung started to pump her fingers in more aggressively. Causing Jinsoul’s wetness to become audible, her palm started to press directly against the girl’s clit making her lose her breath. “ _Sooyoung, harder, don’t stop...god please don’t stop_.” Kissing the side of Jinsoul’s face she can feel the orgasm coming from how much tighter Jinsoul is getting. 

She starts to keep her fingers deep while rubbing harder against the most sensitive area. Sooyoung can still feel the throb against her hand and she shallowly fucks Jinsoul to keep the pressure against her clit. Jinsoul’s eyes close and her teeth grit along with Sooyoung’s who was trying to keep her pace up.

Sooyoung makes her cum quickly after that…and hard. They both moan out when Jinsoul clenches around Sooyoung’s fingers, basically trapping her inside. Sooyoung sighs when she can feel the swollen nub against her palm twitch. Jinsoul is oddly quiet for a minute until a high pitched noise comes out of her mouth and her legs shake as she comes back down from the clouds. 

Jinsoul’s eyes open widely as she catches her breath. Relief flows out of both of their bodies. Sooyoung felt like she was floating in thin air, Jinsoul was so much more than the fantasies she created. It was so _so_ good to finally please her the way she wanted. What felt good to Jinsoul also was good to Sooyoung.

The blonde’s eyes are glossy and her face is shiny from the sweat and blush. Sooyoung glances down at her body, noticing all the marks she left on Jinsoul. Her body was painted by her lips now and Sooyoung couldn’t help but let her ego raise. “Hi,” Jinsoul’s eyes close at the sound of her voice and a small smile graced her features.

“Hi Sooyoung.” Her fingers were still inside of Jinsoul, the girl was still clenching around her. Pulling out slowly she sucks in some air, Jinsoul really did a number on the carpet probably. But Sooyoung thought it was just something to tell her she did a good job. Brining the soaked fingers to her lips Jinsoul makes eye contact with her. Sooyoung sucks on them greedily and licking her lips after to fully appreciate the taste. 

Sooyoung flips over top of Jinsoul and kisses on her nose. Her heart feels heavy, there was such a tension between them. Now finally solving it Sooyoung felt even closer to Jinsoul. She wanted her so bad it wasn’t allowing her to think straight. It’s like they sealed their love, now it had nowhere to go except to be passed in between them. 

Kissing all over Jinsoul’s face the girl mumbled something about being sleepy. Sooyoung would slap her awake if she had too, they still had so much more to do. Sooyoung moves her kisses to her tummy, Jinsoul smelled so sweet and she really couldn’t believe she was falling even harder for the girl. She was already so deeply in love. Sooyoung is about to head lower until Jinsoul tugs on her hair. A moan slips out her mouth and the blonde raises up, along with raising a brow.

“You like that?” Jinsoul pulls on it again and Sooyoung winces but sighs out pleased. She didn’t give Jinsoul an answer, only a seductive look. The air from before was filled with desperation, now that it was gone, Sooyoung could sense how much desire was there. The way they moved with each other was erotic. It had her tummy twisting into knots.

Ignoring Jinsoul’s mischievous lip bite, Sooyoung dives lower and tries to start eating up her favorite meal. But she’s stopped with a not so pleasing tug on her hair, “nope, it’s your turn.” Jinsoul is trying to man-handle her but she’s not having it. While Sooyoung huffs in frustration Jinsoul giggles as they wrestle around. The blonde’s strength was outmatched and she gets Sooyoung on the bottom, only on her tummy.

With her face shoved into the carpet Jinsoul is on top of her, the girl is placing kisses down her spine until biting at her ass cheek. Gripping onto the carpet floor, she tries not to make any noise but it’s really hard when Jinsoul is grabbing her like that. Sooyoung curls her toes up as Jinsoul’s fingers do the same to her ass. This shouldn’t be turning her on as much as it was. 

The painful ache that had been forgotten for the attention to Jinsoul’s had returned and Sooyoung realized how much she needed Jinsoul. The girl pats on her hips making her poke her butt up subconsciously. Jinsoul seems to like it as she groans out, grabbing at it more roughly than before. “Sooyoung you’re so cute.” Her voice is deeper but smoother than before. It’s dangerous to Sooyoung’s health as Jinsoul draws out her name. She’s not the one to beg with words, so she tries to show Jinsoul with her body, how much she needed to feel her inside now. How badly she wanted to get fucked.

Sooyoung’s never going to admit it, but she liked bottoming just as much as she liked to be the one to make someone cum. With Jinsoul the desire was equal, but just the thought of the girl fucking her until she was begging for her to stop made her eye close and her body tremble. When she gets her ass slapped however that’s when her eyes open, turning her head she scolds the blonde who was having too much fun, “you’re pushing it Jinsoul…”

The girl quietly giggles, “I know you like it or you wouldn’t be so wet.” Sooyoung curses underneath her breath and shakes her head. Jinsoul was right, she could admit only to herself that when she felt the slight sting of pain the pleasure burned through her. Her insides were pulsing, she needed something inside to take this pressure away before it became even more unbearable. Jinsoul scoots back down her legs, the ones she was straddling right after she gives one of Sooyoung’s cheeks another small slap.

Sooyoung becomes impatient despite wanting to go slow earlier, “Jinsoul stop playing around I need- oooh…” She shuts her mouth when she feels Jinsoul’s lips on the back of her thighs, nipping and sucking at the flesh there. Sooyoung spreads her legs apart as Jinsoul starts to pull her panties down. Sooyoung covers her mouth to muffle out the moans she’s making when Jinsoul starts to bite her ass, leaving a painful mark their. Sooyoung’s completely fine with staying down here but apparently Jinsoul isn’t. 

Her face scrunched up in pain as Jinsoul pulls on her hair, “ow ow ow,” lifting herself up with her hands Jinsoul releases the tight grip and hugs Sooyoung around the waist.

“Hehe sorry,” The blonde’s voice is a bit babyish and it helps Sooyoung forgive her, right after she throws an elbow behind her to land it on Jinsoul’s side. The girl huffs behind her and pulls her into a kneel, Sooyoung leans into Jinsoul’s whose behind her and reaches to grab at the girl’s hair that was soaked with sweat. She twists it between her fingers as Jinsoul kisses the curve of her neck and shoulder. Sooyoung wasn’t sure if she’s met someone with softer lips, or ones that made her skin burn. 

Hands roam across her body, Sooyoung guides them to where she wants them, when Jinsoul glides past her nipple she falls even further into Jinsoul. Letting the girl have complete control over her body. Jinsoul drags her lips up to her ear making Sooyoung twist away, “how does it feel?” She can’t answer, her mind is focused on other things, like how Jinsoul’s hand is getting dangerously lower and the other one stays to play with one of her titties. 

Sooyoung was tightening all her tummy muscles, it made it a bit easier to bear. But Jinsoul’s voice made everything more difficult to handle, “can I touch you?” Sooyoung doesn’t answer, she only takes one of her hands and brings Jinsoul’s fingers to where they both wanted them. 

When Jinsoul slips inside Sooyoung falls forward, “I don’t know what I’m doing.” Jinsoul admits with a scared voice and Sooyoung would laugh if it were true, but Jinsoul’s fingers were pressed right against her skittle. The blonde seems to notice that she is doing something right, “Sooyoung is it good?” She only moans and nods her head. Keeping the hand there with her own. Jinsoul starts to draw sloppy circles into her, Sooyoung wouldn’t have pleasure in it if she weren’t so turned on. She’s sure if this was someone else she’d slap them silly and tell them to get out. But it was Jinsoul, so the inexperience was still better than the experienced. 

Jinsoul’s lays against her back and rests her face against her shoulder as she moans with Sooyoung. She doesn’t think she’s ever been this wet. Looking down she almost cums alone from seeing Jinsoul’s fingers working into her. Many nights she’s had this same image in her head, but now that she could put the sensations to them… 

“ _Ah Jinsoul,”_ the girl does something, she presses against her nip nop a little too hard. Sooyoung holds her mouth open, it’s so close, she could feel it all they way down in her toes. The throb had disappeared, now all that was left was the pressure and indescribable feeling right in her core that was too...too good. 

With a hand flat on her tummy and her eyes crossing, Sooyoung gets the relief she hasn’t had for weeks on end. Jinsoul keeps going however, because she doesn’t know that Sooyoung is kinda tweaking out in the moment. The constant motion makes the orgasm even better as she bites her lip until blood spills from them. But when Jinsoul keeps rubbing in that rough manner the sensitivity becomes painful.

Reaching down she pulls the hand away from her receiving a whine in response from behind. Sooyoung quickly turns around and regrets it because her lips are jelly like but Jinsoul catches her. The blonde is smiling all sweetly at her and that’s when Sooyoung realizes how light headed she is from that orgasm and that it was still kinda happening. She grabs Jinsoul’s throat and the girl’s smile drops and her face turns red. “Open your mouth.” Sooyoung’s eyes were barely open, staring into Jinsoul’s cat-like ones.

The girl does so, hesitantly, Sooyoung only wanted to kiss her. Jinsoul groans at the kiss, Sooyoung does so too, liking how Jinsoul’s tongue rubs against hers. She wonders how good the girl is at giving head. Jinsoul’s hands shake against her hips as Sooyoung straddles the girl while still maintaining the kiss and the grip on her throat. Breaking their lips a trail of saliva stretches between them, “what are you waiting for Jinsoul? You not gonna fuck me?” Sooyoung smiles at the darkness swirling behind the blonde’s eyes.

She doesn’t even make a noise when Jinsoul pushes her way inside roughly. The blonde’s jaw drops but Sooyoung closes it back with her hand and starts to roll her hips. Jinsoul was filling her up nicely, but the last orgasm had done her in, now she was just teasing Jinsoul. Sooyoung bites her lip before whining out, “ _Oh Jinsoul baby it feels so good…_ ” Tightening her tummy and grinding her hips slowly into Jinsoul’s lap she watches as the girl loses her resolve. Sooyoung moves her hands to tangle them up in golden blonde hair and gazes down with her, where she was riding Jinsoul’s fingers.

Jinsoul takes a quick breath, “you’re so tight.” Sooyoung smiles and moans loudly for Jinsoul. The girl’s hand rests on her back and her eyes can’t stare away from down below. “How are you so warm a-and-,” Jinsoul can’t even complete her sentences and it drives Sooyoung crazy. She loved that she had such an affect on Jinsoul. 

Pulling the girl’s face to her own she whispers against her lips, “ _you’re the one making me so wet baby girl.”_ Sooyoung laughs when Jinsoul makes a funny noise coming from the back of her throat. Jinsoul starts to kiss her all over as Sooyoung tries to build her momentum up, it’s not very hard, with the way Jinsoul’s fingers are curled deep inside her and her palm against her bean thingy. 

When Jinsoul starts to bite and tug on her nipples Sooyoung pulls the girl’s face closer and rides her a bit harder. She can feel the pressure coming back, and that slow ache and throb in her pussy. Sooyoung was having way too much fun she thinks. But Jinsoul was having even more fun than her by the way she was whimpering every time Sooyoung clenched around her fingers. 

Sooyoung was determined to make Jinsoul forget about everyone she’s been with, that she’ll never want anyone else but her. Sooyoung didn’t even have to try. Even before this she knew Jinsoul was the one for her. But now she wanted to make sure she was the one for Jinsoul. 

Throwing her head back she can sense she’s getting close she slows down the grind of her hips and begs Jinsoul with her moans to start moving her fingers. Jinsoul leaves a hickie on her shoulder and starts to pump her fingers up and down, resting her cheek on Sooyoung’s chest she focuses on the beat of her heart and the feeling of Sooyoung’s pussy wrapped around her like that. Jinsoul has to bite her lips every time Sooyoung moans or she’s gonna lose the rhythm.

Sooyoung claws into Jinsoul’s scalp as she’s pushed higher and higher, until she’s suddenly screaming, “stop...stop!” Jinsoul frantically removes her fingers at Sooyoung’s screaming and holds the girl close. Sooyoung is breathing heavily and almost suffocates Jinsoul since she was holding her right against her chest. Nodding to herself Sooyoung lets herself sink with relief, she didn’t want to cum again...not yet. 

Jinsoul on the other hand is pouting when Sooyoung starts to raise up, “wait where are you going? What’s wrong?” Maybe it was painful now, not being able to cum, but later it would be so worth it. Sooyoung ignores Jinsoul blabbering and lifts her in the air bridal style. The blonde squeaks at first at the sudden movement but starts to hit Sooyoung in the chest, “hello? We were in the middle of something!” Sooyoung only giggles as she escorts her to the bed and tosses Jinsoul onto it.

“Shut up.”

Jinsoul closes her mouth in surprise at Sooyoung serious tone. Pinning Jinsoul against the mattress Sooyoung feels like they’ve been here before. Something takes over her as she presses down on Jinsoul, speeding up the pace from before. It doesn’t take long for Jinsoul to forget about before as she sinks into the sheet letting Sooyoung trap her underneath her body. 

She wastes little time from kissing on Jinsoul’s lips going straight to her tummy. Jinsoul arches into her open mouth kisses and scratches at her scalp out of desperation. Sooyoung swirls her tongue around Jinsoul’s skin just to give her a tease of what’s to come, “who this pussy belong to?” Jinsoul raises up her mouth open in pleasure but her brows knitted in confusion. 

“W-What?”

Sooyoung freezes and rests her chin on her tummy, “um...it’s nothing.” Jinsoul tilts her head even more, Sooyoung bites down on Jinsoul’s hip as the blonde thinks about what she just said. Sooyoung is a bit embarrassed as she spreads Jinsoul’s legs and settles in between them. Looking up she’s surprised to see Jinsoul up and resting on her elbows with a funny expression.

“Sooyoung I’m scared…” Clicking her tongue she shakes her head and starts to bite hard on the girls inner thighs. There’s soft moans above her and they almost melt her. Relaxing into it she gets her feel of Jinsoul’s thighs that were sweet. When she gets closer to her prize a hand presses against her forehead to stop her, “I-I told you…” Blinking at Jinsoul she gets impatient, she just wanted to feel it in her mouth. But the girl was holding her back.

Jinsoul even covers it up, “what if I taste weird?” 

Sooyoung narrows her eyes and shakes the hand off her head, “Jinsoul stop tripping just let me…” The girl whines when Sooyoung forces her hands away, she just lays back and closes her eyes. Jinsoul wasn’t for sure why she was so scared. Being fingered was a bit different, Sooyoung’s mouth was about to be on her. She doesn’t know what to expect. Closing her eyes she feels Sooyoung’s tongue inch closer to her core. 

Jinsoul takes one look down and thinks she might pass out, “I want you to cum in my mouth, you think you can do that?” Jinsoul doesn’t know how to answer such a question. But when she feels Sooyoung’s tongue inside her she chokes on air. It’s so much different than before. Jinsoul doesn’t know where to hold on or even how to stay still. She’s being teased while pleasured at the same time and her legs began to shake when she feels those same lips that she loves kissing so much suck on her just right. 

Closing her eyes she shoves her head down, _how the fuck_ , it feels so damn good and she doesn’t know if wants it to end or go on forever. It’s painful in a way that’s satisfying and her whole body has this cold burn. She can’t even speak, trying to tell Sooyoung to slow down just one moment so she doesn’t buss so quick. But her throat closes up and the only thing that comes out is short breaths. The faster it approaches the more she raises up since if she would lay down she might break in half.

Jinsoul wants to pull away from how sensitive she is, but her orgasm is so close. So she endures and her eyes start to water as she rips into her bed sheets. Sooyoung tugs her closer and fucks her deeper, somehow she’s even a better kisser now...Jinsoul didn’t know both of her lips could be used for something like that. Sooyoung’s move in a way she can’t comprehend the only way she can describe it as slow and intense. 

Lips wrap around her and Jinsoul half moans, half whimpers. Slamming her hand down on the mattress she tries to hold on as long as she can but she remembers Sooyoung’s request. The girl wanted her to cum in her mouth. When her ears start to ring she can hear Sooyoung’s voice in the back of her head.

_Who this pussy belong to?_

When the pain goes away however it’s too much to handle. Jinsoul’s stomach drops and it’s empty inside, as if there was nothing but fire and pleasure in there. All that would flow out when Sooyoung pushed her over the edge. Which was very _very_ close.

Holding her breath she falls back onto her mattress with a thump. Everything stops for just a second and then she can finally speak again. 

Sooyoung opens her eyes in the middle of sucking Jinsoul’s love nub when the girl screams out her name. Smiling she holds down the girls hips with her hands, her arms were wrapped around Jinsoul’s thighs. Pushing her tongue in, she moans at the taste waiting for Jinsoul to release all her frustration. 

After a few minutes Jinsoul regains conscious, her body feels lighter and her chest is filled with bubbles. Her urge to smile is too hard to fight as she finally breathes again. Looking down she sees Sooyoung licking and sucking on her lips. Jinsoul must have missed something because she was pretty sure Sooyoung was face down in her...you know. 

In truth Jinsoul blacked out for a moment and Sooyoung used the opportunity to lick up all the wetness that had doubled when Jinsoul had came. Sooyoung knew she was good at giving head but Jinsoul’s reaction made her ego inflate ten times more. 

Jinsoul is still trying to piece things together and relax into this new feeling. She just wanted to hold Sooyoung close. This girl was something else. 

Sooyoung was about to go straight back in but Jinsoul quickly pulls her hair making her groan out. She couldn’t even believe Sooyoung was real, of all these years of fantasizing she doesn’t think they even came close to the real thing. No, whatever just happened was magical to Jinsoul. She can’t even began to think about how good it felt. 

The girl between her thighs was staring at her like she was crazy, she’s been driven crazy in the past few years. She’s had to stay away from this...from everything she’s ever wanted. Anyone would go crazy from being kept away from the one thing that was so close to them.

Sooyoung seems to notice her thoughts and kisses her way up Jinsoul’s body. The blonde cradles her face when she finally makes it, “you don’t feel real, this has to be a dream.” Sooyoung smiles because she feels the same. But at the same time doesn’t feel that way at all. This is more than what she’s dreamed of. 

She has a plan however, she still has hours of energy left in her. Hours of learning Jinsoul’s body ahead of her, there was only one thing to say. _Let me show you how real it is._ Sooyoung leans down to give Jinsoul a small kiss.

They had all day, the rest of this week, the rest of this year. Maybe even forever. To make this as real as possible. But this feeling had always been real. Jinsoul was her dream come true. 

Her very own wish on a star. 

~~~~

nobody look at me...cut the cameras...deadass

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	22. Love Letter

Thankful for the soft snores that fill her bedroom’s silence, Jinsoul keeps massaging her hands into Sooyoung’s scalp. While she had lost count at how many times they went, Jinsoul still couldn’t find sleep even if she was exhausted. Sooyoung on the other hand had passed out on top of her, now drooling on her chest. 

Jinsoul was still buzzing from the hours that she and Sooyoung…Well Jinsoul’s never experience something that pleasurable. Her insides twist every time her mind goes back to this morning that she just spent screaming Sooyoung’s name out. She was running on five hours of sleep from the past three days. But her eyes were wide open and her brain kept swirling at all the positive and negative thoughts.

The positive being that she was laid up with Sooyoung. 

The negative being that she was still engaged. 

Positive was winning over negative by a long shot, Jinsoul’s chest was filled with butterlfies as she kept cuddling against Sooyoung’s sticky but warm body. It was like her own personal heater. She doesn’t think she’ll ever move from this spot, she’ll just keep her and Sooyoung here forever. 

Jinsoul turns in the girl’s embrace and lets herself be held from behind. Sooyoung only makes a small noise before wrapping all away around Jinsoul soon going back to snoring. Jinsoul holds and squeezes onto Sooyoung’s hand that was protectively draped around her tummy, feeling all giddy how it fit in her own. 

This is how it was supposed to be, since a teenager she’s wanted Sooyoung to be hers.  _ It’s all she’s ever wanted. _ Although she didn’t think about being with Sooyoung in  _ this  _ way. Jinsoul squeezes her legs at the soreness, it’s already an erotic memory burned inside her mind. Jinsoul wants this…

She shouldn’t lie, she wanted this forever. 

It feels amazing, everything. From the nightmare she’s been living in, this feels like heaven. With Sooyoung’s body pressed tightly against her own, the evidence of a shared passion sticks to their skin, Jinsoul is warmer than normal. She thinks her heart finally started beating again. Jinsoul’s been cold for far too long without someone holding her. She’s been fighting for her picket fence and peace, a comfortable life with the one she loves. Why couldn’t it just begin already,  _ why couldn’t she live this life that she so badly wanted. _

Sighing out tiredly she starts to focus on the only noise in the room.

Some people would find the sound annoying, but Jinsoul finds a calm. Sooyoung’s heavy breaths are rhythmic and presses the girl’s chest against Jinsoul’s back every time. It’s a reminder, it’s a steady pace that won’t allow Jinsoul to steer into the path of her anxious thoughts. She’s reminded of Sooyoung’s expression when she first saw her, how relieved and happy she was.  _ How much Sooyoung cared about her.  _ It lets Jinsoul remember just where she is and that she doesn’t have to be afraid, she can relax in her lovers arms without a consequence. 

Holding Sooyoung’s hand that was wrapped tightly around her belly she whispers out, “I’m here.”  _ She’s really here _ . After so long of living in a fantasy, it finally comes true. She doesn’t have to pretend that she isn’t in love with Sooyoung anymore. Because she is, she has been for almost a decade. Within that decade, so many times has Jinsoul thought of how she’d confess to Sooyoung, she remembers having that crush when she was fourteen and it was the best feeling in the world.

Just thinking of the future she wanted with Sooyoung was bliss. 

Her heart would fall off time, Jinsoul would just write down all the things they would do together, being together. How their first date would be. How they’d both say  _ I love you  _ beyond intimacy. But then, those writings in her diary became how she’d get Sooyoung to love her again. How to ask for forgiveness. 

How to mend a broken heart.

Sooyoung was everything to Jinsoul, she was precious, even more so now since Jinsoul knew what it felt like losing her. 

In between frequent thoughts she hears Sooyoung’s belly growl. Jinsoul smiles with a playful huff, “my baby must be hungry.” Maybe cooking would help her clear her head. Being snuggled by Sooyoung naked was rocking her concentration like a boat on rough waters. She couldn’t afford to get sidetracked again. But when she tries to pull out of the embrace Sooyoung tugs on her fully wrapping her arms around her torso. Jinsoul feels the vibrations of a groan into her back. 

Sooyoung wasn’t letting go of her, she must feel the same about losing something precious. It makes Jinsoul dizzy just knowing that Sooyoung adored her the same. Jinsoul tries again and Sooyoung doesn’t budge, she had a death grip on her. The snoring has stopped and Jinsoul relaxes back into the body only to receive a happy hum. 

She waits patiently before slipping out of Sooyoung’s arms, Jinsoul shivers at the sudden chill, maybe she should have stayed. Jinsoul panics when Sooyoung starts to feel around for her, thinking quickly she grabs one of her pillows strewn on the floor during the previous morning hours, when there was too much...movement on the bed to keep even most of the sheets intact. With the pillow in Sooyoung arms, the girl smiles sleepily and snuggles into it. Jinsoul’s heart bursts into tiny butterflies and she can’t help but reach over to rub at Sooyoung’s head. 

After pushing some of Sooyoung’s black hair behind her ear she leans down to press a long kiss to her temple. 

When she’s putting some clothes on she glances in the mirror. Jinsoul can hardly recognize herself. She’s lost weight in her face and her body looks thinner than usual. There’s horrible dark circles under her eyes that puff out. But that’s not what really catches her attention, it’s the multiple bruises and bite marks. They’re painted all over her entire body. Biting her lip she winces at the soreness and how they were still swollen, her hair was thrown all over the place and she touches the darkness of her growing roots.

Jinsoul needed to get herself together.

And what better way to do that than with a cup of coffee and an abundance of breakfast food.

Tripping down her stairs she shivers at the chill, it must be because she hasn’t eaten in so long. Looking at the clock she gasps when she sees it’s already past noon. Jinsoul didn’t think they had went that  _ long _ . But then again she did lose count of how many times she was pushed over the edge. She still feels the aftershocks and well...a little too giddy. Bouncing on her feet she’s never felt this energetic, it might be slap happy but she’s been there before and then she just felt loopy. Right now she couldn’t stop smiling and wiggling around. 

Even if sex didn’t feel as great as people have told her, at one point Sooyoung was being too rough it was painful instead, it definitely left her  _ feeling _ great after.  _ No wonder people did it all the time. Jinsoul, in short, couldn’t wait to do it again, then again and again. Especially with Sooyoung...Jinsoul was bit embarrassed at how many times she wanted to do it from now on.  _

But even then, she didn’t want sex to be common between them for a while. For some reason she felt shallow enough for what happened this morning, she didn’t deserve it after what she’s done to Sooyoung. 

But she’ll make sure to be the best she can from now on. 

Playing the radio she instantly starts to smoke up the kitchen, something similar to euphoria running through her nerves. 

Upstairs fast asleep, Sooyoung’s can sense it’s not as warm as before. Slowly waking up, Sooyoung realizes it’s very cold, so cold she’s freezing. Opening her eyes she instantly groans from the bright lights, raising up it takes her a while to fully grasp where she is.

Minutes later Sooyoung clings the sheets to her body, flashbacks bombard her mind. She slept with Jinsoul,  _ she made... _ Sooyoung’s wanted this for a very long time, so why didn’t she feel good about it. Even if it was the best she’s ever had, so good she can still feel it down below. A smile doesn’t form on her face, it’s a mess. Her body has multiple marks and her back stings from the claw marks dug into it. 

But it doesn’t feel right.

Because Jinsoul is missing. Sooyoung was hugging up to a pillow, which in theory smelled like Jinsoul’s coconut lotion and was just as soft. But definitely not as warm. Sooyoung trembles and pulls the sheets tighter around her naked body.  _ Don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry maybe she’s just using the bathroom or something. _

Ten minutes later Jinsoul still doesn’t come.

_ It wasn’t right at all _ .

It wasn’t just a dream after all was it? Jinsoul didn’t say all those things in a distant fantasy right? If she did run away from this again,  _ what a nightmare.  _ Cradling her head between her hands she remembers the disappointment and self-consciousness she felt when she seen Jinsoul pulling out of her driveway that night a few years ago. When she had blacked out not remembering anything but waking up in Jung Jinsoul’s arms...she was so happy she pretended to be asleep to not scare the girl off.

But Jinsoul had gotten a call from her dad and scurried off without a word said about that night, the only clues where from her sister Hyunjin who had said Jinsoul had carried her up, cleaned and in warm clothes then had gotten in the bed with her. Sooyoung thought it was strange, but she couldn’t do anything because Jinsoul had ran away and made it damn near impossible to talk to her.

Sooyoung wouldn’t let her run away this time. Throwing on some of Jinsoul’s clothes that she finds she starts to rush down the stairs. When she hits the bottom, a pleasant smell roams around. Sneaking onto the floor she peaks past the walls, Sooyoung doesn’t quite know how to describe the relief she feels flood through her body when she sees Jinsoul battling the stove, something was burning definitely.

It could be the eggs, but Sooyoung wouldn’t deny if someone said if it was her heart 

Then it all hits Sooyoung and it finally feels right. Those long hours this morning don’t make her head throb. Jinsoul was still here, so her confidence and satisfaction rockets. She didn’t run away. Sooyoung doesn’t feel that weird tension either, it’s comfortable. Like it should be, she’s not afraid of Jinsoul’s reaction when she sees her because she knows the truth now. They shared a love that had been broken, by what? Well Sooyoung doesn’t really know that yet. 

This morning feels so much more significant now, Sooyoung knew it wasn’t a mistake. It was a miracle on her part, but waking up without Jinsoul had her second guessing. _ Like she had messed it up again.  _ Somehow this makes her think she won’t ever have to second guess herself. Maybe things will be different.

The floor creaks when she takes another step, Jinsoul turns around fluidly with a bright smile on her face, a contrast to the sullen look that Sooyoung had met early this morning. “Hi my-“ Jinsoul cuts herself off and Sooyoung gets confused at the cutely scrunched eyebrows now knitted down. “Sooyoung what...I.” Jinsoul seems to not be able to get it out and sits down the pan she was shaking to wobble over towards her. Sooyoung feels that warmth she was missing when Jinsoul cradles her face gently, as if she was broken.

“Why are you crying?” Sooyoung swallows, she didn’t know she was, so she didn’t know why either. The affection in Jinsoul’s eyes are suffocating but relaxing at the same time. She reaches out to grab Jinsoul’s shirt, maybe it was the lack of sleep making her so delirious, but she could also blame how pretty Jinsoul looked. How she was looking at her like that. The blonde leans forward to plant butterfly like kisses on her soaked cheeks. Sooyoung doesn’t know why she’s crying. 

_ ~  _

_ Jinsoul is crouched below her, they just got done with a game. Sooyoung was a starter, the best player on the team and only a freshman, she just turned 14 this summer.  _

_ They lost, their coach wasn’t happy. _

_ Sooyoung was yelled at more than the other girls on the team. Even the seniors, her rode her hard in and out. Every lost was her fault, every mistake was hers to claim. Sooyoung hated being called worthless, that she’ll never amount to nothing. That she’s not good enough to go far. She had high expectations of her and she knew that. Sooyoung had to get better. She had to work hard enough so she’ll be the player her coach wants, her team wants. _

_ “Don’t cry Sooyoung.” She’s pulled out of the whirlwind of negative emotions. Sooyoung didn’t believe in herself. She felt guilty of not being enough. Sooyoung tells herself she hadn't trained hard like the other girls despite the bruises swelling on her elbows and the exhaustion pulling the air out of her lungs.  _

_ ‘You’re nothing Ha! Why the hell do I play you anyways when you can’t do not one fucking thing right!’  _

_ Her coach’s words ring through her ears along with the crack of the clipboard breaking over his knee.  _

_ But Jinsoul’s words brought her back to reality, “don’t cry.” Her best friend has a gently hold on her knees and it raises up to her face. The bubbling anxiety and fear starts to fade ever so slowly as she stares into Jinsoul’s soft eyes. Her poor thoughts of herself disappear. “You did so good, you’re amazing.” Sooyoung used to think highly of herself, she had heavy shoulders from the self-esteem she carried. _

_ But now, with her coach calling her worthless, kids in school saying she’s a loser, Jinsoul’s mom calling her disgusting. _

_ Sooyoung is starting to hate herself along with them. _

_ What hurts the most though is when those girls say she doesn’t deserve Jinsoul. That they’re only friends because Jinsoul’s too nice to drop her, that she’s sticking around out of pity.  _

_ Jinsoul has been the only one that’s made her feel good about herself. She’s the only one that makes her believe in her abilities, her comfort is Sooyoung’s rock that keeps her leveled.  _

_ “You played your hardest Sooyoung, you did everything you can.” Jinsoul has a positive reaction to everything negative that’s said to her. To her coach Jinsoul said that she was everything, to those girls Jinsoul said she’s the greatest person there, Jinsoul doesn’t even acknowledge her mom, and instead praises Sooyoung’s bravery of being who she was.  _

_ Jinsoul leaves sweet kisses on her face, on her chin, on her cheeks, the sides of her lips. “Don’t let them break you...I love you too much to ever lose a piece if you were.” Sooyoung holds onto Jinsoul as if she was falling into a pit of darkness, the girl was the only one keeping her from slipping off the edge. Just like that nothing else matters when she’s with Jinsoul, she’s that person she wants to be, not the person people think she is. But Sooyoung learned the hard way that rocks don’t always stay put. _

_ She was weak and sensitive then. _

_ Because it was Jinsoul who finally broke her. _

_ The funny thing is. _

_ She never lost the pieces. _

_ ~ _

Tears are swiped away, just like they were then. Sooyoung feels vulnerable, “I thought you left again.” 

Jinsoul instantly pulls away, guilt ridden on her face. She’s not always been hot and cold with Sooyoung, but when she has it’s left a hole in the heart for the older girl. 

“I didn’t, I won’t leave okay?” It’s sincere, but even the honesty in Jinsoul’s eyes doesn’t make Sooyoung completely convinced.

Jinsoul’s never been good with words so she doesn’t say much else. She just leaves a warm kiss on Sooyoung’s forehead. 

Sooyoung wipes her own tears after Jinsoul turns to the stove again. 

Stuck in place she’s not sure what to say, if she should say anything at all. Should they talk about it? Or should Sooyoung not even bother.

Instead she leans against the counter and brings up an old memory, the one she was just reminded off. “You remember coach Siwon.” That was their highschool coach that had been fired their sophomore year. He was borderline abusive, verbally and emotionally.

Sooyoung doesn’t have to look at Jinsoul for her answer, “did you have something to do with him being removed from the school.” Jinsoul always hated him, even if she was never in his line of fire. Sooyoung had a hunch that it was Jinsoul who had been the one, even if they weren’t friends anymore, everyone that had done Sooyoung wrong seemed to disappear or never bother her again.

“He wasn’t fit to be a coach.”

Sooyoung smiles, “he won multiple championships.”

Jinsoul scoffs before glancing at her, “I didn’t like the way he spoke to you nor anyone else.”

It confuses her so much, how Jinsoul acted as if she hated her, but still protected her from ones who hurt her. “So was it you or not?”

The blonde shakes her head.

Just a few seconds later she confesses, Jinsoul didn’t feel like lying anymore. “What was I supposed to do? Let him talk to you like that?” Sooyoung tightens her grip on the counter.

“Sometimes you said things like that too, what difference does it make.” Jinsoul slips and half the eggs spill onto the stove. Sooyoung doesn’t move to help, to focused on pulling the truth from Jinsoul like teeth and nails. If she had to bring these things up.

Sooyoung doesn’t take her eyes off Jinsoul, afraid she’ll miss something. “I didn’t mean it Sooyoung, I took my frustration out on you and said the things that was expected from me.” 

Jinsoul turns the stove off too nervous to continue cooking. Sooyoung slips in to finish for her, “I don’t know what you’re trying to say.” What did that mean? Jinsoul said the things that were expected of her. Sooyoung tries to wrap her head around it. 

On the other hand Jinsoul remembers being told over and over again of how she should feel about Sooyoung.

Jinsoul forces herself to lean into Sooyoung’s back, she felt like she didn’t deserve this. “I hated myself for what I said to you. Because I promised that I would never let it get to me.” Sooyoung stops shaking the pan to sit it down. She tries to turn but Jinsoul doesn’t allow her, the girl clings to her shirt.

Her face buried between her shoulder blades. “I was supposed to hate you Sooyoung but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t.” 

“Who.”

Jinsoul sighs deeply and exhausted, “who do you think.”

Sooyoung stares at the grease in the pan, “what did she tell you do Jinsoul.” 

Hands loosen on the fabric and they inch around her waist. Sooyoung feels the chills run up her spine. There was an unswallowable lump in her throat. “Let’s not talk about this right now okay?” 

Closing her eyes she sighs, Sooyoung becomes frustrated. 

Breakfast between them is silent, Jinsoul keeps smiling at her but her eyes hold tears. Sooyoung wonders if she’s happy after all, something was clearly bothering her. 

Taking a bite of eggs Sooyoung asks, “where have you been?” Jinsoul hasn’t ate much at all, still picking at her food.

“Nowhere in particular, I’ve just been driving.” 

“Do you know how worried I was about you, how worried everyone was?” It comes out more snappy than Sooyoung intended. But she was getting angry at Jinsoul’s neglect. How she never confronting anything. Jinsoul remains quiet, Sooyoung wishes she could get something. But she gets nothing, so she blankets the tension with empty words. “I have to go to practice later. What do you want me to tell Coach V.” 

Jinsoul doesn’t dare to look at her, noticing the strain in her voice. “Tell her I’ve been sick, I’ll come back tomorrow.” Sooyoung nods, it’s the first steady thing Jinsoul has said all morning. The tension builds again, unlike this morning when there was none. Because Jinsoul was still hiding things. 

“Practice isn’t until tonight, but if you want I can leave.”

“No.”

Sooyoung’s surprised at how quickly Jinsoul is to reject the offer. The blonde finally looks at her, “no, I want you to stay as long as you like.” Jinsoul has a desperate rasp to her voice that Sooyoung simply nods to.

She sits still as Jinsoul starts to clean up around them, “Is Chaewon okay?” 

Sooyoung hums at Jinsoul’s question, she wasn’t for sure where the little blonde was at. Probably still looking for her big sister that was here. “Are you tired?” Sooyoung could use more sleep, so she nods. “You can go sleep upstairs.” So cold and distant. She wonders if she was the one ruining the light mood they had an hour ago. 

Fixing Jinsoul’s bed that was a mess, she crawls under the warm sheets. Sooyoung hugs the pillow from earlier, it distracts her from the ice Jinsoul was throwing at her.

She thinks of what Jinsoul said earlier. Sooyoung would be stupid to think of anyone different than Mrs. Jung. The woman has never liked her, but she never would have thought she would be the reason for Jinsoul to push her away. The woman was never around. 

The door suddenly creaks open, but Sooyoung doesn’t move. She gets goosebumps up her arm as she hears Jinsoul tip tiptoeing towards her. The blonde then slips into the sheets behind her and the arms consume her in a warm hold. Sooyoung instantly lets go of the pillow, there was something softer pressing against her back.

Jinsoul leaves feather light kisses around her neck and pulls down the collar of her shirt to kiss at the skin there, Sooyoung can’t help but shiver. Jinsoul pushes down on her shoulder, laying her flat on the mattress. Her eyes are still glossy, “I don’t think you know how much I love you.” Sooyoung knots her brows at the sentence but nevertheless let’s her heart flutter. 

She’s then pulled into a passionate kiss that steals her breath. Her lips seem to melt into Jinsoul’s. It’s slow and gentle, making her sling her arms around Jinsoul’s neck as the blonde’s hand slips underneath her shirt to tickle at the skin on her tummy. 

It’s broken too soon. 

Sooyoung doesn’t want to let go of Jinsoul just yet. 

So she doesn’t, she holds her there, not letting Jinsoul have any chance to pull away. The hand lays flat on her tummy and warm breath tickles her neck. “I’m sorry, for earlier.” Sooyoung doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t have to say anything because it’s only a second before Jinsoul speaks again.“How much do you want to know?” The words crawl from the curve of her neck to her ear. Sooyoung pulls down harder, leaving no room for Jinsoul to even breath.

“Everything.”

Sooyoung can’t believe the whine she lets out when Jinsoul manages to slip away in seconds. Blinking at the ceiling she turns to watch the blonde waddle around her room, her eyes narrowing when a small key dangles in Jinsoul’s hand. 

The girl crouches at the little cabinet beneath her desk, where it had been locked before. The key slips in effortlessly and the door opens, turning on her belly Sooyoung leans off of the bed to look closer. Jinsoul starts to pull them out in bunches. There’s a few small books, a heaping amount of envelopes, and pictures. Sooyoung feels the heat rise to her face when she notices the photographs are of them.

“I would be lying if I said I wasn’t obsessed with you.” Jinsoul mumbles nonchalantly. The blonde holds up one picture and breaks into a wide smile, her eyes scrunch up cutely and she brings the photo to her chest, like she wanted it attached to her heart.

The photo is passed off to Sooyoung, her mouth drops the slightest bit. It’s a picture of them, ripped in the middle but taped back together. Sooyoung was holding a jar of fireflies and Jinsoul was kissing the side of her mouth. “We looked like we were dating didn't we.” Sooyoung peaks behind the photo, Jinsoul acted like she was telling her biggest secret. “I really wanted to date you, I had the biggest crush on you when I was fourteen, actually I still do but I think it’s immature to call it a crush.” Jinsoul rambles as she places more pictures onto the floor. They’re all pictures of them. With the inclusion of their sisters sometimes. 

“Sooyoung, I thought of you as my girlfriend back then. It was so embarrassing, how bad I had it for you. Just ask Chaewon, everyday i'd come home from school and talk about you. I think she wanted to choke me sometimes.” Jinsoul shyly admits and rocks back and forth on the carpet. She remembers being a teenager in love, how nice it felt. She wishes she could start all over again. “I thought about you all the time, how I couldn’t wait to see you again.” Jinsoul would stand by the buses everyday just to greet Sooyoung when she got off, she’d help the girl look presentable and give her a good morning hug and kiss. 

Jinsoul looks through the window and likes how sunny it’s gotten. “You was everything and more to me.” She raises up to open it, closing her eyes at the cool summer breeze flowing in. “I liked calling you my baby to everyone and people would get so freaked out and say  _ ah isn’t that weird? _ ” Jinsoul mocked their voices with a wiggle of her finger before shaking her head, “I didn’t think it was weird at all, because I liked you. I wanted to treat you how I felt about you.” 

Sooyoung is flipping through the photos, how she had none of these. “In my heart we were meant to be together, I belonged to you. I didn’t see my future with anyone else but you.” Jinsoul tells her softly, a faint whisper almost muffled by the noise of the breeze rockin into the window. “You were so cute back then I couldn’t stand it. You were perfect in my eyes and it was my mistake not denying that.” Sooyoung looks up at Jinsoul’s sad tone, the girl was gazing at her gently, with a small smile. “They asked me Sooyoung, if I was in love with you.” 

Jinsoul remembers all the girls and boys asking why she and Sooyoung were so weird together. Jinsoul would only smile and tell them they were dating, why would she lie about something she was so proud of. Jinsoul wanted to show Sooyoung off to the world, that this girl was hers. Wanted to hold her hand and praise her. Wanted to support her no matter what. 

“I was an idiot to say yes.”

She doesn’t understand, Sooyoung doesn’t remember this. Jinsoul was never in love with her. Jinsoul…Sooyoung almost tears the picture in her hands, how was she so oblivious to Jinsoul’s feelings towards her. 

Jinsoul then crouches in the floor and starts to hand Sooyoung her diaries and letters. She stops speaking for a while to let Sooyoung read through some of them. Jinsoul’s heart breaks a different way when Sooyoung chokes on a silent sob, she’s always been sensitive. Sooyoung wipes the tears away. Every letter, explicit details of Jinsoul’s feelings. Of what she loved about her, how she made her feel, how she wanted to spend their life together. Most about Sooyoung, teenage ramblings of something close to infatuation but innocent enough to call love, how life always treated Jinsoul kindly. 

Because Sooyoung was hers.

Love letters. Diaries filled with messy thoughts, pure and raw. Sooyoung’s felt like her head was going to split from how hard it was throbbing. Jinsoul then speaks up, “I wrote you love letters almost every night. I waited for your call every night. I went to bed thinking of you every night.” Sooyoung made her feel special. She felt true love. “It had to be you.” 

“You’re the one I think..no I know you are.” Jinsoul admits it, no one will ever compare to Sooyoung. She’s learned that through the years. It’s what got her to this moment. She’s never been able to get over Sooyoung. Her heart has never been on beat because of this girl, always going to fast. Because Sooyoung was living free in her mind. No rent paid because that’s where Jinsoul wanted her. “I even told asked your mom if I could marry you, then begged her not to tell you.” Jinsoul remembers how scared she was, but how happy it made her when Ms. Ha told her she’d give her the rings when they were older. She was only fourteen then and the woman was playing around, but it meant everything to Jinsoul.

She’s always been reaching for the stars.

It just so happens Sooyoung was one that fell straight into her hands. Jinsoul hated herself for almost losing her. 

Sooyoung was now on the pages where Jinsoul had a bunch of dates planned out. It almost made her sick with how cheesily romantic and corny they were. But still, Sooyoung was dying to go on them. She can’t stop reading Jinsoul’s words, so sweet, so stupidly sweet. Sooyoung didn’t think she was that great, but this Sooyoung in these letters must have been an angel. 

She can remember how Jinsoul treated her back then. How the girl would shower her with affection, gifts, attention. Everything that she ever wanted. Jinsoul was a kind and gentle, never once undermining her. Always sticking by her side, being genuine with her. Her love was fair, it was easy on the heart. Sooyoung can’t help but wish they could have had gotten together back then.

But instead they did the opposite.

If none of this had happened, Sooyoung wonders how amazing it could have been. How they would have unbroken hearts. But it’s not over, those years can be made up with time. Even if those years could have been sweet and full of love, they still had now and the rest of their lives.

The letters get scattered with her tears and Jinsoul scoots forward to hug her legs that are draped off the mattress. “I’m in love with you, more than ever. I was back then and now.” Jinsoul mumbles out, hating how Sooyoung is crying. She knows how it feels, having everything you wished for pulled away from you. “Maybe I wanted us to be the perfect pair, but not now. That’s just not us is it?” Sooyoung giggles at that, Jinsoul’s written out fantasies sounded straight out of a teen romance novel. 

“It doesn’t change the fact I want to show you the world, because you’re mine Sooyoung. You’re my whole world.” Sooyoung drops the letters and grabs Jinsoul’s face pulling her into a deep kiss. Sooyoung slips the floor so she can hug her as well. Quietly crying into the girl’s shoulder. She knows how Jinsoul really felt about her now, “I can’t hurt you anymore Sooyoung, I won’t. I should have never done it in the first place.”

Jinsoul cradles her in her arms, like she was fragile. “I promise I’ll treat you better, even better than back then. You’re special and you never deserved what I put you through.” Sooyoung is pushed back and Jinsoul looks at her determined, “I’ll treat you better.” 

Sooyoung nods and leans for another kiss. 

She couldn’t believe all these years, Jinsoul has felt the same. 

Sooyoung packs all of them up, the letters and pages of the diaries. She wanted to take them hold to read all of them over and over again. Now she was holding Jinsoul in her arms, not even daring to let her go, “All I wanted was to love you.” The blonde mumbles out onto her chest. Holding her close, their limbs tangled underneath the thin sheets. “You’re the one thing I’ve never regretted, but I’ve regretted everything I’ve done to you.” Sooyoung starts to understand it, what must have happened years ago, it kills her, how she could have handled it better. Things could have been different on both of their parts.

Kissing the top of her head she slips one of her hands beneath Jinsoul’s shirt, “so what now?” 

The blonde lets out a small laugh, “well what I’ve been told, I’m supposed to stay away from you, but damn am I tired of doing that..”

Sooyoung likes that Jinsoul isn’t such a doormat anymore but still it scares her. She still doesn’t know everything, “maybe we should keep it a secret.” Jinsoul whines and shakes her head, her nose rubbing the skin right above Sooyoung’s collar bone.

“You deserve more than that Sooyoung, you're not something I should hide. I don’t want to disrespect you like that. Treating you like a side hoe when you the wifey.” Sooyoung blushes, sometimes Jinsoul said the weirdest things. She turns red in the face and turns her face away when Jinsoul tries to kiss her, she can’t hide the smile on her face. 

The blonde nuzzles her face into hers whispering dreamy like, “you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to be with you like this.” It still hurts, because that’s all Sooyoung wanted too. So why couldn’t they? What was the catch, why did Jinsoul push her away for years, why did her best friend seem to want nothing to do with her. Why did they become estranged?

Jinsoul starts to doze off then, Sooyoung shakes her awake. “Why Jinsoul? We both wanted the same, what happened?” It seemed perfect in theory, so why didn’t it happen. Sooyoung was angry, how she was neglected, how  _ Jinsoul  _ was neglected as well. 

The blonde squeezes onto her waist, “one step at a time.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes but she has a feeling Jinsoul isn’t lying. “I’m so sleepy.” Jinsoul mumbles out and struggles to keep her eyes open, “wake me up before you leave.” 

Hours later, when the sun is starting to set and the orange glow creeps into the room, Sooyoung starts to stir. The whole time she had been staring at Jinsoul soundly sleeping. The light became a part of the intimacy they share. 

Shaking the blonde awake she gives her a messy kiss on the mouth, “I have to leave.” Jinsoul is hilarious when she’s half asleep, looking like a mad scientist that had gotten electrocuted. The blonde points towards her keys on the desk.

“Take it, i'll wait up for you.” 

Sooyoung frowns, she was planning on coming back tonight. She wanted to take the letters back home and read them alone. She wanted to have some space to think of all what was said. “I wanted to go home, is that okay?” Jinsoul blinks at her a second before smiling sweetly and nodding. 

Her hand is grabbed by a soft one and it’s squeezed as Jinsoul speaks to her, “yeah go ahead. Just let me know if your safe.” The blonde puckers her lips for a kiss and Sooyoung wouldn’t dare to decline something so addicting. Leaning down she leaves a long imprint on Jinsoul’s lips, hers tingle when she pulls away. Her whole body warm from something so innocent.

Jinsoul then tells her something that calms her, “take all the time you need Sooyoung, I’d wait forever for you. I know this must be a lot.” She doesn’t answer back, this was just another rough patch for them, but at least Sooyoung knew how Jinsoul felt. “I won’t hide from you anymore, I promised to treat you better.” 

With that Sooyoung is satisfied that she’ll get the answers, she felt like this fight wasn’t over. Whatever was keeping Jinsoul from her. 

She’d make sure to never let it happen again.

Twirling the keys in her hand she smiles. 

_ One step at a time. _

~~~~

This story will be finished, you have my word! I would never do y’all like that even if this is the worst thing ever...I’ll promise that! And lets see if I can do weekly updates now since I have it all lined out, but I cannot promise those hehe

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	23. Broken Clocks

Staring at the clock, Jinsoul forgets just how fast time flies. She’s been sitting here for god knows how long waiting on Sooyoung. She feels relief, how the one thing she’s always wanted to reveal has been surfaced. Jinsoul can’t remember how long she’s been concealing herself, masking all the anger she’s had trapped inside.

She created a whole new identity just to hide the old one. 

And what for? Jinsoul was scared back then, she was afraid of ruining Sooyoung just because she was stuck in love. Jinsoul was selfish. She couldn’t let go when it would have been for the better if she had moved on. Her love like most, had consequences. The most dangerous kind. Ones where her future was determined and where another was broken. 

Jinsoul has decided to fight. The only way she can is by taking the risks. She’s never done that before, always being persuaded by safety. Her mother was certain to live through her, since her marriage was nothing that she ever wanted. Jinsoul was supposed to marry Kwon, wealthy, sophisticated, powerful. Jinsoul didn’t see him that way, just someone who was lucky.

Climbing off her bed she starts to rip her room apart. She first gathers the things precious to her, that hold fond memories. The things Chaewon had made for her, photos of her and her friends, the letters to Sooyoung. She places them all into a pile. Once she’s done she glances over, disappointed but not surprised at how small the mixture of items was.

Physical reminders of how frustrating her life has been. Jinsoul felt like her life has never been smooth, there was always a ripple that she couldn't straighten out no matter how hard she tried. Those ripples became larger and larger, harder to ignore. All sticking to her mind, failures that begged to be fixed or resolved. But she couldn’t, Jinsoul’s never been that good at solving her own problems. 

But she’s had years of practice of avoiding them. How to navigate through her issues without making them worse. It just seemed like more had built on. Maybe she at least should try fixing them. She used to consider herself a capable person, she had herself figured out. But after so many curve balls, Jinsoul wasn’t for sure if her vision was as straight as she thought it was.

Pulling out things she forget she even had she makes another pile. Of all the stuff she was going to sell, what she didn’t need anymore. What she never wanted. Jinsoul thinks necessities were always boring. Her wants have always been what drove her. Never her needs, she already had what she needed, but it never made her happy. She’s never experienced losing the things she’s needed, she wonders if it’s as frightening as losing what she wanted. 

Taking a picture of each item she posts them on the internet for everyone to see. She hopes they’ll all be sold by next week. But Jinsoul knows better than to have that luck. Turning her room inside out she thinks about how she’s never really liked it that much.

She’s always liked Sooyoung’s better.

~~~~

Chaewon isn’t for sure what to think when she finds Jinsoul’s room empty. Only her bed and piles of stuff stacked around messily. Was she too late? “Oh this stupid bitch.” Stomping into the room she smacks into another body and clothes go flying everywhere since they were being carried by the person she bumped into. Chaewon blinks and finds almost a mirror image of herself across from her. Except it’s her sister, who she hasn’t seen in a week.

“You...” The emotions inside her chest contrast the actions that flow through her fists. Jinsoul doesn’t even try to protect herself from her baby sister’s aggravation, she only pulls her into a longer than necessary hug to prevent the swatting of hands. Chaewon shakes against her, like she has for all her life. “Idiot...you’re such an idiot.” Jinsoul doesn’t think she’ll ever love someone like Chaewon. 

Her sister clings to her, “don’t leave me here all alone again.” It breaks Jinsoul’s heart hearing that. All these years they’ve only had each other. Jinsoul hated her parents for what they’ve done. She didn’t consider the woman who tore them down her mother. And her father was never there to protect them. She didn’t hate him in a sense, she was more disappointed than anything. The one person in her life that she looked up to was absent. 

Jinsoul had to grow up fast in that absence, she had to take care of Chaewon, teach her how to be an adult as well. She had to give her a good childhood despite the torment they went through. Chaewon was strong because of her, she wasn’t affected by the abuse as much as she was because Jinsoul made sure she was okay. She always worried about her sister seeing it, she hated the fear in Chaewon’s eyes when her sister would see her bruised face, busted lip, the panic that ran through her chest. 

In those times Jinsoul comforted her. Telling her it would be okay when it wasn’t at all. Because Chaewon had to be okay. She couldn’t let this break Chaewon like it did her. Jinsoul would have left a long time ago, she would have run away if it wasn’t for her sister. So she took the emotional beat down from her mother just to make sure her sister would be alright. She had fought, screamed, cried to make it all come down on herself. 

“Are you okay?” Chaewon quietly asks and pulls back. Jinsoul flenches at the cold fingers on her face, but quickly covers them with her own. She liked the cold. It brought her back to reality, right now her head was hot from how much she was thinking. But seeing Chaewon, it brings her back down. It settles the thumping of her heart.

Nodding she slips the hands off her face and holds them in her own, “I’m sorry I ran away...I know you don’t like when I do this kinda stuff.” That was her promise to Chaewon, to never leave her side. These days they weren't around each other that much, but knowing her sister was out there meant something. But Jinsoul had disappeared without a trace and it left a hole in Chaewon’s heart.  _ What if Jinsoul finally left for good? _

“But I’m back, I’m not going anywhere.” Jinsoul tells her sincerely.

Chaewon looks around the room, it looked as if Jinsoul was packing. “You betta not be lying to me.” 

“Shush, I’m just getting rid of most this stuff, trying to make money.”

“For what?”

Jinsoul swallows harshly, “I have a plan.” It was a messy plan, but Jinsoul’s been sitting here for hours coming up with it. She knows because of the colors of her room, oranges and reds from the disappearing sun. Sooyoung should be done soon, but it’s untelling if she’ll return or not. Jinsoul said it was her decision. 

Chaewon starts to rummage through her stuff, seeing what all she’s letting go and keeping. “Hmm what is it this time?” Jinsoul cringes at her sisters words, her plans have not always been great. From her avoiding Sooyoung and getting out of an engagement she doesn’t want. There’s always trial and error. “Let me guess you’re gonna fake your own death by burning the house down.”

Jinsoul blinks, “ay that’s not too bad.”

“Bitch are you for real?” Chaewon snaps at her while playing with a slinky from Jinsoul’s childhood. 

“No no...I’m kidding, I’m just gonna get enough money saved up to give it to Ms. Ha. Maybe then get out of here.” Her sister searches for more details in her voice and expression but finds none. Jinsoul only seemed tired, too tired. “I wanna have a fresh start somewhere. Anywhere but here. I want to cut them off Chaewon.” 

Her sister turns towards her, an old photograph in her hand. It’s of them and their dad at the beach. “You know that won’t be easy Jinsoul, mom will get her little friends involved. She’s a psychopath. Don’t forget about Kwon either.” Jinsoul sighs and flops onto her back and stares at the ceiling, she was in this position earlier this morning. She blushes at the memory and remembers how much hotter the room was than it was now.

“Kwon will be dealt with, he’s smart but if I tell him the truth I think he’ll understand.” That’s the best case scenario, Kwon was alright for the most part. He left her alone when she wanted, only invading when he was craving attention. There was plenty of girls to give him that. But her mother however, “about her...she can rot in hell. She can’t keep me on lockdown forever.” Her mother was a very popular writer, movie deals, talk shows, dinner parties all that. Jinsoul could ruin her if she pulled the right strings and be able to escape her grasp. 

“The only thing she has on me...is that she can leave me with nothing or being locked down the rest of my life, but I’m working on that right now, I have been for a long time.” Jinsoul smiles and pushes herself up, Chaewon watches her with closed eyes as she grabs her laptop to start typing away. 

Jinsoul pulls up a page and points at it. “Fuck Jinsoul!” Chaewon yells out, squinting at the screen.

“It’s not enough, but it’s a start, I wish we had a way to break into their bank account.” Jinsoul knew her parents were loaded, but she didn’t know how much. She of course had loads of stuff, anything she asked for as long as she listened and did as she was told. “We’ll be cut off, I mean you already have been. So I have to have something to keep us up.” Chaewon was cut off when she was only 16, Jinsoul made sure to still take care of her. 

“How?” Chaewon asks, while leaning on her desk. Jinsoul’s had this boiling in her mind for years but things keep happening. The one thing that didn’t need to happen is for her to go to Japan, it’ll all be out of her control. The rest of her life will be somebody else’s. She won’t be the protagonist of her own story anymore, just some side piece to a man who she has to support. So she’s thought of everything, but she can’t figure what she’ll do if she’s forced to move and marry.

“I’ve been working hard...online tutoring and even gambling hehe.” Jinsoul giggles and thinks of the addiction she had about a year ago. “Also I have a friend in Hawaii that helped a lot.” Jinsoul looks up at her ceiling, she wonders if her advisor was doing okay, he saved her life essentially with his help. “I can’t get married Chaewon, or move to japan.” She mumbled to her sister. “So imma need your help.” 

The smaller blonde bounces over to the bed, “hmm with what? I can get you a lot of money, it might take a while but-“

“With Sooyoung.”

Her sister’s jaw drops, “wait? Really what with?”

“Well, apparently I’m supposed to move to Japan this August, maybe sooner if I’m caught with her.” Jinsoul admits, recalling the conversation with Haseul. 

“You’re gonna have to explain better.”

Jinsoul scratches her head, “we um, we’re like a thing now.”

“Spit it out damn Jinsoul!”

“I think we’re dating!”

Her sister raises a brow, “you think?”

Jinsoul blushes and zoned out for a moment, “I mean we had sex this morning.”

“YOU DID WHAT?!” Jinsoul covers Chaewon’s mouth, not being able to handle the yelling that her sister spews. Jinsoul waits until she’s finished to pull away. “I’m nosy. Tell me now.” Jinsoul shakes her head and pulls out her white board. Setting it up on the drawer and drawing a stick figure. 

“No you have to hear me out first.” Jinsoul scribbles out onto the board. Writing  _ plan Jinsoul  _ at the top. 

Chaewon snorts, “okay weirdo.”

Jinsoul continues to write, before starting to explain. “This is where I am at now.” The words she used to describe her place right now was trouble, “if I sit and do nothing I got to Japan, get married and never see you again.” Jinsoul writes the rest of it out. “I need this much money...so I can give it all to Ms. Ha and then keep about five k for myself.”

Chaewon glances at the board and gives Jinsoul a questionable look, “is this because our mom owns their house because of the medical bills from their dad being sick all that time.”

“Right, isn’t that evil? Dad was just gonna pay them himself but she asked for the title to their house instead. It’s not worth that much but that’s enough to help them get somewhere else if something does happen.” Jinsoul rambles and rolls the marker against her bottom lip. “Imma need until December, that’s when Sooyoung graduates.” 

Jinsoul writes that down on the board. “I need to find a way to dodge August, I need to convince Kwon. After I have it all ready I’m skipping the country, hopefully with Sooyoung once I tell her the plan.” 

“Oh shit...so you’re serious about this.” Chaewon asks her. Jinsoul thinks for a moment, she  _ was  _ serious about this. She wouldn’t stay away from here forever. But long enough to disappear. A year, that’s all she needed, a year away with Sooyoung. She just hopes Sooyoung agrees. 

“Yes, I can’t give up on my life like this.”

Her sister sighs sadly. Like she didn’t believe her. But Jinsoul didn’t care. She’s played defensive all her life, it was her turn to take a chance and play the game as well. Just as hard.

“I have to keep it all a secret, including my relationship with Sooyoung.” Jinsoul nods and draws a heart on the board before giggling. 

Chaewon swipes it away and pushes at Jinsoul, “it’s a plan alright, I hope it works sis.”

Jinsoul crouches down and lays her hands on Chaewon’s knees, “I’ll need your help, with the money and how I’m gonna sneak around with you know...if anyone knows I’m with her, the whole thing will be ruined.” 

Chaewon thinks for a moment, taking it all into consideration, “of course Jinsoul, I’d do anything to make you happy, even if it’s keeping your relationship with that beast a secret.” 

“Stop, she’s not a beast…she’s perfect.” The last part comes out as a whisper. Jinsoul gets awfully shy talking about Sooyoung and she blushes as she twists her feet. 

Her sister pushes her again, “ugh you’re so fucking weird! You’re not fourteen anymore! Stop acting like that!”

Jinsoul widens her eyes, “you’re right but I can’t help the way I feel about her.” Chaewon gags as Jinsoul goes to flop on her bed, “ah to be in love Chae!” 

It’s silent for a few moments before her sister asks the question that’s been itching her, “so y’all really fucked huh? Like all butt ass naked nasty shit.” 

“Yes, god Chae it was so fucking-“

“Not another word I’m already sick.” Chaewon didn’t want to hear about her best friend that felt like a big sister bumping uglies with her actual big sister. 

Jinsoul grabs onto her pillow and squeezes it. Closing her eyes and inhaling deeply, “it was amazing.” Jinsoul’s had years filled with fantasies but nothing compared to the real thing. Sooyoung was magical in every way and form. Jinsoul wishes she could have been hers since the beginning. 

“She did this one thing with her fingers-“

“ENOUGH!” 

“Made me black out deadass.”

“Jinsoul please stop.” 

She’s laughing at her sisters disgust and throws the pillow at her when she starts to gag, “come on Chae we used to do this all the time! You’d let me talk for hours, you’re the best little listener ever.”

Her sister throws the pillow back at her, clearly amused, “I didn’t do it voluntarily.” Chaewon giggles out as Jinsoul kicks her feet at her. It felt like old times, when their parents were somewhere in the world being picture perfect people and they were stuck alone in the big empty box they called a home. When it was just girls talk between them, the most comfortable moments of Jinsoul’s teenage years. The only time she didn’t feel like she was being trapped. 

Her sister smiles at her and pokes through the stuff again, “I think I know a guy that can help out with the money.” Jinsoul’s ears burn, did she ever mention how much she loved her baby sister who seemed to have a whole army of underground friends. “But you have to promise to never mention you getting down with Sooyoung.”

Jinsoul groans, “that’s no fair who else am I gonna talk to!”

“Anyone but me! That homo stuff gives me the heebie jeebies.”

Jinsoul rolls her eyes, smacking her sister with a pillow. It the waning hours of the sunset, it’s the first time in a while that Jinsoul has felt not so afraid. That she doesn’t have to hide anymore.

She spends the rest of her afternoon speaking of trivial things, catching up with Chaewon who has been very busy lately with her social media presence.

Jinsoul always spends her last few hours speaking of someone who is constantly on her mind. 

She doesn’t feel that guilt when her heart thumps at the thought of Sooyoung’s smile.

~~~~

“Ha.” 

Sooyoung is packing up her things, she was the last to leave. Her coach stands in front of her; red hair flows down her shoulders and the dull light from the now settle sun sits on top of them. Vivi looks a lot more intimidating this way. Practice was about the same today, they were pulling their final stretches of the summer season. It wouldn’t be too much longer until Sooyoung was playing her final games. “What’s sup V.”

Her coach sits besides her down on the sand. It’s strange, the woman wasn’t really keen on words. “You’ve been sluggish, is everything alright.” Sooyoung’s surprised the older woman even noticed. She was sluggish because her legs weren’t quite solid from being turned to jelly from this morning. 

“Just tired.”

Vivi piercing eyes cut right through her, “where’s your partner? You ever find out where the hell she's been? I kinda wanna win this game next week ya know.”

Sooyoung tightens her grip on her bag, “she’s been sick, coming back tomorrow.” For some reason she hates lying. It leaves a tension in her chest she’s not comfortable with. Sooyoung’s never been a liar. There’s also a deep worry that’s residing in her. She just wants Jinsoul to be okay. Their talk this morning amongst other things had her on cloud nine. Her dream girl was in love with her. Just how lucky could she be? 

Her best friend, shared something with her that not many people would ever experience Sooyoung considered their story special. She considered their love special. But...something didn’t sit right with her, she knew it wasn’t the full story.

There was pain in Jinsoul’s eyes, it was bittersweet hearing those confessions. Because there were much more darker ones to be surfaced. Sooyoung was ready to face them though. All of what Jinsoul’s been hiding from her. She’s longed to be close to her again. Including all of Jinsoul’s flaws and vulnerabilities. Sooyoung would give her space, she knew the first part of the whole truth. It was more than enough now.

She’s always been patient with Jinsoul.

“You can talk to me Sooyoung, I’m not only your coach. I can be your friend too or whatever you’d like.” Sooyoung nods, Vivi seemed sincere. “I’ve coached you for almost four years now. I want to make it the most for you, so if you need anything just tell me.”

Sooyoung watches the woman stand up, leaving her behind. She’s never really had a mentor that’s not been family. Well besides Hani...and well. She’s not the sharpest knife. “Wait!” Sooyoung catches up with her coach who freezes at her voice.

“Um can I get your advice on something?” Sooyoung asks weakly, Vivi was seasoned. Sooyoung has seen her coach with multiple partners too. And despite knowing her pretty well, she was still a complete stranger. Sooyoung wishes to change that. The red-headed woman smiles.

“Let’s go get sushi Ha.”

~~~~

Ay yaya I’ve hit a bit of a bump hehe. A bit of a writer’s block maybe? I know this chapter might be trash but all in all I think it’s a nice filler. Drama will be coming soon hehe. Again sorry for the bland chapter :/ 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	24. Fine China

“Don’t tell me you’re a picky eater Sooyoung.” The woman across from her stirs her noodles up before taking a bite. Sooyoung only pokes at her fried pork cutlet.

It’s not that she wasn’t hungry. “I’m not that hungry.” She was nervous.

Her coach continues to stir the noodles, even though they really don’t need it. Vivi is flowing through the action as if it was just a distraction for Sooyoung. “You said you needed my advice? Or was this only for you to get a free meal.” The older woman glances up for the first time and snickers when Sooyoung grimaces at the eye contact. 

“No, I did. But now I’m not so sure I should admit it.”

The waiter comes by and refills Vivi’s cup, Sooyoung’s doesn’t need it since she hasn’t touched hers. “Admit what? That you need advice or the problem itself.” The words strike Sooyoung in a strange way. She’s never admitted that she needed help, just her problems. It’s better to have someone listen to her and give her some sympathy, there’s no guilt of burden as there is when you ask for help. 

“Both.”

Vivi hums and starts to eat and that’s when Sooyoung thinks the conversation has ended. She starts to eat in small bites. Then bigger ones when she’s sure Vivi isn’t going to say something else. 

Right when Sooyoung takes the biggest bite Vivi asks a question she isn’t prepared for, “where is Jinsoul? Honestly.” Choking on her food some people stare. Vivi only offers her the glass of water she’s neglected. Sooyoung accepts it and chugs it desperately, coughing when she’s in the clear again.

Sooyoung sits the water down, “thanks.” But she doesn’t answer, she’s secretly hoping her near death experience was enough of a reaction for Vivi to not push further. 

“So? Where’s Jinsoul.” 

She stops eating all together, putting down her chopsticks to lean back into her seat. “I said she’s sick.”

“She’s sick right, I’m sorry I don’t really buy it.” Vivi draws on and elegantly eats her food. “I spend most of my summer training you girls, I think I know you all pretty well.” Sooyoung swallows her reply, it wasn’t going to work no way. “I’ve known Jinsoul for a while, she’s too stubborn of a person to let something like that make her miss practice, if you could remember the first summer I had with you all, she had weirdly broke her hand, it didn’t stop her then.”

Sooyoung wants to roll her eyes, “she’s really sick, can’t get out of bed.”

Vivi looks up, “have you been in her bedroom?”

Blushing Sooyoung glances everywhere but the woman staring straight at her. A sweat breaks on the back of her neck. “No, we just talked over the phone.”

“I thought you two hated each other.”

“We moved on from that.”

“How so?”

Sooyoung scoffs, “you ask too many questions.” 

Her coach hums and takes a bite, slowly chewing. Sooyoung is getting pissed. This was a mistake, her coach has always been annoying like this. “I have to if I want to get to the truth.” 

“Fine. She wasn’t sick.”

Vivi smiles at her victory. It makes Sooyoung sick herself. “She was running away from the past.” 

Her coach raises a brow, “what a dramatic thing to say.”

Sooyoung starts to feel her blood boil, “seriously? Like you haven’t been dramatic before?” Her coach waves her off with a limp hand and continues to eat. Sooyoung is tired of this conversation and starts to leave. Vivi could have her food, she could stick is right up her a-

“You still haven’t told me what’s been bothering you.” Sooyoung freezes on her way out. Debating on whether to reply or not would be a good idea. “You know, Jungeun has quite the blabber mouth.” Sooyoung’s color fades from her face. Jungeun knew almost everything. Rushing back to her seat she inches closer so she can whisper.

Vivi isn’t affected by the promixiety, if anything she accepts it. “What did she tell you?”

Her coach hums, “I didn’t know I had two pairs of lovers on my team.”

Sooyoung’s knees hit the table and Vivi only raises up to avoid the splash of her drink. “Then again, you two are a lot more complex than those lovebirds. Jungeun and Jiwoo have never caused problems however,” Vivi glances up, her eyes glossed. “You and Jinsoul are starting to piss me off.” Sooyoung has never actually been afraid of her coach but now…she can’t fight the chills that run up and down her spine.

“I asked because my star players have been absent, even when they’re on the court. So of course I asked Jungeun and Jiwoo. It’s amazing how much they spilled. Seems like they’re fed up too.” Sooyoung swallows harshly, “I’m not worried about the team. I’m worried about you two and if you will be okay. I don’t need the details, I need a yes or no.”

Staring down at her food she’s suddenly hungry, a lot hungrier than before. “We’re okay.” 

“Good.” 

“It’s just that…” Sooyoung begins but then stops. She isn’t sure if she should rant to her coach. “I don’t know, it's a lot honestly.” 

Vivi puts down her chopsticks, “I have time if you do.” 

Sooyoung blushes at the sincerity, “okay...okay.” 

Scratching at her head she rethinks their history. She remembers it differently now. Since this morning she’s been thinking of all the things she might have missed. Clues that were hidden. She always looked at the surface of Jinsoul. How the girl seemed to hate her, but she never paid attention to the details that proved the exact opposite of that. 

Jinsoul really did love her all that time despite pushing her away. There must have been times where that mask had slipped from her face. There must have been a moment where Jinsoul wasn’t pretending. When the secret wasn’t so much of a secret no more. Sooyoung felt stupid for never noticing, for not searching closer. She wanted to know where she missed it. How she never figured it out.

“Me and Jinsoul’s always been together.” Sooyoung starts.“Ever since we’ve been kids.”

“But this is the first time I feel like she’s finally mine.” 

Sooyoung breathes out. And holds it for the rest of the time she’s telling their story. The one she’s never fully told yet. Sooyoung doesn’t think she ever will.

It’s not a story she’d like to remember. She only wants to keep the good parts to memory.

And the rest of it as a faded thought. 

~~~~

Sooyoung sweats much harder when Jinsoul returns the next day. Body covered only by a sport bikini. It’s like she’s nervous for the first time all over again. When she developed that silly crush on Jinsoul all those years ago. Vivi smiles at Jinsoul, “heard you was pretty sick. Take it easy today.” Jinsoul nods at her coach and barely looks at Sooyoung.

Jiwoo and Jungeun squabble on the other side of the net. Hyunjin stares directly at the sun out of boredom. “God Jiwoo stop. I don’t need that much sun screen.” Jungeun whines out and Jiwoo just keeps lathering on the lotion. 

“The last time you got burnt all you did was complain. My ears are tired Jungie.” The blonde rolls her eyes and stares at the two ahead. Jinsoul and Sooyoung stand at least three feet apart. Awkward as they’ve ever been.

Jinsoul counts grains of sands. Droplets of sweat roll down Sooyoung’s neck. “Um hey.” The taller of the two speaks first waving out her hand. Jinsoul finds a spec of black in the sand. 

“Hi.”

She loses the spec when Sooyoung shifts her feet. Jinsoul trades the sand for Sooyoung’s skin. Counting the moles on her body. There’s one near her belly button. One on her hip. A few on her chest. There’s one on her left inner thigh and the back of her neck. Jinsoul’s kissed all of them. She knows the constellations of Sooyoung’s body better than the night sky’s.

The sand stuck to the sweat proves that Sooyoung’s already been practicing long before this. Her tired smile is just more evidence that she’s longed to see Jinsoul back on the beach. Because all in all, once upon a time. Volleyball was the only thing they shared. When Sooyoung was so desperate for them to share something. When she even tried to share the hatred that Jinsoul seemed to have for her. But now, it was something different. Something Sooyoung thought they’d never come together on.

It’s what makes her lungs work a little harder when her eyes stay too long on Jinsoul’s face. Sooyoung’s thought she’s always tried hard for them. Tried to not lose the connection between them, even if it meant breaking the one they had before and building a new one. If it took breaking the innocent love they had to create the understanding they had now so be it. Sooyoung felt like she knew every part of Jinsoul. Including the things she didn’t like about her, but she accepted them no matter what. Because Jinsoul’s accepted her in all her glory as well. 

The blonde laughs clearly lost for words, it takes her a second to regain her ground. “I don’t think Vivi is too mad at me.” Jinsoul turns and starts to stretch. Being out for over a week had her a little rusty. She was also hungry…there was no food in the house and she didn’t feel like getting out. 

Sooyoung matches her movements, reaching down to her toes. “She was worried more than anything.” 

Mirroring the blonde Sooyoung stretches her rib cage out, grunting when her spine pops. Jinsoul scoffs and rolls her shoulders, “I hate when people worry about me.” 

This is one of the things Sooyoung disliked about Jinsoul. Her belief that people shouldn’t worry over her wellbeing. “Can’t help to care about you Jinsoul.” 

Jinsoul, skinnier than usual stands straight, visible tension in her face. “You’re right, it's just...I don’t think I deserve it after all I’ve done.” Jinsoul picks at her bikini bottoms, her thoughts make her restless. She wasn’t able to sleep last night. 

“You don’t.”

Sooyoung moves over after she says that. Lifting Jinsoul’s arms up so she can stretch the blonde out. The shorter girl sighs at the warm but sweaty palms of her girlfriend. Sooyoung slides them up to her elbows and squeezes, “doesn’t mean nobody will stop caring for you though.” The tension leaves Jinsoul’s muscles as Sooyoung gently massages them. It’s relieving that she still had her best friend after all the mistakes and bad choices. She thinks this may be her third and final chance to not fuck things up. Jinsoul wasn’t choosing anything but Sooyoung from now on. 

“Sooyoung.”

“Hmm?”

“Will you stay with me tonight?”

The strong hands leave her back and Jinsoul instantly misses them. Turning around she inches closer to Sooyoung, “I don’t want to be alone.” It’s a desperate plea, one that Jinsoul isn’t afraid to beg for now. She’s spent so many years suppressing her needs, the ones she’s wanted Sooyoung to fulfill. That she doesn’t think she can hide them anymore. 

Black eyes soften, Jinsoul’s wanted Sooyoung to look at her like that for years. And now, that’s the only way she looks at her. “I know you wanted space, but it’s hard when I’ve waited forever for this.” Jinsoul almost had it when she was fourteen. But it was ripped away from her. She was forced to stand on the sidelines, trapped, not being able to do anything. It felt like she was drowning everyday that she had to push Sooyoung away and experience her and her best friend becoming estranged. 

Being in highschool, watching Sooyoung try hard for her, was a trial of her patience. The only thing she did was watch the girl break. It was Jinsoul’s turn to break. “Please?” Jinsoul was so selfish.

Sooyoung licks her lips, looking around as if she didn’t already know what she was going to say. Of course she wanted to stay with Jinsoul. “I can give you your car back but…”

“Please Sooyoungie.” Jinsoul tickles at her tummy and the taller girl hides her laugh the best she can while pushing the wandering hands away. Holding Jinsoul’s hands in her own she swings them, smiling so hard it makes her jaw hurt.

Sooyoung really can't help it can she? “Fine, only if you do good today. I’ll come over.” Jinsoul bounces a bit on her toes before leaning over for a-

The whistle blows and they break apart like ocean waves. Vivi stares at them, “no flirting at practice.” Sooyoung fumes, Jungeun and Jiwoo practically, “and no. I don’t care that Jungeun and Jiwoo do it too.” 

Rolling her eyes she shrugs at Jinsoul and starts to warm up. Sooyoung knew she was silly to mention a bargain. Jinsoul plays the best she has in a long time. Sometimes Sooyoung can’t even get her hand on the ball for a few rally’s. Jinsoul keeps blocking Jungeun’s hits. 

One particular point Sooyoung is dashing towards the sand, almost gets it in her mouth. Jinsoul pops it over the net with her knuckles since the dig was so jagged. Jungeun’s still weak on her knee, she’s slow and doesn’t make it in time. 

As Jiwoo runs to get the stray ball, Sooyoung prefers to stay on the sand where it’s warm and comfy. And where she can see  _ everything.  _ Jinsoul nonchalantly picks a wedgie, Sooyoung laughs to herself and rolls over onto the sand. “Fuck.” The image sticks to her head and she can stop thinking about Jinsoul’s ass. It’s so…

“Wow that ball is kinda bouncy right?” Sooyoung didn’t even know she eyes had closed. Daydreaming about her girlfriend when she should be focused on other round things. Peaking one eye open, she’s pleased to see Jinsoul standing over her. The blonde’s ponytail slipped over her shoulder. 

Sooyoung’s head spins, “you’re pretty.” Jinsoul blushes and kicks sand in her face, spitting, groaning at the bit that got in her mouth she rolls back to her feet. Chasing after Jinsoul who was going on the net. “Sorry.” Jinsoul doesn’t turn around only waits for Jiwoo and Jungeun to stop strategizing. “You just look so good.” Sooyoung emphasizes by swiping the sand off Jinsoul’s body, which was totally not an excuse to touch her…

“You should focus on the game.” Jinsoul pushes Sooyoung away with a small smirk dancing on her features. Nodding her head, Sooyoung makes her way in her place. She liked the playfulness, how relaxed Jinsoul was. Staring at her partner Sooyoung does the exact opposite of what she tell her to.

Jinsoul was just too much of a distraction. 

Jungeun and Jiwoo struggle to keep up with the two on the other side of the net. With Sooyoung not letting the call drop, Jinsoul keeps plowing towards them. Jinsoul overheats in the sun from working so hard, Sooyoung rests her hands on top of her head. Her muscles tense from the exhaustion. Looking towards Jinsoul who isn’t even out of breath, Sooyoung gets thirsty from the site of the sweat glistening on her girlfriend’s body. 

Crossing her hands she calls out, “time out!” The two on the other side groan, thankful for a break. Vivi just keeps fanning her face from the heat. Sooyoung drags her feet towards the water jugs and gets a full cup, about to chug it, the cup is snatched right out of her hands. Knitting her brows she turns to see the blonde at her side. 

Jinsoul drinks it all in one go, “thanks babe.” Sooyoung’s throat cracks at the wink Jinsoul throws at her. Watching her walk off Sooyoung fumbles around to pour herself another cup, thirstier than before. 

Practice ends at dark. The best one they’ve had yet. Coach V is pleased and pats them on the back. Smiling harder than she usually is. 

Sooyoung picks on her sister as Heejin comes to pick her up, her sister is clearly embarrassed since her girlfriend only knows how to drive a moped. Sooyoung cracks up and snaps a few photos of her sisters grown ass on the back of the vehicle. The two putter off as Sooyoung waves. 

“Hurry, it’s getting cold.” Sooyoung doesn’t even realize she’s been standing there staring at the road for minutes now. Jinsoul stands behind her, in an oversized outfit. Her hair now in higher bun. Looking the blonde up and down, Sooyoung takes a deep breath and pounces on her girlfriend. 

Jinsoul screams as Sooyoung pesters her with teasing fingers. They don’t notice the small car parked a way off, staring them down with fierce intensity. Jinsoul squirms in Sooyoung’s arms, squeezing on her waist to try and persuade the girl to stop. But Sooyoung didn’t want to stop, how could she when she was this happy. 

The blonde drags her towards the car, shoving Sooyoung in the back seat. Sooyoung doesn’t even know how to react when Jinsoul climbs on top of her, kissing her senselessly. The door is shut with Jinsoul’s foot, and they both lose the concept of time in favor of learning every angle of the kiss. 

Sooyoung learns that this was more than she ever wanted.

~~~~ 

Jinsoul is still a little dizzy from making out with Sooyoung as she drags the clothes off her body. The smile on her face hasn’t left the entire time, not even when she accidentally smashes her finger in the washer. Sooyoung skips down the stairs at the cry for help. Jinsoul holds her finger up and Sooyoung instantly kisses it better, “wha happened?”

Frowning Jinsoul glances at the machine buckling, “it got caught.” Sooyoung kisses it again and pulls her into a hug, Jinsoul clings to Sooyoung’s shirt and breathes deeply. Her smell is addicting, Jinsoul buries her face into the source. It’s a mix of sweat and vanilla, something she’d usually find repluisive, but she loved it on Sooyoung. The girl’s presence surrounds her entirely. Like a thick fog that Jinsoul didn’t mind being lost in.

Sooyoung giggles when Jinsoul’s teeth nibble at the crook of her neck. Lifting the blonde up she spins them around, their feet scuffling on the concrete of the basement. With the roar of the washer, their laughs fill the space as well. And Jinsoul doesn’t feel the pressure anymore the one that’s always been on her heart. 

Later, when they’ve eaten and showered. Jinsoul pushes Sooyoung into her bedroom playfully. The whole evening they’ve spent has been less of words, and more of stolen glances and soft touches. Sooyoung almost trips on her way in, “wowwww you really wanna get me in here don’t you, what’s on your mind Jinsoul?” Sooyoung lowers her voice seductively and Jinsoul would be affected by it if she wasn’t laughing so hard. 

Sooyoung trips and Jinsoul finally gives her some space. The blonde goes to flop on her bed. Her sheets warm and clean. She’s expecting Sooyoung to flop on top of her but she never does, glancing over towards her lover. Sooyoung is staring ahead and that’s when Jinsoul realizes her mistake. Her plan was still on the white board, written in full detail.

“You’re leaving?”

It’s thick, the sound of her voice. Jinsoul sighs, “yeah, and I was hoping you’d come with me.” Sooyoung jerks her gaze to her eyes. Jinsoul is sincere. “I won’t leave without you.” Sooyoung swallows hard and blinks back tears. “I know you’re graduating in December. I’m waiting until then. And that’s when I’ll ask you. If you’ll runaway with me.” 

Sooyoung nods. All the scribbles on the board just doesn't make sense. “Why do we have to run away?” 

“We don’t have to, it’s just a suggestion.” 

“I asked why. Not if we’re going to or not.”

Sooyoung steps closer to Jinsoul. Knocking their knees together, looking down into the blonde’s eyes her heart aches but not for herself. Jinsoul’s stare visibly hardens. 

“You really wanna know don’t you?” 

~~~~

Hours later, Jinsoul flinches every time one of her mother's fine China pieces shattered into tiny bits of pieces. It’s like a reflection of herself throughout the years. Sooyoung takes the bat and breaks the most expensive piece. That’s the pieces Jinsoul will used to glue herself back together, from the years she’s been broken again and again she’s lost a few pieces of herself. She’ll need new ones to be whole again.

Sooyoung wipes the sweat off her brow, the girl has always had a temper. “ _ Stupid fucking-.”  _ Jinsoul closes her eyes when the whole display comes to a fine dust. Sooyoung keeps grunting as she beats down on the glass. Over and over again. 

Jinsoul tries to not blame herself for Sooyoung’s anger. 

~~~~

Next week on this poorly written telenova...we will find out why Yves is busting up Jinsoul’s mom’s fine china! Haha bye~

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	25. One of these nights

Her toes sink into the sand every time the waves reach her ankles. The ocean pulls her in with a force that never changes. Jinsoul slowly loses herself in the rhythm, the continuous push and pull traps her in a figurative clock. 

Time stops and Jinsoul’s never been so comfortable.

The ocean never changes itself. But there’s always something that disrupts the flow. It’s not the bond it has with the moon that is wrong, it's hurricanes, earthquakes, any storm that twirls in the sky. Tonight is different, it’s a clear sky. Not a cloud in sight and the stars peak out to show their jewels. So there’s nothing broken in the relapse. The waves crash exactly when they’re supposed to. There’s nothing making them break faster or harder. They roll gently onto the sand, around Jinsoul’s feet and her heart starts to steady.

She glances up, afraid of losing herself entirely to the ocean’s unwavering rhythm. Jinsoul stares at what makes that rhythm. The only reason the water seems alive, what makes it dance around. The moon shines brightly tonight. 

“It’s pretty isn’t it.” The voice belongs to her own moon. 

Jinsoul has always been a rough body of water. Her waves crash too violently, making it dangerous for someone to swim in such a condition, they’d drown in seconds for sure.

“It is.” She mumbles out, Jinsoul’s had too many hurricanes and earthquakes in her life that's disrupted her heart. It’s always been stormy weather. But despite the clouds always looming around, behind them glowed her moon. It was a dream just to get a clear night just so she can feel the force it brought. When she could easily drift and not worry about drowning anyone but herself. 

Tonight was one of those nights, she stares at Sooyoung to her side. The girl glimmered under the pale moonlight. She could see her perfectly. Her heart pumped steadily, no storm clouds in sight. The waters were calm. 

Sooyoung’s head is hung, bewitched by the rhythm of waves as well. The only sensation being the breeze brought from the farthest corners of the world to here. Right here where they were glued into the sand. Realizing how much they resembled the strongest natural bond known. 

Jinsoul always thought they were star crossed lovers. But Sooyoung wasn’t weak enough to let other forces like hurricanes to destroy her rhythm of heart. Jinsoul however, was exactly like that. Weak enough to let a storm completely destroy her. 

Not anymore though. She didn’t want to be star crossed lovers when the girl beside her was comparable to the whole universe. It would be silly to label them as that. It was beyond Jinsoul, and she didn’t want to question it like she has everything in her life.

She didn’t want to feel insignificant anymore. And that was everything that Sooyoung has worked towards. So that she would never feel that way ever again. It would be pathetic of her to not accept the effort and see herself as something as big as the universe as well.

Jinsoul would never let a storm waver her anymore. She’d never let herself burn out like one of the stars in the sky. Standing beside Sooyoung, she feels like this may last forever. Just like the universe, something about this feeling was never ending.

“I used to have dreams about you.” Jinsoul reaches out to hold the hand that keeps brushing against her own. Knuckles knocked and then locked together. Sooyoung let’s her words come out slowly, like she doesn’t even realize that she’s saying it outloud. Like an afterthought. “They were on a beach just like this.”

Jinsoul gets nervous at the tone. But excited that Sooyoung dreamed about her. “It always ends with you telling me you’ll never be the girl I want you to be, then you would drown me.” 

“Oh.”

Her waters break tide. She hates how the words make her feel, it’s like the clouds begin to swirls, from Sooyoung’s hotter air and her cooler. Jinsoul doesn’t want to start a storm, she only knows to ask, “and what girl do you want me to be?”

Sooyoung smiles, nude lips reflect blue and grey. Jinsoul’s always liked softer colors on Sooyoung’s skin. “The one you are now.” Jinsoul raises her brow at the confession. “The one you’ve always been.” Jinsoul’s never changed on the inside, she’s only buried herself beneath the surface. When everyone saw the beauty of Jinsoul, Sooyoung only saw the rough edges. The girl she knew was hidden, and didn’t bloom for several springs.

Jinsoul feels the palm in hers tighten, her ankles are in the sand now, she keeps sinking deeper. “Were you afraid?” 

Pulling Sooyoung closer to her she leaned her head on her shoulder. She begins to close her eyes slowly, the skirt of her dress whips in the breeze and soaks heavily from the splashing water.

“Never.”

Jinsoul has to open her eyes when Sooyoung grabs her jaw with gentle hands. Looking into black that was lighter than the sun she gets lost in eyes she thought she’d never see again at one point in her life, “I could still see you above the surface.”

“You were always reaching for me.”

~~~~

_ 3 days earlier. _

“You really want to know don’t you?” Jinsoul says it bitterly. She doesn’t want to tell Sooyoung what she went through. Jinsoul doesn’t want to taint this even further, she doesn’t want to remember her feelings in the darkness where they used to be locked away. 

They were in the light now. And it was amazing to share that with Sooyoung, she didn’t want to go back to the dark and she didn’t want to drag Sooyoung back with her. She wishes she could make her move on, but Sooyoung wants to know everything.

Including the worst of it.

“Tell me.”

“And what if I don’t want to?”

Sooyoung breaks her with what she says next, “I want to know what was so bad that made you do the things you did.”

The thing that…

The thing that made Jinsoul think that her feelings for Sooyoung were twisted and disgusting. The thing that made her selfish. The thing that made her hate herself in the late hours of the night. The thing that made her turn into Sooyoung’s worst nightmare.

What led them to become estranged, to become complete opposites of what they used to be. What caused Jinsoul to long after the girl she wanted but couldn’t have. What caused her to ruin the one good thing she had in her life. She almost ruined Sooyoung. 

She pushed her away.

Made her feel insignificant.

Wanted to hate her.

They became enemies because of what Jinsoul experienced. Because Jinsoul was weak enough to let it get inside her head. 

What made her heart stumble and feel burned when Sooyoung would beg her to forgive her all those years ago. The young girl would cry thinking she was the thing that was wrong but she wasn’t even close to being the mistake. It was all Jinsoul.

It was her mistake for letting Sooyoung to believe she was the problem. 

“Do you remember the party? When my mother said all that to yours? And she called you…” Jinsoul doesn’t finish. Staring straight into Sooyoung’s eyes she swallows at how they unwavering compared to hers, the vision blurring because of the tears. “She knew I was in love with you and ripped the letters that I wrote to you in front of my face.”

She finally sees Sooyoung swallow, she understands it’s hard to hear this. “I could have spent the rest of my life in Japan. Because I refused to let you go.” Jinsoul seethes out, angry in the remembrance. “I wanted to fight for you.”

But fighting doesn’t always work. Jinsoul was only fourteen, she didn’t understand much then. Let alone the power of a parent. How much influence of the person that’s supposed to love you unconditionally really has. “If I didn’t let you go. If I didn’t stop loving you she would have tore us apart anyways. The only reason I’m still here because I threw away my feelings for you.” 

Jinsoul chokes and pushes Sooyoung away from her, it’s smothering. She can remember hiding in her closet, her shoulders shaking every time her mother beat down on the closed door.

“I wanted to hate you. The way she hated me.” Jinsoul would never give Sooyoung the details, “I tried to hate you because it would have made it easier wouldn’t it?” _Easier to let you go._ _Easier for you to move on._

Sooyoung reaches around for a surface to lean on. She ends up knocking over a few things onto the carpet. But finds entirely too late when Jinsoul starts to speak again, “but of course you had to make that so fucking hard for me because you were everything I wanted you to be.”

“When I told you to stay away you had to get closer.”

“When I told you that we would never be anything more. You gave me the reason it would always be something more. That we would always be something.”

Jinsoul stands, getting close as she can to Sooyoung and giving her the surface to lean on that she was so desperately looking for, “when I lied. When I lied and said I hated you. All you said back was that you loved me.”

How easy would it have been if Sooyoung had given up on her like the way she’d given up on her. 

Jinsoul would have lost Sooyoung in a heartbeat. But Sooyoung persisted like Jinsoul did in the beginning.

Until she had to start covering the bruises on her face with layers of makeup. When she had to wear turtle necks to hide the imprints of fingertips on her throat. When she had to wear coats to school because she had a cold from sleeping outside the night before. She stopped fighting so hard then. 

Jinsoul wasn’t afraid of her mother no matter how many times she tried to force her to change. She was afraid of everyone seeing the person she really was. Because if Jinsoul’s feelings for Sooyoung was bad enough to be punished like that, then it was bad enough to bury so deep inside her that it’d never see the light. She wanted no one to know who she was. 

She was afraid of becoming the girl her mother wanted her to be. But Jinsoul became the exact opposite of that, “no matter how hard I tried I could never hate you. No matter how hard she tried, she could never rip the love I have for you out of me.”

“Because I’ve never stopped loving you. Even when you finally started to slip from the hold I had on you.” Jinsoul breathes out, “I believed what I felt for you was wrong, but it didn’t stop me from wanting you.” Pressing her hand against Sooyoung’s chest she sighs at how hard her heart is beating.

No matter how many blows to the heart she’s had. It’s never been broken because Sooyoung was always there in the back of her mind reminded her that it still had a rhythm.

Just like Sooyoung’s had right now.

“My choice was to leave you without a goodbye or stay, and break what we had, to throw away everything. Neither one was fair to you. I was going to hurt you either way.” Jinsoul explains, “if I didn’t listen I was...I tried at first. How could I just stay away from you.” 

Jinsoul remembers how she thought it would work. And she always remembers coming home to the darkness in her mother’s eyes. How they scared her more than any nightmare she’s ever had. “It’s weird, how it seemed everyone was watching me.” Her mother had power with money. 

_ “So help me if you continue to follow that girl, you’ll regret ever being born.” _

_ “Don’t try and hide it either. I will always know. When you refuse to change those disgusting thoughts you have.”  _

_ “I will not let you ruin your life because of that-.” _

Jinsoul was conditioned, eventually becoming numb to it all. She became good at ignoring her feelings. She lost her emotions and became good at faking them. “Sometimes I wish I went to Japan.”

Sooyoung hands clench at her waist painfully, nails dig into her skin hard enough to leave marks. The girls head is rested on her shoulder now, Jinsoul can hear the faint noises of what could be considered sobs. Jinsoul has her fingers buried in Sooyoung’s hair, scratching at her scalp to let her know that she’s still here. That she isn’t running anywhere anytime soon. 

“I tell myself it would have been better for you, it wouldn’t have been so...Sooyoung you could have had a normal life. If you would had forgotten about me and moved on-.”

“ _ Shut up.”  _ Sooyoung gasps out while pulling her closer. 

But Jinsoul can't stop talking, “I was so  _ selfish _ . I couldn’t...I wasn’t thinking.”

“The actual thought of you forgetting about me destroyed me more than anything. If I had disappeared and you replacing me.” Anger bubbles in Jinsoul’s veins, she’s never been in control. And she’s still afraid she isn’t. “I can’t stand it Sooyoung. I still can’t-.”

Jinsoul stares at the wall ahead and everything feels like it closing in on her, “but I stayed and I kept hurting you over and over again because I had no idea what to do.” 

“I didn’t want to say those things to you, I didn’t want to neglect you. I didn’t want  _ any of this  _ Sooyoung.” Jinsoul wraps her arms around the trembling girl tightly, she’s starting to shake as well. “I did the things I did because I was being told the way I’ve felt all my life was wrong.” 

“I thought loving you was wrong.” She admits heavily, “until I realized it’s the only thing I’ve done right.” That was her mistake, for loving Sooyoung at the wrong time. But could she know when it’s always felt right. When she was comfortable in Sooyoung’s embrace, when she protected Sooyoung from all those mean kids, when she held her hand too much. 

When she only looked at her like someone who was in love with her would.

Jinsoul made the mistake in being too obvious with how smitten she was. Then she made the mistake in being too selfish. Not being able to settle with the fear of Sooyoung not recognizing her after she’s left for long. Not being able to survive without seeing Sooyoung’s face everyday. Jinsoul was so selfish.

She chose her feelings over Sooyoung’s. “I should have told you back then. I’ve treated you...the way I would never want you to be.” Jinsoul whispers out and makes one last mistake, “you deserve better than me.” 

Sooyoung breaks away from her even before she gets the last word in, “what?” Her eyes are red from the tears, her face is a bit glossy from how she was sobbing. “Are you fucking serious?!”

Jinsoul isn’t for sure what’s so wrong with what she said, “it’s the truth.”

Sooyoung radiates anger, and Jinsoul feels the blunt of it when Sooyoung pushes her back. “Then what do I deserve?” 

Stumbling back Jinsoul’s confused, “someone who doesn’t hurt you. Someone who-.”

Sooyoung’s own frustrations show through the grit of her teeth, the clench of her jaw and fists. Her eyes that finally start to waver, “Don’t make me feel like I’ve wasted my entire life on you. Don’t make me feel like I’ve made a wrong choice choosing you by saying bullshit like that Jinsoul.” Sooyoung spits out, fed up, exhausted and most of all, disappointed. “I want you to fight for me! I don’t want you to sound so close to giving me up!” 

Sooyoung is borderline screaming at her at this point. “Tell me who I deserve!” 

“Fight for me. Like the way you said you wanted to. Everything that has happened. Happened. And now I want you to show me how you would have done things differently if they hadn’t.” Jinsoul reaches out to grab Sooyoung’s hand, and the girl doesn’t allow her to. “I want you to be selfish for once in your life. You think you have been but I’ve never been your choice Jinsoul, even if I’ve chosen you over and over again.” 

Jinsoul doesn’t know what to think, her thoughts everything she’s built up inside seemed to disappear at Sooyoung’s words. “I’m here. I’m right here because I choose to give you chance after chance. When I had no idea what you really wanted.” 

Sooyoung’s tone softens and her tears flow freely, “and now I know you didn’t have the choice back then. But now that you do I want you to choose me and not say stupid shit like I deserve better.” It falls to silence, the one sided argument. Jinsoul rethinks her words, how she was looking for self pity when she needed to look for forgiveness. 

“I’m sorry.” Sooyoung apologizes and closes her eyes. “No matter how good you think I deserve it. I would still be miserable thinking of how good it felt to be with you.” 

Sooyoung stares into her eyes and it feels like she’s drowning, “I want you to feel good about loving me. And not think about if it would be better if I loved someone else.” Those words strike realization on her, she still was influenced by her mother. She thought her feelings were still bad, but instead of hiding them she tried to burn them into a flame. She thought Sooyoung needed someone other than her, because her love wasn’t good enough for Sooyoung. 

Jinsoul’s hand is grabbed finally and she feels herself being grounded. She has only one reply, “you deserve better Sooyoung.” 

The girl in front of her rolls her eyes but Jinsoul now knows exactly what to say, “you deserve a better me because you’ve always seen me at my lowest.” Sooyoung slowly looks back up, from where she lowered her head. “You don’t have to worry about having better, because I’ll be the best. I’ll do my best for you.” 

Stepping closer she’s nose to nose with Sooyoung, she thinks the girl misunderstood her. “You’re stupid for thinking I’d let you go that easily when you’ve been all I’ve wanted my whole life.” 

Jinsoul caresses the girls face as gently as she could, she’s never been so careful with something in her life but she knew Sooyoung was nowhere near being as fragile as glass. “I want to love you the way I should have all this time. The way I wanted to when I was fourteen and knew that I would marry you one of these days.” 

“I’ll do better Sooyoung, I’m sorry.” Jinsoul loses her grip and leans into Sooyoung’s embrace. Everything is out on the table. Almost everything, but Jinsoul just wants this moment to last forever. “I’ll love you the best that I can.”

Sooyoung sniffles and Jinsoul can feel her shirt being soaked from the tears and snot. Her girlfriend’s blunt nails digging into her back and somehow they tangle up even when the balance is not even right. 

After minutes of listening to Sooyoung’s soft whimpers the girl speaks out again, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” Sooyoung pulls back, her face all puffy from crying. “I..am I allowed to ask what-What she…” Sooyoung wasn’t naive, Jinsoul couldn’t always cover her scars.

Wiping the tears from Sooyoung’s face she kisses under each eye, “it got to the point where sometimes she thought she could physically change me. Even then, it wasn’t as bad as the things she said to me.” Sooyoung eyes darken and Jinsoul tries to stop her from pulling away. Sooyoung angrily starts to cry again. Jerking her hands away from Jinsoul’s trembling ones. Jinsoul never wanted to tell her, afraid of breaking Sooyoung just like she was over and over again.

Jinsoul follows the taller girl through her home, “Sooyoung stop! It wasn’t your fault!” Sooyoung ignores her and continues to crash through the hallways, picking up a pink baseball bat from Chaewon’s room and stomping down the hallway where they never set foot. Her mother’s office.

Sooyoung raises the bat and slams it down on the door handle. Her mother always had this room locked, Jinsoul’s only been there once. They weren’t allowed in there, “Sooyoung please…”

The girl bursts into the door, leaving a trail of fire where she walked. Jinsoul gasped at all the artwork, all the expensive pieces of glass and pottery, Asian baskets that looked like a relic. Sooyoung turns to her, “I’m not innocent Jinsoul.”

Jinsoul’s eyes widen when the bat swings and destroys a vase that her mother paid thousands for. She loved that vase more than she did her own children. “I said things that I shouldn’t have many times because I was bitter.” Sooyoung slams the bat into the mahogany desk, cracking its wood. “I only cared about myself. And how you didn’t love me anymore.” 

The wood cracks again and Jinsoul flinches, “I hurt you because I wanted to! I had the choice to hurt you when I shouldn’t have!” The desk inverts on the third strike. “When I had no idea what it was like for you!” 

Sooyoung keeps breaking things out of her anger. The reality of it all was too hard to swallow. She went home everyday mad that Jinsoul wouldn’t say hi to her. Jinsoul went home every day to…

She hurts her wrist since she slams the bat down so hard. Of course, it got worse over the years. Jinsoul became more of a nightmare, Sooyoung became more a bully, feeding fuel to a flame. All the pain locked inside of Jinsoul spilled out when she pushed the girl’s buttons enough, causing her to do the things she did that still haunt Sooyoung to this day. Sooyoung took her frustration out on Jinsoul, and Jinsoul did the same with her. When all they wanted to do was actually be together. 

It’s not Jinsoul’s fault for what happened. It’s no one's fault. But Sooyoung is still pumped full of anger and she has nowhere to release it other than the ugly pieces of glass around the office. She breaks every last piece, moving towards the fine China that must be worth her entire house, probably way more.

Jinsoul stands behind her, trying to calm her down each time she stumbles. But Sooyoung wants to break everything that relates to Jinsoul’s broken pieces.

She’ll make sure they’ll all be put back together.

~~~~

_ 3 days later. Present  _

Jinsoul is walking deeper into the water, dragging Sooyoung with her. They laugh under the moonlight, it’s the only thing that sees them at this moment. Jinsoul’s dress soaks from the water and Sooyoung hugs her from behind, her lips pressing against her jaw, right below her ear. “Is it cold?”

Shaking her head she pulls Sooyoung is closer, “no, not with you it isn’t.” The water is now up to her chest and she dips underwater every time a wave comes near. Sooyoung stands with her, hopping over the waves. Jinsoul’s head feels heavy and she rests it against Sooyoung’s chest. The waves push against them, but they keep their footing.

Sooyoung brushes out her now wet and knotted hair. Kissing her gently on the mouth, “I love you.” Jinsoul thinks that her waters have always been rough.

But at least she had someone that loved to move with her.

~~~~

Hiii sorry about this very angsty and melodramatic chapter. I was mad when I wrote it but rereading it...it's not so bad maybe! I hope everyone enjoys it! Lots of love Mwah!

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	26. The Return

Several alarms blur off before either one of them wakes up. Sooyoung groans and fidgets around for Jinsoul’s phone, picking it up and glaring at the screen that was flashing. Shutting it off she allows her girlfriend to curl back into her underneath the sheets, she wonders how Jinsoul can even breathe under there. Once she hears Jinsoul’s snoring once again, she glances between the girl and the phone in her hand.

Sooyoung sighs and unlocks it, surprised it doesn't have a passcode on it. She scrolls quickly through Jinsoul’s social media accounts, noticing that the girl doesn’t often go on them...her only likes are all those robots she’s obsessed with and science related posts. Sooyoung’s photos are stuck between them all, along with Chaewon’s. 

Going to Jinsoul’s dms she snorts at all the unopened messages. From girls and guys alike trying to shoot their shot, from random bots and people trying to pull her into a pyramid scam. But they’re all unopened. 

Except a few.

One is Nana’s from years ago, when they were still in highschool It’s the oldest set of messages on there and Sooyoung peaks at it.

[Avaf_skoo_nana]: Jinsoul, I’m sorry I had no idea. I wasn’t thinking straight either. It was my mistake, don’t blame Sooyoung for any of this. 

Sooyoung clicks out of the messages as soon as she sees the date. It was around that time she had sex with Nana in the lockeroom. Suddenly the bitter taste of guilt fills her mouth but she reminds herself it was in the past.

She didn’t know Jinsoul was in love with her just as much as she was.

Ignoring her own messages sent to Jinsoul, which started out with  _ bitch.  _ She goes to actual messages and regrets opening them as soon as she sees his name. It’s Kwon, Jinsoul’s fiance, and he’s messaged her fifteen times since last night. Sooyoung wants to be petty, wants to tell him that Jinsoul’s been screaming her name all night long. That the bruises on Jinsoul’s chest and inner thighs were from her lips and teeth. That Jinsoul’s chants out  _ I love you  _ every time she peaks in pleasure. 

But she knows it would be from her own selfishness, and wouldn’t help Jinsoul at all. It would only harm her and Sooyoung knows better than to be immature. The alarm rings again, Sooyoung lets it go and go before Jinsoul is cursing out to her, “damn Sooyoung shut it off.” Smiling to herself she turns the device off and lays it off side of the bed. She crawls underneath the covers with Jinsoul, replacing morning light with darkness when she pulls them over her head to be with Jinsoul.

The blonde has knots formed over her eyes and Sooyoung finds it adorable, so much that she kisses them away before entangling herself with Jinsoul. The girl deeply breathes in and mumbles out, “why do you always smell good?”

Sooyoung runs the tips of her fingers up and down Jinsoul’s spine, smoothing out the goosebumps with her palm when they rise. “What do I smell like?” Jinsoul hums and it vibrates against Sooyoung’s throat. 

“Vanilla.”

“Weird.”

Jinsoul lowly laughs to herself and Sooyoung thinks of how attractive it is. “Is it? Maybe it’s because you’re so sweet.”

Sooyoung tests her luck, because she’s in love with the way Jinsoul’s laughs. She obsessed with Jinsoul’s happiness to the point we’re she’d do anything to make the girl smile. “Yeah...weird.” She wants to make up for all the years that Jinsoul’s had to fight to smile just so everyone else was okay. Sooyoung wants the girl in her embrace to truly feel a calm to the storm that’s always been following her. 

Jinsoul laughs again, the way she does when she’s comfortable and it’s okay not to say anything else. A noise will do. Since it speaks multiple feelings.

Sooyoung moves with her when Jinsoul starts to stir, narrowing her eyes as bright morning light invades. Once she gets used to the light she discovers what it brings, Jinsoul seems to belong to it with the way it paints her perfectly. Sooyoung sinks into the pillows and mattress, her hair still knotted from the sea water. Jinsoul’s is too, blonde waves flow over sun tanned shoulders. Twisted with salt and her own hands. 

She can’t stand it. Sooyoung can’t stand how hard her heart is beating.

“What’s wrong?” Jinsoul asks with no seriousness in her tone. She looks exceptionally tired, but with acceptance. Like she was glad to be exhausted, like the way it is when she’s worked hard on something. Dark circles contrast the genuine smile on her lips and Sooyoung has to reach up to drag her thumb across the pink slips of flesh just to make sure they’re real. They are, they’ve been on her countless times. In reality and fantasy. 

Sooyoung sighs, “it’s nothing.” Is what she says.

What she wants to say is _ I can’t imagine my life without you. _

_ Would I really have the life I wanted without you by my side? _

Jinsoul seems to understand though as if she’s reading the words in her mind through the reflection in her eyes. “Do you want breakfast?” Sooyoung’s tummy growls on cue and her cheeks tint red as Jinsoul laughs it off. It takes minutes for the blonde to finally get all of it out, simply thinking everything is fun when she’s around Sooyoung. The girl must be her umbrella, always shrouding away the rain as it pours. Jinsoul’s world was nothing but clear skies when she with Sooyoung.

Sooyoung let’s Jinsoul crawl over her, but sheets slip away and remnants of last night appear. Sooyoung gets a weight placed on top of her chest when she sees bright red nail marks on Jinsoul’s hips, teeth indentations on her waist. It’s all in bold. Every mark has her name printed on it. Jinsoul’s is hers and Sooyoung almost feels primal with how possessive she is with the girl. How’s she’s never been a fan of doing things that’ll show the morning after. But every time she’s with Jinsoul is the darkest hour of the night she has the urge to imprint her name on the girl’s skin. 

Maybe it’s because she’s never felt like Jinsoul was hers when she’s always belonged to Jinsoul. Maybe it’s because she thought Jinsoul would get lost again and she needed a reminder for where home was. Sooyoung wasn’t for sure why she was so rough with something she held so gently. Why she wanted to break what she thought was the most fragile thing she’s handled. Why she wanted to destroy the thing that she protected so fiercely.

Grabbing onto Jinsoul’s waist, she pulls the girl into her lap. Jinsoul doesn’t protest, really, she greedily accepts Sooyoung’s invitation. Because she wasn’t a fragile thing. Jinsoul wanted to feel Sooyoung’s desperation, she liked knowing how badly Sooyoung needed her. The kiss they share brings it to a whole. The way Sooyoung’s lips press against hers and how teeth nip whenever she pulls away too far. How hands try and pull her closer and closer when there’s no more space to fill.

Jinsoul has to open her mouth to breathe when Sooyoung’s hands sneak to the area where it makes her weak. That makes her show how desperate she is with the breath she lets out. Sooyoung mumbles the words that she so wants to hear onto her already swollen lips, “ _ one more time? Can I have you for breakfast?”  _ The blonde would have never thought a question like that would make her eyes crossed.

But here she was, being eaten alive like she was the best meal on earth.

~~~~

Sooyoung doesn't know if she was starving or if Jinsoul was that good at cooking. She eats the food on the plate faster than Jinsoul can scrape it out. This was the way her body had shown exhaustion, not like Jinsoul’s sleepy eyes. But with a bottomless gut. Jinsoul snorts at her when she fits an entire spoon full of rice in her mouth. “How are you eating like that? Have you even breathed yet?” Sooyoung looks up at her sheepishly, Jinsoul was makeup free with her hair in a up ponytail. The only thing that covered her body was a thin but large t-shirt. Sooyoung can feel that pain in her chest once again, but she wouldn’t say it hurt...she wishes the pressure would stay forever.

Swallowing hard she gives an embarrassed response, “yes..I have.” Jinsoul rolls her eyes and fills her plate with the rest of the food she fixed. Sooyoung’s eyes glare at every little piece, it’s not minutes later until it’s all gone. Patting her stomach she leans back into her chair, “when did you learn to cook so good?”

Jinsoul is only eating toast, Sooyoung notices how she’s been eating less and less lately. It doesn’t sit entirely well in her gut. Jinsoul smiles and shuffles over to sit next to her, “me and chae were alone a lot, so I usually made food for us, since Dad and...her were someone else in the world.” Sooyoung wishes she didn’t ask because something dark glints in Jinsoul’s eyes, like a painful memory. She rubs her ankle against Jinsoul’s hopefully bringing her back down to the present day, where she didn’t have to worry about that stuff.

The blonde slowly eats her toast, narrowed eyes at Sooyoung. “Are you worried about Kwon?” Jinsoul asks carefully, “I saw where his messages were opened.” 

Sooyoung turns red and scratches her ear. Jinsoul isn’t angry in the slightest, but she had caught Sooyoung red handed. She never opened Kwon’s messages, only deleted them. Jinsoul wanted Sooyoung to trust her however. She didn’t know how Sooyoung felt about him still talking to her.

“Not really.” Sooyoung replies, she was worried about Jinsoul’s safety, that was all. “He doesn’t bother you does he?”

Jinsoul shakes her head, allowing Sooyoung to press further. “Can I ask? I...don’t really know how much I can.” Jinsoul reaches over to steal Sooyoung’s cup, drinking out of it without breaking the staring contest she was having with the girl in front of her.

Bringing the cup down and licking her lips she raises one brow, “do you think talking about this stuff is hard for me?” It’s a question Jinsoul already knows the answer to. She knows she shows weakness when reliving a moment from her past but that doesn’t mean it hurts. She’s moved on, this was where she was now. Right where she wanted to be. 

“I didn’t say that, I just asked if it was okay.” Sooyoung softly reassures her, telling her she’s not trying to treat her like she’s a vase being close to breaking. But as a person who has a choice. “That’s all.”

Jinsoul doesn’t smile but she feels like it.. “No, he doesn’t bother me, he’s just annoying at most. I’ve ignored him for years.”

“You said you’ve been with him since…” It’s killing Sooyoung, she has to know. She doesn’t understand why it’s eating at her. “Have you two ever um..”

Sooyoung swallows hard when Jinsoul calmly laughs out, “What? Slept together or kissed or anything?” Nodding her head she curls into herself from how immature she’s being. But being with Jinsoul makes her feel like that naive teenager again. Wanting to know every single detail and being able to get jealous at the whole narrative that plays in her mind. 

It plays out as a horror movie. From Jinsoul laughing at his jokes to holding his hand. To him saying everything she wants to hear. Then doing everything she  _ doesn’t _ want. Sooyoung closes her eyes when she pictures rough hands on Jinsoul’s smooth body. She squeezes them shut when she imagines his lips creating shaky breaths. That he doesn’t hold her like she wants to be held.

“You look like you’re about to have a stroke. Does the thought of me being with someone else make you that mad?” Sooyoung huffs when Jinsoul reaches over to pinch her cheek, amused at how jealous she is. “If you wanna know so bad…” 

Sooyoung is tugged by the back of the neck closer to Jinsoul, where her ear brushes against the girl’s lips. She focuses on the still crackling stove, the smell of it still in her face. But her body reacts to how close Jinsoul is, so sensitive when she’s never been. “I’ve never been with anyone but you.” Sooyoung tilts her head, she must have heard that wrong. “You were my first.” 

“Wait.”

That has to be wrong, because she remembers Jinsoul telling her how she likes it, and how she couldn’t get the image out of her head. “You think I’m lying?” 

Sooyoung glances sideways at the blonde, “I only said those things to get in your head.” 

Jinsoul leans back when Sooyoung faces her, so close that their noses are bumping. “What else have you done?” Jinsoul smiles but doesn’t move, making it a little more intense than it seems.

“Remember when I was telling you all about the guy I liked?” Sooyoung widens her eyes, how could she be so blind. “You’re an idiot Ha Sooyoung.” Jinsoul screams as she’s almost pushed out the chair, Sooyoung only clings to her shirt keeping the blonde’s balance. 

“I love you, ya know?” 

Jinsoul grips her wrists tightly, afraid of falling but also afraid of Sooyoung’s words. “You just let me hate me didn’t you, all those years you allowed me to believe whatever I wanted.” Helping the blonde up she rubs the side of her head gently, “it was so frustrating because I could tell that you were fighting something. I just didn’t know what.”

“Everytime you tried to get close to me again, I didn’t accept it, because I was afraid the next day it would just be another lie.”

Sooyoung lowers her head.“I changed because of you.”Jinsoul brings her hand up to cover the one that was laid against her head. 

First the first time Sooyoung doesn’t see regret in the blonde’s eyes.

There’s something changing in them as well.

~~~~

Sitting in the driver’s seat, Sooyoung taps on the steering wheel to the beat of the song. She and Jinsoul were waiting for practice. Looking over at her girl friend who had her face stuck to the vents she snorts and pokes at her waist, receiving a groan. The blonde in Jinsoul’s hair was starting to darken and Sooyoung couldn’t keep her fingers out of it. Picking at a strand she questions the girl, “sure you won’t be hot?”

Jinsoul was wearing longer shorts today and a large t-shirt. A contrast from her usual bikini that she wore that drove Sooyoung crazy. “Rather be hot than show everyone that you have an obsession with biting me…” Sooyoung turns red and looks out the window, “seriously, I don’t get it, crazy ass.” Jinsoul sighs remembering Sooyoung’s face when she was complaining about all the marks on her body, thankfully none was visible. 

“Sorry, I thought you liked it.”

Jinsoul draws back from the vent, indents of it imprinted on her cheek, “I do...when I’m about to cum I love everything you do.” Sooyoung’s eyes darken at her words and lips are glossed by a tongue that Jinsoul’s become addicted too. Jinsoul has to point a finger in her face, “don’t you start either, we’re taking a break.” 

“A break?”

“Yes.

Sooyoung smirks sleazily, “we’ll see about that.” Jinsoul rolls her eyes and presses her face back to the vent, knowing that the girl’s words were nothing but the truth. She had no control over Sooyoung but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Her side is being poked again and Jinsoul grabs the hand to squeeze on it, she didn’t realize how much attention Sooyoung needed. When they were younger the girl hated it but now Jinsoul could do whatever she wanted to Sooyoung.

About to crawl over the seats and bust it open for her girlfriend there’s a knock on the window. Sooyoung and her both jerk their heads to the noise. 

Jinsoul panics, cursing silently to herself, “why god this has to be a fucking joke.” Sooyoung feels like she’s staring right at Haseul, but she knows better since Jinsoul’s windows are extremely tinted, so much that you couldn’t see in. They sit there silently afraid to make any move and Sooyoung makes a fearful noise when Haseul presses her face to the glass trying to peek inside.

“Nosey ass bitch.”

Jinsoul taps on Sooyoung’s chest trying to tell her to lean her seat back as climbs over the middle part of the car to sit in her lap. Making sure Sooyoung isn't visible, with the seat all the way back Jinsoul pretends to just be chilling in her vehicle, blowing out a stressful breath of air she rolls down the window with a fake smile.

“Heyyy Haseul what’s up? Why are you here?” Jinsoul grits through her teeth while Haseul tries to hop up to look inside the vehicle, Jinsoul hangs out the window to prevent her from doing so...she knew exactly what Haseul was trying to do. 

The short girl glares at her, her hair has gotten longer since she last saw her. “Hey miss ugly.” Jinsoul ignores it and rolls her eyes when Haseul starts to glance around, “I’m getting back on the team.” Jinsoul’s nostrils flare and Sooyoung covers her face up with her palms to contain the groan she wants to let out, just when things we’re starting to go the way they wanted them to go something just had to happen.

“Of course you are.” Jinsoul cuts the bullshit. “And why do you think that’s a good idea?”

Haseul stops staring out into the distance, and turns to look straight into her eyes, “so I can be around Sooyoung? With you out of the picture it’s only a matter of time before she comes crawling back to me.” Jinsoul wants to punch Haseul right in her perfect nose. But she’s gonna be the bigger person, because if she were to say ‘ _ oh really? Well she was fucking me good last night and eating the breakfast I made this morning’  _ wouldn’t be the most mature thing to do.

And Haseul is dangerous, she’s close to Kwon, who is the person that still bridges her to her mother. If Haseul were to find out anything it would get to Kwon and eventually her mother. In turn, it would be a stupid mistake. The one thing Jinsoul needed to do was keep Sooyoung by her side, no matter how much she wanted to brag that the girl was finally hers. 

Instead, she finds a way to still be petty, “Haseul we both know where she’d be if you weren’t such a trifling ass bitch.” The shorter girl clenches her jaw, but relaxes it to smile.

“We’ll see who she pays more attention towards today!” With that the girl leaves and Jinsoul narrows her eyes at the skimpy bikini Haseul has on. Rolling up her window Jinsoul is silent at first, thinking just how she was going to pull today off. First, she didn’t need Haseul to be suspicious of her and Sooyoung, second, she needed Sooyoung to  _ only  _ pay attention to her. Or this practice may end in another bloody nose.

Jinsoul was strategizing, but was interrupted by a giggle. Forgetting that she was even sitting on Sooyoung’s lap she turns to see the girl smiling. Scoffing she jabs Sooyoung in the tummy, “you like this don’t you!” 

Sooyoung holds her hands up in defense as Jinsoul starts to poke at her face playfully, “no jesus! I just-” Jinsoul stops poking her to listen, her arms crossed with an eyebrow raised, “okay maybe I like seeing you jealous is all, it’s cute seeing you get riled up ready to fight for me.” Jinsoul rolls her eyes and turns around, ignoring Sooyoung’s soft pleas of forgiveness.

Jinsoul leans back when Sooyoung starts to gently caress her waist, pulling her back into her hold. Jinsoul sighs when Sooyoung kisses the side of her jaw, “you’re such a little hoebag sometimes you know that?”

Sooyoung snorts and scraps her teeth across the part of her jaw where Jinsoul’s is sensitive, “true playa for real.”

Groaning when Jinsoul jabs her in the elbows she laughs but quickly shuts up when she hears the timid voice, “you’re allowed to look at her...just don’t do it enough to make it hurt.”

Jinsoul looks at the situation at hand and Sooyoung learns that everything that Jinsoul’s been saying is the truth. It seems like everyone is against her. Hugging around the girl’s waist she whispers out against blonde hair, “baby, you know I’ll always look to you. I have my whole life, why would that change now?” 

The blonde holds the hands situated at her belly, “you always know what to say.” Turning in Sooyoung’s lap she scrunches her eyebrows together. “She knows Sooyoung, the whole thing.” Sooyoung nods, knowing what she means by the tone of her voice. 

“What do you need me to do?”

Jinsoul sighs and leans into Sooyoung, knowing that the next few hours are gonna be rough. She knows exactly how they’re going to pull this off. 

“I need you to be yourself.” 

~~~~

Sooo maybe I’m starting to like this story more? Still kinda mad it’s going on forever...when can i end this properly. I hope everyone is still liking it! Next time on this poorly written telenova we will see what Jinsoul means by telling yves to be herself. Enjoy MWAH! 

And remember! Vote for Loona for the Show! 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


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	27. Stormy weather

“Jinsoul I can’t do that.” Sooyoung tells her firmly for the fifth time. Jinsoul was talking crazy stuff to her, she had explained explicitly why Haseul was someone to look out for. And why they technically weren’t supposed to be seen together. Sooyoung could understand that, and she would understand if Jinsoul told her they had to act indifferent towards each other but well…the blonde was asking for a different kind of acting. “I can’t be mean to you.”

Jinsoul blinks at her clearly getting frustrated, “you have to she thinks you hate me now.”

“But I don’t. I love you.” Jinsoul softens a bit at Sooyoung’s confession and squishes her face with her hands, making the younger girls face scrunch up between them. Sooyoung pokes out her lips, making her look like a chubby fish and starts to talk again, “I don’t wanna hurt your feelings.” 

Sooyoung watches Jinsoul as the blonde tries to not laugh at her ridiculous expression but turns serious again, “please for me.”

Pushing the hands off her checks she spits, “no Jinsoul why can’t we just act like we don’t talk anymore.”

“Fine whatever.”

“Whatever?” Sooyoung scoffs at how ridiculous Jinsoul sounds, like a pouting kid. Haseul had been the one that made Jinsoul text her that and was the one that made Jinsoul run off for a week. “Jinsoul it’ll be fine.” 

The blonde is now turned away from her, still sitting on her lap. Sooyoung knows this scared Jinsoul, but she doesn’t know how manipulative Haseul can be. It wasn’t as serious as the blonde thought it was. “I’ll make sure it’ll be okay.”

Jinsoul relaxes at her touch, “we just have to convince her we’re not anything anymore. That’s what she wants...that I’ve finally cut you off.” 

Sooyoung hugs her from behind as she nods, Haseul knew they were something more, and she wanted them to not be. “This should be easy right?”

It’s not easy at all. Because everyone is shocked that Haseul is back...and all over Sooyoung. Jiwoo looks over at Jinsoul whose veins are about to pop as Haseul rubs and scratches down Sooyoung’s tummy. The taller girl only awkwardly smiles and steps away from Haseul before her girlfriend (who was staring at her with murderous intent) says something. Haseul only follows her around the whole practice.

She only touches her a little too much.

She only whispers crazy shit in her ear when she’s taking a water break.

Sooyoung hasn’t spoken to Jinsoul the entire practice, she hasn’t even looked at her. Jinsoul keeps going back and forth from pouting that Sooyoung hasn’t given her a secret glance to wanting to cut off Haseul’s hands. Everyone is amused to say the least, from how obvious Haseul is obsessed with Sooyoung and to how obvious Jinsoul is about to explode.

Vivi even gives up as Haseul refuses to let Jinsoul and Sooyoung be a team. The older woman tells herself it’s just for today and the love birds can be together again and not...whatever the hell Haseul and Sooyoung were.

The first practice set is full of mixed feelings, Jinsoul and Sooyoung both take their frustration out on the ball and coach V thinks that these teams are not so bad. Jiwoo is on Jinsoul’s team and struggles to keep up with the girl’s explosive speed. Jungeun and Hyunjin sit on the side and watch the back and forth, impressed with how much better Sooyoung and Jinsoul has gotten. 

Jinsoul seethes and clenches her fists everytime Haseul hugs Sooyoung’s for a scored point, or when she slaps her ass for encouragement. Or how she plays with Sooyoung’s ponytail. Haseul continues to invade Sooyoung’s personal space, while staring right at Jinsoul.

Haseul knows how much this is killing her. No matter how many times Sooyoung pushes her off, trying to lock apologetic eyes with Jinsoul’s to show her she’s sorry. Sooyoung hates this, maybe she should have just gone with Jinsoul’s plans of being mean and maybe Haseul wouldn’t have the chance to even be on her like this. Tears fill Sooyoung’s eyes and she realizes that she’s never had a mean bone in her body. Just a broken heart that’s made her have an icy wall built around her.

But now that Jinsoul has mended it back together through thousands of unspoken apologies, the blonde was melting that ice wall that Sooyoung was so comfortable being surrounded by. She misses that warmth now, Jinsoul’s warmth. It starts to make her cold again, and tears form from bitterness. Haseul grabs onto her waist and Sooyoung pushes her a bit harshly, “can you fuck off already?” Haseul raises a brow at her and smirks, Sooyoung realizes that she’s not been doing this whole thing because she wanted to get closer to her. But because Haseul wanted to see if she could break her, just like she broke Jinsoul before.

She wants to see if this whole game is fake.

Haseul can taste the victory.

The girl backs off, and doesn’t come near Sooyoung again. But she isn’t upset at all. If anything she’s glad. 

They continue to play the game, Sooyoung is a lot more aggressive now. Not caring that Jinsoul is on the other side as she slams the ball down with her palms. Sooyoung is angry that she has to hide everything, when she just wanted to show the world that Jinsoul was hers.

One particular volley lasts forever. Jinsoul is starting to get tired and Jiwoo is not the best partner. Haseul is a great partner though and perfectly sets the ball that was dug by Sooyoung, sloppily pumped up by her fists. Sooyoung quickly makes it back onto her feet and in a rhythm chases after the ball, jumping up to slam into it.

Jinsoul’s tired so she isn’t quick enough, and the ball slaps into her face. The blonde doesn’t lose her footing, but the hit makes her head snap back. Jiwoo covers her mouth and Jinsoul stumbles back before falling. Hiding her face away behind her hands, blood was already pouring down her chin.

Sooyoung gets nauseous and runs over to Jinsoul in a panic, wanting to cradle the girl in her arms and make it better. But she hears the choked voice, and Sooyoung realizes how scared Jinsoul is of losing her. Because right now Jinsoul wants Sooyoung to hold her now and tell her it's okay, but she knows Haseul is staring at them right now, waiting for the mistake.

“D-don’t Sooyoung.” 

Jinsoul wants Sooyoung to hold her, but she wants that for forever and not just this moment. 

Sooyoung grits her teeth and steps closer, “get up.” She’s afraid too, Sooyoung’s afraid it’ll always be like this, that they’ll have to act. Kicking at the girls ankle lightly she groans out, “get up Jinsoul.” 

Jungeun is about to get up and go slap the hell out of Sooyoung, not fully understand what was going on. Because just yesterday Jinsoul had barely stubbed her finger and Sooyoung was rushing to her aid, holding Jinsoul protectively and sprinting to go get an ice pack. Kissing the blonde gently as she cried like a baby even if the pain wasn’t that bad...it was ridiculous. But this was a comedy.

And not the kind she could laugh at, but the one where it was tragic enough to bring a sad smile to her face. 

It’s sad, because Jinsoul is so afraid she accepts the pulsing pain in her face just so she wouldn’t have to feel the pain of losing Sooyoung. That she accepts the jealousy of seeing Haseul just so she won’t have to see Sooyoung be with someone other than her. 

Coach V is there now, glaring at Sooyoung. The girl only stares down at Jinsoul with a face set in stone, but with eyes glossed in regret. “Sooyoung help me get her to the office.” Sooyoung doesn’t listen to coach v and waits for Jinsoul’s go, she won’t do anything without the girl’s okay. Jinsoul nods and Sooyoung knows she can drop the act. Jinsoul is starting to stand up thinking they’ll just walk her there, but Sooyoung lifts her up suddenly bridal style.

Jinsoul slaps her in the chest, “put me down asshole!” Sooyoung takes the slaps to the chest and holds on tighter to the blonde as she squirms and kicks her feet. Haseul frowns, there was the mistake she was looking for.

But she’s starting to feel like she’s made the mistake when she sees Sooyoung smile at Jinsoul. 

It’s such a beautiful smile, made of nothing but love and adoration. The one that her boyfriend Shownu gives her when he comes home. The blonde continues to nag at the girl, still trying to act like they’re enemies, but the expression in Sooyoung’s face and sparkle in her eyes is evidence that they are the opposite of enemies. The way she holds Jinsoul with ease, gentle and caring, her hands locked tightly around the girl as she carries her off following coach V.

Sooyoung’s eyes never leave Jinsoul’s face still hidden by hands. The show is really over when the glimpse of a smile comes from Jinsoul, when Sooyoung squeezes onto her thigh affectionately. It’s so obvious they’re in love, Haseul frowns at the realization, they’ve always been in love.

She was foolish to think she could change that. 

When they’re far away from the courts and closer to Vivi’s office Sooyoung knows it’s safe, “I’m sorry baby.” Coach V blinks and doesn’t turn around as the two behind her start to cut up with each other like they always do, there’s soft giggles and tiny sighs. And she’s reminded how sickly sweet it is to watch them when they’re enamored with each other.

“You seriously are an asshole you know that?”

“But you love me.” 

Vivi does glance back and rolls her eyes at Jinsoul’s bloody nose and cheesy smile. “Okay what the hell is up with you two.” Jinsoul and Sooyoung blink out of the little moment they were having and look at the woman who they had forgotten about. Sharing a glance with each other Sooyoung frowns at Jinsoul’s bleeding nose, the guilt eating her alive.

Jinsoul wipes at her top lip smearing the red all over her face before holding her head back, “umm we’re playing a game.” Vivi gives them a very weird look and Jinsoul has to wave her hand around, “not that kinda game! Just...we wanted to see...um.” 

Sooyoung realizes that Jinsoul’s a horrible liar, at least on the spot like this. “Haseul plans on telling Jinsoul’s parents.” Her girlfriend’s eyes widened as Vivi hums, she knew most of the situation at hand, but not Haseul’s part. Just the part if they knew they were dating Jinsoul would be forced to leave. 

Jinsoul is about to complain until Vivi cuts in, “oh, well we can’t let that happen can we?” 

Her coach shares a look with her and Sooyoung lets out a relieved sigh, helping Jinsoul into the door of the small building that has some offices and locker rooms. Packing the girl through the narrow hallway she leans down to kiss her forehead, making sure to do it when Vivi isn’t looking. The older woman opens the door to her office, “I’ll be right back I’m gonna get some bandages.”

Sitting Jinsoul down on one of the comfy chairs Sooyoung kneels in front of her, taking the blonde’s shirt to wipe at the blood beneath her shirt. “This is familiar.” Jinsoul says with a slight smile on her face. Sooyoung was the one with the bloody nose last time, but the tension didn’t exist anymore. Only a pull between them, making Sooyoung want to get close as possible. 

Sooyoung wipes at a tear in her eye and kisses Jinsoul’s top lip, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

Jinsoul appreciates how sweet Sooyoung is being but pushes her off with a laugh, “you’re not the one who got hurt! Why are you acting like such a baby?” Sooyoung shrugs and pouts some more making Jinsoul roll her eyes, “if this happened any other time you’d be making fun of me.”

The older girl stares for a moment before snorting, “yeah you look like shit but still I didn’t want to break your nose...I didn’t want to hurt you.”

Soft hands pet at Sooyoung’s head, “you didn’t Sooyoung however,” the hands slap at her head, “how the hell you gonna let Haseul hang all over you like that! Do you want me to rip her head off?”

Sooyoung protects herself while laughing, she kinda liked Jinsoul’s crazy side, “did you not see me pushing her off!”

The assault stops and Sooyoung looks up to see sad eyes and an even sadder pout, “...you wouldn’t even look at me Sooyoung, do I not look pretty today?”

“You look beautiful everyday! I thought you didn’t want me to look!”

“In secret!”

The door opens again and the playful argument they’re having comes to a stop. Sooyoung is almost slapped by her coach as the girl tries to patch Jinsoul up herself. After Jinsoul’s nose is pinched back straight and gobbed up Sooyoung hugs her tightly and gives her an excessive string of apologies. 

Coach V shakes her head and leads the two back to court, happy to see the girls still practicing. Jinsoul and Sooyoung follow behind, holding hands. But when they get close enough they break apart. The rest of practice isn’t crazy awkward like before, since Haseul has suddenly gone cold towards Sooyoung and the lovebirds share occasionally long glances. 

As the sunsets and everyone packs up, Jinsoul tells Sooyoung by an expression that she’ll pick her up later. That for now they’ll have to go separately, Sooyoung silently agrees with her girlfriend with a nod and frown. She really starts to pout as she watches Jinsoul leave without her. Sooyoung is the last to leave since her sister is picked up once again by Heejin on a mo-ped.

At least she thinks she’s the last to leave. 

Haseul is like a ghost with how quiet she is, creeping up from behind. “Sooyoung.” The girl gets a chill down her spine and turns to see Haseul staring intently, one of her hands grasping her arm shyly. The girl’s body language is hard to read, but her lips are set in a thin line.

“We need to talk.”

~~~~ 

At home Jinsoul keeps calling and texting Sooyoung, ready for the girl to be home already so they can eat and lay together. Jinsoul blushes at how domestic it sounds...when they haven’t had a chance to even go on dates yet where Jinsoul can buy Sooyoung whatever she wants. They’ve done everything backwards and it makes Jinsoul’s head spin since it’s better than she’s ever imagined.

But right now she’s worried because Sooyoung isn’t answering her. 

The door to her home opens and Jinsoul smiles and hops up excitedly, of course Sooyoung wasn’t answering her phone calls because she was on her way here. Running through the kitchen she giggles like a schoolgirl, slowing down so that she could pounce on Sooyoung whenever she saw her.

Her heart is racing with happiness. She can’t wait until they move away from all of this so it can radiate freely. Where she can scream to the top of her lungs with how much she loves Sooyoung.

She steps into the hallway and her heart stops. It sinks below the ground and stops beating. That happiness she wanted to shower in turns freezing drops of acids that burns into her skin. It’s Kwon and he has that fake smirk on his face and Jinsoul knows he’s up to something. That he wants something because he’s never here without a reason.

It’s not sex, because a long time ago Kwon knew he’d never be able to lay a hand on Jinsoul. His half cut off thumb is the evidence of that. No...it wasn’t that. He had no interest in Jinsoul besides tormenting her because she’s never given him the time of day.

That’s what he’s here for. To torment her.

Because he opens the door and there she stands, her mother.

A tear drops from her cheek and onto the floor. 

It hits the ground with a clap of thunder.

And the storm starts to pour.

~~~~

Should I go through and like cut some of this story? It’s very long isn't it’well anyways don’t get too worried! The angst is not that bad I swear! I promise hehe. 

Also I apologize for this chapter being so terrobull...

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	28. Bad News

Ignoring the buzzing from her phone, Sooyoung stares right into Haseul’s eyes. The girl had sat them down near some of the tables by the entrance to the beach. Sooyoung is starting to get impatient, usually when someone says they need to talk, they’ll talk. But Haseul has been silent for the last ten minutes and Sooyoung is tired of sitting in the sun. 

The smaller girl seems to be having her own inner conversation with herself while Sooyoung is the clueless audience. Haseul’s changed a bit since the last time she saw her. The girl’s hair has grown longer and she’s lost weight. There’s something different about her eyes too, there’s exhaustion reflecting in the light of the sunset. 

Finally, Sooyoung’s gaze is met. “You hungry?” Haseul asks her sheepishly, as if she was dodging what she really wanted to ask. 

Sooyoung couldn’t be more annoyed, “is this what you wanted to talk about? If we could go grab food?” Haseul chews on the fat of her lip before turning away. Her body hunched over the table and her arms spread across the wood lazily. 

Pulling out her phone, Sooyoung lets her mind wonder at the text she’s been sent.

[My Wifey <3]: Don’t come over, I’ll see you tonight

Sooyoung doesn’t like the way that sounds and stares at her phone long enough to get Haseul’s attention, “is that Jinsoul?” Looking up she jerks her screen out of view when she notices Haseul is leaning over snooping. The girl pulls away, “sorry you just looked like you saw a ghost and I wanted to see.” 

Swallowing and scooting away Sooyoung sends a quick text back, asking Jinsoul what was wrong. Once she does she pockets her phone before glaring at Haseul. The girl blinks at her and Sooyoung pretends to come for her, biting her lip to contain a laugh when Haseul flinches. Standing she grabs her bag, realizing how pointless all this was. “If you’re just gonna sit here and waste my time then I’m out.” 

Turning to head to Jinsoul's, Haseul calls out to her, “wait! Please...just a minute and I’ll stop bothering you.”

“Then hurry up, damn.” Sooyoung doesn’t even put in the effort to turn back to Haseul.

She can hear shuffling behind her and then the girl quietly mumbles out, “I’m sorry.”

Feeling her phone buzz she resists the urge to pull it out. Respecting Haseul enough to hear her out. “I know the way I’ve treated you and Jinsoul has been ya know shitty or whatever. But I meant everything I did. I just give up.” Sooyoung scoffs and slightly glances at Haseul. “I am still in love with you, but I’m not gonna look stupid fighting for you.” 

Narrowing her eyes, Sooyoung’s grip gets tighter on her bag. “I wish I could make her disappear but I can’t, no matter what I do you’re still wrapped around her finger.” Haseul walks in front of her, facing her fully. “When you realize how dumb you look everyday by being with her, I’ll be waiting for you.” 

Sooyoung defends Jinsoul, “you don’t know her like I do.” 

Haseul laughs and it makes her blood boil, “oh shut up!” The smaller girl smiles at her like she felt sorry for her, and Haseul really did feel bad. Sooyoung was chasing after someone she’d wasn’t even allowed to be with. The girl was foolish to think it would ever work with Jinsoul when the blonde didn’t know how to love, only to run from it. “I can’t wait till something happens again, and she’ll push you away and you’ll be stuck thinking of what went wrong. I would think you’d learn after the fifth time but you keep crawling back.”

Sooyoung averts her gaze, unable to swallow after that. “Jinsoul isn’t the one Sooyoung, you need someone who wants to be with you. Not scared to be.” Haseul stiffles out and rubs her hands together, “you can’t even function without her. It’s kinda pathetic to see you so dependent on someone who will never need you. She’s never worried about you.” 

“Fuck you.”

“I wish.”

Haseul laughs and flips her off while walking away. Sooyoung clenches her fists, hating how the words had some truth. Jinsoul has alway ran when things have gotten bad. Never staying to protect her feelings. But Sooyoung is sure that it won’t happen anymore, they’ve gotten too close now to be broken apart. Jinsoul surely wouldn’t leave her now after all they’ve been through. Jinsoul needs her just as much.

Right?

Sooyoung pulls her phone out and closes her eyes, not bothering to open the message and reply back. She only hopes that Haseul is wrong. That Jinsoul has changed and that she loves her enough to never let go ever again.

That’s all she can do. Is hope that Jinsoul has changed. 

[My Wifey<3]: Just don’t come over please

~~~~

Jinsoul taps on the dining room table, across from her is Kwon. The dude was picking at his teeth and shit, grossing Jinsoul out. Looking down at her phone she sighs when she realizes Sooyoung still hasn’t texted her back. Slamming it back down into her lap she groans at Kwon, “why are you here?”

He ignores her and continues to check out his nails and such, his feet propped on the table. Jinsoul shoves the table making his legs stretch. She can’t help but laugh when Kwon whines out. 

Finally he pays her some sort of attention, “man what?” 

“Why is she here?” Jinsoul doesn’t know what exactly is going on. Why her fiancé or her mother was here. Why the woman had disappeared upstairs while Kwon kept her sitting and waiting for god knows what to happen. It’s been an hour and Jinsoul was starting to lose her mind. She couldn’t do this anymore. But when she tried to leave the man had stopped her in an almost threatening way. Jinsoul wasn’t scared at all, but knowing her mother, the woman would probably put a warrant out or something just for spite. Jinsoul didn’t want it to be any worse than it had to be.

Kwon snickers and scratches his nose, “she has a surprise for you.” 

“Fuck off.”

Jinsoul rolls her eyes at the man who is full on laughing now and glances at the stairs. “Seriously why can’t you people leave me the fuck alone?” Jinsoul grabs her phone and texts Sooyoung once more, it’s her fifth one and her girlfriend hasn’t responded at all. Jinsoul was frustrated for more than one reason. It was like the universe was against her or something.

“I’m only here because you look cute when you’re mad also...for another reason.” 

Jinsoul flickers her eyes up back to her fiancé. He smiles at her and she can sense the danger behind it, “I know we never fucked before but if you’re anything like your mother...goddamn.” Blinking, Jinsoul let’s her mind fully wrap around what Kwon just said. Then her confused expression morphs into something of disgust. She really hopes she was getting the wrong idea.

“You did not stick your dick in that woman.” Kwon has always been very open about his sex life with Jinsoul, even though the blonde has never cared. At first he did it to make her jealous and once he realized that Jinsoul felt not a single thing for him, he did it just to annoy her. Jinsoul hated hearing him talk about it, because the way he would describe things was disgusting. 

Kwon shushes seriously, before whispering, “that woman is your mom and yes. Apparently your daddy isn’t doing the job right.”

Jinsoul could kill him. So she tries, Kwon doesn’t have time to react when Jinsoul swiftly hops out of her chair to grab a knife and point it at his throat. Kwon screams like a girl and holds his hands up for defense, “RELAX I DIDN’T! YOU THINK I’D REALLY SMASH?” Jinsoul rolls her eyes and flips the knife down pointing towards the crotch. Kwon tries to scoot away but she keeps him locked in place.

“Tell me one reason I shouldn’t cut your tiny ass dick off for disrespecting me like that.” She couldn’t stand him, how he constantly tried to ruin her life. How he can be around the woman who did ruin her life. 

“Because if you don’t I’ll tell you why we’re here.” Jinsoul hums and pulls the knife away before plunging it down into the wood near Kwon’s arm, he swallows audibly and avoids her eyes. “Ya bitch of a Momma got something for you.” Jinsoul leans onto the table and shakes her head. Wasn’t like Jinsoul was gonna run anymore. Whatever this woman had cooking in her evil mind could turn to dust. 

Jinsoul starts to grind her teeth, “and what would that be?”

Kwon sighs and leans back into his chair more, finally relaxing since Jinsoul doesn’t have a knife pointed to his junk. Something physically changes behind his features and Jinsoul knows something is bad wrong, “listen I don’t want to be here as much as you don’t want me here.” He mumbles slowly and pokes at the knife through the table, “but if I’m not...she’s got shit on me too. Jinsoul your moms a psycho.”

Narrowing her eyes she scoffs, “tell me bout it.” 

The dude shakes her head, “seriously, if I don’t follow orders like a fucking dog my ass is being locked up.” 

“Kwon what is it?” Jinsoul’s breathing slows down due to fear. Her fiancé has never really acted like this before. 

He looks up at her with regret laced in his expression, “I really wish you were still getting married to me, I don’t give a fuck that you gay or whatever.” 

“Kwon.” Jinsoul cuts his ranting off, anxious to hear the truth. 

“She’s marrying you off to some Japanese big shot. Apparently your dad has gotten the Jung name in a considerable amount of debt.” Jinsoul listens to the words slowly and suddenly her world is crashing down. “I don’t think we were ever getting married, I think this has been a plan a lot longer than you know it.” Jinsoul stares at him and knows he’s telling her the truth. How he’s just been a distraction all along. It’s never been this, it’s too simple and easy to get out of. No...what was reality was much more sinister than what she thought. This has been planned since she was fourteen and she was sure the whole reason they would move to Japan was for Jinsoul to be married to a billionaire. 

“Here sit down you look like you’re about to pass out.” For the first time, Jinsoul doesn’t push Kwon’s touch away. He raises up and helps her into the seat before patting on her shoulder. Jinsoul shakes her head, this couldn’t be happening. How could her life be sold off like that. Jinsoul’s never was in control, she realizes. She has always been a puppet in the game of fortune. Her mother failed to brainwash her...so she’d rather make her useful for something else.

Looking up at Kwon she blinks out tears, “how-how long have you known?”

He scratches his head, “this morning.” 

“And you’re just letting her do this to me?” Kwon never owed her for anything, but Jinsoul knew he had a soul and that even a guy like him wouldn’t stand by and let something like this happen to her. But she can tell he has no control over it either with the clench of his jaw. “Kwon I have a girlfriend, I have a life here. I can’t...I can’t fucking do this.” 

Kwon scrunches his features and shakes his head, “I’m sorry Jinsoul.”

Standing up to get in his face Jinsoul spits out, “no you don’t understand I’m not doing this!” Jinsoul wasn’t letting this happen. No matter what, this wouldn’t happen. She’d fight for Sooyoung, and even more, for herself. She would fight for the life she’s always wanted. Jinsoul was tired of things never being in her grasp. It was time for her to grab and run. Right now was her first obstacle. 

Wiping her tears from her cheeks she tries to calm the trembles running through her limbs, all she can think of right now is her sister and Sooyoung. “You either help me or let me go.” 

Kwon refuses to meet her gaze, “where are you gonna go Jinsoul?” 

“I can’t tell you that.”

He turns his eyes to her and frowns, “and you know I can’t let you go…” Jinsoul is glad that Kwon is mature despite his pettiness throughout the years. But the dude knows this is much more than just being a bit of a child. He understands what Jinsoul has gone through and the only reason he’s stayed throughout the years is because he genuinely believed he’d be the only one to save her. Of course they’d be married but Kwon would only pretend, letting Jinsoul freely live on her own.

But now he didn’t have the chance to do that. Unless. Jinsoul smiles and mouths  _ thank you _ before turning to leave. Kwon clenches his jaws and starts to think of an excuse.

How he let Jinsoul slip through his fingers once again. 

Walking outside Jinsoul groans when she sees that her car is blocked. Instead she pulls out the peculiar set of keys Kwon had slipped to her silently, the reason she had been thankful. He may have said he couldn’t have let her go, but he only did in case a certain someone was listening. Jinsoul looks around not spotting any other vehicle except hers and her mother’s. Until she glances behind and sees it.

“You gotta be kidding me.”

It’s a street bike. Blue and black in color...very intimidating. Not wasting any time Jinsoul rushes up to the motorcycle and slips on the helmet. “Now how the hell…”She looks at the key and the entrance pushing it in and turning. It revs loudly and Jinsoul curses, before hopping on. 

Inside Kwon eyes a glass bottle of whiskey and takes a deep breath, before smashing it on his head. 

Jinsoul turns the gas to the bike and she screams as it darts forward. Waving her legs around frantically to try to find balance she keeps a steady pace on the gas. Running down her driveway she screams the entire time. Scared of how hard this thing was to drive. When she makes it out to the streets she finally has some sort of control and starts to laugh with how much fun she was having. 

Getting comfortable on the seat she starts to go a lot faster. 

Dr. Jung makes her way down the stairs when she hears a bike drive off. Kwon is rubbing his now bleeding head and looks towards the door that Jinsoul didn’t bother closing. He looks up when heels click near up and the older woman scoffs, “you’re kinda pathetic huh.” 

Kwon rolls his eyes and picks a piece of glass out of his hair. “Letting a girl get the best of you when you’re a man.” Kwon wasn’t for sure if the woman didn’t see the blood running down his face...or if she was just dumb as fuck. 

“Sorry. She surprised me with a bottle to the head. Didn’t know I was supposed to be the fucking hulk or something.”

She laughs lightly and turns to wipe the blood on his forehead.

“Don’t worry.”

“Let her have her fun for now.” Kwon narrows his eyes at the sentence and slaps the woman’s hand away. He has to swallow fearfully when she mumbles out.

“She can’t run forever.”

~~~~

It’s night by the time Jinsoul gets to Sooyoung’s home, Jinsoul might have taken longer than she needed since she almost wrecked multiple times. Taking off her helmet she waves at Yerim who was sitting on the porch. The teenager squints not for sure who the mysterious rider is until screaming when she does.

Jinsoul hugs Yerim tightly while laughing, pulling back to glance at the window above. There was a figure standing but it was too dark to tell who it was. “Wow when did you get a bike Jinsoul?”

Smirking she winks at Yerim, “I stole it.”

Yerim doesn’t believe her one bit and raises a brow as the other twin comes out. Jinsoul greeted Hyejoo just the same before asking, “where’s your sister?”

The twins glance at each other and Hyejoo answers, “with Heejin as always.”

Yerim giggles, “she’s talking about Sooyoung silly, they’re dating now.”

Hyejoo side eyes Jinsoul, “ewww really?” Jinsoul blushes at the disapproval and looks back up at the window. If Hyunjin wasn’t here then that was definitely Sooyoung staring down at her like a shadow. 

“Um yeah, we’re girlfriends now.” 

Both the twins gag and Jinsoul laughs with a bit of nervousness. She was wondering why Sooyoung hadn't come down yet. Something stirs in her stomach. Something was wrong. Sooyoung’s mother then comes out and is pleasantly surprised to see her. Jinsoul makes her way into Sooyoung’s home while being asked a billion questions.

All she’s worried about though is the girl upstairs. She needed to tell her as soon as possible. Jinsoul didn’t want to hide anything from Sooyoung. She may be her lover now...but the girl was still Jinsoul’s best friend. 

Jinsoul wants to hold Sooyoung, just for reassurance. To know she wasn’t going to lose her again. Jinsoul would never want to admit it. But she needed Sooyoung, even if she’s been on her own all these years. The only way she felt right was if Sooyoung was hers. 

“Soul honey, are you hungry?”

“I’m okay Ms. Ha thank you though.” Jinsoul smiles and glances back at the stairs. Even Jinsoul’s Granma had acknowledged her when the woman never paid attention to anything but the soaps on the t.v.

Sooyoung’s mom smiles knowingly, “I think she’s asleep, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind being woken up by you though.” Jinsoul doesn’t say anything and wordlessly makes her way up the stairs. She knows Sooyoung was awake and probably mad at her. Jinsoul wasn’t the sweetest through texts earlier. 

Knocking on the door she gently calls out, “baby it’s me.” Jinsoul tries to open but it’s locked. Sighing she leans her forehead onto the wood. “Sooyoung.” 

The silence goes on for too long and Jinsoul starts to shake the handle. “Why did you text me like that?”

Sooyoung’s voice is hoarse and Jinsoul frowns. She knows Sooyoung is a bit sensitive to these things now. The slightest mistake could make Sooyoung worried sick, Jinsoul had to be extra caring with the girl. She needed to be honest and prove that Sooyoung could trust her. “My mom was there.” 

Putting her hands against the door she wishes there was no barrier, “it’s bad Sooyoung...so please let me in.” Jinsoul hears sniffles on the other side of the door and curls into herself. Sooyoung was the type of person to feel another’s pain as if it were her own. That’s why Jinsoul has never tried to burden the girl. She’s done it out of protection. But now, she can’t. 

“I need you Sooyoung.”

Jinsoul allows herself to be vulnerable just for a moment. Years ago she could have forced herself to block the girl on the other side of the door and let Sooyoung go to have a better life without her. But Jinsoul is too deep into Sooyoung now, she doesn’t know if she can move on. It’s nothing but selfishness.

She wants Sooyoung forever.

The voice on the other side brings a sharp pain to her heart, “I’m scared that you’ll cut me off again.” Jinsoul is about to promise her she will never again but Sooyoung beats her to it, “are you afraid of being with me.”

Shaking her head she scratches onto the door, “No...that’s all I want.”

“I’m afraid of hurting you.”

Jinsoul is left standing there without a reply and what feels like days, the door finally opens. She doesn’t take a second to embrace Sooyoung, pulling her tightly into her arms lovingly. Kissing the side of her face she shushes the girl and closes the door back when she catches a whimper. Jinsoul keeps saying small loving words while helping Sooyoung to her bed.

The blonde holds her close, making sure to not let go at all as Sooyoung buries herself into her arms. Jinsoul rubs the girl’s head and tells her it’ll be fine.

Sooyoung doesn’t ask much, only one more question. “Are you staying tonight?”

Jinsoul kisses her lips firmly, licking them to taste the saltiness from tears. She holds Sooyoung’s face as the girl was what was most precious to her. She gently caresses Sooyoung’s cheek with her thumb and kisses the frown until it disappears entirely. Jinsoul can’t describe the warmth Sooyoung gives her...she only knows the girl must be her sun.

“Actually…”

“Could I stay a while longer?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’ve never really read a wattpad fic but if I had to guess, this shit would fit into that category. I hope this story is still good to the people who read it! Thank you guys...for sticking around hehe 

  



	29. Ride on

Kwon takes a drink of his everclear, across him sits Lady Jung as stoic as ever. He didn’t know much about this woman, except the fact that Jinsoul and her younger sister Chaewon definitely took after their father. The woman was beautiful in all honesty, but Kwon’s never seen something uglier. He isn’t sure how he got pulled into all this. 

Well he did...apparently he’d go to prison for years if he didn’t agree to be her dog on a leash. Kwon regrets all the decisions he’s made so far, he should have stuck to music. The woman across him is drinking a dry martini, he reaches to palm his throbbing head, now a bandage over where he smashed the glass over his skull. 

The things he does for Jinsoul…

He stopped chasing her a long time ago, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t win her platonic love. “So what the hell are we doing now? I’m not paying for this drink ya know.”

“Please be quiet all you ever do is talk, don't you get tired?” The woman sighs back. Kwon grumbles under his breath and takes another drink. Lady Jung was actually royalty in Korea and married Dr. Jung for his wealth...before the man had wasted it all away. Her features are elegant and sharp, dark monolid eyes and straight lips with high cheekbones. Her hair is long and slick down and she barely has wrinkles except for the ones between her brows since she furrows them so often. 

The only reason Jinsoul was being married off because of money and stability. The stuff that Lady Jung had failed to succeed. Chaewon was also being planned to be married off. But that girl was a lot harder to find than Jinsoul. Kwon knew exactly where Jinsoul was.

And that was the sad part.

Kwon shakes his head at the thought. That girl could be free from all of this if she just ran off like her sister did but there was something holding her back. Kwon didn’t know until a few years ago...after he met Kim Doyeon. Jinsoul was in love with some deviant girl, a bit rugged but nonetheless gorgeous in appearance. 

Ha Sooyoung, Kwon’s done his research. The girl was mean and a bit of a hot head, apparently getting into a lot of fights and keeping her distance from most people. She was also a star volleyball player and a lot of people rumored her to go pro. Sooyoung was popular but for different reasons than Jinsoul was. 

Jinsoul was devoted to her in a way Kwon couldn’t wrap his head around. The blonde’s one desire was to break away, but her desire to be with Sooyoung was stronger. Maybe it was because they grew up together, and that was the one good thing from Jinsoul’s childhood that she couldn’t let go.

Kwon couldn’t see Sooyoung going anywhere though, her life in this city was too rooted. Jinsoul was so close to slipping away. Kwon wouldn’t be surprised at the end of this that Jinsoul would be alone across the world. Even though all her life she’s been building her future around Sooyoung. It just didn’t work. 

Even though they were best friends, even if didn’t make sense when they weren’t together. It was like everything made sure that they’d never be. 

Sooyoung was a different person with Jinsoul and the blonde was really happy when she was with that girl. Kwon sniffles, he wishes he could just do something. 

But he feels powerless with that stare on him.

“If you know anything...you better tell me boy.”

_ Jinsoul if you’re out there. If you’re with her. _

“Of course.” 

_ Run. _

~~~~

_ One Week Later _

“Sooyoung, I have to pee.”

“No I’m too comfortable.” 

Jinsoul blinks, “I’m gonna pee if you don’t let me up.” Her girlfriend groans and raises up slightly, letting her slip out from underneath her body. The past week has been almost heaven. Jinsoul was now practically living with Sooyoung, not daring to go back to her home. All they did was sleep, go to practice and come back to Sooyoung’s to lay around once again. 

It was nice...even though Sooyoung was starting to be too clingy, and Jinsoul thought she was the whipped one. Used to it would be Sooyoung that would have to pry her off since she got too affectionate. But it was like Sooyoung sensed something was up, so she didn’t let Jinsoul out of her hold, quite literally. Jinsoul couldn’t breathe sometimes with how tightly Sooyoung would embrace her at night or just lounging around. 

Ever since they’ve been kids, Jinsoul’s been the one to cling to Sooyoung. Since the girl was her protector, her hero. But as the years have gone on, Sooyoung’s became way more attached than she used to be. 

Although it was obvious, the huge crush Sooyoung had on her, she hid it better than Jinsoul did. Especially at school. Now Sooyoung didn’t care, she had to kiss Jinsoul every second it seems and the blonde was starting to get overwhelmed.

Maybe it was because what was waiting for her out there. Or her realizing she won’t be able to survive without Sooyoung.

She needed the girl. Sure she could live without her, but Jinsoul would feel lost the rest of her life. She’s changed, and Sooyoung has too. No matter how much they changed through the years. She wanted their love to stay the same. No matter how long they were together or apart, they’ve always been changing for the better. But Jinsoul knows she would lose a part of herself if this didn’t last. Jinsoul would always have a hole in her heart if Sooyoung wasn’t it for her.

Washing up in the bathroom she returns to Sooyoung’s room, only to freeze at the door. Sooyoung was looking out the window, “can we ride today?” Jinsoul thinks for a moment. Ever since she’s brought that damn bike over all that Sooyoung wants to do is play on it. Jinsoul doesn’t like it…but Sooyoung forces her on and goes at dangerous speeds making her hold on tight. 

Jinsoul shuffles up to her even skipping when she gets right next to Sooyoung, “no.” Jinsoul bounces cutely and Sooyoung blinks, not letting herself be affected, only turning back to the window. Jinsoul huffs and starts to wrap around her lanky girlfriend, rubbing her girl bits all over her.

“Stop it I can feel your nips.” Sooyoung mumbles to her and pushes her away.

Jinsoul pouts up and slithers right back to her, “I thought you liked that?” Sooyoung looks down at her, there’s more than a hint of arousal in her eyes...they haven’t done it in so long and…

“I don’t, so stop it, pervert.” Sooyoung lies straight through her teeth. Despite the rawness in her voice. 

Jinsoul thinks for a moment, and comes up with the perfect plan. “I’ll ride if you let me ride you later.” Sooyoung blushes red at that and it crawls down her neck and chest as well. Jinsoul knows how turned on Sooyoung is when she licks her lips. Her girlfriend is silent for what seems like hours...until she turns around, the heat already enveloping Jinsoul when Sooyoung grabs her roughly.

Jinsoul hums surprised when she’s pulled into a desperate kiss. Sooyoung practically assaults her with her tongue and teeth, leaving her breathless and clinging around her neck. Sooyoung leaves nail marks into her waist before pulling away, “cool.” Jinsoul sighs dreamily as her girlfriend walks off, Sooyoung could be such a jerk sometimes. What kind of response was that…

Following her she spots the smirk on Sooyoung’s lips, knowing she’s being teased. Jinsoul absolutely hated it when Sooyoung would blow her off like that and her girlfriend always took advantage of that. 

Sooyoung is like a little kid as she runs out to the bike bounces lightly on her feet before hopping on, making it bounce beneath her despite not weighing much more than a sack of potatoes. 

Jinsoul let’s her hips sway as she walks up to it, forgetting she doesn’t have much on but some tiny cotton shorts and a flannel. Crossing her arms in front of Sooyoung who was slipping on her helmet she groans out, “Don't even think about going fast you hear me?”

Sooyoung glances at her, “I got you baby don’t you worry.” Jinsoul narrows her eyes at Sooyoung who is checking her out from head to toe, she isn’t quick enough to dodge from the hand that comes flying towards her ass. The loud slapping noise is embarrassing enough, but the fact that she feels herself getting turned on is even more shameful. Jinsoul squeaks at the assault, jerking the hand still groping her away and goes to push Sooyoung off the bike but her girlfriend only laughs at her and fends off the weakly flying fists. 

The older girl grabs Jinsoul’s wrists and giggles at her, “stop just get that sexy ass on here and hang on...I promise I won’t go fast.” Jinsoul sighs and leans into Sooyoung who only grabs the extra helmet to slip it on her head. Jinsoul fights the smile away on her face as Sooyoung brushes the hairs from her head and snaps the chin strap on. Every time Sooyoung would put her helmet on for her and help her onto the bike. It was so trivial but it made Jinsoul swoon.

Getting comfortable behind Sooyoung she lets her arms wrap all the way around the girl’s tiny waist and her heart begins to thump against Sooyoung’s back. Jinsoul leans her head onto her girlfriend’s, “you ready?” Sooyoung asks her gently, revving the bike on. Jinsoul only mumbles out a plea.

All Sooyoung does is laugh before telling her to hold on tight.

~~~~

It finally stops, Jinsoul’s throat burns from screaming so much. Sooyoung goes way too fast...and she serves all around the road in an attempt to kill them both. Sometimes Jinsoul really does think Sooyoung is trying to kill them. Shaking from behind Jinsoul wobbles off, barely being able to stand on her own.

Sooyoung slips off not being affected by jelly legs and supports her girlfriend with firm hands. “You okay Soulie?” 

Jinsoul seethes at the innocent voice and slaps the top of Sooyoung’s helmet. Her girlfriend takes it as an invitation to rough play and the people around start to stare as the two girls wrestle around with each other. 

Sooyoung manages to trap Jinsoul’s head between her legs and tickles at her sides as the blonde screams more, her throat going raw from the vocal abuse. Jinsoul punches at Sooyoung’s tone thighs until she’s finally let free. The blonde huffs and wobbles back, her lip quivering from being teased too much. 

Her girlfriend laughs at her pout clenching her tummy since it hurt from how tense it was. Jinsoul rolls her eyes as she jerks the helmet off, tired of Sooyoung’s giggles. When she stomps back over to prop the helmet on the bike Sooyoung grabs her, taking her own helmet off in the process. Jinsoul would be lying if she said it wasn’t the most attractive thing she’s ever seen. Sooyoung’s hair sticks to her face while the rest of it flows down her shoulders a bit messy from the wind. 

Sooyoung’s eyes soften, even sparkling as they continue to stare down into Jinsoul’s. The taller girl smirks, feeling all sorts of butterflies and tingles in her body even after all these years of knowing Jinsoul. It never got old with her. “Sorry for going too fast, I thought you liked it.” Jinsoul sighs and glances off to the side, so close to giving in. 

“You knew what you were doing.” Jinsoul huffs.

Sooyoung smiles fully, letting her bunny teeth poke out. “You’re not wrong.” She admits and Jinsoul stares back at her. “I just love it when you hold me like that.” Jinsoul lets her shoulders relax and can’t help but lean up to give Sooyoung a chaste kiss. The taller girl closes her eyes at that and doesn’t let them flutter back open until Jinsoul pulls away for a few seconds.

There’s something so beautiful about Jinsoul when she wasn’t so worried. The blonde had no makeup on and all her features were so delicate, Sooyoung feels like if she touched or kissed them too roughly they’d break. So she made sure to handle Jinsoul gently. Sooyoung’s in love with the way Jinsoul looks at her, she loves the way Jinsoul loves her.. This is all she’s dreamed about her whole life.

Being with Jinsoul...it being this normal and natural. It just meant it was right.

“Why did we wait so long to do this?” Sooyoung asks her seriously. Why did they waste all those years hating each other when it was clear all they wanted to do was love each other. Jinsoul tilts her head at her words, and Sooyoung already knows the answer. It wasn’t that they waited...they’ve never waited. Jinsoul was always ready for this, she’s planned it her entire life. Sooyoung didn’t realize she was planning herself as well, only going through the motions until she finally found the rhythm she’s known her whole life. 

Jinsoul shakes her head and caresses her face, moving the baby hairs off of Sooyoung’s forehead. Sooyoung leans into the touch, “I don’t think there’s been a second in my life where I haven’t loved you in some sort of way.” Sooyoung tells Jinsoul. She’s hated her, but only because she loved Jinsoul so damn much. 

The blonde smiles brighter than the sun, “I know Sooyoung...I know.” Sooyoung accepts Jinsoul’s embrace eagerly, “you have no idea.” They hug for fleeting moments, there’s something bittersweet about their love. How much they need it since they know what it’s like without having each other. It makes Sooyoung never want to let go. It makes Jinsoul want to run away and never turn back, she wants to take Sooyoung far away, so that she’s never hurt again. So Jinsoul doesn’t have to hurt her anymore. “Come on.” 

Sooyoung lets Jinsoul lead her by the hand, she’d follow Jinsoul anywhere at this point. 

No matter what.

She’d always be by Jinsoul’s side.

~~~~

Lying next to Sooyoung Jinsoul lets herself drown in how pretty she is. Sooyoung’s skin is warm from the summer heat, darker than it normally is since the sun seems to radiate off her so much. The freckles, the ones that Jinsoul has mapped into her memories, the ones that Jinsoul used to daydream about kissing them, stretched around her nose. They're so faint that Jinsoul can barely see them, so she stares even closer, especially at the prominent one on her cheek.

Sooyoung is leaning back, her head tilted up towards the sky and parallel to the sun that was falling asleep in the horizon. The wind blows with Sooyoung’s long, silky hair, dark against the orange hue sticking to the air. It’s mesmerizing like something from a fantasy. Jinsoul traces Sooyoung’s features, down to her collarbones and to her smooth legs. 

Everything about her is perfect, Jinsoul thinks. Not even the greatest artist in the world could replicate the beauty that her best friend is. Sooyoung smirks, breaking the natural pout she has on her thick lips. Jinsoul doesn’t look away shyly when Sooyoung catches her staring. There’s a darker tone around her eyes and Jinsoul has to guess since she keeps Sooyoung up late at night. Talking about everything, anything. She’s afraid that it might be the last time she’ll ever speak to her, that nonsense whispered in the middle of the night. 

So she falls into that gaze Sooyoung gives her, the tired and puffy eyes that hold so much life in them. Jinsoul’s hand moves on its own accord and ghosts around the curve of Sooyoung’s jawline down her neck and to her chest where it sticks to the slow thrum of her heart. Sooyoung brings her hand to cover her own and presses it tighter against her chest.

Jinsoul hums, “you’ll always be here won’t you.” 

Sooyoung’s smile stretches wider, but not quite breaking open. “As long as you’ll have me.” Jinsoul knows Sooyoung is loyal to never leave her side. But she wonders if she’d still be there if Jinsoul left hers. She wonders if Sooyoung would wait for her forever. Will it always be this way? This feeling she has for Sooyoung. 

Sitting up herself, Sooyoung starts to brush the sand out of her hair. Jinsoul knows what she wants, “Sooyoung.” The girl hums and continues to comb her hair with her fingers. Sooyoung looks everywhere, but nowhere in particular like she was scared that if she fixed her gaze it’ll all disappear right in front of her. Jinsoul whispers to her, “I want this forever.” 

Sooyoung glances at her and then away, “me too.”

Jinsoul realizes that Sooyoung must know. That this isn’t over yet and they have no idea what’s to come. But Jinsoul doesn’t know what to do. So she does the only thing she knows how to, “I love you.” Sooyoung smiles sadly at her and Jinsoul scoots closer. They sit shoulder to shoulder and watch the waves roll over and over again.

As long as they still crashed against the shore, Sooyoung would still love her. Jinsoul would still love Sooyoung. The moon may disappear sometimes, but it never stops pulling the ocean. Jinsoul knows she’ll always shadow Sooyoung and that’s good enough. One day she’ll be able to shine just for and never stop. 

“You’ll always be my best friend, nothing will change that you know.” Sooyoung says and it almost seems like a goodbye. Jinsoul sighs when she feels soft hands wrap around her arm and Sooyoung’s cheek pressed against her shoulder. “No matter how much you’ve hurt me.” 

Jinsoul leans her cheek onto the top of Sooyoung’s head and mumbles, “don’t worry I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

She can sense Sooyoung’s smile, “then why does it feel like you’re leaving.” Jinsoul frowns and turns to kiss her head gently before inhaling the soft scent of her shampoo.

Jinsoul’s not sure how to say it, “I’m not. I can’t leave you.” 

Sooyoung pulls away, her face tense, “tell me Jinsoul. I know there’s a reason you’ve been acting strange since you started staying with me.” Jinsoul can’t stand to look at her, “what is this time...I’ll stop it, I’ll do whatever I can to keep you here.” 

Jinsoul turns, but only looks at the quiver of Sooyoung’s lips. She reaches to cradle her face, “I told you, don’t worry.” She doesn’t know why she lies, maybe it’s because she believes it herself. She won’t let them take her away again. Not when she’s just found what’s perfect. She couldn’t.

“I’m not going anywhere.” 

_ I’ll never leave your side... _

_ Even if they pry me from it. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost a month later! Sorry guys hehe...I’m back again.


End file.
